Why do girls want the unattainable?

[mini]

I'd like to hear this answer from a guys point of view 'cause I've got this situation at the moment where I have a guy that's really interested in me and he's cute and nice but I keep coming up with excuses so I can't date him. So instead, I talk to another guy and I think there's interest, but he'd be an awful boyfriend. What is wrong with me? I know I'm not the only girl who does this.

I'm not really asking for advice 'cause I'm not taking my own, but why do guys think that girls do this? I think it's gay, but I'm not chaning apparantly...

[Gimme Dem Junks]

Ah, women.  :evil:

[LoveHaruru]

he's cute and nice

In all seriousness: how nice?  In all honesty, I don't find (as in, my own experiences) girls to have a physical attraction to the "nice" guy.  Now, I'm not going to be like all the losers who say "girls these days only go for the jack-asses/douche bags," cause that's not totally true either....but I believe that many females are ready to go after "the nice guys" once they're ready to settle down and find stability in their lives.  

Til then, it'll always be that other guy who's great for either a quick hook up or short term relationship for thrills.

Atleast, that's how I always saw it.

[frblckstr1]

Ah, women.  :evil:

Can't live with them, can't live without them...  

[Chatin]

I can't really help, Mini, because I go after the girls that are unavailable.

Apparently that makes me a dick because I flirt with all the other girls but dont' really have feelings for them.

[StreakInTheSky]

I fucking hate girls.

But I seem to never stop fallin for them.

[Jabronisaur]

My guess would be that this "nice guy" is missing some element of attraction. Either he's not bold enough, or noticible enough, or just too nice. This other guy may have some daring or darkness or drama that would make him seem more interesting. Either way, you're likely to be disapointed, because of the uncertainty your feeling. No matter how good things go, you may still second guess your choice.
But then I know absolutely shit when it come to women...and any man who thinks he does know women...is full of it!

[Asmodai]

I want the unattainable too. And I'm prepared to fight Jabronisaur to the death for her.

 


Seriously, I've encountered this too.

Couple of theories:
A) Sometimes the nice guy isn't really that nice. People subconciously pick up when other people are acting artificial.
B) Nice sometimes (not always) = boring. Being pleasant is one thing. Having the personality of a wet cornflake is another.
C) Sometimes (this happens to me going the other way) someone just seems out of your league, so you settle for second-rate even when it's not necessary.
D) Girls play hard to get. You don't want to fall for the nice guy too easily or he might get bored or not appreciate you.

Just some ideas.

[TheQuickening]

As a guy with several female co-workers, what I've heard is that one of the biggest attractions of the "bad boy" is the challenge/hope that the girl can change him to be a "nice guy".  She wants to tame him.  That way she has "control" over his wild side.  She can let him "let it out" when she needs it, but the rest of the time she'll have him keep it under wraps.

[MochaNutz]

Cuz girls are stupid  =P
And because the other guy is more exciting than the nice cute guy, i bet.

[kuno_thunder]

The answer is simple:  You're just not attracted to him.  Attraction is not a choice.  What you feel for him is probably AFFECTION, and not ATTRACTION.  There is a difference - affection can grow and be nutured, and can start even after years of hatred for one person.  Attraction on the other hand, is something that can't be controlled - it usually can only be automatically triggered by a greater power.

I know a lot of girls that stay with their jackoff boyfriends.  I ask them, "Why don't you just leave the motherfucker?" and they just go, "I dunno, I just want to work it out."  They're attracted to something about the guy that drives her crazy, and it overpowers all the other negative things she doesn't like about him.

And trust me guys, if you try to be the knight in shining armor to these poor girls in situations like this, you just fall into the friend zone. :evil:   Then they say things to you like, "Aw, you're such a nice guy."  But that doesn't mean they'll go out with you. :evil:

[MochaNutz]

What I found useful:  No matter how ugly you are (not to say you're all ugly or anything), but if you can make them laugh, then you have a chance.  "nice guys" fail to do that most of the time.  A lot of ugly dudes have some really nice girlfriends.  Oh, and the ugly rich ones too.

Then they say things to you like, "Aw, you're such a nice guy."

Haha, Kiss of Death =)  That's a trip to the Friends ladder =P  Anyone else here read up on the Ladder Theory?  Read it here =)  Its quite interesting, and pretty true I would say

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

[LoveHaruru]

Haha, Kiss of Death =)  That's a trip to the Friends ladder =P  Anyone else here read up on the Ladder Theory?  Read it here =)  Its quite interesting, and pretty true I would say

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

You don't need that kinda information to be written out!  ALL GUYS come to that realization at one point or another.  Chris Rock did an entire joke about the platonic friend.  The platonic friend is the dick in a glass case that reads: IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, BREAK! Even then, the chance of getting laid is slim because it's weird to fuck your (platonic) friend.

Haha, sorry to bring sex into it Mini, but I think a lot of guys will tell you that being the "nice guy" doesn't always lead to a physical relationship.  A friendly relationship most likely, where it feels like they are your relative or something...but not anything physical.

[elgie]

you could maybe be scared of enganging in a too serious relationship. Like LoveHaruru said, "nice" boys are meant to settle down and, if you're too young for that, you're inconsciounsly avoiding it.