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Author Topic: Broken [JuriMayu sister's relationship][OS]  (Read 13535 times)

Offline Llyloo

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Broken [JuriMayu sister's relationship][OS]
« on: February 06, 2013, 12:34:25 AM »

Hello o/ I'm here with a little OS \o/ [ I post on a new topic since I want to separate a little my stories xD ] So, I'll just hide in a hole ~~ ( And thanks to LoyalFlutist for check my horrible english >w< ).

So here a Atsuyuu/Takamina story...

The Heart

I feel sleepy. Or not. Just as if my mind was in the mist, I felt nothing. No pain. No sensation. Nothing. I can’t move. I can’t even open my eyes. All my body seem slow. Even slower than my mind. I’ll just sleep a little more.

When I wake up, I felt it. My body. More reactive. More alive. Finally, I open my eyes. The light. The white room. All of that blind me for a moment. After a few minutes, behind the blur, I began to discern a shape. A person. A young woman. She’s smiling. An adorable smile. She then spoke. To me, I think. But I’m not able to understand what she said. My mind always on that damn mist. I’m just to weak. To sleepy. I’ll just sleep a little more.

A day has passed. I’ve become fully awaken. I’m now on a new room. A hospital room. I don’t like the hospital. How can one love it? Frankly, if you’re on a hospital, you’re either sick or hurt. I don’t understand why I should be happy to be here. I just want to go away. Return to my life. My life. What a joke. I don’t really remember all that stuff. Just my name and two or three things without importance. Did you know that when I was seven I was afraid that my toys been alive during the night and try to eat me? Yeah. I remember that but I don’t remember why I’m here. It’s just a big black hole. The door opens. A young women with short black hair enter in the room. I remember her I think. It’s the nurse. The first nurse that I saw on that hospital. The first person that I remember well on my confuse mind. I saw many people with white coat since I’m here. I wonder if they try to speak to me. I don’t listen them. The young woman seem to check some papers next to me. I follow her with my gaze. She then smiled at me. Honestly, I just love her smile.

“Oshima-san? How do you feel today?“

“Why I am here?”

“You had a car accident. You were seriously injured but now you’re fine.”

“Fine... Yeah... I think... Hehe... “

I let out a small laugh. Fine. I’m not fine. I’m not... I don’t know how I feel. It’s just weird. It’s just like something was different. It was... not right. My hand touched my chest. A bandage. I frowned. The young nurse smiled at me. A sad smile which broke my heart. No. That’s not right. Not really my heart.

“It’s not the mine, right?“

“Yes. You received a heart transplant.”

She started to exit the room. I just watch her back. Why? Why I’m feeling like that? I felt so sad. So... incapable. So...concerned? I don’t understand. I don’t understand how I felt, why I feel like that, and why I think like that. It’s just too complicated.

“Wait! What you’re name?“

“Maeda. Maeda Atsuko.”

She said it just enough loud for me to hear it. That name sounds so familiar. Like.... Like I’d already heard it. Like I’d already pronounced it. Like it resounds in my whole being. The silence takes her place again within the room. I’m now alone. My hand on my chest. Feeling the beat of that heart. Too many questions; too little answers. A heart. I wonder, who was the owner of that heart? I wonder, how that person could be dead? I wonder, why I’m here, living? And why? Why can’t I remove that smile out of my mind? Her smile?

The days pass. Then a week. I see her often. On the first time of the day. And honestly, I just waited for that moment where she enters in my room. Nobody came to see me. My memories didn’t come back. It’s just like... I was nothing before that accident. And now, I still feel like I’m nobody. In my room. Only doctors and nurses who don’t seem to have any interest on me. They just do their job. I’m just another patient. But her. Her. When she comes she always smile to me. She’s always kind. A little too quiet. Maybe. But I love our silence. It seem more reassuring than the constant silence when she’s not here. One day, she was next to me. My eyes don’t leave her. The more the days pass, the more I find her beautiful. And like always in silence, she began to leave the room. I have that need. That need to keep her here for a couple more minutes.



“Who give me that heart?“

She stopped. She just stopped. During an instant, I had that impression that she was trembling. The wrong question. The sensation that I asked the wrong question. To the wrong person. She didn’t say a word. During those couple minutes. I just stared back at her.

“I can’t tell you. The donation must remain anonymous.”

She leaves the room. Anonymous. So why? Why does all of my body claims that I know her? Why? Why my all body claims that I love her...? I’m lost. I’m just lost. With what I feel. What I think. Who I am. After that, she seems to avoid me. My body began to become more and more stronger. Now, I can leave my room. It’s not that corridors and lobby are places that I like on a hospital. But... It’s always better than my room. And just like that, I can try to find her. I don’t know why I do that. Why I still search her. It’s just as though my heart wants to find her. Want to be with her. But she was nowhere to be found. I climb the stairs for return to my room. Across the corridor. And I see that. That room. Nobody seems to be here. It’s just another empty room like there are many. But. I just enter. It’s seem familiar. It’s seem like... Home. My fingers touched the bed. Slowly.

