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Author Topic: Black and Blue (Ch 34 6/4 The End!)  (Read 153063 times)

Offline rndmnwierd

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Re: Black and Blue (Finally! Ch 20 7/29)
« Reply #320 on: August 03, 2010, 02:38:18 PM »
^ Oh me! Me! I was totally suprised by what Panick and I call "The Shimijima" (because it sounds like a funky dance XD ). That made my brain explode a little but in a good way. Risa needs to get back into the action! As much fun as it is to have Risa confined to a bed. 8) Heh, I enjoyed TakaGaki's different opinions on TanaShige but I'm with the bean on this one. :3

Shimijima, I like that. I think I'm going to start using that, lol.

Quote
Please feel like updating sooner. :P *leaves offering*

COOKIES!! *nom nom nom* <.< >.> <.< You persuaded me, but just this once.

Offline rndmnwierd

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Re: Black and Blue (Finally! Ch 20 7/29)
« Reply #321 on: August 03, 2010, 02:42:00 PM »
Chapter 21: It's a Busy Day



Ai’s eyes fluttered open at a sound from across the room. The bedroom was still dark and she lay in confusion for a moment, unsure exactly what had awaken her until she noticed that Risa was no longer beside her. The sound, a quiet groan, came from behind her and Ai rolled over to find the source.

On the floor, on a work out mat, was Risa, stretching out her legs with the aid of an elastic band. Sweat beaded on her forehead and Ai wondered how long she had been at it, obviously trying her best not to wake her sleeping lover. She lay on her back, one foot in the air with the band settled into her arch, pulling hard and knee shaking in an effort to not fold.

Her therapy had come far in such a short time and Ai couldn’t help but be impressed at her determination. She had always known that whatever the girl put her mind to, she would do with every ounce of herself. At this rate, Risa would be able to walk normally in just a few more days. As she watched, head propped up on one arm, Risa finally relaxed, legs falling flat to the ground and panting quietly.

The gunner turned her head and met the eyes of her intent lover, seeming surprised to see her awake. Ai threw the covers off and crawled out of bed on her hands and knees, looking very much like a feline predator. Risa lay there, as if a prey accepting her fate, waiting for this big cat to descend upon her. The demo expert reached her, placing her hands on either side of her ribs, their sides pressed together.

They stared at each other for a long moment, before Risa reached up to lace her fingers together on the nape of Ai’s neck, the older girl complying with the unspoken request by leaning forward to seal their lips together, her hand slowly slipping underneath the gunner’s shirt to rest on her belly.

Their tongues came together fiercely, each girl fighting for dominance. Despite the fact that the young bean was on top of her girlfriend, Ai was clearly winning the battle, her hands wandering underneath Risa’s shirt to caress her smooth back distracting the younger girl enough to let Ai control their kiss. Ai’s parents were at work and there had been an earthquake earlier that had sent the girls scrambling for cover and then comfort with each other, which had inevitably led to this.

Risa sat up suddenly, eyes hooded as she looked down at her girlfriend. Ai slowly slid her hands up underneath her shirt to rest on her stomach, she raised her eyebrows to ask for permission to continue and for the first time, got a nod in response. Hands suddenly trembling, she moved them up gingerly, aiming towards her goal with sweet anticipation. No sooner did her fingertips make contact with the silky bra did a knock rap loudly against the front door.

The two teens jumped apart, startled at their interruption. They stared at each other, unsure as the knock sounded again, but reluctantly untangled themselves from each other and headed towards the door. Ai swung the door open and greeted the uniformed officer, “Yes?” she asked curiously, Risa peeking at him from behind her, an ominous feeling filling them both at his somber look.

“Are you Takahashi Ai? Daughter of Takahashi Jin and Yui?” Now completely worried, Ai nodded slowly, “I’m sorry to inform you of this, but your parents are both dead.” he continued in an uncaring monotone, forging ahead at her shocked look and Risa‘s gasp, “The earthquake this morning collapsed their building and their bodies were among the first to be pulled out of the rubble. Neither suffered, they were killed instantly.” he said as if it were some kind of consolation.

Ai couldn’t speak, her mind kept repeating his words. Dead, dead, dead. Her parents were dead. Dead, dead, dead. Her parents were dead. She didn’t even realize that she was sinking to the floor, too shocked for even tears to come, too shocked to feel Risa’s tears on her shoulder as the younger girl joined her on the ground, too shocked to notice the officer close the door and leave, his grim job complete.

Her parents were dead. Dead, dead, dead. Her parents were Dead Dead DEAD DEAD!!! She shoved Risa away and ran, not hearing the bean give chase; she ran with only one thought in her head, dead, dead, dead.


A knock sounded on the door lightly, a familiar voice calling through to announce herself, “Ai-chan, it’s Saki.” The lovers broke apart, breathing heavily, “It’s time to get up, we have a few appointments today.”

“Alright, I’ll be right there.” Ai called out, planting one last kiss on Risa’s lips before she stood to get ready for the day.


()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Sayumi averted her eyes from the dark, intense stare that came from the cop across the breakfast table, keeping up a conversation with Eri next to her. Lately, Reina had seems to come to some sort of personal conclusion and ever since, she had been making eyes at the con. It made the normally unflappable Sayu feel nervous and she was definitely sure she didn’t like that.

Long ago having finished her meal, Reina was waiting for Sayumi to finish hers, staring intently as she picked at her eggs. She couldn’t help the smirk that crawled across her face at the obvious unease she was putting the con through. Suddenly, Sayu excused herself and beat a hasty retreat, Reina hot on her heels.

They traveled through a dark, mostly unused back hallway, Reina grabbing Sayu’s arm when she was close enough and swinging her around to trap her against the wall, “Sayumi.” she whispered, pressing against the struggling girl, “Why do you look so afraid of me?”

“I’m not afraid of you. Leave me alone.” Sayu reached up to push against Reina’s shoulder, quickly having both arms slammed against the wall, wrists constricted in a gentle grip. The cop slid her thigh in between the con’s legs, pressing upwards and causing her to gasp. “Reina.” she breathed when the yankii ground slowly against her.

Warm lips pressed against Sayumi’s ear, “I want you.” was whispered harshly, teeth taking a nip. “I want you like this.” Hips thrust forward and the con felt her knees weaken, “And I…” Reina paused, pulling back a little to stare into Sayu’s now open eyes. Her own dark orbs conveyed a million feelings that neither could name exactly.

The con moaned and Reina released her, backing away a step, one hand lingering to caress Sayu’s cheek. Then she turned and walked away, leaving the con mostly stunned at the event and wanting more.


()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()


Eri was sitting on the couch in one of the manor’s numerous living rooms, watching television placidly until Sayu stumbled into the room, looking quite dazed. The cop blinked at her slowly, sleepily as she flopped down next to her, “You look like Reina just trapped you in the hallway and did naughty things to you.” When the con turned wide eyes to her, Eri matched them in size. “She did?!”

Sayumi could only nod and they were quiet for a long moment. Suddenly, the stunned con burst into laughter, catching a surprised look from her companion, “I can’t believe she did that to me. I thought I had a docile little kitty on my hands, only to find out that big housecat was actually a wild cat!” She held her stomach as she continued to chuckle, “I think I like it. She suddenly became that much more challenging.”

Eri laughed quietly at her hilarity, not quite understanding, but feeling amused anyway. Suddenly, a subdued ringtone sounded throughout the room, wiping Eri’s smile away. She answered it quickly in a business like tone, “Yes, Chief.” She received her instructions seriously, “I understand, sir.” Sayu watched her curiously as her expression changed to a suddenly lighter one, “Yes, father, I know. I will. I love you, too, bye.”

“You usually call your father ‘Chief’?” Sayumi asked quizzically.

“I do when he’s the Chief of Police.” Eri said ironically, to the con’s surprise.

“Keichi Sawajiri is your father?” She exclaimed, “But you don’t even have the same last name!”

“That’s because I’m adopted.” Eri explained easily, “I grew up on the streets and in an orphanage. My father adopted me when I was fourteen, when his wife was still alive. She couldn’t have any children of her own, so he wanted someone at least. Before my name could be changed, though, she died in a car accident and he decided to just keep me anyway.”

“Heh~” Sayu hummed in understanding, “Did you ever know your real parents?”

“My father left my mother when I was really small, so I don’t know him at all, but I remember my mother clearly.” She absently reached up to clutch her left ear, rubbing it gently, “She died of illness when I was ten.”

“Did they take you to the orphanage after that?” The con inquired, quite interested in the story.

“No, I lived on my own for a while. Believe it or not, most street people take care of their own, kids especially stick together in large groups. Kids are also the most violent.” she finished ominously, dropping her hand from her ear. Not sure what to say to that, Sayumi just kept quiet. “But I’m here now, none the worse for wear.”


