/o/ hello. I have come back from the dead, jk i've just been posting all my shit on tumblr even though nobody can actually see or read them. Everything is either pure crack or crack pairings littered all over the place anyways.
Even this one.
Enough of me talking (and procrastinating from translating Akiba)
I present you,
The Letter Never Sent
Tomomi,
You’re graduating now too… to think that we’ve known each other for 6 years now. It’s unbelievable; I would have never expected it.
The only part of the first memory that I can remember is the cold glare that you gave off, that had contradicted with your cute looks. "Hi, i'm Tomomi, chiyuu~" I said cheerfully hoping that as part of AKB we would be able to get along nicely. "Hn..." you scoffed, as if you hated us 2nd gen that stood in front of you. My forehead wrinkled and my first thought was that I didn't like you.
That would be the only thing that I thought about you for the next 3 months. Back then I would have never expected that our relationship would become the way that it did. I never would have expected that your actions would have such a big impact on me. When did this happen, when did it start that I couldn't live without you being by my side? When was it that I started to stop glaring and instead started smiling at you?
I can’t quite seem to remember, my memories started blurring together. There are traces of you, Mai, Megumi all over my memories, but each one of those relationships came ended with a heartbreaking break up. Did I do something wrong, something devastating to deserve to have my heart ripped into pieces by all the women I’ve ever come to love?
You and I started because we got into the same company, we both joined Horipro I didn’ think much of it at the time. I was infatuated with Mai Mai, everyone’s caring older sister. The only reason we got close was because you and Mai were friends and I was a love sick puppy that was following her everywhere. I look back at that time in disgust; I can’t believe that I had once acted like that. They were right, all the stories - love makes the person a fool.
To be honest, I don’t remember much about Mai and I’s relationship. It was a blur like everything else; we were stuck hiding from all of the members in fear. It was a surprise that Mai would have taken my confession seriously when I myself wouldn’t have. Back then it felt like she was the one for me, but now when I look back at it she really wasn’t. It was childish for me to have believed that Mai would love me; she was in fact just looking after me like a younger sister. There was nothing explicit about our relationship, nothing sexual. It was just a pure first love, something that I would dream of when I was a child.
Come to think of it, you were always there for me despite groaning every time I would gush over Mai. You were also the first one who showed up by my side to comfort me, but I pushed you away trying to hide my tears from the world. I wanted to be strong; I knew that the world wasn’t over. It was only years later that I found out that Mai left for my sake, they had found out and given her a choice, they would only keep one, her or me. Mai had made the choice for me; she left her top spot in senbatsu because of me. It was because of my childish confession that everything turned out like this. The guilt that I feel has never left and probably never will.
I ran into Megumi’s arms and with your support I allowed myself to date her. It was a completely different type of romance, one filled with passion that I didn’t know I had. Megumi was different from Mai but loved and spoiled me no less. I felt comfortable with her, and at this point I had stopped caring about the company. I no longer cared not after Mai, I felt hatred towards Aki P and all the staff for allowing her to graduate. Both you and Megumi tried to convince me that I shouldn’t hate but I couldn’t help it.
This continued for a long time, my hatred towards the company that was until Aki P took time to sit me and Megumi down. K4th, Oshibe to Meshibe to Yoru no Chouchou. That was Meetan and I’s so called fan service song. He wrote it for us – they all knew about our relationship. He had told the staff not to do to Megumi the same thing that they did to Mai. That was the first time I had been thankful and didn’t think of the staff in disgust since Mai graduated.
You were always curious as to why Megumi and I had decided to break up, or in truth why she has chosen to break it off with me. I never told you, I was too busy running into your arms and crying. Everyone thought that I was crying because of the shuffle, but that was only part of it. As if to make things worse, Megumi chose to break up with me backstage that night. The thing that made it worse was that I believed that she would be the one who would be by my side forever. She was indeed leaving, although not like Mai did less than a year ago, it was still heart breaking for me.
She promised that we would still stay friends, and we did. That surprised everyone who knew about our secret relationship. I couldn’t bring myself to hate Megumi who had quite literally changed my life during those months where she and I were dating. It was the first time when I truly believed that people who broke up, could actually stay friends.
Somewhere in that year we became closer and closer, maybe it was because we were in the same production company. Who knows, I just know that somewhere in that time you became almost as important as Megumi, someone who I couldn’t imagine outside of my life.
