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Author Topic: The Chaos that Happens when the AKB48 Group Works in an Office (19/01/2016)  (Read 2304 times)

Offline nezukara

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A/N: I'm sorry. This fic is an abomination that may go on to become a series. I don't have much experience with comedy, but here you go anyways — the Office AU you never thought you needed.

Table of Contents
Part 1 - Below
--

A normal weekday is not a normal weekday in the AKB Kingdom for Yokoyama Yui without her usual cup of coffee. She smiles nonchalantly to herself as she strides into her office and glances at the broken clock in her wall.

"Hah!" She giggles. "That clock doesn't work. What clock in this place does?"

She quickly takes out her phone and checks the time. 6:00 AM, exactly an hour before she's actually supposed to be in the office. Just like normal.

She flicks on the impressive light display in the reception area (Jurina refused to use any lights that didn't "intimidate the guests into utter submission", whatever that meant...). Yui then settles down at her desk, sipping her coffee and waiting for the chaos to begin.

After all, a bunch of crazy idols and former idols were currently controlling about 3/4ths of the world. What could possibly go wrong?

So somehow, a Japanese idol group managed to take over the world. With their fearless (and absolutely batshit insane) leader, Jurina, leading them, the super smart (and super idiotic) team conquered about 3/4ths of the world (We never speak of the 1/4th that's left... We also never speak of any of the methods that were used to achieve this status of world power.)

Anyway, for the next half an hour, Yui will warm herself up, taking sips of her coffee and mentally preparing herself for the day. She'll leave herself a couple of motivational quotes on Post-it notes, but the only one that actually gets to her when she's riled up is "Love thy neighbor".

At 6:35, Miyuki would walk in with Sayaka, listening to the slightly older girl rant about how she thinks that Jurina is governing the world all wrong. Yet despite all of Sayaka's complaining, Miyuki never hears Sayanee say any solution to Jurina's supposed problems, so she tunes Sayanee out after a while.

At exactly 6:38, Atsuko, Yuko, and Takamina would enter the office, cracking up over a scandal some J-Pop group member would be having, and how they don't have to deal with it anymore (they've formed a graduated members club, which in reality, is just an excuse to go out on the clubs together. Rena was recently persuaded to join). Yuki, Mayu, and Haruna come in a minute later, silently sobbing about how one of their favorite J-Pop members are leaving their respective groups because of their respective scandals.

Once the clock hits 6:40, Sashihara, Kitarie, and Mariko stumble into the office area, drunkenly cracking up about something that they found on 4chan earlier that morning. The other girls roll their eyes at them. They had seen that picture the day before.

Then, Annin rushes into the office at 6:45, apologizing about how late she is, when in reality, she's 15 minutes early. When someone points out this fact to her, she quickly becomes grouchy and leaves to go continue counting how many sheets of paper there are in the supply closet. (The prior day, she left off somewhere around 723,901,678,283.4973 sheets.)

Finally, at 6:53 on the dot, Jurina strides in, humming to the tune of Anaconda by Nicki Minaj. Her girlfriend, Rena, is always mere step behind her. They're still holding hands, but it's clear who the dominant one in the relationship is. Yui issues a clear greeting to Jurina ("Good morning!") and mumbles the rest to Rena. After kissing her cheek, Jurina bids her temporary farewell, telling her "to have Godspeed on her current mission", when in truth, Rena's just creating more problems right next door to her. Then, Jurina goes off to her private CEO office after Yui tells her news about any stirring rebellions. She opens the iron clad door, enters the room, and shuts it with a SLAM.

The silence that follows always lasts exactly 4.3187 seconds (Yui counts mentally.)

After that, things go back to normal. From 6:55, all the other key members of AKB begin trickling in. Tomochin, Chiyuu, Paruru, Miichan, Haruppi, Sakura, etc.

By 7:00 practically everyone is present. Except...

It's 7:03 when Ricchan comes into the scene, two tennis balls under each of her arms.

"Sorry!" She pants, "I was too busy playing with my balls!"

No one knows how to reply to that...

Until the clock hits 7:11, and everyone groans because that's when the real havoc begins.

--

Barely half an hour has passed before Sasshi throws a paper ball into Miyuki's work cubicle.

"HEY!" Miyuki yells in a very Sayanee-like, Mayu-like, Yuki-like manner and thumps the wall of her cubicle, wheeling out of her private space indignantly while being careful not to break the divider again. (Jurina flipped shit when she and Sayanee had broken it a few weeks ago.)

"Oh where did it go?" Sasshi says with a shrug, "I swear it was just in my hand."

"Take your damn paper back." Miyuki says, chucking the paper ball back at Sasshi with less than perfect aim. It lands at Sasshi's feet, to Miyuki's dismay, who picks it up again.

"HEY!" Sasshi yells back with a perfect imitation of Miyuki before crossing her fingers. "Last one to touch it dumps it!"

Sakura hears Miyuki humph in annoyance and then, "Fine, take it Sakura", and then there's a soft thud on the back of her head.

Sakura swears her eye twitches before she nods meekly, "Fine..." And tosses the ball into her recycling bin without another word of complaint.

--

"Hello? ...Sorry to disappoint you, but no, I am not a sex hotline." Sayanee puts down the phone, before her eyebrows furrow and she re-dials the number.

Suspiciously, a phone somewhere else in the office begins ringing.

A familiar voice answers the phone, and the sound of muffled laughter can be heard.

"Hello?"