()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()


“Wow!” Lin exclaimed as Aika quickly and expertly shed herself of the locked handcuffs, “Show me again!” she pleaded, causing Jun to chuckle from the sidelines.

Aika, who seemed to recover quickly from the shock of her first kill, grinned and locked her hands together in front of her, “Okay, watch.” she held out a bobby pin and began to bend it as she spoke, “Make it look like this, after you pull the plastic ends off, and shove it into the lock, using this bend to push down the little post. Then just twist until…” and she did, the handcuffs opening as if by magic.

“That’s so cool~!” Lin exclaimed, clapping her hands, “Now show me the other way again!” she grinned eagerly.

Aika plucked a safety pin from her collar, locking her hands in front of her again, “If you can’t pick it, shim it.” she continued with a smile at the hackers infectious excitement, “*Handcuffs resize automatically to fit their captives by means of serrated teeth that go through a one-way ratchet. If you have a thin, stiff piece of wire- say the tip of a safety pin-” Aika said ironically, “you might be able to shim the ratchet open. To do this,” she went on, demonstrating as she talked, “slip this between the teeth and the ratchet. If done right…*” she gave a little grunt and the cuffs opened enough for her to slip her hand through, “Viola!”

The hacker applauded again, “Okay, I think I get it. I can try now.” She allowed Aika to cuff her hands in front of her and accepted the already bent bobby pin. She gingerly placed it in the lock and wiggled it slowly, adjusting it to press down on the little pin inside. After a few minutes of fiddling, Aika and Jun watching her closely, the handcuffs clicked and opened widely, “I did it!” Lin exclaimed, jumping up and down, “Yay!”

“Good, now try the shim.” Aika instructed and the hacker complied quickly. It only took her a few seconds to be able to slip her hands free and she cheered again, not noticing the other two exchanging an evil, mischievous look. “You know, Lin,” The thief began as the hacker allowed Jun to guide her into a chair, “Usually they won’t cuffs you with your hands in front of you.” The chair was simple and wooden, with three vertical beams connecting three horizontal beams to make the back.

Lin squeaked when her hands were forcefully pulled behind her, the cuff chain slipping against one of the vertical beams as she was cuffed. She tugged on the metal entrapments, unable to move them at all. The bobby pin was placed in her hand and the safety pin was clipped onto her belt loop, “If you can’t pick it, shim it.” Jun reminded her, “We’re going to get some lunch,” she said, placing the hacker’s cell phone on the floor about twenty feet in front of her, “Call us when you get free and we’ll pick you up something.”

“Guys? Wait!” Lin tugged at her cuffs as they walked out the door, “Guys!? Guys! This isn’t funny!” But the only response she got was their laughter as they left. “Damn it.” she muttered when she was sure she was alone. Guess she had no choice now.


*This explanation is taken, pretty much verbatim, from the book More Forbidden Knowledge by Matt Forbeck* Good book, really interesting.


()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()


Ai was passing through the hallway, having just come back from her duties, when she heard a familiar voice belting out an unfamiliar song. “**Well, if they freed me from this prison, if that railroad train was mine, I bet I'd move out over a little farther down the line. Far from Folsom Prison, that’s where I’d want to be.**” Her English accent was actually pretty good and Ai stuck her head into the room where the voice floated out and found Lin, handcuffed to a chair and singing loudly as she played with the cuffs behind her.

“Lin Lin!” Ai exclaimed, catching the girl’s attention and causing her to jump, dropping her bobby pin on the floor, “What happened!?” she marched over and kneeled in front of her.

“Oh, Aika is teaching me how to pick handcuffs.” Lin explained, trying ineffectually to reach the fallen bobby pin. She sighed when she couldn’t and reached for the safety pin on her pants, “It’s hard to do this when you can’t see, so I think she wanted me to practice. I haven’t had any luck so far though.”

“Where are they?” Ai asked, knowing that wherever Aika was, Jun wasn’t far behind.

“They went for lunch.” The hacker made a face when she stuck herself with the pin in the hand, “Ouch. They’ve been gone a while now, though, I wonder what they got.”

“They just left you here?” The demo expert asked, appalled, “Handcuffed to a chair!?”

“Um, yeah.” Lin replied as though that was obvious, “It’s good practice.” Her eyes popped open and the cuffs clicked, “I did it!” she pulled her hands forward, cuffs still hanging off of one of them. It was gone with a few quick pokes, “I did it!” She stood and jumped around, then dived for her phone, clicking a number in her contacts. As the phone rang, she bounced on the balls of her feet, face a perfect figure of innocent happiness, “Jun! I’m free! I want cake! Buy me cake!” she demanded of the older girl before hanging up. She turned to Ai, still on the floor, “Let’s go get some lunch to celebrate, Ai-nee-chan.”

Getting to her feet, Ai patted the hacker on the top of her head affectionately, she really liked it when the younger girl called her that. She really was like a little sister to Ai and the demo expert strived to be a good big sister for her, “Sure, anywhere you want.” she let the girl take her by the hand and drag her off, following behind cheerfully.

**This song is, of course, Folsom Prison Blues by the indomitable Johnny Cash**


()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()


“Okay guys, time to talk more strategy.” Risa said, sitting at the head of the war table, “You all did good on the attack on the club, minimal civilian casualties and we gave them a huge blow by taking out their muscle. Good job, Aika.” Risa nodded at the young thief, who appeared a little uncomfortable at the praise, “Now, we have to press the advantage, Tanakacchi?” she nodded to the younger girl, who stood and spread out some papers on the table.

“I’ve just received some intel on a shipment of weapons that are coming in from Vietnam to a port in Tokyo. Now, it’s taking a very roundabout way to get here, but there it is and it should arrive at about noon tomorrow. According to my intel, it’s a very big shipment and a target that could set them back at least a few weeks, maybe long enough for us to do some more damage.” She pointed out a building, “This is where they’ll unload the cargo and store whatever they can’t carry that day, this would be the best place to launch an attack, but I think we’ll face heavy resistance.”

“And to best deal with that resistance?” Ai asked as she studied a map of the dock.

“Start high and take out the spotters first, then work our way down and take out everyone else we come across as quickly and quietly as possible. Once we hit the first floor, whoever’s down there won’t have any back up and we can take them out easily.” Reina finished, sitting down and crossing her legs.

“Sounds like a good plan to me, but it’ll just be you seven again.” Risa reminded, “Will you guys be okay or do you need more support?”

“I want to go this time.” Lin suddenly spoke up, catching the attention of the whole table, “I want to help you.”

“No way.” Ai answered immediately, “It’s too dangerous.”

“I’m a big girl Ai-chan, I can take care of myself.” Lin reasoned gently, “I know I’m not as able as Jun Jun or Gaki-san, but I’m no slouch. I’ve been training with everyone else and learning how to shoot. I’m as good as Aika is and you let her go.”

Ai faltered, unable to argue with such reason, “I- well. Alright, you can come, but you stay with me.” she compromised. Lin was too happy to argue; her first field mission. How exciting!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



So it's a bit of a filler, but I still think there's a lot going on here. What do you guys think?

Offline kawaii beam

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 21 8/3)
« Reply #322 on: August 03, 2010, 07:44:56 PM »
....thats the worst way to find out that ur parents are dead....like right when ur gonna do it with ur gf only in the next min find out that they're gone?! god! ur so evil to ai-chan! shame on u!

plus LOL at linlin, she just talks so casualy to ai while she's tied up XDDD its pretty cute~ XDD AILIN SISTERLYLOVE FTW~!

and tanashige.....dont get me started plz~! XD

and eri could never be more right, kids are pretty brutal...atleast she's out of that now?
 :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :thumbsup :wub: :inlove:
kawaii loves u~ X3*hugs* XD
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Offline stefy

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 21 8/3)
« Reply #323 on: August 04, 2010, 09:04:50 AM »
Hahaha I so love the way you write LinLin.. SO CUTE! Even when she's being 'bullied' by Aika and Jun she's still somewhat oblivious to it XD

“And I…” Reina paused, pulling back a little to stare into Sayu’s now open eyes. Her own dark orbs conveyed a million feelings that neither could name exactly.

Woo tanashige~ "And I..." What? And I what~??? Why did you make Reina end her words that wayyyy~?!
One thing tho... can you pleeasee pleaseee write more events that include more of Eri????

Btw.. ShimiJima sounds funky-funny. But somehow for some reason I keep picturing a zebra.. Cuz in japanese zebra is shimauma, doesn't sound alike tho *shrugs* XD

Offline Kuji

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 21 8/3)
« Reply #324 on: August 04, 2010, 12:03:22 PM »
Yes! Operation cookies is a success! Sad TakaGaki history, I hope Ai doesn't think of this everytime she's with Risa now.

