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Author Topic: [END] memoir III: memory (I SLAYED THE BEAST!)  (Read 107053 times)

Offline lollipopgirl

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Re: [part 11] memoir III: memory
« Reply #80 on: November 25, 2007, 01:12:27 AM »
Btw, this might be a good time to mention this. Pay attention to how I'm indicating the narrators at the beginning of chapters. Otherwise you might get really confused later on. Yeah.
Oh crap! I suck at telling who the people are  :(

Quote
EDITED BECAUSE I'M RETARDED AND PUT A PIC OF MIKI INSTEAD OF YOSSY. I FAIL AT COPY-PASTE.
Ahhhhhh, now i see why i suck :P I did think it was Maki and thought "wtf, i need to study the girls more", but now i see it was your fault, so its ok  :lol:

"Oh, we knew that, but she left these crazy messages for everyone the other night asking us to send you home if we saw you. She wouldn't tell anyone why, so everyone just figured she'd really done it this time." I shook my head.
Well, that does explain and I guess Miki was just ringing around coz she kinda cheated on her, so I forgive everyone for blaming Miki, coz I just know how much they all care if i forgive them or not  :-\... Oh god I'm talking about the characters like this has actually happened  :dizzy:
Or maybe it has  :mon misch:

XD Yuko makes everything seem less dramatic, what would we all do without the dear old oba-chan!


Btw, do you realise as your writing and trilogy has progressed you have become more evil? Back in the first installment you never made as suffer for long, with a somewhat fast explanation of things... In the 2nd installment, well you were evil by telling us before hand that something terrible will happen and then prolonged us waiting by fattening us up with sweet fluffy goodness :stuffed:... And so far with this one its been, the angst, ohhhhh the angst!  :cry:
And god how I just LOVE your evil ways  :D :luvluv2:
« Last Edit: November 25, 2007, 01:14:00 AM by lollipopgirl »

Offline rndmnwierd

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Re: [part 11] memoir III: memory
« Reply #81 on: November 25, 2007, 02:01:57 AM »

"Oh, didn't you hear? Gocchin's really sick. She almost collapsed when she got offstage in Korea. She's been put on bed rest." My jaw dropped. Nakazawa smirked at my reaction. "What exactly did you two DO that night?" I just shook my head.

"I don't know."


OMG, Yossie has gonorrhea!! xD

WTF NO. XD NO ONE HAS ANY STDs  :lol:


Ruin my fantasy why don't you... Lol.

Offline g4rfield

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Re: [part 11] memoir III: memory
« Reply #82 on: November 25, 2007, 02:08:32 AM »
.................................. Yay  :w00t: more questions, doubts and unexplained incident remained unexplained.

 :banghead:

I'm ready for some happy chapters right about now.

*g4rfield go watch happier times of Yomiki clips on the lappy.

Offline Amarghetta

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Re: [part 11] memoir III: memory
« Reply #83 on: November 25, 2007, 05:41:14 AM »
Btw, do you realise as your writing and trilogy has progressed you have become more evil? Back in the first installment you never made as suffer for long, with a somewhat fast explanation of things... In the 2nd installment, well you were evil by telling us before hand that something terrible will happen and then prolonged us waiting by fattening us up with sweet fluffy goodness. And so far with this one its been, the angst, ohhhhh the angst! 
Oh, that's gotta be OTN1's angsty influx. It pervades every single corner of this forum section now, even the YoMiki one.  :lol:

Not that I'm complaining, that's it. Angst = fun!
« Last Edit: November 25, 2007, 05:43:18 AM by Amarghetta »

Offline JFC

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Re: [part 11] memoir III: memory
« Reply #84 on: November 25, 2007, 07:08:13 AM »
Quote
Yossy: Miki, I've decided. You need to go bang Maki so we're even.
Miki: ...WHAT?
Yossy: I'm serious.
Miki: ....
Yossy: ...and I get to watch.
Miki: LIKE HELL YOU GET TO WATCH!!! :kickass:
Fixed.  :wahaha:



Quote
Miki had just humiliated me in front of basically everyone I'd been working with for the past 7 years. But, that wasn't what was bothering me. What bothered me was that she didn't do more.

She should have ranted at me. She should have mocked me for being hurt by my own actions. But, she didn't. She apologized and ran off. And that upset me more than anything she could have said or done. It was like I'd broken her.
Like I've been saying all along, both Miki and Yossi emotionally NEED a "blow-up" style of conflict between them.  They need to be able to vent all of the crap that they're feeling and that are driving them nuts.  At least then they could assure themselves that they were both then trying to deal with it and that they were still being honest with each other. But this...particularly that last part...this is probably what Yossi fears the most.  Hurting Miki is bad enough, but the possibility that the emotional scars are THIS severe is just devastating.



Quote
"Yossy, what did Miki mean?"

"She was joking, right? She's just messing with us, right?"

"Yoshizawa?"

"Leave her alone." My body immediately tensed up and I stood up very, very straight. Oh, shit.

