After considering several people advise I decided to start a new topic exclusively for my one-shots. This way I would be able to check on it easier. It will also be more distinguishable 
- Then - Shiraishi Mai x Nishino Nanase [scroll below]
- New Year's Eve - Shiraishi Mai X Nishino Nanase Click here
- Finding Your Happiness - Sakurai Reika X Shiraishi Mai Click here
- Morning Blues - Takayama Kazuya (Male) X Shiraishi Mai Click here
- Out Love is Maple Coloured [3 Parts] - Shiraishi Mai X Nishino Nanase, side pair Wakatsuki Yumi X Sakurai Reika Click here
- The Art of Lying [4 Parts] - Shiraishi Mai X nishino Nanase Click here
- Tender Days - Shiraishi Mai X nishino Nanase Click here
- Alone - Shiraishi Mai X nishino Nanase Click here
So without a further ado, here is the first one
Then
Then, Nishino Nanase found the answer to her question.She has never heard music in her life, could only imagine how beautiful it must be with all the note forming up a harmony. She used to ask her parents a lot about it, how does it sound like? And they would try to explain as much as they can, but their explanation is never enough for her as it will only make her brain work to form another question. In the end, she realised she will never fully comprehend it because it’s something that people hear instead of see.
However, dance is different, it’s not meant to be heard, but instead, it’s meant to be seen. Every single step, twirl, and emotion of a dance deliver the meaning of music to Nishino’s spectating eyes.
And just like that, she had found the answer that she has been asking for several almost entire years in her life of silence.
When it comes to a song she could only imagine how beautiful the music is, but she doesn’t have to do that when it comes to a dance. Nishino found herself fascinated as she started to get interested in watching more TV shows with a dance in it, as she saves her money to watch performances, as she started to notice that near her home there’s a place where some girls often gather to practice their moves.
Never in her life, she had even dared to hope that one day she would be able to join them.
Yet somehow she did.
Then, Nishino Nanase made some friends.It wasn’t easy. Even though she goes to the school for the deaf where she is surrounded with people going through the same thing, she has never found herself fit to continue a conversation, in the end, people only talk to her when it comes to school stuff and maybe just for a quick greeting.
To make it even worse, her parents had even specially asked someone to be her friend. For a moment that happened without her awareness until the day she found out that the reason for the friend huge collection of sneakers is a thank you gifts from Nishino’s very own mother.
After that Nishino pretty much have her guard up all the time, mostly feeling bothered whenever someone tries to get to know her, afraid that in the end, the person’s reason is exactly what she has in mind.
Nevertheless, the girls from Nogizaka dance club are different. They are not even people with disabilities, just a bunch of normal teenagers having fun while trying to work their way to win a dance competition. Yet they genuinely welcome her with an open arm, despite how it could hinder them from winning.
She has never forgotten the day where Shiraishi Mai- the group most beloved person tried to approach her when she was trying to put the girl’s dance move into sketches. It was so sudden that she abruptly closed her sketch book and took few steps away.
She has always remembered how Shiraishi’s eyes were widened as she was taken aback by Nishino’s way of communicating with gestures. Knowing that it might just add more into the awkward tension if she continues, Nishino gave the girl a weak smile before turning on her back and walk away.
She had wondered if the girl still tried to call her after that, it wouldn’t be surprising if she did remembering that Shiraishi is not exactly the smartest person in the earth and Nishino couldn’t blame her either. Yet somehow her failing to understand that she wouldn’t be able to hear her calls is one of the reasons Nishino likes her a lot.
Usually, normal people tried not to bother themselves with her, totally understandable since they will actually need to use sign language to communicate, which is something that people normally can’t do and even Nishino realise how bothersome it is to learn that when you could say something out loud.
However, they are different. None of them knows any sign language before yet they tried to learn that. They genuinely want to be Nishino’s friend. Little by little she started to get to know them better.
Nogizaka dance group has always treated Nishino like she’s normal. As if there’s no communication obstacle within them. It doesn’t take her long to be able to get along with them as she started to spend more and more time with them, even to the point of joining their dance practice and putting her name on the competition form, officially making her part of the group.
There wasn’t even a second where they give Nishino a look of disdain upon her incapability of following the music like everyone else. Not before her parents told her that they are moving to New York she look back and realises how much they mean to her.
They have just gotten to know each other in less than 2 months, but Nishino feels like she knows them better than those people who are already in the same class with her since she was young.
Nevertheless, she still doesn’t have the heart to tell her parents about her problem, she knows that her father wouldn’t even think twice to turn down the offer if it will make her happy, but she doesn’t want to do that.