Wow, Sayu just confused me. Was avoiding Reina just one big trick to attract her? @_@ I don't know but either way, TanaShige is super fun to read. Awww, Linlin is so naive and cute. I love how happy she is when she gets out of the cuffs and lets Junjun know she wants cake. X3 ...Junjun better buy her cake! Nothing had better happen to her on this upcoming mission... ergh, I'm worried. D:

Everyone do the Shimijima! :cow:

Offline oddball

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 21 8/3)
« Reply #325 on: August 04, 2010, 04:22:16 PM »
Ha nice to see Reina's true nature come out  :lol:

Poor Lin, left on her own while Jun and Aika got food  :cry: glad she got out though :cow: Hope she gets her cake! I hope she dont get hurt on the mission, why do I have a dad feeling about it? :panic:


Offline WhiteMeat89

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 21 8/3)
« Reply #326 on: August 05, 2010, 12:21:32 AM »
I'm so glad you're back to regularly updating!
about where you mightve gotten stuck on the previous chapter...the fight scene to move the attack on the next gang closer?
haha I'm loving how Reina's starting to make the moves on Sayu, its frikkin adorable!
I had myself a pretty good laugh at LinLin's handcuff "training" too cuz I can so imagine that whole scene in my head

btw, im still wary about eri telling gakisan not to trust her however many chapters ago. i hope shes not gonna turn into an antagonist!

looking forward to your next update!

btw, this is my absolute favorite fanfic! just thought id let you know that!

Offline amEthystx

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 21 8/3)
« Reply #327 on: August 06, 2010, 07:21:40 AM »
!?


BABY TREE~~~!!!!!!

A little late, am I? XD   :on drench:

C.20: Ohhhh... 2 weeks have not pass yet?! <- LOL! :P Risa had always been the "leader" of the group and Ai-chan only had it in name..but seems like Ai-chan is up to it now.. She is running the whole gang now~!

An insight on their younger days.. I thought their first kiss happened when they were watching a sunset? and Ai-chan ran away before the bean went to hide at her old house?  :?

Training Lin2 is  :lol:

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“Do you want me to fight her or try to eat her?”
my god~ lol

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Lin Lin between them, cuddled into Ai’s side and sporting a black eye.
XD


C 21: :( so the next part of the flashback would be how Ai-chan had left the bean and how the bean had crumble to the "dark" side?

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“I can’t believe she did that to me. I thought I had a docile little kitty on my hands, only to find out that big housecat was actually a wild cat!”
nice description XD and it proved that Risa's advise was right~ haha.

Haha~ Lin's is really the prefect material for jokes. Everything that is going on around her sounds really hilarious and cute at the same time. XD I would love more of educating Lin to be a "bad-ass" lessons! lol

Take care tree tree~

 :mon dive:

Offline Beecubed

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Re: Black and Blue (Not an update, but worth a look. 4/08)
« Reply #328 on: August 08, 2010, 10:54:09 AM »
@Beecubed - You read the whole thing in two days?! Holy crap!

Well yeah, I did say I was going to read this - been interested for too long. ^__^
It's not hard to read something if it manages to hold your utmost attention, you know  :nervous a bit of a long read, yes, but at the end of it I still wanted more... much much more!  :thumbsup doesn't matter if it's long (actually better if it would be!) as long as it's GOOD.

YAY for the updates!!!!!!!!!!!
 :heart: :heart: :heart:
Thanks rndm! *squishes you*


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Thanks for the praise, though I'm not sure how I feel about the pressure, lol, but I'll do my best.
Risa really does dominate, but she's my personal fav, so why not ;)
Ah, thanks for more praise, you know, I could really get used to all this ego stroking. XD
Thanks so much for your review, it was really thought out well. Kind of embarrasses me to think someone put that effort in for little ole me. :oops:

No pressure!  8)
You have the whole story planned out, or are you letting the events unfold as you go along? Just a little something I'm curious about all writers. :P
Yeah, just that I haven't really read a fic where Risa's THE BOSS, so this was a real pleasant treat to read!  :wub:
Hahhaa, I wasn't really meaning to stroke your ego (T__T) or anything like that, but when I'm very happy and pleased about something, I will go on a rave. It's all honest too, so I damn well think you deserve it!

You're welcome!  :love:
It really wasn't an 'effort' at all, no... I love writing up comments for other people, especially when I've enjoyed their stories so much. I think it's only fair that if you read something that somebody has put in a lot of effort to accomplish, you ought to show your support and appreciation. I guess I do that through comments :)  (that and the fact that I know, as a writer myself, how much a good comment can motivate you!).

OK, now onto the chapter comments...


Chapter 20: Get out of the Way

Ummm... I think this is something good that all writers should do, especially those who take a bit longer to update... provide mini previous-chapter/story recaps just so readers can follow on more easily  :nervous

With all the fics I've been reading lately, it's been hard keeping track. I had to go back and skim-read the previous chapter to remember. Or maybe that's just me and my horrible memory.

Anyway,

Poor Gaki. She was born to take charge and lead and be all awesome. Her having to take things slow and sit around on her ass all day must make her feel so hopeless. She needs to be in the thick of the action, where she belongs!
But but but! TakaGaki! How much Ai cares for her Gaki!  :wub: I loved the little flashback too, which delved a little more into their past's uncertainties.

Aika  :cry:

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“And Lin, pretend Aika is a cheeseburger.”

 :lol:


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The two were curled up together on the bed watching a movie, Lin Lin between them, cuddled into Ai’s side and sporting a black eye.

 :rofl:


Quote
“Ah, you never did get the whole story did you? I was living there because Ai freaked out on me when I kissed her. It took a whole month for her to let me come back, but when I did, I told her I loved her every chance I got. At first, she was surprised and I thought she might just kick me out again, but she didn’t. It took months before she stopped getting that wide eyed deer in headlights look when I said it.” Risa recalled with a smile.

“When she got used to it, then I stepped it up; I kissed her, on the cheek at first and whenever she wasn’t paying me any attention, which was often. Ai was a spacey kid.” The gunner chuckled, eyes getting cloudy in her memories, “The first time, well, second time I kissed her on the lips, I thought she was going to hit me, but instead, her face just turned completely red.”

 :wriggly:
So gorgeous!


Quote
The bean slowly came into consciousness, groggily becoming aware of herself and her position laying face up in bed. Just as her eyes began to flutter open, a soft pressure against her mouth caught her attention. Instinctively, she moved her lips, feeling the warmth try to mimic her actions. Finally, she realized just what was going on and focused on Ai’s face right in front of her.

Startled, she broke away, panting lightly, “Ai? What-?” but she was cut off when those lips fell upon her own again. This time, much more awake than before, Risa threw herself into the kiss, overjoyed when Ai responded in kind and even poked her tongue out to run across the bean’s lips. Before things could get too heated, the older girl parted from Risa’s mouth.

“I love you, too.” she said simply, before diving back in again.

 :wub: :inlove:
That is so romantic. *sigh* I'm loving every moment of TakaGaki here. You rock with these scenes!

Thank you for the advice, Gaki-san.  :bow:
TanaShige!

I love the action that takes place next, you really have a knack for writing this kind of stuff~! Kick-ass Musumes are totally my kinda thang  :yep:
I was kind of hoping for some TanaShige moments (much like TakaGaki had their awesome moments during chapter 7.5!) amidst the chaos...

Saki & Maimi =  :shocked:

Poor Aika, another trauma to go through.
When will you give her a break?!


Chapter 21: It's a Busy Day

I adore the first TakaGaki section of the chapter. It was really powerful, and definitely gives Ai-chan & Gaki even more edge to them. This is what I like about your writing - the way you slowly reveal these things, how it adds to the characterisation. It was such a  :inlove: flashback scene between TakaGaki, until the officer came bearing that devastating news. Loved the way you wrote the thoughts and feelings that took place right after!

Awwww, feisty kitty-cat Reina finally taking some initiative. Glad she's sorted out her feelings, I also have a feeling these two getting together isn't going to be too much of a problem.  :grin:

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“And I…”

And I...

WHAT?

What did Reina want to say????

Damn, you better make sure you don't end up just leaving that hanging now, OK? I'm so very curious...

 :O


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“You look like Reina just trapped you in the hallway and did naughty things to you.” When the con turned wide eyes to her, Eri matched them in size. “She did?!”

:rofl: The turtle is psychic!

More Kame onegai  :bow:

PHEW!
Good to see Aika in higher spirits, which is a little strange considering she has just murdered somebody for the first time... hope she's not keeping all her feelings bottled up!

She and the Pandas are so cute together  :love: I also request more of these three  :twothumbs

LinLin is absolutely precious here during her handcuffs training. ZOMG. You're spot on with how you write LinLin, really!  :nya: I can so imagine all of that happening.

