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Author Topic: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Forty-Six -- Nightmare]  (Read 73704 times)

Loser87

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Eight -- When Fate Caught Up to Us]
« Reply #60 on: April 16, 2007, 04:01:17 AM »
First off, You almost killed me...
This is by far one of my fav. chapters by far!
I of course love all of your chapters and stories but this one in particular just building up the tension and anticipation!
I can not wait for the 9th chapter >w<

2nd of all,
Quote
Double-update because I won't let my master show me up! -shakefist-
Haha, poor, poor slave of mine!
You can't beat me when it comes to updating, I am the queen of chapter related updates BUAHAHAA!!
I bet you haven't written out Chapter 9 yet did you?
fufufufufu, silly slave I HAVE AN ARSENAL OF CHAPTERS JUST WAITING TO BE POSTED KUKUKUKUKU!!!!
*in the best clint eastwood voice i can impersonate* I dare you to challenge me, come on make my day XDXDXD

Now time to quote your lovely chapter!

Quote
And with her troupe… only the absolute best were accepted. Already, she was one of the weaker performers, and she had a feeling that after she recooperated completely… chances of still having a place at the theater were slim

;+; Poor Yurina!! *hugs kumakuma* >w<

Quote
“Why do you always hide from me…? Am I ever going to get to see you?”

“…Probably not.”

“Are you afraid of me?”

“…It’s more like… the other way around.”

Yurina was puzzled. “But I’m not afraid of you…”

“I know. I want it to stay that way.”

“I bet it’s not as bad as you make it out to be…”

“People are scared of me because they think I’m crazy. Somehow they assume that… just by looking at me. I don’t want you to see what they see.”

*Sigh* ChiiXYuri wuv is sure gonna be hard with their situation...>w<
It almost feels like Romeo and Juliet when they first met...I just hope they don't end in a tragic way like Romeo and Juliet >_O

Quote
Risako had caught up to me by this point, and as soon as she saw Maasa, she started to freak out just a little bit. And by that, I mean that she picked up this board that was leaning against the dumpster in the alleyway, and started waving it around like a maniac.

“Alright you big bully, back off! I got this piece of wood and… well… I don’t know karate or anything like that but I’ll kick your butt if you hurt Momo-chan.”

OMG I almost died laughing!! XDXDXDXD
My slave, I love your sense of humor haha
You brought me to tears, my sides hurt now ah~

Quote
“Look, that doesn’t matter, though. You’re right in that we should probably tell Shimizu-san what happened.”

“What do you mean we?”

“Um… wait, Shimizu?” Risako had dropped the board, and she was now very interested in the conversation.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well… I used to know a girl with that name…”

“So?”

“So, she’s the reason why Miyabi’s such a bitch.”

=O
This is exactly why I can't wait for your next chapter, the anticipation is making me kinda want to ditch school just so I can see if you updated or not >w<
I wanna know what happens!!
Hmm, I also wonder...
What will happen if Maiha met Momoko...
I do wonder what goes on in that imaginative head of yours >_>


Quote
She didn’t stop to watch the people performing on the street, because she thought they were beneath her and it was a waste of her time

Well, isn't Miyabi quite the stuck up >_>
You best make the next chapter good to make her into such a...female dog..(Refraining from using bad words, not very cute XD)
Because Miyabi is one of my fav. Berryz Member so you better have good reason!! *twirls around my crowbar in a threatening manner* O_O

Quote
A small crowd had gathered around a girl who was dancing to some frantic, unknown rhythm that only she seemed to be able to hear. Her moves were complex, intricate, and fluid, and impossible for anyone else to repeat.

And in that moment, when Miyabi recognized just who that girl was…

She could have sworn that her heart almost stopped beating.

Wow, Captain took Maasa's advice wow XD
But...This just tore me up and made me squeel like a silly little fangirl
I wonder, I wonder what captain and miya will do
A part of me says Captain will run away but another part says they'll probably argue =T
*sigh* I guess I'll have to sit put and wait =+=''

This is the longest comment I have ever done..
Appreciate it you nincompoop!

P.S. I will be updating very early, perhaps around 4:30 a.m. when I wake up for school, assuming my internet won't die and if it does die I'll double post again!!
TAKE THAT MY SLAVE FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFU!!!  :hiakhiakhiak: :hiakhiakhiak:

Until then I bid adeu  :byebye:
« Last Edit: April 16, 2007, 05:32:21 AM by Loser87 »

Offline Yuuyami

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Eight -- When Fate Caught Up to Us]
« Reply #61 on: April 16, 2007, 04:32:52 AM »
I feel the urge to illustrate some scenes manga-style XD

-can't wait for the Captain x Miyabi scene -

And shit, I missed a wedge xD Oh well, my wedges are often one in ten xD

Offline ziggurat

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Eight -- When Fate Caught Up to Us]
« Reply #62 on: April 16, 2007, 05:33:58 AM »
Every time  I read Yurina's part, you always put a beautiful wording for her (even if you don't, I always think like that :D) .. Omg, I'm mesmerized! I don't want she thinking about all that what will happens if she don't recover -_-" Wow, Chinami does know Yurina? She seem normal now with all the conversation.

Quote from: FeverInducedMadness
“So, she’s the reason why Miyabi’s such a bitch.”

Lol.

Urgh, it's nearly there!

