Because of You : Breaking the silence [Chapter 25 (completed) + Credits - 18/05]

[Beecubed]

*Th-thump, th-thump, th-thump*

Oh, what is that? 

Can you guess?

...

It's Bee falling in love with your fic, is what. 

Okay, cheesiness aside, I just want to tell you that there is something GOOD GOING ON HERE LIKE OMFG. o________o  I have to confess, I didn't really touch this thread until today when you updated with your latest chapter [EDIT: I started this comment 6 chapters ago. Your updating speed is Godly, my friend ^^;). I read the first chapter - and just couldn't stop. I ended up reading everything in one sitting (well I had to teach in between... but I couldn't help it and read whilst the kids were doing their work xD). I can't say I've ever been moved to do this with fanfiction (besides On Call xD). I'm glad I read all these chapters one after another, I think it made the experience all the more powerful. And when I finished the last chapter [edit: again, 5 chapters ago ^^;), I kind of felt like crying because there was no more to read. Okay so you get the drift: I'm hooked. 

WOW. This story's been with you since 4 years ago? Why has it taken you so long to post this? ;_______; (not that I would've been around to enjoy this 4 years ago xD).

It's pretty meaningful I guess?

ASFFDGTFTAKJDH!!!! Yes! 
I'm kind of wary of writers who state stuff like that... and then you find they're overrating themselves and it's kind of like... >_____>. Lol. But I am so agreeing with you on that. 

You know what? This story really reminds me of Orange Days in a way, one of my favourite J-dramas. It's a story that involves a deaf girl (who WILL not talk, only sign) finding love, and is positively beautiful in its depiction of the romance that unravels between her and the main character. The feelings that show roused in me - I will never be able to describe it, and I was just reminded of those feelings whilst reading this fic... I love this. I REALLY LOVE THIS. You are good. This really is turning out to be an exquisite fanfic; beautiful, and meaningful, and my heart clenches when I think over everything that's happened so far and everything that has yet to happen. I'm afraid the heartache hasn't even begun. And I thought my Ai was pitiful...

Anyway... I'll never cease to be amazed by writers whose first language isn't English, but who still manage to blow me away with their story and their storytelling, and you are definitely one of them. 

It's partially inspired by a Cantonese song that I always listen to. (:

You must let me know what song you're talking about. *Bee understands the power of music*

I’ll try to go through this quickly otherwise I’ll be spending forever writing this comment while you keep piling on the chapters!   but yes, there is SO MUCH to comment on, but like I said, I’ll try to limit myself. Although I have a feeling I’ll be spilling out rivers and oceans of fangirling anyway ^^;

And now, I think I owe you this:

[EDIT: please, while reading the following, keep in mind that I started writing this several chapters ago ^^; you've answered quite a few of my questions since then, so thank you.]

[Prologue]

You revealed everything through dialogue here, yet it was so effective. I cried. I don't know why, maybe I'm just more sensitive than usual, or maybe it's because I've always been a crybaby, but this really did make me cry. I guess I can empathise with Ai in a way; I know the heartache of abandonment, I've been hurt by it before. I can't even begin to imagine what little Ai must've felt when she realised her parents were gone. Really gone. Oh gawd. 



It's too sad. And the new daughter - she just had to be one of our other musumes, and I wanted it to be Gaki-san. I'm SO HAPPY IT IS. 

But... what kind of a heartless monster would you have to become to abandon your daughter, your own flesh and blood?    People who have priorities over their own family; that's something I will never understand. I will always resent Niigaki papa for that. Even her mother to an extent; she could've done more. She seemed to love her child very much, but how could she also just passively accept her husband’s decision and abandon poor Ai like that? I would’ve done everything to return to the house and somehow make sure Ai was okay… find her a place to stay at least, anything. The hurt and despair that Ai's had to carry her whole life - did her father ever stop one moment to think about that? Maybe... we won't know until you reveal more of him. But I don't think I'd be able to forgive him. I seriously want to cry just thinking about Ai's predicament 

Awesome hook for the story! 


[Chapter 1] - Her past, Her present.

I love the way you’ve incorporated all these little flashbacks (into most of the chapters, as I’ve pretty much read all the chapters up to 14 already) that help us to really see into Ai’s character, what she’s been through, and the constant haunting, the uncertainties that she battles with day and night… excellent job with that! 

And well yes. Every time I read these nightmares that she has… *Bee cries inside*. She can’t sleep past 3.16 in the morning?!!? Hope she goes to bed early then =____= ‘coz how badly would that suck; it would really throw her off her game. At least, if I were Ai, it would definitely throw me off my game xD I’m sure Ai has worked her routines/schedules around the fact that she has to get up that early, but again. It’s gotta suck :/

" Pa . . .pa . . .Ma . . . ma. . ." She forced her voice out of mouth.

So she has spoken before! These are probably the only words she’s ever uttered? And at such a time too… you have to wonder then, what exactly is Ai-chan suffering from? Just a social disorder she had straight from birth?

And really, if her parents were going to be THAT BARBARIC, couldn’t they at least make sure their Ai-chan would be okay?  Make some arrangements for her? She can’t speak, and knowing that she’s quite a timid child, I kind of feel that they’d left her for dead. EVIL, EVILLL PARENTS!!!!! 

OH! Your Ai-chan is meeting up with a psychologist too (so is mine xD). Lol. They could be friends! 

GakiKame <333 I can’t remember how many times I’ve read these two being best friends, but seems they’re a common pick for H!P authors. Of course I’m not complaining. These two are a really good combination; they have so much potential for hilarity and the occasional sweetness. 

Cute introduction of them to your story, with Eri being hounded by an escapee aspiring-to-be-a-singer Gaki-san. Awwwww. *Bee rubs hands together*. And the plot thickens right there. Of course, now we know a little somebody is going to HAVE TO bump into a little somebody else… xD


[Chapter 2] - The second meeting

Sayu! We haven’t heard much about Sayu in the rest of the story so far, but I wonder if she has more of a significant role to play here than just a passing friend (and Gaki’s past crush).

And yes, looking for a job and being able to maintain one when you’re mute must be terribly tricky; just another obstacle in life Ai must face. *Bee pats Ai-chan* poor dear.

Eri thought as she stepped into the elevator of the building where the clinic she is going to work in was located. 'I wonder how will my work load be like . . . It's so exciting! Being able to put what I have learnt in college in work, helping the life of others.'

O___________O

 

And of course, it hit me. ERI IS AI’S NEW PSYCHOLOGIST!!!!! And cue lots of inner squealing and OH MY GAHs.  And this made me think and speculate right away; apart from the role of being Ai’s new mentor, what’s going to happen beyond this? Is Eri going to fall for Ai too? Be jealous of Ai for stealing Gaki-san? Although having read a lot since, I can assume that Eri’s just going to be that lovable best friend who never interferes and is just there for morale support and good looks. And I’m not complaining about this either xD ‘Coz she could’ve easily been a character that caused a lot more drama than necessary. 