And you threw in a bit of AiLin sisterly love too!  :luvuluvu:

Pity we won't be seeing Gaki-san in action, but looking forward to seeing how LinLin is going to fare, and what's going to happen from here... so far, most of their plans have been seen through to the end without too many complications. I wonder if these girls will face a situation where everything will go wrong (e.g. they can't make it back to headquarters, they're split up and barely surviving/being captured etc..........). Yes, I'm shamelessly asking for more drama.  :twisted:

Definitely didn't feel that this was a filler chapter... filler chapters usually aren't so awesome  XD Lots of things did happen, and more time spent on developing characters, so no complaints on my end!  :heart:

Great updates! Thank you very much!

PLEASE UPDATE SOON!  :heart:

Offline badsaints

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 21 8/3)
« Reply #329 on: August 12, 2010, 01:50:53 PM »
Filler chapter? No way! :smhid

So we see a little of TakaGaki's history :love: Too bad it has to marred by the terrible news. Ai got some consolation from Gaki right? Please don't tell me this was one of the reason they broke up :(

Oooh I like where this TanaShige is going. The bunny gonna strike back? *being hopeful here* :lol:

Offline rndmnwierd

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 21 8/3)
« Reply #330 on: August 26, 2010, 04:19:28 AM »
Finally getting around to comment replies, sorry for the lateness.


@Kawaii Kunai? - Um, yeah, that was kinda evil, sorry, :sweatdrop: but it still happened that way...
Lin is so innocently cute. I'm really stressing the whole sisterly bonding thing so that you guys won't be like, "I want AiLin romance!" that is one pairing I totally cringe at, not because I don't like it, but because Lin Lin is so.... Innocent. I just have trouble putting her together with Ai9romantically), who always seems a little jaded to me. I actually like Lin with Risa, if that makes any sense. The bean has an innocent streak to her as well. At least, in my eyes... Fun Fact: I also like to see the Pandas paired and Aika Lin together.
And Eri doesn't live on the streets now, at least, but can you ever really leave a gang?



@stefy - Lol, I like Lin a lot so I'm happy to portray her in a way that makes other people like her, too. :D
Haha, yeah, I left the Tanashige like that on purpose, don't worry, a couple more chapters and everyone will be happy about that, I promise.
Eri... I will try to concentrate on her some more in the third arc. As for now, I have the rest of this arc planned out and I can't really fit her in as a major role. But I'll do my best.
ShimiJima, zebra. I laughed XD



@Kuji - Yeah, just for you, though. XD
Maybe Ai does think about it sometimes, but it's not so bad that it'll keep her from getting it on with the bean.
Sayu is crazy.... Period. I don't even know why she acts the way she does, but as long as you're enjoying it.
Lin Lin... I like Lin Lin, but this is only fiction....
 :cow: ShimiJima!



@oddball - Reina is the yankii, after all. Every seems worried about Lin Lin for some strange reason. Could it be because I haven't proven how evil I can be? :twisted:



@HaPo-san - Regularly is all in the perception, I guess, but I'm trying to get back into the groove. As for where I got stuck, actually, not there. It was the sparring session with LinKa. I have trouble writing the pup for some reason...
I love Tanashige, they both have the potential for such poison tongues, makes for some great convos between them.
Maybe I will turn Eri bad or maybe she's just so good that she imagines herself as having sinned. I haven't decided yet, but I had her say that for a reason, real or imagined slight, though it may be.
Aww~ This isn't that great, but thanks. :oops:



@Baby Sticky - Late? You? Nooo~ :roll:
Ai just didn't know she had it in her. Now she's learning that maybe she does!
They did share their first kiss by the stream, Ai just misspoke.
I like Lin Lin~! XD
I'm not sure when I'll put in Risa's assault on her brother's killer. Maybe in a few chapters yet.
But Lin can never be truly badass XD
 :jphip:




@B^3 - LONG REPLY IS LONG!! :panic:
Again, thanks mucho for the praise. I loves it. :wub:
I have the rest of the arc planned out, basically, but I keep tweaking a few things here and there that inspire me. I have a little notebook and in  that I have the basic scenes of each chapter written down in short hand. Some things are written on the side sideways, some stuff is crossed out and yet other stuff is written over. It's a mess, pretty much XD

I'm interested in seeing some of your fics up here. If you write as well as you reply, you'll probably put us all to shame!
Yeah, I probably should recap, but the problem is.... I can't always remember what I wrote before... :sweatdrop:
So I usually have to skim read my stuff while I'm writing the next chapter, since I think I've contradicted myself in a couple spots already.

I'm hoping to reveal past Takagaki slowly like this, with random flashbacks and such. It's my lazy way of avoiding a side story. XD XD

Yeah, I'm mean to Aika. Really, I don't have a problem with her, so I'm not sure why...

But I love Lin! I think I've said that, like, six times now. :lol:

Yeah, sorry about the lack of personal interaction in the action scene at the end, I couldn't really think of anything...

Reina will maybe get to finish what she was going to say someday. Or maybe I'll just drag it out a while. :lol:

I'll see what I can do about more drama, maybe you might get more than you can handle in the last arc...

I love your replies.  :wub: :wub:






@baddie -
Quote
Please don't tell me this was one of the reason they broke up
:whistle:
In her own way, she'll strike back. Like a subtle snake, she is.

Offline rndmnwierd

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 21 8/3)
« Reply #331 on: August 26, 2010, 11:12:03 AM »
WARNING!
This chapter is a little graphic(at least I think so) so here's fair warning for the squeamish. (Or maybe it's my imagination, but I think this warrants a warning...)






Ch. 22 : And I've got things on my mind




“There’s the dock.” Reina said quietly as the team sat perched upon a building across the way from their target. They had decided to scope out the lay of the land together before splitting into groups, “I count three floors total. Four men on the roof, at least three on the top floor, five on the second and the bottom is unknown.” She looked to Ai, sitting next to her for their next orders.

Those two sat kneeling on the edge of the rooftop with the others gathered in a semi circle behind them, holding onto their favored non lethal weapons. Aika and Sayu both had a single, metal baton extended and ready, while Saki held two. Jun fiddled with her brass knuckles and Eri double checked the laces on her heavy boots, her dart gun holstered at her side. Reina also had a tranquilizer in addition to a long bo staff that was also carried by Ai and Lin Lin. The younger cop had been sure to teach the girl some basics in it before handing it over to them.

“Reina, you and Sayu take the first floor main entrance; Saki and Eri take the side door. Jun, Aika, second floor and work your way up. Lin and I have the roof top and we’ll move down to help with the third floor. First floor group, wait for the signal that the other guards are taken out before you move in and we’ll all meet downstairs to help out.” Ai ordered seriously, face scowling just a little in anticipation of what they were about to do. They all headed off to do as instructed, trying to remain inconspicuous in the broad daylight.


()()()()()()()()()()()()


It was too easy for the inexperienced duo to make their way up to the roof via the fire escape that had only been guarded by two men. Ai went first up the final ladder, peeking over the brick lip of the roof and spying a man standing right in front of her, but looking away. The demo expert took the chance to get a look at the landmarks, a few very large ventilation units that made for perfect hiding spaces.

Looking around to make sure the coast was clear, Ai climbed the rest of the way  up and wasted no time in swinging her staff into the back of the man’s head as hard as she could. He dropped like a rock with a muted thud and she pulled him down the ladder and onto the fire escape, motioning Lin to follow her back up.

Once they were on the roof, they skittered to the nearest unit, hiding in it’s massive shade. Scoping out the roof again, they spied one man walking in a slow perimeter and the other two leisurely talking to each other next to the door that led into the building. They decided to wait for the walking man to make his way to them before striking and then split up to deal with the other two.

They slowly tracked the walking man’s progress, trying to time their attack to when he rounded the unit they were using for cover, “Hit him hard.” Ai whispered, gesturing for Lin Lin to take the shot. Their hearts were pounding in their chests as their target made his way ever closer, gripping their weapons white knuckled. Finally, the hacker darted from her spot and swung her staff as hard as possible, the poor, unsuspecting guard walking head first into the impact.

He was out before he knew what hit him, beginning to fall towards the edge of the roof. Eyes widening, Lin grabbed the lapels of his jacket and tried to pull him backwards, his dead weight almost knocking her off her feet instead. Ai scrambled to help, grabbing Lin with one hand and the unconscious guy with her other. It took a mighty effort, but they finally managed to drag him to fall onto the rooftop, falling on their own butts at the sudden shift in weight. The quickly glanced around to see if the other guards had noticed the commotion, but they were still engrossed in their conversation.

Breathing a collective sigh of relief, the two relative rookies exchanged a look and then carried on with their plan. They split up, slowly making their way behind two a/c units closest to the remaining men and looking towards each other for the signal. Ai held up three fingers and slowly counted down; when she closed her fist, she rushed from her hiding place and swung her long weapon at the guy who’s back was turned to her, seeing Lin do the same from the corner of her eye. The guards barely had time to register what was coming from behind his buddy before they were out on the ground. Pleased at a job well done, the two high-fived and then made their way into the stair well.

