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Author Topic: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)  (Read 14794 times)

Offline sweeety

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #20 on: July 17, 2008, 08:30:27 AM »
ok, I don't know about you guys but I like to write to have fun and escape school and life and other annoying stuff.. But if fanfic writing is gonna turn into some sick type of school work then I don't think I wanna do it anymore.

 I quit
I have a porcupine called zazoom, he leaves his scent on peoples' graves.

Offline Sukoshi

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #21 on: July 17, 2008, 12:58:35 PM »
well I'm not sure I agree with the boot camp thing either but the lovely thing about it is it's all voluntary...

I'd hate to see individual writing styles be molded into someone else's style in an attempt to fit the expectations of your instructors...however other than that, Yuuyami and loser's hearts are certainly in the right place for trying to help! 

Boot camp will certain scare off some people but I seriously hope some writers will sign up for at least a bare minimum course in say...spell checking.

Offline lollipopgirl

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #22 on: July 17, 2008, 02:19:49 PM »
^ Yeah I enjoy the fact its voluntary... I think it's really great that Yuuyami and Loser are offering this to people who really want the help and already from the people saying "i'm in" it seems like a successful!

You can still have refined writing without messing too much with the writer's personal style so it should be fine.

But anyone who is scared off (like me) come to the back of the class and help me plan evil things :twisted:

And Yuuyami/Loser, you guys are like the Soup Nazi of H!P fanfic world... now every time I read something I keep checking on the characterization and detail yada yada yada of it :P

Offline sweeety

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #23 on: July 17, 2008, 04:10:03 PM »
* sits in the back of the class*
"Fine... but I'm not participating"

*Helps lolipopgirl with her evil plans*
I have a porcupine called zazoom, he leaves his scent on peoples' graves.

Offline Yuuyami

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #24 on: July 18, 2008, 05:03:16 AM »
Jafeijai! This one's for you! xDDDD Sorry for being late, we were caught up in some... things... xDDD

[23:02] MoMo: well reading Jafeijai, it doesn't look too bad

[23:02] MoMo: it looks pretty cute and decent

[23:02] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );;: Mm xD

[23:02] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );;: It's still just a prologue, but it's got potential xD

[23:03] MoMo: yea, I'll say~

[23:03] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );;: The only thing I'd recommend is to watch out for long paragraphs

[23:03] MoMo: yeah i see that, spread it out more.

[23:03] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );;: Line breaks are your friends xD

[23:03] MoMo: but other than that it's pretty cute

[23:03] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );;: Indeed xD

[23:03] MoMo: okay jafeijai is done lmao!

[23:04] Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );;: LOL xD

Offline cool_kickin_dude

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #25 on: July 18, 2008, 05:11:26 AM »
hey Yuuyami..did you guys get to read my chapter I put up? I know it's horrible :lol:

Loser87

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #26 on: July 18, 2008, 05:20:58 AM »
Okay here we go, for CKD!!

-------------------------------------------------------------

MoMo says:
okay, i just read CKD's..

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
All I see is dialogue xD

MoMo says:
1 - need a lot more detailed!
2 - its robotic in a way, not really feeling the hostility between Maki and Miki
3 - mmm the Miki seems out of her personality, seems a lot more sensitive...Usually, Miki is this badass who doesn't gives a shit about anyone but herself..so a little out of character...

MoMo says:
wow i had a lot of grammar errors in there >_>

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
xDDDD

MoMo says:
maybe I shouldn't eat while I type lmao

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
Of course you shouldn't xD

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
But hey, burning off finger calories while eating! 

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
Through typing

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
xD

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
Anywho xD

MoMo says:
lmao at the cost of my grammar XD

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
Yes xDDD

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
Don't do that when you write the next chapter of your fic, honey xD

MoMo says:
lmao XD

MoMo says:
anyway

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
The dialogue is uncreative

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
"Said" and "Asked" is all I see

MoMo says:
yeah, there's no...real setting

MoMo says:
so I can't visualize what's really happening

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
No narrowing of the eyes or glare to show off that hostility o_o

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
None at all D:

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
I see the words, but I need pictures

MoMo says:
and things seem to happen abruptly

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
so he needs to describe everything

MoMo says:
yeah

MoMo says:
description is really important here

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
"Don't interrupt me!" Miki's voice raised to anger as she fixed her patented death-glare upon Maki. "You are not going to hurt Yossie, you understand?"

MoMo says:
grammar check

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
It would have helped if the entire dialogue was like that too

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
Not just "words words words."