Accepting that they will move doesn’t mean that she is not sad. The night when she decided that she’s going to follow her parents, she sent all the people in the group an email, saying how thankful she is for an opportunity to join them even if it’s just for short time, how she is happy that they have accepted them for what she is, how she is sorry that she wouldn’t be able to join the competition with them.
The next day she dropped by their dance studio, it was still empty as she was early but that’s exactly what she’s aiming for. She pranced around from several minutes before neatly put down her group t-shirt along with a message written in a letter that she put on top of it.
She decided to stop coming to the practice, considering that she would never be able to come to the competition anyway so if she comes all she would ever do is to be another burden.
However, this doesn’t seem to stop them, every day even sometimes twice a day they would come to her house, asking her to hang out together.
There’s nothing that she wants more than to say yes. However, she realizes that it will only make her heart ache more, giving her a second thought about her decision.
So, Nishino Nanase waves her hand in rejection, leaving them with disappointment as they left her house.
She didn’t cry until the night before the competition. As if the weather reflects her gloomy heart, it was raining that night and she tried to keep her mind busy by doodling in her sketchbook. That’s when she realises that she has received a message in her phone. It was a short one from Ikuta saying that she needs to look outside.
Nishino stood up from where she was sitting and opened her balcony door. Her eyes widened when she sees the white shirt that she designed together with Shiraishi, hanging on a tall pole which escalated from the ground beneath her. She looks down and found three of her closest friend there waving their hands as if standing there wouldn’t get her attention.
“What’s wrong?” Hashimoto Nanami asked in a sign language, her short hair seems to blend with the dark jacket that she’s wearing. Again, Ikuta pushed the pole a little bit towards the balcony, urging her to take the white shirt stuck on it.
However, Nishino shook her head with an apologetic smile as she gently pushed the pole away.
“I’m not going to compete,” She gestured, hoping that it’d be enough to make them turn their back and go home. From above she could see Hashimoto was looking at Shiraishi who in turn gives her a troubled look as her mouth moved to say something. From her eyes, Nishino could tell that there are a lot of things the girl wants to talk about, however, since she is in covering Ikuta’s with umbrella there’s not much she can do.
“That doesn’t matter. This is still yours.”Again, Nishino shook her head, while holding back her tears she signed,
“good luck with the competition. Goodbye.”After that she decided to come back inside, she doesn’t want them to see her cry, she doesn’t want them to be worried about her. She had thought to go back to doodling but she realised that there’s nothing she wants to do more than curled up on her bed and cry.
So she did.
Then, Nishino Nanase found out she is in love.To tell the truth, she doesn’t even know when did it start, but once she realises she has fallen in love with her. She wasn’t just observing her to copy the dance move anymore, she wasn’t just simply admire her, there was more to that.
She had started to notice some little things about the other girl, how after their first encounter the girl always tried to avoid touching her shoulder to get her attention. How much she’s actually struggling to learn the sign language, yet always tried to do her best on it. How it seems like her eyes are sparkling to reflect the night sky on each evening after their practice. How she always offered to walk her home after their practice.
Quickly the time that they spent together grow bigger and bigger each day, when before they only hang out in practice and a little bit after that, now has become almost every single minute where they have nothing else to do. They even texted until late at night, something that is unusual for Nishino since she usually avoid phone as she is not able to hear the notification sound when a text is coming.
Shiraishi Mai. Nishino has always wonder how her name will sounds, for she had never heard anything in her entire life. It’s amazing how the sound of one person name has become something she long for, she could even say that she wants to hear it as much as she wants to hear the music.
One day, after they finished their practice and was walking side by side, they were having one of their meaningless talk about a lot of stuff and they have gotten to the topic where Shiraishi is started to elaborate on her dream.
“When- I was young I used to dream of being a singer,” she signed.
Nishino raised her eyebrows, wasn’t expecting that to be her wish,
“What made you change your mind?”Shiraishi gives her a look before taking out the little book of sign language dictionary that she has been carrying around in her pocket. She opened several pages flipping it back and forth for twice before continuing,
“I took vocal classes. Realised that I’m not good.”“How so?”“There are people,” Shiraishi halted after that and opened her dictionary once more,
“people better than me. Have no chance.”Nishino was lost in thought, she wanted to convey that maybe it’s not true. However, it’s meaningless because she has never heard people voice in her life before. Still, there is one thing that she wants the other girl to know,
“I don’t know about other people, but I believe you have a beautiful voice.”She only realized how embarrassing that was after she finished. However, Shiraishi looked at her in confusion,
“Sorry. I didn’t catch what you were saying? Other people what?”Nishino contemplates whether she should try to explain it or not and decided to do the latter by simply shook her head and gave the other girl a ‘nevermind’ sign, earning a look of curiosity from the other girl. Thankfully she decided to let it go and averted the topic to something else.