Fujimoto and Nakazawa <3 Glad you have a few more of them thrown in there for good measure. Just using them by name is good enough to fill the void of where-are-the-OGs-in-fanfiction in me. Hehe. 

"Stupid Eri…”

First, it was ‘stupid Risa’ from Eri, and now the thought’s been returned
Made me laugh. These two! I have to wonder what Eri drew on Risa’s face though. If it was anything as funny as what Risa’s (real) parents used to do to her face…

"I'm gonna get her to pay for this by paying me a good lunch today."

For Gakikame, it’s all about food! LOL. ‘You better buy me a big meal’ etc.etc., this kind of interaction between them has occurred a number of times throughout this fic already. Funny. But yeah, Eri is such a good friend in this fic, always looking out for Risa.

FIRST TAKAGAKI ENCOUNTER!
And such a FREAKING cute one too! Randomly kissing random strangers (who of course are destined to be). Lol. I was shocked. 

Realising that Ume was getting closer and closer to them, Risa pulled Ai's neck closer to her and place her lip on hers, trying hard to hide her face and not being too suspicious by just hiding under Ai's physique.

Awesome! This was such a sweet way to meet and get to know each other, lol. And possibly Ai’s first kiss??? I have to say I found plenty of moments throughout the fic where I was kind of surprised by the unfolding events. Though I shouldn’t really have been, having seen my fair share of Asian dramas and whatnot. Well yessss, this was definitely one of the moments! I was grinning from ear-to-ear reading this scene! And Gaki-san scolding herself afterwards for being so forward, is love! 

And then, we have AiEri first encounter. I was surprised at how confident and sociable Ai was, actually. Makes me think how multi-layered a character she must be. <3 The ensuing mind game between the two was also very amusing to read. I really do enjoy the character interaction and dialogue you have in your story, it’s always so refreshing! 

"You are a person, not an item. I would like to know more of your through communications rather than written information. And in order to write new assessment, I need to know you more personally." Eri explained.

^ and stuffs like that seem kind of unlikely to come out of Kamei Eri, but this makes her so, so attractive. Really wise words. 


[Chapter 3] - The price to pay

OH! Eri is such a sweetheart. To take sign language classes so she can understand her own patient… of course, dragging Risa along might mean the bean can slowly learn to understand Ai as well. Killing two birds with one stone.

"You know what, Risa? You should really shut up before I decide to call Ume-san here to drag you back to Kyoto.

GakiKame arguments are the best. <3 

So her parents have given in and decided to give Risa a bit of a gap year… yay? xD Of course, a year is plenty of time for TakaGaki to get together and blossom and all that. And when Risa has to return, what will happen then? >_____> I’ll have to speculate more about this towards the end of the comment…

Ai opened her mouth, but no voice came out. Sadness immediately dawned over the lady's face. Ai noticed it and brought the same sadness to herself.

And these memories bring that same sadness to Bee.
And then to have Ai-chan questioning the purpose of her life – what she is living for – that hurts to read. I hope she realises there is plenty of things to live for soon enough, especially when Gaki-san becomes somebody important to her. 

More AiEri  with the lunch meeting and all <3 It’s so funny and cute how Gaki-san drops by so casually like that, causing Ai-chan to want to get up and leave and then Konkon appearance as Ai’s best friend, as expected. This was a great moment amongst all of them, so enjoyable, that little moment where Konkon and Eri tease Ai by stating the contrary to what she signed. Awwww. Ai’s panic is so cute!   

Gaki-san following Ai to the washroom…
This scene is also one of my favourite TakaGaki moments. I kind of felt some nerves reading this, as if I were one of the characters right there ^^;

‘Risa-san . . . At least you have a family. . .’ Ai looked away from Risa to prevent herself from tearing. {At least they cared for your being. For that you will know that they will always be there for you, no matter what happens.} Ai typed with the intention to cheer Risa up.

This was a bit of a heart clenching moment. What would Ai say if she knew Risa was that daughter they replaced her with? Wait, she can’t talk yet xD but you know what I mean… ;_________; So ironic that Risa’s the one running away from her family, whilst that same family ran away from Ai… and now, Risa wants to become friends with this girl. So ironic. 

Okay… you’re going to have to excuse Bee for her laziness now, but I realise this is never going to get done if I continue to comment chapter by chapter >____<  I’ll just use bullet points to get through the rest of the chapters. 

-   TakaGaki exchanging text messages. I find it adorable how proactive our bean is being in pursuing this friendship. I wonder what makes her so attracted to Ai? But who am I kidding, that question shouldn’t even need to be asked. We all know why Ai is so attractive.   

-   Risa stealing Eri’s sign language book. Eri discovering the sign language book upon taking the pillow to hit her over the head. O M G. Epically adorable scene. I fangirl squealed a lot here. Thank you for writing this so wonderfully. 

Can I also edit something? xD
{Sorry for the late reply, I was taking my shower just now. I'm going to do some volunteer work tomorrow. If you don't mind, you can join me. - Ai}

-   Awwww, Ai is already getting to warm up to Risa so easily already. Also, little moments like this: “'Why do I feel like you are always trying to hide your smile?' Risa thought as she observed Ai's action”, and Risa staring at Ai on the train --- have my heart brimming.

-   And as always, Ai is overly self-conscious about the silence between them, wondering if it was boring for Risa to hang out with her – of course. I really enjoyed reading about this kind of thing, there’s such a ring of truth. Especially having seen how noisy/rowdy Risa is around Eri, it must make Ai nervous that Risa’s unusually quiet around her. 

-   So Ai took Risa back to her orphanage. Nacci <3 She must be really old here? Lol. More revealed about Ai-chan here. And I LOVED the little moments of TakaGaki, like Risa realising she was staring too much, and thinking how beautiful Ai’s smile was... slowly, but surely, the bean is falling for Ai.  And of course, when Risa apologises, and explains why she was apologising. That was so beautiful! This was definitely a chapter that made me feel you were right when you said this story was meaningful.  And of course, Eri disturbing that beautiful peace with her call. Lol. And finding out about the Niigakis not approving of any of Risa’s friends – what the heck?!?! Eri really must be that amazing, huh? My respect for her has gone up even more, if possible. Must be that turtle stubbornness. 

-   Oooooo, celebration at Eri’s. So THAT’S the real reason for Eri having to cook? A bet on whether Gaki-san could pass the sign language exam or not. Major rofl!  Risa would be much too embarrassed to give Ai that reason to come celebrate too… d’awwww. I swear to gawd, I’ve melted reading this story too many times to count. >____>

Eri shot her eyes big in realisation. Her fringe was tied up in a childish way, with tinge of flour sticking on them.