“It’s was her room. It’s was Minami’s room.”

I turned back. She was here. Not wearing her nurse clothing. She was with a simple jean and a white shirt. She doesn’t look at me. She just smiles sadly to that room. I say nothing. I have nothing to say. I easily understand that I’m only here to listen her.

“She’s always been sick. She’s always lived on that room. But she was glad. I think. After all, she always say that she was glad. We knew that she will die. All people die one day, right? She really wants to keep me away from her; she really doesn’t want to let me suffer when she goes. But she, like me, we can’t. It was too natural to be with her. To love her. She said that.... when she dies... she really wants to help. So when you’ve arrived here with a need of a heart and... since she was already on her brain dead state... It was so sudden... I wasn’t able to tell her good-bye. I... I really think she’s happy to see you alive. “

She’s crying. She’s crying in front of me. And that... It’s just the most hearbreaking thing that I have seen in my life. Her tears on her face. That little smile when she spoke about that girl. I finally understand one thing. Even for her, I’m just a nobody. I leave the room. That room. I leave her. I walk quickly on the corridor. I don’t know where I go. I don’t know why I walk. I just have that need. A hand catch the mine. My head touched a chest. I heard. I heard the beat of that heart. Fast. I’m trembling; I’m crying. I don’t know why. I feel so well here. In her arms. And at the same time, I just feel that it’s not the right place for me. Why? Why all of that? It’s so complicated? Why? Why do I feel like I’m everything for her and at the same time, just a unknown individual? I just want all of that stop. I just want to run away. To run away from her. From that heart. From all that feelings that I can’t control.

“I don’t know. I love you. I really love you. I want you. I need you. But... Is it really what I feel? Or is it just that heart? All those feelings are mine or hers? I’m just lost. I don’t know who I am now. Who I was. Who I’ll be..“

My hand rested on her cheeks. I rise my eyes up on hers. I feel her tear between my fingers. I feel my tears on my cheeks. My lips touch hers. Again. And again. I love her lips. But I’m not sure that it’s really me who love it.

“I really want to love you. But... I can’t. I can’t be sure that it’s me. I don’t want to love you for her. I’m not enough strong for that. “

She smiled to me. She stroked my cheek. Sadly, I see it on her eyes. That she understand. She just too easy to understand. She surely feels the same. How? I know it. I see it. That love in her eyes. That true love. But how could I be sure that she loves me or that heart in my chest? It’s too complicated. Too hard. I understand now. Why a donation must be anonymous. It’s hard to be yourself when you see such a gaze on you. She kissed me. For the last time. Like a good-bye. She then leaves me behind. I don’t try to restrain her. It’s useless. All of that isn’t good. Some things must end. Like a life. Like a love. To be able to keep walking, I have the need to let her go away. It’s must frightening. It is. But I now know and it’s me. Really me. It’s maybe the only thing that I’m sure to feel. Maybe because Minami must feel the same wherever she is. It’s time for us to leave Atsuko to let her try to find a new happiness.

I died a few days later. My body rejected the transplant in the end. It could seem so ironic that after all of that, my body doesn’t want Minami’s heart. But I know that, in reality, it’s was already decided for all of us. For a moment I could  feel her love. Even if I was lost. I was glad. For a few weeks, I was the everything of someone. And she could say good-bye to Minami. And now, she moves on again.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2016, 01:29:00 AM by Llyloo »

Offline arrow27

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Re: The Heart [OS] [Atsumina/Atsuyuu]
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2013, 01:34:28 AM »
Yup, I teared up :P
Really great one shot. So much emotion and love in those few sentences, it was beautifully written :)

Great story, thanks for writing it :D You write really awesome fics! Looking forward to ur future fics and of course the continuation of 48 days :D

Offline stepk

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Re: The Heart [OS] [Atsumina/Atsuyuu]
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2013, 01:41:53 AM »
its a oneshot?
is a really good history and interesting
thanks.  :twothumbs

Offline cisda83

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Re: The Heart [OS] [Atsumina/Atsuyuu]
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2013, 08:12:47 AM »
Very heart-felt story.... Ah such a sad ending but at least comforting...

Yeah... Atsuko at least can say her good bye to Minami...

Yuko rejecting Minami's heart subconciously so Atsuko able to forget about Minami and moving on with her life...

Very good fic there... Thank you for the OS.

Can't wait to see your other creation

 :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs

Offline Kazan

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Re: The Heart [OS] [Atsumina/Atsuyuu]
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2013, 10:38:27 AM »
This story so sad but it's awesome
I used to watch movies chinese similiar story like this but i forget what the title of movie.
Thank you for write this fic

Offline LoyalFlutist

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Re: The Heart [OS] [Atsumina/Atsuyuu]
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2013, 12:45:54 AM »
It's a pretty sad story while I was proofreading (somewhat, LOL) it.  :badluck:

I wonder what Acchan's going to do right now?  :dunno:

I look forward to seeing your OS (and helping you if you need any)  :hee:

Offline Llyloo

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Valentine's day OS - Please, don't leave me. [Sayacchu- Maachun/Sayanee]
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2013, 01:28:42 AM »
@arrow27 : Ow *w* Thanks you very much *w*

@stepk : Yay it's a OS o/ and thanks you :3

@cisda83 : >< Il would a different end more happy but, when I wrote, for me the end should be a good bye xD. Thanks you o/

@Kazan : Ow, I don't watch chineses movies but if you find again the title, tell me, I'll maybe watch it o/ And thanks :3.

