Embarrassment (RenAiri) - COMPLETED

[noomuumuu]

I posted this earlier this year on my tumblr, but the fanfiction tag tended to get buried on my blog and it was difficult to find.  So for convenience I decided to post it all here together.. 

Part 1:
Late winter, 2010

“Hey, hey, Rena, have you met the new KII members?  I’ve heard that one of them likes you… like, a lot.” Nakanishi Yuka yelled after Matsui Rena in the corridor, backstage at Sunshine Sakae.

Rena turned around, giving Nakanishi a puzzled glance.  ”but… how does she know me?” Rena asked.

Nakanishi shrugged.  ”I don’t know, AKB’s singles or something?  But it looks like you have another one to add to your ever-growing harem,” she teased.

Rena’s eyebrows wrinkled.  ”It’s not like that!  I… I don’t even know why it happens.”

Nakanishi grinned, and elbowed Rena in the side.  ”Yeah, yeah…  Anyway, things will be interesting from now on, don’t you think?  Now that we have kouhai things are going to be different.  I wonder if they’re all fresh and young, like all the new ones going into AKB…”

… That was the start of it all, Rena recalled.  It was certainly a time of upheaval, with AKB’s popularity suddenly shooting off the charts and SKE newly-formed, things were uncertain and stressful.  Then again, when were things ever peaceful in this franchise?  It seemed to her like Akimoto-sensei schemed 24/7 to make their lives dramatically engaging to the fans and extremely stressful for the members themselves.

---------------------------------------------------------------

mid-summer, 2010

The first time that they met was on an ordinary day at Sunshine Sakae.  The new KKS were having lessons, and Rena had been sent down to the theater for an op/ed piece about the development of SKE.  After the interview, as Rena passed by the dance studio, she heard chattering voices and recognised one of them to be that of Nee-san (Satou Mieko).

“Ah, I wonder if they’ve finished?  Maybe I’ll stop by to have a look.” she muttered to herself as she pulled the door open.

“Ojamashima-su” she said quietly, observing the group gathered around the water dispensers.

“Ah!  Rena!” Yukko called out, waving her over to the discreet corner where she and Goma were standing.

“Yukko! What are you doing here?” Rena asked, puzzled.

“Oh, I had to come here for a photo-shoot too so I decided to drop by and say hi, you know,” Yukko replied vaguely.

“Oh.  Right.” Rena replied, her eyes moving down to where Yukko’s arm was linked tightly with Goma’s.  ”Yeah.  I think I know what you mean.”

“Anyway, KII’s been practicing Te wo Tsunaginagara! It’s really fun!” Yukko changed the subject quickly.

“Oh really?  That’s great!  Are you guys having fun?” Rena inquired.

“Yup.  It’s disappointing that we don’t have a stage of our own yet, but Akimoto-sensei says that he’s too busy to write one for us,” Goma replied with a disappointed tone.

“Oh, I can understand that,” Rena replied, wondering how the famously busy Akimoto-sensei had enough time on his hands to dream up a janken single but not enough to write a stage, forcing KII to do two revivals in a row.

Through their short conversation, Rena noticed Goma’s eyes darting out behind her, seemingly looking at someone.

She half-turned around, noticing another KII member, whom she remembered being introduced to before in the group introductions as Furukawa Airi (Airin), standing behind her, looking awkward and blushing.

“uh- um.  I’m very sorry for disturbing your conversation.  If Rena-san is not too busy, I mean, if Rena-san is busy it’s fine and I’m totally sorry for disturbing and please don’t mind me and continue what you’re doing, but I mean, if, um, Rena-san is free, could you please do me the kind favour of um, ta-taking a photograph with me? I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!  I know it’s troublesome and you’re busy-“

“Oh sure, I’m not busy right now.  I’d be happy to.” Rena cut her off, smiling.

The smile that lit up Airin’s face at that moment seemed to glow like the Fukushima nuclear plant, and Ogiso and Yukko took that as their cue to leave the two alone.

"Oh!  Thank you!  Rena-san is so kind!” She grabbed her camera, and stood next to Rena, snapping a quick shot.

“Is that okay?  Would Rena-san like to check it?” Airin inquired.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s good because it’s with Furukawa-san.” Rena smiled at Airin, who blushed and looked away, embarrassed.

“However, could I trouble Furukawa-san to take a photo with me too?” Rena reciprocated.

“Huh.  Oh. Uh. Okay!” Airin’s faced traversed the road from shock to disbelief to incredulity.  ”If… If Rena-san wants to..”

Rena stared at Airin.  ”Oh.  Maybe it’s her,” she thought, recalling Nakanishi’s words.  ”But… this… is too cute.”

Later that night, scrolling through the numerous SKE members’ blog lists, she clicked on the Furukawa blog for the first time.  Reading the entry there, a shy, amused smile came across her face.  ”Oh, that’s cute!  She’s like a small furry animal! I’ll write a reply.”

A couple of weeks later, they were properly introduced on KZ station’s radio talkshow.  As Nakanishi and Hiramatsu Kanako were there, too, and she had to rush off for a job after the recording, they had little time to talk to each other.  However, images of Airin’s profile stuck in her mind.  The way Airin confidently recorded the radio show, the way she led discussions and played off the crazy of Kanakana and the intellectual nature of Nakanishi, created a deep impression on her.

“They seem to have lots of fun,” she mused.  ”Perhaps I should watch the radio show on the internet, too.”

---------------------------------------------------------

Late summer, 2010, on the 1, 2, 3, 4! Yoroshiku! recording set

“I… uh… Yoroshiku Onegaiitashimasu!” Airin bowed, 90-degrees, straight back, eyes fixed firmly on the floor.

Rena looked around her, and realised that they were the only two people in the room that she’d entered.

“Uh, good morning…” she mumbled in reply, shocked out of her morning stupor.

“Has anyone else-” Airin’s question was interrupted by Rena’s coughing fit.

“Uh, are you okay?” Airin asked, as Rena sat down.

“Yup I’m okay, just a bit of a cold.” Rena wheezed softly, trying to catch her breath.  Airin filled a glass from the water dispenser and walked over.

“Here, have some water,” she pushed it across the table, eyes on the floor again.

“Airin thank you!” Rena smiled brightly.

“Uh, it’s fine.” Airin looked up, blushing.

The moment was interrupted when the door flew open, revealing a growling Kuwabara Mizuki hauling Kato Rumi in by the scruff of the neck. “Kouhai oranges should not call other people tuna!”

Rena did not get the chance to talk to Airin for the rest of the day.  However, she found a plastic bag from the nearby convenience store next to her bag in her locker.  In it was three different types of lozenges, cold medication and an energy drink with an unsigned note which instructed her to rest more.

Rena smiled, clutching the bag to her chest.  Her day was suddenly looking up.

------------------------------------------------------------

Autumn, 2010

As the leaves acquired myriad shades of colours and the weather turned colder, Rena got more busy.  Having ranked among the undergirls for AKB in the year’s elections, having to cope with her increased visibility, SKE stage shows and traveling to and from Tokyo proved challenging.  While she had Jurina with her for company through these events, Jurina was less someone whom she could lean on and more someone whom she viewed as a younger sister whom she had the responsibility to take care of.

Meanwhile, a certain Furukawa Airi was sitting at home under the kotatsu, playing on her PS3.  ”I’m booooooooooooooooooooooored!” she complained, while stretching.

“Hey, why don’t you go get me groceries instead of being your usual shut-in-self?  Honestly, you have a job now but it’s like you’re still a kid.” her mom grumbled.

“Okay, okay…  Just give me what we need and I’ll do it.” Airin replied, while getting up and pulling on her scarf and coat.  ”Brrrrrrrrr! It’s cold!” she rubbed her hands together, and took the scrap of paper from her mom.

“Ittekima-su!” she called from the door.

“—Itterasshai!”

—————————————————————————————-

Walking along the streets of Aichi during autumn was always a special experience.  Airin had grown up in the area, and everything, while familiar, tended to acquire different hues during different parts of the year.  There was no denying that she would’ve moved to Tokyo had she not narrowly missed out on the Morning Musume auditions back when she was 15, but now, she was glad to have stayed.

