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General => General Discussion => Topic started by: ~Dan~ on May 20, 2009, 04:15:25 AM

Title: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: ~Dan~ on May 20, 2009, 04:15:25 AM
Quote
Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo

ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”
http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo (http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo/)


WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: iacus on May 20, 2009, 04:26:56 AM
At least she didn't die in vain.

Now women the world over know that sticking a jackhammer up their crotch can have deadly consequences.
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: tru_harmony on May 20, 2009, 04:49:17 AM
that was just  :shocked
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: shadowstar on May 20, 2009, 05:44:06 AM
WTF is really the most appropriate thing to say here..
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: THUNDERDUCK on May 20, 2009, 04:41:52 PM
Talking about coming and going at the same time...
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: shurastriker on May 20, 2009, 04:47:30 PM
probably she never used the required protection (goggles, helmet, gloves)
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: JTRIX on May 20, 2009, 04:55:55 PM
I just wonder how the fuck she can stick a jackhammer up her crotch???
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: frblckstr1 on May 20, 2009, 07:24:51 PM
^ You should watch some (more) JAV :D
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: shadowstar on May 20, 2009, 08:01:24 PM
I just wonder how the fuck she can stick a jackhammer up her crotch???

Ah, the wonders of women! XD
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: Tuffty on May 20, 2009, 08:25:15 PM
That's terrible. Can't imagine the pain she must have been in.

How she managed to do it is just... :o
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: JFC on May 21, 2009, 04:43:39 AM
As Gackt would say...

(http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/2642/gacktbakayarou.jpg)
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: arun.yothin on May 21, 2009, 04:58:56 AM
When I first read it late last night, I was thinking she had a dildo on the end of it. Is there no mention if there was one or just the actual jackhammer. She shoulda bought one of those machines actually made for the job. XD
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: tru_harmony on May 21, 2009, 05:28:38 AM
the crazier thing about using the proper machines is that she actually sells sex toys
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: ichijoujirena on May 24, 2009, 12:08:26 AM
Buh.....  :scared:

She probably got tired of all the sex toys and wanted to try something new?
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: Datalanche on May 24, 2009, 09:20:23 PM
You know, I understand that in the end everybody wants to get off, but the day I am so desperate for it that I am about to put a high-RPM device near my rod, I'll just pay for the plane ticket to Vegas and hooker it up instead. Seriously, what are some people thinking? >__________________>
Title: Re: Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo
Post by: eynjel18 on May 25, 2009, 12:15:13 PM
She must have seen "Tetsuo: the Iron Man"