JPHiP Forum
AKB48 Fanfics => AKB48 Fanfics => Topic started by: yuukimoko on April 14, 2013, 07:25:46 PM
-
She would always remind herself that she is lonely, that she doesn't has friends, that other's wouldn't accept her. But, I never believed any of that was completly true.
My exit, is when you start to understand, you aren't alone anymore.
'Yuki! let's go to the beach!' Rena smiled and took Yuki's hand in hers, walking beside her
'Yeah yeah! Let's go! I wanna see your sexy body in bikini' Sae's pervert was covered with blood running from her nose. Such a pervert, you could never guess if she really was a pervert. She would always say she is, but when you would talk about something perverted beside her she would blush and be embrrassed. When you would try to be a perv about her body, the true girl in her would make her really cute to tease. After all she is just a girl, behind the 'boy act' that she always put on. Her gentle side would always make people like her, even if anger got the best of her sometimes, she is still a very good friend. Listening to your problems, and trying to help always, a true friend in the most strange or dangerous actions. Sae would always be beside you.Through, emotions got the best of her.
'Mou~ you perv!' Yuki shouted and blushed feeling embrrassed, she continued walking out of the school
'Come on Yuki! It'll be fun! we'll be there together' Rena tried, knowing that she could get to Yuki's weak spot, she smiled. Rena always know how to make Yuki feel better, she could cheer her up and have fun together.Even if I don't remember talking very much with Rena, I know her pressence was always calming a little, she could use her words and warm actions very well. Even if I felt tricked by her a few times, I know Rena always wanted to be, or tried to be friends with me. It was me that made it impossible sometimes. Her love thru Yuki was strong, I never found out how she fell in love with Yuki but it was very visible, her feelings. She may have tried to crush me, in a game I could have won if I tried more, no, no game, in relationships. She is a great friend that would stand up for you, she would try everything to make you happy, she does her best in everything. And still, emotions got the best of her.
'Mou...ok ok! we'll go but Im not wearing bikini!' Yuki shouted and walked faster until I couldn't see her anymore. Rena and Sae high-fived and ran after her.
So paceful....so much paceful without me. Do they realize that that? Have anyone seen that I wasn't around anymore? Were they....even a little....missing me?Worrying about me? Wanting to know how I am doing?
I would say that I don;t believe they would do that, but I would lie again. I talked to every one of them , in less than a week. But I did it so they would stop it, all that worrying,missing. I made all of them to not care. I did it because I am selfish.
I grab my books and walk home, not stoping anywhere, observing the ones I walked past.
I have realized a few days ago, that I hadn't really talked, like having a real conversation with anyone beside my family. I only had really small talks with Rena once, Sae once or twince I think, and with Yuko on the phone a few times. But They all were small small talks, I could remember everything I told them and what they told me, so little we talked. But that's good, I smile in my selfishness.
My bed feels soft but cold on my back as I lay there in my pajama. I can think about everthing that I want to think, I could do anything, I have so much time free. But I did nothing for the past few days than eat, sleep and watch my laptop. If only I would be doing something with the laptop, but all I do is sit in front of it and ,out of habit, waiting ,expecting a message. But I would always remind myself that I'll never get one again because that's what I want, wanting to protect the others from myself, I closed almost completly.
Like when Yuki would tell me about the walls she had formed around her, I would just smile at her , knowing that they weren't so strong as she had claimed them to be. She would always say that only I could break them, that only I hold the key to her heart. She would always run after me when I would leave, she would always be there, because she said she would always be mine. Lies are so sweet but so hurtful. The walls around me are only becoming bigger as I try to run away from them all.
Ring Ring Ring 'OSHIRI~OSHIRI~'
I smile at the ring tone and pick up the phone, knowing it is Yuko
'Hey Yuko'
'Hey Mayu! What are you doing?'
'At my laptop, like usually, what did you expected?' I smirk
'Hehe, and here I was wondering if you would want to go out'
'Very amusing haha' I smile hearing her laugh ' so what are you doing? must be something more interesting than what Im doing'
'well it is! I'm going shopping!' I hear her talk happy
2o minutes later we had finally closed the phones, we never talk about something, we talk random and there are moments when neither talks . But I am happy to get messages from her or calls, they remind me that I still have a friend with who I can talk about anything.
I stalked her on facebook, ok? I can be honest about this now, everyday I would open her page and see if she had posted anything. I felt like messaging her and begging her to make her account not visible to these who aren;t in her friend list, but I know that would have been rejected and she would have been mad. I told her to not talk to me anymore, I made her so much pain, and yet here am I, stalking her fb accout cuz I miss her? Im not only a coward but also a stupid ex-lover stalked.
I guess I said enough, only speaching my mind a little, from all the thinking I do everyday. I should really try to find something to do with my life, beside hurting people with words and all. Maybe Ill start a manga.....I take out paper and draw a little, then stop and write again.
Yuki...my beautiful, sweet, precious Yuki. You don't see it maybe, but you have finally found friends who will try to be there for you always. You have your walls almost at the gound, no matter how much you try now, you become addicted to talking to others about your daily life, about what hurts you and about what makes you happy. You got used and addicted to the people how call you friend, and are there for you. Not like me.
I hope though that...maybe you will remember me for a while longer. Because I will surely remember you all my life, I always had this good memory of people how had an impact on me.
I may have become a real 'badass' or 'devil' . I may not be honest, or even aware of my emotions anymore. I may love or not love you anymore.
But I.......
