@Yurena, @vickystar, I don't want to give away spoilers... so I don't want to say...just yet... but yeah... I think it was the saddest thing I have written so far...
@sasshirie, I like how you separated everything with the awards
@key17, thanks for reading... even when its sad
This chapter mainly dedicated for WMatsui, they history, current situation... after it... two more chapters to go!
Maybe I'll finish it by the end of this month.
(p.s: I know someone who keeps mentioning word count... not sure if that is really important but this one has more 3000 words). Enjoy!
Chapter 8 - I Remember You
“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” — Steve Jobs.
The situation continued from the same moment it was interrupted previous time. Rena’s realization where all her doubts went away recognizing Jurina completely and acknowledging it out loud and younger Matsui staring back at Rena a bit confused, still wondering what that suppose to mean and how this stranger knows her name. Its not like she could have heard it from the others and there was no possibility of hearing it outside the room because of isolation.
Jurina looked Rena up and down like the very first time they captured older girl and asked slowly still in doubt “do I even want to know how you know my name?”
Rena nod her head almost instantly. Despite everything what happened earlier and even Jurina’s act around her all of a sudden those feelings of aggressiveness disappeared. Maybe the fact that at the moment Jurina looked like someone who lost hope altogether had some influence… but only maybe… Rena was pretty sure that the real reason is the fact that she felt like she knew Jurina… knew not the facade that she presented to others but her true colors.
“Enlighten me then” Matsui Jurina sigh letting Rena speak up though not showing the same amount of interest that the girl with same last name expected at such situation.
Rena didn’t take this as a bad sign, knowing that she can easily get this girl’s attention when she tells her about the memories they shared. All that will be left for Jurina to do… is remember the rest herself.
“You took me out of a burning car and called for an ambulance…”, Rena started speaking up not turning her eyes away from Jurina, staring at her face attentively so she could get at least a clue that her abductor remembers it too “you hadn't left my side back then for some time… or at least that was what that kind nurse told me… you kept on checking on me for some time too… without even knowing who I am”.
Here… that short moment where Jurina’s eyes twinkled in a different light. At the same time Rena though to herself:
<I can’t explain it and I noticed that she tried to cover it at that same second so if I haven’t looked at her I wouldn't have noticed it at all. My story sounded familiar though younger girl tried faking that its the first time she’s hearing any of it.>“So?”
“So… you saved a stranger that you had no idea about and you kept on visiting me before finding out that everything is going to be alright… we had that one conversation… maybe you remember at least that? You were so…” Rena seemed to look for a perfect word to describe Jurina but couldn't think of anything and end up saying “innocent and even shy back then…”
*cough* “Excuse me?” for a second it looked like Jurina was close to standing up and killing Rena in an instant.
Older Matsui smiled sheepishly because of it “That means you remember, right?”
They stared at each other for some time without breaking eye contact. It didn’t seem that Rena is going to back out even knowing that this girl can be dangerous (she did get hit by Jurina before… though she also hit Jurina while trying to escape…it can count as a drawn).
“Fine…” Jurina sigh with a shook of her head. Apparently even the girl herself couldn’t believe the fact that she’s admitting to it as it kind of ruined her current image “I Remember You”.
Some time ago… actually… many years ago Jurina weren't ruined by life as she was now. Yes, the girl already lost the people closest to herself but somehow one incident gave her some hope. Ironically, that incident involved other two people, sisters who got into a car crash.
Younger version of Jurina walked home noticing the incident unsure what to do next. She could have walked away as some people did in such situations deciding that it has nothing to do with them. She could have stand by the road and simply call an ambulance (which she did later on knowing the dangers and realizing that the girl she saved needs medical attention).
Despite all the possible options Jurina chose an irrational one. Going closer to the burning car and looking inside. Actually, at first she noticed Matsui Sakiko who still had some strength in herself. Jurina wanted to pull her out first but situation got more complicated when fire spread out and even smoke appeared.
She noticed Sakiko whispering something and read from her lips that older girl begged to save her sister’s life. Matsui Sakiko died almost instantly afterwards and Jurina didn’t waste any more seconds running around the car as fast as she could and with the strength she didn’t know that someone can possess she opened the doors and pulled Rena outside.
At first the girl she saved was conscious and even looked at her in surprise and shock. She lost her consciousness soon after and Jurina had to carry her far away from the car almost escaping the explosion that followed soon after.
For the first time thinking everything through Jurina pulled out the phone and called for an ambulance staying by unconscious girl’s side all the time.
She even kept her company while driving to the hospital. No one knew Rena’s name at that moment and for some reason young Matsui felt responsible for her well being.
While doctors took care of Matsui Rena, police found out Matsui Sakiko in the car and found the information about both girls, Jurina waited outside the doors a bit anxious not having a clear destination were to go next but at the same time not minding the fact that she’s wasting time there.
Doctors didn’t let Jurina inside but after a day or so… probably because she only waited there at later time when other visitors already left, one pleasant nurse decided to let this young and worried girl inside. Where is the harm if she can keep a company for the sleeping girl? Considering the fact that she was the one who saved her.
