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Author Topic: Otsukare~i's Fanfic: Lovely Rival (Chapter 2: Confused) *update 110403*  (Read 3754 times)

Offline otsukare~i

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This is my first story, and for now, about the couple, I won't tell anything, I want you to guess it anyway  :P
And sorry for my bad english (lol)
Hope you like it  :otomerika:
ready???? GO!  :rock:


Chapter 1: Reason

OK, so…?
I looked straight at her. We’re with the same sitting position, cross-legged, facing each other, and I'm getting tired with this silent state for 30 minutes already, so I started talking to her. She looked startled for a moment and then with an unusual movement she started wiping the sweat from her forehead with her palm and began to fix her red blood coloured red shirt which now gets filled with her sweat, maybe she was very grateful to use hot pants rather than pink training sweats like I used this time so that she can anticipate more of any burning sensation from this lack of air which she felt currently, afterward, she began to reach her hand into her black purse, grabbed her cell phone and soon began to busy playing keypad while she bowed her head lowered than before, obviously trying to ignore me.

“Hold on for a while, hopefully we can get out of here as soon as possible..” I said to her.

I look to the top of the elevator, where there were a little hole for the air, so I’m not really surprised if the air was stuffy and obviously hot. I, myself with this PINK (for once, I hate pink T.T)training clothes of course, actually feel my breath was getting heavier. Remember that fact once, I take a glimpse at her again. I was worried every time I saw her face redden from time to time.

“You really okay?”

Once again she did not answer, busy with the keypad of her cell phone that she was holding.

“You're not texting are you? no signal here, I’ve checked it before..”

She stops typing, like exhausted of many thoughts she roughly re-enter her cellphone into her purse with a loud sigh, and leaned back on the elevator wall behind her. With a leaning movement completely, I could see her face clearly now, her face filled with sweat and she looks annoyed when she has to get rid of her bangs that often falls to her face. My eyes fell on a very red cheeks of hers. Without thinking I crawl toward her, she looked startled by my sudden movements.

“What are you doing?” she asked

I kept crawling toward her, after close enough, I could see her jaw tightened, and I took the position of sitting in front of her, I brought my right hand toward her left cheek, and stroked it slowly.

"You really okay? You looks like a tomato” I asked while looking at her eyes.

"I'm okay"

"Really?" I saw her eyes with the "don't-lie-to me" look.


“But your cheek’s very red”, this time I lean my forehead on her forehead, attempting to measure her body temperature.

“I’m okay!!” she jerked away from me and looking away

“Do you want to sleep a little while we wait..” I tried to touch her forehead with my hands when she slapped my hands with hers.

“Leave me alone!!” she yelled at me, her face redder than before

“Look, I’m just worried about you, okay? I don’t want you to be sick so I..”

“You don’t have to be worried, I’m okay! Do your own business!” she shouted, still looking away from me. From a very close range, I can see her chest pumping up and down and her cheeks redden again.

“You really didn’t want to talk to me. You’ve completely ignored me for a month or more already and still, with this situation, you act like this. Why did you do this to me?” I asked her, trying to control my cracked voice, my hands were clenched in my lap.


“What?? Care to tell me?” I asked her one more time, now my hands which is resting on my lap shaking very hard, and I can feel my eyes teary.

“…” she remained silent still look to another way

“Why Reina?” I cant hold it anymore, I can feel a tears flowing through my cheeks and fell into my lap.

Realized she wouldn’t bother, slowly I got back to where I sat earlier, and curled my body. This is very bad. I was trapped in this elevator for 30 minutes already and now I know for sure that my friend would like to keep avoiding me, she really hated me. I couldn’t stop the tears flowing from my eyes. I like her. So why did she hate me?

Suddenly I heard a voice from the top of elevator.

"Hello? We’ll lowered the lift about three floors so you can get out. I want you to hold on to something in order to reduce the shocks, because the elevator will be lowered manually"

“Yeah, please help us.. we’ll hold onto something” Reina answered

“Ok.. “

Ignoring advice to hold on into something, I keep crying.

I don’t care.

Shortly afterwards, I felt someone put her arm around my waist. I look up to find Reina’s face was so close with mine. OMG, her face's so red! Maybe me too, because I can felt my face flushed just by looking at her adorable face. Slowly she put her other hand to hold a holder on elevator wall behind me, the holder was so high, so she has to put her face beside of my cheek so she can reach it while she practically hug me. I can hear her breath with my ear. I don’t know if I stunned or what, but I can’t say anything.