Oh! My stage ends here hah. Then, let's meet again one day nee. This is my exit stage, you go to the next stage and all the others but I lost the game in the first moment that I fist lied to you.
This is my true farewell.
-
There is a lack of action here I guess :sweatdrop:
but I think that you wanted to hit with a lot of emotions nee? it felt like you wanted to explain a hole life in a few lines and I think it got pretty good :)
-
Ah.. about MayuxYuki story...
They were ex... why did they break up?
Are they going to see each other again?
Can't wait to find out what's going to happen to them
Thank you for the start of the new fic
:twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
-
Why mayu would want to lock herself in her walls? To push away others?
I really hope that there is a continuation ><
-
This is so FAMILIAR... :nervous
I see myself in Rena... :nervous XD
Good job, Yuuki. I think those who needed got the message...
But does it change anything I wonder...
You know, I think this story doesn't tell because it's from Mayu's POV but...
Rena, Yuki and Sae, I think they all think about Mayu and care about her as a friend and Sae might even have a huge crush...
I'll be waiting for more updates from you~
:deco:
-
Mayu being an online stalker
You feel rather saddened yet kinda creeped out at the fact but hope she can get away from the laptop and be able to face the ex-lover
-
She would say that she loves me, she would cry and be angry thinking that I didn't care at all about her, she would leave me and come back until she really left.But ,I never wanted to believe that it would be like this, I really care even now about her.
Your exit is not here, because you are strong, you are precious.
'Hey Sae! Come'on, we are gonna have ice cream!' Yuki shouted happy after Sae, even though she couldn't see her, she knew that Sae entered this room. But she didn't know that I was here.
Sae give me one last look, a pained and hurt look before mumbbling 'What ever..' and ran out the room with forced moves.
I couldn't help but smile, but whoever would have looked in my eyes would have seen my pain...eyes don't lie hah.
I whispered 'Thank you..' and turned to look at all of them as they left the school. My smile only faded after they all were gone.
I lean on the opened window and enjoy the wind as it hit my cold yet warm skin. I always had cold hands, as I had named myself a vampire for this. My fascination for vampires is one that I could talk a lot about, because I felt like I resembled them in a way. Cold, always cold, smiling, always lying. I am a vampire, but I don't suck blood. I suck on the emotions and feelings people have, even if they affect me , all of them, they made feel alive. Eating, no....feeding on human emotions, it was something I was doing in my loneliness. Making them all feel something for me or for another, hate,love,admiration, adoration. But there was a line between all emotions, and between love and hate is a very tin one.
I could also be named a succubus I guess, because I like making people like me sometimes. But most of the time I try to make friends, even if I'm not good at it. I'm a succubus and a vampire, and night is my element..... but the feeling of another's body is a home.
Ghee! Too much mysteryous talk, like Sae would say, I feel like puking from so much sweetness . I giggle and walk home, Sae really makes my day like that sometimes.
Back in my cold bed, with my naked back on the soft sheets it feels comforting for a moment. But every time I would find comfort, my head starts thinking and regreting again, guilt washing over me. I sit up and look at my naked body, I feel disgusted with myself. My hair still wet from the hot bath and naked, my hands are cold again. They were warm for only 5 minutes or so. I sigh and look at a photo with Sae ,Yuki and Rena.
Am I really a slut....? what am I ?
It got so complicated.... we only wanted to make friends at the beggining, when Yuki was still mine . We had a big meeting with kids from other schools and from other classes, the meeting was made by Takamina. She , I don't know what was her....oh yeah, she wanted to talk about normal things and everyone to become friends, I remember now. But because of these meetings we meet Sae and Rena and the others, it was then that the gear started moving.
Hehe, I like the word gear. I smile, the darkness disappearing for a second.
I love ....no, I loved Yuki. In the moment I loved Yuki, and Yuki was mine already and I was hers, Rena fell for Yuki. How did that happen? Did they know each other before? Was their relation more deep than I thought? I don't know, I would never find out probably.
As Rena had fell for Yuki, Yuki still loved me, I was her moon and she was my sun. But again, around that time I think I found out that Sae had fallen for me. I found out how and why but it felt a little strange, maybe because both Rena and Sae were strange to me. They were strangers that suddenly appeared and turned my world around.
So....Sae was in love with me, Rena was in love with Yuki, Yuki was in love with me, and I was in love with Yuki.
I sigh again, I didn't care about my naked and disgusting body as I sat there on the sheets. I closed my eyes, and with them I closed my thoughts too. There are still a lot of days to think about this hah, no one come to get me out of here yet.I'm still stuck on this stage.
But even if Sae is angry, mad at me. Even if she hates me, she is still so adorable....warm and soft......
Today.....I forgot to check my inbox.....but I know I don't want to open it.....
-
Can be that the only day she forgot to check her inbox, she got a mail? ><
-
I dunno what to say...
Nice update
:thumbup
-
Ah.. so it was Takamina's idea meeting more people, that led to all the changes in Yuki's and Mayu's love life
Okay with Sae and Rena fell in love with Mayu and Yuki respectively... why would that cause them to break up with each other?
If Mayu and Yuki love each other... why would they care of others falling in love with them... Just turn them down...?!
Honestly.. I don't get it why would they break up :?
Anyhow... I like the way you described Mayu... as a vampire and a succubus... sucking people mind, emotion and soul...
What's going to happen next... with Mayu, Yuki, Sae and Rena?
Why did Mayu not want to check her email?
Can't wait to find out more
Thank you for the lovely update
:wub: :inlove: :heart: :love:
-
Mayu should open her inbox. I want to see what she finds.
