This is the only part that lines up exactly with its Yoshizawa counterpart!
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7.5-II
You didn't say a word during the entire taxi ride. You just stared straight forward, as though the back of the driver's head had the answers you were looking for.
I stared out the window and tried to calm down. I mean, I really didn't have much reason to be angry. We'd never discussed what "we" were. I'd assumed that having sex meant exclusivity, but I'd never brought it up and honestly, how naive was that assumption nowadays?
"Can I get you something?" you asked as I walked into your living room. "Tea? Water?"
"Vodka on the rocks," I replied, only half joking. I sat down and leaned against the back of your couch, wondering if you'd found the panties I'd left between the cushions or if they were still there.
"Sorry, fresh out. How about a Sex on the Beach?" I gave a half-hearted laugh and looked around the living room.
Although I'd been here a few times before, I'd never really paid attention. I was usually far to distracted by the whole naked Yoshizawa thing. I picked up the only photograph I'd ever seen in your apartment. I wondered if it was of Maki, but it was just a cute photo of you, your parents, and your brothers next to a giant snowman.
"That's from when I visited my family over our winter holiday," you said, sitting down next to me. Did you notice your leg touching mine? Normally, I'd have relished in this prelude to your touch, but right now... even your inadvertent touch scorched me. I smiled at the photo and leaned over to place it back on the end table. I carefully avoided your touch as I settled back down.
"So..." I said casually. "Exactly how many people are you 'dating' right now?"
"What?"
"I always thought that 'Pimp Yoshizawa' thing was just a joke!" My laugh rang in my ears. I studied my hands carefully.
"Miki!"
"Don't get the wrong idea!" My laugh sounded hollow even to me. "I just need to know who else - "
"There's no one else!" you exclaimed, cutting me off.
"So it's just me and Maki?" I asked, avoiding your stare.
"WHAT!?" you exploded, jumping to your feet. I recoiled a bit in surprise.
"Don't be so excitable! I told you it's fine," I lied. "Though I am kind of wondering who's better..." I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. I felt sick at the thought of you and Maki together, here... I felt like screaming... I felt...
"Maki and I broke up three years ago."
...horrible. Three years ago!? You couldn't even remember me back then. You were so weird back then, didn't even care anymore, like, like... oh... OH! Oh, geez. Everything made sense now.
You turned away from me and stared out your window. "We hooked up shortly after I joined and broke up a few months before she graduated," you said quietly. I silently came up behind you and wrapped my arms around your waist. I suddenly realized how tiny you really were. Even though we were around the same size, I felt like I could break you. You normally seemed so confident, powerful, strong... not fragile like this.
"Yossi, I..." I trailed off as you entwined your fingers with mine.
"Makoto walked in on us kissing shortly after she joined the group," you continued, still staring out the window. "I'm guessing that's why she assumed you were Maki."
"I'm sorry," I replied. "I misunderstood. You don't have to talk about this."
"No, I needed to tell you sooner or later..."
You let me lead you back to the couch and pull you down so you were laying with your head on my lap. You closed your eyes as I absentmindedly played with your hair. Your voice was calm and steady, but your face exposed the pain beneath the surface.
Remembering that now, I'm again certain I've done the right thing, I never want to see that again, but... I know what I did was right, but... why won't you return my phone calls? Why haven't you replied to any of my messages? ...why am I so nervous about seeing you again?
Ok, calm down, Miki. Yossi's been busy. With the whole play thing and such. I'm sure it's a coincidence. ...or maybe she's trapped herself in a closet again and needs help escaping. Either way! It'll be fine.
Right. Ok, where was I? I almost lost my train of thought there for a second.
"Poor Mako," you continued. "She's the one who told me Maki was graduating. She had overheard some staff members talking about it and came over to ask me if I knew when it was exactly. When I asked Maki about it, she admitted she had found out over a month ago."
"And didn't bother telling you? Sounds like it wouldn't have worked out anyway," I replied without thinking. You smiled.
"I love how you just say what you're thinking," you murmured. I LOVE HOW YOU EVERYTHING, my brain screamed in reply.