When was it that my heart started beating for you? That’s a wonderful question; even I don’t know the answer. Somewhere between the teasing, the fooling around, the hugs, and the kisses on the cheek I had unknowingly started to fall for you. Or maybe it was your gentleness, your kindness, your love, or maybe even your tsundereness that had started to drag me towards you.
I loved everything about you, love made me such a fool, but I don’t regret it at all. The little things that you would do, the hugs you would give me, the kisses you would sneak, and those longing glances when we were performing. Every little thing only made me love you anymore, only made me wonder why I had not fallen for you sooner. Especially that night when you told me, “You know I was in love with you the whole time. I wanted to be the one for you when Mai and you broke up; I wanted to be the one you loved. I never imagined that you would actually end up dating me; I thought it was just a hopeless crush and I should have given up on it. I’m glad I didn’t.”
I’m glad you didn’t give up on me, or the possibility of the two of us. It was then that I swore forever to make up for the pain I made you feel, for every time I would gush about other girls. I was willing to spend my whole life making everything up, I honestly though that the third time would be the charm. However like every other time, my dream was shattered but it wasn’t your fault I can’t blame you.
It hurt you know, finding out that you were dating a man from the newspapers. I knew that you admired him and the other people from EXILE. I would have never thought that you would be dating him and would willingly give up AKB48, give up Team K, give up me for him. I met him the other day you know, he was to be honest a nice guy. He will be someone that will be able to bring you happiness, something that I obviously couldn’t do. I’ll support you; I will. It’s time for me to grow up. We had already been drifting away before that and it was really only matter of time before we broke up for good.
I just want to say, I’m sorry for everything I put you through. This is probably why you chose to break up because I’m such an indecisive person. You were the one who would always agree, support and spoil me yet I took you for given. I took all three of you for given; I never stopped to think how you felt, how they felt. I’m sorry that I was such a spoiled child, but being sorry won’t bring you all back. I’m sorry; I promise I’ll grow up now, for whoever is unlucky enough to love me in the future.
Sotsugyou Omedetou
Kasai Tomomi
“Tomomi, what are you reading?” the girl who just entered my room asked curiously trying to sneak a look at my letter. “It’s nothing. I thought you weren’t going to be home so soon, didn’t you have lessons?” I asked, trying to hide the letter from her. “Oh it got cancelled, I thought I’d head home early for our date~” she told be happily, almost like a joyful chlid and gave me a tight hug. “Let me get ready okay? And no peeking, you damn pervert.” I jokingly berated her before pushing her out the door.
“Mou, it was an accident! It’s not like I-“She tried to argue back but was only greeted by the door I just shut. Walking back towards my desk I put the letter back into the evelope with your name on it. I gently placed it back into my drawer, staring for a moment. ‘The letter was never meant to be sent, some things were better left unsaid.’ I told myself before shutting the drawer and locking it again.
I looked at the photoframes on my desk fondly, there were quite a few pictures but only one stood out to me. The picture you and I took on your graduation, the last time I saw you.
Tomochin, wherever you are, I hope you the best.
I’ve moved on too, I told you I’d be strong.
Although I’m surprised that the love of my life would turn out to be another Tomomi
To be exact, AKB48 Team K member
Nakatsuka Tomomi.
____
what can i say, i like em crack endings. this is still far less angsty than mah nacchan/miichan and atsugon anyways
I really enjoy procrastinating... I'm so screwed for school. As per request from the Dino I'm going to post up the fic that I wrote for her.
Mata Ne - Nonaka Misato, Matsui Sakiko, Umeda Ayaka
It was a rather normal day at the theater, nothing out of the ordinary. Except tonight was Team K’s performance and all the members but Nonaka Misato was here for rehearsal. “Have you tried phoning her?” Sayaka asked concernedly, the thought running through her mind being ‘It isn’t like Micha to skip rehearsal.’ “I tried; it keeps on giving me the voicemail.” Umeda said while continuing to frantically phone her best friend. Everyone was huddled on the stage trying to figure out where Misato was. That is everyone except her other best friend, Matsui Sakiko.
“I don’t have a good feeling about this… Something just doesn’t feel right.” Sakiko muttered to herself while sitting at the back of the theater, away from the others. “We can’t postpone the rehearsal any later. We will just have to call someone to fill in for her tonight.”Announced Togosaki ushering all the girls to get ready, while he phoned one of the Team 4 members to substitute for Nonaka.