Please let Mayu open her inbox!
-
Very nice story that you have there, so is that mean, rectangle love? But still, I don't get it....if Mayu and Yuki are in love with each other why don't they just still be a lover...why do they want to break up? Is that mean someone is cheating? Well, I can see Rena and Yuki are very close with each other....so I thought Yuki is the one who's cheating with Mayu....am I right? And Sae seems to be a good friend of Mayu and always be there beside her...right? Correct me if I'm wrong...but I can see that Sae was like been played by Mayu, maybe that's why she get angry and hate Mayu.....
By the way.....I really like this story can't wait to see what happen next.. :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
-
I don't think it's fair to judge everything by knowing only Mayu's position...
I agree with Ruka on one thing though...
By the way...I don't think Sae is soft......
We don't know what's on Rena's, Yuki's or Sae's mind, how can we judge anything?
I think Yuki and Mayu are not a couple anymore based on what I read. So does that mean Yuki is now with Rena? Why so? What happened? What's on Yuki's mind?
Is Rena a couple breaker or were things not as smooth going from before?
Sae's feelings... What are they? Does Mayu even know the strength of Sae's heart and emotions?
So many questions and we cannot answer them only by reading Mayu's POV
but overall it's a very nicely written story so far, feels like reading what happened irl
-
Is mayu sick or something?
Maybe that why they break up,sorry if im wrong LOL
Hmm mayuki
-
Mayu is lost in the traffic within the players. She wants to be loved yet not by Sae but the one she loved is with someone else. One interesting fic to follow
-
Is there a limit to how much you can love somebody? I saw this quoted once and I asked myself the same. I think the answer is no, if the love you feel is really pure and strong enough. But I would ask you all now ...... Would you want to torture the one you have feelings for just because that person has the same problem with emotions like you?
I finally saw it, you are making my head dizzy, but I refuse to give in yet
I...I feel like I want to punch her, to punch her and then hug her tightly. Isn't that stupid? Is it my fault that she can't control herself and every time she see's my name she would open the stories I write and read them? And then she would enter on forums or other webpages and would say how hurt she is? I stoped wanting to show my emotions that open, because no one would truly feel or care.
But then, why is it that I'm hurt by the words she writes in sadness and anger? If only she wouldn't be that SOFT......to me she is soft, because her emotions are soft as the feathers and they appear always. The emotions are what make her so soft, even if she says she is 'tough'.
ugh..... I am a little more sad than I was a few minutes before opening this web page.
I got annoyed, mad and then sad and then understanding. Sae only wanted company, maybe she missed me? or maybe she just felt like annoying me. Whatever it was, I give in but I tried to control myself. No matter how it is, Sae is sweet and I know it. I wont lets myself fall mad just because she wants to annoy me or something!
I turn to the web -page where Sae was writting to me and continued the conversation....
20 minutes later
'THEN ACT LIKE IT ALREADY WOMAN!' I almost screamed in the laptop this phrase. I tried! Really! But her words just made me soooo!!!!
She has exagerated. She made me go almost mad, now Im happy for my cyborg face. I roll my eyes at that, she continues talking while i don't respond anymore.Looking at her wall now, it seems she is still the same.
I close the web page and find another one, about signs? Mine is saying ... ' Isolation, opposition, hostility and violent mood swings. Intense melancholy with at times delusions and paranoia. Thoughts even scary to them, a sense of 'me against the world'.'
The heck. Ouch, I just slaped myself on the mouth. I shouldn't be talking ugly. I was so damn innocent before meeting all them. Well innocent about words, the way i dressed, the way i talked, the way i respected the ones around me. But all that changed. I promised when I was little that I will never learn to curse or use ugly words, but I broke my promise to myself. That's why I hate promises, most of the time they can't be kept.
What damn did I do to deserve this?! Maybe just cuz I was so bored with my life, and then I had to fall in love?!
Why doesn't Sae lets me do whatever I want? Why doesn't she just accepts that I can't change my feelings to love her? Why....
Too many questions!!!!!
I opened my inbox, and read the messages I got. I was expecting them, I already knew I would get these. But I don't feel satisfied, I feel both hurt and happy. I want to cry but I want to smile. Emotions are so damn complicated!
I take a deep breath. then another. then another. my chest hurts .
I open a web page, and read comics and amusing jokes, until I smile . I take a break from writting and go to read fanfics in bed.
I rethink it and after 5 minutes of sitting in bed Im back at my laptop.
What I wanted to do in this update? oh yeah, I wanted to write about how I meet Yuki and other things. But it seems I can't anymore do that, so I' ll leave it for tomorrow.
Oh, by the way........ I open the story again and write 'You are sooooooo soft Sae. You get mad so easy, but today's conversation started because I get annoyed when poked. By the way, you are still sweet and soft.'
Maybe I'm really as scary as everyone thinks I am after all. I don't know what everyone is talking about me in school, but I heard they are afraid of me. I knew I am horrible, but whatever. I am a vampire after all.
I smirk and close it. Sae may hate me now, she had been in love with me, or maybe she still is but I only care about her as a friend. She just acted like a adorable kid again, maybe growing up is more hard than I thought since I acted like a kid too.
Hmmm, maybe, just maybe, I'll open that book I want to read.
Let's try this again, tomorrow nee?
-
I'll write what you asked me to write after I update my A.L.I.VE. fic. and thanks to these writings I understand...May
ou
So keep writing these :)
poor Sae...