In a twist of fate, she’d joined SKE, stayed in Nagoya, and met Rena-san.  Airin smiled to herself.  ”Rena-san is really cute, but she works too hard and often doesn’t take proper care of herself…” Airin reflected.  ”Ah!  I’m smiling to myself again!  This is terrible! They’ll say that I’m disgusting again!” she slapped herself gently on her cheeks. “Snap out of it, Furukawa.” she muttered, ignoring the stares of the people passing her.

After doing her grocery run, Airin switched her iPod playlist on, humming along to Only my Railgun as it came up on her anisong playlist.

She was so distracted walking by the train station that she didn’t notice the girl just stepping out at the moment, bumping into her. “Ah! I’m sorry!”

“Sorry!!” she apologised too, bowing and stopping to pick up a bag full of melonpan, unplugging her headphones in the process as Only my Railgun started to blast from her ipod. “Oh- oh! Sorry!” she handed the bag over, reaching into her pocket to turn it off.

“…Airin?” she stopped, looking at the girl.

“Rena-san?” disbelief flitted across her face.

“I’m SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY!!” she bowed again, blushing to the roots of her hair, down to her ears.

“It’s okay!” Rena replied.

“I’m really- are you crying?” Airin looked horrified.

“I’m so sorry!  It’s all my fault!  I’m sorry!” she repeatedly bowed, starting to panic.

“N-no, it’s not Airin’s fault, I’m sorry, it’s been a bad day…” Rena reassured Airin, holding her bag of melonpan to her chest as if it was a priceless treasure.

“Uh… Rena-san, are you free now?” Airin looked concerned.

“Ye-ah..” Rena looked confused.

“Would you like to come over and have dinner?  My mom’s cooking hot pot tonight.” Airin looked nervous, but determined.

“I - if I’m not putting you out…” Rena wiped her tears away discreetly.

“Ah!  Then let’s go!” Airin said cheerfully, taking the bag of melonpan from Rena.  ”I’ll return this to you later, I promise.” she smiled.

—————————————————————————
At the Furukawa home, Airin invited Rena in and handed her a pair of fluffy rabbit-shaped house slippers.

“Sorry, this is all we have…  I don’t think you’ll fit either Dad or my brother’s size, and my mom’s wearing her only pair.”

“It’s alright,” Rena smiled, feeling better already as she pulled on the warm slippers.

At that moment, Airin’s mom appeared.  ”AIRI! WHAT TOOK YOU SO- Oh look, we have a visitor!  I’m so sorry for yelling, I didn’t know.”

“Mom, this is my senpai from SKE, Matsui Rena-san, Rena-san, please meet my mom.  Mom, can we have Rena-san over for dinner tonight?  You said we were doing nabe so I figured it wouldn’t be any trouble.” Airin inquired, guiding them into the living room.

“Oh- yes, sure.  Where are the groceries?” Mama-rin looked around.

“They’re by the door,” Airin called, motioning to Rena to follow her to her room.

“I’m so sorry to disturb!” Rena bowed to Mama-rin, following with haste.

——————————————————————————

“Sorry about that,” Airin said, clearing a stack of manga to make room for Rena to sit.

“Oh, no.  It’s alright.  Thank you for having me over,” Rena said, looking around.

“Uh…” Airin’s eyes shot first to her Ranka dakimakura, prominently lying on her bed, and then to the enormous pile of soft-toy frogs sitting in the corner.  In the moment, she froze with panic, not knowing which to try to block with her body.

“-Oh. Uh, does Airin like Anime and frogs?” Rena smiled, almost amused at Airin’s reaction.

“U..uh. Yes.” Airin slumped down on the floor, wearing a defeated expression.

“You must think I’m weird.” Airin commented, blushing.

“…  just a little bit.” Rena looked seriously at Airin.

Airin sighed, staring at the floor of her room.  ”Yeah, who wouldn’t?  They already call me ‘hentai’ all over the internet because of my interests…”

“… I’m also an anime otaku, you know,” Rena chuckled.

“Eh?!?!” Airin’s eyebrows shot up, and she sat up, banging her head against the manga shelf behind her.  It tipped, causing a mini-avalanche of Shonen Jump.

“Owwww….” Airin rubbed her forehead, groaning.

“ar-are you okay?” Rena asked, torn between genuine concern and amusement.

“ye-ah…” Airin replied, sitting up.  ”What does Rena-san like?”

“Oh, mainly stuff that my elder brother likes, you know, Jump stuff and Gundam, mainly.” Rena said, her eyes trailing to the pile of Shonen Jump surrounding them.

“Feel free to have a read, I’ve got tonnes, and my brother’s got issues backdated to 1995!” Airin picked them up, stacking them in order again.

“I- thank you, Airin.” Rena smiled at her.

“It’s nothing, Rena-san.  You can always come over whenever you want, you know.” Airin offered warmly.

“Thank you,” Rena’s eyes filled with tears again, as she looked down, then away.

“O-oh!  Uh, I- I’m sorry!  Please don’t cry!  I- would you like some tissue?” Airin grabbed the tissue, then moved to pat Rena on the back, awkwardly giving up and instead handing her the box.

Instead of grabbing the box handed to her, Rena hugged Airin.

“I’m sorry, it’s not you.  It’s just, I feel like I’ve been doing everything wrong lately… Everyone’s disappointed in me and I don’t think I’m good enough…” Rena explained.

“Uh-uh, Rena-san…” Airin stammered, her face completely red as she awkwardly held Rena.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t be laying this on you, since it’s my own problem..”

“Wa-wait, what’s wrong, Airin?” Rena tucked a lock of Airin’s fringe behind her ear as Airin’s eyes filled with tears.

“I-I just really like Rena-san, and I’m so happy that you can talk to me about your problems…” Airin explained, fanning at her eyes to try to stop tearing.

“It’s SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE!!” Rena exclaimed, starting to laugh.

“Mou, Rena-san…” Airin covered her face, blushing even harder.

Through her fingers, as Rena laughed on the floor and squealed “Kawaii”, Airin said seriously, “But really, Rena-san is good just as she is.  We like Rena-san just because she tries her best, and that’s when she’s at her most beautiful, inside and out.  Rena-san doesn’t need to try to be something that she isn’t, and no one should tell Rena-san anything different.”

“Knock-knock! It’s dinner time!” Mama-rin called through the door.

“-ah! coming!” Airin replied, motioning Rena to the bathroom to wash up.

——————————————————————————-

After dinner, as Airin insisted on walking Rena back home, saying that it was “Furukawa house rules”, and Rena suggested that they exchange email addresses.

“Uh- if-if it’s okay with you…” Airin looked away shyly, handing her phone over.

“There!  Now, if Airin has any problems, too, please mail me!” Rena winked, passing back the phone.

“Yes! Please take care, Rena-san!  Come over again whenever!” Airin smiled widely, waving as she headed in the opposite direction.

As they both walked away, smiling, Rena half-turned to look at Airin’s retreating figure, however, she held back from calling out, deciding to email her instead.  As she turned back, heading up the stairs to her flat, Airin turned to look at Rena, smiling to herself.  ”I’m just glad that she’s okay now.”
As Airin walked home, her phone trilled, signaling a new incoming mail.

“From:  melonpan.ichiban.suki@yahoo.jp
Airi~n!
Thank you for everything.  I am so glad that I bumped into you.  Airin is such a kind person, that’s why she took care of me.  Also, Airin’s mom is such a good cook!  I might prefer to eat at Airin’s instead of having melon-pan for dinner from now on!  Thank you Airin.  I really really like Airin! (heart smiley) Have a good night, and see you again soon!
—Rena”

It was probably a good thing that there wasn’t anyone around as Airin made the famous OTZ shape on the pavement..

“See you again soon, Rena-san.”

[noomuumuu]

Part 2:

————————————————————————-
Late Autumn, 2010

While there were many things in Furukawa Airi’s life, not least her hard-earned job at SKE and her passion for anime and seiyuu, she found herself preoccupied with intermittent messages that she would receive from a certain individual.  A single mail, just two or three sentences long, was sufficient to make the sun shine brighter and her day more interesting.