The stairwell opened out smack in the middle of a long hallway, Ai cracked open the door just a smidge, straining her ears to pick up any nearby sounds. When she heard nothing, she poked her head out enough to have a look around; empty. She quickly gestured for Lin to go left and she would go right and they scampered to the end to the hallway, peeking around the corner.

Both saw one guy walking away from where they were currently were, slowly patrolling the third floor, and turned to indicate it to each other. Ai nodded and motioned for them to go in for the kill, both running on light feet after the guards and clobbering them over the head. They drug them across the tiled floor back towards the stairwell and into an empty office.

“Let’s search the rest of the floor for the last guy together.” Ai suggested and they slowly made their way down the hallway, back to back, checking each of the rooms they came upon thoroughly. When they had made it back to where the stairwell was and still no sign of the last guy, they paused, letting their guard down.

“Where is he?” Lin asked, poking her head into the closest room again, Ai peering over her shoulder, “Do you think Tanaka-san was wrong?” A sudden click of metal made them freeze, the unmistakable sound of a hammer being cocked echoed in the hallway.

“She wasn’t wrong.” Said the missing guard menacingly, “Now, come out into the hallw-gerk!” He was cut off as a powerful blow from behind sent him sprawling to the ground.

“Looks like you guys could use a little help.” Jun commented cheekily as Aika relaxed her baton at her side.

“Thanks,” Ai sighed, pressing a hand to her chest, “Is the second floor taken care of?” When she received nods from her companions, she grinned, “Alright, time to give the signal.


()()()()()()()()()()


Eri fidgeted with her dart gun, adjusting her grip as she and Saki stood outside the side door, “What do you think the signal will be?” she finally asked the other girl. They had been surveying as much as they could and had deduced that there were only three men inside the door, but who knew how many farther in.

Saki shrugged and before either could say anything else, the sound of glass breaking caught their attention and they looked up to the unconscious body of a guard fly from the second story. They weren’t the only ones who heard the noise and they heard the concerned chatter of the other guards as they came close to the side door.

Both smirking at their luck, the two girls kicked in the metal doors as hard as they could, the force sending two of their opponents to the ground. A well placed dart sent the third one out before he could even think to retaliate and Saki knelt down to bash the one closest to her with her double batons. As he tried to scramble to his feet, Eri casually shot another dart into his head and he flopped backward, out cold.

“Too easy.” Saki remarked and they headed farther into the building.


()()()()()()()()

Reina and Sayu exchanged a glance as the body hit the pavement behind them. The guy would undoubtedly live, but her would have a few killer aches when he woke up. They’d been standing rather quietly before, savoring the tension between them, when the signal had landed near them. Now the charged into action, busting through the doors and running into the first open room, which looked like it was meant to be an office.

Two men stood inside, looking up in surprise at their intrusion, but the girls marched over to them, brandishing their weapons before they could raise any firearms. Reina’s bo staff made contact with the guard’s knee first, sending him down, before connecting with his head.

Sayu jabbed her baton into the second man’s gut and as he bent over in pain, pulled her knee up hard, one hand on the back of his head insuring that she met her mark. Both men collapsed to the floor in what was only an instant. The girls grinned and shared a high five before moving on.


()()()()()()()()()()()


The larger group burst from the stairwell into the main room in a flurry of action, immediately meeting a group of five men leaning up against some crates. On the far side of the room were four more men who looked up at the commotion, but had no chance to move before the other doors in the room burst open to admit Sayumi and Reina and Eri and Saki.

Having the advantage of reach, Lin and Ai took the two men farthest away, extending their staffs into a practiced thrust that landed on gut and chin respectively. Lin swung her weapon upwards as her opponent bent double and connected with his forehead, while Ai had no need to when the guard hit the ground face first.

Aika and Jun drove forward towards the last three, the thief swinging her baton widely and the hitter jabbing both fists at once. One of Jun’s reinforced knuckles came into solid contact to the nose of the guy on the right, blood spurting out as he gave a cry, while the other just barely missed the slightly faster guard. Not missing a beat, Jun recovered with the hand that had missed and sent it careening into the jaw of the wounded man, knocking him flat.

The unharmed guard fumbled at his belt for his sidearm, dropping it in his haste. Both looked at the gun on the ground and then up at each other, the man grinning sheepishly and putting his hands in the air in the motion of surrender. The hitter just chuckled and planted her fist hard enough in his forehead to send him out cold.

Aika had missed with her first strike, but pressed the attack, her wild, wide swings keeping him off guard enough to not be able to retaliate. Finally, she stepped forward, kicking upwards hard, and the man groaned, crossing his eyes and clutching his sensitive parts. As he sunk to the ground, Aika smirked and gave one last swing, delivering a mighty blow to the head.

The thief and hitter high fived cheerfully and Lin bounced over to latch onto Ai as they all turned to find the last four opponents summarily dealt with.

“Way to go, guys!” Ai called out as the group hopped over the low crates to join up in the middle of the warehouse.

“Looks like we found what we came for.” Reina chimed in, pointing to a massive stack of 2X4 boxes against the far wall that were stamped with ‘Military Surplus.’ One box stood out from the rest, waiting on a tabletop, apparently removed from the rest of the pile to have been inspected. Ai made her way over to this one and grabbed a nearby crow bar, easily prying open the top. What she saw inside made all of the mirth drain from her face.

“Check the other boxes.” she ordered, tone brooking no arguments and the group scrambled to do as she asked, picking up crow bars and hammers to do the job. Each pulled out and pried to crates open as Ai removed one of the boxes contents and examined it in her hand.

“What is this?” Aika asked, lifting a brightly colored video game controller in the shape of a small shot gun.

“A decoy?” Saki murmured, pulling out a tiny child’s cowboy revolver. She clicked the trigger a few times and the chamber rotated.

“This can’t be, my intel was good!” Reina cried, throwing an orange capped Beretta replica to the ground, “My man-!”

“Is probably dead.” Eri finished for her, sliding the lid back into place.

“But why would someone go through all this trouble?” Jun asked quizzically. They all jumped when Ai suddenly shoved the crate full of toy guns to the floor violently, spilling the contents over the concrete.

“Can’t you see!? They wanted us out of the manor! They’ll attack the manor now! They’ll attack…” she choked on her words, sending a panicked look to the group, “Risa.” she finally breathed out, as though pained.



()()()()()()()()()()()()()



Reina pushed the van’s gas petal to the floor, the vehicle charging valiantly back to the mansion. Inside the girls all clutched various firearms to their chests, solemn looks on their faces. Sayumi suddenly gasped out from the passenger seat, directing everyone’s attention to a plume of thick black smoke that rose from over the tree line. Unconsciously, they all turned to Ai, watching the worry flood her features and then leave, a murderous look remaining behind. Her resolve seemed to solidify and it gave them strength, they were determined not to lose the manor. Or Risa.

The van screeched to a stop in front of the gate, now hanging off it’s hinges, panting in exertion and the girls all piled out, taking just a second to assess the scene. The large, beautiful front grounds which used to be lush and green now bared scorch marks and blood stains. The extensive fountain spurted red, a body floating in it face down. All across the property, screams rang out; of pain, of fear, of loss. Glints of shell casings littered the grass, shining in the midday sun.

The manor itself was riddled with bullets holes and blood, bodies hung half out of windows and the front doors were blown right off. The whole third floor was engulfed in flames, smoke pouring from every broken window. The girls saw suited men chasing down housemaids, laughing all the while as if they were playing a game and then shooting them in the back when they got too tired. The ones that survived, immobilized, were pinned down and raped, screaming and sobbing hysterically throughout the heinous act.

Any gang members were hunted down mercilessly and either shot or stabbed to death, and those were the lucky ones. As the girls moved into the house, gunning down every Tanaka member they saw, they spied a few men with flame throwers strapped to their backs making their way slowly through the rooms and corridors to set fire to everything and everyone in their path.

Coldly, Ai took aim at one with his back turned, smirking at a few young, cowering cooks in the corner of the kitchen, “So you’re chefs, huh? How about I do some cooking now?” he chuckled, fingering the trigger.

The demo expert unloaded on him with her assault rifle, tearing into his back and immediately paralyzing him before killing him outright, the flame thrower tank hissing as the flammable gas escaped, but not exploding, “Get out of here.” Ai commanded the frightened girls, “Go! Run!”

They heard louder screams coming from out in the backyard, so they headed in that direction. It was a massacre, Tanaka members were mercilessly murdering the innocent household workers and ganging up on the actual members of the Niigaki group. Even when they tried to surrender, they were still killed, execution style. Ai shook her head and took aim at the nearest Tanaka member, shooting him in the head and watching it explode like an overripe melon, “Kill them all!” She ordered cruelly, marching out farther into the yard, the others not hesitating to follow her order.