-
The more you update this fic, the more I feel Mayu is still creeping the shit out of me :nervous
She is obsessive to the max :lol:
-
I want to know more about Mayuki story, it's seems that Sae is angry with Mayu, but I think must be the reason why she is angry...
This is really getting interesting! :w00t: I want to know more about this rectangle love story, and how Yuki met with Mayu, and how both of them met with Sae and Rena, also, the story about Takamina, who's the one that make them met with each other? :huhuh
Can't wait for the next update :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
-
I really feel like i'm seeing myself in this fic
(for the part of lonelines)
pls update soon
reading this fic makes me think 'bout my boring life
(even though i always did it whenever i felt frustrated 'bout it)
-
I can't stend seeing Mayu like this
someone should make her change her mind!!
-
^ Yeah! Agree! And sae u must get your CG! >w<
-
@fuu_kun: I think Sae tried to get CG so many times and was hurt so badly that she
sees no point in trying yet again.
@yuuki-chan: I wrote it!!! I'll post it when I get back home :-)
@everyone: Rena-sama's POV will be posted by me. Yuuki suggeated collaboration and so here I was writing it :-) wait patiently, some things will be explained, but also many questions will arise. Stay tuned!
-
^ Genking king wont ever give up! >w<
me waiting o/
-
Wah... Poor Mayu...
I can see her dilemma... she changed after meeting Sae and Rena...
She was both happy and sad for Sae feeling towards her...
Sae was described as tough on the outside but soft on the inside... so spot on...
How did meeting them lead to all these mess...?
How and Why did they break up?
What's going to happen next...
Can't wait to find out
Thank you for the update
:twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
-
FINALLY IT'S HERE~, Rena's point of view!!! READ AND ENJOY! AND FEEL FREE TO COMMENT!!
Truth
At first it was just a friendly meeting of people who have a thing for writing. Takamina invited us, the chosen ones, to come and join her at the gathering. Many people came and the beginning of our getting-to-know-each-other session was really fun and enjoyable.
I am the person who finds it hard to open up to people and I also have a double personality. I was hurt a lot in the past and bullied so much that when I met these fellow writers I felt I have to put up a different face if I wanted them to like me. It was still me, but more like my other side, which I call Gekikara.
It’s spicy because I love the crazies and I myself am crazy to some extent. I initiated some playful fights and it was really fun, especially because for spectators they looked like real fights. In reality, no one was hurt in the process of fights. I used the creepy laughter, murdering stare, phrases like ‘Nee…okotteru?’ and ‘Bukkorosu!’.
One of the things I always loved about Takamina is that she never was pretending to be who she wasn’t, never tried to show off or mock someone; she always was in her place and always tried to solve arising problems with a clear head, clever thinking. She always put a strong front but I had a hunch she is very delicate inside. I also was a fan of Acchan, always. So later, when I found out the two were dating… I was really happy for the both of them.
Now Takamina disappeared, she ignores my messages, and Acchan appears just from time to time. I feel like we are all drifting apart but the bond, I know it’s still there. What happened to the two, it’s not my job to tell their story, I just don’t think things are going to work out between the two. Back to the topic…
Sae was the first person I got close with there because she always supported me and we soon became friends. She pretends to be a man so I call her by the names she goes: ‘Gakuran’, ‘Youran’ and sometimes add ‘baka’ to her name. We loved this playful banter and it was really fun to just chat like that.
Then one day Mayu and Yuki came and…things changed drastically. From the very first meeting I had this not very good image of Mayu. To me she was just a spoiled brat who was using Yuki to fulfill her needs and to toy around. Yuki… On the first day we already had a friendly face-off and that was the first time I was taken aback by surprise. She had this black aura oozing out of her and she was as good in the fight as I was. I think it was then when she caught my attention for the first time. And if I were to say that later there were times when I disliked something about her, I would be lying.
After the friendly fight was over in a draw we found out some of the writers hated the fights we held and felt disturbed by the mess we did. That was why we left the building and headed to nowhere. We came upon an alley which was far from the lively city areas so it was really good for us to sit and talk.
Yet somehow it all turned into a game. Mayu and Yuki were playing and I and Sae were watching. We felt jealous because the two had a great chemistry and they suited each other, in a way. That was then that I found out Sae has feelings for Mayu; it was still not love but more like a ‘like from the first sight’.
I think Mayu felt guilty for having fun with Yuki while we two were just sitting and staring. She invited us to join the game but Sae was not up for it. I joined them and then I didn’t even notice how Mayu left me with Yuki and went over to Sae. She started the new game with Sae, so Yuki had to put up with me.
Why I say so? She was really reluctant at first but with time passing – thank god – she gave in and we were playing nicely. Things got really interesting though playing games here was not the most important thing. You see, Mayu went to Sae herself, but she got jealous over me playing with Yuki. Where’s the logic? She was the initiator but somehow became the victim? And then she left. Sae went after her. It was then that I finally understood she was a player and that she was using Yuki and manipulating her.
I don’t think I can tell everything… There are so many things to be kept in hiding. After the two left, it was surprising to me when Yuki suggested we go for a walk. We talked a lot, got to know each other a bit more. Even after the four of us met many times in that alley nothing’s changed between me and Yuki. We still were meeting each other and talking and kissing even.
I know it sounds bad but… I dunno the back story of Mayu and Sae but I know they saw each other and ‘played’ behind our backs. Whatever. That is an old story which is better to be forgotten. We all four cheated so in this case you can’t find anyone at fault; well, maybe all four then.