About two days after that the group had asked her to design the shirt for them to wear at the competition. Nishino was surprised and wanted to reject the offer because she has never done such thing before, while it’s true that she likes to draw but this kind of design is not something light. However, Shiraishi’s hand reach her shoulder, while her other hand signing her support on the matter.
To think about it that’s unfair, while it’s hard enough to not fall into the other girl’s hopeful look there’s no way Nishino will have the heart to turn down that girl. So, after several seconds of silence with everyone looking at her with a face full of expectation she nodded. This soon followed by a bright smile on everyone in the room as if she’s their saviour.
It’s not until she was walking home with Shiraishi she finally managed to admit that she still has no idea on what to put for their shirt design.
She had expected the girl to get mad at her for agreeing to such thing while having no idea what to do, or at least she had expected the girl to look at her in disappointment. None of it happened.
Instead, Shiraishi looks up towards the early evening sky, seemingly lost in thought. Several minutes later she signed,
“I have no idea either but I want to help.”Somehow that ended up into Shiraishi visiting her place. She had no idea how long has it been since she had a friend over, not to mention it was abrupt, even her mother was surprised though seem so happy that she managed to bring a friend over. The woman excitedly talked to Shiraishi, which kind of bothered Nishino because she couldn’t hear nor understand any of their voice based conversation.
In the end, she dragged Shiraishi into her room as she told her mother that the older girl came to work on their design project instead of normal chit-chat.
So, there they were, sitting side by side, trying to came-up for an idea. Nonetheless, two hours have passed and the only thing Nishino has done is realising how the other girl is not exactly a good painter. Which she somehow finds as cute, since the girl doesn’t seem to be bothered with it at all and still excitedly doodling her weird ideas and shown every single thing to her.
Then Nishino realises maybe they need to approach the concept another way, instead of thinking what a good symbolism for their group she needs to think about what describes their group the most. She asked Shiraishi about this and the girl seems to realised it as well.
What describes their group the most? What makes it special for Nishino? This group is the first one who will extend their hand to her, accepting her for what she is.
Nishino started doodling.
It doesn’t even take her 15 minutes to finish it, a clean drawing of two hands holding each other. She shown it to Shiraishi, who looks at it in pure delight, she wasn’t even started to explain the meaning yet for the girl to approve it with her two thumbs up. Deep down she knows that without needing the explanation Shiraishi understands well what the design is trying to convey.
She remembers how heavy she felt when she realised that it was time for the older girl to go home, back then there was nothing else she wanted more than to ask her to stay the night, however, she knows that the other girl needs to rest well, so she bid her farewell. However, before she left Shiraishi asked her whether she has plans for that weekend and invite her for a day out. Of course, Nishino nodded in the excitement which got a smile out of the other girl before she gestured the second ‘see you’ and left.
Happily, Nishino marked her wall calendar, grinning as she drawn a little heart symbol beside the future plan. After that she observed the calendar, wondering when did she start to get an idea to draw little heart whenever Shiraishi asked her to go out, something that she couldn’t recall.
Two days after that, their shirts are finished, all the girls in the group seem to be happy with her work as they couldn’t stop praising her with a look full of gratefulness. Shiraishi raised one of her hand, a signal for Nishino to do a high five with her. And with a wide smile she did.
Time seems to pass quickly until the day where Shiraishi had asked to hang out with her. However, unlike how they usually did it this time the girl had actually come to her house to pick her up. She could imagine how her face grown red when she opened the door and find the girl there looking as beautiful as always with a plain white t-shirt that has some words on it tucked into her long colourful skirt, a pitch-black choker necklace contrasting her white skin and a dark leather jacket to finish the look.
Before that time, she had only seen the girl tied her hair in a ponytail on dance practice, but this time she did it.
Seeing how she has been staring for minutes Shiraishi started to look on her attire in confusion, thinking that she might wear something wrong. Nishino stopped her and signed,
“you look beautiful.”The other girl blushed as she tried not to look away in embarrassment, she politely looks past her to where her mother is standing and seems to be asking for her permission before the latter nodded and Shiraishi cheerfully gestured
“let’s go.”They went to the city, going from one café to another as Shiraishi cheerfully shown her favourite place in the area. It’s not until few hours passed when Nishino realised that it’s the first time they have ever truly gone out just for the two of them. Usually, there is someone else from their group, but this time it’s only her and Shiraishi.
Does it mean that this outing is different? Does it mean that this is a real date?
Think about it, right now after the 3rd café that they went they decided to take a stroll along one of the parks in the city, gazing at the fallen leaves of autumn filling the pathways. Shiraishi had spent some penny on pigeon food and now on the lookout to spot some of them.
