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Author Topic: Saikami's Studio [7/29 - First Date Part 2]  (Read 12539 times)

Offline Saikami

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Saikami's Studio [7/29 - First Date Part 2]
« on: July 13, 2009, 03:58:11 PM »
Alright, just for the records, this one-shot is basically an experiment. XD I wanted to see how you guys would react to a screenplay-styled fic. (Blame the inner director, ha.) I would like to hear your reactions and responses to this, please. If you find it hard to read because of the format, please tell me!

And another note, not everything in here will be in a screenplay format. :)

=================================================================

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY TIME

MORNING MUSUME enters their hotel in Los Angeles, all of them looking rather tired from the flight. After a few minutes of waiting, they are handed key cards.

MANAGER
Alright, Takahashi-san, Tanaka-san, here is your key. You two will be in room 217. Your stuff should be dropped off there already.

AI
Thank you.

AI smiles polietly and takes the key, walking towards the elevator, while REINA gives a confused look to the MANAGER.

REINA
Eh? I thought Eri and I were sharing rooms.

MANAGER
Apparently there has been a little switching going on, Niigaki-san and Kamei-san are sharing a room instead
.

REINA
(still slightly confused)
Okay then...

REINA notices that AI has walked off.

REINA
OI! Wait up!

REINA dashes towards AI, who is already in the elevator. REINA makes it in before it closes, and AI hits the button for the second floor. The door closes.

An awkward silence fills the air. REINA shifts uncomfortably while AI just leans against the elevator walls.

REINA
(trying to break the silence)
I wonder why they switched rooms so suddenly...

AI
Gaki-san was telling me how she was thinking of requesting a room with Eri because of something they had planned.

REINA
Oh...Cool.

An awkward silence fills the air again.

REINA
(thinking voiceover)
Is it going to be this quiet all night? I've never actually shared a room with Ai-chan before...

Awkward silence continues... REINA clears her throat just to make noise.

INT. SECOND FLOOR - DAY TIME

After what seems like forever, the elevator door opens. REINA practically runs out of it, while AI just strolls out of it casually.

AI
Now...Room 217 is..
.

AI glances around.

AI
This way.

AI turns left, and REINA follows quickly.

REINA
(thinking voiceover)
It can't really be that bad, I mean...Aichan and I get along fine. Sleeping in the same room wont make a difference. It's not like we're sleeping in the same bed or anything.

AI suddenly stops, and REINA almost runs right into her but stops herself in time. AI pulls out the card key and opens the door, holding it open for REINA.

REINA
Thanks.

REINA enters the room, shortly followed by AI.

INT. Room 217 - Day time

As REINA and AI walk into the hotel room, they find that their luggage is already there. REINA looks around and notices there is only one bed.

REINA
Eh?

AI apparently had noticed as well, for she raised her eyebrows at Reina.

AI
What? Weren't you listening earlier? They told us that there was a mix up in the booking process, so we all got rooms with queen beds instead of two twins.

REINA
Why would I care enough to listen to something like that?

AI
(grinning)
Because you care enough now? What's wrong, Reina? You don't want to share a bed with me?

AI looks to have a glint of evil in her eyes. REINA blushes and responds quickly in her defense.

REINA
It's not like that! I just didn't know!

AI laughs and grabs her luggage bag, pulling out various things and neatly putting them on the side table. REINA sits down on the bed, trying to make herself busy with unpacking.

REINA
(thinking voiceover)
Sharing a bed!? What the hell? Am I the only one that finds this a little...weird?!

REINA glances over at AI, who had pulled out a bunch of shower supplies. AI stands up and starts heading for the bathroom.

AI
I'm going to take a quick bath.

REINA
Uh, okay.

AI grins at REINA.

AI
Now be a good girl and don't cause any trouble, ne?

AI walks into the bathroom and closes the door.

REINA
Eh? Does she mean...? Wait, what?

REINA shakes her head to try and clear her mind.

REINA
(thinking voiceover)
Aichan isn't like that...is she? She would never...Is that why Gaki changed rooms?