“You know, you’ve got it bad,” Nakanishi Yuka commented once after a recording of Happy Hori.

“…I can’t help that Rena-san is so cute! It’s totally illegal!  I mean, look at this picture that she sent to me last night of herself in her pajamas.  It’s just.so.cute!” Airin whipped out her phone, frantically scrolling to the relevant photograph.

“Yeah, it’s cute but… didn’t the mail read something like, ‘2am so I have to go to bed’ or something like that?  Why have you been mailing her so late at night anyway?” Nakanishi glared at Airin.  ”You do know that she has to get up earlier than all of us.”

“I mailed her at 4pm, it seems that she didn’t have time to reply till then…  Of course I worry about her!” said Airin defensively.

“Anyway, which should I use for my phone’s screen saver now?  This one, or this one…?” Airin inquired, flipping between a photo of Rena in an all-white dress, smiling with a melonpan in hand, and the photo of Rena in her pajamas.

Nakanishi rolled her eyes.  ”Whichever,” she sighed dismissively, “just stop asking me if the phrasing of the mail that you want to send is too impolite or intrusive or whatever…”

“—but! She’s like, a sempai!” Airin looked horrified.

“… you know Airin, so am I.” Nakanishi glared.

“Oops.”

——————————————————————————

“Rena-san,
Good morning, I hope that I am not disturbing you?  Thank you for the photo last night.  I’m looking forward to you coming to record Happy Hori with us again this week!  We really haven’t met up in a long time, and I hope that Rena-san is well?  Please take care of yourself.
Airin”

“Airin,
I’ve said before that “Rena” is fine!  Mou, you sound like my mother… but Airin is cute too when she worries about me, hehe.  Oh that’s right!  Happy Hori is this week, isn’t it?  I can’t wait for it!  I want to see Airin soooooooooooooon. <3
Rena”

“Rena-san,
Good day.  Sorry we didn’t get to talk much after the recording because I had to rush off for the team KII evening stage…  But I had fun!  It was good seeing Rena-san again, I hope that we will be able to meet up at the handshake event coming up!  Please take care, and thank you for coming again!
Airin
P.S. I LOOOOOOOOOOVE GEKIKARA”

“Airiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Good evening!  Sorry I teased you during the recording, it’s just - Airin is too cute!! <3 The Airin that blushes so easily when I say that I like her, and gets teary-eyed when I hug her is SO ADORABLE.  I love you Airin! <3 You’re so cute!  Okkotteru?
Rena”

“Rena-san,
I read your blog today where you talked about the melonpan that Kanako-san posted pictures of in her blog.  As I was in the area doing recording work, I bought lots of them and dropped them off at your house with your mom.  Please don’t overwork yourself!
Airin”

“Airin,
THAAAAAAAAAAANK YOOOOOOOOU.  The melonpan was delicious!  My brother came home before me, though, and ate half of it. I rationed the rest out for the week.  Next time, let’s go buy more together, okay?  Thank you again!  Airin is too kind. <3
Rena”

The messages grew increasingly friendly, and as Airin and Rena constantly played mail tag, the people around them noticed their increased attachment to their phones.

“Hey Airin, what’s with that perverted smile again?  Is it Rena-san?” Ishida Anna would tease endlessly.

Even Churi would join in, whispering “Airin, you’re smiling to yourself again…” as she flipped her phone shut in between events.

As Rena was slightly less approachable, her tormenters were limited to Kanakana and Nakanishi, who constantly fed her tidbits about things that Airin did or said on Happy Hori.

“…and she said that she was too embarrassed to tell you…” Nakanishi finished, noting the dreamy look in Rena’s eyes and embarrassed smile as they stood opposite each other backstage at Sunshine Sakae.

“I don’t get it, why are you two so awkward around each other?” Kanakana inquired with a puzzled tone.  ”I mean, you two are so close, and you talk about everything don’t you?”

“…I… it’s embarrassing,” Rena blushed.

“What’s embarrassing?  You’re good friends, and you talk about everything when either Nakanishi or I, or the KII girls are around with you…  but you can’t be alone together?  What’s with that?” Kanako finished her stretching routine, and walked over to Rena.

“…I’m not sure either, it’s… it’s just… I like Airin and Airin likes me, so when we’re together alone and can’t focus on anyone else… It kinda feels a bit overwhelming…” Rena averted her eyes.

“Ah.  It’s love isn’t it,” Nakanishi joked.

“No, it’s not!  It’s just awkward so stop it!” Kanakana rebutted, as they walked off, laughing.

 ————————————————————————

As time wore on and autumn turned into winter, Rena grew to depend on Airin’s kindness and reliable presence.  Rena did not mind the fact that she had few real friends despite being constantly surrounded by people.  However, Airin’s friendship was unusual in that Rena did not find Airin intrusive. In fact, as she observed, Airin seemed to be friendly with everyone, thoughtful, kind and unassuming in the extreme.  While this was a source of reassurance that she wasn’t being exploited, it was also, unexpectedly a source of insecurity for Rena.  This finally came to a head one day after a handshake event.

“Airiiiiiiiiin-saaaaaan” Imade Mai whined as she clung to Airin’s arm.

“Yes, yes…  Imade-san?”

“I asked if you thought that I’m cute.” Imade pouted, moving closer.

“Mmmm, yes.  Didn’t I say so already?” Airin smiled, patting Imade on the head.

“Can I get a kiss?” Imade moved in closer into Airin’s personal space, blinking her wide eyes slowly.

“Uh. Ehhhhh….” Airin started stuttering as Rena, watching, cleared her throat and took the shortest possible distance to cross the space between them.

“Sorry Imade-chan, Airin is mine, aren’t you, Airin?” She smiled gently, linking her arm through Airin’s and pulling her away down the corridor.

“Ano – Uh, Rena-san, where are you taking me?” Airin asked, confused.

When they finally stopped at an isolated stairwell, Rena dropped Airin’s arm, stepping towards the window and avoiding Airin’s eyes.

“Hey, Rena-san… Why-”

“Airin, are you this friendly to everyone?” Rena inquired in a hurt tone.

“Wh-what do you mean, Rena-san?” Airin looked puzzled.

“It’s like, with Imade-chan, and MatsuRina-san, and of course, Churi-san.  You seem to like all of them a lot…” Rena continued.

As the wheels turned in Airin’s head, it all clicked in a moment.

“Uh- Rena-san, are you je-jealous…?” Airin asked softly.

“I- I-.. It’s just that Airin’s always so gentle and kind towards me, and I was wondering if it’s because she’s just nice to everyone.” Rena replied, with a torn look on her face, looking more alone than ever.

Airin moved over to join Rena at the window, and gazed out of it, taking Rena’s hand between her’s.  “Your hands are freezing.  Look, it’s snowing outside.”

“Is it the first snow of the year?” Rena asked in a shaky voice.

“Yeah, it is.  Look, isn’t it pretty?” Airin folded Rena’s hands into hers, and stuck them in her coat pockets.

“Ano- Rena-san, I’m sorry.  I don’t really think about the things that I do, or how it looks to other people.  I should care more about what others think, but honestly… I just… I like Rena-san.” She said, blushing down to her neck.

“I-”

“No, please let me finish because it’s… kinda difficult to say,” Airin continued, gazing out of the window.

“I really like Rena-san and to me, Rena-san is a special presence.  One that cannot be replaced.  I’ll be more careful in the future.  Imade-san is… Imade-san, you know, she flirts with everyone.  MatsuRina and I get along, but we’re team mates who just have compatible personalities.  Churi is someone whom everyone depends on in team KII, and I try to support her because she tends to take on too much.” Airin explained each point clearly, rubbing her warm fingers over Rena’s freezing hands.

The silence wore on as both of them stood in angled shadows of the fading sun, watching the snow fall.  It was comfortable, with murmurs from people walking down the corridor outside reassuringly cocooning them, creating a temporary sanctuary.

“Mmm.  Th-thank you, Airin.” Rena said finally, breaking the quiet.

 “What for?” Airin asked, puzzled.

“For explaining.  We don’t do much of that, do we?” Rena winked.

