JPHiP Forum
The Hello! Project Fanfics => H!P Fanfics => Topic started by: jenmoshka on January 17, 2007, 08:08:50 PM
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Woot! First comment!! :MKgroovin:
Wow! It's very well written and off to a great start! Please keep up the good work! You've already got me hooked! :MKgrin:
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Oooh, very intriguing :]
Seeing another Yossie-centered story is refreshing <3~!
I look forward to the future chapters <3~!
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Count me in!!!!! Nice beginning, really good ... and considering the possible future pairings I guess you have me hooked :D
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What a way to start my day~ OH, it's The Games We Play.
Count me in too, I'm always up for Yossi or any Yonki fics.
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*hooked already*
This sounds like it's gonna be grrrrrrr-eat! I wonder if Yossie can pull that off. One whole month....that's tough >.O
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I like it :) It's nice to see more and more YoCharMi fanfics come in. Gives me inspiration *that I should... be... using -_-*
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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Anytime there are bets involved I like it. :lol:
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Oh god, this is definately good. I cant wait to read more :D
Keep em coming. youve got a killer story line :D And killer pairings
Yeah Yeah Meccha Fiction!! AHHHH! IM LATE FOR WORK!! I got so absorbed in this!! DARN IT!!
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Woot! Awesome start! :thumbsup
“I’ve decided to make this even more amusing for myself and I’ve enlisted the aid of a few of our more special friends here in H!P.”
Somehow, Country Musume, Ayaka and MKB come to mind...:drool:
Please update soon, I wanna know what Miki has under her sleeve.:ONkekeke:
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This seems to be a very interesting fic:ONxD:
I'll be reading this for sure:kgreat:
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-is the wedge between your comments and your next chapter-
>:]
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hey, one of the lurkers here XD
the truth is that I'm a lazy girl and I'm not used to comment too much (yuu-chan can tell you, I just post on her fic when is extremely necessary XDXD)
about the fic..
To win miki for a weekend... that would be :drool:
keep writing!
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Awww, you're so sweet ... I love you for that lurker comment (because I tend to lurk as well) :heart:
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Damn, Miki's definitely enjoying the came :D Her own interest ... *g*
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Now Miki's playing mind games..
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Poor Yossi, she's really in for it now! I wonder what Miki all has planned and whose help she has enlisted. Does Miki know about Yossi and Rika? If she had Rika's help, the bet would be hers, me thinks!
Please keep up the good work! I look forward to the next chapter! :pen_clap:
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Now Miki's playing mind games..
Miki's mind games are gonna be awesome! :ONwahaha:
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-takes over wedge space again, hoping no one else joins in-
>>;
<<;
:]
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But why did you bring Nakazawa back from her vacation?! You know full well that she’s all-hands! More than you are even…if that’s humanly possible.” She added the last part under her breath.
“Ah, actually I had nothing to do with that
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. :twisted:
“Look at me Yossui…” Yossui met Miki’s concerned eyes, “all fun and bet’s aside, I’m here if you need to talk about it, let it all out if you want.”
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that's sweet. :)
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Lol @ Yuko throwing a welcome back party for herself... in Kei-chan's room
And a big Y.A.Y. for Yuko :heart: Kei lovin'!!!
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Wow...Yuko/Kei loving. We dont really have enough of that around here XD
Im really getting hooked on this. I had to jump on it straight as I came home. I totally couldnt believe you updated quickly.
Ok, now the things that made me go lol -
....I’m throwing myself a little welcome-back party tomorrow night in Kei’s room, she doesn’t know yet...
Somewhere above she heard a bang, which made her jump and slosh a bit of water down her chin...
Yeh that happens to me a lot. Im a terrible drinker. Say anything remotely funny and it comes out my nose.
Can you write up a formal set of the rules. Im pretty sure I get the outlines of the bet but I would like something I can go over so Im definately sure on how this game is played. Much appreciated ^^
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Hello, another lurker here! :P
I'm enjoying this fic a lot. A fic with Yossi is interesting for me :)
And Yuko is soooooo awsome!!!
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Man, you lurk and post more than I do...
Do you have MSN? We could be lurking buddies ^^
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-giggles at Takagaki-
My gahh I love how you portray Miki <3 Caring on the inside and spikey (that are shiny, representing her beauty? xD) on the outside xD
-wonders how the Yocharmikitty plot will come out-
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Wow! Two new chapters already! Yes! :tfr9a7wg:
I loved the little bit in the cafeteria with Yossui and Miki. That was so sweet! Instant win! :ONluvluv2:
On an off note: I'm jealous, I want some snow dammit! There hasn't been enough snow to go snowmobiling for two years now! :ONfrustrated: I think I need to move.
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First the mind games,
then the little flirting and seducing..
Yossi's in deep shit!
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I'll try and satisfy your appetite for comments. Sometimes its better than flowers.
Ok I'll start of with how I feel about this story upon reading it the first time.
The title was catchy. Games. Play. Hmm, good words that'll definately insure some fun. The first chapter was a cool one. It outlined the direction of the story and the characters involved. It ran over their personalities and any other small details.
Its not something I feel a strong obsession over and I think thats a good thing because true obsessions are things that build up without you knowing. I've clicked on this thread a few times and read over your comments and the comments of others trying to get a feel for this story and the crowd it pulls. I've also done some rough work on who you are as a writer and what you like but because you're a lurker its a little harder to find stuff about you. One question: You like girls?
You writing shows you are educated and have a knack for creative things like this. There is no spelling errors or grammar errors that catch my attention. You space things well. The dialouge of the characters is believable.
Btw that "Yoshizawa you're drooling" comment made me laugh out loud ^^
I love the Miki/Yossui chemistry you have here. I also like the fact you have characters misinturpreting each others actions because that happens a lot in real like (because we dont know what others are thinking!) but in the fiction world a lot of writings skip over that common fact.
You update often. Do you know how awesome that is? Freaking awesome.
Catch you later
Stay warm
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yay! yomiki.... :ONwriggly:
risa and takahashi behind that door.... ooooh :ONwahaha:
nice story. i can't wait for the next chapters.
honestly i hope yossui would lose and become miki's slave.:ONkekeke:
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wowz... 5 chapters in 2 days! awesome~
cool story line! Miki seems to begin to have some feelings for Yossi?? so whoever wins..... Its all good! :ONhee:
Looking forward to what Miki has up her sleves, and how Yossi would avoid em
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Aww! Nice Miki :]
Yossie's embarassment was cute too, roffle xD
Wonder how Yossie's going to react when she sees the cellphone xD But somehow, I get the feeling that Rika will see to that first and BAM. Love triangle angst D:!
I look forward to your next chapter <3
-gives you a hardhat to protect from writer's block-
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Rika's thinking too muuuch~ and someone else's going to stole her giiirl~ XDXD
aah.. keep it up, I love what you're doing ^^
*Yuu-chan, I'll take one of that hardhats too if you don't mind :P*
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Miki's little stunt with Yossi's cell phone is gonna cause some dramatics! I just know it! :D What if Rika sees it?
Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!
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Yossui is so in for it! 29 days to go, and she's already frustrated. That definately makes for a good read imo! And now Rika's having second thoughts. It'll be interesting to see how that plays into the bet. I doubt it'll be in Yossui's favor though.
Please keep up the great writing! :ONluvluv2:
PS. You're right about the nick. Unfortunately, the last couple years we just haven't gotten much snow. If only I had a fleet of trucks, I'd take all the snow you don't want!
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I god!! MIKI IS THE BEST!! i just love what she is doing XD She is such a groovy character here.
Ah, I dont think Yossui is cracking quite yet. I think she's more worried about failing. Personally, I wouldnt last long :( Wait,...so self servicing is ok? Cause if that was still in the 'ok' I would definately abuse it.
Thanks for your really really long reply. I appreciated it. I can understand your sensitivity in regards to your work and what you think should be published. I think everyone feels like this (god knows I do!) but the step to getting over it is rationalising. Whats so bad about it? Is it just lame and embarrassing? Well maybe to you but I bet some sappy romantist or lonely fool out there would appreciate it.
Oh and the sprinkler thing...wow..I didnt know those things happened. How awful. Yet...rather amusing. Was the water ice cold?
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I made it a thing to never eat a whole meal or drink a lot around friends... because i tend to choke a lot, especially when something funny or amusing happens.
It was nice reading your story whil its 2:30 am. i havnt done this in so long XD
And yeah, your story gave me some slight inspiration :D (and please, just sLaVe).
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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Finally I was able to read more this...
And I have to say, the more I read this the more I love it:panda_love:
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Ah.....there are only a couple things that would make this perfect for me...but since they don't matter I would have to say this is one of the BEST I've read. You've got to keep this up.
Random: Ya know, if you want to get away from the snow just go around Florida, Georgia, or somewhere in SouthEastern U.S. Couple of days ago it was SPRING Literally,flowers blooming and all...but now it's cold, but no snow.
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This is awesome!!!!!!
Haaahhhhh~
I wonder what's on Miki's mind ^^^^^^
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Wow, I'm gone one weekend and what do I miss? Three new chapters!!! I'm mightly impressed ... and happy :D
Chapter Four
“Seriously…how much is Miki paying you to come back from your vacation so soon? I’ll double whatever it is…triple it even! Just name your price for the love of God, just don’t make my life hell right now please!!” Yossui pleaded.
*hehe* LOL at suspicious!Yossi ...
Chapter Four
Besides, I for one, am willing to show-case my love for you every chance I get, and if it happens to help Yossui, what’s wrong with a bit of attention thrown at us?” Risa smiled warmly and leaned in for a gentle kiss.
Bless Risa for her logic ... ^^
Chapter Five
Damn that Ishikawa… Miki thought to herself as her gaze shifted to the singers that had gotten up to leave. Being so careless with Yossui’s feelings…
Miki sounds just a TAD jealous, but really, just a TAD ^^
Chapter Five
Makoto walked by Yossui as cheerful as ever giving an “Ohayou!” as she was passing. However, she paused a moment as the noises coming from Risa’s room hit her ears and with a sigh said, “I miss KonKon, we used to have so much fun together…” and continued merrily on her way.
Mako/Konkon reference FTW!!!!!
Chapter Five
Wow… Yossui thought to herself as she caught Miki’s reflection in the full wall mirror in front of them. That Fujimoto sure can stretch…and bend…and flex…and…
I bet Yossi wasn't the only one drooling over that image :D
Chapter Six
“We looked so happy together…why did you have to ruin what we had…why did I ruin it?” She sighed and shut the phone leaning back against the cold wall. Because I was scared? What kind of excuse is that…Because I was worried about the attention we would get? How could I be so petty...
Poor Rika ... I sort of feel bad for her ...
