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AKB48 Fanfics => AKB48 Fanfics => Topic started by: pon-tan on April 18, 2014, 02:49:46 PM

Title: [MogiTate] Our Love [UPDATE : 6/1/14]
Post by: pon-tan on April 18, 2014, 02:49:46 PM
Hi ! I'm new here, nice to meet you  :) Well, this is my first time writing a fanfic, so please give me your opinion about my writing so i can improve my writing skill. English is not my mother language so please forgive me for any grammar mistake. Please enjoy my writing !


“HEEENTAIIII !!!” Saki screamed as Mogi touch her thighs.

“Buu-chan, what about me ?” Saho complained.

“You’re fine,” Mogi said as she continue to touch Saki’s thighs.

The sentence Mogi keep on repeating when Saho asked about her, started to make Saho think that Mogi didn’t even like her in the first place and that she’s only Mogi’s play toy. The moment they spend together are all just fun time for Mogi.

A tear started to flow from Saho’s eye as she watch Mogi, not wanting anyone to see her tear, Saho immediately exit the dressing room with her bag in her hand.
“I’m going home,” she said as she close the door.

Noticing that something is wrong about Saho, Mogi stopped touching Saki, started to pack her things and leave. She started running after Saho who seem to have leave the theater in a high speed.

Meanwhile, Saho tears keep on flowing as she walk.

“Iwatate-san !!” Mogi screamed as she run as fast as she could to Saho.

Hearing Mogi’s scream, Saho walked faster than before.

“Hey, wait for me !” Mogi screamed as she continue to run after Saho.

Saho was walking faster and faster and so did Mogi, she run faster and faster that she managed to grip Saho’s hand.

“I told you, wait for me !” she said as she pull Saho’s hand and turn her around so she can see her. Saho whose face is filled with tears started to wipe her tears as she stay silent.

“Why are you crying ?” Mogi asked with an angry tone.

“Stay away from me !” Saho shouted as she try to push Mogi away which she failed to do as Mogi is gripping her strongly.

“WHY ARE YOU CRYING ? TELL ME !!” Mogi asked getting more angry as she can’t stand to see Saho crying.

“It’s none of your business ! LET ME GO !” Saho screamed as she continue to struggle from releasing Mogi’s grip.

“Of course it’s my business !! you’re my …” Mogi stumbled.

“Play toy, right ?” Saho said. Mogi was shocked to hear Saho’s reply that she started to loosen her grip.

“I am and have always been your play toy, right ?” Saho said as she push Mogi away which she managed to do this time.

“Why would you say that ?” Mogi asked but Saho did not reply and instead she walk away from Mogi and continue to cry while walking.

“What make you think that ?” Mogi asked as Saho leaves her. Mogi stood still as she see Saho walking away from her.

Saho returned home and she continued to cry in her bedroom, her phone rings as somebody calls her. She took her phone and look at the it, “Buu-Chan” was written on the screen. She throw her phone away from her and continue to cry.

Mogi desperately continue to phone Saho over and over again but she received no answer from Saho. “Damn it !” Mogi said in anger, she send a message to Saho ,“I need to talk to you, answer my call, please !”

Saho took her phone, read the message, delete it and she continue to cry on her bed.


(http://s20.postimg.org/q7zci3egp/tumblr_mte7gdlhuq1s3gugyo1_500.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/q7zci3egp/)

For those who didn't know about Saho and Mogi, Saho ( Iwatate Saho ) is the girl in the left while Mogi ( Mogi Shinobu ) is the girl in the right.
Saho and Mogi are 13th Gen members of AKB48 and both of them are currently in Team 4.
Saki ( Kitazawa Saki ) is also a 13th Gen member and a member of Team 4, Saki is the one who Mogi like to flirt with other than Saho.
Title: Re: [MogiTate] Our Love
Post by: kuro808 on April 18, 2014, 03:02:47 PM
I think your writing is good as the story is being told.  My best advice is to read some of the others, if not communicate with some you do like and try pick up conversation with them.

I like it so far.  You can always PM me and we can talk there :)
Title: Re: [MogiTate] Our Love
Post by: teru_fi on April 18, 2014, 03:23:02 PM
It's great. 13th gen needs some exposure to others too. Looking forward for the next chapters.
Title: Re: [MogiTate] Our Love
Post by: Yuki88 on April 18, 2014, 07:12:53 PM
Nice!! 13th gen fic is a rarity and MogiSahho pairing is great. My 13th gen OTP is YuiriAyaka though 8D
Title: Re: [MogiTate] Our Love
Post by: pon-tan on April 19, 2014, 03:12:58 PM
@kuro_808 : Thank you for reading my fanfic and the advice, I'm glad that you like it. I will read other fanfic and i've PM-ed you.  :)
@teru_fi : Thank you for reading my fanfic and I'm glad that you like it. Yes, the 13th gen need to get more exposure, it's kind of sad that the 14th and 15th gen are being pushed so much that the 13th gen are being left out.
@Yuki88 : Thank you for reading my fanfic and I'm glad that you like it. Yes, MogiSahho is great, the story about them staying in the same hotel room are lovey dovey :lol:   About YuiriAyaka, I don't know much about them, sorry. But i'm currently searching more about YuiriAyaka.