GYAAAAAH!!!!!!!! This has got to be the single most adorable moment in the story so far! I can’t possibly describe in words how much this satisfied my fangirl heart! Must demand a drawing from ropychan…

 

And then we have Ai-chan’s contrasting thoughts:

“…then you first voiced out that you hate having these lessons. It almost felt like you took the language for me, though it was not. It was just a bet to win Eri-san.”

NOOOOOO no no nonononononoonononononononoonononoooooo….. >___> 

-   Next comes caiyunki’s favourite chapter. O__________________O

-   Ai-chan’s hysterial fit was . . . . scary.    ;___; but you described this chapter very well, I felt every bit of apprehension for Ai and was wondering what the heck was going on. Poor Gaki-san for not realising a watch could produce such a reaction from her, and for believing it her fault. Poor Ai-chan for her inability to control her reactions. Poor Eri for not knowing what to do for her patient. Poor people all over the place. 

-   The very girl in Ai’s dreams… to be Gaki-san right next to her when she wakes up. Oh man, I’m feeling more and more worried the longer I think about it. What will happen to TakaGaki when the truth is revealed? Can Ai-chan still love Gaki-san back, knowing SHE was the girl who replaced her? And it’s so sad too, when Ai wakes up only to continually apologise for ‘destroying’ Risa’s party. >____<  this chapter was rather distressing… you can tell that things are only going to take a bad turn from here. I really braced myself at this point to continue reading. 

-   The next chapter – Risa’s inability to concentrate because of MIA Ai-chan, and her subsequent frustration. And Eri, being the bestest friend in the whole world, comforting her. 

"I - missed you. I want to see you." Risa replied as she looked onto the ground, teeth continued chattering. Her heart winced a little as her brain had decided to go truthful the heart's feeling.

*Bee flops about for a while and then melts all over the table and laptop*

GOSH. How can Ai-chan not scoop Risa up into her arms and kiss her senseless?! Oh yeah. Stupid traumatising past and all that. =____=

-   And just when I thought Risa would blurt out more cuteness, along the lines of the I-miss-you-must-see-you that she’d done only moments earlier – only to be shocked (along with Ai-chan) that she abruptly apologised and left. And then Ai-chan… Ai-chan’s thoughts… of course she would see Risa’s departure just then as a sign of abandonment. NOoooo. How can she think of herself as a loser? AI-CHAN WHY DO YOU BREAK MY HEART SO. 

-   Cue angst from all parties. Poor Ai-chan who has just felt betrayed once more. Poor Gakisan who is so conflicted, and only wants to help Ai-chan end her suffering. *Bee tearily huggles all the suffering people* 

-   We also have Eri who is still around to say awesome things like:

The time they need to recover from their hurt, is way more than any of us can imagine. So may take a few days, some a few months or even decades. We can't rush on them, Risa. The more we pressed in, the more they push us out.

So wise. 
And now even Eri is conflicted about all this, with her best friend being involved. Gyah. Very messy at this point…… 

-   The reminiscing about what they talked about (Risa’s talk about the stars). That had me all warm and fuzzy!    Awwww, the dialogue you’ve incorporated into this story – there were so many instances that had me nodding furiously – yes yes yes! Ai… she is just too guarded. Of course, that’s understandable given her past, but I wonder what it’s going to take to get her to open up and to trust more blindly – sometimes, you just have to. Especially so if you’ve found the right person to trust. It’s painful to read about Ai and how doubtful and wary she is of everything and everybody…   

-   Gaki-san is going to sing her OWN SONG FOR AI?   

-    If anybody can help this situation, it would be Eri… it’s always a friend who helps out, lol. Again, so lovely to see her making such effort to help Ai-chan. But our lovely is seeming to get more and more out of control now – her shaking, the seizures and the tranquilisers. O__O this is something to be extremely worried about!   

-   Awwwww! Kaorin, a sweetheart as always. I loved that she treated Ai as in equal and saw in her good work ethics, and as such gave her more opportunities to work. Anything at this point to boost Ai’s confidence, really! <3 But of course, this means that Ai is probably going to have to face Risa. All to plan, author-san. xD

-    Ai… glared?. Ohnononono. Ai’s misinterpreting all of Risa’s good intentions, all those feelings. Every time you reveal her negative thoughts, I just want to grab Ai’s shoulders and shake her awake! This is really frustrating! 

-   AWWW! Look at how easily Ai gives in to Yuko! Respect trust, and all that. 

-    And then, another meeting between TakaGaki… this time, Risa actually getting down to business! @___________@

"What if - what if that day, I told you, I like you, what would you do?" Risa, mustering all of the courage that she needs, clutching the tickets tightly in her hands and asked.

(Don't say things that are not going to happen.) Ai signed. (I'm not here for you to fool around, please, Niigaki-san)

(Then I will not say it. If this the way you would want a conversation to continue, I will do it this way. If this the way of life you have, I will live it together with you in the same way.) Risa signed back to Ai.

My heart stopped.

You are good, caiyunki. Good good good.    This was such drama material, I loved it! My heart really swelled right here; this has GOT TO move Ai-chan, right? Ai is the type who won’t let Risa ruin her dreams because of her. Risa has reached the point of foolish love here, but it’s so… cute? How desperate she has become. “If she's not here, nothing else matters to me anymore” … stuff like that. OH MY SWEET TAKAGAKI. 

YES! Ai turns up! And Risa sings her heart out for her love! 

"I will say it again, if you are still doubting whether is it from the bottom of my heart, Ai-san." Risa broke the silence, seemingly to understand the uncertainty that was running in Ai's mind through the look in her eye. "I love you, Ai-san" Leaning forward towards Ai, Risa kissed Ai lightly on her cheeks and stayed there for awhile, until she tasted salty tears of Ai.

I think it’s about time Risa called her “Ai-chan”… xD You do allude to that a bit down the track though. But I was cheering with all my might, right here. Satisfying much? 

-    Wait, WHAT? They’re sleeping together already? And of course, it must’ve been Bee overeating and thinking too much. It was the sleeping kind of sleeping, not in the sex way (*cue On call hilarity* xD). And this was when the inner squealing would not stop. Kyaaaah! Gyaaaah! OH MY GAHHH! It’s finally happening for these two! 

And when Risa had safely escorted Ai back to her apartment and was ready to leave for the hotel, Ai stopped her. Ai attached herself onto Risa, and that shocked Risa. "Is there anything wrong?"

(No.) Ai shook her head and signed as she pulled away from the hug she initiated.

"Did you want me to . . . stay with you tonight?" Risa guessed.

*Cue fangirl gibberish a-la-ropychan*

 

-    Sleepy Risa is too cute!  And Ai trying to take it down in drawing, and the playful interchange between them as Risa tried to see what Ai was up to – d’awwww, I could really die reading this kind of sweetness.