You know, Mayu had a thing for Yuki, I mean, she loved her (I wonder if now what she has for he is love or just not being able to let go). But we all knew she easily got bored – she admitted it herself – so she went to play with Sae sometimes. Of course to Yuki she said she loves only her and spends time only with her.
I actually don’t want to bash Mayu, she’s my friend but… The way she treated Yuki and Sae… She even was talking about bringing me down, making me pay for everything, plans on how to torture me. She said it didn’t matter if Yuki was hurt in the process, what mattered to her was the pain she was gonna give me. And she knew Yuki’s going to go back to her no matter what.
Even Takamina and Acchan found out about her lies and deceiving matters and they kicked her out from our friendly circle. Later she came back, apologizing, saying she had problems in her life. I believe her; I think we all do, just… I had bad things in my life too, really bad things, should I treat people in such a manner too?
Somewhere along the way I fell in love. I was thinking about Yuki every day, I wanted to see her, to kiss her, to nuzzle in her oppai, to hug her tightly and never let go. I wanted to go on dates with her, to watch the sunset, to eat delicious foods with her and just cuddle until the sunrise. Whenever I heard her voice my heart would flutter and I would blush whenever she stared at me with that intense all-knowing look. I never found her actions or words disturbing, and damn she’s so clever, pretty and fun to be with.
Yuki also had a bad past. She was bullied, abandoned by her ex-friends so I think we had mutual understanding for each other because of that (and we still do). She had thick walls built around her heart and didn’t let anyone get close to her as she didn’t want to be hurt again.
I told Yuki that I love her and that I don’t care if she is not mine. What I cared about was for her to be happy. And even now, when we’re just a step away from being an official couple I still care about her happiness the most. She tried to hurt me using cruel words and even some cruel actions but it didn’t work out for her and she understood I was serious. I asked her to give me three years. I said in those three years I am gonna stay by her side and by there for her. She doubted me a lot but so far nearly one year passed and I’m still by her side.
If you think I do so because I promised…it’s only partially true. It’s more because of the way I see her. I love her, I want to be with her, she needs me and I need Yuki too. And I made so many cracks in that wall of hers. She’s slowly opening to me, telling me things, trusting me with her secrets, hopes and everyday life. She trusts me and that is not all.
You see, Yuki broke up with Mayu for a few reasons. There is another I believe but this one I really know. It’s because she caught her lying and she felt like Mayu was toying around too much. I don’t think Yuki could trust her as she trusted me. I never lied to her; I was always true to her and myself. I think in love a person should not possess, should not only take. A person also has to give and show affection and care.
In the beginning Yuki was not able to make decisions herself because it was always Mayu and other people who made decisions for her. With me it’s different. Now she’s smiling more, laughing a lot and enjoying her life. She stopped sulking so much, she doesn’t have her emo modes as much as she did before. She also finally started trusting herself a bit and she became more independent. She knows what she wants and slowly follows it, as I never held her by a leash and I never said things like ‘Don’t leave or I’m going to cut myself.’.
What I really want now is to hug Sae tightly and say that everything’s gonna be okay. I heard she found another tall tower to befriend and being ditched and hurt by Mayu doesn’t mean that your world has come to an end. I want Sae to know I am always there for her as I am there for Yuki, Mayu, Takamina, Acchan and Miichan.
Yes, Miichan is a really close friend of ours and she’s the one I find the most adorable in this friend circle. She’s so sweet, cute; ‘innocent’ and she already had a bad love experience. She was really hurt then but she never lost her poise or cheerfulness and put up a strong front. I really admire that characteristic of hers.
You know, Minegishi-chan was actually my accomplice from the very beginning. She always gave me lots of melonpans, we shared spicy crackers, played pranks on Sae and Takamina. She was, still is and always will be a mood maker.
I don’t know many things about the members of this circle as of yet but there is one thing I certainly know. We are still good friends, all of us, and we all are like a family with strong bonds that are never going to disappear. No matter where we are, what we do, even if we top talking to each other, that bond is never to break and this family is always going to be a crazy family of lambs.
-
Rena brings a sort of neutral POV although sided with Yuki. So Mayu seems to be the black sheep in the crowd in which she took advantage by playing around eventually leading to her own demise.
Although Rena brings up Miichan... I wonder where it'll fit in the story :nervous
-
Wohhh!!!
Rena is so caring for Yuki
her love for Yuki just like a love how it should be for people in definitions
'cause in this kind of generations it's really rare to see that sincere feeling again
mostly people right now is the kind of like Mayu
always hurting someone feeling for his/her own happiness
-
(Using phone, a lot of mistakes, sorry)
Our encounter started with a question and a few helpful words. Nothing out of ordinary. Then we exchanged emails, phone numbers and nicknames. But then there was a lie. A lie that made me realize then how innocent I was. Cuz it wasn't me who told the lie. It was her, Yuki.
Then I realized, I wasn't ready to face the world, but neither Im now
I was an innocent brat who never talked ugly, told whatever I had in mind and liked to write and read about fandom. My innocence then was so irritant cuz these made me afraid of the whole world. Of this world where every kid learns to say fuck when he is mad and where the respect of elders is lost fast.
I was new in writting, and had started in force with a lot of stories. It was a hot summer, by the time I had to change schools and exams where coming ina few weeks. Yuki was writing too, she was writing a lot but she told me she had a lot of ideis and wanted to write more stries, she asked me for an advice on my forum . I was surprised but happy and I answered her with a smile. We met once so i could give her a proper advice and we become friends. I was sincere in everything i was telling her then, i was always grinning and smiling.