Omg, the chapter ends! -_-"

Jab <3 marimari <3 ChrNo~ your spirit shall live forever.. T_T || zgy@last.fm

Offline ferrar1

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Eight -- When Fate Caught Up to Us]
« Reply #63 on: April 16, 2007, 06:10:54 AM »
One of the best berryz fics out there. Nice character portrayal, and an interesting storyline that keeps me reading.

I guess Saki was one of the better dancers of the troupe but she quit to take care of Chinami and Miya is angry at her for quitting her dreams?

4th Pic of Eri courtesy of t-motion's gallery ~ Sangokushi Taisen anyone ? http://sangokutaisen.blogspot.com/ ~ Lame attempt at a personal blog ~

Offline lil_hamz

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Eight -- When Fate Caught Up to Us]
« Reply #64 on: April 16, 2007, 03:21:32 PM »
Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh so Miya's so erm.... hard to get along (I shall not use the other suitable word  :lol:) is cuz of Saki? Wow didn't expect that. So they are one pairing, Chi/Yurina, maybe Momo/Maasa. That leaves Risako/Maiha?  :glasses:
I think your writing skills are awesome, I can feel every character. If only this was a real production with the Berryz acting *dreams*  :sleep:

Offline Amarghetta

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Eight -- When Fate Caught Up to Us]
« Reply #65 on: April 16, 2007, 06:36:48 PM »
You've been very busy lately, it seems. I'm liking how the story progresses, although I don't really know where it's going. It's all interesting, mostly because of the setting.

Keep it coming, I bet it's bound to get better.

Offline FeverInducedMadness

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Eight -- When Fate Caught Up to Us]
« Reply #66 on: April 17, 2007, 02:59:51 AM »
Jeez, you are fast! ChinamixYurina is (young, so young) <3

XD Only because I have competition. And a mad case of writer's block for the other. ><
And in this story, they aren't that young. lol (Well, that's kind of implied, I guess, since I doubt Momoko at her age now would be living on her own. XD)

Aha! Saki/Miyabi! Risako thinks that Saki's the reason Miyabi's so bitchy now? Ooooh how interesting. XD I have a few inklings why that is so (I watch too many of this kind of anime and dramas ^^;) but I won't spoil it for the rest. XD

Yurina and Chinami make such a cute pair. I think Yurina's music has a kind of a healing, or at least a calming effect on Chinami. It should be cool when they finally get to really know each other.

Now I wonder what Miyabi's going to do to Saki. XD *hopes for pairing-ness eventually* XD

Lol. Risako knows it.

Mhm. Chinami can seem to only speak normally around Yurina and her music now. Not even poor Captain can have a conversation with her much anymore. ;-;

Well... you'll find out in a minute... heh...

First off, You almost killed me...
This is by far one of my fav. chapters by far!
I of course love all of your chapters and stories but this one in particular just building up the tension and anticipation!
I can not wait for the 9th chapter >w<

2nd of all, Haha, poor, poor slave of mine!
You can't beat me when it comes to updating, I am the queen of chapter related updates BUAHAHAA!!
I bet you haven't written out Chapter 9 yet did you?
fufufufufu, silly slave I HAVE AN ARSENAL OF CHAPTERS JUST WAITING TO BE POSTED KUKUKUKUKU!!!!
*in the best clint eastwood voice i can impersonate* I dare you to challenge me, come on make my day XDXDXD

Now time to quote your lovely chapter!

;+; Poor Yurina!! *hugs kumakuma* >w<

*Sigh* ChiiXYuri wuv is sure gonna be hard with their situation...>w<
It almost feels like Romeo and Juliet when they first met...I just hope they don't end in a tragic way like Romeo and Juliet >_O

OMG I almost died laughing!! XDXDXDXD
My slave, I love your sense of humor haha
You brought me to tears, my sides hurt now ah~

=O
This is exactly why I can't wait for your next chapter, the anticipation is making me kinda want to ditch school just so I can see if you updated or not >w<
I wanna know what happens!!
Hmm, I also wonder...
What will happen if Maiha met Momoko...
I do wonder what goes on in that imaginative head of yours >_>

Well, isn't Miyabi quite the stuck up >_>
You best make the next chapter good to make her into such a...female dog..(Refraining from using bad words, not very cute XD)
Because Miyabi is one of my fav. Berryz Member so you better have good reason!! *twirls around my crowbar in a threatening manner* O_O

Wow, Captain took Maasa's advice wow XD
But...This just tore me up and made me squeel like a silly little fangirl
I wonder, I wonder what captain and miya will do
A part of me says Captain will run away but another part says they'll probably argue =T
*sigh* I guess I'll have to sit put and wait =+=''

This is the longest comment I have ever done..
Appreciate it you nincompoop!

P.S. I will be updating very early, perhaps around 4:30 a.m. when I wake up for school, assuming my internet won't die and if it does die I'll double post again!!
TAKE THAT MY SLAVE FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFU!!!  :hiakhiakhiak: :hiakhiakhiak:

Until then I bid adeu  :byebye:

Lol. Well I'll try to hold back. I wouldn't want ya dead, master. <3
And after you read the 9th chapter, you might not want it anymore... XD

Mrr... I'm going to try... really hard... ><;; You'll probably pass me in chapter numbers pretty soon, though.

She's got good reasons to be worried...

Erm... well... ^_^

XD I have a mad urge to draw her like that. I almost did.