"But, Yuuchan!" Yaguchi protested.

"I said Leave. Her. Alone," Nakazawa repeated slowly, glaring at the other girls.
Oh crap. The thing about Yuko is that she can be two types of scary. She can be yelling-at-the-top-of-her-lungs scary or eerily-calm/quiet-scary.  Right now she's the latter. Problem with that is...Yuko's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more scary when she's calm compared to when she's loud. 
:scared:



Quote
The others slowly slunk away from me as Nakazawa grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of the room. Shit, shit, shit.

Miki, I love you and I'm sorry, but I think Nakazawa's going to kill me now.
Yossi =



Quote
"So, talk."

"I'm a jackass," I stated bluntly. She shook her head.

"I've known many a jackass in my time, and you're not one of them. What happened?"

"Exactly what Miki said. I got really drunk and slept with my ex."
* JFC ducks to avoid the carnage.



Quote
"I thought Miki had left me for Aya," I said sheepishly. Nakazawa threw her head back and started laughing.

"Why would Matsuura hook up with Fujimoto when she's been half in love with you for the past year?" My jaw dropped.

"How did you...?" I trailed off and shook my head. "Nevermind. You know everything."

"Damn straight."
Shouldn't be too surprised, it IS Yuko-sama after all. :cool1:



Quote
"I don't know. But, in my experience, if I can't figure out what to do, I need to find someone who knows me better than I know myself and ask them." I nodded thoughtfully. I knew just who to ask.
?



Quote
"Well, then, can you tell me why everyone thought Miki cheated on me?" I said finally. "I thought everyone knew that Friday article was fake."

"Oh, we knew that, but she left these crazy messages for everyone the other night asking us to send you home if we saw you. She wouldn't tell anyone why, so everyone just figured she'd really done it this time." I shook my head.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. They thought that she wanted the others to send Yossi home because she wanted to "come clean" so to speak. Naruhodou.



Quote
Wait. If Miki was leaving messages for everyone, then why didn't Maki...
That's right, Miki had been sending those texts during the night BEFORE Maki left for Korea. That means that Maki SHOULD have gotten the message...assuming of course that Miki actually sent it to Maki (who knows, she might have missed sending it to her).  Other than that, the only way that Maki should NOT have gotten that message would be if her phone was off or had a dead battery, or if she had changed her phone and Miki wasn't aware of it and thus didn't get the new number. Now assuming that Maki DID in fact get the message, one would think that she would have replied to Miki and told her that she had found Yossi, but that she was too drunk to get home.  So...IF she got Miki's message, read it, and STILL did not reply to it...then Maki's a dawg. :o



Quote
"Hey, Nakazawa, do you know when Maki's flight gets in? She comes back tomorrow, right?" She looked at me in surprise.
Time to get some answers. :yep:



Quote
"What exactly did you two DO that night?" I just shook my head.

"I don't know."
The fact that she can't remember is a BIG part of the problem.



OMG, Yossie has gonorrhea!! xD
:mon suspect:

...


 :bangchair:
« Last Edit: November 25, 2007, 07:11:54 AM by JFC »

JPH!P :heart:'s Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline shindoushiz

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Re: [part 11] memoir III: memory
« Reply #85 on: November 25, 2007, 09:09:34 PM »
The boss of H!P to the rescue. :wub:  She really is the best senpai ever.  Poor Miki, members thinking badly of her without even knowing the truth.  At least as co-workers and friends, they have to give her the benefit of the doubt. Or just go straight to her to get the truth, take a cute defenceless animal as a dirty way of bargaining if you must since Miki refused to elaborate her message. But to just give up on Miki like that, that's cold.

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Offline adventwriter

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Re: [part 11] memoir III: memory
« Reply #86 on: November 27, 2007, 03:30:25 AM »
Wonderful story, even if it is very angsty    :mon cry:

I've read all the sections of memoir 1, 100% Kataomoi, and now this.

I am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens to Yomiki!  :mon inluv:

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Offline almond

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Re: [part 11] memoir III: memory
« Reply #87 on: November 27, 2007, 10:26:59 PM »
Btw, this might be a good time to mention this. Pay attention to how I'm indicating the narrators at the beginning of chapters. Otherwise you might get really confused later on. Yeah.
Oh crap! I suck at telling who the people are  :(
b-but, I write who the editor is at the beginning. Like "YOSSY" or "MIKI" or "AYA", etc...