As Saki began to make her way out to join them, to her right, three people came down the stairs in suits. She turned and took out two of them instinctively, but paused, pointed her rifle at the third one. Maimi gave her a wide eyed look of fear, eyes crossing slightly as she focused on the barreled leveled at her nose. They froze, regarding each other in silence, then Maimi turned and ran up the stairs, Saki hot on her heels.

As they came to the hallway in the east wing second floor, the Tanaka captain picked up speed, but Saki paused, reaching behind her to pull out her baton and extend it in a swift movement. She took only a moment to aim and then let it fly true, striking Maimi in the back of the knee. The much taller girl toppled to the ground and Saki sprinted over to her, rolling her over and punching her hard across the cheek.

“How could you take part in this?!” The little Niigaki Captain cried, tears welling up in her eyes as she buried her fist in her lover’s abdomen again and again. Finally, Maimi seemed to gather the strength to push her off, planting her feet up in the middle of Saki’s chest and kicking hard. The smaller girl flew through the air and landed against a half open door, swinging it all the way open and falling inside.

Groaning, Maimi rose and stumbled over to Saki, grabbing her by the collar and picking her up easily. The Niigaki Captain kicked hard, aiming for ribs, her left foot bounced off a hip, but her right made contact and air whooshed from Maimi’s lungs as she dropped her lover. The smaller girl immediately dove forward, fists flying in a frenzy. Maimi brought her arms up to shield herself and was slowly forced to back away, stumbling over the edge of the couch and causing one of Saki’s blows to miss it’s mark.

The Tanaka girl took advantage of the miss and lunged forward, grabbing onto the still extended arm and pulling Saki towards where her force was already heading, driving her knee up hard in the process. It drove home into the smaller girl’s chin, clacking her teeth together audibly and knocking her dizzy for a crucial moment. Maimi pressed the attack, raining kicks against her lover’s lower unprotected half.

Saki stumbled, reaching down to try and fend off the assault, but Maimi just switched her target, now kicking higher into shoulders and chest. The Niigaki Captain fell backwards, balance lost, and hands immediately grabbed her collar again, hoisting her up. Saki kicked ineffectually, her feet bouncing harmlessly off Maimi’s elbows. Looking to where the Tanaka girl was heading, Saki ‘s eye’s widened when she saw the window. The other girl was intent on throwing her out of it!



()()()()()()()()()


Eyes narrowing, Ai leveled her rifle at the frantic Tanaka member that was trying to crawl away on his hands, broken legs hanging uselessly behind him, “Please! Mercy!” he cried, clawing the grass and dirt.

“Mercy?” Ai scoffed, “Would you show us any? Have you?” She kicked him over onto his back to glare at him in the eyes, wanting him to see his killer fully before she pulled the trigger and pumped three rounds into his heart.

The grounds fell quiet as the rest of the Tanaka members in the backyard had been dealt with. A sudden bellowing laugh caught all their attention and the girls turned to the place where the back double doors had previously stood. “Wow, I’m impressed.” Akio applauded, “I had to admit I didn’t think you had it in you. Though, she knew you would come.” He yanked hard on something held in his right hand, revealing that he had Risa’s hair in his grip, still attached to the gunner.

Ai gasped, taking in the sight as her lover was dragged on her knees painfully to kneel in front of Akio. Blood poured sluggishly from numerous wounds across her body, her left sleeve was ripped off and dark bruises marred the lightly tanned skin of her upper arm, slashes criss-crossed her torso and thighs, showing more bruising beneath her clothes. Her head hung low and one hand weakly grabbed onto the eldest son’s wrist.

“She was quite adamant, you know. ‘Ai-chan will come for me.’ she insisted to me again and again, no matter how many times I hit her and cut her. She must love you very much, but she was right, here you are. And now you’re going to die.” He shook his captive, gaining a mewling cry, “Put your weapons down and kneel down in a line facing me here.” When they hesitated, Akio pulled a pistol from the place next to the hilt of a short sword and pointed it at Risa’s head, “Do it!”

Ai could barely hear him, eyes locked so intently on Risa as they were, begging her silently to lift her head and let her know that she was alright. As if sensing this, the gunner jerkily raised her eyes from the ground, something that seemed to be with colossal effort, and made eye contact with her lover. She had a shallow  cut on her jaw and eyebrow and there was a gash on her lip, but she’d never looked so beautiful to Ai than at that moment. Slowly, Risa shook her head in the negative, begging the demo expert to not give up.

Ai was just satisfied that her beloved bean was alright, “Go ahead.” she motioned to the others and they began to slowly put their weapons down.

“Good, now over here.” Akio demanded, pointing with the barrel of his pistol to a spot just a the bottom of the stairs that led to the backyard. Ai was the first to comply, the others following suit uneasily. When they were all kneeling, the eldest Tanaka son smirked, “Good, now, who’s first?” he chuckled, pointing at each girl in turn, “Eenie, meenie, minie, moe.” he chanted, finally landing on Ai, “You are it.” the pistol cocked back loudly.

Without any warning, Risa reacted to the sound, whipping her seemingly useless arm around to grip the sword hilt that was sheathed on his belt. In a smooth motion, she brought it high behind her head, blade skyward, and Akio gasped as they hair in his grip suddenly went limp with nothing now attached to the other end. Risa continued her arcing motion, the sword sinking into his gun hand and knocking his shot astray, his bullet and thumb flying to the side.

Akio cried out as the captive he thought he’d beaten into submission twisted around on the balls of her feet and thrust his own sword into his gut, his air choking off in pain, “You were right about one thing, Akio.” Risa hissed, turning the sword painfully and pulling with all her strength to slide it through his soft belly, “I do love her, very much.” the eldest Tanaka son looked down uncomprehendingly, hands going down to clasp his stomach. Risa pulled the sword out of him and he jerked, choking now on the blood welling up his throat. He moved his hands away from his wound and stared at his intestines falling on the outside.

Reina cringed as he fell to the ground, looking away from her brother’s unseeing eyes. Sayumi grabbed her gently and helped her up, gently leading her back to their weapons. Ai lunged forward and embraced her bloody lover, sharing a short and sweet kiss, “Let’s finish cleaning up the rest of the trash.”


()()()()()()()()()()


“We’re enemies now.” Maimi whispered, pausing at the window. “I’m sorry.” she looked at her lover with teary eyes, then hoisted her higher.

Saki was ready and grabbed onto the thick window pane, using the leverage to pull herself even higher, the hands popping free of her collar. She wrapped her legs around Maimi’s neck and twisted hard, sending the taller girl flying out the already broken second story window herself. The Tanaka girl gave a cry that was quickly cut off with an oof as she hit a prickly bush and bounced off, hitting the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of her.

Slowly, Maimi crawled to her feet as, above, Saki righted herself and the lover’s met eyes, both more than  a little relieved. Suddenly, gunfire erupted downstairs and Maimi turned her attention to the lower level, her mother running out of the building with a few bullets chasing after her. Erino grabbed Maimi and yanked her in the direction of the gate, “Akio’s dead! He’s dead, let’s go!”

They were quickly followed by the surviving lieutenants and gang members, all running frantically for their lives. They were followed by the angry occupants of the manor, gunning down as many of them as they could before they scurried off the grounds. Looking down, Saki saw Ai, Risa and the rest emerge from the broken doors, the gunner and demo expert with their arms wrapped around each other, “Hey!” she called down, “The manor’s still on fire.” she motioned upwards, but they seemed unconcerned.

“It’s alright, we still have the hotel.” Risa explained, smirk on her bloody face, still dragging the short sword behind her, glinting red in the sunlight, “And soon, we’ll have a new manor to play around in. The Tanaka manor will be ours!” she pumped her fist in the air, the sword flashing, and the rest of the gang cheered.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I actually wasn't planning on posting this tonight, but a sudden burst of inspiration helped me complete it. So here you go! :D


BTW, here are some awesome banners, courtesy of Kawaii Beam! :wub:







Thanks girl! *patpats*

Offline kRisZ

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 22 8/26)
« Reply #332 on: August 26, 2010, 02:39:03 PM »
Quote
“Ai, no matter what you say, I’m going to do as I please. You’re my lover, not my keeper, it’s not your responsibility to tell me what I can and can’t do.”
Whoa!

Quote
What’s more was that she wasn’t sure if she felt uneasy because she didn’t think two girl’s should be together or if she actually felt the same way and was afraid of what other people would think.
Hmmm... nee

Quote
Now, she was just an actor playing a part, she was no longer Takahashi Ai, whose heart belonged to Niigaki Risa, now she was Takahashi-dono, who had work to do.
Eh?!

