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Author Topic: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~  (Read 22715 times)

Offline Comrade

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ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« on: July 14, 2009, 03:53:50 PM »
ComFen have a special Morning Musume at Anime Expo story.  I don't think anyone will quite believe what happened, but I swear on my own grave that it's the golden truth. (And don't worry that I don't have a grave.  That does not in any way at all invalidate my guarantee.  Not one bit.)  Also, I totally swear that some of this dialogue is lifted straight out of real life.  It really happened that way.  (Um, just a bit.  As for the rest of it, it's hella dressed up and exaggerated.  Virtual cookies to those who can separate fact from fiction.)

I'm sorry for some of the self-referential narrative moments that may be scattered throughout the story, but we live in a post modern world with post modern sleaze (awesome song), and that's the way I write this ComFen crackfic shit (say that 10 times fast).

And yeah, H!P girls play a role in this story, so chill.

This story is dedicated to every fan, whether you were at AX or not.  To those I talked to, you may very well appear in this story, so beware.  (If you appear, it means I wub you. :D  But if you don't appear in the story, I probably wub you, too.)  Special shout out to Jabronisaur who is currently sick and in hospital.  We love you, man, and we're awaiting your safe return. <3

Anyway, this is what really happened in SoCal not too long ago.  ComFen and the Davetron formerly known as EBC invite you to relax.  Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents.... Disney plagiarism?  Er, no...

A ComFen story.


1: Tasked With the Unpossible

Dear all,

I, Comrade, do not wish to intrude.  The party is going strong, and I will only get in the way with my tomfoolery-


"Tee hee, you used the word 'tomfoolery'!"

Please excuse Fenrir.  She's a pain in the-

"Aibutt!"

Comrade stopped in mid composition.

"Are you gonna let me write this damned thing, or should I knock you unconscious and use your skin and hair to fashion a new boom mic for Dinny whilst the two of us feast on your tender flesh grilled medium rare and served in a white wine sauce?"

The shutting up of Fen was quick and sweet.  Never mind that Commie hadn't even met Dinny yet.

Commie picked up her pencil but then slammed it back down on the floor, where she was seated, leaning her back against the bed that was to be hers for the next five days.

"Now I lost my groove," she growled.

Fen smirked from the floor across the room and by the door.

"You never had a groove to begin with."

"Why you..."

Commie leapt forward, her arms outstretched and ready to strangle the quackhead, when Mrs. Fen Senior walked in.

"Anybody want tea?" she asked.

Commie jumped back on the floor and sat on her hands.

"No thank you, Mrs. Fen Senior," she declined politely.

Fen Junior cackled to herself.

"Thanks, Mom, but we're ok."

With a gracious smile FenMom left the room, and Commie was once again lunging in a way to inflict the most pain possible.

"What about some cookies?"

FenMom reprise.

Commie groaned and changed her trajectory so that she appeared to be trying to grab a hold of her suitcase in a desperate, hyper way.  She looked up.

"Oh, no, thank you," she said, still polite but a bit frazzled.

"We're good, Mom," Fen smiled sweetly.

This time when Senior left, Commie kicked the door shut so that she could beat Junior.

But just then, a phone began to ring.

"Chu chu chu chu chu, summer partyyy~~~"

Commie stared at Fen with a questioning look.

"What?" Fen mumbled defensively, reaching into her pocket to bring out her blackberry.  "It was a good shuffle unit."

Fen bent her head down and read the text message that had just arrived.

"Actually," Commie said eruditely, "I think the style really suited Rika-chan, but the-"

"OMGCommieit'sdinnyandshesaysmorningmusumeisarrivingattheairportsoonsolet'sgo!"

And that was how Commie was forcibly dragged by the arm to the garage and thrown into the front passenger seat of Fen's car.  She automatically buckled up as Fen got into the driver's side, and only when the engine was started did Commie have the sense to ask where they were going.

"Where are we going?" she asked in a move of epic redundancy, as it was already written into the narrative that she had asked that particular question.

"I told you.  The airport.  They're landing in fifteen minutes!!" was Fen's rabidly enthusiastic reply as she backed the car out of the driveway with a few bumps that would've put Commie in a trauma coma if she'd been in an airplane.

"Fifteen minutes?!" Commie cried.  "But it takes, like, an hour to get to the airport from here."

Fen's eyes lit up with an evil smile, and she bared her teeth in a frightening grin, her canines glistening in the sun that shone through the windshield.

"Just leave that to me."

And nothing could instill fear in Commie more than the crazyholic driver vibes Fen was giving off.

"But what about Ebc?" Commie asked in a small voice, almost afraid to suggest a detour.

"Oh," Fen said, her evil smile growing deeper.  "He's been factored into the equation.  I'll have him and us there by the time they land and with time to spare."

Commie gave a silent "oh" to this rather terrifying news, and Fen turned violently onto the main road to pick up Davetron from his hotel.

"Oh.... mother..." Commie mumbled.

But the worst/best was yet to come.

TBC...
« Last Edit: September 03, 2009, 12:32:44 AM by Comrade »
Sweet dreams, Jab.  Love you forever.

