I wrote it long time ago, so to be honest I'm trolling Leonardo DiCaprio. It's accidental. Upon a request, I'll not be either killing WMatsui or hurting them physically.
PART I
She graduated from the group and became an actress. A true actress. She was serious to pursue the acting career and made efforts to change idolish acting style. She gained certain success and was nominated for several academy awards yet never won any of them. Though she was highly evaluated by experts, she always missed final victories. Her name, hence, was never recorded in Japanese cinema history. However, thank to that, she gets a peaceful life after she decided to withdraw from the cinema industry in particular and the entertainment industry at a whole.
Her youth was exploited on stages. Her bank account was increasing year by year. Paradoxically, she rarely had time to spend it. When she retires, she makes a very quick calculation: if she lives as a normal citizen, she will be able to live without caring about money matter at least 20 years. It is true that she has a lot of money, but who knows what may happen? Inflation. Recession. Disasters.
The first thing she learns when she comes back to the usual life is that there are things money cannot buy. One of them is health. She has suffered from infectious gastroenteritis since she was a teenager idol. She was sent to the hospital numerous times. She does not remember exactly how many times either. However, she did not care. She tried to stand on the stage by any cost. She always smiled and always performed until all energy spent. Gastroenteritis is not something that can kill her, but it tortures her whenever she has a relapse.
She lives in an average apartment in an average area where most of people are office workers. They are usually busy and spend most of the time in offices, so they hardly notice her. She enjoys the peace. Every morning, she wakes up, goes for a run, stops by a grocery for fresh food, cooks, reads books, and has a walk when the sunset falls. Then she goes home, takes shower, listens to some old songs, and falls in sleep. It is how she spends a typical day. On weekends, she usually stops by a bookstore to get some books for the following week or a supermarket to buy some household essentials such as toilet paper or trash bags or other personal stuff like menstrual pad. At the end of every month, she goes to the hospital to get medicine. And that is it. She lives a healthy life and has healthy food which she never had when she was working in the entertainment industry.
She never complains about her current life. It seems perfect. She is not extremely happy, but not sad or lonely either. She does not think anything special either about past or about future. Tomorrow comes when tomorrow comes. It is obvious, so why does she have to care about it? She starts getting used to her current life and somehow feels comfortable and secure. The only one she may have a talk is probably her neighbor Katsumi (self-controlled). Katsumi is an American Japanese. He was born and brought up in the United States, and he has just come to Japan and worked for a few years. He is careless and laid back. But their talks are rare too. It is not because he or she keeps distance, but because Katsumi is too busy. He is an architect and often not home. She, however, does trust him. She can let him enter her house and help her fix the sink or change a bulb without worrying. She feels secure to be with him.
He also believes her. There was a time she asked him the reasons why he chose to reside in Japan. Yes, Japan was a part of his origin but he did not have any memories with it at all. Katsumi was very sincere to share his story:
“I want to know the place where my boyfriend was born and grew up.”
She surprisingly looked at him, but there was absolutely no discrimination in her eyes. Probably Katsumi also felt her empathy, so he continued.
“Japanese blood does flow in me, but I had no memories about it. I never lived in Japan even a day. I traveled with my parents but we’d never been to Japan. We’ve been to Africa, Europe, and other Asian countries like Korea, but never Japan. My parents always avoided Japan. I didn’t know why. Until now I still don’t know.”
Katsumi paused for a while. He intended to smoke but remembered that he was sitting with her, so he gave up.
“Well, the first time I met Kioshi (pure) my impression was nothing more than his nationality. I wasn’t very interesting in making friend with him either. I was an architecture student. I used to go out with some girls so I never thought I was a gay. However, I love Kioshi. Sincerely I love him. Gay or anything else isn’t important any more. A name tag is a name tag. I don’t understand why people create such many name tags for LGBT community. I don’t want to be involved in this community either. When you expect to be treated as everyone else, don’t create a special name for you. If you’re normal, be normal. Don’t pick a different name and make yourself outstanding. After all, I’m a very ordinary human being. I can love like the rest of six million people in the earth. I love Kioshi, and that’s it.”
She was quiet quite long after Katsumi finished his story. At a glance, he looked careless but actually reliable. He was succinct, but actually helpful and friendly. He never refused any favors. Whenever anyone needed help, he would help. More than one time, she heard compliments for him in the elevator.
“You know. Whatever I was still born in a traditional Asian family. No matter how I was open or “banana”-ized (the word “banana” is used for Asian American to imply that though their appearance looks like Asian people, their thoughts are already American), there were hidden rules I couldn’t break. And Kioshi, he was a full traditional Japanese. He followed all the rules.”
“But you two still love each other, right?”
“We do.”
“So where is he now?”
“9/11. His body was under bricks. 9/11. They’re just numbers, but you know what I mean, right? "9/11 - everyone knows what that means, and to say any more would be pointless. Sometimes word fails." (Charles McGrath, The Lexicon)”
She did not reply. She sympathized, but could not empathize with him.
"I still remember Obama's words on the Death of Osama bin Laden. "And yet we know that the worst images are those that were unseen to the world. The empty seat at the dinner table. Chilldren who were forced to grow up without their mother or their father. Parents who would never know the feeling of their child's embrace." I'm not sure that I'm hurt like those kids who lost their parents in 9/11. Yet they and I were in the same situation. We had to continue our lives without our loved ones. The world knows 9/11, but barely knows the feeling of having dinner with an opposite empty seat or waking up in the morning and releazing that your loved one no longer exists."
She respects him just more and more. He is like her elder brother. In comparison to Katsumi, she is still luckier. Though she cannot see the one she loves every day, this person and she are still in the same world. Katsumi just tries to complete his mission: “By living our lives, we nurture death.” (Murakami Haruki, Norwegian Wood)
(to be continued)
Topic: Mission (Read 2835 times)