Lol I go to school too, you know.
I only update in the mornings if I've written a chapter at night and didn't have enough time to post it.
Haha, Maiha's a troublemaker. You definitely haven't seen the last of her. <3
If only you knew what went on in this head... XDDD

Well... I probably would be too, were I in her situation.
Mrr... Well, I wouldn't call this next chapter... good... lol
I love Miya-chan, too. <3 But I can't really rate the Berryz against each other. It's too hard. I don't have a top favorite. ><

Lol. Maasa's... persistent.
You're about to find out what happens, though...

Very much appreciated. I did a little happy dance. :3

Mrr... I'll never get another chapter out tonight. XDDD

I feel the urge to illustrate some scenes manga-style XD

-can't wait for the Captain x Miyabi scene -

And shit, I missed a wedge xD Oh well, my wedges are often one in ten xD

If you do, I might do a little fangirl scream and hug you and love you forever. :3

It's a-comin'. :D

XD Hopefully you'll get another one in sometime. I try to wait if I can.

Every time  I read Yurina's part, you always put a beautiful wording for her (even if you don't, I always think like that :D) .. Omg, I'm mesmerized! I don't want she thinking about all that what will happens if she don't recover -_-" Wow, Chinami does know Yurina? She seem normal now with all the conversation.

Lol.

Urgh, it's nearly there!

Omg, the chapter ends! -_-"

:3 Yurina's the more elegant one out of the bunch.
And yeah, Chinami gets... well... seminormal around Yurina.

Well, don't despair, I'm about to post a new one! :3

One of the best berryz fics out there. Nice character portrayal, and an interesting storyline that keeps me reading.

I guess Saki was one of the better dancers of the troupe but she quit to take care of Chinami and Miya is angry at her for quitting her dreams?

Aww, thank you so much... That means a lot to hear. ;-;

Yeah, a little somethin' like that.

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh so Miya's so erm.... hard to get along (I shall not use the other suitable word  :lol:) is cuz of Saki? Wow didn't expect that. So they are one pairing, Chi/Yurina, maybe Momo/Maasa. That leaves Risako/Maiha?  :glasses:
I think your writing skills are awesome, I can feel every character. If only this was a real production with the Berryz acting *dreams*  :sleep:

XDDD Yeah.
Haha, I'm not sayin' anything about that last pairing, though. -sneaky-
-sniffle- Thanks... I don't think I'm that great, so that's very encouraging. And yeah... if this was real... that'd be so awesome... -fangirlsigh-

You've been very busy lately, it seems. I'm liking how the story progresses, although I don't really know where it's going. It's all interesting, mostly because of the setting.

Keep it coming, I bet it's bound to get better.

Aye aye! Next chapter as soon as I'm done posting this!


(Thank you all so much for these comments.
I cried a little bit [I know, I'm stupid.] while I was reading them, because these are some of the nicest things I've ever read.
Stuff like this makes me want to keep writing. :3)
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Offline FeverInducedMadness

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Eight -- When Fate Caught Up to Us]
« Reply #67 on: April 17, 2007, 03:06:30 AM »
This chapter's kind of short.
But hopefully you'll want more after reading it. XD
[AND I ALMOST JUST DIED BECAUSE MY CONNECTION CUT OUT FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS HERE! -spazz-]

[Chapter Nine: Dance With Me]

“What do you mean she’s the… well, you know.” I proceeded to give my cousin a light smack on the shoulder. “Don’t use such language, Risako. You’re too young and it’s not adorable.” Only I could call Natsuyaki that, and even then, it was only in my mind.

She looked indignant at that and she crossed her arms, giving me her most ferocious look. You know those cute little teddy bears that everyone just wants to hug? Yeah, it was kind of like that.

“I’m not that young.” At that moment, she took a deep breath, and I really was beginning to regret bringing up her age. You see… Risako loved to respond to something like this in a annoying little singsong voice, and it would go like:

“♪I am sixteen, going on-♪”

Maasa clapped a hand over her mouth, very irked at this point. Between the two of us, my cousin and I could be a bit much for just one person to handle…

“-Seventeen, yes, now if you’re done, could we get back to the important stuff? Like how Chinami is wandering the streets alone, and we need to go and tell Saki like, now? And for everything else… I suggest you ask Saki herself about it rather than finding it out from this kid.”

Whatever frustrated reply Risako was trying to voice was muffled behind the taller girl’s hand, but I’m pretty sure it was something like ‘I’m not a kid’. But I didn’t care at that point. Maasa was right. We didn’t need to be wasting time there debating my cousin’s age.

“Okay, then you’ll have to lead the way.”

-----------

I’m doing this for Chinami.

There isn’t any other way, just like Maasa pointed out.

We can’t rely on everybody else forever.

It’s not because of me. It’s not because I’ve needed this.


At least, these were the things that Saki was trying to convince herself of while she danced for the crowd. The first three she had drilled into her head, but the latter two… She was having the time of her life for the first time in a long time, and she was realizing just how much she had missed that exhilarating feeling… It was wonderful.

The moves were unplanned, and for the most part she was just doing every and anything that came to mind. But the crowd was eating it up, and she had already earned quite a bit during the short amount of time that she had been there. When she finally stopped after a little while, they were cheering like crazy, and she couldn’t help but crack a smile as they started shouting for more.

And she hadn’t even broken a sweat yet.

So it was time to interact with the audience. A good performer always did, and back when… when she had been a part of all of that, no one could top her at keeping the crowd interested. They hadn’t needed emcee’s back then. They had Saki.

“Alright, alright, I’ve got an idea!” She shouted over the din, and the people quieted down a bit so they could hear what the small girl had to say. “Who wants to get up here and dance with me?”

