That Which Binds Us"Sit down."
The voice was peremptory, commanding. The target sighed, rolling her eyes.
"I've got this. I can do it myself..."
"
Reina..." Ai's voice brooked no opposition, although Reina would have very much liked to try. Ruefully, the cat-like girl stared down at the offending fingernail. It was about time to remove them in any case, and the chipped nail simply hastened that decision.
What she didn't get though, was Ai's stubborn insistence at helping her remove them. Reina certainly knew how to do it herself. The younger girl rubbed at her fingers. Maybe if Ai hadn't seen the bruising around the chipped nail, she might not be overreacting so much. Reina thought that perhaps she shouldn't have gotten so agitated earlier, but how else was she supposed to react?
Reina blinked when Ai returned with an armload of materials, everything from nail polish remover to nail clippers and assorted other supplies needed to safely remove the fake nails. Clearly, it wasn't the first time Ai had done it. Naturally, as a talent, there were times where they got the fake nails for the job, so it made sense that Ai knew how to remove them.
"I can do this myself." Reina whined again, holding her hands close to her chest. Ai gave her a narrow look, holding out one hand and waiting. Reina glowered at her briefly, before reluctantly extending one hand for Ai to start trimming them off.
Silence reigned for a few minutes as Ai focused on the job, bent attentively over Reina's fingers. For someone who was usually so careless, Ai seemed to be taking infinite care here. Reina shifted uncomfortably in her chair. The silence was getting to her.
"Ne, Ai?" Reina began tentatively. Ai paused, looking up. Reina desperately tried to think of something intelligent to say.
"Uh...do you wear fake nails often?" Reina blurted, deciding on a safe topic. Ai raised an eyebrow, before continuing with her work. Her voice was amused when she did reply, after a moment.
"Do you see me wearing them often?"
Reina cocked her head to one side, considering. "Um, no..."
"There you have it." Ai lowered Reina's hand. "The other one please." Reina obediently extended her other hand.
"Why don't you?" Reina continued, not wanting it to be quiet again. She just wanted to hear Ai's voice, really. It made her feel better.
"They're a pain to remove." Ai paused when she reached the chipped nail, running her thumb down Reina's bruised finger. "And they get in the way when I'm gaming."
Reina couldn't help but laugh at that. "So that's your real reason?!"
"Do you have any idea how difficult it is to press the buttons with nails like that? I prefer to keep mine short." Ai replied just a tad petulantly, taking care not to hurt Reina's fingers as she continued her work.
"I'll take your word for it." Reina chuckled at the idea. Ai really wasn't idol material, despite her natural good looks. Yet despite her careless attitude towards such things, Ai was incredibly serious about her career, and never let her public life cross into her personal one, and vice versa.
Reina watched as Ai carefully applied petroleum jelly to the skin around her nails, the sensation making Reina giggle. Ai pursed her lips in amusement, repeating the gesture for the other hand before gesturing for Reina to dip her fingers into the bowl of nail polish remover Ai had prepared earlier.
"I'll go make something for us to eat." Ai said, preparing to stand while Reina's fingers were still soaking in the bowl. To her surprise, Reina suddenly reached up and grabbed her arm, her fingertips still dripping.
"Ai." The older girl turned back, putting on a smile for Reina, but the younger girl was not fooled. Her grip did not relax on Ai's arm, and her wonky eyes were serious.
"You don't have to pretend it's ok." Reina said seriously, worrying at her lower lip with her teeth as she wondered how best to voice her concerns. "Reina doesn't really know how to help, but if you want to talk, Reina will listen. If you want to cry, it's alright too." Reina lowered her head, scuffing at the floor with her feet. "Reina doesn't want you to be sad, Ai."
Ai blinked back tears at the quiet little speech, touched by Reina's heartfelt concern for her. Swallowing the rising lump in her throat, she sat back down, trying to process her thoughts. Seeing Reina's hand still on hers, Ai carefully pried it off and put it back in the bowl, smiling faintly.