Chapter Six
Flipping open the phone, she struck a cute pose and hit the camera button. Giggling to herself, she went about setting it as the background display, skillfully tapped a few more buttons and placed it back on the table before sauntering out the door. “Ah, this should be fun.” Miki smiled and shut the door behind her.
*rofl* Evil Miki, evil evil Miki!!!
To sum it all up, loved it :heart:
Oh, and a big yay yay for all the Yuko/Kei parts *fangirls*
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-wedges again- And of course you can decorate the hardhat!
<3
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I so like the drama. Well paced, with a little bit of humor interlaced. And the timely interruptions (by Tsuji and Erika/Yui in this case) keeps things from moving along too fast. I like it when writers take time to tell their stories. Most of the writers whose fics I've read here are really good at that, and you don't disappoint either. Keep up the great work! Hope that hardhat comes in handy. :MKgrin:
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*hehe* I was half expecting the bubbly characters to be Aibon and Nono, just because :D
I love Erika and Yui, but in Rika's stead I'd smacked them silly ^^ Hope Rika and Yossi get a second chance to talk!!!
I was already wondering why no one has yet commented on Mako/Konkon, I thought they were quite popular around here. Hmm, weird!
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Wonder what happened between Yossi and RikaXD
And of course I still reading this:ONxD: I will sit here and wait the next chapter:ONwhistle:
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The chapters are long, Drama packed/angsty and funny. I thought I saw a hint of predictable plot line but it seems to have vanished meaning that I was wrong. Goodo.
Love a bit o' drama trauma. Rika/Yossui stuff is good. I started to feel a little of Yossui's pain. (Im rather empathetic?..or just pathetic? I dont know anymore!!) You have me hanging anxiously, waiting to find out more on 'their story'.
Miki sounds a lot like Miki. Thats cool. Your characters have stuck to their traits so far.
Waiting for number 8~
[Edit] Just out of curiousty...ever thought of perv writing...
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LOVING IT :ONluvluv1:!!!! Another update :yay:!!!! -35 degrees Celsisius? :ONshock:!! You really need to think of beaches and the Sun...or the warm feeling you get from reviews :ONglasses:!!! Anyway KEEP IT UP :ONbyebye:
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I dont know how the fook i did it, but i somehow missed the chapters on page 3....meaning i skipped page three. good thing i read the sentence of Yossui pacing around in ch. 7 (?) before reading on.
I too love it how you make Miki stick to her real character. So sly...hot... playful...:drool: *wait, waah?*
Anyway, Nice to see such a nice fic. Reminds me of another story (well not the story line, just how things are moving... Dont mind me... I dont make sense often :D).
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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Zzzziing! Thank god! An update! Thats what I needed to cheer me up, thanks!
Hizzah, Yuki/kei -ness. Thats awesome. I wanna know what Kei has to say!! baaah!! I hate it when that happens! People cut you off with something else and you totally forget your train of thought!
Makoto definately seems like Makoto. Yay for that. And Yay for the dialouge! Lol. My mind can only wonder at what she'll do to help Miki with her bet. *imagines Makoto in tight leather. Shiver* Ok well...maybe she wont take that path..but it would be kinda interesting..
You MUST access the perv. Its interesting. I must recommend you the words of Reina's eyes. (no idea if its a guy or a girl) Reina writes about strange topics that.
*phone rings*
Shit, sorry I gotta answer that. I'll harrassing you later
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I completely agree with Mikan, awesome Yuko/Kei!!! There's not enough of that out there, so you rock for writing 'em :heart:
I absolutely love your Risa, btw. She's so adorable. Not that the real Risa is not adorable :D
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Great couples, great storyline, the inclusion of Makoto, and everything makes me so addicted to this! :ONfarofflook:
Everytime I read about Risa running through the hall, I get this mental image of a Chibi-Risa running anime style. Ya know, where the legs are a blur and hands are waving up and down like mad! I always end up laughing like crazy! :ONwahaha:
Looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the great work! :ONluvluv2:
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Oooh, with the addition of Makoto, this will surely be interesting <3
And Risa running around chibi-style is amusing, I should draw that xD
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Chapter Nine
“What’s so important that you went and ruined your credit card over?” Yossui asked as she began to pick up the scattered papers. Miki bent down and helped Yossui as she replied innocently enough, “It’s one of Yasuda-san’s cards, and I wouldn’t ruin my own.”
LMAO ... that's soooo Miki :D
Great new chapter ... I'm curious how the Rika/Yossi will evolve from now one ... because I LOVE Ishiyoshi!!!
And Yuko/Kei is kind of a given for me, I'm still surprised there isn't more people writing about them, they're fun characters to get into!
It's funny how you say that because just last week I was talking to a friend about "established" couples in H!P, like Ishiyoshi, GAM, and we both mentioned how Yuko/Kei really seems to have moved up there as well ... one of those "given" pairings :P
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I'm more a ishiyoshi shipper...
so reading this chapter makes me go :ONwriggly:
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....The situation is slightly similar to something that's happening to one of my friends :ONdepressed: Not exactly the same but similar. Anyway, hoping to see how it turns out.
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Oh dear, torn ><
And it seems that Miki was being serious this time. I like the air of a serious Fujimoto :]
Makes me wonder if Miki's the character you plan on working on the most with character development other than Yossie. I'd like to see Miki's growth over the chapters <3!
-pats hardhat- :]
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Just the thought of Yossui getting teary-eyed makes me go "Awwww." :ONcry: I liked the rollercoaster reference, it's quite fitting for the situation. I'm beginning to think there might be a Miki/Rika confrontation looming in the future. Like always, I'm looking forward to the next chapter! Keep up the great work! :ONluvluv2:
Oh, Yuuyami, you already have drawn a Chibi-Risa that's close to that (with the addition of 8 wings, if you get my drift). That's how the initial thought crossed my mind. Then with jenmoshka's descriptions, the rest of it just clicked.
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AHAHA!! I laughed out loud at Miki's bed comment. Well, I thought that she might actually try something on her. Or get some of the other girls to get her while she is drunk. Well, it seems they all have a bit more taste than that. Cool. And Miki seems to be more caring that I origanally thought her out to be. Which I see is kinda cute. I think atm I've O.D'd on Miki/Aya friendships (I spent the last 6-8 hours reading Lovex2) so its nice to hear about the other end of the scale ..a nice...boyish/brotherly yet sexy Yossi/Miki pairing.
Also, Yuko starting the party early? Hahaha. Poor Yossi. And Poor Kei. XD
yay!! First comment!!
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Nice chapter!
Poor Yossi... she's so depressed... but thanks god Miki is here :heart::heart: Miki-Yossi :heart::heart:
Yuko and Kei, just perfect!. And Ai... oh Bigmouth Takahashi XD XD
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For the sake of lurkerlove presented within this thread, I must reply. :D I've been doing nothing but lurking for the whole time after registering. xD
For the fic... I don't have any magnificent thing to say. I was a little surprised with Rika's confession of love acouple of chapters back.... It was so sudden. I knew it, of course, who wouldn't love Yossi. :roll: I expected more to happen before, some more insight on Rika's thoughts. This does look like it's more about Yossi and Miki so I guess it's alright to leave Rika with lesser attention.:ONdunno:
Oh, the chapters are too short! xD Well, not always. Anyway, I like this! :ONhee:
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:D I guess I can deal with whatever you have in store for us ... btw, I also love Ishiyoshi II so I wouldn't mind if Rika ended up with Erika :heart: But then of course Miki would have to end up with Yossi, just because you can't leave Yossi all alone ^^
Anyway, great new chapter! How I'd have loved to be at that party!!!!
And bad Yuuchan, leaving your own party early *tststs*
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Aww, Miki <3
Rika knowing of the bet, eh? Makes me wonder if she's going to join in on the fun or try to stop the game, or even realize the reasons why Yossie refused to touch her/Yossie locking herself in her room was mostly due to the game.
Gahh, I hope Rika clears up her mind o_o;
Yossie too.
And gahh damn I can't wait until Miki realizes how nicer she got and her true feelings~! <3
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“This is not how I imagined I’d get you in bed, Yossui.” Miki laughed aloud to herself as she rolled herself out of bed and went into the bathroom.
I was LOL'd by that one :lol: Also, the credit card thing.
The last line of Ch. 9 is so... ugh, cant even describe it. Atleast Miki had the heart to turn away while Yossui was crying. Then again, I guess its beacuse both of them are so strong that they dont like to know someone is crying, or crying themselves. Love that.
hmmm, MM girls dancing... and drunk. Ive always wondered how they looked like dancing to songs that weren't in H!P, just normal party/club dancing.... I just laugh at the image of Yossui dancing The Peace and drunk.
Damn that Rika! Oh well, even thought you've been a bitch in all the fanfics, I still love you XD
I hope Miki and Yossui end up together in this story. I think that Miki has always liked Yossui and just used this stupid bet to get closer to her and tried to make it innocent while Yossui was still vulnerble. I dont see Rika and Yossui ending up anymore after that last chapter... nope, still had hope in ch.9 though... Oh well, I really thing Miki deserves the ever oblivious Yossui (I still think Yossui is oblivious that shes a pimp sometimes....)
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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“This is not how I imagined I’d get you in bed, Yossui.” Miki laughed aloud to herself as she rolled herself out of bed and went into the bathroom.
But you were still imagining that eh :ONglasses:
“Bet…what bet?” Rika looked at Ai, puzzled.[/QUOTE]
Risa...weren't you the one who decided to help Miki in the first place :ONsweat:
You have Risa and Ai as the only official couple so far? What bout the tortoise and the hare? Seriously, you have go to keep this fic up. If you went on a hiatus I would probably :ONtemper:
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uohoho... I wanna know Rika's reaction when she'll know about the bet XD
and about Miki... Love is in the aiiir ~ XDXD
If you went on a hiatus I would probably:ONtemper:
I second that XD
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Damn, that scene could've really turned ugly with Yossi being as smashed as she was. Good thing Miki seems to be able to hold her booze better.
I just hope Yossi didn't end up puking in Miki's bed. :lol:
Rika now knows about the bet. :o Way to go Aichan. :P When you think about it, maybe now Rika will help Yossi win by getting Viyuden to seductively/endlessly pester Miki. This could be gooooooooooooooood. :twisted:
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OMG :bleed eyes:
This is like... crack. At first I thought Rika was mad in the beginning beacuse she came from Miki's room and they probably did it. But towards the last, it was obvious she was trying to mess with her. I thought though, that she was gonna be pissed enough into seducing her so she could loose the bet, then have no one at all. hahaha, thats ebil. (evil).
