Hi guys this my first fanfic and I hope enjoy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Save Me
"Hey Yukirin, how are you doing?" I see Mayu giving Yuki a hug, greeting her as she walks in the room. Currently I'm in the dressing room in the studio because today AKB48 is having dance rehearsals.
"Jurina, are you ok?" Mayu asked me as I was too deep in thought to even notice that she had sat down beside me.
" h-huh? What, of course I'm o-okay." I tried to smile to help make my lie more convincing, but I don't think it is working. I can tell she wants to ask me more but decides against it and walks to Yuki so she can continue her conversation. What was I thinking about before? I remember now. I was thinking about last Friday. It was late at night and I was all alone in my room crying while trying to suppress my depression. I can't do it. I have to cut myself. I know it's not good, but I can't stop. It's the only way I can at least momentarily stop this pain. I guess your wondering how I got to this point. It all started a few months ago. I was the little puppy of SKE and AKB. The one that always tried to steal kisses from cute girls even if they didn't want one, but then I started thinking about wether I was needed. None of the other members needed me. I was just some spoiled brat that you would try to avoid contact with. I was just some stupid kid that tried to fit in even though I knew I couldn't. After that I wasn't the same person as I was before. I kept thinking about it which resulted in my mind to be plagued by darkness. I stopped smiling, I wasn't the same happy- go lucky girl that I was before. I was replaced by a girl who had nothing to live for. Thinking that nobody had loved her. I started drifting away from everyone, but the only one that seemed to notice was Mayu; the girl I loved. I started spending all of my time alone because nobody wanted to be around me. All of my close friends left me alone. Even me and Rena didn't spend any more time together. Both of us were so busy with our schedules we didn't have time to talk anymore. At that point is when no one cared about me and left me all alone.
I shake myself out of my thought and look around the room. I see all of the members talking to each other. Socializing and having fun talking about who knows what, but then I look around me and there is no one. Am I really not worthy of their time or to be included in their conversations? Do they really not notice I'm here anymore because they don't care about my presence? I can't take it anymore. I need to get out of here. I quickly grab my bag and leave. I don't care if anyone saw me leave. I know none of them care about me enough to try to follow me or ask where I'm going. But a certain someone noticed her quitely leaving the room and decided to follow her.
I run as fast as I can to the bathroom. I slam the door open and quickly walk to the sink. I turn the faucet on and start splashing water on my face. I can hear the voices in my head again.
"You are WORTHLESS. NOBODY wants you. They DON'T CARE about you. NO ONE loves you. YOU ARE BETTER OFF DEAD!" the voices in my head scream again and again.
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Please just make them stop, I can't take it anymore. Some one please save me." I yell but my voice starts to trail off as I slowly sink to the ground with my hands gripping my head. "You know what they are right. I'm better off dead." I said as I dig through my bag looking for the pocket knife I always keep with me just in case I need to cut and can't wait till I get home. Slowly I roll up my sleeve taking a moment to look at the scars that litter my forearm. I can feel the tears gathering in my eyes just threatening to spill. Hot tears make there way down my face as I start cutting my left wrist. At first it hurts, but soon the pain turns into relief. I keep cutting and cutting till all I can see is red. Then I do the same with my right. I can feel the blood seeping through my cuts. My arms feel like lead and I start feel dizzy from all the blood loss. Suddenly I hear the bathroom door slam open and a scream.
"HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! CALL AN AMBULANCE, PLEASE!" I hear someone scream I can't tell who it is but I can feel there hands holding me in a hug. I try to hug them back, but I can't lift my arms. I open my eyes and look towards the bathroom door. I can see the members looking at me with horrified expressions. Some of them are crying while others are still in shock at the scene they are witnessing. I hate seeing the members crying, especially because I'm the who caused them sadness. I look through the crowd searching for Mayu while I can faintly here people yelling in the background. That's when I notice it's Mayu that was holding me. She is the one that found me.
I gather up all of the strength that I can to reach my hand up to her crying face and caress her cheek. I feel like I'm about to pass out, but I need to tell her how I feel first. "Mayu, I love you so much. Don't ever forget that. The last thing I see is Mayu's tear streaked face as I close my eyes and feel myself slip out of consciousness and into a deep sleep.