One day… while Jurina weren’t there and Rena finally woke up, that same pleasant nurse told Rena about her visitor. Rena heard a story of how Jurina stayed by her side for some time a bit anxious and nervous, not sure if she wants older girl to wake up when she’s there or not and at the same time asking even more questions than her parents do.
<Is everything really going to be alright? There is no harm? If I took her out of that car later or earlier would the situation be any different as it is right now? Will she really recover?>Young and curios girl just couldn't stop the questions that left her mouth without even considering them. Also, she never thought that this pleasant and friendly nurse might retell all of that to Rena.
That same day Rena tried her hardest to stay awake when her savior showed up again already knowing everything that happened in those couple of days… even knowing about her sister. At the same time Rena knew that she just have to thank this girl for saving her life… as hurtful this situation was… Rena was a fighter.
She wanted to live. Unknown stranger gave her this opportunity.
Jurina showed up as usual planning to sit by Rena’s side for some time and ask few questions a nurse as she also usually came around that time but this time Rena opened her eyes surprising her. Jurina was even startled moving a little bit away and not able to answer anything to Rena’s shy “Hello”.
“You’re the one who saved me, right? I think my parents are looking for you… to show the gratitude or something…”
Jurina shook her head slightly annoyed by the comment “I don’t need gratitude. That’s just what people do…”
“You mean… usually people run to burning car to check if there is someone inside and then takes them out and drags them to safety though the car might explode at any second?” Rena reasoned trying to empathize that it was actually very risky activity.
Younger Matsui shrugged her shoulders slightly “Maybe… its not like you can make a questionnaire and ask people if they were ever involved in such situations…”, Jurina even rolled her eyes proving the absurdity of that.
Still staring at younger girl Rena smiled honestly and curiously “either way… thank you… if not you…”
“Don’t mention it…”
“You saved my life and…”
“Don’t mention it… it really… nothing big… like… I just happened to be there… that’s just accidental…”
Rena nod shortly noticing that the girl feels a bit uncomfortable while talking about it but her blushing face also gave something away for the older girl who liked analyzing people.
“Well… I guess then… thank you for checking to see if I’m okay afterwards… maybe people would try to help out in such situation but I doubt they would still keep on coming to find out if the person they saved feels alright…”
Younger Matsui decided that its a perfect time to avoid Rena’s eyes shrugging it off like the first one “how do you know? You can’t make a questionnaire…”
“Okay okay… I get it… you’re keen on those questionnaires aren't you?” Rena joked this time trying to lighten the mood and also noticing that Jurina keeps on coming back to the same topic and same arguments. “Can I ask you one last question? I hope this one won’t make you feel uncomfortable…”
Doubting at first younger girl finally gave up and nod her head “only one question…”
“Yeah just one… and if you don’t really want to answer it… I will understand it but… what’s your name?”
Expecting something extraordinary Jurina stared back at Rena for at least 10 seconds without opening her mouth and without forming any words. Finally, she spoke unable to hold herself back anymore “just my name?”
“Yeah… if that’s not too much of a…”
“Jurina”.
“Jurina?”
“Well yes… that’s my name”. Jurina once again shrugged her shoulders for some reason feeling a little bit uncomfortable. It even looked like she wasn't used to repeating her name out loud. Considering how her life turn out to be that was probably true… Jurina didn't need to repeat it to people while meeting them because none of those meetings had any importance and didn't last for longer than it had to.
That was also the reason why Rena’s question surprised her so much. Someone showing their genuine interest… someone thanking her… somehow Jurina felt so uncomfortable that she even stood up ready to leave.
“Wait my name is…”
“Don’t.”
“What?”
“I don’t need to know your name. What good can it do for me? It won’t change my life…”
“I just thought…” it was time for Rena to be confused. Usually in such situation…well its kind of a normal etiquette to tell each other your names, last names, maybe even exchange phone numbers so they can keep in touch afterwards. Older Matsui expected all of that, realizing that there is no way she’s ever forgetting the girl that has saved her life.
“You know my name… that’s enough… and you don’t need to thank me… just… keep on living and… I gotta go…”
“Will you come…tomorrow?” Rena asked carefully, as if trying not to frighten some small animal she encountered in the street.
Jurina whispered something similar to “I don’t know”, not wanting to lie but not making a decision if she came back again or not. After that she just ran out of the room still thinking of everything that happened during that day and that one simple conversation which made her feel both happy and uncomfortable.
Jurina didn’t come next day…
She didn’t came back the day after tomorrow too.
“Can I ask one question again?”
“Again?”
Rena sigh shortly… she could read Jurina’s expression but for some reason younger girl kept on fighting and ignoring the fact that Rena’s the same person she saved in the past. “Your face gives it away… so can you please stop pretending and instead… just… can I ask you one question?”
“Fine” short and cold answer while avoiding eye contact. Jurina probably predicted that she might hear the same uncomfortable question like before. Rena can burn younger Matsui bubble by simply asking what’s her name… so who knows what kind of question she might voice out this time.