Airin blushed, then tilted her head in the direction of the corridor.

“Shall we head back?” she took Rena’s hand in hers, and led her towards the exit.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Around New Year’s, 2011

Rena’s cute voice cut through the chilly air.  “You have a mail! It might be from me!” as Airin groaned, sticking a hand out from under the covers to grab her phone from her bedside table.

“Airin,
Akemashite Omedetougozaimasu-! Sorry if I woke you, I wasn’t sure if I would have time to mail you later and I wanted make sure that you were the first person whom I sent wishes to this year.  Thank you for everything last year, and please take care of me again this year!  My new year’s resolution is to be more positive, like Airin!  I have a suggestion if Airin is thinking of resolutions too…  Please call me “Rena” instead of “Rena-san!” you make me feel oddly distant!  Happy new year again Airin!  I love you! <3
Rena”

As Airin grinned to herself, pulling the covers back, she resolved to at least make an effort… even though she thought that Rena’s request was impossible for her to achieve.

“Yossha, let’s go record for Happy Hori!”

------------------------------------------------------------

February, 2011

When Airin spoke of her (well, Rena’s) New Year’s resolution a month ago on the radio show, not even in her famed imagination could she predict that she would get stonewalled into this situation.  Sitting beside her in the Happy Hori recording studio, also blushing, also embarrassed out of her mind and on the verge of panic, was Matsui Rena.

“KZ station!  Oshaberi yattemasu——“

As the producers, cameraman, Kanakana and Nakanishi giggled at them, Airin decided that although it wasn’t as embarrassing as having that tape of her as a 15-year-old otaku girl in love with her classmate leaked to Rena by the likes of Akisun and Haachan… It came pretty close.

At the very least, Rena seemed almost as embarrassed.  After the recording, when the four of them headed out for a snack, Rena was strangely quiet, choosing instead to link her arm through Airin’s and lean on her as Airin blushed and mumbled out replies to the teasing of the others.  While embarrassing, however, she felt at ease with Airin’s warmth and genuine smile.  As they walked through the snowy streets, Rena, quiet as usual, felt as if it was only the two of them and a gentle smile crossed her face.  She marveled at the quietude that Airin brought to her, if only for that moment, before she would have to leave for yet another photoshoot.

—————————————————————

A month later, upon learning that she was to share a hotel room with Airin, she felt strangely nervous despite the knowledge that Airin, being Airin, would be incredibly accomodating.  “Why is that?” she wondered, as she stepped into the elevator.  Sharing a room wasn’t unusual among SKE members, and having shared a room before with numerous other members, she couldn’t recall ever feeling this apprehensive or uncertain.
9 floors above and having waited for the last day and a half, was an equally-nervous Airin, pacing the room.  She was almost relieved the day before when she found out that Rena’s schedule had changed at the last minute, and she’d gone through the possiblity that she was getting set up by the staff members in her head…  But it seemed that they had done it by lottery and she’d just been THAT LUCKY. Or unlucky, depending on your perspective and valuation of mental health.  As such, being a bag of nerves, she’d been unable to even play her games, choosing instead to fidget as she waited.

As the door opened, Rena called out, “Airin Otsukaresama-” just as Airin called out, “Rena-san Okaerinasai!”

What followed was an awkward series of “tadaima” and “otsukaresama” and blushing.  Through the night, neither of them seemed to be able to relax, with their tip-toeing around each other, arguing about who should have the warm bath first, and being excessively polite.

“Airin should have the bath first, since she’s been waiting longer than me,” Rena suggested.

“No, no.  Rena-san should have the bath first, please go ahead.  When I bathe, I drop a lot of hair so it’s troublesome for the person after me.” Airin insisted.

As they recalled Nakanishi’s suggestion that they both take a bath together, they blushed.  No, that was never going to happen, they both shook their heads vigorously.  It was far too embarrassing.

As Airin exited the bathroom, having won the argument to have Rena try to sleep through the 4 hours that she would get to rest, she noticed that Rena had fallen asleep, mobile phone in hand, and her bag next to her on the bed.  With her hair fanned out against the pillow and her face without make up on, a peaceful expression on her face lit by the dim bed-side lamp, Rena looked unnaturally beautiful.  For a while, Airin stood, simply watching, overcome by her feelings.

“This is bad…” she mumbled to herself as she made her way across the room quietly, took Rena’s phone from her hand and placed it in her bag which she placed on the desk.  As she gently tucked Rena in, whispering “Oyasuminasai, Rena-san,” and tiptoed back to her own bed, Airin was awash with feelings of contentment.

The night was quiet, the only sound of ocassional honking outside the window, as Airin slipped into a deep, comfortable slumber.

“Oyasuminasai, Airi.” came a quiet whisper from across the room.

[noomuumuu]

Part 3:

Spring 2011

February and March flashed by for both Airin and Rena.  Through the constant, endless teasing from everyone, they had learned to ignore others’ judgments on their relationship.  While the momentary unease of being “just another member whom Airin is kind to” had passed for Rena, the topic of what exactly they were was something that they both danced around.  Airin had, as promised, given chocolates to Rena.  Again, as promised, they were store-bought.  The question that Kanakana had posed during Happy Hori remained unanswered.

Were these tomo-choco (friendly obligatory chocolates) or did they mean something more?

Rena couldn’t bring herself to ask and Airin was obviously not the type to be driven to confess.  As such, while their relationship remained undefined and fuzzy, both were happy to keep it that way.  The line between the constant flirting that SKE members did with with each other and real feelings was one that shouldn’t be crossed, after all.

However, this speck of uncomfortable truth grew with time into a huge elephant in the room, seated between them.  An elephant with pink hearts for ears.

Alone, late at night in her room, Rena sometimes pondered this.  ”Mou.  It’s not like I can talk to anyone about this.  There’s that unbreakable dating rule, anyway, so it would be fruitless even if I figured out what this is,” Rena reasoned.  ”I’m probably thinking too much.”

On the other side, Airin was a lot clearer about how she felt.  ”I like Rena-san.  But there’s no way that Rena-san likes me as much as I like her.  So I’ll just support her where I can, and wish her all the happiness in the world,” she once told Nakanishi over dinner.

Nakanishi simply looked at Airin, eyes sad but full of understanding.

Having fought this hard for an entertainment career, it was far too risky to involve themselves in anything deeper.  With 2D, they could freely proclaim their passions and feelings with limited external judgment.  To keep the lie of the perfect idol with perfectly socially acceptable and perfectly honorable intentions, it would be convenient to keep every personal interest within the realm of impossible fiction.

Rena’s “Airin is soooooooooooooooooooooo cute!” gradually became something that Airin got used to, and she learned to reply automatically with “Rena-san is too cute!!” walling in her feelings by habit.  It’s surprising how you can say what you mean, and by making habits, make the emotion behind them hurt yourself less.

Airin remained uncomfortable with Rena hugging her, but no longer cried from happiness and was finally able to stiffly hold her arm in reciprocation.  They still talked about everything except how they felt, preferring to play-act instead.

Meanwhile, Rena kept busy and was constantly distracted.  Airin’s constant, supportive presence anchored her emotionally, and she gladly accepted these quiet moments in between days that blurred between each other in shooting sessions, performances, lessons and recordings.

However, the inequality in this relationship soon became apparent, as Airin, hiding her feelings, and Rena, almost willfully ignorant, tried to keep the status quo.

“Airiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!” Rena glomped Airin, taking her by surprise during a break in recording.

“Re-rena-san!” Airin gasped, feeling her heart leap and her breathing quicken all at once.

“Ah, Airin’s reactions are so cute, as usual…” Rena teased, amused at Airin’s rapidly reddening face and obvious discomfort.

“Re-rena-san…” Airin repeated, haplessly trying to calm down and trying to hide her reactions with futility.  Embarrassed from the physical contact, Airin gently tried to push Rena away just as Churi waved to her.

“Ah! Airin, it’s time to go!” Churi beckoned, and Airin looked at Rena apologetically.

“Rena-san, sorry, we’re up.  I’ll talk to you in a bit?” she asked, looking almost relieved.