“Are you insane? Don’t you hear it? He told us to hold onto something” she whispered to my ear slowly. I can feel my body shivered a little.

My heart was banging so hard and my sob can’t stop either.

“Stop crying Sayumi, I’m sorry”


“Right when we can get out from this da*n elevator, we’re going to talk. So please stop crying. I hate it.”

“Just tell me a little about it now, I want to know it now.. What's your reason for avoiding me?”

“Can you keep it a little while? This elevator’s going to drop!”

“I like you Reina, you’re one of my best friend. It’s hard for me to think that you are hating me, even just one second”




The elevator dropping so hard for a a couple times and I can felt Reina tightened her arms around me.

Once it calmed, I can feel my breath getting heavier again, I’m pretty sure it’s because of the shock, but it’s too painfull, ah, my asthma. My eyes closing slowly as I hear her voice.

“It’s because of Eri.. About you and Eri, you seems very close to her lately..”


“Yes, my heart hurts everytime I see you two.. Eri, It seems that I have special feeling towards her, but I don’t really know..”

“Re.. Reina.. Y-you can believe me, I don’t.. ha..uh..”


She pulled her body from me and gasp once she looked at my condition

“Sayu? Sayu? What happens???!!! Why are you looks so pale???”

“It’s just asthma.. But this time, it’s pretty hurt, hehe..” I said to her a little laughing, didn’t want her to be panicked, while my eyes getting heavier.. It’s no good, I see 2, no, 3 Reina..

“Wait! Keep up Sayu! Please!” She cried as she looked at me worriedly.

“It’s.. it’s okay Re-Reina.. You don’t have to be panicked.. I’m okay..”

“No! you’re not! HELP!! Everyone help please!!!!!” She looks at the elevator’s door, obviously panicked.

“I.. I can’t breath well”

“Sa.. Sayu.. What can I do?” She cried, it’s my first time seeing her like that, she’s losing control, her face was pale, and her body shaking uncontrollably while holding me in her arms.

“I… I…” I closed my eyes once.

“SAYU! You can’t closed your eyes like that! Stay awake!” she practically screamed

“But I’m tired..” I felt dizzy as something flowing down from my nose

“You’re nosebleeding!” Now her tears start to drip and fell to my sweats

I just look at her, not have much energy to reply. But just by knowing that she’s still care about me, I felt very happy.

“Sa-sayu.. what can I do?” She cried uncontrollably

Just like a seconds, she wipe away my blood and kiss me.

Huh? Kiss me?

She blowing air at my mouth once, and I felt my lungs getting better

“Are you feeling any better?” she asked me concerned

I nodded a little

With that sign, she went to blowing air to my mouth again

I felt any better, but still I can’t keep my eyes open any longer, felt absolutely tired, it closed slowly..


“Miss, what happened??” suddenly a male voice come out of nowhere.

Eh? Who’s that? G-god?

“Help her! Please!!”

“Someone call ambulance!” That male voice heared once again.

“Sayumi, hold on please.. Don’t leave me..” Reina cried to my ear.

That’s what I heard for the last time and everything went blank..

To be continued..
« Last Edit: April 03, 2011, 09:15:20 AM by otsukare~i »

Offline kano-chan

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Re: Otsukare~i's Fanfic: Lovely Rival (Chapter 1: Reason) *update 101212*
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2010, 09:16:11 AM »
Wow! Main couple is TanaSayu?? I've never read any fic with this couple before. Or is it TanaKamei? But judging by your avi, it's likey TanaSayu... lol..Whatever. XD

Good start! :twothumbs

Sayu's asthma! I wonder what would happen next! :O

Offline kuro808

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Re: Otsukare~i's Fanfic: Lovely Rival (Chapter 1: Reason) *update 101212*
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2010, 09:22:46 AM »
nice start and welcome to the fic section so I am going to assume a lot with 6th gen but a love triangle might be developing atm,  :thumbsup good job
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Offline SarangAi

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Re: Otsukare~i's Fanfic: Lovely Rival (Chapter 1: Reason) *update 101212*
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2010, 04:33:46 AM »
Sayu doesn't like pink??? well there's something new XD

Is this like an, all-around rokkie fic?  TanaShige, TanaKame, KameShige... whatever it is, i'll take it :D

avii&sig by the wonderful kawaii beam~!

