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Author Topic: My Random OS's (Current - tanotomu)  (Read 462 times)

Offline yushayoshi

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My Random OS's (Current - tanotomu)
« on: May 08, 2017, 04:54:13 AM »
So I'm thinking about writing some OS's about some of the pairings that I like since I've been a silent reader for some time. I won't be writing that often since I don't have much spare time anymore, but I'll write random things I come up with.  I write what I want, so sorry, no requests!

So this first one is about tanotomu because I'm still salty that Tano didn't rank last year,

WARNING: This story contains mention of depression, self-hard, eating disorders, and suicide.
BTW, in this story, Tano and Tomu are like a thing but not officially :)

Is it worth is?

After sousenkyo:

Tano finally made her way home after a long night of hope, anxiety, and defeat. She plopped herself onto her bed, lights not even turned on. She sighed and stared at the ceiling.
Sousenkyo. I didn't rank. Not even last. How pathetic can I get? I'm dropping further and further down yet Tomu rose again. Ah shit, I never got around to congratulating her. Tano scrambled for her phone in the dark, but couldn't find it. She knew she threw it on her bed somewhere but not sure where. Alas, she finally got up to turn on the light so she could find her phone. When she did, she walked back to her bed and picked up her phone, which was lying on her pillow and crashed once more.
How should I say it? "I'm happy for you"? "You did great"?

To: Muto Tomu <3
"TOMUUUU!!! OMEDETOU!!! 10th! SAIKO DA! But I'm sad now because you won't have time for me... :(  I'll still wait for you though. :)"
From: Tano Yuka

After she sent the message, she turned off her phone, threw it on the floor (don't worry, she has a carpet) and rolled up into a ball.

Then, she broke. All of the tears and stress came out. All throughout the apartment, the only sound was the sound of her crying. Within her, the gears inside her head were working on overload.

Nande? Nande?! NANDE? Why am I so useless? All of my douki members made it in? Why couldn't I? I thought I could be good enough if I stopped eating and just exercised? Am I still too fat? Maybe, I'm not worth it. Maybe, I should just stop trying. People never really liked me in the first place so why bother? Maybe, just maybe, I should rid others of the pain of my existence.

Slowly, Tano got up and walked to the bathroom. When she did, she saw a monster. A distressed, mess of herself. Unable to handle it, she punched the mirror and shattered the glass. Shards of broken glass got stuck in her hard, but she felt no pain. Everything was numb. Looking down and seeing her blood made her nauseous. As much as she tried to throw up, she couldn't. There was nothing in her system for her to throw up.

Eventually she gave up and walked back to her room. Curling up into her sheets, she cried herself to sleep unbeknownst that her phone was blowing up with voicemails.

Next Morning:

Tano woke up to pitch black and the feeling of suffocation. Fearing the dark and the inability to breathe, she started thrashing around. The grasp on her only got tighter. "Stop. Please stop." A voice was pleading to her. The voice that she loved to hear. Tomu.

Tano managed to creak out some words, "Tomu? What are you doing here? I can't breathe right now." Instantly, her lungs could work again and she could finally see the light coming from behind the worried look on Tomu's face. Had she been crying?

"Baka. You didn't answer my calls last night." She moved her hands to Tano's face, cradling her like she was about to fall apart any second. "I got worried so I came here after I woke up. I let myself in with the key that you gave me. I walked in and almost had a heart attack." By now, her forehead was against Tano's and her eyes closed.

Tano analyzed her face as she spoke. "What do you mean? I'm fi-" "NO, YOU'RE NOT!" Tano jumped at the sound of her voice and the fear came back. She began to breathe erratically to the point of hyperventilation. Tomu noticed this and realized her mistake. She pulled Tano into her embrace and tried to soothe her. "I'm sorry. Everything's okay. You're okay. Come on, take deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out." Tano became a small ball on Tomu's lap as she whispered into her ear. Slowly, Tano came back, but not without shaking and saying "I'm sorry" over and over again.