@LoyalFlutist : I wonder too xD. She's surely find a new lover like... FOOD 8D. And thanks you for helped me with that OS too >///<

Soooooo. It's Valentine's day. Yaaay ~~

For that day, I wrote a little OS for a pairing that I really love *w* I can't resist to my two Oshis in NMB ~ That fic it's a challenge for me for many reasons, especially because I was really affraid to write a Sayacchu fanfic, and more with Maachun POV.

Please, don't leave me.

Best friend. It seems to be a good position, right? How to properly say it... To be chosen as a best friend is a great honor that everybody should cherish. It’s a mark of trust and more. But sometimes it came that you start to really hate that position. Best friend. That word could became your worst nightmare. Because someday you could realize that you don’t want to be just a friend. You want more. I don’t know when I started to want more. To be more close to you. To be more important to your eyes. To be your everything? Haha. I’m like a selfish girl suddenly. It was natural for us to be friends. To be close. To do crazy things and share big laugh that, sometimes, only we understand. I’m really glad to be in that group. To be an idol. Because I met you. Because I can stand in stage with you. But since a couple weeks; maybe even a couple months, it’s hard to be here with you. To be like I’ve always been. To see you play with other girls. But at the same time, it’s just hell to not be next to you. I feel that I exist just to be next to you. Slightly behind you for support. Aaaaaah ~~ I wonder why I think about that right now. Maybe because it’s February. Maybe because Valentine’s day come soon. It’s weird for an idol to think about that. We aren’t allowed to have relationship. But, even with that Valentine’s day, it’s awaited by the members because it’s a day full of love between us. More than usual. Chocolates and hugs. But for me in reality, I always think about that. About you. I can’t change my mind. And even If I could, I don’t want to. But the more days pass, the more I can’t resist all of my feelings. Maybe. Maybe if I quit being with you; if I quit that group I could forget you?

The train stopped. On the way the crowd pressed against me. I just walk among them. Everywhere my eyes glance around, I can see you. Yes. We’re pretty popular here. It’s our place. The station close to our theater. But. When I think about that. I can’t escape to you. The Group 48 is pretty popular in all the country now. Even if I quit the group, l can’t escape your image; your smile. Everywhere. Haha, yes. It’s seems that I am condemned to see you. What a sweet punishment. It takes me just few minutes for come to the theater. I walk down the stairs quickly. I’m a little late. I know that they will all be already here. Maybe already ready for the next show. I finally entered on the dressing room. Yes. Like I said, they’re all here, chatting with each other. Practicing. Or take funny videos for their google accounts. A normal day. You’re the first to see me.

“Maachun! You’re late! What were you doing again?“

I let out a nervous laugh. Scratching my head. I feel a little uneasy to see your gaze on me. I take a deep breath. Scans the room with my eyes. Many girls are watching me.

“Hm... How to say that... I have an announcement to make.”

Now. All the eyes are on me. All the eyes of Team N are on me. Waiting for my next words. The last girls who were chatting stopped their conversations. A heavy silence. I could even see some anxiety on their eyes. Especially in yours. Wow. I had not planned to become the center of attention. But finally. This is not so surprising. I can see some of their eyes shine.  Tears on their corners. I should continue. I can’t keep much longer.

“It’s that... I think a lot today. On what I should do or not …”

I see Ripopo starting to cry. Some other girls too. It’s break my heart. But what is the most heartbreaking? It’s you. Your expression. You don’t shed any tears and yet you can’t hide all these feelings in your eyes. I need to say it. Really. Now.

“I couldn’t resist. I buy the last numero of boy’s love! Special Valentine’s day!“

I get out the bags that held the precious magazines. Raising my arms up high to show it to everyone. Many screams. Some of joy. Some of anger. Some of the girls hit me. Some of them just keep the magazines to read it in the corner. Some of them just cry and scream to me that I’m really stupid. Yes, I know. But it was really fun. I must confess. I’m really proud of me and that of my little effect. You don’t look at me. You're the one who holds the magazine and read it carefully. A big smile on your face. Like if all the feelings that you seem to feel some minutes before are already forgotten for the pleasure to read the last chapter of the wonderful love story between Keito and Akira. I just took my time watching you in the corner. All of that just for me to see your smile. It could seem stupid but it’s my little pleasure. Even if someday my popularity gos down and other things. While I can make you smile and support you, I would stay in this group; even in the shadows.