“Ah-yes, I’ll see you later, Airin.” Rena quietly replied to the back of Airin’s retreating figure.

What was this feeling of loneliness?  Rena wondered.  She’d never needed anyone before, the 2D in her life and the comfort of melonpan providing everything that she’d ever wanted in the past.  Airin was changing her, she realised.  She wasn’t sure that she liked this change.  Rena was never the type to cling to anyone, and she’d had few friends through school and now in her career.

However, cute, adorably embarrassed, constantly comforting, reliable Airin… Had subconsciously wormed her way in.  She hadn’t even realised how used she was to this.  Perhaps it was time to stop relying on Airin so much?  She wondered unhappily.  After all, Airin had to get tired of her constant mails, her needing reassurance and surprise hugs.  Come to think of it, hadn’t Airin’ become a bit distant lately?  Perhaps she had become a burden…
Rena reflected, uncomfortably coming to the conclusion that perhaps some distance would be good.  She could give Airin some space, and become less emotionally dependent.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Summer, 2011

It had been 3 weeks since she’d seen Airin last, and Rena had kept her promise to herself, limiting herself to a call a week and 2 messages a day to Airin.  She’d also tried her best to be a good friend to Airin, attempting to provide support.  Unfortunately, Airin had insisted that everything was okay, and that things were going well.

Even when the senbatsu group for Okey Dokey was announced, and Airin had been dropped from the selected group of members, Rena had felt powerless to help.  Standing in the corner with Manatsu, Rena had wanted to approach Airin but noticed her putting her arm around a sobbing Manatsu, pulling her close and stroking her back.

“It’s alright, Manatsu.  You’re not alone, I’m right here.  We’ll work hard together in Akagumi, okay?  You’ll be okay.” Rena overheard Airin repeating, feeling incredibly conflicted. 

She wanted to approach Airin, but was aware that as one of the centers of SKE, her comforting Airin could make things worse.  Airin would probably take comfort at face value, being such an uncomplicated and unjealous girl, however, in that moment, she seemed to be pushing aside her own disappointment to comfort someone else who needed it more. 

“Airin’s really an adult,” Rena reflected, imagining herself in the same situation and being crushed on a personal level but holding back tears to hold someone younger.  She didn’t think that she could do it.  It was at this point that Rena no longer saw Airin simply as “a cute girl”.
It was this thought  that stopped Rena from approaching Airin then.  It was also then that she realised how much everyone else also needed Airin’s sensibility, generosity and kindness - which she had pretty much been monopolising.

Rena turned away, headed towards Kanon instead to check on how she was doing.  Kanon, being like her younger sister, would be more used to her providing emotional support.  As they left, she looked back over her shoulder, noticing the trio of Churi, Manatsu and Airi holding each other.  A shot of jealousy passed through her heart when she realised that Airi would never have such an equally supportive relationship with her.

“Rena-san?  Shall we go?” Kanon looked at her, puzzled.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Rena turned, her head drooping as the door closed behind her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

August, 2011

It had been 4 weeks since she had last spoken to Rena.  Although Airin had organised something for Rena’s birthday, she’d noticed a dramatic change in attitude.  It had seemed as if Rena had tired of her and was now more interested in taking care of the younger members like Kanon and Yuria.

“Well, it had to happen sooner or later,” Airin shrugged, looking at Nakanishi helplessly one day over coffee.  ”It’s not like Rena-san has an obligation to be close with me, and I’m not particularly attractive.”

“Rena likes you, I can tell,” Nakanishi commented exasperatedly, blowing over her cup of coffee.

“Un, I know.  Just like any other other member,” Airin looked crushed.

“Maybe it’s just because she’s busy.  You know she’s been completely booked out ever since she ranked 10th in the AKB elections…” Nakanishi consoled Airin.

“Yeah, and we’re all practicing for the opening night of Ramune no Nomikata,” Airin sighed, looking down as her hair covered her face.

“Oh, how’s that going?” Nakanishi inquired, sitting up.

“Not too good, the teachers have pretty much given up on us,” Airin sighed again.

“Is it that difficult?”

“It’s just, we all want to do well too badly.  It’s affecting our concentration and movements and we can’t stay organised.  We’re hoping that it’ll work itself out before October, but I think in the mean time, Churi’s incredibly stressed out,” Airin explained, before sinking lower into her seat.

“Well, good luck next week then.” Nakanishi looked concerned, and decided not to inform Airin that Rena had already reserved a seat to watch the first Ramune no Nomikata stage.  It would only make things worse, she reasoned sensibly.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

October, 2011 - Opening night of Ramune no Nomikata

After the epic fail of the morning’s rehearsals, everyone was on edge.  However, everyone took consolation from the saying that the worse the last full-dress rehearsal, the better the performance.

“Alright, everyone.  This is what we’ve been waiting for.  It’s time to go.” Churi informed them quietly. As they all looked at each other, encouraging smiles on their faces, Churi prepared them for the ritual Ki-Ai. “KII… Let’s go!!!”

As the first night passed in a flash, ending with all the KII members crying after the team KII call, touched by the support and glad to have pulled through…  No one saw Matsui Rena slip out of the back.  She had somewhere to be early tomorrow morning, and couldn’t stay but…  To say that she’d enjoyed it would have been an understatement.

As she settled back into her seat on the shinkansen out to Tokyo…  She replayed the scenes of Airin appearing for her unit song with Ogiso-chan in her mind.  Airin had looked… so serious, so adult.  So alluringly assertive, that red dress clinging to her figure.  Nothing like the cute, embarrassed, shy, school-uniform obsessed otaku personality that she associated with Airin.  As she forced the words “sexy” and “hot” out of her mind, she blushed as she recalled the moment where she thought her gaze in the crowd had met with Airin’s.

There had always been something deeply intense about Airin’s gaze, she thought.  Something about it that made her heart jolt, willing her to look deeper.  Tonight, Airin’s gaze had sent shivers through her.  Seeing Airin on the stage, strutting, taking on the character of a sexy adult, she recalled what Airin had told her once, embarrassed and blushing, about seeing “Ame no Pianist”.

“I really like Rena-san’s solo song, Kareha no Station, but it was Ame no Pianist that made me take notice,” Airin blushed.  ”It was… very adult, very instinctual, very… affecting.  And I remember looking at Rena-san and feeling envious of her future husband,” Airin trailed off then, almost too embarrassed to continue.

“I think I know what she means,” Rena recalled, blushing.  ”To have someone that incredibly attractive look at you like that… To make you feel wanted and desired… It makes you feel as if the clumsy, unattractive parts of yourself are insignificantly small…” she blushed. “Wait, what am I thinking… I…”
“…Tokyo station! The next stop is Tokyo station! Please take note that this stop is the last stop…” Rena was jolted out of her reverie, and made haste to grab her bags.

Every night that week, Rena dreamt.

A girl wearing a red dress and black gloves took to the stage at Sunshine Sakae, turning her chin in her direction and giving her a look of longing as their eyes met.  Deep brown pupils, eyes widened around the edges, moving upwards and exerting a powerful pull on something deep in her chest.  As she moved towards the stage, reaching towards the outstretched hand, her feet felt heavier.  The more she struggled, the more her feet felt as if they were stuck to the wooden floor boards.  At the last moment, just as she was about to take the gloved hand in her own, a group of girls, whom she recognised as Manatsu, Churi, Matsurina, Imade-chan among others, pulled the girl backwards and behind the curtain.  At that moment, she’d wake up, in cold sweat, the residual pull in her chest almost left behind as a permanent presence.

It was after 6 days that Rena broke after a team S stage performance, and finally told Nakanishi about her recurrent dreams and constant, intrusive thoughts of Airin.

“Wow.” Nakanishi couldn’t say anything for a few moments.

“Yeah, I know.” Rena buried her head in her hands.

“What’s worse, I know that Airin’s just nice to everyone… I’m… I’ve been putting distance between us, as well.. She’s tired of me.” Rena rubbed her eyes, tired.

“Uh, Rena… I think… You should talk to Furukawa.” Nakanishi said soberly.

“I… It won’t do any good.” Rena replied, frustrated.