Offline Comrade

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2009, 03:58:17 PM »
2: Freewayin' Fen and the Comfension

"The fuck are you doing, you mother$@^*#?!"

Commie looked back at Ebc, and the two shared a sweatdrop.

"Stay in your freaking lane, you loser!"

Ebc inspected his reflection in the window to see if all his hair had instantly turned white from the stress of being picked up rather suddenly (and forcibly) from his hotel by a raging Fen.  He'd barely had time to grab his video camera.  And his pants.

"If you wanna get in front of me, do it, but you better have that peddle to the floor, jerk!!"

Commie thought back to the good old days of the ComFen adventures in Japan.  The narrower roads, the less powerful cars, the lack of L.A. traffic... It was all starting to seem a lot more agreeable to her despite the cross-country chase they had been led on.

"Ah, the good old days," Commie sighed aloud.

"What?" Fen asked distractedly.

"I was just thinking about when we lived in Japan and-"

"Shit!  I missed our exit!!"

Fen interrupted Commie and swerved the car as it began to climb up to a higher level of the freeway.

"Let's see what this baby can do," Fen grinned, jerking the steering wheel sharply to the right and gunning the engine.

"Dude, Fen, there's a barrier there!" Ebc cried out.

But it was far too late and Fen was far past sanity.

"Hold on!" Fen cackled.

"WHOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

Ebc and Commie screamed as the car vaulted over the barrier and down onto the exit.  All cars behind immediately braked, and the cars in front that had seen the spectacular stunt began to swerve to the sides, clearing a path for the mad driver.  Fen ploughed through without any hesitation.

Commie took this moment to compose a haiku on the spot.

"Oh, FenFen, you nut.
You almost killed your dear friends.
Miki would be proud.
"

From behind, Ebc was muttering Scientology prayers.  Commie turned around.

"Didn't know you were into Scientology," Commie said enthusiastically.

"Just converted," Ebc explained with a grim smile.  "I figure with Fen in the driver's seat, I might not make it till the end of the day, and it seemed like a whacky enough religion for me to take on."

"Sounds interesting.  Tell me more."

But as things tend to go, there was no time to explain.  The next obstacle had appeared.

"Accident on the exit ramp?  What the hell?  How does someone have an accident on the exit ramp?!" Fen raved.

Commie bit her tongue.  No use trying to explain that their car was probably to blame.

It was then when Commie noticed the police lights and sirens looming up from behind them.

"Uh, Fen," Commie said shakily.

"What?" Fen snapped, making a quick lane change to skirt around a stopped car.

"Er, the police are kind of, uh..."

"What?!  Just spit it out!" Fen snapped again, this time obviously having lost her patience completely.

"Um, never mind..."

Commie figured they'd been in tighter spots than this before.  Fen would pull through and get them out.  Either that, or Fen would be going to jail and Commie and Ebc would be deported.

Sure enough, through some amazing driving skills and a drop of sheer luck, Fen maneuvered the car expertly through the tangles of traffic, and the police lights grew dimmer as the sound of the sirens faded away into nothingness.

"Needs more music," Fen muttered under her breath, hitting a button on her steering wheel to start up the stereo system.

Footsteps... Girls talking quietly and excitedly... A car door being unlocked... Car door opening... Closing... "Turn it up"... Engine starting... "Just turn it up"... A beat fading in...

"Sowoneul malhaebwaaaaaaa~ Fen starting singing.

It was like the clouds of misfortune had parted and a celestial being had spoken from above.  Comrade was basked in light.

Nirvana.

Enlightenment.

She forgot about the fact that they were doing 150kph through clogged up traffic, and she let the love and praise rip through her body and out her mouth.

"Oh my god.  What is this?  I goddamn love it!"

Fen looked to her right and grinned, the first non-evil grin of this story.

"Isn't it awesome?  You'll never listen to anything else after you finish this once."

The two sat in their front seats and bounced to the beat as they sped over to the entrance of the next freeway, which would take them to the airport.

"I can see.  I can seeeeee!" Commie cheered.

In the back, Ebc had collapsed of spontaneous loveshock.  He had just finished saying his Scientology prayers when Fen had started the song, and the relief of hearing his most beloved girls singing The Most Awesome Song In The World had been too much of a shocking change for his heart.  His blood thinned and he passed out, a happy smile on his face.

"Dude, who is this?!" Commie asked, noticing Ebc but just thinking that jet lag had caught up to him.

"SNSD, my friend," Fen replied, looking over her shoulder in order to confirm a clear path for a lane change.

"So we're racing to the airport to greet Morning Musume while playing some K-pop girl group song?" Commie asked.

"You betcha."

Commie felt like they were a pair of shining superstars, and all her inhibitions slowly melted away.  For the first time that day, she felt like Fen wasn't all that insane.  Or at least not at all in a bad way.

"Man, then... Screw the law.  Get us the fuck over there, Fen!"

"That's mah girl, Com!" Fen cried, raising her hand for a high-five that Commie returned.  "For a moment there I was wondering what had happened to the daring Commie that I know."

