A's Note: I suggest to click the link given so you'll know the meaning of the story while playing it in the background. :]
Secrets
--
I permanently pasted my eyes on the girl across me; laughing with the other members, her dimples are deepening on her cheeks, a petite body that fit perfectly into my tall body, those hands that roams around my body as she declare it as ‘Skinship’, the face that present me silly faces no one can ever compete, those eyes that always melt my heart and my whole-self in to so much affection that I am receiving, her mouth, those mouth that declare all her love to me. All the love of Yuko Oshima. All about Yuko Oshima. My Perverted Squirrel. My Everything.
Haruna Kojima’s life.
Here is my story. Another story that something to get off my chest. A secret that wanting to be release.
I looked at the calendar on my phone. December 8, 2014.
9 years now huh? Nine years of keeping my secret from Yuko, from them, from everyone and my own secret that I kept on hiding behind those flashy camera, to the intrigued members, all the waiting fans of the Kojiyuu. The funny thing is that our Kojiyuu fans had dropped last year as they lost their hope that nothing will happen to Yuko’s one-sided love. They can drift away whenever they want. To me, in my heart Kojiyuu is still alive… even if Yuko is slowly losing her interest on our pairing.
My secret… I Love Yuko Oshima.
That secret is something I can’t confess to Yuko.
My reasons are so weak enough why I can’t.
“Haruna!” Yuko called my name out while gesturing me to join them. It hurts my heart that she stopped calling me Nyan Nyan. Her tone isn’t the same tender I keep hearing. The tone is now a friendly like.
“What is it Yuko?” I asked yet I know why she called me. I’ve been sitting alone on the couch from the last 20 minutes without interacting to some graduated members of AKB48. I snaked my arms around her but she quickly moved away.
Broken. Hurt.
“Hmm, Sae-chan wanted to update her blog and her topic is to tell a little something to the fans about the past pairings of AKB. Therefore, she wanted to take us two a picture for Kojiyuu’s sake.” Second, her tone is not giving an excitement. The Yuko I know would take this opportunity to get so touchy to me yet it’s different now.
Past. We are now past huh?
“Ne~ Harunyan please.” Sae pleaded, batting her lashes to vision my self to her cuteness so I’ll approve on her request. I nodded.
“Yosh. Kojiyuu do your lovey-dovey.”
As to being known as the Perverted Squirrel, Yuko clinged herself in front of me and snuggle her head on to my neck. Of course, I have to pretend again. Pretend that I am still the Tsundere Haruna. How I much want to hug back and kiss Yuko but I can’t. We are here in front of the camera again. Acting our fake Kojiyuu moment.
I heard Sae told us that she already captured a perfect shot for Kojiyuu and will now head to the Atsumina pair. I stood there… waiting for Yuko to set her feet back on the floor but that wait is false. She looked at me straight in the eyes. Eyes that cured my broken feeling. Eyes of the real Oshima Yuko.
“Hi Nyan Nyan.” She softly said.
Inside me, I sobbed real hard. Yuko is breaking me into pieces. I want to confess to her right now. Tell Yuko how much I love her. How my heart only beats for her. How I want to scream to the world of my love.
Distancing my face close to her, she gave me a smile and separated her body to mine, leaving me in to the darkness abyss all by myself again.
“Yuko.” I called out when she was about to approach Sayaka. I’ve planned something for you. For us.
“Yeah?” She then walked her way towards me. I caressed her cheeks for a moment before saying something.
“Can you come with me?” I asked. Hoping to the fullest she’ll accept.
“For my Nyan Nyan, I’ll go anywhere only for her.”
--
“Remember this place?” I asked when we finally arrived at the place.
The place where Yuko took me on our very first date. Her date. One-sided date. I was still playing the cold-hearted Kojima Haruna that time so it didn’t give her a happy memory to keep. To me, it was the most happiest memory I had ever experienced.
Yuko’s secret revealed in front of Kojima Haruna.
A serious declaration of love. Sweet perfect line. Passionate one-sided kiss. A hug that protected me forever. Heart vowed to beat only for me. Her own self. Oshima Yuko.
“First date… with you.” Yuko shed a tear as it stream down her cheek as if remembering the same flashback. “The same day you rejected me.”
The same day you rejected me.
I’m sorry, I broke your heart that day.
Hey, Yuko, you know I wanted to confess my love to you on our first date. To tell you how much I want you to repeat your confession of love to me. To ask you why I am the person you love and what did I done to have someone so precious like you in my side. How so happy I am on your ‘I love you Haruna Kojima.’ However, my insincere tsundere side are blocking my way. The consequences in the future that our relationship will fade and disappear. The critics we’ll receive from our family and to the public. I was scared. A weakling. I chose what my mind was telling me instead of my heart. My heart for you, Yuko.
This pretending not to love you is making my life gets boring. It’s killing me that I died Nine years ago. I’m in a brink of broken heart.
Yuko… I’m ready to confess the truth.
“It’s now our ninth year of knowing each other. For me, I call it our ninth year anniversary. Yuko I’m tired of all my insincere. In all those nine years, I’m going to give all my secrets to you...” I was crying so hard now which I stopped midsentence.
“I gave up… Eight years of loving someone that the girl I love doesn’t love me back. My hope, faith and strength are tired of waiting. Gone.”
I fell down on my knees. My ears deafen on her hurt and painful words. I heard my heart shattered into pieces, not caring the loud noise it made. Next thing I want to happen is to die from this heartache. I’m here again in the lone world of unknown.
How stupid of me not to notice that! I placed her into a queue of nothingness, waiting for nothing, waiting for the stupid girl who let her fear block her way. I let her wait for me for all those years. How stupid of me. How stupid.
“What do you want from my mouth that your heart and ear loves to hear?” I grasped on her hand after I stand myself in front of her. Not caring if my eyes are stained with redness.
“I LOVE YOU! I AM DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH YUKO OSHIMA! I WILL GIVE MY LIFE JUST TO BE WITH YOU! DON’T YOU KNOW HOW AMAZING IT IS THAT WE GOT THIS FAR? I ALWAYS THANK GOD THAT YOU AND I MET. OSHIMA YUKO, I LOVE YOU.”
“My secret is that I love you.”
“I love you Yuko Oshima.”
I finally gave my secret away.
Haruna Kojima’s secret finally escaped inside her.
Haruna Kojima’s secret is now over.
A's Note: So how was it? I actually picked the song to fit Haruna and her situation.
Topic: ♥ The Random Song Fics (Read 80272 times)