Quote
And Lin, pretend Aika is a cheeseburger.”
Damn  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Quote
“Do you want me to fight her or try to eat her?”
Holy cow  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:

Quote
she didn’t even get a chance to chuckle before she was tackled to the ground by a possessed Aika, fists flying.
Now, that's ouches  :lol:

Quote
Rubbing the back of her head sheepishly, Reina followed, looking down at the unconscious hacker, “Whoops, my bad.”
XD  XD  XD

Quote
“Yes, get her alone tomorrow and corner her, state you feelings bluntly and honestly, take charge. She’ll melt, but it will take her time before she’ll come to you. Keep it up, let her know that you’re waiting, get up close and personal if you have to, but don’t go farther than she’s comfortable with or it will scare her away. The trick is to be in control while letting her feel that she is.”
Nice  :D

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It took months before she stopped getting that wide eyed deer in headlights look when I said it.
Very lovely  :D

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“The first time, well, second time I kissed her on the lips, I thought she was going to hit me, but instead, her face just turned completely red.”
She knows how to move  :D

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“I waited six weeks before I did it again, then a month, then two weeks. Eventually, I was kissing her every day until I got into the habit of waking her up with a kiss in the morning.”
Hmmm... very educational  :D

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“That’s so sweet.”
Indeed  :wub:


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Sayumi averted her eyes from the dark, intense stare that came from the cop across the breakfast table, keeping up a conversation with Eri next to her.
Now, she's working FIGHT~O!  :onioncheer:

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The con moaned and Reina released her, backing away a step, one hand lingering to caress Sayu’s cheek. Then she turned and walked away, leaving the con mostly stunned at the event and wanting more.
Very clever  XD

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“You look like Reina just trapped you in the hallway and did naughty things to you.” When the con turned wide eyes to her, Eri matched them in size. “She did?!”
:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

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“We’re going to get some lunch,” she said, placing the hacker’s cell phone on the floor about twenty feet in front of her, “Call us when you get free and we’ll pick you up something.”
Tsk tsk tsk  :lol:

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“Jun! I’m free! I want cake! Buy me cake!” she demanded of the older girl before hanging up
Very innocent  :D

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Lin was too happy to argue; her first field mission. How exciting!
Really innocent... Reminds me of Dancing, Sing, Exciting  :D


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They’d been standing rather quietly before, savoring the tension between them
:D

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“Can’t you see!? They wanted us out of the manor! They’ll attack the manor now! They’ll attack…” she choked on her words, sending a panicked look to the group, “Risa.” she finally breathed out, as though pained.
:scared:

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“Kill them all!” She ordered cruelly, marching out farther into the yard, the others not hesitating to follow her order.
She's now killing people  :(

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Saki ‘s eye’s widened when she saw the window. The other girl was intent on throwing her out of it!
:shocked

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“It’s alright, we still have the hotel.” Risa explained, smirk on her bloody face, still dragging the short sword behind her, glinting red in the sunlight, “And soon, we’ll have a new manor to play around in. The Tanaka manor will be ours!” she pumped her fist in the air, the sword flashing, and the rest of the gang cheered.
:cheers

Damn, that was bloody entertaining to read  :D

Offline kawaii beam

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 22 8/26)
« Reply #333 on: August 26, 2010, 11:58:32 PM »
holly shi~ girl! XD so much drama! XDDDD i loved how ailin were just smaking dudes left and right XD plus i cant believe risa is so swift! XD thats a creative way of cutting her hair though XDD ubber nice. plus now ai's killin ppl?! shiaa~! o.o note to self never piss ai off....u could "dAi"*shot*

ubber great all together and i cant wait for more rndy~ X3 and you're oh so welcome my love~! X3*hugs*
please visit kawaii-chan's avie's and siggies!

Offline kRisZ

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 22 8/26)
« Reply #334 on: August 27, 2010, 01:34:34 AM »
Previous comment deleted  :D

My question was too much, sorry about that  :kneelbow:

Offline Beecubed

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 22 8/26)
« Reply #335 on: August 27, 2010, 06:38:44 PM »
@B^3 - LONG REPLY IS LONG!! :panic:

I hope that's not a sign of distress  :(
If I ever distress you with a LONG REPLY! again, let me know  :thumbsup 'Coz yeah, I'm pretty good at summarising too  :lol:


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Again, thanks mucho for the praise. I loves it. :wub:

 :love:
No problem. :) Those who deserve, will get.


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I have the rest of the arc planned out, basically, but I keep tweaking a few things here and there that inspire me. I have a little notebook and in  that I have the basic scenes of each chapter written down in short hand. Some things are written on the side sideways, some stuff is crossed out and yet other stuff is written over. It's a mess, pretty much XD

It sounds a lot more organised than my way of doing things  :nervous
I have yet to come across a fanfic author who writes things bit by bit. Thought it would be interesting to ask. Thanks for the insight!  :)


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I'm interested in seeing some of your fics up here. If you write as well as you reply, you'll probably put us all to shame!

 :O
No no no... please don't place such high expectations on me! I'm not that good...
You think I reply well? xD I mean, I can see that I might ramble on for longer than the average commentator... but I'm not sure that translates into me being good at writing  :lol:
I still think at the end of the day, the writing itself doesn't matter much if you've got a story to wow your audience with. So I'm working on my stories. ^__^ But I might ask you guys what you'd like to see out first so I can focus on that, since I have so many (20+ stories @_@) in the planning process right now >.<


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Yeah, I probably should recap, but the problem is.... I can't always remember what I wrote before... :sweatdrop:

That's... kind of strange  XD
You would think that you'd have to remember what you wrote before so you can continue writing!  :lol:


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So I usually have to skim read my stuff while I'm writing the next chapter, since I think I've contradicted myself in a couple spots already.

Oh, I see. I haven't noticed any contradictions yet, if that's of any comfort to you  :sweatdrop:


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I'm hoping to reveal past Takagaki slowly like this, with random flashbacks and such. It's my lazy way of avoiding a side story. XD XD

Lazy it might be, but I think it flows very well and fits nicely into the structure of the story. If you chuck it all in at once, I don't think it would have the same effect. Keep up the good work!  :yep:


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Reina will maybe get to finish what she was going to say someday. Or maybe I'll just drag it out a while. :lol:

 :grr:

Only kiddings. ^__^
You can play with your readers all you want. I do have a pretty vast store of patience. As long as you let us know someday.


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I'll see what I can do about more drama, maybe you might get more than you can handle in the last arc...

Bring it on!
 :bigdeal:


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I love your replies.  :wub: :wub:

I love your story.  :wub: :wub:


---

Well, enough blabbering (and you certainly do not have to respond to that blabbering!), onto the chapter comment!

Ch. 22 : And I've got things on my mind

Time for some kick-ass Musume action!!!  :yep:

As usual, LOVE LOVE LOVE the action. Even inexperienced Lin Lin & Ai-chan are totally :brucelee:
I wonder what kind of sissy men they must have encountered here to be able to secure so many K.Os  :lol: You know, because sometimes, a little extra work, sweat and blood can really help liven the imagination  :w00t:
Although it's still very nice to see them all open a can of whoopass without putting a strand of hair out of place  :drool:


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the two relative rookies exchanged a look...

I had to put on my thinking hat here...
What kind of look did they exchange???

Like....  :bigdeal: or :onionwhip: or :cool2: or :shy1: or :on woohoo: or  :mon sweat: ???

I dunno. I guess it's just my curiosity at play again. I like being able to see all the character interaction in my head, and when I came across this one little line, I seriously had to stop and think for a moment. Lol.


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“A decoy?” Saki murmured

All smooth sailing since the beginning of the chapter, this really made me  :OMG:
Finally! The extra suspense I've been looking for~!  :tama-apeshit:


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“Can’t you see!? They wanted us out of the manor! They’ll attack the manor now! They’ll attack…” she choked on her words, sending a panicked look to the group, “Risa.” she finally breathed out, as though pained.

:mon scare:

OH MY RISA!

I actually wasn't thinking that far ahead just yet, but of course you can count on Ai-chan to be worrying over her bean... holy crap!  :shocked:


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The manor itself was riddled with bullets holes and blood, bodies hung half out of windows and the front doors were blown right off. The whole third floor was engulfed in flames, smoke pouring from every broken window. The girls saw suited men chasing down housemaids, laughing all the while as if they were playing a game and then shooting them in the back when they got too tired........

 :mon scare: :mon scare: :mon scare:
That was.... kind of disturbing to picture in my head, actually... but nice, effective descriptions. I could see the chaos and terror  :panic:  and amongst it all, truly concerned for Gaki-san  :bleed eyes:


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Ai shook her head and took aim at the nearest Tanaka member, shooting him in the head and watching it explode like an overripe melon, “Kill them all!” She ordered cruelly, marching out farther into the yard, the others not hesitating to follow her order.