"Reina, I'm alright, really." Ai chose to stare at the clear bowl of nail polish remover instead of Reina's eyes. "I'm glad you're here with me. So, it's ok..."
"Liar."
Ai jerked up at the flat accusation, staring right into Reina's eyes. The yankii's eyes glittered dangerously, her flat gaze penetrating. Ai set her jaw stubbornly, not willing to give in either.
As expected, Reina's temper flared first.
"You're always like that!" Reina exploded, her feelings running haywire. "You never tell me anything, always keeping everything to yourself. You always do everything on your own..." Reina slowed, taking a breath.
"It was the same earlier, wasn't it?" Ai's gaze had dropped slightly, her shoulders squared defensively. Despite that, she still held Reina's hands still in the bowl to prevent the younger girl from taking them out.
"You were just going to let him do whatever he wanted to you..." Reina's voice shook with a strong emotion, barely held in check. "You were never going to tell me if I hadn't heard it myself, weren't you?"
Ai said nothing, but her inability to meet Reina's eyes was an answer in itself. Reina's gaze darted to where Ai still held her hands within the bowl.
"Why are you..." Reina started, halting reflexively for a moment as she struggled to find the right words. "Why don't you ever think of yourself? Why are you so kind to others?"
To me, the little voice in Reina's head added.
"I didn't want you to get hurt..." Ai whispered, her voice barely more than a murmur. Her hands were trembling over Reina's, and tears were already building in her eyes.
Reina winced at the broken tone, though it infuriated her at the same time. She just couldn't understand how Ai could be so annoyingly blind and so damn stubborn at the same time.
"You don't get it!" Reina shoved herself upright, shaking free of Ai's hold. "Reina can take care of herself! Reina doesn't need you to protect her! Why can't you just..." Reina gripped the table with one hand, unheeding of the fact that she was dripping nail polish remover all over the place.
Ai bit back a broken sob, her tears falling without restraint now. Reina didn't need her. The fact hurt. She hadn't expected it would hurt this badly. It felt worse than when Yamashita had betrayed her. It was like being rejected all over again.
Ai lowered her head, the tip of her chin almost touching her collarbone. Wrapping her arms around herself, she tried to stop herself from shaking, her fingers digging deeply into the skin of her arms. The pain from that act helped to distract her from the numbing pain she felt within. She dug her fingers in mindlessly, barely aware of the fact that she had drawn blood.
"Stop that!" Reina's voice cut through her miserable haze, and she felt strong hands shaking her shoulders. Ai blinked back tears, her breath coming in shuddering gasps. Reina looked angry, but she was also panicked. Ai calmed briefly, but the dark despair was still there, clawing for a way through. Her eyes were empty as Reina stared into them, trying to find a way to get through to her.
"Why do you keep hurting yourself?" Ai stared blankly, though the pain in Reina's voice seemed to get through to her. Reina breathed in deeply again, struggling to master the mixture of fear and anger within her. Fear for Ai, anger at her own helplessness. She hated to see Ai like this, but she didn't know what to do. It was frustrating, especially for someone like Reina. She wanted to get straight to the point, but the complications made her want to scream.
To hell with the complications. Reina hissed out a long breath, steadying herself.
"Reina hates it when Ai is hurting, ok? Reina doesn't want Ai to be unhappy. Reina is happy when Ai is happy." Reina moved her hands to hold Ai's face up, so that they were looking straight at each other. Ai's lips moved wordlessly, and Reina continued.
"Reina wants Ai to be happy." The yankii closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against Ai's, feeling their breaths mingle at the closeness.
"So, Reina won't let Ai be alone anymore." The words were little more than a whisper, yet Ai could feel the sincerity of the promise. "Reina will make Ai happy again."
"Reina doesn't hate me?" Ai's voice was barely audible, almost too afraid to hope. Reina wrapped her arms around Ai, wanting Ai to understand how much she cared.
"Reina likes Ai best."
How could I hate you? Reina thought to herself.