"Mariko-sama, we need to have a talk."

--

"Hey, Yoshida?" Miichan calls from her cubicle next to where Suda Akari was printing some papers.

At the mention of the NMB Akari's name, Dasu's eyebrow twitches in annoyance. "What is it, senpai?"

In the back of her mind, Dasu sends some prayers to Yoshida Akari, and silently questions whether she gets similar treatment or not.

"Geez," Miichan says, smirking at Dasu's forced, happy tone. "Someone obviously woke up in the wrong side of the bed this morning."

On Dasu's other side, Churi pokes her head up from behind the divider. "She's just mad that you didn't pronounce her name correctly. It's 'YoCHIdaaaaaaa...'"

"Oh, rightttttt. Hey, YoCHIdaaaaaaaaaa—"

"GODDAMNIT!" Dasu shrieks, "HOW MANY MORE TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT MY NAME IS 'SUDA' BEFORE I PUNCH YOU BETWEEN THE EYES?!?!?!?!?!"

Elsewhere in the office, a tall, model-like girl could be seen shaking her fist and baring her teeth to the ceiling. "Damn you, Jonichi Kei!"

A frightened Miichan quickly ducks back into her cubicle, while Churi continues laughing from her side, high-giving the snickering, cowardly Kaotan, who had remained safely hidden behind the divider throughout the whole exchange.

--

Yuria giggles happily, watching Annin continue to count the sheets of papers in the supply room. "Annin, do you enjoy counting the papers?"

"Yes." Annin replies, not even turning back to look at the other girl. "Now shhhh... I'm almost finished..."

Suddenly, the door to the supply closet opens, and Mayu and Paruru stride in. They go up to the current pile of papers that Annin is counting, and take two whole armfuls of the paper.

"Hey!" Annin cries, "What do you think you're doing?!"

"We need the paper to make propaganda posters and fliers to release when we fly the blimps over the many countries we're governing." Mayu explains from behind the armful of paper.

"And we have a LOT of citizens." Paruru adds.

Annin rolls her eyes, and turns back around to get back to counting, but when she is about to begin...

"DAMMIT YOU TWO! YOU GUYS MADE ME LOSE FRIKKIN COUNT NOW I NEED TO START ALL OVER AGAIN FUDGENUGGETS DAMN YOU!"

Mayu and Paruru flee with their lives while Yuria laughs her head off, watching Annin suddenly shrivel up into a little ball of Annin.

--

It's 10:39 AM when Chiyuu wheels into Tomochin's office space, spinning on the super-comfy spinny chairs, her laptop on her lap.

"Hey Tomo, Tomo, Tomo, Tomo!" The older girl says, spinning around the younger girl's workspace.

When Tomochin doesn't respond, she tries again. "Hey Tomo, Tomo! Why are the servers down, Tomo? Huh? Huh? Hu—"

"Leave. Now."

"But I need the servers working or I can't work... And Jurina's a scary kid..."

Tomochin frowned, finally looking at the annoying child. "Do I look like I care? I can't help you, Chiyuu. Anyways, I'm not the one you should be telling that to. Go ask Rena."

"But Tomoooooo—"

"I don't care. LEAVE. NOW."

"... Yes ma'am."

When she was left alone again, Tomochin smiled to herself and took out her self made router, made especially for situations like this when the company servers were down (which was often) and went back to watching Dance Moms.

--

"What, what, what?!" Mayu shouts as she scans the checkered board. "What the hell?! How does that even work?!" She searches the board frantically with her amateur eyes, trying to spot the mistake as Haruppi sweeps the the white queen off the board.

The HKT ace cackles, "I love being evil."

It's now lunch break and Mayu challenged Haruppi to a chess match in order to improve her skills, which was not going so well. She had just gotten owned.

"I don't understand." Mayu whimpers, "I had everything planned out and..." She helplessly watches Haruppi setting her black knight on the space Mayu's queen once stood. "How and why are you so good at this?"

"I played with Annin." Haruppi says with a shrug. "Though she sucks at teaching other things, she's pretty good at chess."

"I dunno..." Mayu says hesitantly. "Paruru and I pissed her off pretty bad earlier..."

Haruppi simply smirks and pats her on the back. "Oh, don't worry, I got you."

10 minutes later, Mayu finds herself facing Annin, staring intently at the board and god, it's so damn awkward.

"How does the castle move again?" Mayu asked awkwardly, flailing her arms around randomly.

Annin's eyebrow twitches dangerously.

"Here," she said, demonstrating to Mayu how to move the 'castle' for the nth time, and not evening bothering to correct her on the fact that it was a rook.

"Like this?!" Mayu yells, moving the rook in spastic motions all around the board, knocking off some of the other pieces.

And then, with a wild howl, Annin stands up and flips the chess board over, launching the remaining pieces onto Mayu.

--

It's only 2 in the afternoon when Kojiharu drunkenly rolls into Yuko's work area. She wheels in like a boss, moving her fist near her head in a cranking motion, her face completely red.

"Hey gurllllllllllllll! Wassup?" She smiles, seemingly speaking to the wall of the office.

"...NyanNyan?" Yuko says, looking up.

"Yes?"

"Are you drunk?"

"Uhhuh!"

"... Because you haven't played video games?"