The activity is one of her favourite thing to do whenever she went to the park with her family, she thinks that they’re cute, the pigeons, especially the fat ones. That’s probably why until this day she had never actually spent more time observing the person who’s feeding the birds instead of the actual birds.
With a smile that rarely leaves her face throughout the whole day, Shiraishi scattered the pigeon's food around the ground and watch excitedly as the pigeons started to flock to eat them. She offered Nishino to feed the birds too, which of course she did and ended up getting occupied by the pack of birds, they quickly dispersed once the foods are gone but then Nishino noticed that Shiraishi has been using her phone camera to keep the interaction in memory.
“I’m sorry. Are you mad?” She signed quickly as soon as she realises that Nishino has been paying attention to her activity. However, Nishino shook her head, trying not to blush from the thought of Shiraishi keeping her picture in the phone.
Shiraishi again motioned something that could be read as two and camera, however, Nishino failed to grasp the meaning. The girl frowned a bit as she tried to think of another way to convey what’s on her mind, and ended up pointing at her, herself and the camera of the phone.
“Take a picture together? Sure,” Nishino gestured as the girl come closer to her, to the point of breaching her normally personal space. They were just done checking every picture that she took after it’s done, assuring that everything looks good for her to keep when Shiraishi suddenly took her right hand in hers.
Her mouth moved to say something before halfway stopped upon realising that Nishino doesn’t understand anything. Then she let go of her hand as she pointed at herself and then Nishino.
“I – love – you,” she signed as her mouth moving along with her movement, Nishino was still shocked from the sudden development of situation could only stare in silence. Shiraishi take this as her cue to explain further,
“more than a friend.”That was the first confession Nishino Nanase has ever received and she felt nothing but confusion, what should she say next? Should she tell her that she actually love her too? But what will come after that? Will someone like her enough for Shiraishi?
Before her mind could formulate the best answer Shiraishi did another gesture,
“you don’t need to say anything. I just want to let you know.”Nishino feels devastated as she actually wanted to say something. However, she could understand if the girl doesn’t want an answer, perhaps deep down she is also scared of what might happen if Nishino had actually answered.
Shiraishi smiled sadly, despite of how she had prevent her to answer disappointment is still clearly prominent in her features,
“Do you want to go home now?”That’s more of a statement than a question because without hearing her answer that’s where their foot is leading them to and none of them had the courage to change their mind about it. Nishino gaze downward to the pavement, suddenly feeling cold because Shiraishi seems to be keeping their distance farther than she usually does.
The same thing happened when they’re riding the train back. Since it was crowded Shiraishi give Nishino the only chair left as she stood a few feet away from her even though the standing space next to her is available.
Not until they finally stood in front of her house, both wondering how did the day go wrong that Shiraishi finally motioned something to her.
“Sorry, for what happened. It was a nice day.”Nishino shook her head, realising how wrong the situation is, Shiraishi doesn’t need to feel sorry at all. If anything it’s her who should be sorry for making the situation awkward.
“I have fun. I really do,” she gestured as her lips curled into a smile, she hesitated for a moment, her hands hanging in front of her as she struggled with herself to let out what’s in her mind or not. Then she took a deep breath before taking a step forward, quickly getting closer before finally engulfing the other girl in a tight hug.
The girl’s leather jacket feels strange and cold on her skin. However, once the girl finally dared to raise her arms and hug her back it feels like there’s nothing compares to this, as if this is meant to be. As if their body is meant to be this close to each other.
Nishino felt nothing but disappointment when the girl started to move away from her touch, however, she wasn’t even able to use her hand to voice her dissatisfaction when the older girl caresses her cheek with her soft white skin and close the distance between their lips until there’s nothing separate them at all.
The way Shiraishi clashed her lips onto hers was rough despite the softness of her lips and a careful touch of her hand on her cheek. It tastes a little bit like strawberry, probably from the expensive looking lip gloss the girl has that she had seen a couple of times. She had no idea how many seconds have passed and Shiraishi's lips is still not leaving hers and in every second passed the more forceful and demanding the girl has become.
Suddenly the girl jolted back and took a step back from her, leaving Nishino fazed from what just happened. Her finger finds their way up to touch the lips that have been touched by the girl’s lips merely a second ago. Shiraishi expression was unreadable, not because she couldn’t find the meaning of it but because it is showing so many emotions at once. Happiness, warmth, sadness, regrets, is not even enough to describe her interpretation of the other girl expression.
“Your mother,” she motioned and pointed to the door behind Nishino. Nishino’s eyes widened as her brain hoping that her mom wasn’t there when the kiss had happened, the last thing she wanted is to trouble Shiraishi by having her mom started to interrogate the girl.