“Please stop avoiding me, I really need to talk to you,” was written on the screen of Saho’s phone. With a smile in her face, she deleted the message.

Mogi who was sitting behind her in the dressing room saw her deleting the message from the mirror. She turn her head around to look at Saho, hoping that at least they will make an eye contact.

“Minna, I’ll go home first, there’re a lot of assignments that I have to finish before the concert next week, bye !” Saho said as she stand up from her chair.

“Ah ! Bye !” the members replied as Saho leaves the dressing room.

“She still won’t talk with me…” Mogi thought as she put her phone on the table.

“There’s something wrong between Iwatate-san and you, right ?” Yurina said as she sit on the chair beside Mogi.

“Yes, and she is avoiding me now…” Mogi replied as she show Yurina the message she send to Saho.

“Eh, wait, how did you know about that ?” Mogi asked curiously.

“Because I’m amazing !” Yurina joked.

“Seriously !” Mogi said angrily as she glare at Yurina.

“Well, I know it from your desperate look when you look at Iwatate-san, and your stare at her just now just prove that I’m right,” Yurina confessed as she look away from Mogi because of the glare.

“Ah, I see,” Mogi said as she stop glaring at Yurina and look at her phone screen instead.

“So what happens between you two ? Tell me, maybe I can help you out,” Yurina said trying to help her friend out.

“It started when ……” Mogi started to tell Yurina about what happened.

“And from that time on, Iwatate-san has been avoiding me. Whenever I try to talk to her, look at her or even stand near her, she would leave me and go somewhere else. She won’t even look at me now…” Mogi ended.

“Wait, you make the cheerful Iwatate-san cry ? and you call yourself a hentai when you are that stupid about love ?” Yurina said loudly.

“No need to talk so loud ! You’re going to ruin my hentai character !” Mogi said angrily.

“You’re always tsun tsun when you’re with Iwatate-san and she’s always the one dere dere between you two, but when you’re with Saki you’re always dere dere. No wonder the serious Iwatate-san thinks that she’s just your play toy. If I’m in her position I would think like that too”  Yurina complained.

“I just love it when I tsun tsun and tease her ! And I think she’s just way too serious about our relationship !” Mogi complained to defend herself.

“I told you ‘THE SERIOUS IWATATE-SAN’ didn’t I ?” Yurina said angrily.

“What do you think I should do ?” Mogi asked as she’s completely clueless about what she should do.

“Well, if I were you I would apologize to Iwatate-san first and then clear the misunderstanding between you two. Even if you dere dere her now, it’s not going to help solve the problem.” Yurina answered confidently.

“How do I even apologize to her when she’s completely avoiding me ??!!” Mogi asked angrily.

Both of them stay silent as they think of a way, then an idea comes to Mogi’s mind.

“I’ve got an idea ! Yurina, thank you for the help ! It’s still a few days from now but I have to made preparation from now ! I’ll tell you about the outcome ! I’m going home now, bye !” Mogi said cheerfully as she pack her things.

“I wish you good luck then ! I’ll be waiting for the outcome ! Bye !” Yurina replied with a big smile on her face.

“Ah, I forgot ! Don’t you dare tell anyone about this ! If you do, your dear Naachan won’t be spared !” Mogi threatens as she open the door.

“Ye-Yes !” the scared Yurina replied.
Title: Re: [MogiTate] Our Love [UPDATE : 4/19/14]
Post by: kuro808 on April 19, 2014, 06:39:45 PM
Poor Mogi needs to finally stop acting that way and at least be truthful to Saho :nervous
Title: Re: [MogiTate] Our Love [UPDATE : 4/19/14]
Post by: pon-tan on April 22, 2014, 09:52:42 AM
“Ah~ Who’s going to share the room with me ?” Saho thought as she walked along the hallway of the hotel. “It’s not someone in the second plane, it’s either the first or the third then, maybe she’s from the first and is already at the room, I’ll just walk faster then,” She started to walk faster with her big luggage in her hand.

“Here it is ! Room 16-02 !” She insert the card key and open the door. No one is in the room, “It’s someone from the third then, the third plane will arrive one hours from now, and if you add 30 minutes for the journey from the airport to here then it means I’m alone for one and a half hours, it’s quite a long time, I guess I’ll just unpack my things first,” she started to unpack her things from her luggage and arranging them neatly.