Nakanishi rolled her eyes. “Has Airin been anything but kind to anyone?  There’s no way that she’d be cruel with you, and you know, it’s already kinda awkward what with the extreme flirting in between politely distant thing that you guys swing to and from.”

“I know that but… Airin… has her own worries.  She doesn’t need me, she’s never needed me.” Rena muttered under her breath.

“Oh please,” Nakanishi sighed. “Airin isn’t superhuman, though she pretends to be.  She’s never wanted to show her weak side to anyone, not even Churi.  Even when she hangs out with Kanakana and I, she’s always been unwilling to let us in on her problems.  I can’t tell you what she says about you, but you should definitely talk to her. At least so that you can clear this up.”

Nakanishi finished packing up, heading towards the door as Rena nodded her head.

“Well, goodnight and good luck.” Nakanishi winked, closing the door behind her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

November, 2011 - Shooting for Kataomoi Finally PV
(undisclosed location)

When Airin and Manatsu had been chosen for the Kataomoi Finally senbatsu, Matsui Rena was inordinately relieved.  This meant that she would get to see Airin more often, and this would give her opportunities to put her plan into action.  She’d confided in her little-sister figure, Kanon, who, of all people, had turned out to be quite a schemer.

“Then again, I worked this out on Kinchan’s suggestion, so you should probably make sure that it actually is reasonable… God knows, she’s helpful but she’s still an alien.” Kanon commented, before looking off at Airin in the distance, talking animatedly with Churi about some kitten they had seen on the shooting grounds.

“Thanks, Kanon.” Rena hugged her gratefully.

As Rena turned away, she noticed Airin staring at them before quickly looking away.  Perhaps this was going to work after all.

First, over lunch bentos, she crept up behind Airin as she stood, trying to decide between Nori-bento and Teriyaki Chicken.

“AIRI~~” she squealed as she hugged Airin for the first time in months.

“AUGH————” a strange, strangled sound came from Airin’s throat as she struggled initially before giving in.

“RE-rena-san…? Why..?” she asked, confused.

“I felt like it.” Rena grinned, and winked, holding on more tightly to Airin, now pressing her face into Airin’s collarbone.

“Airin smells nice.” she whispered quietly, loudly enough only for Airin to hear.

“Rena-san…” Airin turned red, her body stiff as a board.

“Mmm, I’ve been lonely lately ‘cause Airin hasn’t been texting me…” Rena complained lightly.

“I—I’m sorry Rena-san…” Airin flushed to her ears. “I didn’t want to bother you since you’re so busy, whether with team S, your own stuff or AKB singles…” Airin looked away, muttering “and you didn’t text me either you know”.

“What is that?  Is Airin upset that I didn’t text her?  Awwww, so cute… ” as Rena lifted her upper body, placing her lips next to Airin’s ear, she whispered, “But I wanted to, you know.”

Airin started, almost ready to run away, looking off at Churi and Manatsu in the distance, completely preoccupied with their own conversation, and then at Jurina, playing with Katsuo in the distance, then at Kuumin and Kanon, blushing at each other again.  Nope, no rescue options available. Damn!

“Uh… uh… Rena-san… I… I wanted to text you too.” she stumbled over her words, the grammar, forms and pronouns jumbled and almost unintelligible.

As Rena took note of Airin’s extreme discomfort, she smiled, pulling back slightly to Airin’s relief, and ran the pad of her thumb over Airin’s cheek up to the corner of her eye gently.

“I’m happy. Next time we’ll message each other whenever we want to, about anything at all, okay?” she asked, smiling gently.

“Uh, yeah…  OK.” Airin smiled in reply, lamenting internally how she could never deny Rena anything, even despite the current strangeness of their relationship.

As the days wore on and Rena’s periodic assaults became almost a fixture of the recording breaks, Airin took to hanging out with Churi and Manatsu for protection.  When even that failed, one night after dinner, she took refuge on the veranda of their rented house looking out over the ocean.

“Hey, Airin, did you hear?  There’s a severe cold front coming in tonight!  It’s going to drop to freezing or something… You’d better wrap up if you’re going to stay out here like that.” Churi warned, heading back inside.

“Ah! What about that stray that we saw earlier at the school during the shoot?  It didn’t have a place to stay… I’m going to look for it and bring it in,” Airin yelled out to Churi, grabbing her coat and heading off.

“OK, but don’t stay out too late!” Churi called back, rubbing her hands together from the cold.

10pm, and still no sign of Airin or the stray she was looking for.  As Rena paced across the tatami mats of the room that she’d strong-armed their management into allocating to her and Airin, she finally gave up, pulling on her own coat with an exasperated sigh.

“I’m going to look for Airin, will be back ASAP.  If there’s anything give me a call.” she wrote a note, sticking it to the top of their kotatsu, before rushing out in the direction of the school.

“Airi! AI-RI!!!!!” Rena called, wandering around the grounds.  When she was sure that there was no one on the relatively small campus, she headed back, now very worried.

“AIRI!!!” Rena called, over and over.

“Eh?? Rena-san!” a surprised reply reached her ears, as she walked in the direction of the beach.

“Rena-san! What are you doing out here?? It’s cold!” Airin exclaimed, concerned, arms wrapped around herself.

“It’s cold, so what are YOU doing out?” Rena replied, almost annoyed.  ”I’ve been searching for you for the last two hours! I thought you were on campus!”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think Nyaa-chan was there so I came out here to look.” Airin replied, shrugging sheepishly.

“Did you see it?” Rena asked, reminded of the cat.

“No, I reckon she’s probably found a warm place to hide away…” Airin trailed off with a worried look in her eyes.

“Jeez, that’s just like you, Airin.  Always worried about everyone else but yourself…” Rena said, annoyed, as she took note of Airin’s blue lips.

“Brrrrrrrrr!! It’s cold!!” Airin rubbed her hands together, shivering, as Rena unwrapped her own scarf and put it around Airin’s neck.

“Bu-but what about Rena-san??” Airin asked as she tried to push it away.

“I’ll be fine, I haven’t been out here nearly as long as you and I’m dressed properly.  Sheesh Airin, you really make me worry!!  You act all grown up and take good care of others, but what about yourself?  You can lean on the people around you, you know…” Rena looked furious, taking Airin’s hands in her own, shoving them in her coat pockets and wrapped her own body around Airin’s to warm her up.

“Re-rena-san…” Airin started uncertainly, then settled for an apology.

“I’m sorry for causing you trouble.” she pulled back, trying to half-bow as Rena refused to let go and pulled her back instead.

“I don’t want an apology, I want Airin to turn to me when she needs help, or support.  I want Airin to be able to talk to me about how she’s really feeling.  I don’t want Airin to pretend with me.  I want…” Rena trailed off.

“Mm…?” Airin looked up, waiting for the rest of the sentence.

As their eyes met, Rena felt a strong, familiar pull in her chest.  The look in Airin’s eyes, where before they’d been unable to meet hers.  The adoration and longing, the darkening and widening of her pupils.  The slight embarrassment causing her cheeks to turn slightly pink.  The pull of the muscles around her eyes indicating almost panic…

Rena ran her thumb over Airin’s cheek again, smiling reassuringly.  As she sensed Airin relax, Rena leaned in, putting her own forehead against Airin’s cold forehead, closing her eyes.

After what felt like an age, the feeling of their intimacy building with every breath that passed on to the others’ lips, they gradually grew more embarrassed and exposed.

“Look, Rena-san.” Airin pointed, as the moon passed from behind the clouds.  It was incredibly bright, and almost full, illuminating everything around them like the sun and creating long, dark shadows.  The ocean glittered, waves in the distance shimmering like lines and the white spray crashing against the shoreline. 

As Rena turned towards the moon, the deep blue of the ocean reflected the entirety of the coast, gently illuminated with every moonbeam, lending it a dream-like quality, almost solidifying the air.

If you were to ask Rena about it, she would talk about the moment being right, or their feelings finally meeting, having been lit up on that dark night, or simply that Kanon’s scheme to break Airin’s self-doubt worked.

If you were to ask Airin about it, she would give a far simpler explanation.  Looking out at the ocean, her hair blown back as the moonlight made her white skin glow, that gentle, beautiful smile on her face, Rena was far too beautiful and otherworldly to resist.