"GURL, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT STRUGGLES I AM GOIN' THRU RITE NAO. ALL I NEEDED WAS A SHOULDAH TO LEAN OHN, BUT NOBODY AINT LIS'NIN' TA ME! BUT GURL, YA NO WAT? DATS ALL OKEYDOKEY! CUZ I AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN. AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DONT NEED NO MAN! I DUN NEED NO SHOULDAH! I'M GONNA BE A SOLDIAH! I JUST WANNA FEEL SUMTHIN' I DUN UNDERSTANDDDDDDDD—"

"... Get the hell out of my office before I do something I regret. You're too hot when you're drunk, NyanNyan. We'll settle this when we get home."

--

Working hours finally end, and at 7:15, the official quitting time, everyone simultaneously lets out a deep sigh of relief when they realized that they could finally get away from all the lunatics in the office.

The first to leave is Sayanee, who upon glancing at the time, jumps up from her office cubicle and sprints out of the office area, screaming, "SEEYA SUCKERS!" as she races away as fast as she can.

Ricchan is the next to leave, wanting to go play with her (tennis)balls. Annin follows her, afraid of what would happen if she left Ricchan alone. Then goes Renacchi, who says something about wanting to go to Chipotle before she goes home to rewatch Mean Girls, a movie that she's watched a few too many times.

Eventually, everyone leaves except the core, or senbatsu, members of the AKB Group. The remaining members always stay a bit later to say some bad extensive farewell. Sayanee always ends up returning because she never would pass up the opportunity to insult the rest of her frenemies.

"Sayanee, you suck." Yuria says as she, Dasu, and other Golden Age SKE members exit the office together, off to do something stupid and probably gay.

"Not as much as you." Sayanee replies, thinking of nothing else better to say. Beside her, Miyuki rolls her eyes and smacks her on the head before following the other girls.

The rest begin trickling out as well. Then Sayanee, realizing that she's going to be left alone, quickly turns to follow, making sure to trip Jurina on the way out the door. She quickly catches up to Miyuki, and they continue on their way hand-in-hand.

This leaves Yui to sigh and turn off the lights before joining the rest of the group. She makes a mental note to pour glue on Sayanee's seat the next office day.
« Last Edit: October 24, 2017, 01:57:43 PM by sophcaro »

Offline Keiyuu

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Re: The Chaos that Happens when the AKB48 Group Works in an Office
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2016, 05:15:58 AM »
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I CAN'T EVEN XD XD XD

I love your style and the flow of your fics, pure undulated brilliance :yep:
You know how when you're reading fics, and then there's this reference that you get, or some cute or hilarious remark that gets you laughing like an idiot? Well I love those. And you sir, have a lot of those in your fics. I can't get enough LOL

Just a few for examples:
Anaconda by Nicki Minaj
Dance Moms
Mean girls

And about the cute things I mean like in one of your OS's there's that part where Yuki's all like "When I started to see stars in your eyes, you became my world. When I started seeing you in the stars, you became my universe." CHEESY. Cheesy as hell. But I love it. I was squirming like a dork. It's like cheesy but it's deep too, and said in a different way that somehow makes it less cliche? Get what I mean? Sorry I'm commenting on that here but it's just something I happened to pick up on in your fics.

Anyways...

Jurina is the leader...she's the leader...Gawd how does that work?? LOL :nervous
I got a feeling I'm gonna love her character

And then there's freakin Annin and her counting the stock of papers. Like wtf  XD XD But then again, this whole story has me going WTF?! and laughing all at once. It's truly a work of art, so please continue haha :P *shrivels up into a little ball of Annin* hahahahahaha XD :P

Sayanee 'The Sex Hotline'. Laughed my ass off when she was all like: "Mariko-sama, we need to have a talk." Cuz trolling Mariko is just too good :grin: :yep:

Riichan playing with her fuzzy green balls... ;) Sorry, it's too much cuz I play tennis and we have overused that joke WAY too many times :nervous

Drunk Kojiharu. Too much, just too much for me to handle :w00t: XD XD XD :yep:
Especially Yuko's reaction GAWD :shocked LOL

And the overall interactions between them all?! What were you saying about not 'having much experience with comedy' Lol you're trollin me aren't ya? :lol:
It's so funny I'm like twitching in my seat, okay so no I'm not having a seizure but they're still funny as hell :grin:

They're all so offensive and annoying and just frickin crazy and I love it. And I don't love a lot of things. I also don't like to follow series before they finish, but I'll make an exception this time :roll:

The characters are all so crazy tho, pulling pranks and totally messing with each other. Making a mental note to pour glue on Sayanee's seat tomorrow  :banghead: XD :lol: It's a wonder how they get any work done or somehow run a third of the country?  :smhid And there's so many of them (the characters I mean) :shocked But I think that you'll be able to make it work somehow. I believe in ya LOL

Have you ever seen 'The Office'? That tv show? That's the first thing I thought of when I saw that this was an Office AU. Or have you seen Pitch Perfect or GBF or any of those incredibly offensive and hilarious movies? This is like that but better CUZ 48G. Literally amazing. :D

And it's okay that the idols have basically taken over the world in a very communist and oppressive manner. I mean seriously, "We need the paper to make propaganda posters and fliers to release when we fly the blimps over the many countries we're governing"??
Talk about nonchalant invasion and dictatorship-like government  :sweatdrop: But once again, that's okay because it's interesting and funny. And being interesting and funny makes just about everything okay haha :thumbsup :P

Okay I think I've fangirled enough, I'll have to save some for the next reply when you update :P

Oh but I like how you start off with Yui, and end with Yui. Nice device there.
That whole showing up to the office at certain times, with certain people, talking about certain things. I liked that too lol XD
Lol at the three who showed up talking about 'yesterday's news'
Like, everyone already saw those a whole day ago, way to be behind~ *said in a sassy prissy tone*  XD

So I'll be waiting for the next installment of this story *nudge nudge*
Keep up the good work! :thumbsup

Offline nezukara

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Re: The Chaos that Happens when the AKB48 Group Works in an Office
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2016, 10:39:40 AM »
@Keiyuu Okay let me start this off by saying that your whole comment just made my day! Seriously I was on top of the world as I read through the whole thing! :theking

I love your style and the flow of your fics, pure undulated brilliance :yep:
Ahhhhhhhhhh! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! You flatter me too much!