It took her about 15 minutes to finish unpacking. She look around the room and lay on one of the bed. After a while, she took the tv remote on the table between the beds. She turned the tv on and started to surf through the channels, but nothing seem to interest her.

Out of curiousity, she took her phone and messaged her manager, “Excuse me, with whom am I going to share room with ?”

“I don’t know, It’s randomly chosen but each team member are paired with their own team member.” the manager replied.

“I see, thank you very much and sorry to bother you !” she sent another message to her manager.

Still curious about the person sharing the room with her, she opened her google+ to check about other Team 4 members. “Ah ! It seems that most of the members have already arrived except Naachan, Takashima-san, and Mogi…” She stay silent for a while. It hurts her just to think about Mogi, it kept reminding her of all the time they spent together. Just when a tear was about to flow from her eye, “IWATATE SAHO ! You need to stop thinking about her ! She didn’t message you today, she has already gave up ! You just need to forget her and everything will be fine !” She comforted herself.

“There’s still one hour left… How should you spend your time ?” She asked herself as she look around the room looking for something to do. She took the magazine on the desk and flip the pages around, “Nothing interesting here…” She returned to the bed and lay on it. “I should have brought a book to study...” She mumbled as she turn her body over and look at the window. “It’s still early, taking a nap wouldn’t hurt, I guess…” She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

“Urrgh, What time is it now ?” She asked herself as she open her eyes. She look at the clock, “Ha~ I ended up sleeping for about an hour,” Still sleepy, she stay on the bed for a while.

She heard the sound of the door being opened. She get out of the bed and walk to look at the door. Her heart stop for a beat as she see the person in front of the door. Standing in front of her was the person she didn’t want to meet the most, Mogi Shinobu.
Title: [MogiTate] Our Love [UPDATE : 4/22/14]
Post by: kuro808 on April 22, 2014, 10:12:39 AM
Keep up the good writing!!
Title: Re: [MogiTate] Our Love [UPDATE : 4/22/14]
Post by: teru_fi on May 01, 2014, 05:16:57 AM
I miss Mogi and Saho. Where's the update, author-san? (´＿｀。)
Title: Re: [MogiTate] Our Love [UPDATE : 4/22/14]
Post by: pon-tan on June 01, 2014, 04:13:29 PM
@kuro_808 : Yes ! I'll try to !!
@teru_fi : Sorry to make you wait so long ! I was busy preparing for my final exam, now that the exam has ended, I'll try to write as fast as I could !


Mogi placed her luggage beside her and put down her bag. “It’s been a long time since we talk, right ?  Can we talk now ?” she asked calmly as she look at the girl who has been avoiding her.

Saho look away from Mogi, not wanting to see her anymore. She try to walk to the door eventhough Mogi is still standing between her and the door.

“No, I know that you are avoiding me and this will make you even angrier but I’m not going to let you walk pass this door until we talk.” Mogi start to block the way to the door. She look at Saho who’s extremely mad at her now but tries to hide it anyway.

Saho took a deep breath to keep herself calm, turn around and walk away from Mogi. Mogi took a quick step and quickly grip Saho’s hand as she turns. “Let go of my hand ! I don’t want to talk to you !” Saho started struggling to release her hand from Mogi’s grip. “If you don’t want to talk to me then it’s fine, but please listen to what I want to say.” Mogi pulled Saho’s hand and turn her around. They both look at each other in the eye.

“I’m sorry if I make you feel taken for granted or perhaps play toy. It’s just that I thought you hate it when I cling to you, and that’s why I’ve been restraining myself from you. But it turns out that while I’m restraining myself from you, I ended up clinging to Saki. And also I know that I’ve been tsun tsun when I’m with you, it’s because I like how you react when I tsun tsun and tease you. If you dislike me being tsun tsun when I’m with you, I’ll try my best not to do so from now on. And if there’s something else that makes you think you’re my play toy, please tell me, I’ll change for you. ” Mogi took a deep breath “I like you…” she paused for a second “And it hurts me to see you cry, I don’t want to see you cry because of me again.”

Saho blushed, she’s no longer mad at Mogi after hearing her “Baka, I have never hate it when you cling to me.”

“But you keep on saying “you’re creepy” when I touch you !” Mogi defended herself.

“That’s not what I meant, I only thought that the way you touch me are too extreme. And I’m not bothered with you being tsun tsun and tease me,” Saho explained not wanting Mogi to misunderstand her anymore.

“Then, why did you think that I thought you as a play toy ?”

“It’s because you’ve been neglecting me for a while now and you went to Saki instead. And whenever I talk to you, you’ve been replying with only “yes”, “no”, and “so?”. And also in the past, when you’re troubled, you came to me. But now you go to Yurina.”

“I told you, I’m restraining myself from you. I’m sorry if I ended up neglecting you,” Mogi sighed “What should I do so you wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at me anymore ?”