"Then you'll love this," I said, internally telling my brain to shut up. "Did you have sex?" I wasn't really sure if I wanted the answer to that. On one hand, I wanted to know, but on the other, I didn't want to think about you with anyone else.
Ugh, you make me want to punch myself for being so cheesy.
"We talked about it, but weren't ready yet," you replied.
"Were you in love with her?" Are you in love with me?
"No," you replied firmly. "But..." you sighed. "I guess I was in the process of falling in love at the time." Why did I ask that? I don't want to know about that! I needed a topic change.
"...wait, if you didn't sleep with Maki, then who was your first?" I blurted out. "Was it Ishikawa?"
"What!?" you started laughing.
"Hmmm... Makoto?"
"Only in her daydreams," you muttered. I started laughing at how guilty you looked when you realized you'd said that out loud.
Think, Miki, Think! Who else is always around Yoshizawa? Who have I seen hanging around her....
"Yaguchi?" I guessed, trying not to laugh at the visual that presented itself in my mind.
"Are you on crack?!" you exclaimed, laughing.
"Is it not a Morning Musume. girl?" I mused. "Ayaka?" You shook your head.
"I've already told you," you sighed. Huh? I thought back to as many of our conversations as I could remember.
"No... I think I'd remember that. Give me a hint at least."
"Miki."
"What?" I sighed. "I want a hint!" You opened your eyes and looked up at me. You smiled softly.
"You don't need one. That was the answer." I swear, the world stopped for a minute under your calm, unflinching gaze. It seemed like I could see straight through your eyes and into your very being. Pain, desire, nervousness, confidence, joy, fear... Then I blinked and the moment was over.
"W-what, seriously?" I said finally. "I thought you were joking when you said I 'stole your innocence'." Wait, if I was her first, then that means she hadn't... DAMN! "Wow." You raised an eyebrow. "I mean, huh... guess you just have a natural talent for that sort of thing," I blinked several times. You burst into laughter.
"Oh really...?" you said, smiling suggestively up at me. I grinned and leaned down to kiss you. "What about you?" you murmured before I could make contact. Shit.
"...hmm?" I said innocently.
"I told you my romantic history, short as it is," you explained with an evil grin. "What about you, O Queen of the Grope?" I made a face at her.
"The groping doesn't count, right?" Because I sure as hell can't remember all of those names. "Are we talking just sex or including making out?"
"Making out included," she said firmly. Geez... Ok! Let's go chronologically!
"You," That was easy. "my friend Miyuki," Ha ha, she was so surprised. "My friend Rei," Rei was really, really into it. I think she's married now, though... "Aya," Aya was so cute the first time. She looked so surprised, I expected a giant "BIKKURI!" sign to pop up over her head. "um..." Crap. Utaban. I avoided your gaze. "Maki," I muttered. "some girl on my concert staff," I added quickly, hoping that the previous name hadn't sunk in yet. Actually, I didn't know how you felt about these people... Maybe I shouldn't linger on the names too much. "Rika, Aya, Ayumi, Masae, Takahashi, Aya, and uh, you," I blurted out. "...oh, Mai's in there somewhere," I remembered suddenly. "and I'm sure I've missed some." You blinked several times.
"You've, uh, been busy," you said at last. I grinned, filling with pride.
"Yeeeeeeeah," I said smugly.
"Aya made, uh, quite a few appearances on that list." And that was only full make-out.
"Yeah, I get bored easily," I replied, taking the opportunity for one of my hands to begin to work its way down your body.
"What about sex?" I grinned.
"Sounds great." You raised an eyebrow. Dammit. "Oh fine." I pulled my hand back and began ticking off my list. "You in the storage closet, you on my couch, you in my bedroom, you in my shower, you on my kitchen table, you on the floor outside your bedroom, you IN your bedroom, you against that wall over there, you in that empty dressing room during Rika's last concert, you in the taxi ride back to my place, you just inside my front door, you in my bedroom again, and, hopefully, you on your couch." I grinned and let my hands illustrate my point.
"I think you forgot a few," you replied. Yeah, like you on my desk chair, you under your kitchen table, you in the locker room after that last Gatas game, you on the Maido Ari set after hours...
"Probably." I shrugged. "Don't care."
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Topic: memoir [The End - 08/15] (Read 122709 times)