With the arrival of Abe Maria, the rehearsal kicked off despite the worried looks that everyone shared. There was an uneasy air that filled the theater no matter how much Sae and Yuko tried to distract everyone. Rehearsal ended and everyone fell into a web of silence, nobody was willing to talk about the thoughts that were running wild in their heads at that moment.
The time of the performance slowly creeped closer as they each tried to push out whatever thoughts filled their heads and put on a smile for the viewers. “Come on guys! We still have to perform, put a smile on your face.” Sayaka said trying to cheer everyone up. “She’s right…” muttered Sakiko from next to Umeda, they were holding hands tightly. Everyone turned their attention to the two, who tried their best to put on a smile and slowly everyone else around them put on their brightest smiles. It was work time.
Everything was going well, until the MC portion of the performance when Togosaki walked onto stage interrupting Yuko who was in the middle of a joke. He had a serious look on his face, and all the members knew what the announcement was going to be about. Everyone else below the stage looked on with anticipation but little did they know the words to leave his mouth were, “This afternoon, a little after 2:00pm one of our members were involved in a fatal accident. As management, we believe that it would be best to cancel the theatre performance for the sake of the members. The one involved in the accident, was our own Team K’s Nonaka Misato. Who was announced dead on arrival from her injuries, I am truly sorry and offer my condolences to everyone.”
A little less than 3 hours ago -
Nonaka Misato was staring at her cell phone, it was almost time to gather at the theatre and she was going to be late at the rate that this taxi was going. “Do you think we could go-“ She started to ask the taxi driver beside her, but suddenly felt her body jerk forward hitting the dashboard of the car. “Ugh, feels like I had too much to drink again.” She muttered to herself, trying to pull herself up but she felt something crushing her body. “W-what’s going on?” she thought to herself while beginning to freak out, she could feel blood trickling from the side of my head. The taxi she was in had been rammed into by a bus hitting Micha’s side of the car. It had effectively deformed the shape of the car and on impact Micha’s head had hit the dashboard at an alarming rate. ‘Am I going to die? Here? Now? I pray to the gods that they wouldn’t take my life away so soon, I still had so much more with life.’ She thought to herself, finding that it was getting hard to even keep her eyes open. People started to flash through her head, Mom, Dad, Ayaka, Sakiko. ‘I-I can’t die now, Sakiko still owes me a meal! I still need to beat those two and become center of senbatsu! I-I still have so much things to tell them.’ With that thought she felt herself getting dizzy and falling into a slumber, an eternal slumber.
-
“No. We’ll continue with the performance.” Sayaka said strongly despite the tears gushing out of her eyes, “We’ll continue for Micha’s sake, she wouldn’t want to see us stopping midway just to grieve for her.” Everyone else just nodded their head, afraid that they would break down if they were to even say a thing.
“Thank you all for coming tonight.” Concluded Sayaka who was the only one who had stopped crying by the end of the show. Bowing one last time, the performance for the night ended and everyone rushed back to the dressing room. Back in the dressing room everyone broke down into tears once again, hugging whoever was closest to them and trying to seek words of comfort. That is everyone but the two best friends of the deceased; they just stood at the door staring lifelessly into the eyes of one another.
Yuko looked up from the crying Tomomi who she was trying to calm down and noticed the two lifeless members. “Tomomi, everything’s going to be alright. Go to Sayaka, I need to talk with Umechan and Sakippe.” She whispered into the whimpering Tomomi’s ear before gently guiding her to Sayaka. Taking a deep breath she walked towards the door where the two were standing.
Putting a hand on Umechan’s shoulder she asked the two if they were alright only to get no reply. After trying to coax a reply out of the two a couple more times, Yuko walked back towards Sayaka and whispered into her ears, “It’s like they’ve set up a shield for themselves, and won’t allow anyone through it. They won’t reply to me at all.”
No matter what the other members tried to do, they just continued to stare at each other as if they were in another world. They just stood there staring at each other and ignored every one of the members, only slightly moving aside when one of the members gave up and left. It didn’t matter if the members left, they weren’t being disrespectful, and they just all had their own way of coping with the loss of a dear friend.