"She's back!" Commie cheered.  "And damn, you've converted me to K-pop."

"Comverted," Fen snickered.

"Heh, A comversion?"

"A... Comfension?"

"Hells yeah!"

High-five reprise.

Fen addressed Ebc in the rear-view mirror.

"You hear that, Dave?  We've got another one to add to our list of followers."

There was no response.

"Dave?" Fen tried again.

Commie turned around in her seat and saw The Tron passed out in the back, his head resting against the window and a smile still on his lips.

"I think he's still tired out from the flight.  It's, like, the next day's morning for him already... or something," Commie announced ignorantly.

They shrugged and kept bouncing to the music in their seats all the way to the airport.

TBC...
« Last Edit: August 04, 2009, 06:38:11 PM by Comrade »
Sweet dreams, Jab.  Love you forever.

Offline Comrade

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2009, 04:11:33 PM »
3: Touching Base

Fen got the trio to the airport in sixteen minutes.  She was kicking herself for taking that extra minute, but she had missed the exit to the airport, and she'd had to repeat the same vaulting move in order to get onto the correct ramp.  Factoring in unfavourable wind speeds and the various positions of exiting cars, it was clear where that extra minute had gone.  While Fen parked haphazardly in a spot near the exit, Commie poked Ebc awake with a stick.  Once they were all ready to go (which was when Fen thought they were ready to go and not when they were actually ready to go), they left the car at a sprint.  Fen led the pack, Commie and Ebc following hot on her heels.

God, it's way colder in L.A. than I expected, Ebc thought.

Well, so much for being worried I wouldn't get any cardio on this trip, Commie thought.

AibuttAibuttAibutt, Fen thought.

Our three superheros sure were deep thinkers.

"Over there!" Commie cried, catching sight of the arriving passenger waiting area as they waited for the red light to turn blue so that they could cross.

"Are they there yet?  Are they there yet?!" Fen asked, jumping over the monstrously tall people in front of her.

"Nope," Ebc said calmly, being one of those tall people.

"Screw this waiting thing!" Fen cried out in frustration, and she grabbed Commie and Ebc's arms, dragging them across the street.

Commie looked at Ebc and shrugged in submission.

"When in Rome..."

All Ebc could do was cling to Fen.

"We're going to diiiiieeeee!"

They made it across the street alive and ran to the covered entrance. A blast of chilly air sent Ebc and Commie to death's door, but they somehow pulled through.  Fen was unaffected, being a native of the region.

The airport was flooded with H!P fans of all types and from across the various forums.  The largest concentration of waiting fans was standing inside the building and behind a metal barrier that separated them from the arriving passengers.  Some of the fans had made a colourful sign welcoming Morning Musume to America.  The rest were gathered around, talking, laughing, and snapping photos of each other at this pivotal event.

"FEN!" hollared the loudest voice anyone within one kilometre of the airport had ever heard in their lives.

The trio ventured further in, and what appeared to be a flash of clothes and flesh gathered Fen up in a huge bear hug, swinging her around and jumping up and down.

"It's so good to see you!!" the mysterious person yelled happily.

He eventually let Fen go, and the newly arrived trio saw him clearly for the first time.

"Hey, Daigong," Fen greeted calmly.

"Dude, what's up with this 'Hey Daigong' shit?  Greet me like a man!"

Daigong grabbed Fen's hand in a vicious shake and pounded her back with his other hand.  Fen coughed a few times, the wind having been knocked out of her.  Daigong let her go and turned his attention to Ebc.

"'Sup, Dave!?"

Daigong then proceeded to give Ebc the same manly handshake treatment, though it ended in a more successful way than the FenDai one.  Commie tried to introduce herself daintily, but Daigong repeated his action, and unprepared, Commie failed.  Very much.

"So, you're Commie.  Came out from Australia, too, huh?" Daigong asked.

"Eh?  No... What's that all aboot?" Commie said confusedly.

"D'oh!!" Daigong cried out, wincing in pain.  "I meant New Zealand.  Sorry sorry sorry!  I always do that."

Before Commie could correct the error, she was torn away from the group by Erilaz, who had arrived just minutes ago.  While they chatted, Fen snuck away and went outside.

"DinDin!" she called out, spotting her twin just outside the door.

"''Sup, Fen?" the girl polishing a video camera asked.

"Just got here.  Thanks for the message.  Any word?"

Dinny shook her head, mostly keeping focused on her task but sparing Fen an eye.

"Naw."

"Bummer."

They stood there for a minute as Dinny finished fixing up her precious camera.

"Looking forward to it?"

"Hoo yeah," Dinny nodded.

"Aibutt," Fen grinned stupidly.

"Kamei-chan," Dinny replied with the exact same look.

Just at that moment, Commie walked up to the two.

"Hey, Fen," she said, greeting one of the girls.

"I'm Dinny," the girl said.  "That's Fen."

"Err...... Oops.  Nice camera."

"You make that mistake again and I'll make you into the next furry mic covering," Dinny threatened calmly.

It sure was nice to meet Rev2hd!

