JPHiP Forum
AKB48 Fanfics => AKB48 Fanfics => Topic started by: mayura48 on January 07, 2017, 02:01:38 AM
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Prolouge
A girl in white dress sat silently at the edge of her bed, curled on her knees, hugging herself. Her eyes wandering outside the room through small window, its winter in the outside and the scenery of morning winter, first snow, amused the girl.
The light wind comes through the window and send shivers to the girl's body, cold. But the girls remain unmoved from her space, she still sat silently in there despite the coldness.
Unknown to others, the winter coldness from the oustide is nothing to be compared to the coldness inside the girls heart.
The girls face is pale, her eyes have no light, its empty and dead. Whats on her mind? What she felt? No one knows.
It was until someone knocks the doors and briefly enters the room. A woman in white suit comes in and greets the girl. A seconds after, she come close to the bed and started to clean up the bed.
The girl paid no attention to the other presence inside her room, her eyes still glued staring at the outside, remain unbothered.
Once the girl in white suits had done with the bed, she looked up to the girl in front of her, and once she sees the girls face, she can felt her heart clutched.
With her shaky voice, the girl in white suits says, "Watanabe-san its time for your therapy.. "
~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~
was woke up this morning and suddenly felt so mellow, so melancholic, strange right? Melow in the morning lol. And thanks for that i got this idea. The story will evolve around mayu, only about mayu. Ofc i'll add some love story, prob with yuki, mainly, and with others too. But all in all this story is all about mayu, so for u who unsure about reading stories about mayu, i dont reccommend you this story.
And then again i'm also not sure if i can alwys update this story, period. This might be end up like my other stories, abandoned, and yeah something like that.
But anyway, here i just want to wrote out my ideas, so enjoy the story and sorry for the grammar^^
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Just 'Mayu' sounds good to me~
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can i request? uhhhmmm mayuki is too mainstream can we get together pair with mayuyu? like jurina or someone else? but if you still want yuki then go for it... im okay to all as long as mayuyu is there :D
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Why, the prologue is short, but so sweet that it made me go "WAIT A MINUTE... Let me actually stick around for this series..." That shows you got a good hook going on here for the story. You need it in order to draw in attention... and it worked. (Okay, it at least worked on me, lol.)
At first, it's easy to jump to an assumption that we're going either on a fantasy genre based on the white dress in a winter atmosphere. But holy smokes, you did well with the build-up on the setting. Well done! I enjoy the shock factor that accompanied it at the very end when we receive the dialogue from the staff. Thinking that Mayu is in a mental ward/asylum, that's one insane prologue that hooked my attention immediately.
Thankfully, the prologue is not long. I'm not saying it shouldn't be long (since long prologues can work too), but we're introduced with possible future development on this series. Followed by the title "M A Y U" with spacing, the premise remains ambiguous. What reason drove you to make this title? It's an interesting choice!
I'm also in full favor of having my ex-kami oshi be the star of a series. One that isn't hindered by romantic interest is a huge plus for me since, I won't lie, most fans then to favor and prefer stories that have a solid pairing in a tale. For me and some readers, we value the plot itself. Characters being paired up into ships are just extra brownie points for us to munch on.
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/26/0b/94/260b94e96143ddd3a2756cdd1556b1c8.jpg)
Looking forward to see how this series will develop! Please let me know right away when an update arrives!
P.S. Wonders happen when we write on a whim, lol. Glad you decided to put them into words and share them with us!