(Yes. If silence is . . ) Before Risa could sign her answer, Ai stopped her.

(Don't do that. You have a nice voice. ) Ai stopped for a while, before continuing. (I like it.)

I read this like over and over again. Lol. It was just too pretty and beautiful in my head, I couldn’t help it! 

Ai’s spontaneous little kiss for Gaki-san after receiving the flowers was also another adorable moment. This chapter was almost too good to be true. . . . . .  >____>

Ai-chan opened her mouth and was ready to say thank you! OMGAAAHHH! O.O I was ready to smack Eri across the head, seriously… but then upon reading the next chapter, the whole world came crumbling down.

Gaki-san’s parents.

=___________=

Niigaki papa sure is one callous, very unlikeable man. How could he be so… UGH. 

Horrible, horrible… Ai ran away, but now she knows, and she can’t bring herself to be with Risa anymore. All of this is just going wrong.. wrong wrong.    And now Ai’s headed off to hospital. There must be a heartfelt scene where Risa comes running to her side, right? Must be!

Okay, here was some more of my comment that I had started a lot earlier, but I didn’t want to erase it just because you’ve answered some of these:

Well now that Gaki-san’s in the spotlight after winning the competition, surely the media has gotten a hold of this. Word will most certainly reach to the Niigakis’ ears; though Risa now has a year to do whatever she wants, I wonder if her parents will try to make a move.

And of course, the fateful meeting between Ai and her parents – I doubt they will be able to recognise Ai, but will she recognise them? She has stated that she can no longer remember what they look like, but will seeing them again jog her memory? And will she be able to talk by the time she meets them? Because if so, they will not suspect her. And when they do find out this is the daughter they abandoned so many years ago… what will happen then? ZOMG THERE’S SO MUCH I WANT TO FIND OUT. It’s kinda driving me nuts. 

I love the characters you've developed.  Although I feel that Eri and Gaki-san have kind of switched roles (I mean Gaki-san not being able to wake up early? Eri who can dish out expert advice, cook and take care of things A Okay? xD) here, but the change is endearing <3 And I love Ai here, how I love her... she has this quiet (obviously!) sweetness about her; it's so charming. Despite my love for sexy, confident, violent/hot-tempered Ai, I am probably more of a sucker for soft, gentle Ai-chan, and the one you've characterised in this story I feel is the essence of that.

The pacing of the story is great too - you've revealed to us things bit by bit. I thought that was very well done. 

Now, we have a lot of background information on Ai, but Risa’s past has only been skimmed through, and I wonder if I’m the only one here who’s this anxious to know more about Gaki-san's past - how did she come to the Niigaki family in the first place? Who are/were her real parents? What happened exactly, such that Niigaki papa ended up with Risa as his daughter? Why can’t she remember anything about her past before coming to the Niigaki family? I have to assume that Risa believes the Niigakis are her real family… I AM SO CURIOUS ABOUT THIS. =_____= Hopefully, you will be revealing more about Risa’s history as the story continues; it isn’t fair that we only know about Ai’s! 

Another wholly AWESOME thing I am looking forward to is for Ai-chan to speak again. What will be her first word/s in forever? xD (I have a few hunches). I’m getting all giddy just thinking about it! Gyaaaaaaahhh. 

All in all, I absolutely adore what you've done with this so far; the plot, the characters, the interaction, the writing itself. You must be a clever one too – you do your research, or you’re just experienced in the topic matter (mutism and clinical notes, lol). It adds that much more credibility to the story. You've definitely found a reader in me, and I CANNOT wait to find out how this story is going to unravel from here.

Thank you so much for deciding to share this story with us, and I have every hope that you will see this to the end. 

So now my comment will come to an end.  You’re probably breathing a sigh of relief, lol. But I felt it necessary to thank you… so I wrote a lot? xD Hope you enjoyed my fangirling. I wrote this up on Word document and the word count right now (minus your quotes) is about 4,400 words. You have no idea how much I struggle to write that much for uni, LOL. But I think this may be my longest comment in a post ever. Well-deserved. 

Can’t wait to read the next chapter! 

[kano-chan]

When I read "Papa? Mama?" I was afraid to read the rest. There's too much going on; it's overwhelming.

One thing's for sure.. I would love to beat her dad around a bit.

Did Ai-chan cut herself or something??

By the way, her parents, especially her dad, should be damn sorry for what they/he did in the past! He's got no right to say anything now! I need to see him drown in his own guilt and remorse!   Make him suffer for what he did!   (Yes, I hate him very much)

I hope Ai-chan's okay! She better be! Believe in Risa!

What an unexpected turn of events.

Great chapter!

[caiyunki]

Hihi! This is really a short chapter. A transition chapter for more things to come . .. hehehe . . . I will reply the comments at the end of the post this time round, in case anyone finds it too lengthy to read So . . .. Let's Go!

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[Chapter 16 - The Mystery]


"Sorry Miss, can you please come over to provide us information about the patient?" A nurse approached Eri as she had alighted from the ambulance. Ai had just reached the hospital and was pushed into the emergency room.


"Level 1, Tranquiliser overdose. Actual dosage taken is unknown. These are the tranquilisers taken by the patient. Looks like it's Benzodiazepine. Patient had been in unconscious state since arrival at scene. " The paramedics explained as he pushed Ai into the procedure room, passing the sachet of pills to the doctor on duty.


"Okay. Thank you." The doctor thanked. Turning towards the nurse, he passed the sachet to a nurse. "Send to pathology. Check actual contents and amount." Turning to Ai, he patted her face gently a few times and spoke, " Miss? No signs of consciousness." He then placed his stethoscope over his ears and tried to listen for Ai heart beat and breathing. "Slow pulse and depressed breathing. Low blood pressure, Low PO2, Low body temperature. Possible that she had ingested large amount of  Benzodiazepine. Give 100% Oxygen and prepare continuous IV drip of 1.0% of sodium chloride for 48 hours. 1.5 mL of dopamine and atrophine respectively to be injected into the IV drip. Send to observation room for 48 hour observation."  The doctor ordered.


 "Yes doctor!"


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Eri remained seated at the waiting area, waiting anxiously for any updates from the medical staffs, the situation of Ai at the moment. 'Why had all these happened? This is supposed to be a celebratory event, and not what it had ended up now. Risa being locked up, Ai-san in the emergency room. What should I do?' Eri sighed in desperation as she ran her fingers through her hair.


The vibration in her bag attracted her attention. Flipping through her messy bag, which had contained some of the personal documents and belongings of Ai she had picked up before the ambulance came, Eri tried to locate the vibrating phone. 

'Finally.' Eri thought as she pulled out the phone. 'Nakazawa-san?' Eri had her eyes wide open at the screen.


"Hello, this is Kamei Eri."


"Of course I know you are Kamei Eri." Came the answer from the receiver.