Days continued and everyone soon came to understand that their tears would do nothing to bring back a beloved member. Many of them choose to be like Umeda who put all her emotions into dance practice and schedules hoping that it would be able to numb away the pain. Umeda knew that she and Sakiko had to continue on for Micha’s sake, they were the ones left to fulfil her dream. Although it was criticized, AKB48 continued with their performances and activities despite the loss of a member. The only thing that changed was that every single member in AKB48, even a lot of the members from the sister groups started wearing a pin on their chest. The pin was created by the only remaining member of 6th gen, Takajo Aki of Team A. The design was simple, a hand drawn lily with “美”written on top of it.
While Umeda was working herself to death and making everyone worry about her well being, Sakiko had chosen another way of grieving. She chose to lock herself at home in the piano room that Micha and her often spent their days in. Skipping class, lessons, and her few schedules she continued to furiously play the music that she had once played for Micha. They both had their own way of grieving but like all the other members, they made it there for performances. That is because every single one of them knew that Micha who was always there for theatre shows would not want them to cancel them just for her sake.
Theatre shows continued and if anything, the two shined even more brightly than before because they were no longer performing just for themselves and the audience. They were also performing on behalf of Micha, who although was no longer physically by their side they both firmly believed that she was watching over the both of them somewhere. When invited to Micha’s funeral they both politely refused with the reasoning that they would not be able to live on if they had to see the last moments of their best friend.
It was another one of those days, the day of Team K’s performance but this time both of them put far more effort into their dance. That was because of who they saw the back of the audience, to any other member it would have just been plain strange to see a middle aged woman alone in the crowd but to the two of them who knew her it meant to try even harder than before. The performance ended without a problem like many of the performances nowadays and everyone returned back stage.
“Umeda-san, Matsui-san can I please have a word with you?” the unknown woman accompanying Togosaki said after entering the dressing room where everyone was once again watching the two in silence. It was almost habitual for the members to watch the two stare at each other lifelessly after performances, as if they were able to talk to each other with just their eyes. “Nonaka-san…” They both greeted with a slight nod before walking towards the woman.
Togosaki lead the three towards an empty staff room before bidding the three goodbye, knowing well of who would be brought up in the conversation they were to have. “Are you two doing all right? I know you two refused to come to the funeral, it must be hard for the two of you.” Mrs. Nonaka said trying to comfort the two girls. “Misato always talked about you two a lot, she was very fond of the both of you.” She continued without thinking and without noticing how hard Sakiko was clenching onto Umeda’s hand.
“Misato’s a wonderful girl; she will definitely be missed but think of it this way she’s in a better place now. We were sorting through her stuff as per her wishes and we found these two letters in her drawer. She had a habit of writing letters whenever she felt like it but never sent these two. I thought you might want to have it, see what she had to say. Everything will get better.” She said with an almost detached tone as if she hasn’t just lost her daughter less than a month ago.
“Don’t you think you’re getting over it too easily?!” shouted Sakiko who couldn’t stand the woman any longer, speaking as if she was already over the loss of her daughter.“You aren’t the one who lost their only daughter. I don’t think you have any right to say anything. For my daughter’s sake I’ll forgive you. But stop your weeping and think for a while. Young ones don’t know how to use their brains anymore.” Mrs. Nonaka replied calmly, but inside she was dying just like the two standing in front of her.
The memories flooded her, the memories of Misato as a baby, as a child, having her cling to her dress when she tried to drop her off at preschool. When Misato made her first friend and proudly told her mother, or when she boasted about her crooked drawings that were praised by the teacher. Each and every memory of her only child would flood her memories at night, bringing with them never ending tears and nightmares. The only reason why she could be strong right now is because of Micha, her child would never want to see everyone so depressed, so in pain over her.
Mrs. Nonaka gently placed the two letters on the table before turning around and walking out of the room leaving Sakiko speechless. “I did something wrong didn’t I?” Sakiko asked the air next to her, as if Micha was there. While Sakiko was talking to air, Umechan grabbed the letter with her name written on it with hearts. Her hands shaking as she struggled to open the envelope without ripping it. Sakiko just stared at her as she read it as if contemplating if she would be ready to read her letter too.
Umechan,
I’m not too sure what to write about; in fact I’m not too sure about why I’m writing. I dreamt of you the other day, we were fooling around in a school. We pushed Sakiko off the stairs and she was chasing us through the whole school for revenge. You and Sakiko are both so precious to me; I want us to be friends forever. No matter what happens, we’re going to be old married ladies that meet up for tea times while making our children play together. I really look forward to all of that, honestly I never thought we’d become such good friends you and I. It felt so weird at first when we started to get close to each other because I felt like you weren’t willing to accept us or the new Team K. It’s understandable though as an original K member, but over time you opened up and we were allowed to see a different side of you. Not just that cool dancer who was always there to offer advice but never around to chat with.