TBC...
« Last Edit: August 04, 2009, 06:38:29 PM by Comrade »
Sweet dreams, Jab.  Love you forever.

Offline Estrea

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2009, 04:41:54 PM »
HILARIOUS!!!

I love this. XD

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline Fenrir

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2009, 07:54:18 PM »
COMFEN CRACKFIC REVIVAL!

I love our car rides. XD

Offline DO Me DO Me

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2009, 11:21:45 PM »
Commie be original! Don't just copy/paste your LJ entries. I read this one already. XD

Gah, another NOS? I've been writing too. I will make my return soon! :D

Offline 0508

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2009, 12:17:19 AM »
LOL Commie. I didn't expect to make a cameo in here. You made me so evil. XD

"Are you gonna let me write this damned thing, or should I knock you unconscious and use your skin and hair to fashion a new boom mic for Dinny whilst the two of us feast on your tender flesh grilled medium rare and served in a white wine sauce?"

Wow you've turned us into cannibals, but I'm glad you remember how I like my meat done. I think that's what really counts.8D

Offline Comrade

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2009, 03:32:36 AM »
°NOS!  And also yeah, I was thinking some of the things coming up might mirror my lj. :lol:

Lol, rev.  You were integral.  Still will be in upcoming chapters!  But... "made" you evil?  I didn't make anyone anything.  They made themselves.  I simply report what I see.   :taco: (jokes, jokes. ;P)

omg, a dancing taco.  I love this forum.

The real action starts next chapter.  We need a dancing ComFen emoticon, cuz that's what has to be inserted [here].
Sweet dreams, Jab.  Love you forever.

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2009, 04:14:13 PM »
LMAO.... XD
The real action starts next chapter.
So it gets better than the crazy ass race to LAX? :P

Offline Comrade

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2009, 08:14:53 PM »
^ mosdef. :P  (hah, actually, maybe that was the peak.  Damn, fizzled out before a plot even existed... :lol:)

4: Return of the Creature From...

Eventually, Ebc ditched the inside crowd and came to wait outside with Dinny, ComFen, and a few other randomly placed fans.  Everyone was rife with nervous, excited energy.  They were experimenting with various angles for their video footage while checking their watches every thirty seconds.

"When are they coming?" Commie asked for the fourth time that minute.

"Soon," Fen said for the fourth time that minute.

A minute passed.

"When are they coming?" Fen asked.

"Soon," Commie replied.

They waited for an hour.  Arriving passengers passed through the doors constantly during this time, and Fen and Commie would inspect their baggage tags in the hopes of finding a JAL tag, for their stalker hook-up had informed them that Morning Musume would be arriving on a JAL flight.

"They're not here yet," Fen grumbled, and she looked over at one of the fans, the connection to the stalker hook-up who was on the flight with the Musume.  "Any word from your friend?"

The calm dude shook his head, and they all continued to play the waiting game.  Commie started to take pictures of the waiting crowd while Fen texted them, asking if they could see anything.  Never mind that just walking over to ask would be faster...

"Do I make a good tripod?" Dinny asked.

Commie's arms had become tired while taking video footage of absolutely nothing interesting, so she'd rested her camera on the nearest surface - Dinny's head.

"What?" Fen asked, looking up from her phone.

"Or, like, a bipod?" Dinny corrected.

"Tripod?" Fen laughed.  "Ha, yeah, maybe if you were a guy you'd be a tripod."

"Muwahaha," Commie cackled.

She stopped filming, however, because her camera was already running low on battery.

"Oh em gee!  JAL!" Fen suddenly cried out, pointing frantically at a suitcase an elderly man was carrying.

"JAL!  Praise JAL!" Commie cried out, and the two did an Excited Boogie Dance.

Dinny tried to blend in with the door out of embarrassment.  Commie ran to get Ebc to tell him that they'd seen JAL tags and that Morning Musume should be out soon.

"That's w-w-wonderful," Ebc-Popsicle stuttered, his teeth chattering.

Commie skipped back to Fen, and they kept their eyes on arriving passengers.  Everyone had giant bags of omiyage and perfectly matching luggage sets.

"Ah, Japan," ComFen sighed in unison.

As they were reminiscing, a huge cart full of suitcases that could only belong to nine girly idols was pushed out through the door.

"That's Morning Musume's luggage!" Fen announced giddily, and all cameras immediately turned to the rolling cart.

Commie waved Ebc over.  

Any minute.  Any minute...

Mass screaming.

"They're here!" ComFen, Dinny, and Ebc all cheered together.

What followed next was pandemonium of extraordinary amounts.  As each Musume appeared, the crowd inside went nuts, screaming all the girls' names and snapping photos or taking video.  When each girl stepped outdoors, they were greeted with a second wave of psychotic displays.

"Ai-chan!" Fen screamed.

"Kamei!" Dinny screamed.

"Sayu!" Commie screamed.

"..." Ebc was too busy trying to get good footage (i.e. too manly) to scream.