"Yuuka, look at me." Tano looked up at the older girl. "Let me treat your hand okay? Then I'll make you some breakfast." Tano stiffened at the mention of food. "I... I'm not... hungry." Tomu sighed in response, but nodded anyway. Lifting up the other girl, Tomu walked over to the living room and placed her on the couch before going off to find the first aid kit. Tano sat in silence waiting for Tomu to return.

The seat next to Tano dipped from the weight, "Yuuka, give me your hand. Tell me if it hurts, okay?" Tano gave a small nod.

Twenty minutes later, Tano's hand was wrapped perfectly and she was now seated in Tomu's lap. "Please, tell me what happened. I know I'm cold to you, but I really do care for you. Don't do this to me. Let me in to your mind."

Tano started to talk. About how she felt useless and resorted to over exercising to the point of always feeling sore. About how she stopped eating and when she did, how she would throw it all up later. About how she wanted to graduate. About how she felt like she didn't deserve to live in this world. And finally about how she felt she wasn't good enough for Tomu. And with every sentence that came out of Tano's mouth, Tomu's heart broke a little more and her embrace became just a little bit tighter and tighter each time. By the end of it, Tomu had a death grip on Tano.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? I would have been here for you. I would never leave you. I love you." Tano could feel her shoulder getting wet from Tomu's tears.

"I love you too, but who's to say that your love for me will last? On top of that, I don't deserve you. I'm not worth anything to you." Tano's voice was hollow and broken. So hollow and broken that Tomu vowed to herself that she would work to change it back to the happy and energetic voice she fell in love with.

"No, don't say that. That's not true. You're worth the world to me"

END

So this was quite sad but I wanted to write something that wasn't all happy, but rather kind of realistic. Also, sorry that they seem really OOC.

Please do tell me what you think of this story and if there's anything I should fix with my grammar/writing style.

Until next time!

Offline kuro_808

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Re: My Random OS's (Current - tanotomu)
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2017, 05:02:58 AM »
I like the theme and the point, sticking to it throughout. Maybe a few more to determine where you stand among the authors  :nervous

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Offline Haruko

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Re: My Random OS's (Current - tanotomu)
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2017, 05:46:54 AM »
Too dark but I love it that POV, everybody thinks is easy to be in this kind of group but in reallity is a royal battle every single day
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Offline yushayoshi

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Re: My Random OS's (Current - tanotomu)
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2017, 07:34:01 AM »
@kuro_808 @Haruko

Thank you both so much for your opinions. I'm glad that you liked it. I'm definitely trying to write from a more realistic standpoint, but I'm worried that it'll be too dark.

I think I'm going to try writing about keyakizaka or some other not as known pairing in akb next. 

Offline kuro_808

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Re: My Random OS's (Current - tanotomu)
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2017, 08:00:57 AM »
@kuro_808 @Haruko

Thank you both so much for your opinions. I'm glad that you liked it. I'm definitely trying to write from a more realistic standpoint, but I'm worried that it'll be too dark.

I think I'm going to try writing about keyakizaka or some other not as known pairing in akb next.

I want to see where you go honestly, don't get me wrong but the themes work here just have to fill in the blanks :nervous
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Offline yushayoshi

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Re: My Random OS's (Current - tanotomu)
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2017, 05:02:08 PM »
@kuro_808 @Haruko

Thank you both so much for your opinions. I'm glad that you liked it. I'm definitely trying to write from a more realistic standpoint, but I'm worried that it'll be too dark.

I think I'm going to try writing about keyakizaka or some other not as known pairing in akb next.

I want to see where you go honestly, don't get me wrong but the themes work here just have to fill in the blanks :nervous

Well I honestly don't really know what I plan to write about, but I want to write an OS about anxiety possibly featuring Watanabe Rika from keyakizaka46. I like the idea of writing about things that most people don't, including like disorders or just problems in general that are overlooked. Maybe I'll throw in a couple fluff OS/drabbles in too since I don't want everything to be so sad. You mentioned in the other post where I've read some of your stories; I've been a silent reader for quite some time now so I've read some of the things you've written here. I like your writing style and in general, your writing style/what you write.  :)

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