So let’s be best friends forever, okay? I sound really childish writing this and surely you would laugh at me that’s why I’m going to wait a while before I send this, maybe when you stop teasing me over every little thing. I know that’s just your way of showing your love to me though and I love you for it. I don’t want you to change in any type of way, so stay the same forever, I like you just the way you are. I’m going to definitely get into senbatsu next year and you better be there too! Can’t let you and Sakippe have all the fun now can I? I’m going to definitely outrank the two of you, watch it Umechan I’m going to be the center of undergirls!
Your absolute best friend
(You know you love me most, even more than Sakiko!)
Nonaka Misato
By the middle of the letter Umeda had tears flowing freely down her face and by the end she had fallen on the floor as her legs collapsed from under her. All the tears that she had been trying her best to hold back were gushing out. Sakiko went to hug her but was pushed away, “Read your letter.” Umeda choked out. Looking at the letter on the table and back towards Umeda she shook her head, “I can’t do it.” Sakiko feared what would possibly be written in her letter if the usually reserved and calm Umeda has broken down. “I’m not ready for it.” She continued before walking out the door. “You’re going to regret it.” Umeda said watching Sakiko leave the room without the letter.
Another week passed by without the mention of the letter but Umeda had started to stress herself less and was slowly but surely returning back to normal well as normal as she could be. Sakiko on the other hand continued with her irresponsible acts and her condition was only getting worse.
“When was the last time you slept properly?” Umeda asked as she approached the sluggish Sakiko after rehearsals. “…Not since…” Sakiko replied hinting towards a forbidden topic, nobody in the group dared to mention the name of Nonaka Misato anymore, at least not with the two of them around. Sakiko looked up tiredly wondering if the gods were punishing her, the nightmares had gotten more and more frequent and each time she woke up more fearful than before.
Umeda shook her head before walking back into the dressing room and leaving Sakiko alone on the stage. Being left all alone on the stage Sakiko allowed herself to fall onto her back and closed to her eyes in hopes that she would be able to have a nap. Her built up fatigue soon hit her and she fell into slumber.
For the first time in what felt like forever it was actually a dreamless sleep, in the midst of her slumber she felt someone moving her head into their lap but she shrugged it off and continued sleeping. Only a little later she felt someone patting her head and she jerked up in shock. “Micha!” she shouted only to be disappointed to find that it was just Umeda.
“I’m sorry I’m not her, but I still think you should read this and stop torturing yourself any longer.” Umeda said while handing her the letter she had left on the table a week ago. On it wrote, Matsui Sakippe with all sorts of kittens drawn everywhere.
Looking down at the letter and back at Umechan she decided that it was time, she couldn’t handle this anymore. If Umechan could find closure with her letter, she could too. Placing the letter into Sakiko’s hands, Umeda lifted herself up and walked back to the dressing room to give Sakiko some privacy.
She felt strangely calm holding onto that letter, it was as if Micha was right beside her urging her to read it. She pulled out the letter and started to read.
Sakiko,
You still owe me a meal, I just need to write it down somewhere because I know I’ll forget about it and you’ll get away with it. You were really awesome during the performance today, is it just me or are you getting prettier. Maybe it’s just me getting used to your ugly face. I joke, I joke, or am I? It’s your own fault for calling me horrendous the other day. You and I have to stop insulting each other; imagine how the fans would react if they ever found out. You know we have to keep up our images, so would you stop derping everywhere on Google+? Soon enough your cat will be scared of you and run away to me.
We sure have come a long way from being research students. I never would have imagined that I would be on the same team as you, always saw myself in Team A instead, you know, far away from you. Who knew we’d become such good friends… I mean I sure didn’t expect it when I first saw you 7th generations. I guess it’s a good thing, I mean I sure can’t imagine myself derping around with anyone else but you. Okay that’s a lie, maybe Umechan too. I think the 3 of us should grow old together, you know keep in contact even after we graduate from AKB48. Don’t you think it would be fun meeting up once in a while and being like ‘Micha I missed you, save me from my evil boss of doom!’ I think it would be fun!