The girls walked by quickly but with slightly dazed and surprised looks.  Kamei kept her head down like an Ayubot.  Reina managed to look like a pedestrian crossing sign.  Sayu spared the camera a pathetic, spastic wave while looking drugged up on sleeping pills.  Gaki did that thing with her mouth where she chews on her inner cheeks.  Koharu managed to look hugely imposing and taller than Ebc (even though she's totally not).  Aika looked like a kid (which is understandable because she is one).  Nobody noticed what JunJun was doing.  Ai looked calm and happy, but with her usual "..." air.  A final girl in a hat rounded up the group.  She was sporting a white mask.

"Ah, LinLin!" Fen cried out in surprise, realising who the girl was and speaking aloud without being aware of it.

At the sound of her name, LinLin turned around, her eyes opened wide in surprise, which was actually just her natural facial expression.  She waved at Fen and then turned back around to catch up with the rest of the group.  ComFen burst into excited giggles.  Dinny was off after the girls, filming them from behind (and almost bowling them all down), and Ebc had disappeared to the sidelines, probably finding a more efficient route to follow the girls.  Fenrir and Comrade were about to follow when something caught Fen's eye.  It made her blood freeze and boil at the same time.  She grabbed Commie's wrist.

"Commie, look at that girl."

Commie looked in the direction Fen was looking, and her blood did the exact same freezing and boiling thing.  Had there been a need for a blood transfusion at that moment- well, let's not think about that.  It would've been messy and unfortunate.  The point is that coming out of the door and heading in the same direction as Morning Musume was a girl wearing a black hat pulled down low over her forehead and a white medical mask over her mouth and nose.  She was carrying a rather tattered and old black suitcase, and she kept looking over her shoulder as though she thought she were being followed.

"Miki-sama..." ComFen murmured in awe.

But before they could raise an alarm or run a single step, Miki disappeared into the crowd.

"Come on!" Fen said determinedly, and the two tried to sprint after this deviation from the Order of Things.

They didn't even have a chance.  They couldn't find her in the crowd.  It was as if she'd expected to be recognised and had had her escape route carefully planned ahead of time.  Commie and Fen paused and exchanged a worried glance.  The last time they'd seen Miki, she'd been kidnapped by a narcissistic and quite insane Aya.  They'd been in the middle of giving chase in a stolen car through the countryside of Japan with the help of Ayaka, Kei, and the Hotel de Plot Contrivance (which was a cover for a secret agency that considered Aya a top threat) when they'd been returned to their homes in North America.  Now, a year later, they were presented with the victim they had been trying so hard to rescue.

And they'd lost her.

They knew that the game had changed.  Wherever Miki went, Aya followed, and wherever Aya went, mayhem ensued.  It couldn't be a coincidence that Miki had chosen this day to arrive in Los Angeles.  But Fen and Commie didn't know what she was planning and whether or not it would involve the members of Morning Musume.  They would have to err on the side of caution and keep an eye on the Musume.

"If she gets my Aibutt in trouble," Fen growled protectively, "I'll make sure she never walks again."

A shocking change for a girl who once would have said such a thing about anyone else trying to put Miki in danger.  But Commie understood.  She could see the fierce loyalty in Fen's eyes, and she knew that she also had to do everything to protect Morning Musume.  Miki may not have bad intentions (wait a minute.  Of course she always has bad intentions... though they're more naughty and strange than dangerous), but Aya would have no qualms about creating a situation that got everyone into danger.  

"Amen," Commie sighed dramatically, placing a hand on Fen's shoulder.  "Amen."

TBC.............
« Last Edit: August 04, 2009, 06:38:48 PM by Comrade »
Sweet dreams, Jab.  Love you forever.

Offline daigong

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2009, 10:07:06 PM »
LOLWUT!!  XD

You like taco, eh? :halo:

Offline Flyp

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2009, 10:07:40 PM »
Hahaha, most excellent!  Daigong's Canadar is weak, for sure xD  can't wait to read more!

Offline JFC

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2009, 11:34:51 PM »
* JFC assplodes from the epicness of the ComFen crack.

:imdead:

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #13 on: July 16, 2009, 01:40:44 AM »
I enjoyed your descriptions of the girls at the airport. :lol: And LOL at crazy Ayaya.
I'd say the plot's getting pretty interesting. :grin:

Offline rndmnwierd

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #14 on: July 17, 2009, 11:56:14 AM »
Omg, fucking crazy awesome. Ah, I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to meet the two peoples of the ComFen epicness. Wow, I just fangirled over y'all a little.

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #15 on: July 30, 2009, 03:16:15 AM »
I'll write you into it even though we didn't meet, r.  I can imagine if you met us.  We'd all be blubbering messes of fangirlism.

Thanks for reading, everyone, and sorry for the long wait.  I hope the AX excitement hasn't yet completely drained away.

