JPHiP Forum

General => Entertainment => Movies => Topic started by: daigong on July 23, 2006, 10:25:31 PM

Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: daigong on July 23, 2006, 10:25:31 PM: OK. First time I saw this comedian (who stars in "Employee of the Month" with alleged lover Jessica Simpson) on the MTV Music Video Awards last year and he did this bit, I was like "Who the fuck is this geek!"

(http://img373.imageshack.us/img373/4358/danecookfuckerfl3.jpg)
"We love violence in this country, we love violence. We all have those little violent tendencies. I know you're like me, when you see someone walking down the street in a Superman tee shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest. And when they start to bleed go, "I guess not." Don't wear the shirt. Wear a shirt that says, "I bleed if you shoot me in the chest plate" and I will not shoot you in the chest plate, Superbleeder. Haha I called him Superbleeder."

but boyten had it blazing in the van, and the comedy CD ain't bad. I can totally relate to fuckers who back into your driveway...:lmao:

If you ever turn around in my driveway again I'm gonna cut your fucking head off.

or like: "This guy and I, we got in this little beef, we got in this little fight, right? And he yelled, "Fuck you." And there's nothing about 'Fuck You' because once someone hits you with 'Fuck You', there's nothing better to come back with. You can't come back with "Oh fuck me? Yeah? Well, um, uh, Gaylord!"

Here's some episodes of his TV show where Dane Cook and 3 of his friends go on a tour for 30 days where they will be in 20 shows and all traveling on 1 bus. This is comedy for anyone that doesn't know.

Episode 1:
http://rapidshare.de/files/22918639/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E01.WS.DSR.XviD-UMD.upped.by.tex.part1.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/22920218/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E01.WS.DSR.XviD-UMD.upped.by.tex.part2.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/22921021/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E01.WS.DSR.XviD-UMD.upped.by.tex.part3.rar.html

Episode 2:

http://rapidshare.de/files/23545042/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E02.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS.upped.by.tex.part1.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/23547483/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E02.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS.upped.by.tex.part2.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/23548354/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E02.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS.upped.by.tex.part3.rar.html

Episode03
http://rapidshare.de/files/24684801/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E03.HDTV.XviD-uppedBYbrownsta.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.de/files/24752894/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E03.HDTV.XviD-uppedBYbrownsta.part2.rar
http://rapidshare.de/files/24703011/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E03.HDTV.XviD-uppedBYbrownsta.part3.rar

episode 4
http://rapidshare.de/files/25037584/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E04.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS.part1.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/25039376/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E04.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS.part2.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/25041262/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E04.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS.part3.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/25041671/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E04.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS.part4.rar.html
password: fbmboards.com

Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E05.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS
http://rapidshare.de/files/25603732/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E05.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS.part4.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/25604540/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E05.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS.part1.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/25605238/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E05.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS.part2.rar.html
http://rapidshare.de/files/25605993/Dane.Cooks.Tourgasm.S01E05.HDTV.XviD-SAiNTS.part3.rar.html
Password:
fbmboards.com

Credit: 50th Overall Pick, brownsta for posting and Griever of ProjectW for uploading

DISCUSS!!

LINKS
http://www.danecook.com/
http://www.hbo.com/tourgasm/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0785062/
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: MochaNutz on July 24, 2006, 10:17:32 PM: Some of his jokes are halarious, and some are meh. Still a funny guy

I have 2 of his cds if you want them. Is there more?
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: meowchi on July 24, 2006, 10:43:08 PM: Dane Cook is hillarious... Saw his stand-up on comedy cetral a while back; one of my favorite jokes he did was about giving his "extra" change to a random bum... Don't want to ruin the joke for anyone just in case they haven't heard it.. classic!
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: JFC on July 25, 2006, 12:35:26 AM: Quote from: MochaNutz
Some of his jokes are halarious, and some are meh.
I find a lot of his stuff is "meh", if not just downright "unfunny".
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: daigong on July 25, 2006, 09:57:18 PM: He's getting lotsa ass
(http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/2720/buttkissingpc3.jpg)
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: kuno_thunder on July 27, 2006, 08:09:02 AM: Dane Cook is a fuckin' pimp. Love his material, but moreso the quick delivery. Love the Superbleeder!
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: Kobasew on July 28, 2006, 05:53:17 AM: http://www.cringehumor.net/temp/danesteals.mp3

Got this clip from another forum, just some jokes that appear to be stolen from another comedian.
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: Imperx on July 28, 2006, 07:23:46 AM: I saw him on the Insomiac Tour Special on Comedy Central. Loved his Price is Right bit. Thanks for uploading those episodes I'll check them out when I have the time.
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: kuno_thunder on October 01, 2006, 05:50:02 AM: Whoa, Dane Cook opening up the new season of SNL tonight! Sounds like he's got a cold. 32nd season already? Damn!
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: Kanki on October 01, 2006, 05:54:14 AM: Dane Cook is SO much love, he is the funniest man I've ever heard >DDD

-Maki
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: 28monkeyking28 on February 07, 2007, 07:16:56 AM: ommmgg.. hilarious .. he's so awesome .!! recommend people to watch his stuff
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: ShioN915 on February 07, 2007, 07:47:32 AM: his early performances were hella good. i remember watching them over and over, but like most comedians, they kinda lose it after awhile. the tourgasm was a waste of time and his movie was so so. i hope the guy makes more solid jokes like he did back then.
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: desidarko on February 13, 2007, 04:33:06 AM: yeah i rememrb when i first saw him on mtv show , i was liek wtf who is did geek ?!?! and switched the channel ... common that standup was sooo bad , he really sucked...
But for some reason when i started to watch his little skits on his website soem of them were really funny . liek the blowjob thing that was pretty cool .

but now its liek hes just using the same old crap , he alwasy goes You rememebr when your hanigng with your friends and a giant monstertrucks runs over your dog ? like who the hell has had that happen to him ?

the movie was a flop , but you would have guessed that from the beginning since jessica simpson was in it , shes basicly trailer trash of hollywood ...

but anywasy he needs to find some new material and maby some actual jokes =P
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: MikMix04 on February 13, 2007, 05:22:04 AM: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZlyADccA1Y (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZlyADccA1Y)

MADtv's Ike Barenholtz Dane Cook impression. Dane Cook has never been funny til now. But, not really because its not Dane Cook. So i guess he still isn't funny. Just watch the vid. :D
Title: The Dane Cook Thread!
Post by: LaJon on February 13, 2007, 06:00:14 AM: I remember some article on fark having to do with him that I read. In the comments, people were linking to all the comedians he's ripped off, with mp3's of their routines and all. It was crazy. @_@