Nishino looks behind her and found her mom moving her mouth, the expression seems as friendly as always, a good sign that she didn’t witness the occurrence a few seconds ago. Shiraishi bowed politely to the older woman as her expression is back to her normally composed one and started to speak, their conversation didn’t last long as Shiraishi shook her head and bowed once more. She gave Nishino a polite apologetic smile before motioning a simple
“see you later.”It’s not before she went inside with her mom closing the door behind her as she took off her shoes she realises that it was her first kiss. Again, her finger went up to touch her lips, wondering if it is swollen because the numbness that she’s currently experiencing. She went straight to the toilet to check it and find that it looks normal. She exhaled as she splashed some cold water onto her face, hoping that it’d help her to get a grip of herself.
That night, she had checked her phone every 5 minutes, hoping that Shiraishi had sent her a text. However, there’s none. The girl was also not responding to the discussion on the group, which is unusual for her. Nishino wondered if she should send her a text to check up on her and ended up going against it and opt to change into their group new shirt and started to practise their dance.
That was the time when both of her parents suddenly came into her room, both looking more excited and happy than always. Her mom with a wide smile on her lips motioned,
“we have a good news to tell you.”
Nishino raised her eyebrows in confusion, her brain couldn’t form a possible outcome of the situation. Seemingly impatient to wait for her to guess her father finally gave in and excitedly gestured,
“we are moving to New York!”
New York is their dream, it is where her father would be able to get a better income and work at the division that he has been pursuing for years. It is where her mother has been planning to open a restaurant, with a money that she has been saving for years even back to the days when she wasn’t born yet. It is also where she- Nishino Nanase will be able to pursue a better education for her interest in arts.
If this were to happen 2 months ago, she’d be jumping up and down in delight. However, things have taken a turn to a different path. She couldn’t even feel happy anymore as if she had somewhere thrown that dream of her away. While faking a smile, she started to move her hand,
“when are we going?”“On 26,” her mom replied,
“this month, 26.”As if the situation couldn’t turn even worse it is exactly the date where the dance competition will commence.
She couldn’t really remember what kind of conversation she had with her parents afterward. However, she remembered that after they finally left her room, she went to the other side to cross the word ‘competition’ from her wall calendar and put ‘move to NY’ on it.
She remembered muffling her own cries with her pillow because she knows that her crying could easily be identified and heard and she doesn’t want her parents to finds out about that. She remembered crying herself to sleep after she sent every member of the group an email of her resignation from the competition and the group altogether.
She didn’t bother to reply all the questions that they asked about their sudden leave, but she read them one by one, her heart feeling warm upon noticing that they actually care about her. On the next day, she left her shirt on the dance studio, thinking that maybe they will be able to find someone else who is interested in filling her position.
From that day forward they have been trying to visit her at home. She was lucky that her mother was too busy to prepare themselves to move that she didn’t really notice how she always turn them down every time they had come and demanded some answers.
However, not until that night she had ever seen Shiraishi Mai again. The girl is actually the only one who didn’t reply anything upon her resignation statement, she is also the only one who didn’t come to her house and demand answers.
And suddenly she was there. Standing beneath the umbrella, under the rain, looking at her with a troubled expression as she let Hashimoto do all the conversation with her. Nishino had actually expected the girl to step up and try to strike a conversation with her because it looks like she really wants to do so when Nishino refuses Hashimoto attempt to get her take back her shirt.
But she never did.
Once they finally turn they back and started to walk back, Nishino had also gone back inside, she had finally given in to tears as they started to well beneath her eyes.
It hurts.
Her silence hurts her so much yet she doesn’t even know what does she want from the girl. Wasn’t she the one who was reluctant from the first place? Was she the one who hurt her first from not responding upon her confession? Why it seems like she could feel nothing but regret, even though it will even hurt them more if they had ever actually gotten together and got caught up in the situation she is in now.
After curling up on her bed and cried for some period of time, she went to the bathroom, trying to wash her face out of any sign that tears were there, trying to give herself a smile to assure her that it was the best for both of them.
Pathetic is the best word to describe how she feels toward herself by then.
She was thinking to go to sleep as soon as possible when she notices that her phone screen has been flashing. She refused to even check what is it about and crawl into her bed instead, but after about an hour being wide awake with her mind nowhere but her phone she realised that reading it would probably be the best.
Turns out for the first time after their bittersweet date she had finally gotten a message from Shiraishi Mai. Not one but five.
I need to tell you something.
I’m outside.
Can we please talk for a moment?
Nanase?
It doesn’t matter how long it took, I will wait here. Take your time.
