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Author Topic: Colors (WMatsui fanfic) 08/06/2014  (Read 6632 times)

Offline pencil

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Colors (WMatsui fanfic) 08/06/2014
« on: June 05, 2014, 05:35:12 AM »
Introduction

Earliest sun lights pass by Jurina’s hands. Their warmness wakes her up. Temperature, smell and sound are three things she can feel now. Jurina gets up. She stands up, turns left, walks exactly seven steps ahead, and opens the door. Jurina knows location of everything in the house. From her bed to the desk, to the bathroom, to the kitchen, to the living, and even to the yard. She knows where her toothbrush, shampoo, cup, dishes, fork, spoon, sugar, and other essential stuff are. This is her world. She’s familiar with it. She belongs to it. She knows it. She’s safe here.

Jurina starts her day as everyday. She brushes her teeth, washes her face, takes a shower, goes for a walk, and prepares simple breakfast herself. Jurina doesn’t have a television. The only thing she has is a radio which she listens to news and couple of songs. In her world, everything is peaceful. Jurina usually listens to a reading channel which the reporter will read a chapter of a book everyday. Jurina comfortably lies down on the couch and listens to the seventh chapter of a novel by Murakami Haruki. She’s followed the novel for a week. A connection appears between her and his novel. “Silence, I discover, is something you can actually hear.” And darkness, Jurina discovers, is something she can actually see.

Jurina is blind.



Further parts will be updated. Comments are more than welcome. Thank you.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2017, 01:10:26 AM by sophcaro »

Offline Zhen

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Colors
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2014, 06:12:48 AM »
Nice!!!!!! I want to read more!!!! :) pls!!!! Be wmatsui. :3 I love it!!!!!



Offline olive29

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Re: Colors
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2014, 06:22:34 AM »
A blind Jurina...
That's new...

I want WMatsui or JuriYuki,please...

Offline 48matama

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Re: Colors
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2014, 06:46:29 AM »
JURINA IS BLIND OAO

Please make it wmatsui ><

Offline RenshuChan

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Re: Colors
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2014, 12:07:26 PM »
Aahhh, my prince is blind (╥﹏╥)

Can't wait to read the whole story >_<

Offline Kirozoro

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Re: Colors
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2014, 01:30:08 PM »
Wmatsui pls!!!

Jurina is blind?!?

Offline menamarco96

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Re: Colors
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2014, 04:17:35 AM »
Looking forward !!  :thumbup

Sounds really interesting !!  :twothumbs

Offline River1721

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Re: Colors
« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2014, 04:25:33 AM »
Hoping for Wmatsui ~  :D
Wow! Jurina being blind! :shocked That's new! :w00t:
The prologue sounds so interesting! :thumbsup Can't wait for Chapter 1! :twothumbs

Offline Koneki

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Re: Colors
« Reply #8 on: June 06, 2014, 04:35:29 AM »
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS!!!

I HOPE IT CAN BE WMATSUI!! :bow: :bow: :bow:

~ KamiOshi 松井玲奈 || AKBOshi 高橋みなみ~
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Offline Florence2412

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Re: Colors
« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2014, 07:20:56 PM »
New fic!!! Update soon okay to me also translated into Vietnamese!!!  :cow: :cow:

WMatsui, please!!!

Not that I kill you!!!
« Last Edit: June 06, 2014, 07:28:38 PM by Florence2412 »
✿◕ ‿ ◕✿ My Oshi | Yuko - Jurina ✿◕ ‿ ◕✿
≧✯◡✯≦ My OTP | KojiYuu - WMatsui ≧✯◡✯≦

Offline pencil

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Re: Colors
« Reply #10 on: June 07, 2014, 04:02:47 AM »
Seems like everyone expects to see WMatsui. Probably I should troll you a little bit.