Quote
EDITED BECAUSE I'M RETARDED AND PUT A PIC OF MIKI INSTEAD OF YOSSY. I FAIL AT COPY-PASTE.
Ahhhhhh, now i see why i suck :P I did think it was Maki and thought "wtf, i need to study the girls more", but now i see it was your fault, so its ok  :lol:
OH!  :lol:
Well, that does explain and I guess Miki was just ringing around coz she kinda cheated on her, so I forgive everyone for blaming Miki, coz I just know how much they all care if i forgive them or not  :-\... Oh god I'm talking about the characters like this has actually happened  :dizzy:
Yeah, I think I should go into more detail about Miki's crazyass voice mails from that night at some point ^^;

Btw, do you realise as your writing and trilogy has progressed you have become more evil? Back in the first installment you never made as suffer for long, with a somewhat fast explanation of things... In the 2nd installment, well you were evil by telling us before hand that something terrible will happen and then prolonged us waiting by fattening us up with sweet fluffy goodness :stuffed:... And so far with this one its been, the angst, ohhhhh the angst!  :cry:
And god how I just LOVE your evil ways  :D :luvluv2:
Well, I dunno. The entire storyline of memoir was omgah, what is Yossy all angsty about?! What happened at the end?
And then just before the end I totally started over. I thought that was pretty evil... :glasses:

OMG, Yossie has gonorrhea!! xD

WTF NO. XD NO ONE HAS ANY STDs  :lol:


Ruin my fantasy why don't you... Lol.
WTF  :shock:
XD

.................................. Yay  :w00t: more questions, doubts and unexplained incident remained unexplained.

 :banghead:
I'm detecting a bit of sarcasm...

Angst = fun!
THANK YOU! XD

Quote
Yossy: Miki, I've decided. You need to go bang Maki so we're even.
Miki: ...WHAT?
Yossy: I'm serious.
Miki: ....
Yossy: ...and I get to watch.
Miki: LIKE HELL YOU GET TO WATCH!!! :kickass:
Fixed.  :wahaha:
:on lol:

Quote
"I don't know. But, in my experience, if I can't figure out what to do, I need to find someone who knows me better than I know myself and ask them." I nodded thoughtfully. I knew just who to ask.
?
Nope. Someone un-gif-able. The next narrator, actually.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. They thought that she wanted the others to send Yossi home because she wanted to "come clean" so to speak. Naruhodou.
Exactly. I mean, you get a phone call from your pal's girlfriend freaking out and saying like "if you see her, make her come home, please" and she won't say why and she's got a reputation for being a bit handsy...

Quote
Wait. If Miki was leaving messages for everyone, then why didn't Maki...
That's right, Miki had been sending those texts during the night BEFORE Maki left for Korea. That means that Maki SHOULD have gotten the message...assuming of course that Miki actually sent it to Maki (who knows, she might have missed sending it to her).  Other than that, the only way that Maki should NOT have gotten that message would be if her phone was off or had a dead battery, or if she had changed her phone and Miki wasn't aware of it and thus didn't get the new number. Now assuming that Maki DID in fact get the message, one would think that she would have replied to Miki and told her that she had found Yossi, but that she was too drunk to get home.  So...IF she got Miki's message, read it, and STILL did not reply to it...then Maki's a dawg. :o
*clears throat*
 :hiakhiakhiak:


Quote
"Hey, Nakazawa, do you know when Maki's flight gets in? She comes back tomorrow, right?" She looked at me in surprise.
Time to get some answers. :yep:
Except for that whole Maki-on-bedrest thing.

OMG, Yossie has gonorrhea!! xD
:mon suspect:

...


 :bangchair:
THANK YOU!!  :luvluv1:

Or just go straight to her to get the truth, take a cute defenceless animal as a dirty way of bargaining if you must since Miki refused to elaborate her message.
XD

I totally need to use that at one point.

Wonderful story, even if it is very angsty    :mon cry:

I've read all the sections of memoir 1, 100% Kataomoi, and now this.

I am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens to Yomiki!  :mon inluv:

Life is at time very angsty, but mostly very hilarious.

Anyway... new part in a few!

The narrator is.... well, I hope you paid attention to how I was naming people for the chapters because otherwise you'll be all "wtf". XD

Offline almond

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Re: [part 12] memoir III: memory
« Reply #88 on: November 27, 2007, 10:44:24 PM »
PART 12
YOSHIZAWA - AUGUST 23RD

I sighed as walked towards the kitchen. That freaking kid. No matter how many times I tell him, he never listens. I glanced up at the kitchen and froze. Someone was in my kitchen. Rifling through my cupboards, looking for food. Oh my Gah, I'm going to die. I'm gonna -

Wait a second. I know that butt.

"HITOMI!" I yelled. My oldest jumped, hitting her head on the top of the cupboard.

"Damn, Mom, what!?" she groaned, rubbing the spot she'd hit.

"What are you doing here? You almost scared me half to death," I said, swatting at her with the dust rag I was holding.

"Can't a girl just come home for dinner?" she complained.

"Nope," I replied, giving her a hug. I took the opportunity to tug playfully on her hair. "Still blonde?" I teased, pulling back to look at her.

"Yeah," she laughed a little. I studied her face carefully.

"What's wrong?" She sighed and plopped down in one of the kitchen chairs. I sat down across from her.

"Um. Well, I - "

"I'm home!"

Ugh. That boy and his timing. I could hear my youngest walking towards us, probably in search of food again. Hitomi glanced behind me and smiled.