Offline XcuteX26262X

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Re: Otsukare~i's Fanfic: Lovely Rival (Chapter 1: Reason) *update 101212*
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2010, 05:34:07 AM »
Awesome start. Your English is better than mine *jealous*
You should continue writing this, even though I'm not really a big fan of TanaShige, but this is great. :twothumbs
Waiting for chapter 2~!

Offline oddball

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Re: Otsukare~i's Fanfic: Lovely Rival (Chapter 1: Reason) *update 101212*
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2010, 04:36:04 PM »
Great start to this fic! what a shocking revlation to start things off, Sayu dosn't like pink!?!  :shocked  :lol:

I wonder what has happened to Sayu, why did she suddenly turn for worse in the elevator?  :panic:

looking forward to more of this fic!  :twothumbs

Offline otsukare~i

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I'm very sorry for a very long update..  :bow:

It's just that I started to work and really busy with my bussiness trip (the longest one is when I need to go to Bali for a month)..

@kano-chan: thank for your comments ^^ tanakame or tanasayu? u better read and keep wondering about the pair  :)
@kurosawa87: I always love your fanfic, so I'm very happy that you drop by :)
@SarangAi: it's not like she doesn't like pink, but it's a jersey, so it's make her felt uncomfortable since they trapped in an elevator with a little hole for air..  :)
@XcuteX26262X: thank you for drop by.. I'm not really good in english too, really :)
@oddball: she wearing pink jersey and it's make her felt hotter than it must.. lol..

Okay, now for chapter 2:


Chapter 2: Confused

Reina POV

I sit down on sofa while staring at her figure laying at hospital's bed with still no movement even an inch, and I can't lie that I want to mad at myself more than ever now that situation turning out bad like this.

How can I don't know that she has an asthma? I put both of my hands covering up my face and I start to laugh at my stupidity while tears starting to drip out of my eyes.

“I was an idiot.. nee sayu?” I take a glance at her figure once more and still, there's no answer.

Sighing, I stand up and walk to her bedside and take a seat near to her and start to gazing at her beautiful face. I'd like to hold my sleepy eyes a little bit to see her condition, as if she wants to wake up and need something for me to do, but I didn't sleep since then, and I can felt my eyes getting tired.

“Please, wake up..” I whispered to her.

Slowly I closed my eyes and put my head on her shoulder while my left hands stroking her arm lightly.


“Reina, we're going to have dinner together, would you like to join us?” The short haired girl approaching a very yankee style girl in lesson studio, while the others get prepared to go home.

I smiled at her, happy just to get invited by her.. “We? Who are 'we'?”

“Me and sayu”

Huft.. always both of you..

“I'd like to, but I need to have dance lesson to my solo performance, and there's plenty new move, I want to make sure remember all of it today, so, I'm sorry.”

“Ah, it's okay. Hope you'll remember it fast just like you'd always do” she smiled at me, beautiful smile as always.

“So, you're coming to right?” sayu has finished prepared her won stuff and joining conversation beside Eri.

“I'm not, sorry”


“I have another class, dance lesson to my solo performance”

“Ah, too bad.. but it won't last too long, right?”

“Hopefully, It'll take about 2 hours, then I'll go home”

“.. Hmm.. okay”

- 4 Hours later -

“Thank you” I said, bowing to my dance instructor when I finished preparing to get home.
While walking at the door of Up-Front office I take a look at the lobby, and there's one person sit right there.. feeling weird, I felt like ready to jump over to the door, but then a voice makes me stop.


“Eh? Sayu?”

“You told me that your dance lesson will take only 2 hours!” she walk to me

“Ah, yes.. it end up 4 hours”

“Here” she give a packed box to me.

“What is this?”

“Your dinner”

“W-what? Thank you..” I look at her in surprised.

“I'll tell it to Eri”


“She's the one that asking me to bought it for you”

“Oh.. really?” My cheeks went red. This is, from Eri?

“She really cares about you, so eat it!”

“Okay, I will, at home”

“No, here..”

“Huh?” I look at Sayu, confused.

“I'll standing here until you had your last spoon” she crossing her arms just like another sayu I know, arrogant one -_____-

- Next Day -

“Eri, thank you”

“For what?”