Nishino looks outside where the rain had actually gotten worse from the last time she was on the balcony, without thinking more she stood up and started to run the opposite way from where the balcony is, coming out from her bedroom and down the stairs. Swiftly she snatched the door keys from the hanger and an umbrella, trying to work as quickly as she can to open the door that would lead her outside.
As if the glass of her balcony door was playing trick with her eyes the rain was actually heavier than what she thinks she saw just a few second ago, the strong wind kind of makes it impossible to stay dry despite the umbrella. And in the middle of her front yard, exactly where she was with her two other friends about three hours ago, the girl was standing as she looks up to where Nishino’s room is.
She wasn’t even sure that the girl had already noticed her presence when she grabbed her freezing arm and guide her inside. She can feel the girl shaking as she guides her upstairs to where her room is, not even bother to make a conversation with her as she realises that it can wait.
Once they’re finally inside her room, Nishino opened one box that is filled with all the clothing and stuff that they will leave in Japan, quickly grabbed a towel and a set of fresh clothes for the other girl.
Shiraishi was looking down to the floor when Nishino tried to give her the clothes, her hands hugging herself in an attempt to keep some warm for her body. However, instead of taking the clothes, her shaking hands started to move in a motion,
“I am sorry.”Nishino shook her head, feeling that she doesn’t need the apology since it wasn’t Shiraishi’s fault. She held out the clothes, silently half-forcing the girl to take it. After several seconds Shiraishi gave in and take the clothes as Nishino stood up and motioned that she is going to go downstairs for a moment to give Shiraishi a space to change.
She decided to make the girl a hot chocolate and as she waited for the water to boiled she wondered about how long the girl has been standing there in the rain, she felt nothing but terrible for refusing to read the message earlier.
Once she’s back upstairs the girl has changed into one of her old hoodie and jogging pants which she thought is going to be helpful enough to restore the girl body heat, she sat curled up near the balcony, quickly wiped the tears from her eyes upon noticing her coming from the door.
Nishino hands her the warm glass and carefully observe as the girl signed a thank you and took a sip of it, noticing how the bag under her eyes are swollen red from crying as she tried her best to control her shaking to steady her grip on the glass.
“It is not your fault,” Nishino motioned once the girl finally dared to look up onto her long enough,
“I am moving to New York tomorrow. That’s why I left.”The girl furrowed her eyebrows probably finding difficulties on matching the words she just signed with what she has learned and remembered. Realising this Nishino came up with easier way to explain, she grabbed her phone from her desk and started to type, making sure she already explained clearly before showing the screen to Shiraishi.
My family is moving to New York tomorrow. That’s why I can’t join you in the competition. It is not your fault, it never was. If anything, I’m in love with you too.A part of Nishino feel sad that she had told the girl about how she felt only with words typed in a phone, while it’s true that it is impossible for her to say it out loud, she had wanted to tell her without any help from a device.
Shiraishi looked at her in disbelieves, she seemed not to realise the tears that have start to run through her cheek once more, Nishino gave her an assuring smile and reach out her hand to wipe the girl’s tears,
“I don’t want you to be sad.”She knows that is really selfish knowing that herself is also really sad. However, she couldn’t stand to see the older girl hurting. The tears that she shed makes it harder for her to stop herself from crying in front of the girl.
Nishino Nanase is a weak girl who cried easily, but when it comes to Shiraishi Mai, she doesn’t want to do so, she wants her to be able to lean on her, she wants to be strong as she knows that the girl has always been the one who tried to stand strong. So, she took a deep breath and shook the tears away.
Somehow, she found a courage to come closer and gave the other girl a chaste kiss on where the tears were. This somehow had only made it worse. She wiped the tears again before hugging Shiraishi, letting her press her forehead onto her collarbones. Her fingers gently pat the girl back, sometimes brushing into the girl hair which is still wet from the rain.
Nishino has always loved reading manga. In some of the stories, a person would try to comfort the other when they’re crying by giving them a hug, letting them cry out as they voice out how it is going to be okay.
All Nishino could do is the former two.
Not before that moment, her disability has ever caused her so much pain. As she let the girl let out her sadness, Nishino wonder about the time and she suddenly realise that Shiraishi has a competition in the morning. The girl needs as much rest as she can to be able to give the best performance, all of this crying and shivering because of the rain could make her caught a cold.
Nishino pulled away from their hug, her hands that were on the girls back raised up to the damp towel on her shoulder, pulling it up so it covers the girl hair before she gently caresses the hair with it. As her hands work to dry the girl's hair, Shiraishi grabbed the mug beside her once more and took a sip, for a moment Nishino halted, making sure the girl is okay before continuing.