So make sure that no matter what you don’t go losing my phone number okay, or I’ll hire a private investigator to hunt you down~ Oh and stop abusing your poor cat, you know how much he hates being nibbled. Why are you such an S, why do I even know you? Must be one of those bad life choices that mother keeps on talking about, guess have to stick with you a little bit longer though. I love you anyway, I guess.
Your only best friend,
(I seriously mean it, you have no friends.)
Nonaka Misato
She didn’t know if she should cry or laugh, it was as if Micha had never left. She started laughing to herself, they were right Micha wouldn’t want to her to be crying. The members all rushed out when they heard her break out into laughter worrying that the stress made her go insane. Seeing all the members stare at her with bewildered eyes, Sakiko stop her maniacal laughter and told them, “I’m back, sorry for all the problems I caused you all.” Taking a breath of relief Yuko screamed “GROUP HUG!” and everyone under their center’s orders jumped onto Sakiko to welcome her back.
Sakiko just stared at one of the spots in the theatre and smiled, she had seen Nonaka Misato finally smiling back at her.
Wherever you are in the Heavens,
I hope you’re happy.
I’ll be down here fulfilling both our dreams,
Until then we can’t see each other yet.
One day I promise, when I’m old and filled with life stories,
I’ll come and join you.
We can fool around then.
Till then,
Mata ne, Micha.
These Feelings of Graduation - Akimoto Sayaka&Ono Erena
You know this whole thing seemed to be easier than I thought for someone who was never really into the school scene it’s not like I would expect myself to be breaking down or anything. You always see those TV shows where people start crying and worrying over their graduation. Everyone’s been fussing about it this whole year; I’ve come to realize that whenever they mention it I tune them out. I just didn’t understand why this was so important. I may have spent the last three years of my life here, but so what? I’m just leaving here to go to another school…
“Sayaka?” I heard Sae call for me as I entered the school, today was our graduation ceremony. “Morning, where is everyone anyways?” I asked confused as to why there were no people straggling through the halls. “Everyone’s already at the gym for the ceremony, unlike you everyone came early.” Sae playfully scolded me. “You know how uninterested I am in all of this.” I replied before letting myself be dragged to the gym.
It wasn’t long before the ceremony started with Miichan giving her speech. I’ll be honest, I was slightly touched by it but not enough to be crying like my classmates. The ceremony passed by in a blink of an eye and everyone was ushered back to the classroom that had been previously decorated. I looked around and everyone was crying, was this graduation really that important? I guess I’ll never understand these feelings, I’ll probably forget all of this by the time we get together for a reunion. I was just lounging at my desk when some of the younger kids called me outside.
“A-ah Akimoto-senpai, could we have your tie?” The one in the middle asked, although I must say all of them looked the same to me. I was confused, my tie? “Uh, sure why not.” I told the three of them who seemed overjoyed at my response. I’ll never understand any of these graduation traditions, I thought to myself while pulling off my tie and handing it to one of the girls. “T-thank you senpai.”They said while bowing and then they ran away. Strange children…
“So, who were the kids asking for your tie?” Sae teased as I walked towards her. “Who knows, they didn’t introduce themselves. Do you know why they asked for it?” I asked, getting more curious about this whole graduation tradition thing. “You mean you don’t know?!” Sae shouted which drew the attention of some of the other people in the classroom. “W-wait are you telling me you gave the girl your tie without knowing what it meant?!” Yuka piped in almost screaming.
“Did I do something wrong?” I said practically cowering from all of their gazes, was I not supposed to hand it over or something? “Oh my god Sayaka, I knew you were dense and all but to do something like this.” Umechan groaned from beside Yuka. Okay, now I’m scared I didn’t like vow to marry her or anything right? I didn’t swear on my life that I’d protect her or something right? “…Okay Sayaka, listen carefully. This is a school tradition, if someone that asks for your tie if you don’t want to give them false hope you don’t give them to the kid. You basically just promised to go to that sakura tree outside of the school to listen to the kid confess her undying love for you. Way to like give the kid false hope and then kill her.” Sae lectured from beside me, my face paled at the idea. I thought I was finally done with all those confessions, I mean I had to run away from them ever single them they came at me with like hearts in their eyes. Can’t I get a day without a kouhai coming to me to confess?