And about the cute things I mean like in one of your OS's there's that part where Yuki's all like "When I started to see stars in your eyes, you became my world. When I started seeing you in the stars, you became my universe." CHEESY. Cheesy as hell. But I love it. I was squirming like a dork. It's like cheesy but it's deep too, and said in a different way that somehow makes it less cliche? Get what I mean? Sorry I'm commenting on that here but it's just something I happened to pick up on in your
You've read my other fanfics! *Does a happy dance* Lol I find myself unintentionally heading towards the cheesy side of things when I write these oneshots, which I probably wouldn't do if I was writing for any other purpose other than the 48Group XD

And the overall interactions between them all?! What were you saying about not 'having much experience with comedy' Lol you're trollin me aren't ya? :lol:
It's so funny I'm like twitching in my seat, okay so no I'm not having a seizure but they're still funny as hell :grin:
This is honestly the first legit stab I've made at making pure crack comedy XD I've written some short stuff (at the request of my friends) non-48Group related that I've never posted online, but that's pretty much it! As I stated earlier, I usually head towards raw cheese, or pure fluff, I guess, but I wanted to try something new here. I take it that I'm doing okay lol?

Have you ever seen 'The Office'? That tv show? That's the first thing I thought of when I saw that this was an Office AU. Or have you seen Pitch Perfect or GBF or any of those incredibly offensive and hilarious movies? This is like that but better CUZ 48G. Literally amazing. :D
I've watched some snippets of The Office before lol, but I never actually got into the show unfortunately (I should pick it up sometime...). Lol when I sat down and wondered what to write for this, I realized that it was movies and shows like Pitch Perfect (incredibly offensive and hilarious) that made me laugh the most, so I tried to write this "fic" (question mark? I'm not sure if this qualifies as a fic anymore XD) based on that.

Anyways, thanks for reading this abomination of mine! I'll try to update it soon as well, and I look forwards to your fic too!

Online MaYukiIsLife

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Re: The Chaos that Happens when the AKB48 Group Works in an Office
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2016, 04:16:16 PM »
Churi getting a kick out of Miichan mistaking Dasu for Yoshida... XD That scene made me laugh. As if Mariko-sama trolling wasn't enough, Churi-sama made it even more funny.

Offline sasshirie

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Re: The Chaos that Happens when the AKB48 Group Works in an Office
« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2016, 12:57:38 AM »
haha funny

 :mon thumb:

Offline ChibiRine

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Re: The Chaos that Happens when the AKB48 Group Works in an Office
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2016, 02:48:29 PM »
I wasn't able to see this before. But I saw it now, and WOW! You're never failing to make me smile/laugh. :farofflook:

This is actually priceless, we need to see and read more stories that are like this. :ding:

The flow of this story is good, it's brilliant! Wait, did I say that it was good? What I meant to say that it was awesome and funny! :mon XD:

What do you mean you about "not having much comedy"? :mon zoom:

Gurl, I tell ya, this is pure "GOLD" comedy. :glasses:

And what caught my attention is Sayanee's strange action and that funny/drunk scene with Kojipa and Yuko.  :twothumbs

Hey, I hope you'll update this crazy fic of yours. :mon bye:


油断した私がハートときめかせたせいねその目に見つめられポーっとしてしまった

君を見つけたらどんな言葉を掛ければいい?その姿 見とれて僕はきっと立ち尽くす人混みと喧噪の隙間愛する人と出逢えたことだけでしあわせになる

スキャンダラスに生きて行こうそれが私たちの生きる道やりたいことやって行こう一度の人生だ

For more gayness and sweetness, visit the FuuMiru Thread and KojiYuu Thread!


Offline nezukara

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AN: And here we go again XD Part two of this abomination (that has officially become the code name for this thing right here) I trieddddddddd

Also, how would you guys (the readers of this thing) feel if I occasionally placed the setting somewhere else, I.e. the gang goes on an outing to the mall and crazy insane stuff happens? I've actually got some ideas for stuff like that lol

Please leave comments! Your favorite parts, suggestions for new bits, anything! I just love comments!

Enjoy~

--

"... The servers are down again!" Atsuko slams her fist into her keyboard furiously before wheeling out of her cubicle, running a few fingers over her Tohoushinki posters — the only posters that Jurina allowed her to keep — and sighs impatiently.

At this moment, Ricchan comes wheeling out of her cubicle nearby and stretches, stroking her precious (tennis)balls. This catches Atsuko's attention, and she stares at her suspiciously. After another minute of staring, Ricchan finally notices Atsuko's presence, and asks with a painfully awkward tone, "Hey, what's up?"

"The company servers are down again." Atsuko sighs.

"Isn't Rena in charge of those?" Ricchan questions, "Why isn't she doing anything?"