All the girls have already exited the dressing room. I’m finishing up  with changing my clothes for the coming stage. Just when I started to leave the dressing room, you came back with a little smile. Aaaah ~~ I just can’t resist my captain’s smile. I smile too. Surely like an idiot. She put the magazine in my hands. I look down at it.

“You can keep it if you want you know,“
I say to her.

“No,” she simply answered.

Then before I could react; before even I could think, she kissed me. A little kiss. Fast and light. But enough to give me wings and make me leave earth. She then leaves the room. I was just standing here with mouth wide open. Unable to come back to earth, I finally look down to the damn magazine which I got that precious present back from Sayaka. But something caught my eyes while I nervously turned the pages. On the first page. On the summary of the magazine there is a boy. An handsome guy drawing with short black hair. He said something. But what he actually said was erased with white out. Instead, I could recognize the handwriting of Sayaka.

“Mayu, be my valentine. And please don’t leave me. Ever.”

My heart leapt in my chest. A wave of happiness invade me. I twirl. I fall on the floor. The magazine against my chest. Like the most precious things on the world. The cold floor can’t take me away from my wonderful heaven. Sayaka wrote that. She wrote that. She want me as her valentine. She want me next to her. Aaaaaaaah ~~ I’m so happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. I want to die. But I can’t die now. It’s the most wonderful day on my life. I’m literally fangirling on the floor of Team N’s dressing room. A voice resounded in the corridor.

“Maachun! What are you doing? We’re waiting for you!“

I leave my heaven. Come back on the earth. Ah yes. It’s true. The stage will start soon. I stand up. Leaving the room, stumbling.

“ Aaaaaah ~~ I’m coming!“

There were all here next to the stage. Waiting for the start of the concert. They look at me when I came. Nana stands next to me. She looked at me with a suspicious gaze. Like if something was weird. I just looked back at her.

“You seem very happy.”

I just let a small laugh.

“I would not trade my place for anything in the world.”

“Eeh? Maachun~~ ? What were you thinking? You’re blushing ~~ ! “

I don’t answer. I just laugh with a big smile. My eyes crossed to Sayaka’s eyes who was looking at us since I’ve arrived. She’s lightly smiling. I don’t need to tell her yes. I don’t need to tell her what I feel. She knows it. She always knew it.

Offline LoyalFlutist

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Re: Valentine's day OS - Please, don't leave me. [Sayacchu- Maachun/Sayanee]
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2013, 11:56:56 PM »
The beginning was a bit of a troll to me. MOU....  :temper:

But I really like it! The two girls are cute~  :luvluv2:

Offline Llyloo

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It’s the only place where I need to be. [Mayuki][OS]
« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2013, 08:07:32 AM »
@LoyalFlutist : Hehe, Yay, I'm big troll sometimes ~~

Since I don't have internet at my place, I have the time to write and like Mayuki doesn't interract this times ~~ Fandom need more Mayuki, so here a Mayuki's OS.
(Sorry If I don't say more, I need to go to work xD )

It’s the only place where I need to be.

I ran in the corridor. Trying to avoid all of the obstacles in my way; what it is to be human or stuff. I don’t have time. Her schedule is as full as the mine. Maybe more. Surely more. But, even if it was only that. If only it was a story of busy days. We always had work. Always had big days without many rest. But it doesn’t restrain us to see each other, or just send some mails. I must confess I don’t always answer to her. But right now, I could give all I have just for receive one of her annoying mail. But nothing. Nothing since several week. It’s not that she’s busy. I know it’s more. Really more. She avoids me. She doesn’t even try to hide it. When I look at her, she looks elsewhere. When I try to be next to her, she just walks away. When I try to speak to her, she just puts on her cyborg face and ignores me.  I stop. Out of breath. She was here at a certain distance from the other members.

“Hey, Mayu!“ I said, trying to catch my breath.

She gazed at my direction. No smile. Not even her cyborg’s smile. In reality, there is just… nothing. A glacial glance. A shiver. I really don’t like when she looks at me like that. It breaks my heart. I know I did something wrong. She’s not someone who takes distance without reason.

“Sorry, I have lessons with Team A.”

And she just walks away. Leaves me alone in the corridor. Not so alone since staff and other members run around me. But I feel more lonely than ever before. I really felt lonely when the shuffle keeps her away from me. I really felt lonely when Team B’s lesson started without her as our ace. But I know I just feel lonely against that invisible wall that she puts between us.

Some days later

We were at the recording of a TV show. Senbatsu members are here. Mariko is taking photos with Jurina. Takamina talking with Yuko and Tomochin. Kojiharu sleeping on the corner, waiting for the start. And her. She was next to one table where bottle of water waiting for us. Her eyes read and read the script. It makes me laugh. I know she isn’t really reading. She’s just trying hard not see me; like that will make me disappear. What would a child do to fight against a monster, who is none other than I? Since when did I became a monster that we don’t want to see? I wonder... Or maybe I do know the reason why. Ever since that story of scandal. All of this shit started with that newspaper. Since the following day of that incident, Mayu started to avoid me. If the reaction of people and haters make me sad about that story, her reaction just breaks me down. Again, I try to approach her. I walked to her slowly.