“Stop restraining yourself from me and stop clinging to other member,” Saho answered in a serious tone.

“Yes, I got it !” Mogi replied cheerfully. Both of them smiled at each other “I’ll unpack my things then. Iwatate-san, will you help me arrange them ?”

Saho nodded “Alright, let’s finish this quickly and take a bath together !”

Mogi took her luggage and open it, but she remembered about something “Wait ! Now that I think of it, what’s going to happen to my hentai chara if I’m not allowed to cling to other member."

“Well, just change your chara then. You told me that you’re willing to change for me just now,” Saho giggled as Mogi started to panic.

“Just spare me this time, please~”

“Maybe an imouto chara mogi wouldn’t be bad~”

“No way !” Mogi replied immediately “Ne~ Iwatate-san~ Just this once~”
Title: Re: [MogiTate] Our Love [UPDATE : 6/1/14]
Post by: kuro808 on June 07, 2014, 07:54:15 AM
Mogi might take an opportunity to win over Sahho after all XD
Title: Re: [MogiTate] Our Love [UPDATE : 4/22/14]
Post by: sastio13 on June 08, 2014, 12:50:47 PM
Quote from: pon-tan on June 01, 2014, 04:13:29 PM
@kuro_808 : Yes ! I'll try to !!
@teru_fi : Sorry to make you wait so long ! I was busy preparing for my final exam, now that the exam has ended, I'll try to write as fast as I could !


Mogi placed her luggage beside her and put down her bag. “It’s been a long time since we talk, right ?  Can we talk now ?” she asked calmly as she look at the girl who has been avoiding her.

Saho look away from Mogi, not wanting to see her anymore. She try to walk to the door eventhough Mogi is still standing between her and the door.

“No, I know that you are avoiding me and this will make you even angrier but I’m not going to let you walk pass this door until we talk.” Mogi start to block the way to the door. She look at Saho who’s extremely mad at her now but tries to hide it anyway.

Saho took a deep breath to keep herself calm, turn around and walk away from Mogi. Mogi took a quick step and quickly grip Saho’s hand as she turns. “Let go of my hand ! I don’t want to talk to you !” Saho started struggling to release her hand from Mogi’s grip. “If you don’t want to talk to me then it’s fine, but please listen to what I want to say.” Mogi pulled Saho’s hand and turn her around. They both look at each other in the eye.

“I’m sorry if I make you feel taken for granted or perhaps play toy. It’s just that I thought you hate it when I cling to you, and that’s why I’ve been restraining myself from you. But it turns out that while I’m restraining myself from you, I ended up clinging to Saki. And also I know that I’ve been tsun tsun when I’m with you, it’s because I like how you react when I tsun tsun and tease you. If you dislike me being tsun tsun when I’m with you, I’ll try my best not to do so from now on. And if there’s something else that makes you think you’re my play toy, please tell me, I’ll change for you. ” Mogi took a deep breath “I like you…” she paused for a second “And it hurts me to see you cry, I don’t want to see you cry because of me again.”

Saho blushed, she’s no longer mad at Mogi after hearing her “Baka, I have never hate it when you cling to me.”

“But you keep on saying “you’re creepy” when I touch you !” Mogi defended herself.

“That’s not what I meant, I only thought that the way you touch me are too extreme. And I’m not bothered with you being tsun tsun and tease me,” Saho explained not wanting Mogi to misunderstand her anymore.

“Then, why did you think that I thought you as a play toy ?”

“It’s because you’ve been neglecting me for a while now and you went to Saki instead. And whenever I talk to you, you’ve been replying with only “yes”, “no”, and “so?”. And also in the past, when you’re troubled, you came to me. But now you go to Yurina.”

“I told you, I’m restraining myself from you. I’m sorry if I ended up neglecting you,” Mogi sighed “What should I do so you wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at me anymore ?”

“Stop restraining yourself from me and stop clinging to other member,” Saho answered in a serious tone.

“Yes, I got it !” Mogi replied cheerfully. Both of them smiled at each other “I’ll unpack my things then. Iwatate-san, will you help me arrange them ?”

Saho nodded “Alright, let’s finish this quickly and take a bath together !”

Mogi took her luggage and open it, but she remembered about something “Wait ! Now that I think of it, what’s going to happen to my hentai chara if I’m not allowed to cling to other member."

“Well, just change your chara then. You told me that you’re willing to change for me just now,” Saho giggled as Mogi started to panic.

“Just spare me this time, please~”

“Maybe an imouto chara mogi wouldn’t be bad~”

“No way !” Mogi replied immediately “Ne~ Iwatate-san~ Just this once~”

pon-tan! i like this fic! :twothumbs
it's rare to find fic about mogi, saho, and the other 13th gen.
so, i hope you'll continue to write this fic or some other new fics maybe hehehe  :twothumbs