“Well, umm...” I can't bluntly said it! What if I overreact anything?!

“Reina, this evening I 'll go with Sayu, are you going to come with us?”

Again? You always clinging around her huh?

“No..” I stomped away from her and take a sit near Aika, not to far from the other while Eri's (confused) slowly come back to where she sit down-of course she would sit anywhere as long it's beside sayu.

I take a look at the two chatting happily and I can see how Eri look at Sayu with a very lovingly gaze. Once, she whispered to sayu and sayu's laughing after, I can see how she's playfully push sayu's side and blushing to see how sayu reacts by her words. I saw sayu looking at her, and talk to her seriously (I can't hear her words) and gave her sweetest smile that she never shown to anyone before, and Eri's eliciting a “Ohh” and blushing even more, circled her arms around sayu's waist and happily hugging her while mouthed “thank you”. What sayu said to her earlier that makes her so happy? I can't stand it and I hate this feeling.

Best friend huh?

-End of flashback-

“R-reina?” Suddenly I heard her voice, very beautiful as always..


Her voice???

“Huh?” I lift my head immediately to take a look at her face.

“Sayu??” I search for her eyes. Her face was still pale but much better than it fact, she's really awake.. her eyes blink many times as if she was so surprised by the light that now surrounding her.

Thanks God, Thanks God..

“Reina?”she look at me, totally confused,

“Yeah, it's me Sayu” I smiled at her.

“Where is this?”

“We're in hospital, you've fainted before.. we.. elevator.. “ it's not that I can't explain it properly, it's just that I don't want to remember that sickening memories.

“Ah.. I remember.. and.. are you okay?” she's looking at me concern.

“Huh? You're the one who is fainted, you silly.. And I'm okay..” I laugh at her.

“But, I still remember that your cheeks went very red at that time” she smiled at me “But it was good that you're okay”


“Em.. How about you? There is anything hurt?”

“No, It's still hard to take a breath but just a little bit” she clenched her chest while taking a deep breath.

“I'll call the doctor” I turn away and get ready to go to call the doctor but she holds my hands, so I turn to look at her again, confused.

“No, you don't need too” she said, while holding her grip to my hands.

“Just wait a little bit, okay? I'll call him and..”

“Reina, just stay, I want to talk.. we need to talk” she pulled me closer while nodding her chin at chair beside me.

“Ahh.. okay...” I sit down right after she asked me. Call me stupid, but all I want to do is just follow her instruction right now, even though I know where this conversation will get going.

“Straight to the topic, about me and Eri.. There's nothing between us.”


“Ohh.. okay” I nodded at her, prepared reaction though.

“Just that??” she looks surprised just by looking at my reaction.

“No, it's really okay..” I smiled at her.

“And, you need to know, that she likes you too”

I look at her. Shocked.

“What are you saying?”

“Yeah, she said to me that she likes you, that's why she's getting closer to me rather than before, she thinks that I could give her some ideas and helping her, you know, she's lacking of confidence that I should helping her out”

To tell you the truth sayu, I don't know what I feel. I'm happy, but at the same time, I'm confused.

“And now I know that you likes her too.. I'm happy” she smiled at me comfortingly.

“I don't know sayu.. It's just that I don't like you both together so I started to act like a spoiled child, try to avoiding you.. I'm sorry..”

“It's okay, really. It's just that I felt a little lonely, when you're avoiding me and I don't really like it.” her cheeks went red just by saying those things, and I can feel my heart skipped a bit hear that words from her.

“I'm sorry..” I stroke her hands lightly. What with this feeling? I felt like I want to hug her right there.

“And thank you.. for trying to save me” she's blushing even more. Ah.. that kiss..

“I... I'm so sorry, I don't know what to do, yet I end up doing that to you”

“It's okay” she smiled at me once more.

“So, about you and Eri, could you just going out with her?” she asked me bluntly.

“Huh?” I look at her, surprised.

“She likes you and you likes her.. You both can be happy together” she suggested.

“Wait.. I..” Gulped.

This is too sudden, and what I want to say? I.. I don't know about my feelings either. I like Eri, right? I felt jealous everytime I see Sayu's around her. Now sayu said that Eri likes me too.. I.. um..

“It's too sudden, I need to think before..”

“Sayu!” suddenly Eri popped to the room and sprint over to sayu's bedside.