Some time passed after that ,and in a time i was bored, which wasnt much then, we made a story together. We got to know each other more and more, but that was just her because she was still lying about something. The guilt finally made her gell me the truth and I was shocked. She apologized a lot and told me that it was her way of protecting herself so I said i wasnt mad and iforgived her, giving her my trademark grin. It was true i wasnt mad, but with her lie i realized i wasnt doing anything to protect myself , i was known by a lot of readers and writers but it didnt make me try to protect myself. I got it then how innocent i was and how sickingly sweet and innocent my stories were.
But that didnt make me lie, i remained the same even if i was thinking a lot about everything i was doing. We talked more and more , we wrote another story together, one that only the two of us knew about. I was truly happy and i thought she was too. I started telling her that i love her and she would tell me the same. We become lovers like that, neither of us asked the other, it was a thing we both knew when we looked at each other, mutual understanding.
The more we were with each other the more we fell in love. I agreed to meet her good friends, Acchamd and Takamina. But i was asked to lie, because she didnt want to lose her friends i was told to lie, i hesitated but accepted. I lied.
Then i saw that i didnt have many friends, and that no one would protect me like Yukis friends protected her.
I asked for a break . And we took a break.
We had a lot of fun alone or with friends , but something happened along the line in my head and i asked myself * I want her all to myself , I love her so much. But what would happen if I lied?* and i tried lying her once and she was sad with what i said, i apologized and told her i was kidding, i kissed her and grinned . I felt guilt with my first lie.
Then we got in big meetings with writters and it was fun at the beggining. I made new friends. But i saw it fast , the way Rena liked spending time with Yuki. I got interesed in Sae because she seemed to like me so i talked toher . But that thing in my head happened again. It was like all the darkness i was hidding in my soul started getting out. I lied again. Then again. Again. Again.Again. Again.
It all stoped inside me, I didnt know what i really felt or reaply wanted anymore. I started playing a game I knew I would lose.
It was an instinct. T make them despite me so in my loneliness I will stop the darkness.
But it didnt work. I accepted all the darkness. I become it in the end.
-
So...is Mayu blaming Yuki for this darkness? Was she lying because Yuki lied once? Really? Or I got something wrong? :? :? :?
-
^ I think Mayu blames herself because after she saw Yuki lying she tried lying too, she got it it was ok to lie and hurt if it was to protect herself but then she couldnt stop lying and she blamed her dark self .and maybe because mayu fell too fast for yuki she was shocked to by lied.,maybe it had too much efect on her that lie?
-
Oh, I see. Well as far as the story goes Rena was not affected by the lie, and we both know that :grin: the lie was not that serious, especially in this world we live. That lie was a bit of a white one. Well, Rena's deeply in love, so she of course sees nothing bad about it :D
-
Mayu was keeping her distance but the Yuki/Rena relationship was forcing towards Sae which was an issue overall
-
did someone just now deleted his/her comment?
oh well...
You know, I don't know why people always expect all the stories to be all happy, to have happy endings and be based only on pervy/lovey-dovey?
Life is cruel and sometimes things happen.
So if the story is about unhappy people there shouldn't be any surprises for kill/hate emotions.
If someone doesn't like it then don't read it. Me and Yuuki, we just wrote it coz inspiration came (some speculate out of personal experience, I can't say it's not true, but it is not necessarily right also)
Anyone else unhappy/not content?
-
I wanna hear Sae's POV!!!!!
Let Sae speak!
-
^ *sigh* why damn is everyone mad at me...... sorrow......
Uff! Just have fun in your holiday Miyu! Its named a holiday to have fun! not for this!
-
^ I'm not mad at you? What made you think I was? Quit being so paranoid yuuki~ no one is mad at you! Well at least I'm not.
I'm having fun but I like to check in on things here!
-
^ ....hmpppfff.......tskkk........nothing. Just have lots of fun!
-
I wanna hear Sae's POV!!!!!
Let Sae speak!
you better not want that... i heard Sae wants to say EVERY TINY DETAIL... so better it be like this... Or if she speaks, then she better leave some things out (those really personal ones)
-
Ano,, are this supose to be saerenamayuki fic right? O_ O me got confuse.. First, rena and yuki tell about writer life, then change to yankee ones.. .-. Hemm are this really are saerenamayuki fic? Hemm.. Hontouni gomenasai :bow:
-
Ano,, are this supose to be saerenamayuki fic right? O_ O me got confuse.. First, rena and yuki tell about writer life, then change to yankee ones.. .-. Hemm are this really are saerenamayuki fic? Hemm.. Hontouni gomenasai :bow:
yup, it's the same. You see, Rena was just friends with Sae and she had no interest in the drama which happened between Sae and Mayu, just to the extent where she felt Sae was hurt and she wanted things to get better. While she cared a lot mostly about Yuki. In this story I think we need Sae's and Yuki's points of view so to understand the story... We're still waiting for collaborating authors to update...
-
^umm.......uhhh.....Do I have any saying in this actually? You know I only told you Rukaeru 'you can post anything you want' just cuz you made me very mad. And when was I actually asked....?......*sigh* what ever, post what you want.....Ill go back to my soft sheel.......Can't wait to read them then
-
^umm.......uhhh.....Do I have any saying in this actually? You know I only told you Rukaeru 'you can post anything you want' just cuz you made me very mad. And when was I actually asked....?......*sigh* what ever, post what you want.....Ill go back to my soft sheel.......Can't wait to read them then
I think it's okay for her to post coz then people will get clearer view of this, nee?
-
^ it feels like you are using my own words on myself but whatever. Ok, they can post them. I'll be waiting to read them.