This seemed to excite the crowd, and everyone was pushing to try and volunteer. But only one voice reached Saki’s ears.

“I’ll do it.”

It was a voice that she had not heard in a very long time, though it was tainted by a bitter sort of tone. The voice’s owner stepped up onto the makeshift stage, and the dancer felt her throat get very, very dry.

She couldn’t read what was there in Miyabi’s blank eyes, and that sent a shiver down her spine. This could not be good. The other girl said nothing to her, however, and seemed to be waiting for Saki to start.

The first step. The prodigy mirrored it with one of her own.

Another. Still, they were in sync.

It had always been like that. Though Miyabi was not quite up to Saki’s caliber of dancing, she was the only one who could keep up.

Throwing caution to the wind, the smaller female really began to move, throwing herself into another rhythm that the audience could not hear. But the other girl knew her much too well, and followed the dancer with little trouble at all. The crowd was watching them in a sort of stunned silence, as if they didn’t know whether or not to cheer at the display of talent before them.

And then things started to really heat up.
They were moving faster, more furiously, until the unknown rhythm stopped and they were within inches of each other, yet just not close enough to touch. Though the smaller girl wanted so very badly to just collapse against the other right then and there. Saki was panting heavily as she looked up into Miyabi’s eyes.

Those very, very angry eyes.

Say something to me, anything… please. Scream at me for being so stupid… for disappearing… for being here under your nose the whole time… for showing up here and now without any warning at all… anything… just speak to me…

And then the rug was pulled right out from underneath her. Miyabi merely turned around at that point and began to walk away, sliding past the bewildered members of the crowd with ease.

Not a single word.

Not even one last backwards glance.

Nothing had ever hurt so much before. At this point, she felt as though she could have been run down with a bulldozer and even that wouldn’t be able to compare.

The crowd had started to disperse, figuring out that the show was over for the day. But she didn’t care. She barely even noticed when she was all alone again, standing there on that wooden stage.

It’s so cold outside today…

------------

(And look, I even drew a picture of this one!)
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Offline Estrea

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Nine -- Dance With Me]
« Reply #68 on: April 17, 2007, 03:13:41 AM »
Oh GAAAAAAAAAH. *tears hair out*

Omg, Saki has to make up with Miyabi immediately. Because it's better for both of them. But I know you won't let them do anything for now, because I know well enough that you would probably be evil enough to prolong their angst. I know I would if I were in your position. :P

Now I can't wait to see what's next. XD

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Loser87

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Nine -- Dance With Me]
« Reply #69 on: April 17, 2007, 03:19:21 AM »
;_;....

That just mauled my heart around like a rabies infested dog...

Oh gosh, That was so worth the reading >_<
I <33 YOU!!

Even if you're my slave >_>
*kicks your shins just for the sake of our Master-slave relationship*

QUOTES!!

Quote
“Don’t use such language, Risako. You’re too young and it’s not adorable.” Only I could call Natsuyaki that, and even then, it was only in my mind.
XDXDXD Hahaha XDXDXD

Quote
“♪I am sixteen, going on-♪”

Maasa clapped a hand over her mouth, very irked at this point. Between the two of us, my cousin and I could be a bit much for just one person to handle…

“-Seventeen, yes, now if you’re done, could we get back to the important stuff? Like how Chinami is wandering the streets alone, and we need to go and tell Saki like, now? And for everything else… I suggest you ask Saki herself about it rather than finding it out from this kid.”

Ah, So they are older in this story so that would make Momoko and Saki 19 and the others 18, and Yurina 17 ne?

Quote
“I’ll do it.”

It was a voice that she had not heard in a very long time, though it was tainted by a bitter sort of tone. The voice’s owner stepped up onto the makeshift stage, and the dancer felt her throat get very, very dry.

She couldn’t read what was there in Miyabi’s blank eyes, and that sent a shiver down her spine. This could not be good. The other girl said nothing to her, however, and seemed to be waiting for Saki to start

Outch, Outch, Outch...;+;

Quote
Though the smaller girl wanted so very badly to just collapse against the other right then and there. Saki was panting heavily as she looked up into Miyabi’s eyes.

Those very, very angry eyes.

Say something to me, anything… please. Scream at me for being so stupid… for disappearing… for being here under your nose the whole time… for showing up here and now without any warning at all… anything… just speak to me…

And then the rug was pulled right out from underneath her. Miyabi merely turned around at that point and began to walk away, sliding past the bewildered members of the crowd with ease.

Not a single word.

Not even one last backwards glance.

Nothing had ever hurt so much before. At this point, she felt as though she could have been run down with a bulldozer and even that wouldn’t be able to compare.

The crowd had started to disperse, figuring out that the show was over for the day. But she didn’t care. She barely even noticed when she was all alone again, standing there on that wooden stage.

It’s so cold outside today…
That just did it for me
Like, wow...
I am at a loss for words
Just wow

;+;
One day, maybe perhaps you'll surpass me in updating MAYBE
You have a long way to go in the art of updating young grasshopper!

BUAHAHA!!
;+;
My heart feels mushy and pully thanks to this but it was worth it..
NOW GET BACK TO SLAVING YOU NINCOMPOOP!! YAH!! *Cracks Whip*

Offline Yuuyami

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Nine -- Dance With Me]
« Reply #70 on: April 17, 2007, 03:29:00 AM »
Ah ha, so Saki did hurt Miyabi in the past to the extent of Miyabi gaining a bitchy persona xD Guessing Saki's feeling really guilty because of it. Aww :< -hugs-

As for the manga thing, I might only do it in scenes I think are perfect to draw rather than entire chapters xD So don't expect much from me xD! Here and there, I might do splash images too xD!