She raises her eyes. And, without a word, turn back and go to Yuko. Having fun with her as though I was only a ghost. I turn my eyes downward. Days like that I just want to run away and cry. Because she make me suffer like nobody does.

One week later.

We were alone in the dressing room. Seriously, I don’t know how it could have happened. But I think that some other members were involved in this. Maybe they saw the problem between Mayu and I and let me a chance to get all of that cleared with the cyborg girl. If it’s that, I’m more than thankful to them. She was in front of me; arms crossed under her chest. Looking everywhere else other than me. Silence remains between us for a long time and, finally, I spoke.

“Are you mad for that story of scandal?”

She put her eyes on mine. She frowned like I’ve asked a stupid question. If that’s the case, then I already knew the answer. What I don’t understand is why she reacts this strong. I mean, it’s not  like it’s nothing, but it’s not … that hard to accept, isn’t it ? I rarely see Mayu mad. Even more against me. Generally when she’s mad, it’s against herself because she loses or because she can’t do something.  She answers me.

“Of course I’m mad. Why are you so stupid sometimes? Don’t you know that journalists are everywhere to find scandals about us?! “

Of course I know it. We all know it. It’s their job. Waiting for our mistakes and expose it to the country. We don’t have the right for error. We have to be idols of the time. I agree with that though; idoling has always been my dream. I try to defend myself.

“I did nothing wrong!”

She sighs like she was bored by what I said. So what?  What do you want to hear, Mayu? What do you want me to say? It’s as all what I could be saying will be wrong. When she spoke again, her voice was even lower. Not that she was becoming calmer. It’s even scarier.

“I don’t care. People don’t care. It’s too late. Even if you did nothing, even if there is no punishment, for the world it’s already the “Yukirin’s scandal”.”

I catch her shoulder. Shaking her a little. My face close to her. I can see  her wide eyes. I can feel her hot breathe on my lips. I really can hear my heart beating fast. I don’t understand. I just really don’t understand why she blames me like that. What are her reasons to avoid me, to make me suffer like she does since weeks.

“So you’ll blame and avoid me because I was in the wrong place at the wrong moment?! For that?!”

She escape from my embrace with a sudden movement.

“You really don’t want to understand!”

“Wait! What?! How can I understand all this shit?! Seriously... Sometimes I really wonder what happen in your cyborg brain...”

She turned back. I make a step. Hold my hand towards her. But I don’t feel the courage to touch her. I want.... I want to hug her. To take her into my arms and comfort her. But I can’t. I’m just lost. I just don’t understand her. Since I know her, I never had hard time for understand Mayu. Never. She’s always been like an open book to me. But now, she’s never be so mad against me. I see it. Her shoulders, shaking. She’s crying. I made Mayu crying. I just feel so bad right now. I put my hand on her shoulder. She jumped like she already had forgotten about my presence. Or maybe she had forgotten about our contact. I don’t really know.

“Hey... Mayu... Tell me... I don’t understand.”

“Do you just realized how far that story could have go ?”

She just whispered. There is fear in her voice. No anger. Just fear. I stretch my head. I know what she want to say. Scandal. That kind of thing could go far. Graduation. Suspension. Transfer. Even come back to trainee’s status. Who know what will happen for the next girl who will be get in scandal?

“Yeah... I’m in that group too you know, I had the opportunity to see scandal's result. But I’m still here. “

I’m not sure about the words to use. Because I start to understand that the scandal is not the real matter here. There is something more. Something about Mayu herself. Something who cause her fear and anger. I just wait in silence. Waiting for her to speak. Waiting for her to tell me what she has in her heart. After many long minutes she finally opens her mouth.

“People leave me. One by one. Because of shuffles, scandals or transfers. Nacchan leave me alone with her stupid scandal. Rabutan went to HKT and... and that shuffle separate us... “

So it’s that. We all know that we are in a group who change every day. Where people leave and come. Where we’re all rivals and all. But it can prevent us to being close to some people. And suffer when they went. We all know and feel that one day. And I know that Mayu feels that often. Maybe a little too often. She was a shy child when she came in AKB. She’s still like that. She’s not close to many people. But when she is, they became really important for her. And they left her one by one.

“Even if we’re in different teams now, I’m still here for you, you know.”

I force her to face me. I could see tears in her eyes. She doesn’t cry often. She’s a strong girl who doesn’t show her emotions. She’s proud. But now, she’s just like a child. She’s crying. She’s shaking.

“When the newspaper was published with your scandal. I was afraid...Like never...”

“Why? Don’t you have confidence in me? I’ll do nothing which could hurt you.”

I say to her with a kind smile. She just raise her eyes on me. She frowned. Suddenly mad again.

For a cyborg you’re really full of emotion today.  You push me, force me to take some step back. Your voice was louder.

“Stop to be so kind! Even if you don’t want, things like that happen. One day you’ll leave AKB48 in whatever way. You’ll leave me. You too...”