“Would you do the same? If you saw a car… wouldn't know if there’s someone inside… would you go to check and take that person out? You mentioned back then… that anyone would act the same way… so by looking at my eyes… could you tell me what you do this time?”
Slowly Jurina turn her gaze at Rena, for few seconds she stared at the girl and finally answered quite emotionless “even if I knew that someone is inside there… you know what I would do? I would stand by the road and look at the explosion enjoying the view… you might not be aware of it… but that’s actually a beautiful scene to see. Just like fireworks”.
Rena gulp for a second, taking in a deep breath as the words of younger girl hit her. At the same time, there was a reason why Matsui asked Jurina to look at her while answering this question. Despite her cold demeanor Jurina’s eyes gave it away. “No… you would do the same”.
Firstly Jurina raised her eyebrows in mocking manner and then laugh out loud “how can you know what I would and wouldn't do?”
As an answer Rena knelt in front of the girl and touched her face. It was a simple action just taking a stray of her hair and putting in behind girl’s ear at the same time not breaking eye contact.
Jurina blushed at the same moment when Rena’s fingers get in contact with her skin. Especially because of delicateness of her moves. She moved away a little bit with evident anger and confusion “what are you doing?”
Rena didn’t take her hand away still looking at younger girl with care so for that reason Matsui grabbed her hand and taking it away and squeezing harder “can you stop? That’s weird”.
“You’re beautiful like that…”
“Excuse me?” Jurina repeated this question for a second time through the evening while staring at Rena with disbelief.
“When you get uncomfortable and shy…”
“Okay that’s enough already…” Jurina stood up as fast as lightning looking around the messy room and asking colder “so why are you still here?”
“Isn't this the only place where I am safe?”
Jurina squinted her eyes doubtful. The fact that Rena knew so much of everything that happened… without even knowing actual facts…
“Juri…na… did something happened? Why all of a sudden you decided that…?”
“Your cousin killed my friend… well not an actual friend… my friend’s girlfriend… while filming it and showing it to us… I mean she wanted to see the scene how we end your life but didn’t get it so instead…”
“Oh…I’m so sorry Jurina… I knew she’s capable of anything I have told you and some of your friends that before… but I’m really sorry that it turn out like that and…”
“Why are you sorry? We’re the ones who chose to abduct you without finding all the facts… if we knew everything… you would be dead now with that car’s explosion and we would still work on small jobs instead…”
“Well your situation would certainly be better… knowing my cousin… I don’t think she would have changed anything even if you chose to kill me and…”
“I know… she just wanted a show. Obviously, she hoped that we will be desperate to do it. We were but… its not like my friends are killers and…”
“You are…?”
“Yes.” Jurina all of a sudden answering coldly. “I was…couple of times…”
“I somehow doubt you killed for no reason, Jurina… I think you really had to… and I doubt it was good people…”
“Stop talking like you know me…” younger Matsui sigh glaring at Rena but not contradicting her words. “I don’t know what else to do though… all of this is pointless right now…”
Rena kept looking at Jurina without hiding that she truly cares. She could have hated Jurina, considering on what conditions she had to stay in this place but somehow she couldn't blame Jurina. She didn’t even know this girl or her friends full story but still… felt some sort of closeness that went beyond words. “Maybe… you could tell me about it? If you say that its pointless right at this point… tell me your story”.
It took some time for younger Matsui to react. It made no sense… but before she could stop herself she already started telling the story. The rest of the night was spent by telling Rena all of their stories. Atsuko and Minami situation. The reason why they decided to abduct Rena and needed this money so obligingly.
Matsui Jurina spoke more than ever before revealing all the secrets and somehow feeling relief, realizing that maybe that’s the only chance she will ever have to tell her life story along with deepest fears. The only chance she gets to show her weakness without expecting nothing in return.
One evening can take a lot of sorrow away if you speak your mind but life doesn’t end at one moment… even when you turn one page, you can’t avoid it and need to open next one.
New day started with the news from Takamina. Atsumina couple came back to the garage as soon as they found the short letter of Mayu to show it to Jurina as well.
It took them some time to understand what’s happening as Rena stood freely next to Jurina and smiled awkwardly unsure what to say.
Takamina and Atsuko would have probably started panicking and brought Jurina with themselves to question ‘what the hell is happening’ if not the current situation that worried them more.
After reading Mayu’s message Jurina realized what Watanabe might do in this situation. After Atsuko told everyone the truth that Mayu actually trained and were quite good with programming Jurina also found the address where her comrade will go.
She aimed for the highest… Itano Tomomi…
Knowing Mayu best Jurina realized that she won’t go there empty handed. They had bombs hidden away for an emergency, they had guns as well. Mayu certainly took everything with herself.
Without consideration Matsui already put on her jacket, wondering if she might be too late already “I’m going after her…”
Takamina and Atsuko wanted to go too but Jurina’s decision was the final one. There’s no way she’s taking either one of them.
Surprisingly when all of a sudden Rena announced that she’s going with younger Matsui and not taking ‘No’ for an answer Jurina nod her head shortly.
She can control her comrades but there’s no way how she could do the same with Rena. After all, this is finally the culmination of their story.