-
I want mayu pov~ then sae~ lastly yuki pov~
-
I'm weird
Yuki's POV
I'm weird. I'm weird and that's all I am. I'm nothing special but I'm not a total loser. I'm just weird. One of the many things about being weird is that you see a lot of interesting things and a lot of interesting people. You also do things that most people wouldn't do. For example, somehow along the way I started to write fanfiction. I don't know how but I found it interesting when I came across some fics that I liked. After a while I decided to write and I found it really fun. I was happy just being a simple writer writing whatever came to my crazy mind. Soon after though I started branching out to other authors. My first friends were Takamina and Acchan and I was really nervous at first but after a while I got used to them. However there was one thing about me they didn't know. I wasn't actually who I was.
I lied about my identity when I signed up for the fanfic account. I was afraid I'd meet creeps on the internet so I wanted to stay hidden. There were times where Takamina and Acchan wanted to know what I looked like and I just showed them a pic of someone else and not the real me. I had gotten used to lying and it was something that I had done for years. I could look at someone straight in the eyes and lie to them and not care at all. Then one day I wanted to write a fic with someone else. I found someone who I thought would be the perfect partner so I contacted them and we started a fic.
When we weren't writing we were getting to know each other. Of course I told her the fake me and surprisingly she told me her real self. Her name was Mayu and she was around my age at the time. We had a lot of things in common and I thought it was really cool. As time went by and the more time we spent together I found myself becoming attracted to Mayu. There was something about her that made my heart race and body tense. I had the strongest urges to hug her and kiss her and never let her go. I always wanted to be by her side and let no one else have her.
One day I finally decided to tell her the truth about who I really was. I was afraid that she would hate me and I told her if she did it was fine. I told her I would leave but she told me to stay. I was really shocked but she said it was ok and understood why I lied about my identity. Ever since then things were fine and we even became an official couple.
Being with Mayu was something new to me. I had never been in any previous relationships so she was my first love. It was really something special and I thought we had a really strong connection. We would laugh and tease each other and do all kinds of fun things. We would tell stories of what we would do when we're older and together. Mayu would always tease me and sometimes be a major pervert. I would always blush and just wonder how she could be so cheeky with that grin on her face. Mayu was a baka to me but I loved her and she was my baka.
There was a time where Mayu and I wanted to separate and so we did. The alone time hurt me a lot because well I think I'm the type of person who likes to cling on to someone. I become needy and when the person leaves I get desperate. Flash backs of my past reminded me of how lonely I truly was and I didn't really deserve someone like Mayu who still accepted me even after the lie. When we got back together things were back to normal and I was happy. Then one day Takamina asked us to join a group gathering of all the writers. Mayu and I attended and we had lots of fun. There were a lot of people I never knew existed until I went to the gathering. There were two people though that stuck out among all the writers. Little did I know that these two would change my life forever.
Sae was one of the writers I met and she was an interesting person. Tough and funny like a tomboy and I really liked her. She was a down to Earth girl and was really fun to hang around. She was always there to listen to you if you ever had any problems and would give you helpful advice that I've used countless times. Then there was another one named Rena. Rena was really something else. At first she liked fighting a lot and I did too so me and her fought a lot in the most bloodiest battles ever! Then when we sat down and actually talked, I found Rena to be a really sweet and caring girl. She took a lot of interest in me and I liked her but as a friend. I mean I had Mayu and that's all I needed because Mayu was everything to me.
Mayu and I broke up again and it was at that time that things started to change. Sae, Rena, Mayu and I all met up in out own little chat. Things started to get interesting when I saw Sae and Mayu go play off. I wanted to go after them because I felt jealousy towards Sae. No one touches my Mayu but me! However I couldn't do anything so I went with Rena and believe it or not the girl is actually quite fun to be with. We had lots of fun and I found myself growing closer to her but I still belonged to Mayu. My heart was only for her and I wasn't going to let anyone else take it. I may sound cheesy or crazy but hey I was in love what else do you expect? People do crazy things when they're in love. For example I had a special necklace made that said,
"Property of Mayu."
I wore it everyday showing to everyone that I belonged to Mayu only and she was very happy with that. I was happy as well being with Mayu because we got along great and even though we had our fights, we still managed to solve it and get back together. We got back together and I told Rena I couldn't be with her. She was sad but understood and left me alone. Rena was gone but I noticed that Mayu was still talking to Sae. Inside I was just boiling ready to explode and both of them but my personality wouldn't let me and I had to keep it inside. Holding it in isn't good but it's better than exploding and hurting than others.
As time went on though we felt that things weren't going well. Whenever we talked we had awkward chats and or we got into fights. Neither one of us liked it so we decided to end it once and for all. It's been a long time and we've been apart ever since then and I've moved on. I've been single now and I like it that way. I've been going around seeing other people and making new friends. I was actually pretty happy and I like it the way things are. Every once in a while I talk to Sae and Rena and we still have fun. I even started talking to Mayu for once and we had a normal chat. I was good hearing from her and knowing things were well. She's struggling with school so I told her to work hard and I hope she does.
Now I'm happy where I am. I'm smiling more and laughing more. I've been getting more involved with the people around me and I've learned to balance between friends and family. Things are good this way and I think it's really nice that we've come to this peaceful conclusion. There are some who still hang on but they are slowly letting go as well. Sae told me she's found someone else and has moved on and I'm happy for her. Rena has also moved on and decided to stay out of all the drama and move on with her life. I was happy to hear the two were doing fine and it was good to chat with them.