"Sorry." Eri apologised, with shades of red of embarrassment running across her cheek. 'What an embarrass thing to do that, Eri.'


"Kamei-san, I saw the newspaper today. Is that really Ai-chan on it?" Yuko questioned.


'Should I tell her about what happened to Ai-san?' Eri debated.


"Hello, are you there?" Yuko continued, as Eri had yet to answer her over the phone.


"Hai! I am still here." Eri answered. 'Should I, or should I not?'


"So is that Ai-chan? Is the other the friend you had mentioned the previous time?" Yuko asked again.


"Ano . . . Nakazawa-san?" The questions that Yuko had been asking did not register in Eri's mind at all. All these time, Eri had her mind on the debate whether should she inform Yuko about Ai's admission to the hospital.


"Yes? Have you been listening to what I was asking?"


"Takahashi-san is now in the ER" Eri muttered quickly under her breath.


"What did you say?  I didn't catch what you were saying?"


"Takahashi-san is now in the ER." Eri repeated, this time round, slower but in a quivery voice.


"WHAT?!"


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"I don't want to . . . I don't want to . . . " Risa whimpered softly in her sleep.


Renni patted Risa softly at her head, running her hands slowly down Risa's hair. "Risa-ko. I know you don't want to . . . But . . . " Renni whispered softly to the sleeping child before her. "But. . . there's nothing much we can do. The company's reputation is always Papa's first top priority. . . You had crossed the line too much this time round . . . "


"Ai . . . " Risa whimpered this time round. 


'Ai . . . That girl had the same name as my Ai-chan, didn't she? I wonder . . . where is she now. . . Had she blamed us for leaving her alone?' Tears began to flow as memories of her daughter flooded her consciences.


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"Who was the one who brought the patient, Takahashi Ai in?" The doctor-in-charge voiced out to the waiting area as he got out of the procedure room, wanting to talking to Ai's next of kin.


"It was me." Eri raised her hand and spoke up. She then got up immediately from the seat and closed nearer to the doctor. "Is she okay? Is she in any danger?"


"She's now on her way to the observation room." The doctor informed."We will talk as we head to the observation room."


"Okay." Eri answered, as started to walk by the side of the doctor.


"May I ask, who are you to the patient?" The doctor questioned, before deciding whether was it appropriate to disclose the details to Eri.


"I'm her . . . " Eri started off and paused for a moment. 'In what position am I standing here? Her psychologist who should be obligated to the well being of her patient, or just a normal friend, being worried about her friend's situation?' Eri turned towards the doctor and found him staring at her questionably, waiting for Eri's answer. "Friend. So is Ai-san alright?"


The doctor hesitated for a moment. The pause that Eri took made him ponder whether was it alright to allow Eri to know about Ai. But he left it as what it was. "She shouldn't be in any danger. As you should know, overdose of Benzodiazepine  is seldom death threatening. We will have to wait for the pathological report to see which class of Benzodiazepine did she took to access the risk factor. Though that, she had very weak vitals when she was admitted in. The only thing we can do now is to monitor her vitals, and not letting them to drop lower anymore. And also, we have removed the scrap glasses from her forearm. They are of nothing serious. No major veins were cut."


"Thank god . . . " Eri mutter under her breath, releasing a small sigh of relieve.


"But . . . " The doctor continued.


"But?" Eri echoed and turned her attention to back what the doctor had to continue.


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"Risa-ko . . .wake up" A gentle tug on Risa's shoulder accompanied by the familiar voice woke her up. "We are leaving. . . "


Risa opened her eyes abruptly upon hearing the fact that they were about to leave for home. She shook her head vigorously, and started to beg again. "Mama . . . No.  . . I don't want to go home. . . "


"Risa-ko . . ."


"Let's go. No more nonsense from you, Risa." Before Renni could hoax Risa, Retora walked into the room and grabbed Risa by hand and pulled her out of the room.


"Papa . . . " Risa cried out.


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Eri sat by the bedside, beside the numerous machine that were attached to Ai at the moment.


"The ingestion of Benzodiazepine by the patient is obviously an act of suicidal. There will be large amount of follow up to be done after the patient regain conscious. I think there is a need for referral to the psychiatrist."
 

'If only she allows . . . Doctor.' Eri thought in her mind as she remembered what the doctor had told her previously. 'What actually happened, Ai-san? Why are you such a big mystery, that no one up to date has the ability to solve it?'


"How is she?" A third voice in the room broke Eri's mind of thought. She turned over to the entrance of the door and saw Yuko walking in briskly and anxiously, knocking over one of the table stand in the process.


Eri stood up immediately to greet Yuko. "Nakazawa-san, are you okay?" Eri asked as she walked over to Yuko and helped her up.


"I'm alright. How's Ai-chan?" Yuko asked, rushing over to the bedside.


"She regaining back her vitals now. Which is optimistic as said by the doctor." Eri explained.


"That's good. I'm relieved." Yuko muttered to herself, as she brush the fringe of Ai away from the face lovingly. "Poor girl . . . "


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{Ai, reply me please . . . -Risa} Risa sent her nth message to Ai as she stood beside her Renni and the check in counter, waiting to get their boarding passes.


"Things will not change by that, Risa-ko. Keep the phone before Papa sees it. Papa is firm with his decision. You too, stop torturing yourself by thinking of that girl again, Risa-ko."


"Mama . . . " Risa whined softly to her mother, with tears threatening to fall off her eyes.


'Ai, did you really meant it when you say we should stop? Was it from the bottom of your heart. Had I not touched your heart? No. It's not true. I did right? I did right? Then why are you not replying me? Why?'


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Eri sighed deeply at the scene before her. Ai's house was in a mess. The cluster of broken glass near the doorway was one good example. Traces of blood can be observed on some of the scrape glasses.


With Yuko accompanying Ai at the moment, Eri can afford to leave the hospital. She had decided to return to Ai's apartment to pack some necessities for her stay in the hospital.


'Maybe I can clear up the mess as well.'  Eri thought. Placing her bag on the floor beside the door, Eri rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and scooted towards the kitchen, in searching for the broom and dustpan. Sweeping the glasses off the floor, Eri poured them onto a stack of newspaper that she had found, and wrapped them properly, before disposing into the dustbin.


'The watch, it's still here. . . ' Eri noted as she saw the purple box at the old position.


And now, the art book lying on the coffee table had caught her attention. 'Does Ai-san has a interest to draw? I never knew.' Eri thought as she picked up the book. Being curious, Eri flipped the book to a random page and that left her to be rooted onto the ground.


'This . . . '


Then, she suddenly remembered one important thing that had totally slipped out of her mind. 'Risa!' Having her mind preoccupied by the fact that Ai had tried to kill herself and was admitted to the hospital, Eri had totally forgot about her best friend. 'She's hurt too . . . Ai-san is not the only one who had suffered from this. Risa too.'