Ah short rewrites are better than the whole thing! I have long chapters... and my recent one.. ugh, I rewrote the whole dame thing when i started. IT took me like 3 days to do the first two pages. My head hurt that much. But its good to know writers that care that much XD
I dont even know why i pictured Drunk The Peace dance ... it's way too late for me to be staying up at times....
Hell yeah, heartbraker! But it wasnt supposed to be in a bitchy way XD. More like she rejects everyone *cept Yossui and Miki*. Yes, thats how I like it, in threes :lick:
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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:ONshock: OMG! Poor Yossui! I wonder what Miki's gonna do about that. And then there's Yuko and Kei, on a roof, naked... :ONerr: Um, weirder things have happened? lol
Slave is right, this is like crack. I'm totally addicted. It's awesome that you update so frequently! Looking forward to the next fix! Keep up the great work! :ONluvluv2:
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Well Slave showed me this and well... Crack, yes... Its the only word for it.
It took a sec to get off the ground... But DAMN. I'm so wondering where you're going with this.
Perhaps an Evil Rika? Our for Miki's blood.. ;) Slave will keep me posted when the next chapter pops up.
Glad to see the a fellow Canuck can write such a good story. Keep up the good work.
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And then there's Yuko and Kei, on a roof, naked... :ONerr: Um, weirder things have happened? lol
*rofl* @ Blizzard's comment
Waaa, Rika is so complicated!!!! But I still feel bad for her. And for Yossi :(
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OMG! Rika slapped Yossi:ONshock:
Damn you, Ishikawa:ONgrr:
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new reader!! *waves*
I love the last scene... kinda hard to imagine Rika being that mad and Yossie cying but hey, you really make me believe that's what happen....
I.ALMOST.CRY.
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Yes, another intriging chapter. And now for my comment!!
Blizzard said it all. For the Yuko/Kei moment. Lol. Ah...The good times.
Rika/Yossui moment. Wow. I expected Rika to get all shitty over Yossui being at Miki's house. I thought it was going to turn into a 'They must have slept together so Im not going to listen or ask for an explanation' moment but no, Rika did the thing I probably would have done if I were riddled with guilt - she went to get Yossui back.
I was sitting there wondering if Yossui was going to cast aside the bet and embrace Rika but no, that would mean an early end to the story. (If you were hoping for that, you just missed your window XD).
I like Miki as this caring character. We hardly see that. You see her standing up for herself or her being a Yankee or a pervert or a love sick goof but not this Miki. Yes, I know I must sound like a fool going on and on about something so trivial but thats just the way I am. I guess I care so much about the characters persona because that is the thing that leads the story. 'Dont judge a book by it's cover. Judge it by the characters'.
Moving on.
The slap? Shizzam! Love some heated arguements. XD That and I see Rika as a bit of a Hot/Cold Bitch (I blame Len for this way of thinking).
Moving on further.
Are you gonna make a cover? Hahaha...sorry...it was floating around in my mind and I wondered if you might...
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^ hey, It's not my fault if you think that way of Rika, Mikan. She had already that 'bitchy' aure, I've just develope it XDXD come on.. no one can be so 'charmy' and don't have a dark side XD
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woahh.... this is gonna be addictive for me... Rika slapped Yossi!!! I'm suprised Yossi was calm though out the fight, I'll bet she went over to Miki's after that.
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Yuko........Kei.....roof........:ONhehehe: And RIKA!!! This is my reaction in order :ONshock: :ONgrr: :ONangry1: :9bbc76d5: and thanks to your last chapter :ONfrustrated: SO MUCH DRAMA!!! Though I must say these are quite better than the soap operas I was forced to watch one summer :evil: Eh? Hope you aren't overloaded w/ work...mind if I ask what you do? Still...write more :ONhee:
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I agree with Mikan. I really like the caring Miki. :ONluvluv2: But I'm sure she'll be her ass-kicking self when she "sets Rika straight." :ONscolding: That'll be a must see (read, as it were).
I must say though, I really like all the drama. And this is so much better than a soap opera because this is so much more realistic. (I don't watch soaps, but an old roommate of mine did, and unfortunately, I somehow ended up getting a daily summary from her. Crazy stuff man, crazy stuff. :ON@_@: But if I'm wrong, don't shoot me!) Even so, I'm sure there will be some comic relief popping up here and there, probably thanks to Yuko and Kei. For example, why was it just Yuko that Yossui ran into in the hall? Did she leave Kei on the roof? :ONdunno: Just kidding, it's too much fun not to. Besides, those two have kind of grown on me lately.
Anyways, jenmoshka, (can I call you jen for short?) don't worry about it if you can't update as frequently as you have been. You've been undoubtedly awesome with your updates, but everyone knows that life gets in the way of fun. We'll be here whenever you get a new chapter posted! Of course, we might have the shakes and other withdrawal symptoms, :ONtantrum: but we'll be here none the less!
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Aaaah, Yossi and Miki :MKlove2:
I feel sorry for Rika... I don't know why, since I thought I would hate her after what she did to Yossi... O_o
And don't worry about not being able to finish your chapters as fast as for now:)
We can wait. ...Maybe:ONxD:
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I was rather worried our talking would put off the next chapter but looks like it didnt.
[EDIT]This comment on Miki was removed because Im a moron and we discussed it ^^ For the record Miki didnt cry[/EDIT]
*Moves with the crowd* yep this is 100x better than any soap drama. I mean...this has plot AND characters under 30! (well...Yuko's not but she is a hot woman so its a different matter)
Wow. You know, I think Im going to have to post a short review today. Im really sorry from the bottom of my heart. I just cant think of anything else I wanna say that doesnt repeat myself...
Oh well...I'll sum it up with a simple "LOVE U SO FREAKING MUCH!!"
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Wah!! I love you for writing this fic!!!
Love the scene in the rain!! I have fall in love with Miki kindness.... how she was worried about Yossie, how she took care of her, and how she thought of to set Rika straight....
Was it in the chapter about what happen to Rika and Yossie in the past? I know they broke up because, erm, uh, because Rika wants to save her image? I thought I read it, maybe I forgot....
Anyway, my best scene were...
1. Rika slap Yossie
2. Yomiki in the rain...
3. Coming soon in your next chap...
Keep up the awesome work!!
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This fic just became a lot darker with the latest chapter.
I sort of had a guess that when Yossi ran away that she would go to the roof and see the naked Yuko and Kei. Well, that almost happened. xD
Anyway, my best scene were...
1. Rika slap Yossie
2. Yomiki in the rain...
3. Coming soon in your next chap...
Good selection, I like those too. Predicting future. :D
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The rain scene is absolutely perfect to draw *_____________*;
Yuko and Kei are the moodmakers of the story, yes? Love how Yossie and Yuko pass by like nothing's happened xD!
And wow at the argument. The commentors have said Rika's a bitch that time xD But I'm freaking different, I could already tell that Rika regrets doing that and will somehow try to make up in the future. However by the time she gets around to doing that, I bet Yossie and Miki will be together by then.
I love how you portray Miki's kindness throughout that chapter <3 But I do recommend that you don't go overboard with that kind of thing, because Anger-management -> Kind-person in one or two days is quite a fast jump o_o; So keep it gradual <3 You can choose to ignore this suggestion though, because I don't mind if you keep going like that xD
<3
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“Baka!” Miki cried at Yossui from underneath her umbrella as she took the silent woman into her arms and held her in a tight hug. “I was worried about you!” Miki pulled her jacket off with one hand and draped it over Yossui’s shoulders before taking the woman by the hand, leading her home.
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :ONluvluv1:
i totally love that scene. hahaha!
when turning a corner she ran straight into, and subsequently knocking over, a naked Yuko.
:ONkekeke: ooh a naked yuko...
rika slapping yossui! :ONtemper:
waaahhh a sick yossui! :ONcry:
nicely written and i love this story. ^^
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Ah~ Miki and YOssui in bed, no matter how clean that was, it's still.... heartwarming :D really, that was dramatic though.
Oh and, yes, it is crack. Now wheres my serve, woman?!
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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I haven't been up to date with my reading >.O
Anyway...
Naked Yuko?! O.O :D~~~
Anyway again...
This last chapter was SO cute. I love the two sides to Miki. I hope she gets with Yossie. That would make me a happy panda.
When they were in bed and she was stroking Yossie's back I was in total "awwww" mode. I want to hug them both then push them together so they kiss...and continue doing other things...I'd leave during that part though
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Haven't really been here, but I'm back. I'm love Ishiyoshi. Yomiki is not in my list of canon couples. I may have to change that....
Love Miki's character, she roXors. Yossui is prolly dead on. Rika would probably never date a girl in the first place, but we all smudge the truth there anyway.
Good Job, keep going, and I'll be lurking.
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dibs on first comment
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Oh ho... Yossie is not going to let go that easy, eh? I think it's the traumatization speaking rather than her sickness. Nonetheless, I hope she feels better eventually; I'm pretty sure Miki will see to that. Let's just pray that Rika doesn't go berserk over Yossie like she did in Len.Chan's When Love hurts, because that's going to give Yossie and Miki on hell of a time X_X;
Miki! Heal Yossie soon! ;_;
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Lovely new chapter(s) (since I didn't get around to commenting on the last one)!
Seriously, there's not even a part I could single out, I loved everything :heart:
Of course, your Yuko/Kei makes me squeal, but I guess that's no big surprise ^^
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Ishiyoshi! XP
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“Thank you for everything Rika…I love you so much…” Yossui’s voice trailed off weakly as she closed her eyes and let the warmth of darkness take her.
Miki flinched at Yossui’s words, even though she knew it was the fever talking for the leader, it struck a pain deep in her heart.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh I smell dramatics a-comin'! :D
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Yet another awesome chapter! You even managed to squeeze an infamous 'spaced-out Kaori' moment in there. That gave me a good laugh! As for the last few lines, definately some drama coming. Your "incredibly loyal" portrayal of Miki is definately shining through. Keep up the great work! :tfr9a7wg:
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okie dokie... thanks for the explaination....
Now back to the story....
Aha... S.h.o.r.t and .h.u.r.t....
As I read what Yossie said in her state of unconcious, something stab my heart.... twice.... it hurts!!
First, the pain Yossie gone through.... to learn to let go, that's when it really hurt....
Second, the pain Miki felt right when Yossie said Rika's name. To learn that the one you love is in love with somebody else.... that hurt even more....
can't wait for your next chapter!! and get hurts again!!! lol, i love sad-but-happy-ending story.... haha... THISISAWESOME!!!!
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Of course, your serve got me going through the day :) *it was afact that ancient civilizations used coacoa leaves, where coke and sugh is meade from, as an energy boster to get through the day* _ends W.H._
Thanks!~ I should get to work myself. Keep that YoCharMi alive, ya know.