"Cuz she can't stand up to Jurina for her life! You're weak, Renaaaaa! Weaaaaaaakkkkk!" Atsuko raises her fist, shaking it in mock anger.

A door hinge squeals as the iron door to Jurina's office swings open. Ricchan quickly wheels back into her cubicle and Atsuko hurriedly opens up Microsoft Word up on her laptop.

Jurina waves her hand lazily. "I heard someone call my Rena-chan "weak"? Acchan?" She asks when she notices Atsuko frantically typing gibberish into Word.

"I DIDN'T DO IT, I mean yes, I mean STOP JUDGING ME!" Atsuko yelps as her fingers screech 'ejncioadnjoncoudwinoikcj伝くっディヴフェ美vfすひいのい안정주와 차쟈왜ㅑㅇ충쟈£}~€\£~€,!|£]|{]€蛋糕' over the keyboard.

Rena's door swings open right as Jurina gives Atsuko the evil eye, "What's this all about?"

"Nothing." Jurina murmurs eerily and closes the door.

Rena looks at Atsuko and Ricchan (who were now shivering in their respective cubicles) in confusion before going back into her own office.

Meanwhile, Atsuko had silent tears streaming down her face, and Ricchan was doing all she could to awkwardly comfort her.

--

Yuki was bored. She was sitting at the office kitchen table, watching Sasshi try (with many failed attempts) to stir the cookie batter.

"This isn't working..." she mutters, "Yukirin, how do you turn dough into well... dough?"

"By stirring it."

“I’m doing that.”

“Well, stir it better.”

"Wow, thanks," she replies sarcastically, "You're so much help."

"Wasn't Renacchi supposed to help you?" Yuki asks, frowning, "Where is she?"

"Renacchi? She ran off. Said it was against her beliefs or something. Something about only eating cupcakes?"

"...Sure." Yuki decides to busy herself looking up episodes of Mayu's latest drama on her laptop. "If you need help, why don't you ask Rie? She knows how to bake, doesn’t she? She'll be willing to help... maybe."

"No! I'm going to do this all by myself!" Sasshi begins stabbing the cookie dough with the wooden spoon again. "Why did I have to pull the stupid short straw?"

Getting frustrated, Sasshi tries the tactic of yelling at the batter. “Damn you! Blend! Blend! BLEND!"

The dough, not having any ears, is deaf to Sasshi's commands.

--

"Teamwork workshop next week." Jurina nudges Takamina's chair roughly and dumps some piles of paper on her desk, and then pauses. "Hey, you OK?"

"Nuuuuuuu..." She groans, "I'm a freaking failureeeeeee..."

"Oh, that's sad. Be right back."

--

Sayaka walks into her office after a rather odd meeting about an excess amount of propaganda poster to find the unwelcome sight of Kishino Rika waiting for her.

"So Sayaka," Rikanyan smirks, leaning against the NMB captain's work desk. "Have you ever thought about taking on a different occupation? You seem rather good with taking phone calls."

A vein pops in Sayaka's head, and she mentally curses Shinoda Mariko with the entirety of her soul.

So instead she smiles through gritted teeth and shakes her head. "I have literally no idea what you're talking about Rika!"

"Uhhuh," Rika's smirk only gets wider. "Let's see how long that lasts. After all, there's only so much frosting on the cupcake that you can eat, Sayaka."

"Eh?" Sayaka blinks, completely lost.

The oddly-behaving girl then proceeds to scamper out of the older girl's office, snickering to herself as she closes the door behind her.

Sayaka groans and takes a seat at her desk... Only to find something wet and sticky touch her behind.

"What the hell?! Glue?!"

Rika quickly pokes her head back into Sayaka's office.

"By the way, that wasn't Mariko!"

Sayaka only groans again, slamming her head into her desk out of irritation, with Rika standing outside of her door, laughing her ass off.

--

"And... and the papers!" Annin sobs, flicking out some tissues to wipe away her tears, "They were crying out to me! 'Count me, Annin! Count me!' they cried! I didn't... I didn't know what to do! They were already falling from the blimps! And they were falling at speeds too fast for me to count! I couldn't do anything for themmmm WAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"There, there..." Dr. Parutaro replies gently, patting the distressed girl on the back. "They never loved you anyways. You're better than them, Annin! They don't need you anymore. It's time for them to be set free."

"How did you do it?!" Annin asks, bawling into her hands. "How did you let the precious babies go so easily?!"

"Look at me, Annin. Look at me." Dr. Parutaro raised the girl's chin so that they were staring at each other, eye-to-eye. "I didn't eat the cupcake, Annin. That's why."

"W-what?"

"You'll understand one day, young Padawan."

--

"Refreshments are provided, right? At the workshop?" Yui puts her hand out to stop Jurina.

The young world leader nods lazily, "'Course. Was the only way Rena and I could actually convince you guys to attend. After all, we're probably the laziest of all world powers out there."

Yui shrugs. "Sakura's pretty hard working."

"Any other examples?"

"...no."

"Then your argument is invalid."

--

Rie walks into the kitchen and instantly feels something wrong. She sniffs the air before summoning for help.

"SASSHI!!! YOU IDIOT! YOU SET THE EFFING COOKIES ON FIRE!"

Sasshi immediately rushes in, "No I haven't!"

She had spoken too soon, and her jaw drops open when she saw the burning cookies. "Oh my God! The cookies have spontaneously combusted!!!!!"