"HEY!" my son laughed. "Look what the cat dragged in. Damn, sis, you look like hell. What, did you get dumped or something?" The look on Hitomi's face told me that was exactly what had happened.

"Go to your room," I snapped without turning around.

"But Mom, I - " I turned and glared at him.

"I said go to your room! And if I find a pile of your dirty dishes by the computer again, you'll be staying in your room all weekend, understand?" He rolled his eyes and flounced out of the kitchen.

"He's getting to that stage already, huh?" Hitomi commented.

"Yeah, parenting's a real joy," I agreed. "Now talk."

"It's complicated," she sighed.

"Most things are," I replied with a smile. "So, you were seeing someone?"

"Yeah, well... I think I still am, technically, but... I don't know, it's weird."

"Ok..." I said slowly. "When did this start?"

"Um..." she leaned back thoughtfully. "April...?" I raised an eyebrow. She'd been seeing someone since April and this is the first I'd heard about it!? "Yeah, April of 2005."

"2005!?" I exclaimed. "You've been dating the same person for over two years and never thought to mention it?!"

"Pretty much," she shrugged. I shook my head.

"Wait - have you slept together?!"

"MOTHER!"

"Not like that, you little pervert!" I exclaimed. "I mean, well... you get cold easily and in the winter, you put on some of the strangest combinations of pajamas I've ever seen in my life." Hitomi groaned dramatically.

"Yes, my pajamas have been seen. I was told it's cute. And anyway, they're not strange. They're warm and comfortable," she insisted.

"Riiiight. So what happened?"

"I did something really, really stupid," Hitomi sighed. "And, honestly, she... um, that is, uh... er... by the way, I'm a le- "

"Hitomi, I'm your mother. I knew you were gay before you did. Continue." She laughed, her cheeks turning a little red.

"Right. So, really, she should have broken up with me on the spot, but... she didn't. She just kind of walked out."

"Isn't that the same thing?" I asked.

"Well, no, because she left the dogs and all of her things. I mean, we'd have to take her off the lease too, and - "

"YOU MOVED IN WITH HER!?" I exclaimed. I smacked the table. "Have I ever even met this girl you're shacked up with?"

"Um..." She bit her thumbnail like she always does when she's distracted. "Yeah, you've met her at least once."

"Ok, you have got to start talking to me more," I shook my head. "But that can wait. So, you did something stupid - which I'm guessing means you won't tell me what - and your live-in girlfriend walked out."

"Right."

"So... what? You can't find her?"

"No, no. I found her the next morning. But she won't see me or talk to me," Hitomi sighed.

"Maybe she just needs some time to think?" My daughter shook her head.

"Mi- um, she's more the 'say exactly what I think and figure out what I meant later' type."

"Oh." I sat there thoughtfully. "Mi", huh...

"And I ran into her yesterday and she acted normal for a second - "

"By 'normal' you mean she yelled at you?" I asked, starting to piece things together.

"Right. And then she apologized and ran off." Hitomi shook her head. "I really don't know what to do. I think she's holding all of it in because she doesn't want to hurt me, but..."

"But she needs to let it out so you can work past it," I replied. She nodded.

"Mom, what am I supposed to do?"

"Make her," I shrugged.

"What?" she stared at me.

"Make her yell at you. Next time you see her, take her aside - find an empty dressing room or a storage closet or something - and make her yell at you." Hitomi got a weird look on her face and cleared her throat. "No good?"

"No! No, just... thinking of something else. Sorry. Um, how can I make her yell at me?"

"I dunno, provoke her a little. Quite frankly, from what little you've told me, it sounds like you've got nothing to lose at this point. Either she lets it out and you two work past it or she doesn't and well..." I trailed off. She nodded slowly.

"Thanks."

"That's what I'm here for. Well, that and free food," I grinned, reaching across the table to pat her hand. "I do have a question for you, though."

"Hmm?"

"Didn't Fujimoto get Friday'd with some comedian a few months ago?" Her shocked expression told me that my guess was correct.

"Uh, technically, but, uh - "

"She faked it?" I supplied. My daughter looked at me carefully and slowly nodded. I smiled. "That's what I thought."

----------


EDIT - Forgot to change the dang thread title again >.<
« Last Edit: November 27, 2007, 10:49:27 PM by almond »

Offline Yuuyami

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Re: [part 11] memoir III: memory
« Reply #89 on: November 27, 2007, 10:56:07 PM »
You know, I almost spit tea at the computer when I suddenly realized that we were in the point of view de la Mama Y xD.

But yeah, sorry I haven't commented since my rather demanding critique for your first chapter of the first Memoir xD. I continued stalking it though xD The only thing that irked me was that you could probably write so much more (short chapters bother me, but at the rate in which you release them, it's okay xD).