“Rena-san.” Airin pulled her closer. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Airi” Rena blushed.

“I really love you.” Airin looked at Rena seriously. “I’ve loved you for a long time.  Thank you for giving me something to improve myself for.”

“I.. Airi.” Rena looked at her, unsmilingly. “Don’t thank me.  You’ve made me look outside of myself and my own goals to the people around me.  I love who you are, what you do and how you try your very best for everyone around you. Please don’t thank me.”

“Can I continue loving you then?” Airin asked hopefully.

“You’d better.” Rena smiled widely, “and no more hanging out with MatsuRina. She likes you too. At least Churi’s moved on to Manatsu-chan.”

“E-eh?! No way!” Airin looked shocked as Rena took her hand, leading her back to the house.

“I’m the only one for you from now on, remember that!” Rena warned.

“Ye-yes, Rena-san.” Airin followed her, still confused.

“Also, no more of that ‘Rena-san’ thing. Just call me Rena.”

“Ye-yes, Rena-sa-uh, Rena.” Airin blushed, then looked away.

“That’s so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!!” Rena grinned, hugging Airin as she dragged her up the front steps.

“Mrrrrrrrrrrrrow.”

“You don’t have to purr, you know. Just hug me back,” Rena teased.

“Oh-oh!” They were both startled as a furry head poked out from between the potted plants.

“So that’s where you were!” Airin picked up the stray, which was shaking from the cold.

“Come on in! Let’s get warm!” Rena pulled on Airin’s hand as Airin blushed.

“Not like that, you pervert…” She laughed. “Yet.” She winked, throwing a playful look over her shoulder at Airin who grabbed her nose in preparation for a nosebleed.

The next morning, as the prankster Mizuki crept into Rena and Airin’s room, eager to drop a water balloon on Airin, she noticed that Airin was holding a small cat, curled on a single futon.  Beside Airin was Rena, her arm holding Airin around her waist tightly, her face tucked under Airin’s chin as both of them held each other tightly in their sleep.  Across the room was another unoccupied single futon.  As Katsuo crept over with a camera, Rena’s eyes shot open with a glare.

“I- …” Katsuo looked despondent, withering under the glare as she left the two of them unmolested and quietly closed the sliding door behind her.
The morning sun rose, cracking over the horizon as Rena laid her head back down on Airin’s shoulder, smiling.  It was going to be a good day.

[noomuumuu]

Part 4 (final):

The morning after

As Airin slowly awoke from a peaceful and strangely comfortable sleep, she noticed that her body was being weighed down by something more significant than the kitten that she had brought with her into her futon.  As she gradually eased into consciousness, she noticed dark hair spread out over her torso, a head tucked under her chin.  Fighting back the instinct to bolt and her panic once the realisation hit that it was Rena sleeping on her, she lay there, silently mouthing the following mantra over and over: “Rena-san is sleeping, don’t wake her, Rena-san is sleeping, don’t wake her, Rena-san is sleeping…”

Of course, Rena, being an extremely light sleeper, had woken the moment Airin started stirring, and noticing that Airin had suddenly turned stiff as a board, decided to have a bit of fun.  She shifted her body slowly, turning it more to cover Airin’s torso, taking in a deep breath and hugging her tighter before evening out her breathing again.

She smiled mischievously as Airin took in a deep breath and repeated her mantra over and over, what she was saying almost obvious by her breathing pattern.  After a couple of minutes, having given Airin what Rena thought was enough time to recover from the initial blush and panic, it was time for the next step.

Rena turned her head, pretending to mumble unintelligibly as she pushed her nose into Airin’s collarbone, inhaling deeply as she hugged Airin closer than before.  She felt, more than anything else, Airin’s embarrassment, with the skin below her cheek heating up and the heartbeat pounding under her ear almost deafeningly loud.  She then decided that it was time to stop torturing Airin, who, at this rate, could possibly pass out.

Rena lifted her chin, looking up at Airin’s expression, which seemed almost tortured, her eyes shut tightly, jaw clenched, lips mouthing words, tears rolling down the sides of her face, which was almost completely red. “Wow, are you okay, Airin?” Rena inquired, worried.

Airin’s eyes shot open.  ”Were you awake this whole time Rena-san?” she almost growled.

“Heheheh, I’ll leave it up to your imagination Airi.  Good morning, by the way.” Rena winked.

“Ah. Rena-san, good morning.” Airin rubbed at her eyes, checking the clock to make sure that they had time.

“Oh, I would’ve woken you if we were going to be late,” Rena continued, starting to put away the futons.

“Thanks, Rena-san. You’re so kind.  It’s alright, I- I can do that…” Airin said, trying to take the futons from her.

“Don’t be silly, I can do that too. Airin can go wash up first.” Rena motioned towards the bathroom.

“Ah - but - It’s okay, Rena-san should go wash first, I drop lots of hair and it’ll clog the drain so it’s not-“

Rena cut her off here, saying, “Now, if Airi doesn’t go wash up now, I’ll join her while she’s taking a bath, now, wouldn’t that be fun..?”

As Airin blushed to the roots of her hair and rushed for the bathroom, Rena raised her hand to cover her mouth and giggle to herself.  Airin was really adorably shy, and the knowledge that she was the only one able to embarrass Airin to this degree gave her a feeling of power.

“Rena-san?” Airin stuck her head out from the bathroom.

“Yes, Airi?” Rena looked up from folding the sheets, puzzled.

“I was just wondering… didn’t we go to bed in separate futons last night?” Airin asked, puzzled.

“Oh, that.  I couldn’t sleep because of everything that happened, and felt a bit lonely so I joined you… was that not okay..? Rena replied with a worried expression.

“Uh, it-It’s okay, it’s just… I wasn’t sure if I did or said anything in my sleep… If I did, I’m sorry!!!” Airin blushed and closed the door behind her.

“The problem was that you didn’t do anything,” Rena mused, covering her warm cheeks as she put the futons away in the cupboard.

---------------------------------------------

Early December, 2011

“Goodness, how many more signals can I send her before she actually does something?!” Rena raged at Nakanishi.

“Uh, is this about Mkawa again?” Nakanishi groaned.  Having witnessed the “relationship upgrade” and the subsequent “what did she mean?” counselling sessions that both of them seemed to require every few days, she was a bit tired.

“Yeah… She… just doesn’t DO ANYTHING,” Rena protested.

“What exactly do you want her to do-” Nakanishi started, then stopped.  ”Nevermind, don’t answer that.”

They both sighed, falling silent as their coffee arrived.

“Well, it’s not like you don’t know that Airin’s famous for her passivity,” Nakanishi continued, “so why don’t you just take the initiative?”

“I’ve always been the one taking action up till now..  I’m a bit worried that she actually doesn’t like me and is simply going along with it because she’s worried of offending me or something…  You know how she is with the whole respect and senpai thing…  and she STILL calls me ‘Rena-san’ despite everything!” Rena ranted, frustrated.

Nakanishi sighed. “All I can say is that she only ever becomes that uptight and nervous when with you.  That’s probably a good sign.”

They both sighed, looking over in the direction of a certain Mkawa sneaking up behind Manatsu, soft-toy frog in hand before she was pulled backwards by an over-protective Churi, the two wrestling on the floor for the frog.

“…and yet I love that part of her too.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Recording for SKE Kouhaku, 2011

“Rena-san, what are you performing today?  Surely you can tell me now.  It’s almost time.” Airin murmured, snuggled comfortably in Rena’s arms, both of them perched on a bean bag.

“…I want it to be a surprise.  Airi-chan said that she likes me being cool, isn’t it?  Then she’ll like this.” Rena chided her gently.

“Mmm, okay then. I’ll look forward to it.” Airin turned towards Rena, her eyes shining.

“I loved Airi and Akagumi’s sculpture gymnastics too, it was SUPER cute.” Rena smiled.

“We worked really hard for that! You know, Aki-san got injured!” Airin said defensively.

Rena’s face turned serious. “Yeah, I know. I think that was really unnecessary.  Like, they could’ve made the tower one level lower!  It would’ve still been impressive!  Airi…  I’m just glad that you weren’t on the base.”