-pats your hardhat to make sure it's working great-

Offline ziggurat

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Nine -- Dance With Me]
« Reply #71 on: April 17, 2007, 05:28:24 AM »
Quote from: FeverInducedMadness
“♪I am sixteen, going on-♪”

Hehe, Risako.

Quote
I’m doing this for Chinami.

There isn’t any other way, just like Maasa pointed out.

We can’t rely on everybody else forever.

Captain, ganbare!

Quote
They hadn’t needed emcee’s back then. They had Saki.

@_@ , that is the Little Captain @_@

Quote
“I’ll do it.”

OMG!

Quote
Those very, very angry eyes.

...

Quote
Nothing had ever hurt so much before. At this point, she felt as though she could have been run down with a bulldozer and even that wouldn’t be able to compare.

Damn.. It hurt so much.. Urgh, my heart..

Hmm, what can I say. This chapter is really melancholic.
Thanks for the fast update.. I really can't keep up with both of you and loser87 fics, lol..

EDIT - Urghh, forgot to comment about your drawing... It's cute and awesome!
« Last Edit: April 17, 2007, 05:46:01 AM by ziggurat »

Jab <3 marimari <3 ChrNo~ your spirit shall live forever.. T_T || zgy@last.fm

Offline FeverInducedMadness

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Nine -- Dance With Me]
« Reply #72 on: April 17, 2007, 10:33:24 PM »
Oh GAAAAAAAAAH. *tears hair out*

Omg, Saki has to make up with Miyabi immediately. Because it's better for both of them. But I know you won't let them do anything for now, because I know well enough that you would probably be evil enough to prolong their angst. I know I would if I were in your position. :P

Now I can't wait to see what's next. XD

XDD

Oh yes, I am that evil. There won't be a resolution anytime soon, I'm pretty sure.

I promise, this chapter is better. :3
Well... sort of. haha

;_;....

That just mauled my heart around like a rabies infested dog...

Oh gosh, That was so worth the reading >_<
I <33 YOU!!

Even if you're my slave >_>
*kicks your shins just for the sake of our Master-slave relationship*

QUOTES!!
XDXDXD Hahaha XDXDXD

Ah, So they are older in this story so that would make Momoko and Saki 19 and the others 18, and Yurina 17 ne?

Outch, Outch, Outch...;+;
That just did it for me
Like, wow...
I am at a loss for words
Just wow

;+;
One day, maybe perhaps you'll surpass me in updating MAYBE
You have a long way to go in the art of updating young grasshopper!

BUAHAHA!!
;+;
My heart feels mushy and pully thanks to this but it was worth it..
NOW GET BACK TO SLAVING YOU NINCOMPOOP!! YAH!! *Cracks Whip*

Ouch, my shins... <33 Thank you, master.

Yup, those are the ages. Good job.

XDD I'm workin', I'm workin', I promise. -flees the whip-

Ah ha, so Saki did hurt Miyabi in the past to the extent of Miyabi gaining a bitchy persona xD Guessing Saki's feeling really guilty because of it. Aww :< -hugs-

As for the manga thing, I might only do it in scenes I think are perfect to draw rather than entire chapters xD So don't expect much from me xD! Here and there, I might do splash images too xD!

-pats your hardhat to make sure it's working great-

Mhm, the poor thing. It's all really more or less a matter of miscommunication, though.

Sweeet! <3

It seems to be doing fine for this story. Now only if it'd work for the other... ._.

Hehe, Risako.

Captain, ganbare!

@_@ , that is the Little Captain @_@

OMG!

...

Damn.. It hurt so much.. Urgh, my heart..

Hmm, what can I say. This chapter is really melancholic.
Thanks for the fast update.. I really can't keep up with both of you and loser87 fics, lol..

EDIT - Urghh, forgot to comment about your drawing... It's cute and awesome!

XDD I couldn't resist. I've been wanting to do that for a while.

Yeah, that chapter was a bit more intense. This one should be much more lighthearted.

And thanks about my drawing. :3 Ignore the crappy bg, though, I have no idea what I was doing there.

(Update coming soon. Just need to edit the chapter a bit.)
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Offline FeverInducedMadness

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Nine -- Dance With Me]
« Reply #73 on: April 17, 2007, 11:06:50 PM »
Gah... I'm so depressed right now...  :(
Enjoy this, though.

[Chapter Ten – Disaster Strikes Again]

When the three of us had finally made it to where Saki was supposed to be, the makeshift stage had been deserted. Maasa was very much concerned, and it was kind of amusing to watch her as she paced around on the stage like a little lost puppy looking for its mom.

“I don’t understand… there was like a freakin’ mass of people here just a few minutes ago… Why would she leave?”

I didn’t really know why she was so worried. Though she was small like me, Saki seemed like the kind of girl who’d be perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Especially since I got the feeling she had been doing it for a long time already anyway. Risako was looking worried too, though, and I felt a little bit left out not knowing what all of the history behind everything was.

But then I sadly reminded myself that this was not my home anyway.

I am an outsider. And this is temporary.