Rie growls and smacks her soundly on the head with a rolling pin. "You idiot! You left them in the oven for too long!"

"Ok, I'll fix this!" Sasshi hastily picks up a tea towel and pathetically begins to wave it by the flames.

"...Sasshi?"

"What?"

"The tea towel's on fire."

"Huh?" Sasshi quickly looks down at the towel, only to see a black, charred piece of fabric. "Shit! Water! We need water!"

"We need a fire extinguisher!"

All of a sudden:

MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP

"What is that?!" Yuki demands, rushing into the kitchen.

"The fire alarm! The cookies have spontaneously combusted into flames," Sasshi yells back, "But don't worry! I'm watching over it!"

"That's not that reassuring!" Yuki rolls her eyes, facepalming. "If only you were more concerned about the cookies than your flowery daisy apron!"

"It's flattering, okay?!"

"Oh, for goodness sake-" Renacchi hastily barges in on the scene, her Super Soaker 5000 water gun clasped securely in her hands and douses the flames without a problem. "There. All gone!"

But:

MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP

"What the hell is this?" Yuki yells, getting even more annoyed. "The fire's out! Shut up now!"

MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP

"Shut up!"

MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP ME-

*CRASH*

Everyone looks up to see a metal spatula lodged into the fire alarm.

Yuki smirks victoriously and walks out of the kitchen.

--

"What do you mean I should stop eating cupcakes!" Mayu cries, outraged at this recent turn of events. "I love my pink cupcakes!"

"But Mayu," Dr. Parutaro replies patiently, "if you continue to eat those cupcakes, only bad things will come."

"But Renacchi eats them all the time," Mayu says hesitantly, "and she's fine."

"Fine?!"

Mayu jumps, shocked at the Doctor's sudden increase in volume.

"FINE?!" Dr. Parutaro screeches, whipping out her phone and showing pictures to Mayu. "Does this girl look fine to you?!"

"S-she's just watching Mean Girls..." Mayu whispers, "and going to Chipotle."

And Dr. Parutaro sighs, slouching into her chair, suddenly looking very tired.

"Ah, what a sad life that girl lives... Oh how ignorance is bliss! But listen here, Mayu. You must stop. Stop with the cupcakes. Before the cat dies. Before your garage door won't open no more! Before—"

"Okay!" Mayu interrupts, hands up in surrender in the air. "I'll stop eating the cupcakes! But I have two more questions for you."

"Yes?"

"What shrooms have you been eating, and can I have some?"

--

Takamina has her head down, glumly making a list of upcoming events and meetings when she senses Jurina about to return to her office.

"Jurina-senpaiiiiiiii, you said you'd be bacccccccckkkk." Takamina pleads, attempting to pathetically spin her pen.

Jurina holds up her hand and shuts the door. Takamina turns back to her list when the normally scary as hell girl taps her on the back, her mouth going near Takamina's ear.

"Love is confusing, even I don't understand. Sometimes you feel like you're gonna freaking die, but usually there's this huge happy cupcake inside. Don't eat that cupcake."

As the iron door closes again, Takamina blinks and stares at the door in bewilderment.

Meanwhile, Atsuko, who had witnessed the whole exchange, turns to a wary Sakura.

"Sakura, you see that scary maniac in that room?" Atsuko points her chin towards Jurina's door. Sakura follows Atsuko's line of vision, sees the iron door, and flinches.

"Yeah..."

"She's a frigging unicorn."
« Last Edit: January 20, 2016, 03:42:53 AM by nezukara »

Offline nezukara

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Okay guys, not an update, but nezukara here needs a bit of help!

I named this fic (if you can even call it a "fic" anymore) "The Chaos that Happens when the AKB48 Groups Works in an Office" mainly because I couldn't think of a better name and because it literally spells out what this fic is about XD However, it seems a bit... Long? Like, really really long.

I was wondering if anyone could help me think up a new one? Perhaps a new title that still captures the essence of the weird crap that goes on in here, but is a bit shorter (?)

I, myself, have simply been referring to this fic as "my abomination", but that doesn't seem like a title that would grab someone's attention, nor does it sound very appealing :lol:

Of course, if people are opposed to this idea of changing the name, that's cool too! I just want a bit of feedback!

Also, I've set up a poll! I'm planning on moving the setting around quite a bit, so it's not just in an office anymore! After all, there's only so much you can write about an office lol Help me in choosing the next location! Of course, options are not only limited to those three, so if you have an idea, hit the "other" option and comment or message me your idea!

~nezu out!
« Last Edit: January 21, 2016, 01:51:52 AM by nezukara »

Offline Keiyuu

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UGH YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE I MUST COMMENT ON THIS NOW.

Why do you always do this to me? Whhhhhyyyyyyyyy?! LOL Jk I love it  XD
I mean like, I see an update and think 'Oh I'll just keep the tab open and read it later' but NOPE. My eyes get caught on the first sentence and before I know it I'm already laughing like an idiot nonstop and the whole thing is already over. Then I stare at the reply button thinking 'Oh I'll just reply later' but as you can see, I cannot. I must not. I have to let you know NOW.

I don't really read a lot of fics like this. Like crack fics and such because I don't know, some of them just aren't that funny? But this one, oh yes, this one (even though I haven't read a lot of stories like it and I may not have the experience to judge) IT IS BRILLIANT BEYOND COMPARISON.

Those references man, they get me every time. It's like when someone makes an inside joke and you're the only one who UNDERSTANDS. THERE'S A CONNECTION I SWEAR.