So it’s that. The real reason of all of that. The real reason of your avoidance. The real reason of your anger. You were afraid. Afraid that I’ll leave you. I wonder if I’m really the most stupidest of our two in that story.  Avoid people and try to forget their existence doesn’t protect you from the suffer of losing them. It’s even worst. It’s doesn’t make the things easier.

“ I could not stand it...”

I attract her to me. In my arms. Close to my heart. I just hugs her. I just embrace her with all the strength that I have. I just want to show her that I’m here. That I can protect her. That I’ll don’t leave her. I feel that she’s crying against my body. I even feel her tears on my chest. And I don’t care. I stray from her a little. Just enough to see her face and take off her tears with my fingers.

“Yes. One day I’ll leave all of that. I’ll leave the AKB.  But I’ll never leave you. Wherever I am, you could find me or call me, and then I would leave everything to be by your side.”

She look at me. Like child. Yes, she could be really childish sometime. Especially when she need to be reassure. I take her again in my arms and whisper to her ear.

“It’s the only place where I need to be.”

Offline kuro808

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Re: It’s the only place where I need to be. [Mayuki][OS]
« Reply #9 on: March 07, 2013, 09:59:48 AM »
Mayu in a situation had to be real despite her outward personality although Yuki was strong enough to corral the CG into her own.
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Offline Llyloo

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Re: It’s the only place where I need to be. [Mayuki][OS]
« Reply #10 on: March 07, 2013, 10:03:28 AM »
Hum... Yes ? - didn't understand what you say -.-" sometimes I'm such a baka in english - Sorry  :nervous

Offline kuro808

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Re: It’s the only place where I need to be. [Mayuki][OS]
« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2013, 10:10:53 AM »
Hum... Yes ? - didn't understand what you say -.-" sometimes I'm such a baka in english - Sorry  :nervous

I was just trying to run down the story in my mind and MaYuki interacting with each other
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Offline Chanaline

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Re: It’s the only place where I need to be. [Mayuki][OS]
« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2013, 11:56:21 AM »
It is realist...
Mayuki = Cutest couple

Married?!-Mayuki fanfic (maybe it will have another pair)

Offline mo-chan

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Re: It’s the only place where I need to be. [Mayuki][OS]
« Reply #13 on: March 07, 2013, 04:32:12 PM »
I hate AKB's scandals  :banghead: :banghead:
but I like this story  :D
I'm waiting for the season 2 of your ongoing FanFic  :deco:

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Offline mayuki_daisuki

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Re: It’s the only place where I need to be. [Mayuki][OS]
« Reply #14 on: March 07, 2013, 05:51:34 PM »
awww poor mayu doesn't want to lose yuki :cry:, and i agree mayuki should be together  :yep:
yuki will always be by mayu's side whatever happens to them :deco:
i hated that scandal about yuki, its all lies :angry:
thanx for the fic :cow: :bow:
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Offline Seigus

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Re: It’s the only place where I need to be. [Mayuki][OS]
« Reply #15 on: March 08, 2013, 03:53:20 AM »
In uncertain times like this, MaYuki fans need a story like this to reassure us. Thank you very much for this one-shot :) I share the same thoughts as you regarding Mayuyu's feelings towards Yukirin's "scandal". I truly hope that they will solve any issues they have soon (if something really happened) and return to being the pair of happy and silly buddies. Mayuyu's birthday is this month so Yukirin had better do something to get her cyborg back!

Offline Llyloo

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Show must go on [OS]
« Reply #16 on: March 17, 2013, 12:40:39 PM »
I miss Mayuki, @_@.

So... I know it's a while since my last post, I'm in a light hiatus now I think since I'm at the end of my internship and I have my report to do, so for the season two of 48days, I'm sorry to say that you should still wait a little m( _._ )m Sorry.

Buuuut, I have a OS that I wrote some week ago. Maybe it's a weird OS, xD I don't really know. But I have some thing to say before you read it. First. I didn't name the characters. Because I want to let you decide who you thinks they are and... I don't really think that name them is really important. Even if when I wrote it I had in my mind two people (if you want later I could say you it XD.). Second. I'm a great fan of BR, ok ? XD. And... I though about that fic because of one question of kurosawa87 about protagonist and antagonist, I don't really know if finally it's about that xD but it's because of this that I imagined that fic xD.

Show Must Go On.

