Okay, this might be totally out of the blue, but I can't keep silent about this anymore...
I always loved writing. Be it at school, at home, on the bus, having a picnic, preparing for some feast... I always wrote poems and stories. But I rarely showed them to anyone, and I did not feel confident about it. But one day I came to JPHIP, and my life turned upside down. I felt this is a place where my creativeness is appreciated, where I can post freely any kind of topic, and still get some feedback, even if I feel it's badly written. I felt this is a place where a person can shine despite his/her gloomy past/background, despite the fact that he/she has a bad or abusive family, or is bullied at school. A place where you can escape and feel like at home, get warmness and kindness. Get negative or bad comments, and find the step where to improve.
But with time something changed. I don't know what it is, but I feel like an outsider here... All the new writers, people comment on their posts, press 'thank you', put it on their bookmarks... Even all the other 'old' writers, they get lots of feedback, people press 'thank you' on their posts... but I feel like an outsider.. I wonder if my writing went bad or something...
I mean, the same stories before were highly appreciated, people wanted continuations, pressed 'thank you', asked questions about characters and stuff, about the plot. Now, when I update the stories, I see those people, that were interested in those stories before, commenting on other posts, but my stories are not interesting anymore, they pay no attention, nobody is commenting on them, and I get so few 'thank yous' that my inspiration and all the joy of updating is fading away so rapidly like never before.
For others it might seem like a nonsense that I wrote here, but it is how I feel this last month.. And even some time before.. I know that people appreciate highly only AtsuMina, KojiYuu or MaYuki, and it's fine in it's own way. But even when I write about them... You know, it feels like I said or wrote something that offended people and so they backed away from me. I might be overreacting, hallucinating, being paranoid, but... I even feel like crying, when I update a story, and week after it's still empty without comments...
I know some of you might even laugh at this rant of mine, but I feel like not writing anymore.... I love writing, I have many ideas, and I often hear my friends saying I'm good at English, but... The lack of feedback is making me sulk in the corner, pull my hear and stop writing, because inspiration is leaving me... I'm sorry if this rant was offensive or boring... I'll still try to update stories, though I'm not sure how long I'll be able to do that, if no feedback is coming...