Just as I turned around to try and see if perhaps Saki was nearby somewhere, I came face-to-face with the most annoying person that I had yet to meet. She was grinning in a devious sort of way, and was very much all up in my personal space. Again, as I have told you before, I am not fond of other people touching me, and thus I didn’t quite know how to react at first.

Because I was stunned, the girl only grinned wider and slid her arm around my waist, closing the gap between us.

And when she began to talk, she wasveryclosetomyfaceandIdidn’tknowwhattodo.

“Hey there, gorgeous. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here. Which means that you’ve been missing out on the greatness that is Ishimura Maiha.”

“MAIHA, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!”

The reply to that came from both Maasa and Risako, and both the girl who was holding me (I was flustered at the time, so I didn’t really notice it at first, but her hands were wandering a bit too low for my comfort.) and I turned to look at them, confused.

And then the girl immediately let go of me… in order to slide right over to my cousin who was looking pretty livid at the moment. I was still a little dazed, so it was all pretty hard to follow.

“Haha, at first that was kind of like Maa-chan in stereo. I’ve heard that line so many times, but never like that. What’s goin’ on, Socko? Been missin’ me?”

“If by miss, you mean that I’ve been enjoying every moment that I don’t have to see your face, then yeah.”

“Ouch, I’ve heard that one before, too. But no big deal, I know how I can make it all up to you.”

Risako halted the girl’s progress towards her by punching the other very hard in the shoulder. Even Maasa seemed to wince a bit, and she barely reacted when I had slapped her earlier. I don’t blame them though. Risako can knock someone out with that right hook of hers when she’s in the right mood.

“The only thing you’ll be doing is going back to wherever you came from and please, stay there this time. Don’t you have these throngs of stupid girls elsewhere that you can flirt with?”

Maiha had backed off at this point, and was rubbing her shoulder tenderly. Looking at things optimistically, I figured she’d get off with just having a bruise there. It could have been worse.

“Jealous, Socko? I can get anyone I want, you know. But anyway, I heard that someone was doin’ some crazy-awesome dancing down here and I decided to investigate cuz… um… well... ah, this friend of mine can dance really good and so I thought maybe it was her, and then… I got here and well, well, lucky me, I found something better.”

Maasa climbed down from the stage, and she was standing in the position that I had come to associate with her: arms crossed, shoulders back, and she was wearing that annoyed look on her face again.

“They know about Saki, stupid. This girl here-” She gestured to me in a indifferent matter, “-met her yesterday, and I know that Sugaya wasn’t supposed to find out but that happened, too. The secret’s out. All that aside, the last thing I want to do is be around you and your crap right now. Plus, I think you just broke Momoko, idiot. She’s not from around here, and she’s not used to people like you. So don’t touch her again.”

She used my name. From what I had picked up, Maasa didn’t seem to call people by their first name very much. Just Saki. I wasn’t sure what that meant. It was kind of nice that she was scolding the lecherous newcomer for me, though.

“Oh? Is that so? Or is there more to it than that? You sound awfully protective, Maa-chan.”

But Maasa was already walking away, and she didn’t bother to reply to what Maiha had to say. Perhaps it was better that way. I wasn’t sure what it was that I wanted to hear. Good lord, I was going crazy.

Maiha was still wearing that charming grin of hers when she turned back around to face Risako, and before my cousin could do anything about it, the weasel leaned forward to plant a gentle kiss on her cheek before darting back out of reach and away from us. My guess was that she didn’t want to get killed. I was still really confused at this point, so I actually wasn’t that sure.

My cousin seemed stunned, and she touched her face lightly, and for a moment, I thought she smiled maybe just a little bit.

“Um, Risako?”

“Mhm?”

“I think we’re going to be late for dance practice…”

“Oh crap!”

------------

We ran all the way to the theater from that point, and burst through the doors, panting heavily and gasping for air. Surprisingly, however, only a few of the girls (including Natsuyaki) were there, and I didn’t see Takahashi-san anywhere.

“Is she late…?”

“No, Takahashi-san is never late. For anything. In fact, her definition of “on time” is actually “early”, so her “late” would be “on time.” This hasn’t ever happened before…”

At that moment, the girl named Umeda flew into the room behind us, and she had a panicked expression on her face.

“Everybody, I’ve got bad news! Takahashi-san’s in the hospital! She got hit by a car!!”
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Loser87

  • Guest
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Ten -- Disaster Strikes Again]
« Reply #74 on: April 17, 2007, 11:23:59 PM »
...Oh...My...God...
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: you so much right now! >w<

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! FIRST TO COMMENT YES!! BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!

QUOTES!!! YAY!!

Quote
But then I sadly reminded myself that this was not my home anyway.

I am an outsider. And this is temporary

>w<; Poor Momochi!! *hugs the outsider girl that she is..in this story* =+='

Quote
She was grinning in a devious sort of way, and was very much all up in my personal space. Again, as I have told you before, I am not fond of other people touching me, and thus I didn’t quite know how to react at first.

Because I was stunned, the girl only grinned wider and slid her arm around my waist, closing the gap between us.

And when she began to talk, she wasveryclosetomyfaceandIdidn’tknowwhattodo.

“Hey there, gorgeous. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here. Which means that you’ve been missing out on the greatness that is Ishimura Maiha.”

I love Maiha that's all, no other words can express it just, I love Maiha XDXD

Quote
“MAIHA, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!”

The reply to that came from both Maasa and Risako, and both the girl who was holding me (I was flustered at the time, so I didn’t really notice it at first, but her hands were wandering a bit too low for my comfort.) and I turned to look at them, confused.