Both of her hands were on either side of the girl’s head, softly she wiped a strand of stray hair away revealing the girl’s face. Even when her eyes are puffy and red from crying, her nose is runny, hair half dried and messy, Shiraishi Mai is still beautiful Nishino smiled upon realising this as Shiraishi after a moment dared to look at her seemingly confused when she noticed the smile on her lips.
In that moment, Nishino suddenly got the urge to kiss her.
So, she did.
Their second kiss is different from their first kiss. Perhaps because Nishino is the one who initiates this one, she came closer slowly, stopped when they were just a few inches away from each other, her vision wandered around Shiraishi's lips for a second before moving up to meet her eyes, as if she’s asking for a permission. After locking eyes with each other for the time that seems like an eternity, she finally leaned forward, pressing her lips onto Shiraishi’s softly, despite her crying tremble slowly Shiraishi kissed her back, unlike their first kiss, this time she’s more gentle and patient. As if the Nishino can break if she put too much force.
Their second kiss is not exactly how Nishino always imagine a kiss would be, the kiss is much better than that, empowering the subtle taste of Shiraishi’s lip gloss is a strong taste of chocolate feeling her senses, both of them were careful as they try to make it last as long as possible, only taking a break to fill their lungs with air every now and then.
She could feel Shiraishi's mouth curled upwards as the girl raised both of her hands to cup her face, pulling her closer to deepen their kiss.
Their kiss is similar to their dance, each of them doing their part without the need to battle the others, lips and tongue moving as if there’s a harmony that directs them. While it last, it feels like an eternity but once it’s done it feels like a second hasn’t even passed. Shiraishi wipes Nishino’s bangs aside and moves up to kiss her forehead, letting her lips stay there for a while before finally let her go.
“I don’t want to leave you.” She motioned to Nishino, her eyes wandered to the rainy sky outside. Nishino realises that the girl will have to go home in heavy rain and decided that it’s best if she stays for the night. There will be a couple of hours to spare in the morning before she has to go to the competition and that might be enough for her to go back home and prepare.
“Stay,” Nishino moved her hand to tell her and Shiraishi didn’t seem to think twice before nodding.
Because of her house situation it is not possible for her to prepare the girl the guest futon as it is probably somewhere inside one of the big boxes in the living room that is not meant to be opened anymore. There’s no way Nishino would let the girl sleep on the floor so the only choice is her bed which is quite big for a single bed so it shouldn’t be a problem.
It’s good thing is that Shiraishi didn’t question her as she leads her to the bed patting the empty space beside her as a signal for her to use. Nishino pull up the blanket for both of them, making sure that it should be warm enough for Shiraishi who was just out in the rain and still shivering every now and then.
They lay down facing each other. Nishino wonders if they would ever do this again sometime later, even the chance for them to reunite is low. Nishino scooted closer and once she is sure that the girl is okay with it she presses her forehead onto Shiraishi’s shoulder, in return, the girl kiss her forehead as if to assure her she doesn’t mind and circle her arm around her.
She remembered waking up and find herself still secured with Shiraishi’s arm spread across her waist, because of their position she could feel the girl stable breathing giving a serene feeling on their surrounding. It is so calm and peaceful that Nishino doesn’t feel like moving to check the time, however, she knows that the day is important for both of them, so gently she removed the girl’s arm and sit up to see the clock on the wall.
As if on cue her mother opened the room door and looks surprised to see another presence in the room, she smiled softly before gesturing,
“breakfast is ready, ask Shiraishi-san to come too.”Nishino nodded and the women close the door, perhaps the sounds were loud Shiraishi started to stir as well. For a moment, their eyes met before Nishino smiled as a good morning greeting, Shiraishi smiled back as her eyes moved to check the time.
“I need to go home now,” she motioned as she gets out from the bed and took her damp clothes that she had folded neatly on the desk, her smile has dispersed as she looks at her in sadness,
“what time are you going to leave the town?”“1 PM,” she answered, feeling sad as she remembers that there’s no way Shiraishi will be able to come to send her off. The group is going to perform at 12.30, once they’re done Nishino would already be leaving.
“It’s okay to take my clothes, yours is still damp,” Nishino added, earning a little smile from the girl as she stepped closer to her and gave her a quick hug.
Nothing else was exchanged between them as Shiraishi was rushing to go home, she can see the girl is worried that she’d be late to competition which is good because that’s what Nishino wants her to focus on more and once she has left Nishino went to the dining room and found her parents looking at her.
“Is Shiraishi-san going to join us?” her mom motioned.
Nishino shook her head and explained, “she has dance competition today.”
Their parents looks at each other before nodded and continue their breakfast, not before her father has finally finished what’s on his plate he asked her,
“are you ready to go?”Nishino nodded in return, hoping she would look convincing enough despite what how heavy her heart felt.