I was counting down the minutes before I had to go meet the kouhai that was going to be confessing to me, I couldn’t even remember what she looked like. Everyone was just looking at me in pity, nobody wanted to me in my spot right now. I was going to break a little girl’s heart, the worse thing I could ever do my graduation date. My hands were getting sweatier as the time came and my grasp on my graduation certificate iron tight. “I-I don’t think I’m ready for this.” I told Sae honestly as she pushed me out the door. “Sayaka, if you don’t go, the girl will hate on you forever and be heartbroken.” She told me again, I know but I just don’t want to see her cry in front of me. I’m not good with crying girls, I might just give in and agree to date her and everything will go downhill from there.
I slowly dragged myself towards that sakura tree outside of our school. I looked through the window and was surprised that there was nobody there already. I guess it’s because everyone knew about the school traditions, maybe I’m just the only person in school who’s never heard about it. By the time I got outside I saw that she was already outside. It was the one on the left that asked for my tie, not the one that I gave it to. She was holding onto my tie in her hands and fidgeting.
Oh god what am I doing here I thought to myself as my fight or flee response kicked in. Just when I was about to run away she noticed that I was there are I froze up in mid-flight. “S-senpai!” You stuttered out as I robotically turned to walk towards you. At this point, my common sense has fled me. Never have I been so nervous, I might as well be the one confessing instead. So we just stood there in front of each other fidgeting and trying our best not to look each other in the eyes.
"Uhm, uh...hi." I managed to stutter out, oh wow where did the usually courageous Akimoto go? She blushed okay, she freaking blushed like a shy little girl. What am I supposed to do, there's no way that I'll be getting out of this alive. W-wait, isn't this kid a first year? A first year is confessing to me. What in the world did I do to deserve this type of torture.
"S-senpai! I-I..." She began stuttering out, she looked like she was almost going to faint. "STOP. Let me explain first." I shouted, what in the world possessed me to say that. She was staring at me expectantly now and I felt like I was dying under the pressure. "I'll be honest I didn't even know anything about this tradition thing. i'm sorry if I gave you false hope or something, I really didn't mean it." I told her honestly before bowing down my head in apology.
I could hear her sniffling, oh god did I make her cry, I'm not supposed to make girls cry. I'll be repenting over this for the rest of my life. "S-senpai. can you listen to me." I heard her ask and I lifted my head up to face her and whatever doom would come next. You were still blushing and your eyes tinged red, “I don’t care if you don’t want to date me or not. J-Just hear me out.” You were fidgeting uncomfortably but then again if I were in your spot I would too. This must be the most uncomfortable thing to do ever, I mean confessing your love to someone who probably doesn’t like you. I’d be far too shy to do something like this.
I gulped waiting for her to get everything over with. In the most shojou manga way ever she told me, “Senpai! I like you, please go out with me.” I wanted to run away to be honest, I’m not good with this type of thing. Never been and probably never will be. “I-I don’t think I’m ready for something like this.” I stuttered out a reply before turning my head away so I wouldn’t see her reaction. It was true; I wasn’t ready for something like a relationship. Actually it was more like the thought of dating someone never passed me, let alone dating a younger girl. It was always like I thought more about school and sports than I thought about dating someone. You see all those cliché movies and then you just laugh at them, they don’t make me d’aw like the other girls. I’m just not interested in any of this.
“Can you just give me a chance?” You asked me, I was so surprised that you didn’t look like you were going to cry at all instead you just stared at me determinedly. “Uhm… ah… let’s be friends?” I told her honestly, friends are always good. Maybe we can work something out from there, I don’t mind having another friend. You just stared at me thinking about what you should say next, my hands were getting sweaty again, too much drama today. “Sure.” You told me with a bright smile; it was only then that I realized how cute you were. I couldn’t possibly be turning gay right? We exchanged phone numbers I was finally able to drag myself back to the classroom where Sae was waiting for my ‘juicy details’.
“So, how’d it go? Don’t tell me you made the girl cry?!” Sae asked jokingly, she knew I could never bring myself to make a girl cry. “It went…well.” I told her cryptically, who knows what could happen from all of this. Together the two of us left the school for the last time, my hands hanging over Sae’s shoulder in a brotherly way. We had gotten right outside the gate when I got a text.
Senpai I know you’re still awkward about everything.
But do you think we could meet up sometime?
You can bring friends if you want.
Even Miyazawa Senpai
Please reply.
Ono Erena
My face flushed from the idea and I quickly closed my phone so that Sae wouldn’t read the message. Who knows maybe graduation isn’t that bad after all.