Woah, I didn't expect Risako to say it too XDXD

Quote
“If by miss, you mean that I’ve been enjoying every moment that I don’t have to see your face, then yeah.”

“Ouch, I’ve heard that one before, too. But no big deal, I know how I can make it all up to you.”

Sarcasm..I love sarcasm *-*

Quote
“They know about Saki, stupid. This girl here-” She gestured to me in a indifferent matter, “-met her yesterday, and I know that Sugaya wasn’t supposed to find out but that happened, too. The secret’s out. All that aside, the last thing I want to do is be around you and your crap right now. Plus, I think you just broke Momoko, idiot. She’s not from around here, and she’s not used to people like you. So don’t touch her again.”

She used my name. From what I had picked up, Maasa didn’t seem to call people by their first name very much. Just Saki. I wasn’t sure what that meant. It was kind of nice that she was scolding the lecherous newcomer for me, though.

“Oh? Is that so? Or is there more to it than that? You sound awfully protective, Maa-chan.”

Well, ain't that quite the cute lovey dovey atmosphere ;3

Quote
Maiha was still wearing that charming grin of hers when she turned back around to face Risako, and before my cousin could do anything about it, the weasel leaned forward to plant a gentle kiss on her cheek before darting back out of reach and away from us. My guess was that she didn’t want to get killed. I was still really confused at this point, so I actually wasn’t that sure.

My cousin seemed stunned, and she touched her face lightly, and for a moment, I thought she smiled maybe just a little bit.
The two rabbits had/have a fling do they?
<333
Please oh please more XD

Quote
“Everybody, I’ve got bad news! Takahashi-san’s in the hospital! She got hit by a car!!”

......XDXDXDXDXDXDXD Oh jesus on a cracker, I laughed hard and I don't know why XDXDXDXD

All in all, I love it
I love the sudden change in atmosphere from chapter 9's to chapter 10's
You rock mah socks yo~

*kicks you again, for the sake of our master-slave relationship*
Update O_O
O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O
Update~

 :heart: :heart: :heart:
« Last Edit: April 17, 2007, 11:25:53 PM by Loser87 »

Offline Yuuyami

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  • Prance. Do it. Now. N.O.W.
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Ten -- Disaster Strikes Again]
« Reply #75 on: April 18, 2007, 12:39:30 AM »
I freaking love Maiha. xD Miki Jr.! xD

OHNOOHNOOHNOOHNO AAAAAIIII ;_______;!!!! I wonder who her replacement teacher will be. o_o

Loser87! You're not supposed stare in massive quantity! It's quality!

O_O...

Offline Estrea

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Ten -- Disaster Strikes Again]
« Reply #76 on: April 18, 2007, 01:03:56 AM »
Maiha!!! XD I love shameless flirts. XD

o_O You let Ai get hit by a car. o_o;;;; WHY?! -shakes you-

Now write faster!!

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline FeverInducedMadness

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  • Member+
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  • Ai wo kudasai...
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Ten -- Disaster Strikes Again]
« Reply #77 on: April 18, 2007, 01:58:49 AM »
The two rabbits had/have a fling do they?
<333
Please oh please more XD

......XDXDXDXDXDXDXD Oh jesus on a cracker, I laughed hard and I don't know why XDXDXDXD

All in all, I love it
I love the sudden change in atmosphere from chapter 9's to chapter 10's
You rock mah socks yo~

*kicks you again, for the sake of our master-slave relationship*
Update O_O
O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O O_O
Update~

 :heart: :heart: :heart:

Maaaaaaaaaybe. XDDD

You're probably going to laugh harder during the next chapter.

Sweet, I love socks. -nibbles on-

You bruise me, and yet... <3

Updating in a few minutes, master...

I freaking love Maiha. xD Miki Jr.! xD

OHNOOHNOOHNOOHNO AAAAAIIII ;_______;!!!! I wonder who her replacement teacher will be. o_o

Loser87! You're not supposed stare in massive quantity! It's quality!

O_O...

XDD Following in The Great One's footsteps, she is...

Assuming that there is one...

o_o -shrinks away from the staring face of doom-

Maiha!!! XD I love shameless flirts. XD

o_O You let Ai get hit by a car. o_o;;;; WHY?! -shakes you-

Now write faster!!

She's so very fun to write. Ahah.

For the sake of the plot. <3

XDD 'Kay.
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Offline jafeijai

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Ten -- Disaster Strikes Again]
« Reply #78 on: April 18, 2007, 02:09:42 AM »
[turns off lurker mode and waits patiently for next chapter] :lol:

Edit: ...Wow..Possibly unintentional wedge too :P

[adds comment]
MAIHA THE PIMP STRIKES ONCE MORE!! :lol: I hope you explain what happens to Takahashi in this next chapter ;D
« Last Edit: April 18, 2007, 02:22:20 AM by jafeijai »

Offline FeverInducedMadness

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Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Ten -- Disaster Strikes Again]
« Reply #79 on: April 18, 2007, 02:25:42 AM »
^Yay, another reader! <3 XD You stole Yuuyami's wedge. hahaha

[Chapter Eleven -- It's a Shot in the Dark, But...]

“Everybody, I’ve got bad news! Takahashi-san’s in the hospital! She got hit by a car!!”

The silence in the room was deafening. I know it’s an oxymoron and all, but had you been there with me… you probably wouldn’t have been able to describe it any other way. Nobody dared to move at first, and I could see Risako paling a bit out of the corner of my eye.