REINA tries to remain calm, but it is still obvious that she is freaking out. She grabs her phone out of her pocket and dials RISA's number.

The phone rings.

RISA
Hello, this is Niigaki Risa speaking.

REINA
Why did you switch rooms with me?!

RISA
Tanakacchi?

REINA
Answer the damn question!

RISA
Umm...because Kame and I have some stuff we're planning.

REINA
Don't bullshit me, I know you got out of rooming with Aichan for some reason, now what is it?

RISA
(laughs)
Really, I didn't switch to get out of rooming with Aichan. Why would I? She's one of my best friends.

REINA
...Really?

RISA
Really, now I gotta go. Just try to relax, okay?

REINA
(mumbling)
Fine...

RISA
Bye bye now~.

RISA hangs up and REINA let's out a sigh, plopping on the bed.

INT. GAKIKAMEI'S HOTEL ROOM - DAY TIME

ERI looks at RISA as she hangs up her phone.

ERI
Is she really freaking out?

RISA
Yeah, she made it sound like Aichan was going to kill her or something...

ERI laughs and dumps the rest of her clothes on the bed.

ERI
Think she'll figure it out?

RISA
Yeah, she will soon enough.

INT. ROOM 217 - NIGHT TIME

About four hours have past since REINA had talked to RISA. REINA is watching random American drama's on the television.

REINA
I thought this stuff was supposed to be internetesting...

REINA looked at the clock and sighed. She crawled off the bed and walked over to the bathroom door, knocking on it loudly.

REINA
Are you done yet!?

AI
(yelling from inside bathroom)
Just one more level!! I'm almost there!

REINA's wonky eye twitches.

REINA
You said that an hour ago!

REINA grits her teeth, walks back to the bed, and sits down, crossing her arms in frustration.

REINA
(mumbling to herself)
Now I get why Gaki switched rooms...

FADE TO BLACK

=======================================

Yes, I am well aware that this takes up a crapload of space XD; And I'm sorry if that makes things annoying.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2009, 04:34:34 PM by Saikami »
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Offline Estrea

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2009, 04:04:11 PM »
LMAO!!!

Script style isn't my favorite writing style, but hey, it's meant to be a script, I can deal with it. XD

Gamer Ai-chan for the win! :D I told you she spends hours inside the bathroom. Hehe. Poor Reina.

...wait, does she have a spare battery for her PSP or did she plug it into the socket they usually use for the hairdryer? *bets on the hairdryer* XD

Why doesn't Reina just go borrow the bathroom from one of the other girls? XDDD Silly kitten.

Would love to see more from you. :)

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Offline writerjunkie

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2009, 04:44:34 PM »
 XD it was so funny. I like script style for some reason. I've read a few fics that were like that and they were very entertaining and funny. So I don't mind this at all. I hope you write more. lmao the ending I didn't expect and it made me laugh.

Offline ShikyoxYaiba

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2009, 06:11:06 PM »
XD!! I'm okay with script style, I suppose. It's not something I read often, but that's because I'm often intimidated by giant blocks of text, which many script styled fics I have read seem to look like. The spacing was a welcome thing for me, even if it made your post giant.

Oh Ai-chan... I love how much of a gamer she is. She totally flipped when Sephiroth's VA came on @ AX. xD

I look forward to more from you. ;)

Offline Hotaru

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2009, 06:36:32 PM »
LOL Ai-chan was playing a game the entire time. XD

Haha, that was funny. :D

Offline adventwriter

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2009, 08:20:19 PM »
Script style is good. I dunno what I expected but it surely wasn't gamer Ai-chan. Hilarious ending + Reina's phone call with Gaki-san was funny.