“Eri?” Sayu immediately pull her hands from mine, I was to shock to react that I stand up without any further reaction following after. Stiff. Eri's eyes locked with me for a seconds.

“She likes you”

“Hi.. Reina..” Eri look at my eyes and smiled.

“H-hi.. Eri” This is awkward. I nearly bowing but thanks I can hold it.

“Are you okay??” Eri take sayu's hand and stroking lightly while looking at her head until her feet, make sure that Sayu's in a finest condition.

“I'm okay, you don't need to fuss over me Eri” she smiled at her.

“Thanks God” she hug sayu tightly and not too long after, she pulled away and kissed her cheek.

I can feel my heart sank just by see it, looking at sayu's eyes, wondering if she's happy to received that sort of kiss from Eri, but what I saw afterward shocked me even more. Sayu pushed her just right after her eyes locked with mine.


“I'm.. I'm sorry Eri.. it's just that I.. shock.. hehhee”

“Oh.. okay..” I look at Eri's eyes and she's obviously confused.


Everybody POV

“Don't do that”

Person 1: Don't do that. Why are you pushing me away? You don't like it? You hate it?

Person 2: Don't do that (to one person). Please, don't get it wrong (to another).

Person 3: Don't do that to her!! Stop doing that to her! I can's stand it! Wait, who am I supposed to be jealous of??
« Last Edit: April 03, 2011, 11:10:21 AM by otsukare~i »

Offline kano-chan

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Oh gosh...Reina likes them both.. :panic:

And who does Kame like, exactly?? Even though Sayu said Kame likes Reina, the POV confused me.

Why does it seem so TanaSayu-ish?? Even though I love TanaKamei.

Offline otsukare~i

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@kano-chan: this is why it called confused.. I'm didn't say that everyone telling the truth about their feelings.. it'll be answered in next chapter though.. and for the pair, hmm.. you like tanakame, tanasayu or kameshige??

Offline kuro808

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Thank you for your comment above

Yeah Reina likes both of them but trying to decide who she should be with will only lead to the problem of the third wheel, I think this is quite a great start for the story to bloom
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Offline oddball

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Re: Otsukare~i's Fanfic: Lovely Rival (Chapter 2: Confused) *update 110403*
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2011, 11:25:58 AM »
This kinda feels like a 3 way well, confuse-athon or something.....  :?

It's like Reina likes Eri and feels jealous towards the time Eri and Sayu spend together but what she may have been feeling is jealousy towards Sayu more than Eri.....

Sayu may well of liked Eri to begin with and even helped her when Eri admitted she liked Reina but perhpas Sayu, through that time, grew feelings for Reina too....

And Eri, well perhaps she liked Reina to start with but maybe, spending so much time with Sayu, she perhaps has started to get fellings for her instead...

Offline otsukare~i

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Re: Otsukare~i's Fanfic: Lovely Rival (Chapter 2: Confused) *update 110403*
« Reply #11 on: April 04, 2011, 03:08:56 PM »
perhaps.. Woahh.. you nearly can read my mind.. just see what happen to them in the next chapter, okay ? ^^

Offline kano-chan

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Re: Otsukare~i's Fanfic: Lovely Rival (Chapter 2: Confused) *update 110403*
« Reply #12 on: April 06, 2011, 08:49:49 AM »
With that question, does that mean it may go in my our favor? :P Sayu is so nice here and she seems to love Reina..right? :O A little bit of me is rooting for that, but my favorite is still TanaKamei! :wub: So if I get to vote, it'll be TanaKamei~ :yep:

Offline Sora-chan

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Re: Otsukare~i's Fanfic: Lovely Rival (Chapter 2: Confused) *update 110403*
« Reply #13 on: August 09, 2011, 06:20:56 PM »
UGH! i did get confused!  :? :? I dont know i think Reina likes both girls and Eri likes them two and Sayu likes Reina and probably Eri too! the end...theres only 3 of them so SOMEONE is gonna be hurt because EVERYONE SEEMS TO LIKE EACH OTHER. :panic: :panic: :panic: Man...My head is pounding lol!!  :nervous
But, I will forever go for Tanakamei than any other couples!  :yep: (hehe) <3
Tanakame!<3333 ReinAi<333 TanaGaki!<33 TakaGaki!<33 TanaShige!<33 AiSayu!<3 JunSayu!<33 SayuKoha!<3 AiEri<3

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