Ai whimpered, her chest heaving painfully. She wanted so badly to just let it all go. Reina sensed it, rubbing the back of Ai's head soothingly.
"It's ok. Reina is here. If you want to cry, just cry."
The floodgates opened. Ai seemed to crumble in an instant, slumping into Reina's embrace as all her defenses fled. Reina held on to Ai fiercely, protectively. She meant every word she said. She wanted Ai to be happy. It upset her to see Ai struggling so hard on her own, never relying on anyone, never showing her inner feelings.
It reminded Reina of something her mother had told her, part of a bedtime story when she was younger.
People are weak, so we need each other to live on in this world. No one is ever strong enough to live on their own, Reina.Reina had not completely understood what her mother had meant at the time, but being with Ai had helped her begin to understand what it meant to need someone, and now, perhaps, to be needed in return.
It would not be an easy burden for a 15 year old to bear, but Reina was willing to try. Ai was light in her arms, and Reina felt again the same surge of protectiveness she had felt earlier when Yamashita had been with Ai.
Mine. Reina thought possessively, holding Ai more closely to her. Ai sniffled in her arms, mumbling something that Reina had to struggle to hear.
"What?" Reina leaned down to listen. Ai wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, repeating herself in a hoarse voice.
"Rei...your nails..."
Reina stared at her in disbelief. She snorted, taking in the puffy red eyes and the smeared makeup on Ai's face. Ai looked confused when Reina rapped her sharply on the top of her head.
"Tch, why don't you ever think of yourself?" Ai had the grace to look chastised, rubbing at her head sheepishly.
"But...it's no good for you if you leave it like that..."
Reina rolled her eyes. The girl was beyond hope. How Ai had managed to live on her own all this time was beyond Reina's comprehension. Straightening up with a creak (being bent over for so long was hard on the spine), Reina pulled Ai to her feet as well, shoving the older girl in the general direction of the bathroom.
"Go and wash up. Take a bath while you're at it." Before Ai could interject, Reina continued.
"Yes, I'll finish with the process, so off you go. You look awful." Reina shoved Ai again, making the older girl stumble a little before regaining her balance.
"Are you sure..." Reina glared at her.
"Go. Now." Ai mumbled something to herself, but shuffled obediently towards the bathroom. Reina shook her head, exasperated, and was about to head back to the table when something else occurred to her.
"DON'T YOU DARE BRING YOUR DS INTO THE BATHTUB AGAIN!"
A moment of petulant silence ensued, and Reina could just vaguely hear Ai grumbling to herself. Reina smirked, took another step, before yelling something else for good measure.
"NO PSP EITHER!"
The silence this time was definitely injured, and Reina could practically feel Ai pouting from all the way around the corner near the bathroom. The sound of the bathroom door closing was not quite a slam, but it
was a great deal more forceful than usual.
Reina grinned to herself, settling down to dip her fingers back into the bowl. She still felt a little overwhelmed by everything that had happened today, but the memory of Ai looking at her like she was the only thing left that mattered in the world stayed fresh, filling Reina with a glowing warmth at the center of her chest.
Ai... Reina rolled the thought in her mind. There was nothing else she could think of, not right now. Everything else could wait.
It was just them against the world, and Reina was not unwilling to take up the challenge. She smirked to herself.
Bring it on.==================================================================================
Well that was intense. I am not ashamed to admit I was near tears at some parts (as to which parts, I'm not telling
). It felt awfully personal in a way. I felt like I could understand. *shrug* I'm supposed to understand anyway. How else would I write them?
But yes, another major step. To those who have read Nanchatte Renai (all of you, I hope...), Reina's outburst here might feel a wee bit familiar. If not, please refer to the second to last chapter (I think) in NR where Reina confronts Ai. Similar feelings held pent up, and it all has to go somewhere. I'm just letting it happen sooner here. It's better for them to have their confrontations now instead of letting the problems fester at any rate.
So yup. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter!
EDIT: Lol kRisZ, congrats on your wedge!
Topic: Destiny Love [16/02 - In My Own Time] (Read 78722 times)