I gave a shout out to a hospitalised Jab when I posted up the first chapters of this story.  Things have changed drastically since then.  I couldn't really find the heart to keep writing this until now.  Jab's shining moment comes later in the story.  It was one of the scenes that just came to me in advance (there are a few of those), and I wrote it out a few weeks ago between the writing of the above chapters.  I'll be including it where it belongs.  Let this story - at least the parts that actually happened - serve as a testament to the wonderful time we all had at AX, a time when we were all well and among friends.  We were lucky to have had that chance to gather.  Now here is the continuation, incredibly skewed and out of proportion ;) :

5: Tourette's Lunch

Morning Musume passed through with all the deserved fanfare from the gathered masses.  Forum members chased them right up to their bus, and the girls started muttering things under their breath about how strange Americans were.  Fen and Commie also gave chase, but with decidedly less enthusiasm.  They were both preoccupied with what they had seen.  Commie was looking over her shoulder every second.

"Stop that.  You look like Miki did just now," Fen said, slapping Commie on the head.

"Ow," Commie winced.  "But I'm just worried that Aya might be following us."

Fen frowned.

"Why would she do that?  It's not us that she wants to kidnap."

Commie shrugged.

"She may not have forgiven us yet for that hotel incident.  She may know that we're here and that we're gonna do everything we can to keep the peace.  She may-"

"Ok, ok, I get it," Fen said, covering Commie's mouth with her hand.

And so Commie started to lick Fen's hand.

"EWWWW!" Fen screeched, retracting her hand and wiping it on Commie's shirt.

"Yeah, I guess I shoulda warned you about that," Commie grinned.  "I tend to make things unpleasant for people who try to shut me up."

As Commie snickered, Fen made sounds of disgust and took out some disinfectant.

"What I want to know," Fen said after she'd de-germed her precious hand, "is how Miki escaped and why she came here.  I kinda have a one year mind blank, but wasn't she supposed to be getting married in Hawaii?"

The two struck Thinking Monkey poses.

"Maybe she got off the plane at the wrong stop?" Commie suggested seriously.

Fen hit Commie over the head again (anyone starting to feel sorry for her yet?).

"Stupid.  Planes aren't like trains."

"Oh," Commie said, pouting and looking down at her hands.

It killed Fen (yes, positively killed her) to see Commie pout sadly, so she thought a bit more.

"But maybe you have a point.  Maybe this was her transfer point, and instead of getting onto her connecting flight, she got off here."

Commie looked back up, smiling like a kid.

"In that case, we have to figure out why she did that.  If she was on her way to Hawaii, why didn't she go all the way?  Hmmm..." Fen pondered aloud.

There were simply too many possibilities.  In the end, da duo decided dat dey should proceed with the assumption that Miki had a long while before her connecting flight and had simply wanted to slip icognito into the city for a bit of sightseeing before it was time to take off again.  Of course she would have been a bit paranoid about arriving with Morning Musume after seeing the crowds of fans who would no doubt have recognised her had they been looking for her.  That's why she was wearing the hat and mask and peering over her shoulder.

After that monumentally uninformed (which they did not know yet) decision, ComFen relaxed.

"ACK!" Fen screamed moments after.

"What?!" ComTron asked (Ebc had appeared by the girls' side in the meantime).

"I forgot to call my parents.  We're supposed to have lunch with them, remember?"

Commie remembered that conversation.  It had happened in a split second between the time that Fen received the "MM is here" text message and when the two girls buckled up in the car.  As they'd raced through the Fenrir Household, FenMom had intercepted ComFen at high speed.  The following occurred in real life in script format (for such a thing is possible, surely to Estrea's discontent):

FenMom: Lunch!
Com: Yes!
Fen: We'll call!
FenMom: 'Fore 1!
ComFen: Kthxbai!

And with this, it had been decided that if Fenrir, Comrade, and Ebc were finished up at the airport before one o'clock pm, they would call FenMom and FenDad and make plans to meet for lunch.  Checking their watches, it was 12:59:16pm.  They had forty-four seconds to place the call.  Otherwise, they'd have to fend for themselves for lunch.  Fen ripped her phone out and called with ten seconds still left on the clock.

"Mommy!" she cried out.

"Yes?" Commie asked, looking up.

Fen covered the mouthpiece of her phone.

"Not 'Commie'.  'Mommy'," she explained in a hushed voice.

"Oh, hehehe," Commie said sheepishly, and she shut up.

Fen proceeded to talk to her mother for a full minute while Commie chased her own shadow in a circle and Ebc watched and re-watched his Morning Musume footage.  Finally, a FenFamily decision was reached.

"Chinese food!" Fen announced, and before anybody knew it, the three had said goodbye to the rest of the hip fans ("Lunch with the parents!" Fen called out to Daigong by way of explanation, to which Daigong threw his hands up in the air and cursed lunches with parents all across the globe).

It took a while to get back to the car because Commie kept stopping to take pictures of palm trees.

"Will you quit it?  There's plenty more where we're going," Fen huffed impatiently.

"But... but... palm trees!!" Commie cried out with glee as she held the camera in front of her own face and tried to take a self portrait with the trees.

(You see, there really aren't any palm trees in Canada, and global warming will probably come and cause Canada to sprout palm trees well before the country has the facilities to take over a territory in a tropical location.)

And so went the twenty minute journey back to the car.

Back on the road, Fen drove, Commie dj'd, and Ebc documented.