*beep beep beep beep beep*
Ugh what is that annoying sound I'm trying to sleep. Slowly I open my eyes only the blinded by light. After I adjust to the brightness I look around the room and try to figure out where I am. Before I can figure it out I notice tubes and wires attached to me that are connected to machines. That explains all the annoying beeping. That's when I realize I'm in the hospital. If the machines, white walls, and medicine smell didn't indicate I was in a hospital I don't know what would. That's when I notice a figure sleeping at my side holding my hand. It's Mayu. My heart wrenches at the sight before me. You can see the trails of dried tears on her face and her eyes are puffy showing she's been crying for who knows how long. Slowly I untangle our hands, feeling a little saddened by the loss of warmth. I lift my hand to her face and softly caress her cheek. Suddenly her eyes flutter open and almost bulge out of her head as she sees me awake. She almost knocks me off the bed as she jumped on me and started hugging me as if I was going to disappear. I sit there startled for a minute but eventually hug her back as she sobs into my shoulder making my hospital gown wet with tears. I whisper sweet words in her ear and after a while she calms down and pulls back looking me in the eyes. I can see so many emotions flashing in her eyes. Concern, sadness, anger, and lastly love. "Mayu I-I ehh well.. uhh" I stumble across my words not knowing what to say.
"Jurina, why didn't you tell me" Mayu says softly. Stricken with guilt I try to avoid her gaze my eyes darting all around the looking at anything that is remotely interesting.
"I'm sorry you had to see me that way. I must be pretty pathetic right?" I smile bitterly at her as I try not to focus on the upset expression that has settled itself upon her angelic face.
"Jurina, why did you do it?" she ask me while her eyes bore into my soul.
"Why do you care anyway? It's not like I'm important to you or anyone else. You don't care about me, no one does. I'm just a nuisance, a pest, a disturbance. No one needs me. I'm just some worthless kid that no one lov-"
"SHUT UP!" She yells at me loudly. Interrupting what I was saying while staring at me with eyes filled with anger. "Don't ever say that anyone doesn't need you. I do. You are the most important person in the world to me. Do you not know how much I care about you? You mean everything to me. I was worried sick about you and still you say I don't care about you. I need you, please don't leave me. I don't know what I would do with out you." her voice slowly starts to trail off and into sobs. I try to comfort Mayu by hugging her hoping to calm her down.
After a while of sobs and silence I feel her breath on my ear as she ask me "Before, when you had told me you loved me. Did you mean it?"
I pull her face to mine so I can look her in the eyes " Mayu, you mean the world to me. You are my everything. You are the only reason I didn't try to kill myself sooner. I could never live without you. When you are gone it feels like a part of me is missing. You complete me in a way nobody else can. So, yes of course I meant it and I'll say it again. Mayu Watanabe, I love you". I say as I closed my eyes afraid of her reaction. The next thing I knew I feel this soft warmth on my lips and instantly my eyes snap open to see that Mayu is kissing me. The love of my life returns my feelings and kisses me. This has to be the happiest moment of my life. Slowly I start to kiss her back and after a few seconds she draws back only to look surprised as she sees the tears streaming down my face.
"Jurina, what wrongs?" She ask me with a hint of worry in her voice. I smile and look her in the eyes.
"This is just the happiest moment of my life" I tell her with joy. "Mayu Watanabe would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend" I ask her with a knowing expression.
"Of course I will" she responds with a grin and leans into kiss me once more only to have the door open right when our lips are about to meet.
Yuki and Rena walk in the room looking at us shocked.
"Uhh I-I'm are we interrupting. W-We can leave if you want us to." Rena stutters out as she try's to stop herself from blushing while Yuki just stands next to her with a silly grin on her face. Mayu pulls back hastily trying to hide her blush after getting caught. While I sit in the hospital bed with smile on my face that shows I couldn't be happier. Yuki and Rena walk over to my beside. Both of them give me a hug, but after they pull back Rena hits me on the head.
"I-Ittai! What was that for Rena, I thought you weren't supposed to hit people in the hospital." I tell ask her while I pout.
"That was for making all of us so worried. Don't ever do that again!" Rena tells me with an angry look on her face.
"I'm sorry guys and I promise I won't ever do something like that. Do you forgive me?" I ask her while giving her my puppy expression. I see her face soften and she starts to smile slowly. After that we all talked for a while just talking about whatever came to mind. Sadly Yuki and Rena had to leave due to the visiting hours being over but Mayu was able to stay stay with me.
"Mayu~ will you please sleep next to me." I ask her with a hopeful look on my face.
"Of course I will" she says as she lays down on the hospital bed snuggling in to my side. I wrap my arms her in a comfortable embrace as we start to get tired.
"Goodnight Mayu I love you"
"I love you too"
Slowly we both fall asleep in each other's warm embrace and in that very moment I know that everything is gonna be ok.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello everybody thanks for reading. This is my first fanfic so I hope it didn't suck to much. I hope you enjoyed and there will be more story's in the future so look forward to it. Should I write an epilogue and maybe a little smut. Please let me know. Bye bye
Topic: [Ne_okotteru's OS collection] #3 Mask (1/3/16) (Read 3720 times)