I don’t know how all of that happened. I don’t know how and when the entertainment world became like this. The change was so slow that we notice nothing. But the result is here. We are all here. No. Not all. More than the half of the group 48 has already died.  Yes. Died. They come to us the day before. With a new project of TV show they said. Nobody noticed. It was just another show like we use to do. A show with all the members of all the groups. Seem a pretty good idea on the paper.  But we didn’t see the paper. Like always, all of that was organized by the staff. We’re just here to assume their choice finally. Never could I imagine that their choice lead us in such situation. You want to know where we are? What was all of this shit? Ah... Ah... Seriously. If only I can answer to you. Even I don’t have any answer. I just know that I’m here. That I have more than enough blood on my hands. On my face. On my memory. They call that show the “Last Election”. Such an ironic title. Since it’s more than a last Election for many of us; it’s just the last day of our life. The goal? Easy. Only one survivor. Only one to take the place of center. Crazy guys. When you’re alone in a group, there isn’t the place of center anymore.  But finally, we didn’t have the choice. Some of us started to kill. I don’t know who. I don’t even remember when I started to. I just know that I survived to the first phase. Another girl falls next to me. And another. I try not see their face. It’s selfish but I don’t want to know who I’d killed. I already killed too many of my friends. Yes, I know. Maybe you thinking “How could you kill people that you love?” It’s the reasons. That and plus my selfish need to survive when my life is threatened. I just have enough love and enough selfishness to kill them and assume my responsibilities. In the end, it should have been the people who do it.


I look around me. Dead bodies everywhere.  A pretty horrible spectacle for an idol show. Like a battlefield. I always knew that AKB is like a battlefield where just some of us could reach their dreams. But I never imagined, and even wanted, that it becomes true one day.  I wasn’t lonely. One other stands up between that whole of corpse. She looks at me. I look at her. I never felt to look at someone at that moment. We were just girls with blood, with disgust, with that feeling to be a monster. We are monsters.  Without a word we walked to the corner of the room; a place where there aren’t many bodies. After a few minutes. Or hours. I just lost notion of time in that hell. She speaks.

“Do you remember what you said to me at the start of this game?”

I raise my eyes on hers. I was next to her when we woke up in that room. When we learned about the rules of that game. When we started to see our teammates panicked. They cried. They screamed. They wanted to believe that it was just a joke. They killed. Killed others, and for some of them, themselves.

“Yeah, of course. I told you that people who kill themselves don’t do it because they don’t want to kill someone but because they don’t want to know who will kill them.”

The silence. Again. I’m still pretty confident with what I said. And I know why. I see it. The feeling to be betrayed when someone that you call “my friend” just kills you to save his life. But you like him. You know that if he wasn’t doing that, you would have done it in his place.

“I think I understand know. I prefer to kill myself than to see you kill me.”

“I prefer the contrary,” I just answered, looking  at her.


“Because I’m selfish,” I said, shrugging. She looks at me. No, she’s trying to read my mind. Ah... Try. It’s not like I even don’t really understand what I do. Why I do it. And who I am. I always thought that situation like that reveals the true nature of people. I never imagined that one day I’ll be facing my own nature.

“I don’t understand. In any case you’ll be dead, isn’t it?”

“It’s just a way for be sure that you’ll be forever in your opponent’s mind. Nothing else allows that as much than murder.“

“What’s the matter for the murderer? Look around us. We already killed too many people; even some of our friends. If I kill you, you’ll just be another name in my list of victim. “

“Yeah. It’s true. But it’s better to be on your mind than nowhere. I’ll still exist somewhere.”

I just answered. Exist somewhere. Such a human’s feeling. That need to exist. That need to not only be a body in a grave. That need to not only be a name in a list. I know it could seem cruel to impose myself on the conscience of someone, but it’s better than nothing. And I just really don’t want to be nothing. I don’t do all of that to be nothing. It’s just too unfair. I continue to speak after a few seconds.

“Just think about all that girls who died and that we have already forgotten because their assassin was killed too. “

“I prefer to live my life by myself than in my murderer’s mind. “

I let out a small laugh. Yes, of course. I'm not cruel enough to prefer parasitize than live my life. Even if I don’t expect nothing of the life that we are offered to the survivor.  Sometimes I really wonder why I’m not more naïve; maybe all of that could be easier without all of this toughness in my mind. I finally answer:

“Like me. It’s the reason that we are still alive.”

“What’s the price…”
she said with a sigh.

”How many lives do you estimate your own life?“ I asked.

“We’re human. It’s natural for us to put our life above all others.”

“It’s easy to reject our own fault on our nature of “Human”, no?”

“You seem to take that entire story quite easily. Don’t you feel regret? “

I fixed my eyes at her. In her eyes. I really seem to take it that easily? If only.  Right now I just want to be a robot or a guy in a movie. Things like that always seem to be easy in a movie. Maybe because people don’t really die. Surely because they don’t really die. If only the other girl could just stand up and say “A-AH IT WAS A JOKE!“ But I know it will never happen. It’s just the true, fucking real life. I sigh.

“It’s not that I don’t feel regret. I just accepted the ideas than if it wasn’t me here, another person will speak to you about the same topic. So I’m glad to be alive.”

“I’m not sure I’m glad. I don’t know if I can live with all of this in my mind.”

“Who knows? We can’t know that until the game finish.”

“You’ll kill me?”

Finally. The question was asked. I just looked at her. Stupid question.  But normal. Since when I did find it normal when a girl asked me if I’ll kill her? Really. It seems pretty unrealistic. It’s just a few hours and… I feel like I’m used to having blood on my hand. I’m used to speaking about death. To speak about murder. To live with horrific faces on my mind. The faces that human have when they’re about to die. I finally look again at her with a sad smile.