Offline 48matama

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Re: Colors
« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2014, 05:36:32 AM »
NOOOOOOOOOO  :panic:

Offline River1721

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Re: Colors
« Reply #12 on: June 07, 2014, 05:42:29 AM »
Seems like everyone expects to see WMatsui. Probably I should troll you a little bit.
EH!!  :shocked
I better watch myself so I don't get trolled :on study: :mon sweat:

Offline Koneki

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Re: Colors
« Reply #13 on: June 07, 2014, 06:04:36 AM »
ehhh I don't want to be trolled  :cry:  :cry:

better don't read then uwu


~ KamiOshi 松井玲奈 || AKBOshi 高橋みなみ~
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Offline pencil

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Re: Colors
« Reply #14 on: June 08, 2014, 05:43:34 AM »
Memories is like a videotape that Jurina plays everyday. Again and again. A movie she watches everyday and knows every single detail yet never gets bored. Jurina’s afraid if she didn’t play it every day, she would forget everything. Memories and dreams have a similarity: they do hurt people by things that seem very real but actually not. However, Murakami Haruki is correct. “No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.”

This is the last summer of Jurina’s college life. She will be a senior next year. The reason why Jurina can enjoy her summer as a lazy cat is that she already got a job after the job hunting season in spring. Jurina finds it hard for her to live as a normal person. When she was an idol, she obviously led a different life from other. When she’s no longer an idol, she leads a life as a disable girl. No matter how many efforts are made, there’s no way for a disable to treat equally as other people or at least how she sees herself. A disable is still a disable. Jurina’s gone through three years in college thank to supports from special equipment and private tutors. She’s not super smart, but she’s a bright kid. She’s not a kind of student that aces all the tests, but she never fails. She maintains a good status despite her disability. The ace of SKE can’t give up.

Jurina always starts with first days, first generation members, first stages, first fans… Jurina never thought that everything can be that vibrant. After she lost her vision, everything is more vibrant. She regrets a little bit. She regrets not being able to perform more on team S stage. Being an ace of SKE, Jurina unfortunately spent most of her time with AKB activities as a senbatsu member. Excuses could be made: activities duplication or health problem. However, it was hard to be accepted many times especially when she was an absolute ace of SKE. If Jurina had been able to roll back the time, she would have been braver to say “no” with AKB activities and devoted herself to SKE more. But yeah, “What was lost was lost. There was no retrieving it, however you schemed, no returning to how things were, no going back.” (Murakami Haruki)

The hardest time is probably the period she learned to accept the fact that she was going to lose her vision.

“Jurina. It’s wrong. Look!” The instructor seemed to be impatient.

She committed the same mistake four times. It was weird. Jurina was always well known for her ability of memorizing choreography. She apologized the instructor and paid all attention on her instructor. She tried to memorize all the steps. She believed that she didn’t miss anything, but why did she still make mistake?

After the practice, Jurina quickly went to the restroom. She washed her face carefully. The water was cold, but good that was what she needed. She looked into the mirror. She saw a slight fog. There seemed to be something wrong with her eyes. Jurina washed her eyes again. Slowly. Carefully. And looked into the mirror again. The fog was still there. While she was going to wash her eyes one more time, Rena came.

“Jurina.”

“Ahh Rena chan…”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah yeah I’m alright. I’m fine.” Jurina tried to be as usual.

“Are you sure? Today you’re… weird. Tired?” Rena doubtfully asked.

“No no, I’m not. I’m really not.” Jurina took back her cheerful voice and brightened her face.

Rena seemed not to be convinced, but she didn’t know what else to say. Jurina pushed Rena from the back.

“You care too much. This makes you old.”

“I am actually old.”

“What? Don’t say that. If people don’t know you age, they never think you’re older than I.”

Jurina was making the conversation become normal as usual. Rena was very subtle. Jurina knew better than anyone else. Jurina had to take action and stops Rena’s skepticism right away.