-Owaranai_sLave
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“Do you realize how long I was stuck in that creepy broom closet?! And you didn’t even bother to come look for me!” Kei felt two warm hands slide across her belly and pull her into the older woman who now stood behind her.
“Next time, I’ll follow you to that broom closet…” Yuko whispered in Kei’s ear.
i like this part. :ONwahaha: :ONkekeke:
whoa! yossui saying rika's name in front of Miki! :ONstoned: ouch! that hurts! XD
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wow! great fic! ^^
no matter if it's ishiyoshi or mikiyoshi... i'm loving it!!
ガンバレ ヨシコ！
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Nice chapter :MKgrin: Awwww....MIKI :baa60776: Love the Yuko/Kei moments. There in there for the comic relief but you just gotta love it ^_^ Lookin forward to you next update :ONglasses:
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Wow! Round 1... FIGHT!! Miki vs. Rika, Gatas fight XD
I love IshiYossi and MikiYossi fics, but at the end of this triangle one of them is going to suffer... :MKcry1:
I hope you'll post the next chapter soon :ONhee:
P.S. First!
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I'm speechless...
I just say that you have became one of my favorite writes :panda_love:
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No, you cannot you use the completely-bent-on-getting-Yossui-back-through-whatever-means-neccessary-including-murder-and-trickery-Rika plotline. It's been done. And it kills my faith in Ishikawa. Stop killing the faith people!
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Woo-hoo, bitch fight!!!!!!! *hehe* I love both Rika and Miki, so that's gonna be fun ^^
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I see, so Charmy-The-Bitch plot returns to these threads? Haha, I look forward to your future portrayal of Rika now.
Go Miki! I'm rooting for you~! <3
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I guess we'll just have to wait and see exactly how possessive and jealous Rika can be. I'm sure you'll do an awesome job with it though. I have no doubts about that.
As for the lack of comedic relief, good call on that. :thumbsup There's a time for it and a time not for it. I don't think it would have fit well in this chapter.
Anyways, I hope work slows down for you some. We can't have you getting burnt out now when there's so much left to tell! :P Keep up the great work!
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Oooo I can feel a catfight coming soon. Miki VS Rika...all out. I'm hoping bikinis and lightsabers are involved in this fight *fangirls* teehee >;] I hope Miki wins though...
The Yuko/Kei in this is also great. The broom closet bit was funny and super cute at the same time. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or go "aww" so I did both consecutively
Looking forward to the next chapter~ ^.^
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oh dammit all.. Which one to pick? the Hot and cute one? Or the Hot and dominant one?
AHHHHH *clutches head in frustration*
I won't hate you, no matter who wins, IF some of their clothes "accidentaly" get torn and ripped from a fight :D *keekee, just kidding... maybe....not*
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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Can't help but have an ever-increasing sense that Miki actually made the bet with Yossi to get closer to her. :)
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oooohhhh! fight!!! go miki!!!! :ONgrr:
miki will win for sure! ^^
Miki brushed some stray hair off Yossui’s forehead, leaned in, and kissed the exposed area gently. As she pulled back, she was sure she saw a small smile start to show on the leader’s face. aaawww :ONluvluv2:
another short but lovely chapter. :ONxD:
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This sounds like it'll be fun to watch.
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yes!! they're fighting over Yossie!!
My fave scene....
1. the moment Miki stroke Yossie hair!!! (I really want to see this in real life....)
2. Rika slap Yossie...
3. Yomiki in the rain...
There goes a new entry for my fav scene... congratulation to the writer and thanks for writing this wonderful fics.... you've got me addicted to this story... please work hard!!! Haha...
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Hmm ok. Well Im glad that they still have feelings for each other because I mean thats completely normal. Falling in and quickly outta love is rather hard. So that I like. I enjoy Yossui torment (muhahah!)
What I makes me worry is how quick you just moved. I felt a little rushed in these past 2 chapters. Some parts were going slow and steady and fine while some kinda just went BAM and happened. Those BAM moments were usually Rika Yossui moments...and I suppose by rushed I mean they reveal too much too quickly. .. Remember I am running low on sleep and food so this could all be delusion and my crankiness coming out. See what others say.
What I look forward to:
Games! Oh the wonderful games that they play. Makoto was..overly Makoto and my god its gonna make things cool. She is such a cutie. I almost pity her love. And yes, I also think the way you wrote her speech was groovy.
Ah, Yuuko moments are always a classic no matter where you are. Im glad she features in this story. I know mentioning this is random but I felt like I had to say it XD (to subconciously put the thought in your head to write her as a frequent character, lol. She pretty much is one though..so whatever)
Sorry I havent written up that other comment. I tried but it kept not sending. So Ill try again later.
Where's my Aya?
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[crybaby mood] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poor Rika (even if she slapped Yossi) ... my Ishiyoshi :cry: [/crybaby mood]
Okay, back to normal now :D Seriously, I'm sure I'll enjoy this story no matter where it might be going, I just really love your writing :heart:
Another party coming up, woo-hoo!!!!! You kept your promise, you deserve a big hug, so ... *hugs*
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okay, now i need to imagine the whole scene the right way.... this story based on present appearances of Yossie right? like the one you had in your avatar... or was it before? cause as i read your fic, i imagine Yossie when she was during 'chokkan' time... haha....
okay, back to teh story.... i kinda feel sorry for Rika. Yet, I'll hate Yossie if she ignore Miki... Please give me something unexpected.... hope to read more or your fics....
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Damn... i really thought I would get some sort of mud/jello wrestling :lick: Haha, kidding. That's a little bit too much even for the flow of this story. Then again, you have been surprising me, so yeah, I guess it wouldn't be such a big deal if you managed it xD
...I really thought Yossui was gonna say something harsh after letting go of Rika's hand and whispering to rika. Something like " No, it doesn't" And BEM, leave Rika.
*yes, I'm quite a dramatic person when writing or speaking at times*
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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Oh ho... What now :] Yossie rejecting Rika completely must definitely have significance of liking Miki more now that she has taken care of Yossie and whatnot. This 'game' that they have is apparently turning into something more :] Much like how a plot of Final Fantasy comes out ( "Normal" journey, something disrupts the "normal" journey, then they have to take an entirely new journey overall.)
I definitely look forward to the Yomiki lovin'
But as usual, I take interest in what type of character Rika is going to become as a result of this. :]
<3
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obviously, Miki has another interest more than have fun with the bet and it seems that she's going to protect Yossi no matter what. I like that. I really like Miki taking care of the others XD
and about the Yossi/Rika moment.. I'm with Slave... I'm sure I'd haven't been so diplomatic XDXD
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At the start of the chapter, I was almost afraid that Yossui was going to think it was Rika next to her! But she didn't, phew! That whole first scene was really pleasant and touching.
I bet Makoto has something planned. Yuko is most likely just going to be herself. :ONkekeke:
The last part with Rika, Yossui unintentionally leaned towards Rika, correct? You said Yossui pulled back hastily and was almost embarrassed, which I don't think would happen if it was intentional. I just want to make sure I'm reading it correctly.
Like always, I'm looking forward to the next chapter! Keep up the great work! :ONluvluv2:
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Nice fic you got goin here. :ONglasses: and YUKO IS ACTUALLY GOING TO PAY FOR DRINKS??? :ONshock: What would we do without her? XD The suspense is mouting...:evil:
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Yep, DEFINITELY thinking that the theory I put up on page 9 is somehow involved. :yep:
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awww Yomiki so saweeett... but did Rika do such a bad thing to deserve such treatment from yossi and miki?
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Dispite the GOD AWFUL pain Im in Im going to write another message here to you...
It seems you get a fare share of large comments. Or maybe its just recently..
Who knows it might be a growing craze!!!!
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Dispite the GOD AWFUL pain Im in Im going to write another message here to you...
It seems you get a fare share of large comments. Or maybe its just recently..
Who knows it might be a growing craze!!!!
Well you know, since the other great stories have either ended or on hiatus or lost their touch or something...
Oh the Games We Play is like, the new awesome pocky for us <3~!
-Hugs Je-san- WE LOVE YOU!!!! :]
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serves you right rika for slapping yossui! :ONscolding:
“Tomorrow night.” Yuko repeated a glint in her eyes, “Drinks are on me Yo-chan.” yuuchan is upto something. hehehehe :ONkekeke:
don't forget the chicken breasts, yuuchan! :ONwahaha: (FYI. from an episode of utaban.)
i'm more of a yossie fan than miki. but if when the fight between rika and miki i'll root for miki. :ONhee:
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*wonders if Yuuyami's comment was a private stab at Mikans habit not to finish things*
For ur information im in a lot if pain anf couldnt write if I wnted too. stupid one hand typin...
Oh and Jen Im gonna put some blame on u for being such a darn distraction..
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No no, I was directing it at stories, but I wasn't thinking of Doki Doki when I wrote it xD
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“Does that excite you Rika-chan? Does my touch send a tingle through your body you can’t understand but don’t want to let go of?”
... How do you come up with such masterful wording?
I cant explain it really. Its like wow. And then some...
C'mon, I wanna see an evil Rika.. ;)
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Notice: Jenmoshka is currently unavailable the moment she is busy touching umbrellas
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Notice: Jenmoshka is currently unavailable at the moment as she is busy touching umbrellas
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-giggles at Eri-
Rika pulling the mood swings now, eh? :]
Well at least Yossie is a tad bit normal-er since the incident, so I'm glad to see her recovering from shock :]
Miki~! You know you want Yossie! You know you're better than Rika for her~! GO FOR IT~! <3
-returns hug- Final Fantasy rules, ne? :]
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The skin under my bandage is itchy beyond belief. Its 3:30am in the morning. I havent slept. Im starving (I ran outta cheese) I have to be at the airport in another 4 hours and I must admit Im a little cranky but for some WEIRD and OBSESSIVE reason I pull myself outta bed and I read chapter 16 knowing that you should have finished writing it by now. Lucky me - you have. Now on with the comment.
Weeeeell, Im glad we have some more game stuff going on. Footsies? Boo yeah. But Yossui as an accidentle target? Didnt see that coming. Sayumi? Didnt see that either (Lurkers yell: omfg, how dumb are you?) Yossui's talk to Eri after ...very leader like.
Ants in the pants and Miki's overly humourous remark made me laugh very loud. Repeatedly. For various reasons. Let's highlight one in particular shall we?
Miki is a fictional character. All her dialouge is written by the author of this fab-dab-u-lous story. So any thing Miki does or says is a result of the thoughts of Jenmoshka. Even all the pervy things. Which brings me to my summary - You are a perv deep down, I KNEW IT! HA!
In conclusion I have a question for you J.