Closing the art book and grabbed it in her hold, Eri rushed towards the wardrobe and took and few changes of clean clothing for Ai, and together with the art book, she had packed them into her overly messy bag.


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Risa stared blankly at the outside from her position at the window seat. 'This is no longer the sky that I will fly. I could no longer fly freely under this sky, like how I wished I could. I could no longer reach you anymore . . . Not anymore . . . I can no longer be by your side. . . Not anymore. . . ' Risa thought, as the salty crystal fell.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"Risa?" Eri called out as she opened the door of her apartment, expecting to see Risa and her parents preparing to leave for home. But no. An empty apartment was what had welcomed her.


Pulling her phone out from her jean's pocket, Eri dialled the familiar number that belongs to her best friend.


"You have reach the mailbox of Niigaki Risa and this means that I am currently busy and unable to answer your call. If you have something that you need to tell me, please try calling me at a later time. If not you can also chose to leave a message behind. But please be sure that you name yourself properly. Thank you."


'Too late. . . I'm too late . . . ' Eri thought as she hang up the phone.


Reaching her hand into her bag, Eri pulled out the art book she had picked up from Ai's apartment. 'This  . . . may contain the clues to solve the mystery. . . But can I look through them at my own discretion, without the permission of the owner . . .   But I am positive about what I had saw just now was . . .'


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bleh~ I'm stopping here. And THIS is reall the end of the daily updates. . . I'm positive
The next chapter would be until the weekends, or next wednesday . . .

Now going on to the replying of messages :

@ oddball : Hihi! I was on updating spree last week . . . .but now i guess you won't miss much now yupps. and things will continue to get complicated as the chapters go, so enjoy ^.^

@ Bamtai: Yes Papa Gaki is mean . . . . But I guessed, there were reasons for them? hehehe . . Nope, i won't be that hardhearted to kill my Ai . . . .So, relax relax. .

@ rndmnwierd : nope. Risa do not know that she was an adopted daughter. . .as said by alwaysYou, I mentioned that Risa had no memories of herself prior to the age of 5

@ SarangAi : Hmmm . . Kinda of? Ai managed to recognise to know that were her parents from the voice of the mother, who had been ringing in her dreams everyday. She actually could not remember how did they looked like. So. And no, her parents don't recognise Ai either, due to 18 years and growing up . . . .Yupps

And no, Ai did not cut herself. The cuts are accidental, when she dropped onto the broken glass on the floor . ..

@ alwaysYou : Yes, the mum did remember the name . . . Not sure whether if the dad do though . . .. HMMMM. . .  and HMMMM and HMMMM

@ Beecubed : Now . . . comes the long reply . . . Hhahah

First thing first, THANK YOU for falling in love with the story. I really appreciate that!

This story's been with you since 4 years ago? Why has it taken you so long to post this?

Eh . . .. It was a long story. It's the final year of my 'high school' (what people usually mentioned as) and school works and school commitment kinda stopped me from writing. Plus the many things that happened in my life then, and loss of urge to write to express myself, the idea kinda faded away . . .  and I stopped writing (for serious) until late last year where I read back the stuffs I'd written before. I felt that I want to get back to writting. When the idea came in, i was in a different kind of fandom, and i wrote prominently in my mother tongue, as I had mention in the first chapter. So when I'd decided to get back to writing, this story came straight into my mind. It was close to my heart and I really wanted to finish it. So with different characters and stuff, i started writing it in english in sep last year. I stopped the second time, having stucked at the same problem when i got to HP fandom =X It remained lying on my laptop for 7 months, until one day in april, it slipped back into my mind again. hahaha. So changing the characters once again, and i'm glad that i'd made it thus far.  ..

About Orange Days, that was one of my favourite J-drama as well! I came stumbling upon the show in 2008 - 2009 and I loved it to the max, and had actually wanted to learn Sign language as well. hahah.

Ah . ..

Anyway... I'll never cease to be amazed by writers whose first language isn't English, but who still manage to blow me away with their story and their storytelling,

How to say . . . English is actually considered my first language . =X but i'm really bad in it. Seriously. I'm totally not a language person because I'm bad in writting in my mother tongue as well. yupps.

The song . . .it's 飄零燕 by twins(can be translated into the wandering swallows in english *i think* ). If by any chance you need translations to the lyrics, i can help. [Anyway, i was thinking to only reveal the song at the end of the story, in the form of credits. but since you'd asked, i will just reveal this first ]

you have to wonder then, what exactly is Ai-chan suffering from? Just a social disorder she had straight from birth?

That's for you and me and other readers to find out then *evil grin*

Now, we have a lot of background information on Ai, but Risa’s past has only been skimmed through, and I wonder if I’m the only one here who’s this anxious to know more about Gaki-san's past - how did she come to the Niigaki family in the first place? Who are/were her real parents? What happened exactly, such that Niigaki papa ended up with Risa as his daughter? Why can’t she remember anything about her past before coming to the Niigaki family? I have to assume that Risa believes the Niigakis are her real family… I AM SO CURIOUS ABOUT THIS. =_____= Hopefully, you will be revealing more about Risa’s history as the story continues; it isn’t fair that we only know about Ai’s!

Hehehehe. . . .i will touch on that . . . .soon


AND

THANK YOU VERY MUCH TOO for loving this this story and posting such a long comment. I can never tell you how wide the grin i had on my face when i read your comment. . . . and yes. . .i must be ashamed that, your comment is actually longer that majority of my chapters. . . *hides*  HAHAH

Once again .. .  Thank you for reading!!

@ kano-chan : Nope Ai did not cut herself. I'm pretty sure alot of people hates the dad over here . .. hmmm ... hmmm...  Thank You!!!!

And this is then END

Until the next chapter then!

Jan~

[oddball]

So it seems as though Ai will recover, at least physically but mentally it may take a lot longer than any physical wounds......

Gaki is still, well I suppose trapped with her 'parents', it seems as though Renni remebers about Ai, what will happen when they meet? how will Gaki escape, or will she leave with her parents?

[eruchan]

omg... Ai is hospitalized and Gaki get dragged home by her dad...
ah... the mom still remembers Ai's name... of course she still remembers her little girl...
now what will Eri and Gaki do...

[kano-chan]

Noooo! TakaGaki cannot be separated! This is so sad!

What's in Ai-chan's sketchbook??

I was hoping maybe Risa would fight and punch her dad in the face or something. This is her love life and he's so selfish. Everything he did was for business.

I'll be waiting~

[rndmnwierd]

Whew, I'm glad Ai is okay, but what about Risa? Will she be okay? I wonder if Risa's mama will help somehow.

@ rndmnwierd : nope. Risa do not know that she was an adopted daughter. . .as said by alwaysYou, I mentioned that Risa had no memories of herself prior to the age of 5

There I go with my attention to detail again.