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Offline JFC

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2009, 12:34:19 AM »
Dayum Risa's a sneaky one. Gaming (and nekkid in the bath) Aichan FTW! :rockon:


Guess it never occured to her that she could probably just go into one of the other members' rooms and use their shower? :P

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Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2009, 03:54:47 AM »
Ok, I'll admit it, I was apprehensive about this whole screenplay thingy. :lol: But I'm quite happy I read it, very entertaining! I liked the part when Ai-chan was being all she-devil and Reina's all "...wait a second..." :D And for some reason, Gaki's "Bye bye now~" is still cracking me up. I have no idea why. :rofl:
All in all, it was good~ :grin:

Offline Fenrir

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2009, 08:36:01 AM »
Bathing, nekkid, gaming Aibutt :heart: lol Poor Reina, she'll never get her shower.

Offline Kuji

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2009, 11:18:09 PM »
To be honest, I generally don't like reading fanfiction in script form because to me a script is not a final product that can stand on it's own but rather part of a process that will produce a film, play, skit or something along those lines. It's because it serves this purpose that scripts are very much the skeleton of the story. Usually, I'd only read scripts because I want insight on a film/play I especially like.

That being said, I thought this was pretty neat. I liked the dialogue and the premise. I think that witty conversation and a clever twist can make anything enjoyable to read. Now if only I lived in another dimension where impossible things can happen, so I could actually see this filmed and on my television. :D Since the camera stays out the bathroom, it can still be G-rated. XD

Offline lil_hamz

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2009, 06:29:12 AM »
Am I the only one who likes reading in the script format? This fic was incredibly funny and enjoyable. I hope this means you're gonna start writing more? I wanna read more......... *echoes* :P

Offline kRisZ

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2009, 06:34:15 PM »
Yay! it's nice  :twothumbs

Offline Saikami

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/13 - Last Minute Changes]
« Reply #12 on: July 19, 2009, 02:23:16 AM »
Thank you everyone who posted their opinions about the style. :) I've decided that I'll just keep mixing things up. :3

Estrea: Haha, yes! Gamer! Ai is pure win. XD And yes, she did plug it into the hairdryer thingy. :D And now that I think about it, she also has a mini extension chord in there because her PSP charger chord isn't long enough. :lol:

Writerjunkie: I'm glad you enjoy the style. :3 This next one isn't script-style, but I hope you'll enjoy it just as much. :D

ShikyoxYaiba: Gamer Aichan is always fun. XD It doesn't shock me that she flipped at AX for Sephiroth's VA. :lol:

Hotaru: What else would she be doing in there for that long? ;)

Adventwriter: I'm glad you enjoyed it. :3 Reina flipping out is always fun to write.

JFC: Risa's dealt with Gamer Ai for a long time, it's about time she got a break. XD (nekkid Ai is always win!) Oh, and as for Reina showering in another room...Why would she think of that? It'd make things too easy for her. XD

Strawb3rrykream: I'm happy to know that you still read it even though it's a script. :3 Here's a normal one!

Fenrir: Aibutt FTW :cow: (nekkid and gaming is just bonus points lol)

Kuji: Oh, how I wish I could've filmed this! XD If it were possible, I totally would. Sucks for both of us that I can't, huh? XD

Lil_hamz: I like it too, don't worry. :D Yes, I am planning to start writing more. ^_^

kRisZ: Thanks :D
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Offline Saikami

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/18 First Date?]
« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2009, 02:27:47 AM »
First Date?

It had been over a year since they had last seen one another, so it was rather awkward for Reina to bump into her on the streets. The wonky eyed girl was shocked, if nothing else, to see the other.

“Reina?” The taller girl flashed a warm smile. She makes it seem like we never broke up. “It's been a while! How've you been?”

“Yeah, a long time...” Reina muttered, shoving her hands into her pockets, “Same old, I guess.” Just after the yankii glanced away, she felt herself pulled into a tight embrace.

“You know that I've missed you, right?”

Reina shrugged grumpily, still locked in the awkward hug, “Ever heard of a phone?” Obviously, the kitten felt awkward running into her ex. It wasn't that Reina wasn't over the other, she just liked to avoid awkward situations like the current one she was in. What do you say to a girl who fucked you a year and a half ago?

“Still keeping the yankii act up, I see.” The taller finally let go and Reina stepped back, “So what brings you here?”