ANYWHOOOOO. o_____o;

Dear Yomiki needs to get it together xDDD Poor Miki is in a maelstrom of confusion and doesn't know what to do ;-; I guess Yossie will have to reach her in the language of the demon :0 That is...  Uh... -Future and unlikely quote- "Miki! I love you! You are bedridden because I love you SO much...!" or something... xD -giggles at the double meaning- xD...

But yeah, Yossie can act like a clueless buffoon at times, and so does Miki when she's distracted by something, so they both need to get the picture cleared xD. Yossie has the support of her best friends and her mother, and Miki... Miki doesn't really have support, does she? o_o She's got Aya, but she's not exactly encouraging at the moment... Unless you intend to get that under control in the next few chapters... xD

Gahh damn it, Maki should get better soon and clear everything up! D: She's put everyone's favorite couple in angsty shoujo mode! D:

Offline anammm

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Re: [part 12] memoir III: memory
« Reply #90 on: November 27, 2007, 11:20:44 PM »
PART 12
YOSHIZAWA - AUGUST 23RD
at this point I scrolled up and down clueless for like 30 sec. then it hit me, KAASANNNNNNN
"I did something really, really stupid," Hitomi sighed. "And, honestly, she... um, that is, uh... er... by the way, I'm a le- "

"Hitomi, I'm your mother. I knew you were gay before you did. Continue." She laughed, her cheeks turning a little red.
mothers always know..................................................................... but usually deny it :bigdeal:
"Make her yell at you. Next time you see her, take her aside - find an empty dressing room or a storage closet or something - and make her yell at you." Hitomi got a weird look on her face and cleared her throat. "No good?"
Wise advice: make her scream :bingo:
"No! No, just... thinking of something else. Sorry. Um, how can I make her yell at me?"
I have quite a few ideas in my heand right now :kekeke:
"Didn't Fujimoto get Friday'd with some comedian a few months ago?" Her shocked expression told me that my guess was correct.

"Uh, technically, but, uh - "

"She faked it?" I supplied. My daughter looked at me carefully and slowly nodded. I smiled. "That's what I thought."
MOMS ALWAYS KNOWWWWW :mon beam:





just for the heck of it :ondick:
Yossi <3 Rika <3 Timu Ke <3

Offline polidread

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Re: [part 12] memoir III: memory
« Reply #91 on: November 27, 2007, 11:51:55 PM »
oh,

i thought we went to a time jump to the future to when Yoshizawa had kids already,
the thought made me go "WTF happened to Almond's plot"  :banana:

then i realized Yossie just retreated to an entire house full of Yoshizawas...  :sweat:

 :lol:

im just a bit off on how nonchalant her mom is about Hitomi loveshacking up with another gal,
no protest or pauses, just smooth flowing "yeah yer gay, so whazzup ? "

but that's just me :)

Offline g4rfield

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Re: [part 12] memoir III: memory
« Reply #92 on: November 27, 2007, 11:56:06 PM »
Quote
Quote from: g4rfield on November 24, 2007, 05:06:08 PM
.................................. Yay  more questions, doubts and unexplained incident remained unexplained.

 
[quote=almond
I'm detecting a bit of sarcasm...
:mon heh:

Cold's getting better, so...comment time!! Yaay! and this time with less sarcasm.  :mon lol:

Quote from: almond link=topic=13607.msg#msg date=

"Wait - have you slept together?!"
UURP!!  :mon spit: WHAT??!!

Quote
"I did something really, really stupid," Hitomi sighed. "And, honestly, she... um, that is, uh... er... by the way, I'm a le- "

"Hitomi, I'm your mother. I knew you were gay before you did. Continue." She laughed, her cheeks turning a little red.
  :farofflook: Ah, Yoshizawa-mama is so cool, just like her daughter. I wish my own mom could react like that too.

Quote
"Mi- um, she's more the 'say exactly what I think and figure out what I meant later' type."
OOOPS!

Quote
"Oh." I sat there thoughtfully. "Mi", huh...
Hmmm.....yeah, that's right....now she knows her identity.


Quote
"Make her," I shrugged.

"What?" she stared at me.

"Make her yell at you. Next time you see her, take her aside - find an empty dressing room or a storage closet or something - and make her yell at you." Hitomi got a weird look on her face and cleared her throat. "No good?"

"No! No, just... thinking of something else. Sorry. Um, how can I make her yell at me?"

"I dunno, provoke her a little. Quite frankly, from what little you've told me, it sounds like you've got nothing to lose at this point. Either she lets it out and you two work past it or she doesn't and well..." I trailed off. She nodded slowly.
Hallelujah!!!  :mon beam: Finally, someone wiser than the two mopping girls and their calvary!! Way to go Yoshizawa-mama!!!  :mon determined: I'm liking her character already. Sorta reminds me of Debbie from Queer as Folk TV show.

Quote
"Didn't Fujimoto get Friday'd with some comedian a few months ago?" Her shocked expression told me that my guess was correct.

"Uh, technically, but, uh - "

"She faked it?" I supplied. My daughter looked at me carefully and slowly nodded. I smiled. "That's what I thought."
Yoshizawa-mama is smarter than we thought.