"Cuz she can't stand up to Jurina for her life! You're weak, Renaaaaa! Weaaaaaaakkkkk!" Atsuko raises her fist, shaking it in mock anger.

A door hinge squeals as the iron door to Jurina's office swings open. Ricchan quickly wheels back into her cubicle and Atsuko hurriedly opens up Microsoft Word up on her laptop.

Jurina waves her hand lazily. "I heard someone call my Rena-chan "weak"? Acchan?" She asks when she notices Atsuko frantically typing gibberish into Word.

"I DIDN'T DO IT, I mean yes, I mean STOP JUDGING ME!" Atsuko yelps as her fingers screech 'ejncioadnjoncoudwinoikcj伝くっディヴフェ美vfすひいのい안정주와 차쟈왜ㅑㅇ충쟈£}~€\£~€,!|£]|{]€蛋糕' over the keyboard.

Rena's door swings open right as Jurina gives Atsuko the evil eye, "What's this all about?"

"Nothing." Jurina murmurs eerily and closes the door.

Rena looks at Atsuko and Ricchan (who were now shivering in their respective cubicles) in confusion before going back into her own office.

Meanwhile, Atsuko had silent tears streaming down her face, and Ricchan was doing all she could to awkwardly comfort her.


What is this even??? :nervous (WHERE IS THE CRYING/LAUGHING EMOJI WHEN I DESPERATELY NEED IT!)
Oh Jurina, freakin Jurina. She's like, this badass boss that overwhelms people with her aura alone. And little unsuspecting Rena ;)
Poor Acchan and somehow Jurina with those mind games :shocked


"Wasn't Renacchi supposed to help you?" Yuki asks, frowning, "Where is she?"

"Renacchi? She ran off. Said it was against her beliefs or something. Something about only eating cupcakes?"


It's like that one religion with the Flying Spaghetti Monster or something? :huhuh At least that's what it made me think of haha.
AGAINST HER BELIEFS LOLOLOLOL :lol:

And I totally understand screaming at inanimate objects.  :yep: It's a perfectly reasonable way to let out your frustration cuz maybe commanding it to blend, may actually blend it (probs not tho LOL :P)


"Teamwork workshop next week." Jurina nudges Takamina's chair roughly and dumps some piles of paper on her desk, and then pauses. "Hey, you OK?"

"Nuuuuuuu..." She groans, "I'm a freaking failureeeeeee..."

"Oh, that's sad. Be right back."


"Oh. That sucks." Is literally how I interpreted it. Lol I hate when people say that :banghead: :P
But it's hilarious here XD


A vein pops in Sayaka's head, and she mentally curses Shinoda Mariko with the entirety of her soul.

So instead she smiles through gritted teeth and shakes her head. "I have literally no idea what you're talking about Rika!"

"Uhhuh," Rika's smirk only gets wider. "Let's see how long that lasts. After all, there's only so much frosting on the cupcake that you can eat, Sayaka."

"Eh?" Sayaka blinks, completely lost.

The oddly-behaving girl then proceeds to scamper out of the older girl's office, snickering to herself as she closes the door behind her.

Sayaka groans and takes a seat at her desk... Only to find something wet and sticky touch her behind.

"What the hell?! Glue?!"


Yes! Yui got her! Haha Got 'im~
Mariko-sama~ trolling's the best!
At this point, I'm starting to notice the recurring mentions of cupcakes... :roll: :huhuh


"And... and the papers!" Annin sobs, flicking out some tissues to wipe away her tears, "They were crying out to me! 'Count me, Annin! Count me!' they cried! I didn't... I didn't know what to do! They were already falling from the blimps! And they were falling at speeds too fast for me to count! I couldn't do anything for themmmm WAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"There, there..." Dr. Parutaro replies gently, patting the distressed girl on the back. "They never loved you anyways. You're better than them, Annin! They don't need you anymore. It's time for them to be set free."

"How did you do it?!" Annin asks, bawling into her hands. "How did you let the precious babies go so easily?!"

"Look at me, Annin. Look at me." Dr. Parutaro raised the girl's chin so that they were staring at each other, eye-to-eye. "I didn't eat the cupcake, Annin. That's why."

"W-what?"

"You'll understand one day, young Padawan."


Annin...See a damn psychiatrist about the papers already...Oh wait! Dr. Paru is here to help! XD 8)
The papers...they be bae.
LOLOL Even Star Wars?!
Alright that's it. If you haven't seen this yet, you have to watch this video.
Just replace the coffee with cupcakes lol

Dudes sorry if the video is offensive, didn't think the entire thing would show up (I was just going for the link)
So don't watch it if you don't like cussing, kids~


"Refreshments are provided, right? At the workshop?" Yui puts her hand out to stop Jurina.

The young world leader nods lazily, "'Course. Was the only way Rena and I could actually convince you guys to attend. After all, we're probably the laziest of all world powers out there."

Yui shrugs. "Sakura's pretty hard working."

"Any other examples?"

"...no."

"Then your argument is invalid."


Yuihan only comes for the tea. Go Sakura!! Ganbare to make up for all the other couch potatoes!! :thumbsup

What is this?? Jurina, are you using *gasp* logic? LOL WHAT IS THIS SORCERY


MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP

"What is that?!" Yuki demands, rushing into the kitchen.

"The fire alarm! The cookies have spontaneously combusted into flames," Sasshi yells back, "But don't worry! I'm watching over it!"