Reina paused for a moment, thinking of how to word her answer. “I'm...on a date.” She said. Was that true? …Not exactly. It's not so much that it couldn't be called a date, but it was more like two girls shopping together then grabbing some food.

Why did I say that? The yankii thought. She didn't exactly come up with a clear answer herself, it was an awkward mix between actually liking the person she shopping was with and trying to prove she was over her ex. Whatever works, right?

“Oh?” A grin. “Who's the--”

“Maki?” Ai stepped out of the nearby bookstore, and walked up next to them. “Imagine running into you here, it's been ages!”

Reina felt herself start to blush. She was hoping to shake Maki off before Ai came out of the store. Great, now I have to act like I'm dating Ai while she doesn't know it...

“It certainly has been!” Maki grinned at Ai, “I should've known you'd be the one with Reina.”

Ai smiled, oblivious, “Yeah, we go out pretty often.”

Maki's grin grew, she seemed amused by the entire situation. Especially because Reina was now completely red. “You two are a cute couple.”

“Umm...Thanks?” Ai gave a bemused look, and Reina was about to go slam her head into a wall.

“Oh, no need to act dumb, Aichan~” Maki patted Ai's back. “I know you two are dating, no need to hide it.”

Before anyone else had a chance to respond, Maki continued after looking at her watch. “Ah! I hate to cut things short, but if I don't get going, I'm going to be late for a meeting.”

“Oh...That's too bad.” Ai said politely.

“Yeah, too bad...” Reina muttered, slight sarcasm hinted in her voice.

“Hopefully I'll see you guys around.” Maki quickly hugged them both goodbye before walking off.

Reina and Ai both started to walk in silence, but it was soon broken after a few moments when Ai decided to speak.

“So...We're dating now?”

Reina, who was already embarrassed, replied immediately, “Yes, now shut up.”

“Oh...okay.” Another pause, “...Does this mean you'll buy me dinner?”

============================================================

I haven't written Reiki in a while. XD; But clearly, I still love my ReinAi. :sweatdrop:
« Last Edit: July 19, 2009, 02:42:13 AM by Saikami »
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Offline alwaysYou

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/18 - First Date?]
« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2009, 04:18:09 AM »
AiReina :cow: :cow:
love the last line.. :lol:

Offline Estrea

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/18 - First Date?]
« Reply #15 on: July 19, 2009, 04:48:40 AM »
I love that last line too. Lmao. So practical of her. XDDDD

Poor Reina, she just gets the short end of the stick all the time. XD

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

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Offline adventwriter

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/18 - First Date?]
« Reply #16 on: July 19, 2009, 05:47:01 AM »
I'll agree with the other two comments and say that the last line was total WIN. Ai-chan is awesome - not freaking out but instead going straight to the practical. Haven't been much of a fan of ReinAi before but the couple is starting to grow on me. Last one had Gamer Ai-chan, this one had Practical Ai-chan.

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Offline .Mikoto

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/18 - First Date?]
« Reply #17 on: July 19, 2009, 05:51:02 AM »
I have to post here your fics are really good, this one really make me laugh, especially last line  XD
Poor Ren-chan but she's dating Ai now  8)  XD
RenAi is  :heart: I want more people to wite about them  :(
hope you will continue   :D

Offline JFC

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/18 - First Date?]
« Reply #18 on: July 19, 2009, 06:14:34 AM »
First Date?

Wow...haven't had Maki involved in a fic in a while.  :O



Quote
Reina and Ai both started to walk in silence, but it was soon broken after a few moments when Ai decided to speak.

“So...We're dating now?”

Reina, who was already embarrassed, replied immediately, “Yes, now shut up.”

“Oh...okay.” Another pause, “...Does this mean you'll buy me dinner?”
She'd better.
:on lol:

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Offline peti-chan

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Re: Saikami's Studio [7/18 - First Date?]
« Reply #19 on: July 19, 2009, 12:59:16 PM »
Finally some ReinAi! :heart: Thank you soo much for this*hugs* Lately, there isn't much about those two :( I'm feeling like an addict on a rehab or something XD I love Reina's yankiness and the last line was an epic win :twothumbs

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