[caiyunki]

[Chapter 17 - The Situation]


The gentle sound of the knocking door echoed in the room of Risa.


"Risa-ko. . . Breakfast is ready down at the dining table . . . Do you want to come down and join Papa and I at the dining table?" A similarly gentle voice continued after the knocking of the door.


"I'm not hungry . . . " Risa replied monotonously from her position on the bed. She was sitting on the covers of the bed, with her back leaning against the cold metal of the bed.


"Are you sure? You haven't eaten anything since yesterday, Risa-ko" Renni continued with obvious concern sounding in her voice.


"I said I'm not hungry." Risa replied once again, with the same tone in her voice. "I will eat if I'm hungry, Mama." Risa finished, hoping that her mom would leave her alone, for the silence that she wanted.


"I will leave some food for you. Do you want me to bring it up for you?" Renni asked again, hoping to get some decent respond of wanting to eat from Risa.


"No. I'm not hungry." Risa repeated the third time.


"If that's the case . . . I will leave you alone, Risa. But promise Mama that you will at least eat something. I need not need you to eat now, but at least have some food in your system, later in the day, please?" Renni begged, as she waited patiently for Risa's answer on the other side of the door.


"Okay." Risa gave her one word promise, with herself with no intention of fulfilling it in the first place. She had just did that to had her mother to leave her alone. Receiving no more comments by the person at the other side of the door, Risa finally allow herself to burrow her face into the huge Mickey plushie that she had been hugging all the while, and began to let out the soft cries she had been holding.


'And after all these while, here I am . . . once again . . . stuck in here. . . Nothing's here after all . . . There's nothing that I wanted nor nothing I want to be. . . .' Risa cried out in her mind.


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"Good morning, Kamei-san." Eri was greeted by Miki the first thing she set her feet into the clinic.


"Good morning to you too, Fujimoto-san" Eri returned, with tinge of tiredness flowing out in her voice. "Nakazawa-san is not coming in today as well. Can you please help to inform her patients about it?" Eri informed.


"Sure."


Eri then dragged her feet across the waiting area and back into her own office. This was the second morning since the Ai's admission into the hospital. The first morning began with Eri reaching back to her empty home, realising that Risa and her parents had left for Kyoto. After changing off her outfit, Eri returned back to the hospital, only to be told by Yuko that she had decided to stay in the hospital and not going back to the clinic. And that, resulted in Eri's busy day at work.


Leaning her back against the backrest of the chair, Eri closed her eyes. The moment she closed her eyes, the image she saw in Ai's sketchbook flashed back into her mind, causing her eyes to open in reflex. 'It's her . . . I'm sure it's her . . . But. . . Why?' Eri thought In her mind.


Eri shifted her attention towards the same sketchbook that was now lying on the edge of her work table, where the rest of her documents regarding Ai was. 'This is so tempting . . . But if I looked into it at my own discretion, what will then happen to my own personal ethics, regarding the privacy of others?'


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"Kamei-san?" A voice from the other side of the door called her.


"Come in." Eri ordered as she closed the file of her previous patient. Turning her attention towards the clock in front of her desk, Eri had finally realised that it was the already the closing time of the office. 'Time really flies when you are really busy. . .'


"Are you going over to the hospital after this?" Miki asked as she entered Eri's office.


Eri nodded her head at the question as she quickened her pace in packing up, putting those confidential files into the locked cupboard and locked them up.


"Can I come with you?" Miki asked.


The question caught Eri's interest, causing Eri to turn away from the things she had been doing and looked at Miki with a shock expression.


"Ai-chan had always been a sweet girl during her visits. I want to pay a visit to her." Miki explained.


"It should be alright . . ." Eri answered. 'I wonder, has Ai-san regained her conscious yet?'


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"Risa-ko, dinner's ready." A gentle knock followed by the familiar question came sounding into the room.


"I'm not hungry." Risa, who was still in the same position, answered the question.


"You can't be doing this to yourself, Risa-ko. You are going to starve yourself to death, if you continue to refuse to eat, dear." The voice continued, with overflowing concern flowing in it.


'Wouldn't it be better, if I am off to death?'  Risa thought bitterly in her mind. "I said I am not hungry."


The sound of footsteps disappearing down the stairs was echoed into the room.


"Ne  . . Ai-san, can you wait for me over here for a moment? I will be back soon." Risa asked suddenly. Not waiting for Ai's response, Risa turned and ran towards the direction where the two of them had just came from.


'Confession is never complete without flowers.' Risa thought in her mind as she kept her speed in running, back to the florist shop she had saw down the street when they were walking together.


'How many should I get? What kind of flowers does Ai-san likes?' Questions like that kept flooding Risa's mind. 'How about 9 red and 1 white? would that be nice?'


"For you!" Risa presented the flowers right in front of Ai's face from Ai's back. "Hope that you like them." Risa said, with slight shades of redness running across her cheeks.


Without thinking, Risa slipped her hands conveniently into Ai' and began to guide Ai in progressing forward. And that was only until soft lip touched her burning cheek. Realising that Ai had just kissed her, Risa turned to her left, expecting to see Ai standing over there. But no. Ai had ran away from her. "You are such a sly!" Risa pouted childishly as she chased after Ai.


Running over her cheeks, Risa realised the tears of hers had ran off her eyes selfishly. 'How are you Ai? Why did you leave? Why didn't you pull me out together with you at that point of time? Why did you say . . . that we shouldn't be continuing after all? If you really meant that, why did you kiss me in the first place?'


Picking up her mobile phone, once again, Risa sent a message to Ai, hoping that this time round, she would be able to get some response from the girl she had been missing like crazy.


{Ai, I missed you. . . -Risa}


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"Nakazawa-san? What are you doing out here? Did any complications happened?" Eri exclaimed as she was surprised to find Yuko sitting alone at the chairs in the corridor outside the observation room when she and Miki were walking down it.


"Kamei-san, Fujimoto-san, you guys are here?" Yuko responded. The loud voice of Eri woke Yuko out of her dreamland.


"What are you doing outside here? Did something happened to Takahashi-san?" Eri asked again when she reached beside Yuko.


Yuko shook her head at her question. "Ai-chan had regained her conscious. The doctor had checked on her, saying that she's alright for now, with her vitals back to the normal."


"Really?" Eri squealed a little and quickly approached towards the room before Yuko stopped her.


"But . . ."


"But?" Eri and Miki asked at the same time.


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Yuko sat alone by the bedside of Ai, watching the sleeping figure of Ai quietly. 'Ai-chan. . . it's been 18 years. . . 18 years since you had walked into my office, into my life. Like Kamei-san, you were the first patient I had. Being so young that time, you had really grew on me, just like a little sister to me. . .'