Do you like cookies?
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Eri :ONxD: But Eri and Sayumi... Why I think that they are weird couple XD
Any way, great chapter again. Can't wait next one.
And please, just call me MDY :)
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You story writers sure know how to distract me from the mounds of Chemistry work I have to do. Oh well...reading these are much more fun ^.^
Kameshige~ yay! A slight mention even makes me happy.
Poor Yossie....and poor Miki....and poor Rika. It seems I feel bad for everyone now XD Well maybe not so much Rika..
Miki needs to go for it. She knows shes hot. We know shes hot. Yossie knows shes hot. She should just JUMP her or something. Seriouslly lol. I loved her ants in the pants comment XD classssic
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I felt so bad for poor Makoto! She just wanted some quality alone time with Yossui (who wouldn't)!
Miki's comment was a total win! I can totally imagine a smirk on her face after saying something like that!
Sorry for the short comment, it's been a long weekend (not quite Mikan-esque long, but long enough). As always, I'm looking forward to the next chapter! Keep up the great work!
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yay! another great chapter!!!
i can feel makoto's frustration on spending time alone with yossui! :ONfrustrated:
“So, Yossui, ants in your pants tonight or were you just fantasizing about me in there?” Miki gave a low throaty laugh enjoying the development quite nicely, having spotted the terrified look of Eri sitting across from them.
i like that line!!! whahahaha :ONhiakhiakhiak:
eri and sayu! i like that pair, too. hahaha :ONhee:
and yes rika let erika help you forget yocchan. :ONglasses:
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@ JFC Hmmmm…Now I want to try and throw you off a bit…NAKED MONKEYS!!!...did that work?
I'm not sure...were you just propositioning me? :P
Chapter Sixteen
Miki couldn’t help but throw out one of her infamous sarcastic comments in a less than a whispered voice.
“So, Yossui, ants in your pants tonight or were you just fantasizing about me in there?” Miki gave a low throaty laugh enjoying the development quite nicely,
“Miki, not here, keep those comments to yourself. Let’s just relax and have an enjoyable meal here.” With that, Yossui busied herself with her menu, ignoring the confused stares to her left and the still-terrified look across from her.
Dayum. Miki has a knack for taking advantage of situations like that. :lol:
Miki~! You know you want Yossie! You know you're better than Rika for her~! GO FOR IT~! <3
That's exactly what I've been thinking. Especially with this part:
Having already heard enough, Miki gave an audible “Feh!” and turned to leave, slamming the glass sliding door behind her thoroughly hoping to disrupt their moment.
:yep:
You are a perv deep down, I KNEW IT! HA!
In conclusion I have a question for you J.
Do you like cookies?
She's one of us. :twisted:
Give her a cookie anyway. :D
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It seems you are going to portray Erika as an antagonist, at least in Miki's eyes. Speaking of Miki, her comment RULES!!! So you have the tortoise and the hare together in you fic. Nice. This is all turning out very nicely. Keep it up!!
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Damn, this fic is going to turn me into a YoMiki shipper :evil:
But I'll just blame it on you and the way you're letting this story evolve ... because, seriously? In the natural progress of this story, I foresee some BIG YoMiki moments ;)
And psst, if I'm right, why not also some Rika/Erika moments? :P
Also, mentioning of Eri/Sayu FTW!!!!! :heart:
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HAHAHA for a moment there I thought Eri liked Yossi as well... OR she was told to do so by Miki. I love how you portray Miki in ur fic, cute yet cool... begining to like Miki MORE thanks to you!
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NOOOOOO!!! Rika has to fight for Yossi's love again!!!!!
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Ah. Pervy people are so creative :). Very.
Eri with the crotch thing! HA! i really didn't see that coming, at first I thought I read it wrong, and that maybe it was Miki all along and tried blaming it on Eri (I mean, Miki did stand up and curse...)... but hahaha! I loved Yossui saying that Eri has bad aim... xD classic.
*where the hell are all my PTA stamps dammit?!*
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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Wait, I get to comment first???? Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love the new chapter!!!! *rofl* at Mako, soooo cute ^^ And yay for Erika!!! Psst, she's actually a little older than Rika ^^
Also, Yossi stumbling over Yuko and Kei making out in the broom closet??? Muahahahaha, priceless :ONwahaha:
Damn, I need to get me some monkeys :: off to buy some ::
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The whole first part was all kinds of awesome! Yuko ousting Yossui, reminding her about going for drinks, then going on to business as usual in the broom closet was just as I'd expect from her. And Mako even got a grope in! lol
Rika, Rika, Rika, what are we going to do with her? All she's going to end up doing is hurting Erika too. Then what will she have left? Bad Rika, bad.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Hope you all get some lovin'!
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Just like each new chapter is the smell of yakiniku yearning for my taste *___*;
I freaking love Yuko in your story too! Comedy relief for the win!
Rika seems to fall under un-escapable predicaments too o_O My gahh, I can understand her if she decides to go bitchy because she can't get out of them and is forced to go along. Erika that trouble maker xD Now I'm off pondering whether her pushing Rika into dilemmas is intentional, or simply oblivious love...
:]
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o ooo Erika slept with Rika! this is my first time commenting on your story, I think..... but anways I really like this story, and this chapter
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yuko and kei.... broom closet.... :ONshock: :ONluvluv2:
erika and rika! whooohohohohoho
your chapters are getting more and more interesting. hahaha
poor makochan...
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It's already been said a few different ways but: Erika and Rika! OMG! Yay! Though this will probably end in heart break for all.
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I must confess that at first, I wasn't much interested in reading (yet another) YoMiki; but I decided to give it a try and now I'm glad I did. YoMiki or not, you keep pulling at my other fangirl strings with this fic, big time!
Keep it coming, please. Complication is always fun to read. ;)
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Weelllllll, Ill admit I totally forgot to read chapter 17. But Im glad that I remembered. I like this ending with Rika and Erika. Really cool. And...somehow really hot *wonders if she is developing a love for Biyuuden*
Well written. As expected. Story line is going good. As expected. That door slamming was Miki?
Lol@ Yuko and Kei in the closet
Lol@ Mako and her hands
Lol@ Yossui 'cause she is just Yossui and everything she does is just freaking awesome
You like cookies eh? Here's some I prepared earlier ^^ If you cant read it is says " P E R V . " They uh...kinda expanded in the oven (but tasted great)
(http://img77.imageshack.us/img77/9357/picture005vq1.jpg)
Shortbread and white choc chips if you're curious
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Complication is always fun to read.
Aha... so true!!
And it is fun knowing so many people love to be with Yossie in this fic. Cause that's just the way she is... i think...
Love the last chapter with Makoto... please post soon!!!
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Impulsively carressing Miki's face, are we, Yossie? A few steps closer to a better relationship <3
Roffle at Yuko's love for breasts...chicken breasts :] Nonetheless, her and Kei's attempt of cheering Yossie up was nice <3
Erika still gives me that scheming vibe. Even if she's acting nice around Rika... Perhaps she might manipulate Rika into turning against Yossie... Unless Rika is strong enough to have judgement of what's right or wrong, regardless of what state she is in...
I look forward to your next chapter m'dear. Did I give you a hardhat for protection of writer's block? If not, -gives another- :]
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Yay for even more Yuko and Kei! I've really been liking them more and more as this fic goes on. And Miki did get close. I wonder if Yossui will be able to win the bet. Then again, if she doesn't, I'm somehow not seeing that as necessarily a bad thing. By the way, how many days are left in the bet? I've lost count. My bad, sorry.
I totally have to agree with Yuuyami that Erika has that scheming vibe going. But that might just be due to her being like that in len.chan's fic. It seems to be stuck in my mind now.
Looking forward to the next chapter! And if you do get more writer's block, I'll be looking forward to a new drabble! Win, win! :MKgroovin:
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wow erika really wants her that bad i guess, to tell her things like that
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Ahhhhhhhhh...can always count on Yuko for a good laugh. :lol: Wonder what Yossi's going to do (if anything) as/when she gets more sloshed?
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... Oh closets... I shall experiment now... * yeah right!*
Anyway, damn the breast joke! Loved it. Miki stretching! <3~ Effing love '85 girls.
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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Erika does sound a mite bit desperate, but oh well, I guess once you go Charmy, you can't go back.
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Somewhat disappointed in more than one way, Miki shot an unseen glare at their teacher and chalked it up to a close one. “Almost…” Miki whispered to herself, as the lesson continued
ahhhh!!!! :ONfrustrated:
However, Yuko interrupted her dreamy state of sorts, “Did you wanna touch my breasts?”
“EH?!? Shocked, Yossui choked on her fresh martini.
“I said,” Yuko began, sounding rather annoyed, “Did you want some of my chicken breast?”
mwhahahahaha
yuuchan is soo evil.... :ONkekeke:
“Forget about her Rika-chan, she’s not worth your tears…”
ghod erika. make rika forget! i'm beginning to like this v-u-den love....:ONluvluv2:
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Rika sounds like a sociopath...or a psychopath..or..maybe she just sounds like Rika. Moving on.
BREASTS!! Yes, indeed. Not a word you wanna have on the screen in a crowded area as it attracts attention. Lol.
BALLS OF STEEL!! (Yes, as you must have guessed I had to yell that out loud upon reading it..) ...Yossui has BALLS OF STEEL (Im having too much fun now..)
Somewhat disappointed in more than one way...
*looks out onto the dusty horizon of OTGWP* Is that...a cookie I see?
Btw, has anyone had problems seeing that perv cookie picture I posted earlier?
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However, Yuko interrupted her dreamy state of sorts, “Did you wanna touch my breasts?”
“EH?!? Shocked, Yossui choked on her fresh martini.
“I said,” Yuko began, sounding rather annoyed, “Did you want some of my chicken breast?”
I fell off my chair cause I was laughing so hard! That was GREAT!
Ahhh... seems like Erika wants Rika as bad as Rika want Yossie.... but their names sound weird.... Erika and Rika don't really fit.... Yossie and Rika is more common? Haha....
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Ohhoohooo that was so closeXD Don't let Miki win this bet, Yossi:panda_haha:
Have to like Yuko in this fic! She's so... Let's say free, careless and funny XD
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Miki is using herself as bait to win the bet! but who cares! hot moment hot moment..... then again be strong Yossi!! besides I think all that resisting will surely make both of em attracted to each other even more right?
edited: perfect timeing! between comment replies and next chapter!