Oh my... I was thinking that Ai-chan would be fretting all over looking for Gaki-san and landing herself into trouble as a result... yet she's just transformed into a killing machine herself. As always, it's hot when she's this ruthless :inlove:

I also want to know the deal between Maimi and Saki. I can't remember if you'd ever elaborated on their history together? Because I can't seem to remember...  :sweatdrop: We know a little bit... they're lovers (or ex-lovers?) and they're now on opposite teams... but did you ever give us more information than that? Maybe this warrants a read through again if you've already done the explaining... >.<


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Ai gasped, taking in the sight as her lover was dragged on her knees painfully to kneel in front of Akio. Blood poured sluggishly from numerous wounds across her body, her left sleeve was ripped off and dark bruises marred the lightly tanned skin of her upper arm, slashes criss-crossed her torso and thighs, showing more bruising beneath her clothes. Her head hung low and one hand weakly grabbed onto the eldest son’s wrist.

 :mon wtf:
GAKI-SAN!!!!!!!!!
She must've really put up a fight!  :farofflook:


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Ai could barely hear him, eyes locked so intently on Risa as they were, begging her silently to lift her head and let her know that she was alright. As if sensing this, the gunner jerkily raised her eyes from the ground, something that seemed to be with colossal effort, and made eye contact with her lover. She had a shallow  cut on her jaw and eyebrow and there was a gash on her lip, but she’d never looked so beautiful to Ai than at that moment. Slowly, Risa shook her head in the negative, begging the demo expert to not give up.

I loved the way you described this.  :heart: :heart: :heart:
TakaGaki love is truly something to be reckoned with, hey?  :mon cry:
Gorgeous moment!


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Without any warning, Risa reacted to the sound, whipping her seemingly useless arm around to grip the sword hilt that was sheathed on his belt. In a smooth motion, she brought it high behind her head, blade skyward, and Akio gasped as they hair in his grip suddenly went limp with nothing now attached to the other end. Risa continued her arcing motion, the sword sinking into his gun hand and knocking his shot astray, his bullet and thumb flying to the side.

I was expecting somebody to die here. T_________T
But other things work well too... like how::::: Gaki-san in a moment of creative pwnage, swiftly cuts a lock of her hair, embeds the blade into Akio and proceeds to disembowel him...
Have I mentioned before HOW HOT GAKI IS IN YOUR STORY?
 :mon crazyinlove:


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“It’s alright, we still have the hotel.” Risa explained, smirk on her bloody face, still dragging the short sword behind her, glinting red in the sunlight, “And soon, we’ll have a new manor to play around in. The Tanaka manor will be ours!” she pumped her fist in the air, the sword flashing, and the rest of the gang cheered.

:onioncheer:
I can't wait to read about how they're going to go about claiming the Tanaka manor! Aiming high!  :bow:

Hope we get lots of sexy Musume action (of all sorts!) in the coming chapters!
Thanks for updating, rndm, I enjoyed this chapter immensely and WANT YOU TO UPDATE LIKE NOW!
But as always, I will be patiently waiting...
 :love:

Offline badsaints

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 22 8/26)
« Reply #336 on: August 28, 2010, 10:23:02 AM »
Wow I really feel bad for Reina, seeing your brothers going down one at a time :O

So Ai changed her mind about killing evils? Bad-ass Ai sure is damn hawt :lol:


Quote
“Let’s finish cleaning up the rest of the trash.”
Cool line XD

Offline Sancho

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 22 8/26)
« Reply #337 on: August 28, 2010, 10:14:18 PM »
Man how I missed this story and it's more than 5 months. Thanks  rndmnwierd for continuing. This is one of my favorite piece and i will feel bad if it left hang.  I'll get this one finish as much as I can then i'll do the same for the other old and new stories as well. I feel good that I'm back with you guys.

Offline xanimefreak13x

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 22 8/26)
« Reply #338 on: September 01, 2010, 01:58:14 PM »
Ch.21:
Omg, I read this a while back and haven't commented on it, sorry! :sweatdrop: sooo, hmm, I can't remember my first reactions/impressions right now... let's see here...
Aww, cute Takagaki moment in the beginning~ :wub: Ahh, so that's what the back story to their past is... I'm guessing that moment made quite a huge impact on their lives? I mean, it's like their first? make-out session... and BAM! this horrifying news hits. :cry: it's quite a hurdle to get over.
Ooo, hehe, Reina is finally making her move!  :cow: That was one HAWT scene!  :wub: Awesomeness to the max~!
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“No, I lived on my own for a while. Believe it or not, most street people take care of their own, kids especially stick together in large groups. Kids are also the most violent.” she finished ominously, dropping her hand from her ear.
WOAH~ A shocking revelation from Eri.  :O

Ch.22:
I REALLY LOVED THIS CHAPTER!  :wub: :cow: Maybe that's cuz I'm a little crazy and sadistic... :P Or that I just really love fighting scenes, especially when they involve deadly weapons. Ahaha.
AiLin taking down the guards  :onionwhip: was super cool~ but I felt like it was a little TOO EASY... and I guess I was right. :( I couldn't seem to picture the inexperienced duo knocking out some buff guards that are like twice their size with one hit, there HAD to be something to it! The guards were a little 'unguarded' much? :smhid
BUT danng AiLin going in all stealth mode was awesome~ MetalGearSoild style! w00t~ :on crazygran::shifty:
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Saki shrugged and before either could say anything else, the sound of glass breaking caught their attention and they looked up to the unconscious body of a guard fly from the second story.
LOL! I love the signal :lol: it's so creative~
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“Can’t you see!? They wanted us out of the manor! They’ll attack the manor now! They’ll attack…” she choked on her words, sending a panicked look to the group, “Risa.” she finally breathed out, as though pained.
OMFG! :mon wtf: I KNEW IT WAS TOO EASY! I think my heart stopped and went into major panic mode when I got to this line. :frustrated: Way to keep up the suspense~  :cow:
Your description of the manor... is so darn awesome. It's so descriptive and graphic. I love it.  :wub: It's written so perfectly, as if I read it out of some action novel. :) Not that I like massacres or anything, (or maybe I do?) but yeah. It's all good. :twothumbs
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Ai shook her head and took aim at the nearest Tanaka member, shooting him in the head and watching it explode like an overripe melon, “Kill them all!” She ordered cruelly, marching out farther into the yard, the others not hesitating to follow her order.
I seriously love all this graphicness. You are really amazing for coming up with all these scenes! And, personally I like this cruel and cold-hearted Aichan that's killing people and blowing people's brains out. :P It adds more pizazz than just knocking em out cold. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Even though it would hurt them... for cruelly killing others :(
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“Mercy?” Ai scoffed, “Would you show us any? Have you?” She kicked him over onto his back to glare at him in the eyes, wanting him to see his killer fully before she pulled the trigger and pumped three rounds into his heart.
Oh gosh, I really love this line. Sadist Aichan...mmm...
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“She was quite adamant, you know. ‘Ai-chan will come for me.’ she insisted to me again and again, no matter how many times I hit her and cut her. She must love you very much, but she was right, here you are. And now you’re going to die.”
:gyaaah: NOOOO~ Gakisan!!! Aichan loves you! Don't give up and let that guy kill you!
Quote
Slowly, Risa shook her head in the negative, begging the demo expert to not give up.
Noo... :cry: I knew it would come down to this. ACK. If I was in Risa's position, I would advise Aichan to not give up either, cuz people like that are heartless and even if you do give in, they'll kill you. :smhid
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Akio cried out as the captive he thought he’d beaten into submission twisted around on the balls of her feet and thrust his own sword into his gut, his air choking off in pain, “You were right about one thing, Akio.” Risa hissed, turning the sword painfully and pulling with all her strength to slide it through his soft belly, “I do love her, very much.”
OMFG! CRAZY AWESOME SKILLZ!  :mon woo: I love this line too. lol. Actually, there's a lot of lines that I love, but if I quote them all then... it'll be too long, yeah. ahaha.
Quote
Ai lunged forward and embraced her bloody lover, sharing a short and sweet kiss, “Let’s finish cleaning up the rest of the trash.”
Another line that I love.  :nervous I like how Aichan called em trash. :lol: It's too cool. This line's like one of those in them action movies near the end when the sun is setting or something. lol.
Not gonna quote the end, but I loved how Risa pumped her fist in the air with her victory sword. Too awesomely cool.

All in all, this chapter was soooo COOL! All the suspense kept me on the edge of my seat! (well, I wasn't in a seat, but you get my point) It was soo exciting~ all of the action kept blood rushing through my system and left me in a panic mode, so I needed to catch my breath a few times after holding it for too long. :lol: You write this wayyy too well.  :mon lovelaff:


Offline oddball

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Re: Black and Blue (Ch 22 8/26)
« Reply #339 on: September 01, 2010, 03:16:17 PM »
Well I think it's safe to say that chapter wasn't dull  :lol:

Man Ai in angry pissed off mode is pretty scary, Risa going all Kill Bill with the sword was cool however, I wonder how Reina will react now that big brother is dead?

Hmm why is Maimi so  determind to hurt Saki now especially after the last chapter?

Well back to the hotel it seems....


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