Offline polidread

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Re: [part 12] memoir III: memory
« Reply #93 on: November 28, 2007, 12:09:48 AM »
nyahaha, referring to her as Yoshizawa-mama suddenly reminds me strongly of Shingo-mama

http://web-japan.org/kidsweb/archives/cool/00-07-09/shingomama.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shingo_Katori

 :bleed eyes:

im glad people are actually sort of CHEERFUL after reading a chapter from Almond :P

Offline JFC

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Re: [part 12] memoir III: memory
« Reply #94 on: November 28, 2007, 06:13:02 AM »
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The narrator is.... well, I hope you paid attention to how I was naming people for the chapters because otherwise you'll be all "wtf".  XD
Quote
PART 12
YOSHIZAWA - AUGUST 23RD
:mon suspect:

...

The only reason I'm not smacking you with a chair is that I'm still hoping for some serious "former-leaders closet making-up time". 



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I sighed as walked towards the kitchen. That freaking kid. No matter how many times I tell him, he never listens. I glanced up at the kitchen and froze. Someone was in my kitchen. Rifling through my cupboards, looking for food. Oh my Gah, I'm going to die. I'm gonna -

Wait a second. I know that butt.

"HITOMI!" I yelled. My oldest jumped, hitting her head on the top of the cupboard.
W...T...F...:stunned:

...

Though...when you think about it, it makes complete sense. Who else who know her better than the woman who carried her around for 9 months and did all that "parenting" stuff when she was younger?

...

I probably shouldn't have said that "former leaders closet making-up time" bit out loud. :mon sweat:

...

...

But wait...does she KNOW about Yossi and Miki? If not, she's in for one HELL of a bombshell.  :dunno:




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I studied her face carefully.

"What's wrong?" She sighed and plopped down in one of the kitchen chairs. I sat down across from her.
Just one look, dear child...and mama knows.



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"Ok..." I said slowly. "When did this start?"

"Um..." she leaned back thoughtfully. "April...?" I raised an eyebrow. She'd been seeing someone since April and this is the first I'd heard about it!? "Yeah, April of 2005."

"2005!?" I exclaimed. "You've been dating the same person for over two years and never thought to mention it?!"
* JFC makes long whistling noise followed by a *BOOM!*

Yossi = :sweat:
Yossi's Mom = :dizzy:




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"Wait - have you slept together?!"
That's got to be on the Top 10 list of things you never want to have your mom ask you. :mon ko:



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So what happened?"

"I did something really, really stupid," Hitomi sighed. "And, honestly, she... um, that is, uh... er... by the way, I'm a le- "

"Hitomi, I'm your mother. I knew you were gay before you did. Continue." She laughed, her cheeks turning a little red.
* JFC hears angelic "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" in the background
:mon beam:

Like I said earlier, child...mama knows.  Next question is, does the rest of the family know?



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"I really don't know what to do. I think she's holding all of it in because she doesn't want to hurt me, but..."

"But she needs to let it out so you can work past it," I replied. She nodded.
Isn't that what I've been saying for the past few chapters?  :pimp:



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"Mom, what am I supposed to do?"

"Make her," I shrugged.

"What?" she stared at me.

"Make her yell at you.
That's actually not a bad idea. Miki's doing all that she can to keep herself in check around Yossi, when she should be letting loose.  For Miki's own good (as well as her own), Yossi might have to do this.



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Next time you see her, take her aside - find an empty dressing room or a storage closet or something - and make her yell at you." Hitomi got a weird look on her face and cleared her throat. "No good?"
Dressing room could work.

...

Probably better to avoid the closets for the time being.  :P



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Quite frankly, from what little you've told me, it sounds like you've got nothing to lose at this point. Either she lets it out and you two work past it or she doesn't and well..." I trailed off. She nodded slowly.
Yet another good point. Trying this stunt is definitely risky, as Miki hasn't been acting like she normally would, which makes this whole situation very unpredictable.  But like Yossi's mom said, at this point they don't have anything to lose.  Also...for a love like this...the risk is worth it.



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"I do have a question for you, though."

"Hmm?"

"Didn't Fujimoto get Friday'd with some comedian a few months ago?" Her shocked expression told me that my guess was correct.