"That's not that reassuring!" Yuki rolls her eyes, facepalming. "If only you were more concerned about the cookies than your flowery daisy apron!"

"It's flattering, okay?!"

"Oh, for goodness sake-" Renacchi hastily barges in on the scene, her Super Soaker 5000 water gun clasped securely in her hands and douses the flames without a problem. "There. All gone!"

But:

MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP

"What the hell is this?" Yuki yells, getting even more annoyed. "The fire's out! Shut up now!"

MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP

"Shut up!"

MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP ME-

*CRASH*

Everyone looks up to see a metal spatula lodged into the fire alarm.

Yuki smirks victoriously and walks out of the kitchen.


Sasshi: Don't worry guys! I'm watchin over it!
Yuki (deadpan): Is that supposed to be reassuring?
Me: *laughing my ass off* as I gallop into the sunset on Jurina - the friggin unicorn XD :P

I mean, spontaneous combustion, hey it happens :P

If only I could lodge a spatula in my school's fire alarm...
Or the timer at the drive-through where I work... *sigh*


"But Renacchi eats them all the time," Mayu says hesitantly, "and she's fine."

"Fine?!"

Mayu jumps, shocked at the Doctor's sudden increase in volume.

"FINE?!" Dr. Parutaro screeches, whipping out her phone and showing pictures to Mayu. "Does this girl look fine to you?!"

"S-she's just watching Mean Girls..." Mayu whispers, "and going to Chipotle."

And Dr. Parutaro sighs, slouching into her chair, suddenly looking very tired.

"Ah, what a sad life that girl lives... Oh how ignorance is bliss! But listen here, Mayu. You must stop. Stop with the cupcakes. Before the cat dies. Before your garage door won't open no more! Before—"

"Okay!" Mayu interrupts, hands up in surrender in the air. "I'll stop eating the cupcakes! But I have two more questions for you."

"Yes?"

"What shrooms have you been eating, and can I have some?"


No Mayu!...Don't give into the pressure...just because Renacchi does it, it doesn't mean it's okay...
#wisewordsofwisdom #ParuTheRapist

But Mean Girls is okay. And Chipotle is always good for the soul :yep: :yep:

The shrooms are just another form of coffee.


Takamina has her head down, glumly making a list of upcoming events and meetings when she senses Jurina about to return to her office.

"Jurina-senpaiiiiiiii, you said you'd be bacccccccckkkk." Takamina pleads, attempting to pathetically spin her pen.

Jurina holds up her hand and shuts the door. Takamina turns back to her list when the normally scary as hell girl taps her on the back, her mouth going near Takamina's ear.

"Love is confusing, even I don't understand. Sometimes you feel like you're gonna freaking die, but usually there's this huge happy cupcake inside. Don't eat that cupcake."

As the iron door closes again, Takamina blinks and stares at the door in bewilderment.

Meanwhile, Atsuko, who had witnessed the whole exchange, turns to a wary Sakura.

"Sakura, you see that scary maniac in that room?" Atsuko points her chin towards Jurina's door. Sakura follows Atsuko's line of vision, sees the iron door, and flinches.

"Yeah..."

"She's a frigging unicorn."


What is with this totally different Takamina?? Haha :shocked But it's interesting LOL
Hehe calling Jurina 'senpai' hehe he heh :drool:
Okay I need to stop being a creep

YAAAASSSSS JURINA THE TYRRANICAL MANIAC UNICORN :yep: :w00t:
Acchan knows :yep: XD


Phew! :doh: Did I miss any parts?? I sure hope I didn't but lol, you know I enjoyed them :thumbsup
Yeah Yeah keep updating this 'abomination' because it's definitely worth continuing and it's hilarious as always. You never disapppoint :thumbsup (even tho this is only the second chapter)

And yes I think it'd be a good idea to place these colorful characters in another setting, or like at least have them do different activites (like make cookies :thumbsup) since offices may seem to get boring or repetitive at times.
I'd love to see their reactions and how you write them in another setting :yep:
But I really can't decide between those choices you've put up there heheh...

Hmm about the title. I did notice that it was kind of long and really more of a label than a catchy name. Maybe something like: "AKB Office: Chaos Ensues" or something? Lol I suck at coming up with things (kinda lacking in creativity but oh well)

I'm not sure if this reply will help any nor did I offer any advice, but here's what I thought while reading nontheless and keep up the good work! (Ugh I'm so not quoting the entire thing again, honestly it's longer than the actual story like wtf sorry :nervous)

Anyways if you can't tell, I've really enjoyed the update! And I'm definitely looking forward to the next one! So I think I'll stop my rant here and if this super long comment hasn't let you know what I've thought about this 'abomination' then I don't know how else to tell you haha

See ya next time!

Offline nezukara

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  • We live to make the impossible, possible~
Aaaaahhhhhhhh Keiyuu I love these long comments!!!! Seriously, they make my day! I was waiting for you to find this update lol I'm so glad you enjoyed it! My goal was to establish that Jurina rules over all with her tyrannical unicorn powers and knowledge over the mystical food known as cupcakes, and it appears I have succeeded! Huzzah!  :w00t:

And yus, I had to have a Star Wars reference, especially after I saw the Force Awakens over the weekend lol It had to be in there somewhere!

Lol clearly I'm not so good at names either XD I'll keep working on it~

Now remember kids: Mean Girls is good for the soul, and Chipotle is the food of gods (besides cupcakes, that is)

Have a good day :lol:

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