“And you. You’ll not do it?”

“I don’t want,” she said slowly.

“Neither do I. I wanted nothing of that. I wanted to live like before forever.”

It was her turn to let out a little laugh. If our laugh wasn’t that sad and desperate, I would feel pretty bad to laugh at a moment like that.

“Do you realized that the past you speak of was just yesterday?”

“And you; do you realize that all of the days after today will never be the same than before?”

A silence. A long silence. We’re both thinking about that. Yes. Life will never be the same. We were just innocent girls. Now we’re both murderer. Just because we want to live, we became monstrous. It’s seemed unfair, no? We are in a civilized country, a civilized world. But humans always needed that monstrous spectacle. Humans always loved to see others suffer. It’s just that themore years passed by, the more the show became cruel. We just came back in the gladiator’s period. Yes. We’re now warrior who fights for their life. She finally broke the silence between us:

“Do you really think that it’s the best moment for such a philosophic conversation?”

“We’ll never have a chance like that afterward. Because we are the only ones still alive in that world who are able to understand each other. And the survivor will only be forever alone with all this memories.”

“Are you ready to assume that solitude?”

“We are idols. We are always alone. No matter how many members we have in our groups or how many people work with us or even how many fans we have; we are still alone.”

Suddenly, she seems to be mad. She stands up and grabs me by the collar. If I tried, I could even count the number of blood prints in her face. Fourteen for be exact. I know what she reacted to. Idols. Yesterday we all know what that word mean. But now. Now that us, idols, are here to kill. That word still means the same thing? I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m still an idol. I don’t know what and who I am anymore in reality.

“And so what if you survive? You’ll just leave that fucking place with an idol smile and say that you’ll do your best like it was just another stage or tv show?”

“You seem to think that I don’t care about all of this.”

“It’s not the case? You speak like it’s just a game.”

I grab her hands and force her to release her grip. Maybe I put a little too much strength in my gestures because she seems to suffer. I don’t care. I just stared directly at her eyes and say :

“It’s a game. It’s a cruel game. Where we killed too many people in only one day. It’s a game. Where the winner will feel like a monster all of her fucking life. It’s a game, where the rule to win isn’t “Are you able to kill someone that you love?” but “Are you able to survive to your own monstrosity?“ ”

“And you can?”

I sigh. How? How can she imagine that someone could leave with that. Yeah. When I’m thinking about that, there in the world are some people who do monstrosity and can live without problem. But we aren’t that type of people. I think. We’re just not one the good place at the good moment.  It’s not like we can escape of that.

“No. Like you. But I haven’t got the choice.”

“We have the choice. We can die now.”

“Don’t be blind. If that was the case, you’ll already do it and I too.”

“It’s not only our life now, isn’t it?”

She just sits down. Grabbing her head in her hands. I sit down next to her, without a word. I rubbed my cheek for a couple seconds and checked around us the bodies of our teamates before finally answering her:

“Yes. We have on our shoulder the life of all this girl that we killed. We just can’t die now without fight whereas one of them could have won this game if we didn’t kill her. “

“The responsibility of the survivor.”


We can’t give up the fight now. Not after all we did. Not after take as many lives. We have to fight until the end in the memory of them; for that blood that we have on our face. All of that makes me really sick. But I can’t show it. I never was the type of girl who shows her weakness.  The other girl speaks again like she has lump in her throat:

“People will hate us. Family. Friend. And all the people who will know about it. They will all hate us.”

“They’ll never can hate us as much as we hate ourselves.”

“It’s not really comforting like ideas.”

“I know.”

Silence again. Longer than before. During those long minutes. Or even hour.  We don’t have something to say. I know that both of us still have something to say. Something on the heart or in mind. But now, it’s not the moment anymore. It’s just that instant before the end. When you know that all is already decided and you just have to wait for it.

“Can I ask you a favor?”


“I want us to do it properly.”

“Yes. Show must go on. Until the end.”


I stand up quickly. She does it too. I don’t know how that story will finish. I don’t who will survive. Or even if one of us will survive. I just know that we will fight until the end. If they want a show, we will give it to them. Because we’re idols. But it’s not for them that we fight. It’s for those we killed. Because, at least we’re human.

Offline Yuki88

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Re: Show must go on [OS]
« Reply #17 on: March 17, 2013, 06:31:18 PM »
I like Battle Royale! And this is.... amazing. I have no words I can say.

The pairing? Feels like MaYuki. :3
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Offline kuro808

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Re: Show must go on [OS]
« Reply #18 on: March 17, 2013, 06:35:57 PM »
well it wasn't too much of a challenge per say more of the writers and readers thinking :nervous

I like how it is setup although the final phase might be a total blood bath

Also, I like BR too :nervous
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Offline FNK23

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Re: Show must go on [OS]
« Reply #19 on: March 17, 2013, 06:51:45 PM »
i like your mayuki fic, it's just, somehow, warms my heart.
i really wish they can be together again, and hopes yukirin didn't graduate in the near future.

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