Jurina spent more sleeping time on watching choreography videos. She had to catch up with other members and she didn’t want anyone suspect her change. Back to a few weeks ago, everything had occurred in a few second but actually changed many things. During a stage with team K, Jurina rushed into backstage in order to change her clothes and prepare for the next song. An accident happened. Well, Jurina was always full of energy during every performance but she was still a 16 year old girl. She had her limit, and it just came in a very inappropriate moment. Jurina fell. Very quick. Her head hit the floor. No one noticed. Everyone had only a few seconds to get ready and Jurina was the last one who ran into backstage. She stood up immediately and followed other members. No one saw that moment, and Jurina didn’t say anything either. Jurina didn’t have much time to worry either, and she also forgot it easily.

However, when her vision got worse, she remembered that moment. Jurina went to the hospital in her rare day off. She was sneaky with a hat. It wasn’t a great idea to be recognized by either fans or members. And even staff.

“It’s very dangerous especially when you hit your head. Why didn’t you go to the hospital after the stage?”

“I… forgot.”

“You’re lucky. You’re fine. But your vision is affected. You can’t see well recently, right?”

Jurina nodded.

“I don’t want to scare you, but you should be prepared… If the worst thing comes, you may not see anymore.”

“Are you… serious? Any chance for me?”

“There is, but very slight. I’m trying to help you. I know you’re only 16, but you are Matsui Jurina and you’re different from your peers. So I guess I can be straightforward and tell you the truth. I’m really sorry…”

Jurina was shocked and scared. After all, she was only a 16 year old girl. She just happened to join the entertainment industry early, but it didn’t mean that people should always treat her as an adult. She was still 16. She still had worries and weak sides. However, she was alone right now. Actually she was. Who should she go and talk to? Mom? Dad? Staff? Members? Or Rena? She couldn’t talk to none.

Offline 48matama

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Re: Colors
« Reply #15 on: June 08, 2014, 05:58:34 AM »
It explain why Jurina is blind

AND

PLEASE DON'T TROLL ME  :panic:

Offline River1721

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Re: Colors
« Reply #16 on: June 08, 2014, 06:41:16 AM »
Jurina's background story is so sad :mon waterworks:
Mou~ If only they could have prevented it!  :fainted: :err:
Update soon~  :byebye:

Offline pencil

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Re: Colors
« Reply #17 on: June 08, 2014, 06:59:14 AM »
Jurina went to the hospital for further examinations more times. Time went and Jurina saw the difference. It did come very quickly. Her vision got worse day by day. Jurina found harder and harder to deal with it. She sneaked into SKE and AKB theaters after they closed and started learned how to walk through everywhere. She tried to remember positions of everything, how many steps to the stage, and practiced moving around. She didn’t want anyone to know her condition. She wanted to make sure that even she couldn’t see, she was still able to do everything as usual.

It was challenging, but practice made perfect. SKE spirit never died. Jurina got used to SKE and AKB theaters. She was confident to move around even she couldn’t see everything clearly. Jurina didn’t know exactly when she would totally lose her vision. But the more she stood in stage, the more she appreciated every last second she spent as an idol. Jurina learned how much she loved her job and her fans though now she couldn’t see them anymore. She stood in the front. She was the one who was closest to fans. But now she couldn’t see them anymore.

Time came. The world was white and that was it. Whiteness was what Jurina could see. She knew it was the right time to stop. Jurina announced her graduation. And same thing she had done in SKE and AKB theaters, Jurina spent sleepless night to remember all steps in Nagoya Dome. She and her friends dreamed of performing there, made it come true, and launched their bigger dreams. Now she would finish everything there. Jurina didn’t want to graduate before Rena. She believed in young generations, but she never wanted to leave any burdens on Rena. However, Jurina had no choice. She must quit before everyone discovered the truth – what was going on with her.

And Jurina sent her gratitudes to her fans with happiest and brightest smiles. Thousand fans. She couldn’t see one, and none of them knew that she just saw a sea of gold – team S color. Gold. She would remember this color for the entire her life as the most beautiful color she ever saw.