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Waaaa, I didn't even get around to commenting on the last chapter and now the new one's already out! Damn, that happens when you're stuck with writing papers for university *grr*
Anyway, I'm glad you solved the Rika/Erika thing. I'm sort of glad that it went this way, because I'd hate to see Erika turn into a jealous bitch. So, thumbs up :D
But there will be a RikaMiki confrontation and it's going to be bitchy all the way. That's something I can deal with :P
Also, Yuko/Kei is always FTW, so yay yay yay for my favorite couple :heart:
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Yossi isn't in love with Miki?... not yet? aww she still has Rika in her heart yay~ (assumptions only)... But then after what Rika did, I'm not sure anymore... Your making me confused!! and poor Yossi, she's drowning her sorrows in alcohol. Wonder who answered the phone... drunk Yossi? Nakazawa-san? or Kei-chan? Anyways nice chapter!
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I laughed so hard when we found out it was Kei's credit card that Yuko was using! It figures though!
I'm actually glad to see that Yossui isn't in love with Miki yet. It's only been 10 days (thanks for the count, jen) since things really started to escalate. It hasn't even been that long since Rika slapped Yossui. It would just be moving too fast if she was already totally over Rika and heads over heals for Miki. We've got plenty of time left for that to happen and plenty more story to come (I hope)!
Like always, I'm looking forward to the next chapter (I want to know what Miki left for Yossui)! Keep up the great work! :heart:
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Yossi is just confused. She doesn't know who she is in love withXD But she will realize that Miki is the one she loves, or that's what I hope:ONhee:
Can't wait to read what Miki left to Yossi. New pictures of herself?XD
And I'm also looking forward to what Rika is going to say to Yossi.
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IshiYoMiki FTW!!!
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Yay lots of new stuff! Poor Yossie almost lost in 2 chapters back. That Miki is a tricky one. I used to think Yossie was strong...but after THAT she must be like a freakin rock. Miki stretching *drool*
Yuko and Kei XD That was so great. Kei's right...that was so mean. But that's Yuko for you. Yukei is awesome...glad you worked it in here ^.^
Uh oh..Rika and Miki confrontation. I smell a cat fight....I hope >:P
Poor Erika. Well atleast Rika didn't lead her on anymore or anything. That was nice of her...I guess
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Go Erika! That's the kind of response I was looking for. Hmm, maybe a little too early for guessing but I'm thinking either Yossui ends up with Miki, despite Rika's best efforts and in the end Rika just accepts it. Or Yossui goes back to Rika and Miki's pissed but endures it silently.
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Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! How could you leave your fic like that? I want to know teh conversation between Rika and Yossie!! Haha...
I love how you plot your fic.... Yossie is so confuse with her feeling.... (didn't i tell you i love complicated feeling? Haha...) So, she's not in love with Miki..... not yet.... but soon? Maybe she didn't realize it. But Miki is already in love with Yossie right?
Post soon....
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Ah YoCharMi. It's better than breathing Oxygen :)
I'm really seeing that mud or jello wrestling idea coming soon!~ *ok not really, but its one of my parallel universe thoughts*.
-Owaranai_sLaVe
Yay for not sleeping~
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Rika dialed the familiar number and didn't have to wait long for someone to pick up on the other end, “Hello, Yo-chan?”
a drunken yossie answers the phone perhaps? :ONhehehe:
“I won’t stop loving you Rika-chan, I promise…”
:ONluvluv2: wow, erika is so in love with rika. hihihihi
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Man. I've missed a bunch of you wonderful chapters. So...Erika really cares about Rika but she's willing to let her go(my interpretation). Besides, there's another member of Biyuden you can hook up with. XD Rika, you've taken so many hearts...be careful or you might not end up with any of them. <--the end of a friends drama, more or less. Oh~ Miki and Rika face off. So, winner gets Yossie?:P
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wow, that was great, well written too. keep up the good work.
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ahh leaving the fic at a high point I see? o well nice chapter anways
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WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!?
Hahaha! From the shadows they come!!
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Mikan-sama... I do believe this fic is something else....
don't know... maybe becouse it's writen by a self-proclaimed lurker...
and it's a damn good story.... with some awesome conversations....
don't know at all....
but tha fact is: it manages to bring lots of lurkers to the bright side...
and guess what! you can count another one!
Awesome work here!
I just red all previous chapters and I'm looking forward to reading the next one! loved it!
[hey.... you still owe us a hot YoMako scene! I love Makoto... you can't just leave her this way XD]
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And the true feelings come out in the drunkenness.
Ishiyoshi ga suki!!
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I snorted. You should have heard it. I tried to laugh but yeah decided to stifle it..so it came out as this "pffnnn*snort*" ...Anyway! First order of business!
Your reply to my comment (Jen - "@Mikan Shizzam ^^")
Nobody says it better than Natsuo (See Sig.)
Chapter 20
Well, its just like the rest. Which may sound bad but really, its not like that at all. What I mean is that your style hasnt varied much. I think you're still growing and I very much expect myself to be writing full reports on how you have developed as a writer and such.
Btw, Im glad you changed those little things I picked you about XD Nice to see the parties are in the right place. SPEAKING OF PARTIES! Did you just write me up in this fic as Yossui or what? Lol!!! I had a chuckle at the umbrella reference. Good times...goooood times. It also sounds like me to try and take my shirt of to show of my abs (even when Im sober)...dont you think?
Ahhh...the pinching of skin. A really good friend of mine read me this kick ass story by this kick ass writer (who is also very attractive I might add) about pinching and the dangers of. What are your thoughts on the subject?
Oh and another thing to make me lol is Yuko breaking off with the beer. "They bore me". LOL...I can image that.
Story wise this is great. Its not so drama and I can kinda see where this might be going but who knows, you might surprise me! Rika seems like a goody goody taking care of Yossui and not taking her up on the kiss.
So this is a rather decent spam! Im happy! And you appear to still be sleeping so I hope that when you wake you appreciate this because depending on your writing speed this might be my last comment on your story for a while :(
Love,
The Great Mikan XD
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Yay! You're back!! I've been checking this thread everyday and it driving me half mad already. And this chapter is awesome!! Too bad Yossie is drunk, she won't remember that kiss, will she? and what rika have in mind slightly worried me.... my prediction is, she'll took yossie back to her apartment and then what? miki found out? Uh-oh, I'm scarred for Yossie....
Keep posting!!!
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Welcome back! You were missed! :heart:
Can I just say that I love drunken parties? Whether you're experiencing them or hearing about them, they never fail to amuse!
Does Yuko know about Rika and Yossui? I can't remember offhand. If she does, why would she tell Rika to take Yossui to her (Rika's) apartment? Maybe she's up to something, or maybe she really is that drunk. :P
I can't wait to see what happens when Yossui wakes up (probably in Rika's bed, I bet). Keep up the awesome work, Jen!
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As hot as that should have seen to me, it can't be. Why? It reminds me too much of the Korea comedy "Sex is Zero" and there was a drunk scene there that had make out/kiss... and it ended with a barf.
So upon linking that, all I think of is Yossui barfing into Rika's mouth >.> *shudders*
But yay~ as long as I see some hot fighting, I think life can go on :) I like my parallel universes and my theories :D
Oh, how I love abs. <3
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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Yossui smiled as Rika leaned into kiss the younger woman on the lips, however gravity escaped Yossui as she fell flat on her face in the middle of the hallway.
OoOoh the sexual tension~!!! XD
I love your fic, jenmoshka! Good thing this writer's block is over and done with...yes? er, I probably shouldn't jinx this...
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Drunk Kei is always entertaining. :lol: And what was Yossi going to say to Rika before she passed out? :o
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a drunken yossui!!!
“Feh!” Yossui started swaying back and forth before steadying herself between Rika and the cold wall. “I’m in the best condition of my life!” She slapped her stomach once then raised her shirt to inspect her abs. Yossui giggled as she traced the toned lines of her stomach, tickling herself accidentally.
hahahaha! i would love to see that in real life. :baa60776:
hehehe it's a yoishi chapter. ^__^
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What else can I say but ... you rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, no words except for that :heart:
Okay, maybe a few ;)
Such cute Ishiyoshi interaction!!!! I really hope they'll end up together!
And Yuko is always :heart:
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“…GAM…mmmm…sure I’ll do arts and crafts with you…” Rika’s eyes showed her surprise at the comment as Yossui pulled away from her touch, flipping over on her side and continuing to snore away happily. Somewhat offended, Rika huffed loudly and stalked off to the bathroom to take a very long, very cold shower, leaving Yossui to her drunken dreams.
Ouch...:ROTFLMAO:
Miki skipped down the hallway, at least it may have been a skipping motion if she would ever actually be caught doing any such act
Holy crap that would be so cute! :heart:
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I'm not entirely sure what I want to comment on in this chapter. Maybe something about how naughty and/or sweet Rika is being. Or maybe a sympathetic nod towards Yossui's hangover. Or curiosity over Miki's 'art work.'
Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
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Well, here is the irony...you did get the chapter up 16 hours before my departure...the funny part is I cant make my usual report because a) Im lazy and b) I have to pack my bag XD
Ciao!!!
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Rika quickly followed the taller woman. She sat down next to Yossui and gently rubbed her back as the younger woman revisited all of the alcohol she had consumed that evening.
I love this part. She's there to comfort her. I really thought she would do something evil but it turns out to be this way... as a friend.... so touchy.... and just how upside-down yossie must feel.
My fave scene....
1. the moment Miki stroke Yossie hair!!! (I really want to see this in real life....)
2. Rika comforting Yossui while she's having her bad morning...
3. Rika slap Yossie...
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...upside down?
*sings Mr Moonlight...*
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You know, I'm so undecided about if I'd like this to end up Ishiyoshi or Yomiki. Especially after a chapter like this. Ah, I just can't make up my mind! But either way, I'll be happy. :heart:
I can't wait to see what Miki has in store for Yossui! Keep up the great work, Jen!
Oh, and Mikan, you totally got Mr. Moonlight stuck in my head now. Not that I'm complaining, though! :MKgroovin:
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'Yossui shifted again before mumbling quietly, “…GAM…mmmm…sure I’ll do arts and crafts with you…”'
three-some?! :ONdunno: Oh my!
Awww, Rika's nurturing side is showing. Wonder what would happen if Rika answered Yossie's phone...:ONkekeke:
drama!
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Yossui shifted again before mumbling quietly, “…GAM…mmmm…sure I’ll do arts and crafts with you…”
Ha, poking at your own fic! (One Sunday Afternoon) I knew this seemed strangely familiar... XD
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Great new chapter! Glad to see the Ishiyoshi interaction ^^
She pulled out the spare key she had conveniently made for herself being as there had been a serious lack in ‘lost’ credit cards to use lately.
:ROTFLMAO: Nuff said :P
It had cost her a pretty penny to get all of the color photocopies done up but it would be worth the potential rise out of the Morning Musume leader.
Now I'm curious what is on those photocopies ...