"Oh my god, I love these pine trees!" Commie squeed as "Genie" played at the stereo system's loudest volume setting.

"Pine trees?" Fen snickered, but Commie was too caught up in her own ramble to hear her.

"I haven't seen pine trees in a long time.  Well, not since I went to Guam a year ago.  But I haven't seen, like, American pine tr- er, wait, Guam is America... But I mean, like, in an everyday situation.  It's been a while since I've seen pine trees."

"Pine trees?" Fen asked again when Commie had finished her incoherent rant.

Commie paused for a moment and took in Fen's question.

"Shut up," she laughed defeatedly.  "Palm trees."

Fen began to laugh uncontrollably as Commie sheepishly muttered to herself to shut up for being so dumb.

They reached the meeting place and met with FenMom and FenDad.  They sat down at a large table with a panoramic view of outside and they proceeded to order.

"What foods do you like?" FenMom asked.

"Dave likes chicken but no seafood, and Commie will eat anything-" Fen started.

"Except shrimp," Commie added.

FenMom proceeded to cross off ninety-eight percent of the Chinese restaurant menu.  She and FenDad then ordered a whole bunch of dishes that they thought would be appealing to all.  Food came quickly, and the crowd dug in.  Ebc started working on a whole half of a chicken while Commie attacked the turnip cakes and Fen savoured those chunky noodles that Commie would have shamelessly stolen from her had they not been full of shrimp.

"So how did the airport meeting go?" FenMom asked.

Upon hearing the question, Fen and Commie gulped, which was quite unfortunate since they had not yet chewed the food in their mouths.  Large, sharp chunks travelled down their esophagi, causing massive pain and discomfort (shhh, they weren't eating soft noodles and turnip cakes.  They had both switched to pork ribs in black bean sauce... yeah...).  Once the pain had receded, ComFen shared a concerned look, wondering how much to reveal.  They hadn't told their respective sets of parents about their colourful adventures in Japan, not having wanted to worried them.  Suddenly explaining it all at a get-to-know-you lunch might be somewhat awkward.  Also, ComFen had to take into account Ebc.  He had his own history with GAM, but it was a happy one.  Nothing dangerous.  They didn't want to involve him in a problem if he could be spared the agony.  They each used their unique telepathic powers to confirm what the other was thinking, and Fen spoke for the both of them.

"Great!  We got to see them."

Commie nodded approvingly.  Fen had pulled off a nonchalant attitude perfectly.  Ten points for performance and an extra two for above average results.  FenParents continued to ask little questions here and there about their time at the airport and, in general, Tron and Com's experience so far in Los Angeles.  It was at some point during a conversation about driver's licences that Commie got distracted by something outside.

"There's a man in that tree!" she cried, pointing out the window.

The table of companions looked out to see leaves falling from a palm tree at a steady rate.  They looked amused and smiled, but Commie began to dance around at the window sill, pulling out her camera and taking video footage and pictures.

"Oh my gahhh!  He's trimming the leaves from the pine tree!!"

Fen facepalmed herself.

"Palm tree," she muttered.

"This is so cool.  I'm going to upload this to YouTube!"

FenParents sweatdropped.

"And then I'll say that people in LA are so brave!!"

Tron ignored it all and re-re-watched his Morning Musume airport footage.

Fen stood up and gripped Commie's wrist, wrenching her back to the table.

"Just eat your food so that we can get out of here and get our badges," she whispered harshly.

Commie gulped (poor lil thing) and sat down morosely, picking at the food and avoiding shrimp like the plague.

"AIBUTT!!!" Fen suddenly screamed, making Tron, Com, and FenParents scream and throw their cups of tea into the air.

Once the four had settled, they looked over at Fen, but Fen just sat there, engrossed in her shrimp noodles and working at them in a concentrated, methodical way.  She sensed eight eyes on her and looked up.

"What?" she asked, eyes wide, mouth full of noodle.

"Uh..." Commie began.

"You..." Tron tried.

"..." FenParents hummed wordlessly.

"Never mind," Com laughed nervously.

And so lunch ended rather silently, rather awkwardly, and, strangely enough, without anymore outbursts from Fen.


TBC.............
« Last Edit: August 04, 2009, 06:39:04 PM by Comrade »
Sweet dreams, Jab.  Love you forever.

Offline Fenrir

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #16 on: July 30, 2009, 03:36:24 AM »
^Ahahahahahah! XD

It's PALM trees Commie! XD :heart: I love that part. And you being so excited over the man cutting the palm tree leaves.
Quote
The following occurred in real life in script format (for such a thing is possible, surely to Estrea's discontent):

FenMom: Lunch!
Com: Yes!
Fen: We'll call!
FenMom: 'Fore 1!
ComFen: Kthxbai!

ROFL. Awesome.

Offline Estrea

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #17 on: July 30, 2009, 03:54:42 AM »
^Oi! How did I get a cameo without my knowing it? Lmao.