"Uh, technically, but, uh - "

"She faked it?" I supplied. My daughter looked at me carefully and slowly nodded. I smiled. "That's what I thought."
Say it with me people:
CHILD, MAMA KNOWS!!! :rockon:



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Uh... -Future and unlikely quote- "Miki! I love you! You are bedridden because I love you SO much...!" or something... xD -giggles at the double meaning- xD...
Double meanings totally rule.  :lol:


EDIT:
Quote
I sighed as walked towards the kitchen. That freaking kid. No matter how many times I tell him, he never listens. I glanced up at the kitchen and froze. Someone was in my kitchen. Rifling through my cupboards, looking for food. Oh my Gah, I'm going to die.
OH MY GAH!!! YOSSI'S MOM SAYS "OH MY GAH!!!" :on lol:
« Last Edit: November 28, 2007, 06:36:40 AM by JFC »

JPH!P :heart:'s Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline lollipopgirl

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Re: [part 12] memoir III: memory
« Reply #95 on: November 28, 2007, 09:59:38 AM »
Well, I dunno. The entire storyline of memoir was omgah, what is Yossy all angsty about?! What happened at the end?
And then just before the end I totally started over. I thought that was pretty evil... :glasses:

Ok good point :P
How about I just say you've always been evil then ;)

I apologise in advance... I'm really tired so this is a crap comment.
Love the fact it was her mum's POV, such a classic almond move :) (oh and I figured it out like right away coz you always put 'Yossy' at the start of hers right?)
YAY for less angst and some humour and unlike everyone else, i think the closet would be a good idea coz then once Miki yells it all out, they can remember the good times and how romantic of Yossy to deliberately take her back to the place it all started (both times) so they can start again... That would make me melt at least :heart:

Yocchan's mum = totally cool :D (maybe cooler then Maki's mum  :shocked: )

I know i had more to say when i read this, I knew i should have replied then  :( Sorry!

EDIT - Forgot to change the dang thread title again >.<
See, I knew I was being nice when I reminded you last time  8)
« Last Edit: November 28, 2007, 10:03:31 AM by lollipopgirl »

Offline MyDearYossi

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Re: [part 12] memoir III: memory
« Reply #96 on: November 28, 2007, 11:37:04 AM »
Yossi's mom is sooooo cool :mon inluv:

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"I did something really, really stupid," Hitomi sighed. "And, honestly, she... um, that is, uh... er... by the way, I'm a le- "

"Hitomi, I'm your mother. I knew you were gay before you did. Continue." She laughed, her cheeks turning a little red.
Does Yossi’s dad know....? :ph43r:

Quote
"Make her yell at you. Next time you see her, take her aside - find an empty dressing room or a storage closet or something - and make her yell at you." Hitomi got a weird look on her face and cleared her throat. "No good?"

"No! No, just... thinking of something else. Sorry. Um, how can I make her yell at me?"
Thinking of the Happy Closet Times, maybe :mon lol:

Offline Kreuz_Asakura

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Re: [part 12] memoir III: memory
« Reply #97 on: November 29, 2007, 09:10:11 PM »
hahaha love this chapter, Yossy's mom is so cool
I'm happy with this chapter, make me forget about all that unhappy chapters for a while :D
Now, is time for Yossy and Miki to fix their problems aaaaaaaaand time to Maki for comeback, and explain everything but not until Aya and her have had a big argue  XD
Waiting for the next chap

Offline almond

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Re: [part 12] memoir III: memory
« Reply #98 on: December 01, 2007, 12:47:53 AM »
So, I told myself "you can't post the next chapter until you finish writing the one after it."
And then that took me 3 days.  :lol:

But yeah, sorry I haven't commented since my rather demanding critique for your first chapter of the first Memoir xD. I continued stalking it though xD The only thing that irked me was that you could probably write so much more (short chapters bother me, but at the rate in which you release them, it's okay xD).
LOL! It's ok! Thanks for still reading my insanity!
I know I have a problem with short chapters. The problem is that I'm obsessed with getting a good ending line. And if I find one, I'll end the scene. XD
Well, that and the whole first-person narrator issue. Sometimes I need to switch narrators and that means new chapter.

-Future and unlikely quote- "Miki! I love you! You are bedridden because I love you SO much...!" or something... xD -giggles at the double meaning- xD...
:lol:

Miki doesn't really have support, does she? o_o She's got Aya, but she's not exactly encouraging at the moment... Unless you intend to get that under control in the next few chapters... xD
Aya's doing the best she can. She's got a lot going on in her head and is trying to put it aside to make sure Miki doesn't self-destruct.

Gahh damn it, Maki should get better soon and clear everything up! D: She's put everyone's favorite couple in angsty shoujo mode! D:
*to the tune of Romantic Ukare Mode* Angsty Shoujo Mode!

"Make her yell at you. Next time you see her, take her aside - find an empty dressing room or a storage closet or something - and make her yell at you." Hitomi got a weird look on her face and cleared her throat. "No good?"
Wise advice: make her scream :bingo:
:on lol:

im just a bit off on how nonchalant her mom is about Hitomi loveshacking up with another gal,
no protest or pauses, just smooth flowing "yeah yer gay, so whazzup ? "
From the 5-seconds of Asayan footage and Yossy talking about her family, she seems to all be pretty, well, Yossy-like. XD

Hallelujah!!!  :mon beam: Finally, someone wiser than the two mopping girls and their calvary!! Way to go Yoshizawa-mama!!!  :mon determined: I'm liking her character already. Sorta reminds me of Debbie from Queer as Folk TV show.
Oh, man, I haven't watched that in years. I had to stop after I realized that Justin reminded me of my brother and that's just so, so wrong.

nyahaha, referring to her as Yoshizawa-mama suddenly reminds me strongly of Shingo-mama
Omgah, I'd blocked that out XD

The only reason I'm not smacking you with a chair is that I'm still hoping for some serious "former-leaders closet making-up time". 
:hee:

W...T...F...:stunned:
yep.