If one were too look at our story, there would be many things they would see. They would see the laughs and good times we had. The sorrows and pains as well. There were times where we were falling and things were collapsing and there were times where we all felt like and actual family there for one another in times of sadness or anger. Even though we are apart, we will always be there for each other and that is what I admire about them. Through the hardest and darkest times, we managed to get through them and now we're just left with the scraps. What happened in the past stays in the past and talking about only brings back painful memories. There is a brighter light now and I think it's going to stay there as long as we all keep moving forward.
-
Is it me or Yuki's POV is clearly showing Yuki ignores/is not ready to accept Rena's feelings towards her?
-
^ maybe Yuki didn't want to talk about Rena for she felt she didn't want to say everything? Not every little detail has to be mention you know?
-
^ maybe Yuki didn't want to talk about Rena for she felt she didn't want to say everything? Not every little detail has to be mention you know?
oh, I see now what you did here :grin:
Good move indeed :twothumbs
-
I dunno.. But me cryin' for real .-. Waiting sae pov~
-
^ You wrote it exactly the way we all imagined it!!! It is so good!!
Thank you, Ruka!!! :deco:
-
That's it, how the world spins round and round.
Because every end has a new beggining, when you close a door, you open another one
In this 'teather' we all play a fictional character. May it be in our family, in games, in stories. They all can be named a play. Only the strong survive? That was never completly true.
In this strange love story, one opened the door, and others followed after.
It was a beggining, it had been something different from all we had experienced before for us all. And we all had a different end.
We might have started because we wanted a friend, someone would accept us with everything, and we might have ended happy with our life changing. We might be happy, strong and we will thank for all that had happened, and to everyone that was with us. (Yuki)
We might have seen it as an interesting drama, but we might have not changed that much. Love might have bloomed inside us and now that become our stregth and happiness. (Rena)
We might have been hurt again and again and again. We might have fallen in wrong with the wrong person in the wrong time but we can move on happy now.We might have become stronger. (Sae)
But some....some of us aren't the same. Some of us might regret it with everything, feeling guilt, hate and disgust. We might have wanted all of it to never happen but now we can't change the past even if we really could. Something like 'I wish I never meet you then...' Its such an old and boring phrase.
Some might live in this memory after a lot of years. Because some of us don't accept reality, or we don't accept ourself. But that's just life, it all moves round and round.
And because I can't change myself back, because I can't forget anything from all that happened. Because I am too weak, because I despite you all a little, all of you that are reading this.
I smirk at this, because now you might feel a little more freaked out.
But that's just me, because this is who I am.
You all have seen a teather in this, but someone, somewhere might have actually lived this. And because of that, someone like me might exist.
And if someone like me exists, you better keep your eyes open. Don't lets anyone in so easy, and if you do then take good, really good care of that person, so it wont become me.
Some of us change, some don't.
Some leave the teather, some don't.
Some are happy, some may regret it every time they will remember it.
Because this is what love is, this is what life is.
You all can leave the teather, both spectators and the ones playing.
We all have a different way of seeing all stories and everything. Never doubt the other's way of seeing, it is true from where he/she sits.
Whatever it is. Life goes on, the earth is moving.
Thank you .
-
...i'm bad at commenting on sad emotional fanfics....
this was really good.....
i feel really sad about Mayuyu.....
crying...... crying lots today.......
............well, it's actually a bit hard on my eyes
when I read with my laptop...
but if I read with my DSi
I can't comment
-
I love this fic!! although it's a little sad but still! :lol:
[size=78%]Please continue!! [/size] :twothumbs [size=78%] [/size]
Can't wait for more!!! XD
-
Waw! Now I know the truth behind it, so Sae and Yuki are in love with Mayu right? And Rena loves Yuki. Looks like Mayu and Yuki are cheating at the same time, but correct me if I'm wrong, Yuki seems know about Mayu and Sae but Mayu doesn't know about Yuki and Rena. Quite interesting here. And Sae found new lovely friend Sayaka and seems want to move on. I can tell that Sayaka actually really loves Sae and same with Sae that slowly is falling in love with Sayaka. Please continue more, I really like this story. I agree it's sad, but I want to know more about Sae with Sayaka and Yuki stories. Same with Mayu and Rena stories. Yuki and Sae love story are so .... I don't know how to describe here, both of it is so sweet, except Sae love story because she's been tricked/lied by Mayu. Poor Sae. By the way, it's really good story here.. :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
-
Great story....bittersweet and dark, but in a good way 8). Why is Mayu so manipulative? Its as if she enjoys hurting other but yet doesn't. She doesn't seem to know what she really wants (except for Yuki...somewhat) :frustrated:. I feel soooo bad for Sae in the last POV chapter. She wears her heart on her sleeve and gets hurt way too easily :farofflook:. Well can't wait for the next update you got me really hooked :hee:!
-
I love that saemayu pict <3 somehow now i like saemayu than saeyuki.. /dunnodunno/ x3 but, in the end i love sae with everyone.. Becoz she's my kami oshi, my inspirator, and also my buddies (onmydaydream) xD want to see another update from this.. ^^ hope you glad to make it another one.. Thanks.. :bow: you all 4 are greats author for me :)
-
NO!!! BECAUSE IM THE WEIRD ONE HERE~
MAYU,YUKI,SAE,RENA AND OTHE DOESN'T WEIRD,BU IM! BECAUSE I LOVE THEM SOO SOO SOOOO MUCH AND ALL THE FIC AND THE AUTHOR IN THIS FORUM
-
I think it will be interesting
please update more