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*bump* :heart:
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*bump*
*Jen-mosh pit*
I should be shot
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*Jen-mosh pit*
I cracked up quite a bit at the mental images that conjured.
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wow this is really an awesome fic...ishiyoshi....now i really want to know what miki did to yossie's room
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ha, little hungover Yossie, I love it.
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Hmm Seems I haven't done my part :D
Taking from Blizz's note, I'm going for YoMiki~ Ohhhhh yeah. Hahah Yossui, Miki, and Aya. I can settle for that.
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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Yossi nearly kissed Rika! meaning she almost lost the bet! but I wonder what Miki did to Yossi's room... I'm guessing she filled her room with all her posters.. And how would Miki react when she finds out Rika is taking care of Yossi... cat fight?
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Yossi nearly kissed Rika! meaning she almost lost the bet!
Holy crap I totally didnt think of that...! haHA~!
JEN...JENMOSHKA! Where the hell are you? Get ur ass over here and write something. Lest I be force to ...to bring back Jacques... >:D
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Yayyyy new chapter... its about time! So is Aya gonna try her best to make Yossi lose the bet?? *clapclap* can't wait for next chapter if theres gonna be a short Aya x Yossi moment!! and what does Miki need with rolls of toilet paper and industrial sized plastic wrap for? It was Miki who requested these from Makoto right? btw... Makoto is like a little pet of Miki huh following her every orders.. how cute
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Im grumpy
Blame the hormones.
And I feel like Im hung over.
I dont know who or what to blame for that because I dont remember much of yesterday. Something about porn.....Anyway...
Its nice to have you back and writing. Yay!
This chapter wasnt full of much action so it was purely "Im eating the chocolate not because I like it, but because I needa get through it to eat my damn almond"
Sorry for the analogy. I think this is pay back for your wack analogy you gave me the other day...dont try and get me to remember what it was about. My head hurts too much...
Let's hear a yay for Aya though! YEAH YEAH MECCHA HOLID-ah -GAM!
I pulled a Miki and slobbered all over Jacques btw...I forgot to tell you last night. It was pretty nasty...
Till next time my friend (although youve probably disowned me after reading this...)
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You crack me up, Mikan.
Hmmm....... I wonder, I hope its not Aya in HER photographic glory all over Yossui's room xD that's so wrong and tempting.
Glad you're back and writing.
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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Yay, you're back :luvuluvu:
I wonder how Aya will help Miki... Hmmmmm... Aya+Yossi would be interesting ;D
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I sense destruction...
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oh.... the expectation...
[and why the hell is gaki always running, for god sake!]
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I'm very glad to see that you're still writing! :heart: I was starting to get worried!
Yui, Yui, Yui. I think we all wonder what really goes on inside that brain of hers. ???
Way to go Mako the prankster! How many girls are going to be stuck without tp when they need it most now! And the saran wrap! God I love pranks! >:D
I wonder how long Yossui's going to leave Aya's pictures up. I keep thinking of those pictures/paintings where the person's eyes would stare at you no matter where you were. I couldn't imagine a room full of them. It'd just be too creepy to have however many Aya Matsuura's staring at you.
I want Yossui to win the bet because, well, she's Yossui and she should win, dammit!
I hate to be a lazy ass, but can I ask for another day count? I'd go back and reread it, but I hardly have the time to keep up with new chapters, much less reread my favorites. But then again, what's missing a couple hours of sleep in the grand scheme of things. I'll figure something out. ;)
Like always, keep up the great work, jen!
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Note to Readers of OTGWP: Yoshizawa's room in this last scene is in actual fact Jenmoshkas room down to the very detail of the strategically placed candid shot of her beloved Ayaya....
*edit*My room is actually the set from Matsuura Aya's PV Nee~ ....there you have it ^^
Just a bit of trivia there for you...
Ok, now back to some Mosh-bashing..
YO! I leave you alone for 2 days and this is what happens? Another chapters? Wow. I hinder you that much...lol. Well, Ill be on hiatus some more...perhaps for the rest of the week....perhaps in the mean time you'll feel inspired to write me a perv? (GOD DAMN IT! SOMEONE WRITE SOMETHING SMUTTY!)
Muhahahahahha....
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Well Yui is pretty much like a dumb blonde in here huh.. haha and YAY~ my little prediction might be coming true! Matsuura Aya can throw herself on to Yossi all she wants but pleaseee don't let Miki win the bet! But doesn't it bother Yossi to have sooooo many pairs of eyes staring at her (tho their just posters..)
Ok so that explains what the saran wrap was used for (poor whoever who'll be using the toilet after that), but I'm still curious to know what Miki is planning to do with so much toilet paper.
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“Ah…that’s okay Yoshizawa-san. You wouldn’t believe how often that happens to me, it’s like I can’t keep anyone’s attention for more then a minute or two.”
*GIGGLES* wow. xD just wow.
LOL. Miki, you're too G for me.
Awww, ONLY Aya? We all know Gotou provides the same, if more, goods as Aya. I think that could have been a powerful blow. Hehehe, the old Gotou and Yossui couple. (Damn, who HASN'T been paired with Yossui? o.O)
HAHA, that's exactly how I would react to what Miki did (because I'd either be doing what Miki did or be the one recieving it). Just lay back, let it settle, and take care of it later.
And I'm pretty sure Miki was smart enough to use her hot pictures, and not her silly ones. I mean, it packs more of a punch :]
Heh, if that really was your room Jen, Id ask right now - how much ink did it take you to do all that?
-Owaranai_sLaVe
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You know, I'm convinced that the poeple we see as dumb are actually genious evil masterminds that have everyone fooled with their innocent act. Take Yui and Nono for example. Both don't seem like the sharpest tools, one is a certified Bakajo and the other's breasts prove her dimwittedness, right?
Wrong.
Yui is actually the person pulling the strings in Biyuuden, subtly manipulating ever action that's taken, from the song writin to the PV production. She just can't decide what she looks best as, girl or bunny...
And Nono? We'll have to wait and see how successful her newest plot is, after she ingeniously got rid of the one person that could ever possibly hold her back. Poor Aibon.
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First to comment! whoa it's been a month and a half since the last chapter?!
anyways nice chapter! can't wait for the match~ their not gonna rip each other's swimsuit off are they? So will Yossi but more attracted to Miki (or Aya) after this then?
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The entire time I read this I heard your voice narrating it. A rather interesting experience.
Jello Wrestling. You werent kidding. There is going to be a continuation on it is there? Otherwise this is going to be the most abstract chapter in the history of JPHIP. I now also have a craving for Jello.
Ah, my ass has gone numb...
Im wondering why you changed Saran wrap to Cling wrap. How odd.
Is masturbation against the rules btw?
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GAMble rumble! :shakeit:Awesome!
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“I feel left out of the loop in Viyuuden…it’s like I barely exist when Ishikawa-san and Miyoshi-san are together. But I can tell when something’s wrong! It’s like a 6th sense, I swear it’s like they pulsate or something when there’s conflict!” Yui placed her hands on her chest to emphasize her point.
Shame on me! I didn't notice this the first time I read it... :rofl:
Miki smiled an evil-Miki smile as a low growl escaped her throat. Crouched, arms at the ready, fingers like claws, Miki, holding her breath, waited for the signal and for her fun to begin. Aya’s eyes darted back and forth between Maki, Yuko and Miki’s faces, looking more worried as each second ticked by.
Hahaha! She shouldn't worry much, she'll probably enjoy it. :lol:
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1st Annual H!P Jell-O Wrestling Extravaganza!!!
Best...idea...EVAR!!! :shakeit: :drool:
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1st Annual H!P Jell-O Wrestling Extravaganza!!!
Best...idea...EVAR!!! :shakeit: :drool:
[/quote]
If one thing can revive H!P its this..
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I wanna say that I've been lurking and join alll the other lurkers that have 'come out' so to speak. But I can't cos I've only just read this fic :cry:
Great story. I've never read anything Ishiyoshi and have really enjoyed this. Even though my favourite H!P members don't feature in it. :D I will be reading this intently from now on and hopefully will be able to post some more 'inspiring' comments. I'm not too good with words! :(
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yaaaayyyy! new chapter! i'm having a little bit of withdrawal of what is going to happen next in your fic! :on lol:
nyaahahaha! i can imagine yossie's reaction on the jell-o wrestling.... --> :mon blood:
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thanks for the new chapter!!!
“Wait, one of the Berryz is on fire?! Which one…?” Yossui couldn’t hide her slight amusement at the thought, however the seriousness got to her and the stern look of a seasoned leader quickly overtook the enjoyment on her face.
“Hell if I know, I can never tell ‘em apart anyway.”
Haha, this is funny. It happens to me too. I still can't memorize the Berryz name, not yet. :banghead:
Whatever reason is, please continue the story... I've become so addicted to this...
Because I want to know what will happen to the bet...
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1st Annual H!P Jell-O Wrestling Extravaganza!!!
Best...idea...EVAR!!! :shakeit: :drool:
i die :inlove:
how can be yossie's reaction?? :mon cweepy: :twisted:
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Ah, new chapter :farofflook: I'm so happy you're back :farofflook:
I know you can win this bet, Yossi. Especially now, with that loophole :kekeke:
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Oh, you're back with an awesome chapter.. thank God!!!
“You…you self-serviced didn’t you?!” Miki glared at Yossui as though she could see it in her leader’s eyes.
“And?” Yossui steeled herself from the initial shock and grinned at her friend.
“And…” Miki scowled at the Morning Musume leader towering above her.
“And…?” Yossui pushed again, her grin widening.
Yossui!! You're cheating!!! Yeah, it wasn't in the rules but that's not fair!! Haha... but Yossie is smart... damn smart... she manage to find something to keep on survive in the bet....
:rofl:
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“Oh, hi Nakazawa-san, how’re you? Oh, were you trying to reach me earlier? Ah yeah, sorry, I must have been in the shower. Ah, hey, I was thinking about calling you actually. No, not for that…that either, no…no, see I had this idea. What are your thoughts on Jell-o? Yeah…really? You, what?! Where?! Uh…with you? No, Nakazawa-san, I really don’t think…no, I don’t…I don’t think it’s a good…” Yossui sighed and slumped up against the wall, eyes closed, banging the back of her head lightly against the cold wall behind her. “It’s just, no…no it’s not like that…wait, no, tonight? I’m sorry, I just…no tonight, I just need some time alone. Okay? Another time Nakazawa-san, you know how it is. Okay, thanks, bye.” Yossui stayed in her slumped position for a moment, relieved at her not so smooth escape of another night of assured insanity with the top-most daunting woman in H!P.