Though...when you think about it, it makes complete sense. Who else who know her better than the woman who carried her around for 9 months and did all that "parenting" stuff when she was younger?
yep.

I probably shouldn't have said that "former leaders closet making-up time" bit out loud. :mon sweat:
XD

But wait...does she KNOW about Yossi and Miki? If not, she's in for one HELL of a bombshell.  :dunno:
DUN DUN DUUUUN!

Just one look, dear child...and mama knows.
Yep. Exactly why Yossy went to her.

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"Wait - have you slept together?!"
That's got to be on the Top 10 list of things you never want to have your mom ask you. :mon ko:
So very, very true. That and "So, wait. When I look at the Victoria's Secret catalog, I'm looking at the bras and stuff. Since you're gay, you're looking at the girls, right?"  :depressed:

* JFC hears angelic "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" in the background
:mon beam:

Like I said earlier, child...mama knows.  Next question is, does the rest of the family know?
Dad probably knows. Brother, not so sure, he's kind of young. He might just have assumed, though.

Say it with me people:
CHILD, MAMA KNOWS!!! :rockon:
EVERYBODY NOW! XD

How about I just say you've always been evil then ;)
This is very true. :grin:

YAY for less angst and some humour and unlike everyone else, i think the closet would be a good idea coz then once Miki yells it all out, they can remember the good times and how romantic of Yossy to deliberately take her back to the place it all started (both times) so they can start again... That would make me melt at least :heart:
Mi: YOU SUCK! I HATE YOU!
Yo: I know!
Mi: DAMN, YOU'RE HOT!
Yo: Well, we ARE in a closet
Mi: ....
*CENSORED*

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"Make her yell at you. Next time you see her, take her aside - find an empty dressing room or a storage closet or something - and make her yell at you." Hitomi got a weird look on her face and cleared her throat. "No good?"

"No! No, just... thinking of something else. Sorry. Um, how can I make her yell at me?"
Thinking of the Happy Closet Times, maybe :mon lol:
Pretty much. I just HAD to throw that in there.
yoMom: ...storage closet or
Yo: *thinking* ehehehehehehehehehehehe.....

I'm happy with this chapter, make me forget about all that unhappy chapters for a while :D
YAY!

Waiting for the next chap

IT'S FINALLY HERE!

Narrator is
« Last Edit: January 13, 2008, 05:10:41 PM by almond »

Offline almond

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Re: [part 13] memoir III: memory
« Reply #99 on: December 01, 2007, 12:49:57 AM »
PART 13
AYA - AUGUST 25TH

>beep beep<

I groaned and flipped open my cell phone.

ayayayaya
You're out of ice cream again. All that's left is vanilla.
And I hate vanilla, but I'm eating it anyway.
Could you get more on your way home? Please?
Thanks! You're the bestest friend ever. <3
mikikikiki

I sighed heavily. Again with the freaking ice cream. If Tan wasn't carefully, she'd be putting retro Yoshizawa to shame in no time. Suddenly, my eyes spotted a familiar face in the hallway.

"YOU!" I shouted. Yossy jumped and stared at me in alarm. I stalked over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Aya, what the hell?"

"You. Need. To. Fix. This," I said slowly, shaking her a little with each word. She looked alarmed.

"Ok... first, let's start by you not giving me bruises." I flushed and released my death grip on her. "Thanks," she said in an amused tone. "Now what do I need to fix?"

"Tan," I replied. Yossy's face fell.

"Aya, that's pretty hard to do when she still won't see me," she said in a quiet voice.

"I know and I'm sorry for bringing it up at work, but she's... I don't even know what she is right now."

"Well, I just finished for the day anyway. What do you mean you don't know?"

"She hasn't left my apartment since she ran into you in the cafeteria," I started.

"That's pretty normal for her," Yossy laughed. "She doesn't like going out."

"I know, but... she's still in her pajamas. She only showered this morning because I made her. And I'm pretty sure all she's done the past two days is sit on my couch eating ice cream." Yossy bit her lip and looked away from me. "Yossy, I don't think she's sleeping either."

"What do you want me to do, Aya? Break your door down?" she sighed, turning back to face me. I reached into my purse and pulled out a small envelope.

"I got this made today for Tan, but I think I'll have you deliver it," I said, pulling out the spare key and handing it to her. She looked down at the key and nodded.

"Thanks," she said quietly. I smiled.

"Just do me one favor, ok?"

"What?"

"Don't have sex on my couch. I like my couch."

----------------

Sorry, it's kind of short, but I needed a chapter to get from point a to point b. ^^;

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