Natsuyaki had this incredulous look on her face, as if she was having trouble grasping just what it was that Umeda had said.

“What do you mean, ‘hit by a car’?”

The tall girl bit her lip, and she started to fidget. Like she was uncomfortable with revealing what it was she had to say.

Or maybe she just had to go to the bathroom, I don’t know.

“A-ah, well… the story I was told is actually quite strange… s-see, there was this other woman there… Gaki… Gaki-something. And see, the doctors wouldn’t let her in to see Takahashi-san because she wasn’t family and she was freaking out all over them, and then they went inside the room and shut the doors. So it was just her and me in that hallway, and I asked her what had happened, because I figured maybe she was close to Takahashi-san… and apparently they had been drinking last night, and she… kind of… ran out into the street. The police didn’t find her until this morning… I think she’s going to be okay, but… we can say goodbye to our performance, that much I know.”

Dead silence again. My mind was still trying to process the story, and Risako looked like an alien had landed somewhere in front of us, her eyes wide with disbelief.

And then… Natsuyaki started cracking up. Hard. At first it was just a series of little giggles and then she completely and totally lost it, erupting into a fit of cackles and mad laughter. She even dropped to the floor at one point, clutching her sides as she continued with her hysterics.

…I failed to see what was so funny.

“What is wrong with you?! Takahashi-san is in the hospital! She could have died! And even though she’s going to be alright, our show is ruined without her!”

Risako was furious, and again, that indignant little teddy bear look had crept up onto her face. She was standing over Natsuyaki now, her hands balled up into fists at her sides, and I wondered if maybe she would kick the other girl. Now that would have made me laugh.

“She- drunk- hit by a car-” That was all I managed to decipher between Natsuyaki’s little episode, as she was still laughing uncontrollably. The more I thought about what happened, the more I was starting to see the hilarity in it.

Picturing a smashed Takahashi-san…

I giggled a little bit just then, earning a deadly glare from Risako. It was enough to shut me up, but still… I would laugh about it later, at least. If Natsuyaki and I had one thing in common, it was a strange sense of humor.

“Alright, so… we’re out then.” There were three other girls within the troupe that from the start I had considered to be… well… less-than-enthusiastic about the theatre. They hadn’t really pulled their weight at all yesterday, and were slow about getting started. And now…

“Out…? What’s that supposed to mean?” This was beginning to be a bit more than Risako could handle.

“You know we’re only here because we have to be. You and Miyabi-chan are the stars of it all, anyway. You don’t really need us. So… we’re out.”

The three of them then exited the building, brushing past Umeda, who looked like maybe she was going to faint or throw up or both all at the same time.

“W-what do we do now?”

The question hung in the air, and it didn’t seem as though it was going to be answered anytime soon. Risako continued to stare at the door after the girls had left. And although Natsuyaki had sobered up by this point, she was sitting up grimly on the floor.

I could only imagine what they were thinking. It was upsetting. Their teacher was out-of-commission, half of their troupe was now gone… and the performance they had been looking forward to… well, it probably wasn’t going to happen.

Um… hell no.

I didn’t come out all this way to participate in something only to have it disappear like this. Even if I had been tricked into it. That old flame inside of me had been rekindled, and it was burning so hot that I refused to let this go.

“We keep going. We practice hard for nine more days and then we give the people in this city a show they’ll never forget.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Naturally, Natsuyaki would be the one to oppose me. “Our routines were written for a group of seven, not four.”

“Then we’ll make up new ones.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. They won’t work for the songs we’ve got anymore.”

“Then we’ll get new songs, too.”

“Now I KNOW you’re crazy. None of us write music or play instruments. And we don’t have the money to go out and buy the rights to anyone else’s stuff. So yeah, you’re crazy.”

No. I’m a genius. I promise. Risako’s not the only one in our family that is. I turned to her, this great plan carrying itself out in my mind.

“Yurina writes her own songs, right? Lyrics and music, right?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Do you think she could write some stuff for the theatre before the performance? And perhaps play for it as well?”

“It’s possible, but… Momo-chan, I don’t feel comfortable asking so much of her.”

I grinned and walked over to Risako, putting my hands on her shoulders so that I was… well, somewhat level with her.

“She’ll be cooped up in that house all day for a while. And yesterday when we went to see her, already I could tell that she was tired of it. I have a feeling that she’d jump at this chance, Risako. And if she doesn’t, all she has to say is no. We can find another way if that happens.”

A slow smile started to spread across her lips.

“Momo-chan…”

I patted her shoulders, and then turned around to face the other two that were still in the room. Natsuyaki was frowning at us, and she had her arms crossed in front of her in a way that reminded me of Maasa. But Umeda, at least, seemed slightly hopeful.

“I-I’m up for this… I think that Takahashi-san would want us to do this…”

I turned to our resident evil girl.

“And what about you?”

She was regarding me now with a look that wasn’t as bitter as it had been last night. There was something like curiousity there… and perhaps maybe… just maybe… I had impressed her a little bit, and earned some of her respect.

“…I still don’t like or trust you… but this… this place right here… it’s all I have left to believe in. So count me in, too.”

I breathed an inward sigh of relief, while Risako went ahead and did it out loud behind me anyway. Everything was going to be okay, I told myself. It just had to be. I don’t know what I was trying to prove, or to whom I was trying to prove it. But I knew one thing for sure:

The show must go on.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2007, 02:26:45 AM by FeverInducedMadness »
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

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