I would so love to hear the other half of this conversation. :lol:
“Not now…” Yossui mumbled to herself. “Anyone but her…with her perfect breasts, and beautiful slender…argh…” Yossui’s eyes glazed over slightly as she watched her long-time friend bounce towards her.
I love how you described that. Poor Yocchan having to face off with Maki's mysteriously-appearing rack.
“Umbrellas!” Yossui cries suddenly, surprised out of her thoughts. “Uh Gocchin, Hi…” Yossui says sheepishly rubbing the back her head.
“What was that about umbrellas?” Maki asked, eyebrows raised.
WTF, Umbrellas?! XD
“Baseball…cold showers…pizza…mmmmmm…” Yossui’s chanting became melodic as she matched her footsteps to the rhythm of her words. “Miki…she won’t win…cold beers…warm baths…practice…ahh Gatas practice tomorrow…can’t forget…dance practice…stretching… Miki…oh god…” Yossui shook her head again, aggressively, wanting desperately to not succumb to her thoughts and grab the next living thing that passed by her at that moment.
She walked on, determinedly, however as her arm brushed up against the potted miniature palm that had been placed in the hallway to break up the monotony of the barren hall, her breath caught in her throat. Yossui stopped mid-stride, goose bumps raising the little hairs on her arm. She turned around and faced the potted plant with a look of pain and desperation in her eyes. She sighed and dropped her gaze to her feet for a moment to collect herself before turning and continuing on her way, without so much as a look back at that inviting palm.
Hey, a palm tree IS a living thing.... I guess. XD
Poor Yossi! I think you like torturing your characters almost as much as I do.
The next day, Yossui, relieved of the usual tension, bounded into the cafeteria happier than usual. She spotted Miki across the room sitting alone, coffee mug warming her hands as she read over that day’s schedule and headed directly for the groping demon. Miki looked up at the approaching woman and caught her eye. Yossui almost stopped dead in her tracks as she met Miki’s stare. ‘She knows…’ she thought to herself.
“You…you self-serviced didn’t you?!” Miki glared at Yossui as though she could see it in her leader’s eyes.
“And?” Yossui steeled herself from the initial shock and grinned at her friend.
“And…” Miki scowled at the Morning Musume leader towering above her.
“And…?” Yossui pushed again, her grin widening.
“And…ugh!…screw you Yoshizawa! That’s not fair!” Miki threw her hands up in the air in emphasis and folded them crossly across her chest. The sub-leader slumped back in her chair a glowered at her friend.
“Wasn’t in the rules was it?” Yossui laughed to herself as she strutted out of the cafeteria, head held high, chest puffed in triumph, completely forgetting to breakfast. She had found a loophole. Yossui had been given a renewed spirit in the game that had been, quite simply put, kicking her ass.
Yossi: :hee:
Miki: :grr:
Fan-freaking-tastic. Way to abuse that loophole there, Yoshizawa!
I love this fic, please do keep going! :love:
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Yossui squeeze her hands together, ready to burst at any moment, jump in after the GAM duo, and get in on the jell-o flinging action herself,
Hey, if Yossi wants in and wants to roll around in Jell-O with Miki and Aya, I say let her! :rockon:
She wiped a hand across her lips to chase away that errant drool, and realized her pocket was still vibrating. Suppressing a giggle, Yossui stuck her hand in her pocket. As she did, her eyes grew dim, having trouble focusing on her surroundings. “What the hell…” Realization hit hard and fast, the Morning Musume leader growling every curse word in her vocabulary as her eyes began to focus on the candid poster above her. “Aw, ffffu..”
***
Yossui wandered aimlessly through the halls of the H!P apartment complex, deep in thought when her pocket began it’s usual song and dance. She sighed and pulled out her mobile.
It was just a fuckin' daydream, wasn't it. :mon suspect:
Dammit.
“Yochan!” A familiar voice called from the end of the hallway. Yossui looked up and around to watch as Goto Maki walked purposefully towards her.
“Not now…” Yossui mumbled to herself. “Anyone but her…with her perfect breasts, and beautiful slender…argh…” Yossui’s eyes glazed over slightly as she watched her long-time friend bounce towards her.
“Hey! I tried to call you earlier, kept going to voicemail.” Maki said as she reached where Yossui stood, spacing.
“Perfect, they’re absolutely perfect…” Yossui mumbled to herself quietly.
“Yochan, I’m up here!” Maki yells at Yossui snapping her fingers in front of her nose to get her attention.
“Umbrellas!” Yossui cries suddenly, surprised out of her thoughts. “Uh Gocchin, Hi…” Yossui says sheepishly rubbing the back her head.
Yossi = :mon sweat:
Maki = :bouncy boobs:
JFC = :drool:
Once out of sight Yossui slowed her pace again mumbling to herself as she walked down one hallway after another aimlessly. “Umbrellas, umbrellas, umbrellas…” She shook her head, trying to clear it of the images of her good friend, which in fact was not aided by the thoughts of umbrellas running rampant in her mind.
“Baseball…cold showers…pizza…mmmmmm…” Yossui’s chanting became melodic as she matched her footsteps to the rhythm of her words. “Miki…she won’t win…cold beers…warm baths…practice…ahh Gatas practice tomorrow…can’t forget…dance practice…stretching… Miki…oh god…” Yossui shook her head again, aggressively, wanting desperately to not succumb to her thoughts
...
Leader was on a mission, she knew what she had to do now, more then ever before, if she was to survive even just one more minute of the month-long bet with Miki. Yossui headed straight back for her apartment, to finish what her mind had started earlier that afternoon.
***
The next day, Yossui, relieved of the usual tension, bounded into the cafeteria happier than usual.
She di... ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. :lol: Well, the bet never said anything about THAT. :twisted:
“You…you self-serviced didn’t you?!” Miki glared at Yossui as though she could see it in her leader’s eyes.
“And?” Yossui steeled herself from the initial shock and grinned at her friend.
“And…” Miki scowled at the Morning Musume leader towering above her.
“And…?” Yossui pushed again, her grin widening.
“And…ugh!…screw you Yoshizawa! That’s not fair!” Miki threw her hands up in the air in emphasis and folded them crossly across her chest. The sub-leader slumped back in her chair a glowered at her friend.
“Wasn’t in the rules was it?” Yossui laughed to herself as she strutted out of the cafeteria, head held high, chest puffed in triumph, completely forgetting to breakfast. She had found a loophole. Yossui had been given a renewed spirit in the game that had been, quite simply put, kicking her ass.
Point...Yossi! :on lol:
Yossi = :wahaha:
Miki = :banghead:
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What was yossui gonna do? ravage the plant? Lol
ok i think we should explain the umbrella thing otherwise people are going to be missing out on a lot.
Umbrella explaination
Well, it started like most things do. With alcohol. Jen and I got drunk decided to put on a H!P PV playlist. When Goto Maki`s Some Boys! Touch came on it inspire me to tell her my theory of the subliminal messaging in that particular PV.
Firstly I goofed up the title when talking and called it `some boys touch umbrellas`. Thats just been an endless joke for us..anyway
The subliminal thing is that throughout the PV theyre flashes of light, did you notice? they come from those weird lights they use in photography studios called `Brollies`. Now what they are, are umbrella-like-things with lights in the middle. They keep flashing up in the PV for like a second or so. Whats kinda odd is that there are two, standing next to each other. Now, this is where it kinda turns to drunk-conspiricy. Having two brollies in the position is just odd because its not really effective when taking photos. HOWEVER! they do look a shit load like breasts. LOL. Watch the Pv, pause it. Seeing it flashing at you a few times (along with maki shoving her own in your face) would most likely have you thinking about them...
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*scratches head* oh....so was THAT the theory?...yeah, that day's still fuzzy for me. However...I do remember Goto's breasts and laughing at those light things....yeah, good times XD We must do that again.
So consider yourselves in the know of the umbrella theory and our drunken up-to'ings!
ha...umbrellas...
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What was yossui gonna do? ravage the plant? Lol
That would have been disturbingly interesting to see. :lol:
ok i think we should explain the umbrella thing otherwise people are going to be missing out on a lot.
Umbrella explaination
Well, it started like most things do. With alcohol.
Of course. ;D
*rest of umbrella explanation*
OMGASS!!! :on lol: :on lol: :on lol:
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<3 this fic.
moar :otomerika: plz
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Yeeeeaa!
yossie found a way to "evercome" (you know... yeah...) Miki's mind games....
and this just means...
Miki is gonna have to try even harder! Yeeeeeeeeee! xD
this is gonna be reeeealy good! ^_^
[you know what.... no one can blame yossie for having this kind of dreams if you sleep looking at such a photo! ._. ]
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aaahcckk! yossie, you cheat. hahahahahaha :wriggly:
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I have a special present just for Jen... My joining this board... Seeing she continuously was asking for the lurkers to come out I finally registered just to comment on this fic (although it will expand over to Almond's too :P)
So, Jen, you really got this lurker out, thanks! :D
Now on to the fic... Firstly, thank you for giving me a place to escape to over the last couple of days (thats how long it took me to read all the chapters) I've been having a rough time lately with yet another family breakdown and troubles with my boyfriend (oh how I wish I was gay :() so being able to forget all that and lose myself in your wonderful writing (and you can only do that when it is brilliant writing) has meant a lot to me :heart:
I hope your still inspired to write this and at your own pace... I can see ur not one to force things anyway which is good coz then it won't be what it could have been if tenderly written :)
Ummm, ok now I will try to scrape up some comments I thought of while reading:
* Rika go with Erika or someone else and leave my YoMiki alone :angry:
* I never thought of Yuko and Kei before but my god do they just keep everything in motion
* I so want Miki to win the bet coz I see her taking better advantage of it then Yossie AND she gets a whole week :heart:
* I have an overwhelming urge to type Miki over and over again :drool: :P
* blah I had so much more to say (but having a fight with one's bf when typing doesn't help the train of thought :P) so hopefully I will remember and just add another comment ;)
Again, thank you for being my escape from reality :wub: :heart:
I'm off to look at some Miki pics to make me feel better XD
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*comes out from lurker's corner* :mon hi:
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guess i'm the only one who still likes ishiyoshi then :|
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-pats- Don't worry, I've noticed a pattern with a lot of people, usually the newcomers of H!P find the Yomiki hong kong clips and fall in love with them xD I was a Yomiki obsesser too, but then I got to know H!P more and became a rabid Ishiyoshi and GAM fan xD
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I actually do like IshiYoshi, I just can't write Rika like....at all. XD
Oh and on topic, this fic is the shizit and I need more of it. :luvluv2:
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Well i guess I do think IshiYoshi are cute BUT I just don't like Rika in general so i would prefer Miki and I haven't seen any Hong Kong clips :O *writes that in notebook for things to do*