“Uh… Rena-san… I… can’t breathe…” Airin gasped.

“Ah!! Sorry, Airi… are you okay?” Rena loosened her grip, lifting Airin’s arms and peering to check for any bruising.

“I-I’m okay, Rena-san, I think it’s time for us to go…” Airin stuttered, nervous at having Rena’s face so close to her own.

“Are you sure? Do you want to rest a bit more?” Rena fussed over her.

“Yeah.  I want to see Rena-san’s performance later.  Shall we go?” Airin smiled, standing and offering her hand to Rena.

“Airi-chan is so cute,” Rena took Airin’s hand, and after standing, pulled her into a hug.

“Uh, Matsui-san?  It’s time to get dressed.” A head poked in the door.

“Sorry, Airi, I’ll meet up with you after the recording.” Rena gave her one last hug and smile, following the staff member out to the dressing room.

—————————————————————————-

“Mmmm…” Airin seemed to be floating on cloud nine.

“You’re being disgusting again,” Nakanishi grumbled.

“Mmmm…” Airin kept grinning.

“At least stop drooling, seriously.” Nakanishi handed over a handkerchief.

“I’m not drooling!! And… OH MY GOD RENA-SAN IS SO COOL IN THAT OUTFIT!!  I hope she shows off her Kendo, it’s the coolest thing ever.”

Nakanishi rolled her eyes. “Don’t you know what she’s doing?”

“Nah, no idea.  I promised Rena-san that I wouldn’t ask the staff or other members, and she refused to tell me.” Airin pouted.

“Oh.  You’re gonna be surprised.”

——————————————————————————

After the recording, Rena approached Nakanishi directly.

“Where’s Airi?  I saw her sitting next to you up till earlier, and didn’t see her when it ended.” Rena wondered.

“She left when you tied your hand to the blade,” Nakanishi explained, worried.

“Do you know where she went??” Rena started getting worried, too.

“I think she went that way,” Nakanishi pointed in the general direction of the stairs, as Rena immediately set off, still dressed in swordswoman outfit.

“Airi?” Rena called out in the stairwell.

Wait a minute, wait a minute - Rena felt a moment of deja vu.  There was something familiar about this stairwell, the cold, the feeling of needing Airin in this place.  Wasn’t it the 4th floor landing that time?

Rena climbed the stairs quickly, working her legs as fast as she could.  She reached the top floor, panting, and leaned over, hands on her knees.
Sitting on the last flight of stairs, leading up to the roof, was Airin, crouched into a ball, hugging her knees.

“Airi?” Rena called, as if to a scared animal.

“Why did you have to do that?” Airin looked up, tears in her eyes.

“I… It’s my job, and for Akagumi… I…” Rena started.

“That’s an excuse!  That’s why you didn’t want me to know about it beforehand!” Airin yelled.  Rena had never seen Airin irritated, much less angry. 

There was no doubt at all that right now, Airin was furious.

“I-… I’m sorry, Airi.” Rena bowed her head.

“It’s always so unfair, they’re always demanding more and more of you.  Why not of other people??  This time, it’s gone too far!  You could’ve gotten hurt really badly!  All in the name of some stupid stunt!  What if next time, they ask you to jump from a building?  Rena, I- I can’t -lose- you-” Airin ranted, tears rolling down her cheeks.

”..” Rena just stared for a second, then pulled Airin off the steps towards her.  Screw wanting Airin to take the initiative.  This was too important to wait for.

As far as first kisses go, objectively, this probably wasn’t perfect. 

Rena’s pull brought Airin close, and in one motion, Rena simply kissed her.  Airin, while deeply surprised, closed her eyes when she felt Rena’s lips against hers.  For a few seconds, neither of them did anything else, not even breathing.  It was Rena’s first time ever kissing someone and Airin’s first time being kissed (that time when that disgusting boy forced himself on her at a university mixer didn’t count).  However, it seemed perfect to both of them, with Rena holding Airin close to her, hands around her shoulders as Airin held her tightly around her waist.

As they broke apart, gently, both of them blushing and smiling, Rena looked at the floor, being unable to meet Airin’s gaze.

“Rena.” Airin said quietly.

As Rena looked up, Airin tilted her head, kissing her back.  This time, it was less impulsive, less urgent, gentle, loving and warm.  Airin pulled her closer, kissing her, over and over, Rena reciprocated, smiling as she found herself being pushed against the wall.  Between the cold smooth hardness of the wall and the soft warmth of Airin’s body pushing into hers, Rena desperately pulled Airin as close as possible, kissing harder and harder until they broke apart, panting.

“…I’ve wanted you to do that for a long time,” Rena whispered, blushing harder.

“I… I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Airin admitted, sending a jolt to Rena’s stomach.

“Why didn’t you?” Rena asked quietly.

“I thought that you wouldn’t like it, or that you were just playing around with me because you found my reactions amusing…” Airin looked away, pulling on Rena’s hand as they made their way to the window.

“…but didn’t I already tell you that I love you?” Rena asked, puzzled.

“I… didn’t know if it was this kind of love…” Airin blushed again.

“What other kind of love could it be??” Rena grumbled, frustrated.

Airin smiled, hugging Rena. “The kind that Rena tells Paruru and Non and Arii and Ainyan that you have for them.”

“…” Rena looked embarrassed.  ”That’s… that’s just friendship.”

“Mmmhmm.” Airin raised her eyebrow.

“Just so we’re clear, now, you belong to me, and I belong to you, okay?” Airin looked at Rena intensely.  ”So that means that you can’t flirt, either.” 

Rena nodded shyly as they both settled into a comfortable silence.

“Ah!  Look, it’s snowing again, like that time.”  Rena commented.

“That time?” Airin asked, puzzled.

“Uh, that time you came after me, and we were in the stairwell… You don’t remember, do you?” said Rena, crestfallen.

“I remember, but it wasn’t in this building.  Actually, how did Rena know I was here?” Airin’s brow furrowed.

“I… I’m not sure…”

As the snow fell outside, against the rapidly darkening sky, Rena and Airin held each other.  While the future was uncertain and challenging, they would always walk on together, hands tightly clasped and a source of warmth and comfort for each other.

—————————————————————————-
THE END

[bunny_rabbit]

waa...

what a sweet moment for RenAirin *shed tears of joy*

thank you

[Kuji]

I remember this from when it was first posted on tumblr but it's nice to see it here in a slightly easier to access form. Enjoyed just rereading it all the way through. RenAirin are an adorable couple and I love how this story progresses from their meeting onwards.

 Thanks for writing and reposting.

[sakura_drop_]

Thank you for this cute and fluffy RenAirin story! 

[Megumi]

  I remembered reading this fic on your wonderful tumblr 
Rereading it again because Airins reaction is so cute here 

Thank you for spreading RenaAirin love on
ArígatoU!

[crazywota]

Waah, you posted it here! My Favorite RenAirin Fanfic so far.
Let's keep spreading RenAirin Rabu~ 

Thank you very much for this wonderful piece 

[gekirena]

ah! it's posted ^_^

i remember reading this on tumblr as well ^_^
it's soo fluffy~ 
i love RenAirin~~~
thanks for posting it here 

[Pandah]

ah...i read this on your tumblr
i think ive read it like *cough* at least 5 times o.o i absolutely love it! and i love renairin as well hope you will write some more renairinin the future
thanks heaps for writing this! 

[Sara-chan]

this fic is so cute <3 i love it 

[Souju]

RenAirin! this fanfic is so realistic  one of my favorites!

[inari]

RenAirin is a totally adorable pairing and they seriously need to get married. Thank you for writing this

Big lol @ melonpan.ichiban.suki@yahoo.jp

[Taivas]

I personally love you for writing this fic.

[jimmyjjohn]

Hi! Been blushing excessively for the last 2 years even when I am not embarrassed or when i am alone too. It started due to a very embarrassing encounter when I was with my friends. Funny thing is I don't How to Stop Blushing around strangers. It happens when I am with people I know. But after reading through your tips I think I know the problem. I will definitely try out your tips. Thanks!