Rena held her hands and then hugged her tight. Jurina kept her smile as always. Looking at Rena, now she could only see the shape of Rena’s face. The thing Jurina was scared of most happened. The day Jurina wasn’t able to see Rena came. Either Rena was happy or angry, Jurina never wanted to leave her eyes. She kept looking at Rena all over the time. And now she must accept the fact that she would not do that anymore. It was tough. Rena’s round and big eyes. Rena’s slips. Rena’s nose. Everything. She couldn’t see anymore. That just made Jurina want to cry. Nothing could hurt her that much, but Jurina didn’t allow her to cry. She must complete her role.

Jurina left the entertainment industry and kept her private life out of the public. She attended a four year college and tried to study something with hope that she wouldn’t be a burden for society.

Jurina doesn’t remember how many years have passed. Probably not too long. Everything with SKE, however, is like a distant star. You can see its light, but actually it already died. Only its light goes light-years and reaches you.



Rena followed Jurina. It was quite difficult for her because she had to hide herself whenever Jurina looked back. Jurina seemed very sneaky but very careful too. Jurina always tried to make sure that no one could know her destination. And where was Jurina going? Rena wondered. Rena knew that there was something wrong with Jurina, but she didn’t know exactly what it was.

Finally, Jurina stopped in front of a hospital. What? Hospital? Rena started being worried. What was wrong with Jurina’s health? Rena was careful. She didn’t want to either miss Jurina or let Jurina know that she was here. Department of Ophthalmology? What the heck was Jurina doing here? However, Rena could assume that Jurina had some problems with her eyes. Could it be the reason why Jurina made more mistake in choreography recently? Because Jurina wasn’t able to see well? But what was happening to Jurina’s eyes?

Jurina never knew that Rena was always with her whenever she came to the hospital for examination. Jurina never knew that Rena was always with her in empty SKE and AKB theaters when she practiced walking around everywhere with her terrible vision. And Jurina never knew that Rena tried to hold her tears when she was watching Jurina learned to remember every step in Nagoya Dome either. Jurina fell. Jurina got hurt. Rena really wanted to help, but forced herself to keep hiding herself. This was Jurina's choice. This was Jurina's plan. And Rena respected this. 

Jurina always led SKE despite her young age. Rena admitted that she was jealous, but at the same time she admired Jurina too. One more time, Jurina proved that she was an ace. It was not easy. It was very difficult. But Jurina solved it herself. Practice and practice. Practice made perfect. Practice made Jurina. Only when Rena saw Jurina practiced her steps in SKE and AKB theaters and Nagoya Dome, she realized how much she loved that little girl. And the fact is, you shouldn’t love a wealthy or powerful person but love the one who can inspire you. And Jurina did.



“I’m sorry for leaving before you…”

“What are you talking about, idiot? Don’t worry. I’ll take care of SKE. So just follow your dream.”

“It’s very good to have you, Rena-chan. Honestly.”

Rena made a peace sign in front of Jurina’s eyes. Though Rena already knew, she still wanted to check. Jurina still looked at her with a smile and had no reaction. Therefore, it was true… Jurina couldn’t see anything anymore. Rena tried not to make noise, but she couldn’t hold her tears anymore.

Jurina held Rena’s hands tight, but Rena chose to hug Jurina.

“I’m sorry for coddling you for years. It must be annoying. But from now, I won’t anymore.”

“No, kid. Shut up. Don’t say stupid things.”

And this was the last time they met.
« Last Edit: June 08, 2014, 10:29:52 PM by pencil »

Offline Haruko

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Re: Colors
« Reply #18 on: June 08, 2014, 08:46:59 AM »
omg poor jurina

Offline olive29

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Re: Colors
« Reply #19 on: June 08, 2014, 03:31:44 PM »
This is a great fic...  :twothumbs

A blind Jurina and how Rena look after her from the side...  :cry:

But, how about J's parents??

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