I sighed and leaned back on the couch, I closed my eyes and tried to think of a good answer. My friend – or interned friend, just asked one hard question.
Why do we feel hurt? I tried to think of a good answer but I couldn’t.
It was one boring day, my dad was at home while the rest of the family were working. It just happened that he had a day off. I was upstairs in my room, with my laptop. Lappy-chan, on my lap. I was watching an anime which I never had time for, sorry all Otakus…but I don’t have much time. But then my friend decided to ask this question. I sighed again and typed an answer.
Good question. No answer.
It's just..we should. If we don't feel. We'd never be guilty for something.As much as I found this answer not a good one, I just forced myself to type something. I sighed again and ran my finger through my hair. I’m an useless friend that couldn’t help when my friends needed me. We’re different people. Yes, I know. I am not that dumb and I know it…but I don’t know how others feel, I didn’t know how other people would deal with it. I’m not a good comforter and I never was, the only thing I would do is pat your back and tell you everything’s gonna be okay.
As much as I try to comfort her, I fail. And because I am stupid I asked one of the most dumb questions on earth.
Are you crying? I asked. Then after sending it I facepalmed. Sigh. I did it again, asking these dumb questions. I tried to comfort her by my awkward ways, I’m not even sure if they work. But at least…I tried, and that’s what counts…right?
Soon I found myself talking about the
light , I maybe didn’t tell you that my friend here has a lot of problems. But now that you know…you should help this useless little dumb kid here! I continued to try to comfort her.
I honestly don’t believe in the ‘light’ inside you or something like that. Or when you’re lost in the darkness you’ll find your ‘light’ and blah blah. No. Just no.
Like who cares? I’m so not lost. Is what I told myself until I met this friend. And that’s when I started believing in those stuff. Don’t ask how..I just do. Suddenly, she send me a message.
When the end comes please don't cry but laugh instead. I don't want to see you sad. Is what she sent me. I almost screamed, my heart started beating faster. I got really scared, I mean..I lived here and she lived on the other side of this country. I didn’t know what she would do to herself and that scared me the whole time.
Act normal. Act normal! And so I did try to act normal. And replied with something really awkward.
Don't give up! You're still a kid. it'll end sooner or later by you finding the light.What? I tried acting normal and wise at the same time. I suck, I know. But I was scared…since we’re at that age when you act stupid and do a lot of stupid stuff.
They say when your time has come you'll see a light at the end of a very dark tunnel.She said. I was alone upstairs…no one heard me when I screamed. No one can blame me for anything. I was scared! And oh my god she just had to say that. I quickly replied telling her that it’s all bullshit. And yes I think it’s bullshit because I don’t even believe in it, and I was scared she’d believe in those stuff. She then told me she felt better and thanked me for…comforting her? Well, she only thanked me and I just assumed it was cause I ‘comforted’ her. I did nothing.
Because I am an awesome person I decided to go back to my ‘weird’ self and crack a joke. I got called idiot. Thank you very much friend, we then joked around and continued to try keep it far as possible from serious.
But y’know, I have something to confess…I actually love that girl. I fell in love with her and now I’m in trouble, she has a girlfriend and only sees me as a friend. I never expected her to love me more than a friend…but I can’t keep wishing that she did. And when she talks to me my heart goes doki doki and I start blushing, that happens a lot. I’m glad she doesn’t see that because that’d be so embarrassing
* *
After a while of talking with her, she went off. I was kind of disappointed that she didn’t stay for a long time, but didn’t say anything. After a while of lurking on the internet and watching anime. her girlfriend went on. I had actually tried to ‘draw’ her girlfriend on paint. It was a fail but it was fun, so I sent the ‘drawing’ to her girlfriend.
Honestly I watch a lot of dramas where the main who loves a person who has a boyfriend or a girlfriend hates the boyfriend or the girlfriend. But I never hated her girlfriend, she’s a really nice person…it’s impossible to hate her. And she was cute, but I only see her as a friend. A few hours passed by (it felt like years without her) and she didn’t come on. I sat there in front of my screen, staring at it blankly while thinking of her. What was she doing? Is she fine? Is she crying?
I sighed again and decided to go to the kitchen and grab something to eat. I slowly made my way to the kitchen. I swear a turtle would be faster than me, but since she wasn't on…there wasn’t really something to look forward to. I glanced at my father who was still watching TV. I then made my way to the fridge and opened it, I scanned the food inside. Do you think there’s something to eat? No! What would I eat? Tomatoes or raw eggs? I sighed and made my way to my room again, nothing to eat. I wasn’t even hungry…just bored. Without even caring if the bed will break or not, I jumped on the bed. Then carefully sat down because the bed started shaking after the jump, poor Beddy. I stared at my laptop screen, and then I saw it. A thing that made me grin like an idiot (not that mind that). She was on. I didn’t waste any time and sent her a smiley.
Oh, hi! My heart started beating faster, this is mean…so mean. I blushed, and replied back with something you don’t need to know. We talked a little more, then my father. Decided to destroy my happiness by coming into my room and telling me that we’re going. And I had no choice but to follow, as much as I didn’t want to go, I had to.
Uh..I am sorry but I need to go.I was crying from the inside. She replied with bye. And I went off.
Topic: My precious treasure Chapter 1 (Read 2034 times)