MoMo says:
yeah

MoMo says:
I also kind of have an issue with the grammar, it ruins the flow

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
It needs to be "words words words," she glared at the other with hatred. or something

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
Mmhmm

MoMo says:
"If anybody's hurt her, it's you," Maki said.

MoMo says:
it'd be better and it'd make more sense if it said "If anybody is going to hurt her, it'd be you"

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
And instead of "Maki said," it should really show her hostility

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
So she should be saying that with a low growl or something

MoMo says:
or a glare, some sort of action to show her hostility, yeah i agree

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
Mmhmm

MoMo says:
okay, yuuchan what's the final verdict on this?

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
My verdict is basically

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
CKD-kun, you really need to give us a motion picture with this.

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
You gave us a script

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
But there's no picture to accompany it

MoMo says:
yuppers, I totally agree, I just gotta add, Just run through a grammar check before posting a new chapter so that's our advice

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
Before you post this, I have another lame pun to make! D<

MoMo says:
more detail, grammar check, create us a motion picture and you should be fine

MoMo says:
>_>

MoMo says:
what lame pun...

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
-Ooki na Ai de Motenashite plays in the background-

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
-does the dance- OH YEAH OH YEAH

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
Okay, I'm done xD

MoMo says:
...........-bricks-

MoMo says:
<_<

MoMo says:
god you are so......LAME!

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
(    ¯v¯)

MoMo says:
......-bricks- don't be proud of it >_>

Lovely Yuuchan desu yo~ (  ¯ロ¯    );; says:
Q( ¯v¯    Q) Bring it.

MoMo says:
>_>...I'm posting...

Offline Yuuyami

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #27 on: July 18, 2008, 05:57:20 AM »
>_>

<_<






A Special Treat?



....<3

Offline lollipopgirl

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #28 on: July 18, 2008, 06:06:19 AM »
XD I can feel the love!

Offline JFC

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #29 on: July 18, 2008, 06:18:28 AM »
FANSERVICE! :rockon:


Question though...who did the licking and who did the bricking? :D

JPH!P :heart:'s Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline moo

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #30 on: July 18, 2008, 07:28:42 AM »
Im quiting lurking if theres a lot of fanservice XD...lol JK Nice drawing by the way  :lol:

Offline Aioros

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #31 on: July 18, 2008, 11:00:14 AM »
Question though...who did the licking and who did the bricking? :D

licking = Yuu, bricking = Loser87
:mon lurk:
* wordsworth exits classroom and gets back to holding pails in the corridor


WAR AKARI!!! Infernal Ninjutsu, Hidden Lore...Freedom of Opposites Technique!!! Rest in peace Kyle,Jab,Mom,Tita, ChrNo...

Offline jafeijai

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #32 on: July 18, 2008, 11:16:14 AM »
Jafeijai! This one's for you! xDDDD Sorry for being late, we were caught up in some... things... xDDD

[convo...]
Alright I'll keep that in mind whenever I find the time to keep going with this. ^.^;; Thanks a lot! At least I know I'm in the right direction =P Maybe I ought to post up the finished product some time...o.O

And that fanservice is quite amusing XD

Offline AmberSan

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #33 on: July 18, 2008, 11:30:50 AM »
LOL fanserviece ... me likes  :drool:
anyway... here's something i wrote.. well.. not entirely contented with it.. but here :
http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=16600.0

Offline slasha

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #34 on: July 19, 2008, 12:02:02 AM »
Thanks for the review of mine guys.When I reread it, I found stuff that even I didn't like.It's much better looking now in my opinion.

And thanks for the fanservice.That made my day.

PS I'm a boy just so you know.

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #35 on: July 19, 2008, 03:47:14 AM »
OOOOOO!!!! I wanna join! XD
I don't have anything new right now but if you could read some stuff in my thread.... :D

Offline poets

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #36 on: July 19, 2008, 11:23:17 PM »
*died laughing*
Rika <3 So funneh

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #37 on: July 20, 2008, 01:18:40 AM »
^
Excuse me? :lol:

Offline poets

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #38 on: July 20, 2008, 01:44:49 AM »
^
Excuse me? :lol:

*comes back to life*

Oh snap, sorry! I should've specified what I was laughing at. It was the comic that made me die laughing, gomen  :mon sweat:
Rika <3 So funneh

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: Writers Bootcamp! (YEA!)
« Reply #39 on: July 20, 2008, 04:23:28 AM »
I get it.. :lol: Sorry, I was just like :?

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