Pine trees...XD Come down to Singapore, we has more tropical stuff here. :P

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

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- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline JFC

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #18 on: July 30, 2009, 04:34:26 AM »
Dammit, so many moments of da LULZ, if I were to comment on them all I'd have a post longer than the actual chapter! :lol:


Quote
"Ok, ok, I get it," Fen said, covering Commie's mouth with her hand.

And so Commie started to lick Fen's hand.

"EWWWW!" Fen screeched, retracting her hand and wiping it on Commie's shirt.

"Yeah, I guess I shoulda warned you about that," Commie grinned.  "I tend to make things unpleasant for people who try to shut me up."
Commie licking Fen's hand? Oh yeah, DEFINITELY hawt. :D


Quote
The two struck Thinking Monkey poses.
ComFen:mon unsure: :mon dunno:



Quote
"Maybe she got off the plane at the wrong stop?" Commie suggested seriously.

Fen hit Commie over the head again (anyone starting to feel sorry for her yet?).
Commie --> :bangchair: <-- Fen



Quote
"ACK!" Fen screamed moments after.

"What?!" ComTron asked (Ebc had appeared by the girls' side in the meantime).
Dave's all ninja like that, like an Aussie-Batman without the cowl....or cape....or rubber suit (which is probably a good thing, given how hot it was during AX).  :batman:



Quote
Fen proceeded to talk to her mother for a full minute while Commie chased her own shadow in a circle and Ebc watched and re-watched his Morning Musume footage.  Finally, a FenFamily decision was reached.

"Chinese food!" Fen announced, and before anybody knew it, the three had said goodbye to the rest of the hip fans ("Lunch with the parents!" Fen called out to Daigong by way of explanation, to which Daigong threw his hands up in the air and cursed lunches with parents all across the globe).
More likely than not dai was just pissed that he wasn't going to be able to mooch a free lunch. :P



Quote
*COMMIE'S TREE TALK*
Dare I say, Commie's a tree-hugger (and I mean this in a good way in that she likes seeing trees, not in that she's an overly fanatical biologist that goes all psycho did like how Poison Ivy does in the Batman franchise...though if that were true Commie would look soooooooooooooooo hot in the Poison Ivy outfit. :drool:



Quote
They reached the meeting place and met with FenMom and FenDad.  They sat down at a large table with a panoramic view of outside and they proceeded to order.

"What foods do you like?" FenMom asked.

"Dave likes chicken but no seafood, and Commie will eat anything-" Fen started.

"Except shrimp," Commie added.

FenMom proceeded to cross off ninety-eight percent of the Chinese restaurant menu.
Ninety-eight point six percent, to be precise.  ::)

Commie's allergic to shrimp? :?



Quote
They each used their unique telepathic powers to confirm what the other was thinking, and Fen spoke for the both of them.
Ah, so the telepathy has more uses than just ordering buta kimchee?
 :pig huh:



Quote
FenParents continued to ask little questions here and there about their time at the airport and, in general, Tron and Com's experience so far in Los Angeles.  It was at some point during a conversation about driver's licences that Commie got distracted by something outside.

"There's a man in that tree!" she cried, pointing out the window.

The table of companions looked out to see leaves falling from a palm tree at a steady rate.  They looked amused and smiled, but Commie began to dance around at the window sill, pulling out her camera and taking video footage and pictures.

"Oh my gahhh!  He's trimming the leaves from the pine tree!!"

Fen facepalmed herself.

"Palm tree," she muttered.

"This is so cool.  I'm going to upload this to YouTube!"

FenParents sweatdropped.

"And then I'll say that people in LA are so brave!!"

Tron ignored it all and re-re-watched his Morning Musume airport footage.
Did the kitchen know to not add MSG to the meal? Non-oriental people sometimes react..........

....



....



they react to it.  :nervous



Quote
"AIBUTT!!!" Fen suddenly screamed, making Tron, Com, and FenParents scream and throw their cups of tea into the air.

Once the four had settled, they looked over at Fen, but Fen just sat there, engrossed in her shrimp noodles and working at them in a concentrated, methodical way.  She sensed eight eyes on her and looked up.

"What?" she asked, eyes wide, mouth full of noodle.

"Uh..." Commie began.

"You..." Tron tried.

"..." FenParents hummed wordlessly.

"Never mind," Com laughed nervously.

And so lunch ended rather silently, rather awkwardly, and, strangely enough, without anymore outbursts from Fen.
Fen = :mon blowhorn:

Tron, Com, and FenParents = :OMG: :OMG: :OMG: :OMG

Fen = :mon noodle:

Tron, Com, and FenParents = :mon one:

Fen = :mon huh2:

Commie = :mon huh:

Tron = :mon huh:

FenParents = :gmon sweet: :gmon sweet:

Commie = :mon sweat:



Quote
And so lunch ended rather silently, rather awkwardly, and, strangely enough, without anymore outbursts from Fen.
Fen = :mon noodle:

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: ComFen Adventures ~Order Restored, H!P Saved~
« Reply #19 on: July 30, 2009, 06:16:06 AM »
Uwah, Commie!!! XD The licking of Fen's hand and the Mommy/Commie and the pine trees and.... :P I could go on and on~

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