After that, they started to get ready and because she was really caught up with it her mind could actually leave the matter of competition and Shiraishi. It took them less than two hours to get everything ready and once her mind finally unoccupied with all the moving stuff it drifted back to the competition. She is already in the car. Her suitcase has been neatly packed and placed in the trunk along with some other boxes that they decided to bring with them instead of sending it with a courier. She wasn’t even paying attention when the car started to drive away, separating her from the house where she had grown up in.
It was about 15 minutes before they train arrived when she started to look back at the life that she will leave soon. She had regrets, a lot of them, however, she cherished every single bit of it. She tried not to tear up when she realised she hadn’t given a proper goodbye to her friends, the true friends she has been looking for in such a long time and once she finally gained them she lost them quickly. She hadn’t even bid a goodbye to Shiraishi, the girl was in a rush that she basically left with nothing but a smile and quick hug. In her mind, she somehow suspects that is what the girl intended, she tried to avoid shedding a tear from real goodbye.
She hadn’t even noticed that she had cried before the sensation of a drop of water running through her cheek hits her. Her mother pats her shoulder a couple of times, seemingly wanting to check up on her, Nishino wiped her tears quickly and return the woman gaze, the woman smiled softly and pointed behind.
Nishino turn back to see what her mother is trying to show her and catch the sight of her full groupmates standing just beside the station, Shiraishi stood in the centre a few step ahead than the others, shouting something that she, of course, couldn’t hear.
Her mother has walked to talk to the man who stood in the ticketing machine, after a moment the guy nodded and let the girls enter the station.
What comes afterward was pretty much a blur, she remembered seeing them running towards her and engulf her in a tight group hug, a lot of hands patted her back and shoulder, some even tried to give her a pat on the head which probably going to mess her hair.
It took them a few minutes before finally stepping back, all smiling at her.
The first thing Nishino mentioned is what she deemed the most trivial, it is the thing that supposed to hold them back from coming by now,
“what about the competition?”
“Our member is more important,” Hashimoto gestured in reply and nodded to Fukagawa who stood beside her, the older girl smiled and step forward, giving Nishino the thin shopping bag that she has been carrying. She took a peek to see what’s inside and could see a glimpse of a white shirt. Her shirt.
“Please accept that. No matter what you are still a member,” Ikuta gestured, making Nishino teared up in happiness as she nodded.
“I am sorry for not explaining this before. Thank you for coming, for everything. I’m glad to be able to join, even if it’s just for short time,” Nishino motioned, she wiped her tears once more before finishing her statement,
“Goodbye.”They are all nodded and motioned the same goodbye sign to her. Well, all but Shiraishi, the girl only look at her with eyes started to water. Knowing that it might be the time for her to say what she wanted to say she took a step forward and motioned.
“If you don’t mind. Someday I will come to find you.” She looked up for a second before continuing,
“I don’t want this to be our goodbye.”Nishino smiled and step closer, giving the girl one last long hug before stepping back albeit reluctant.
“Then, see you later,” she motioned with a smile, hoping that would be enough as she doesn’t want her to promise anything yet not wanting to turn her down too.
“See you later.”Deep down, somehow Nishino knows that the signs aren't just an empty word, she knows that Shiraishi will hold onto that. One day the girl will come again. And until then Nishino would cherish the short yet blissful moment they had together.
~Fin~
AN:I can't believe I actually manage to survive editing this whoaaaaa.
Anyway Hi there! as you can read from well what I have said in the heading, this is suppose to be a thread for my one-shots and what could be a better opener than that one music video that got me hooked into Nogizaka46, in the first single of them that I actually pay my attention to, starring my ultimate OTP in the group
Well actually this is supposed to be Naachan bday spesial fic, ahahahaha talk about being slow as hell, but yeah I've been having a rough week which in the end somehow everything works out pretty well and I decided to continue this well another reason being that I am hitting an amazingly thick wall on my other stories.
If you've been following my other stories you might realise that the formatting is a bit different than usual and assure you that's what I intend to do since in this story all the conversation is performed with a sign language instead of normal speaking, so I want to make it different to make it more impactful. The other thing that is different than usual is also striving for that "impactful" goal
I hope it will be able to reach you guys
It might be a bit messy because it is too long and I basically have reviewed this for like 5 times but somehow still unsure, so I'm really sorry. I also don't know how good this formatting would look in phone so we shall see how it goes and maybe if it's really annoying I would go back and rearrange some things. So please do leave your thoughts below as I really want to know them and thanks for reading, cheers
Topic: Nogizaka46 One-Shots || Blues of Love - Evening Blues [24/11/18] (Read 16456 times)