Ai flicked opened her eyes, and closed them immediately again. The bright environment hurt her eyes. And once again, Ai tried opening her eyes again, slowly and blinking them from time to time, allowing her eyes to get use to the light in the room. 'Where am I? Am I where I am supposed to be?'


"Ai-chan? You're awake?" Yuko exclaimed excitedly as she saw the Ai regaining her conscious.


'Where am I ?' The question rang in Ai's mind again. 'What had happened?'


Turning her head slowly to the left, she saw an excited Yuko standing beside her, muttering a series of words that her brain could not register. 'Nakazawa-san? Why is she here? Where am I?'


Ai closed her eyes again, forcing herself to remember what had happened.


Pain and pressure were built on her throat as she forced herself to open her mouth to speak to the girl who was hugging her lovingly in her embrace.


Mama . . . Papa . . .


Ai shot her eyes open again and shoot up from her sitting position. 'Risa . . . That little girl in my dreams . . '


"Ai-chan, are you alright? Do you want me to call the doctor over?" Yuko asked caringly.


'Why am I still alive? Why am I still breathing? I shouldn't be still living on this earth, wasting the resources that could be of better use to other people. Even them . . . They had chosen someone else to be their daughter instead. . . not me." Ai cried out in her mind, as tears made their way down her face.


"Ai-chan . . " Yuko called out as she closed herself towards Ai, wanting to pull the girl towards her, wanting to comfort her.


(But I promised, I won't abuse them)


'I betrayed her trust.' Ai thought. ' You betrayed her trust, Ai. You are not worthy for her. You are not worthy of all these care and concern she had been showering on you all these years.' Came another voice, causing Ai to push Yuko away from her. ' I'm not worthy of all these. I'm not.'


Picking up the pillow that she was lying on, she threw it towards Yuko, indicating to her that she wants her to be out of the room.


'Please leave, Nakazawa-san.' Ai cried in her mind. 'I'm not worthy of all these. I'm not.


"Ai-chan . . ."


Ai's body started to tremble vigorously again, with her hands shaking uncontrollably. Looking at her surrounding, looking at the medical machines that were attached to her, Ai trembled. 'You are not worthy of all these.' 


Using her trembling right hand, she reached towards her left hand and pulled the IV needle out of her, causing blood to flow out promptly, staining the pure white bed sheet.


"Ai-chan, don't do that." Yuko tried to rush forward to stop Ai's action, only to be pushed away by Ai again.


(Get out.)


"Ai-chan . . . " Yuko got herself nearer to Ai again, but was once again pushed away.


The doctor had finally came running into the room, with 3 nurses following behind him. Two of them tried to grab hold of Ai, with the doctor trying to inject mild sedatives to calm Ai down. The other nurse came forward to Yuko. "Sorry, I think it's better for you to wait at the corridor."


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"Sorry for interrupting, but is there anyone whom I can talk to regarding the patient, Takahashi Ai?" The doctor came forward towards the three women and spoke.


Eri looked at Yuko, whilst Yuko looked at Eri.


"Kamei-san, would you like to do that?" Yuko asked.


"But . .. " Eri started. 'But I thought it would be better for you to, Nakazawa-san, since Ai-san is more of a family member to you . . .'


"I will leave Ai into your care. Please." Yuko asked as she stood up from the seat and walked towards the door, peeking into the observation room where Ai was laid in through the glass window of the wooden door.


"Hai. Wakarimashita." Eri responded as she stood up and followed the doctor back to his office.


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"Kamei-san?" The doctor called out.


"Hai. Kamei Eri." Eri introduced as she made herself comfortable onto the chair.


"The situation of Takahashi-san has been stabilised. Her vital signs are looking good as for now, and she had regained her conscious from the effects of the tranquiliser she had took." The doctor explained. "However, we have evaluated that her state of mental as instable. We have discussed on this issue and had decided to refer Takahashi-san to the psychiatric ward now.


"What?" Eri blurt out.


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"Risa-ko, I'm coming in." Renni informed as she enter Risa's room with a tray of food in her hand. "I left some food from dinner for you."


"I'm not hungry." Risa answered as she looked out of the window of her room.


"I will leave it on your table." Renni said, ignoring the comment Risa had just made.


After she had placed the food on Risa's study table, she sauntered towards where Risa was, and sat beside Risa at the empty area on the bed.


"I know you are angry with Papa and me, but torturing yourself is not a good way to show that, Risa-ko." Renni started speaking softly to Risa as she wiped away the tears that were flowing from her eyes. "Please be good to yourself. Don't torture yourself, dear."


"I know." Risa responded as she pushed away her mother's hand away from her face. "I'm really not hungry. I will eat when I'm hungry." Risa assured.


"I really hope you will, Risa."


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Eri was down on the bed after the whole day of exhaustion. 'This is so tiring . . . Now what? Not only that we do not know what happened to Ai-san in the past that had caused her mutism, we have her ended up in the psychiatric ward. Why had things gone this bad? Would things been better if I had never took up this case?'
 

The ringing phone of hers had interrupted Eri's thought. Eri answered the call without looking at the screen.


"Hello. This is Kamei Eri speaking."


". . . . . . "


"Hello?"


". . . . . . "


"I'm going to hang up the call if you don't speak." Eri threatened. Prank calls was the last thing she wanted right now in addition to her hills of worries.


"Eri . . . "


"Risa?" Eri perked up at the familiar voice over the phone, changing the tone of her voice.


". . . . . . "


"Risa are you alright? Back home?" Eri asked with concern. She had been so busy that she had not had the time and thought to call her best friend to check on her well being.


"Hmmm." Risa responded with an almost inaudible voice.


"You sound like a death pig. Have you been not eating again?" Eri asked, hitting straight into the fact. The silence of Risa had told her the answer. "You know you shouldn't be doing that."


"I . . . Ai . . . " Risa broke into a series of sobs.


'She had not know what happened to Ai . . . Should I tell her? But . . .what can she do? She's already troubled enough by the fact that she's stuck back home again?' Eri thought.


"Risa . . . Don’t think about too much now. We will thing about the solution to get you out of the house soon, okay? As for now, don't torture yourself. You need to keep yourself alive, for the things you have been chasing for all these while. Don't starve yourself anymore." Eri pleaded, deciding that she should keep Ai's situation a secret from Risa for the time being, until Risa had gotten up to her feet again.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hihi! I am determined to finish 1 chapter before i get started on my next assignment. So sorry if this chapter is a little too short or 'boring'. But . . . This is definately going to lead to something. Hopefully i will write a longer one for my next chapter.

Until then~

[rndmnwierd]

So now we get to see how everyone is doing. Quite sad that no one is coping well. I hope some action will happen in the next chapter, but I can't possibly imagine what.

[Shiawase_Honoo]

This chapter, I can't guess what it will be in the next scene...
So it attracted me a lot

[alwaysYou]

update!!   
was waiting for weekends 

somehow, even i hope Eri will tell Gakisan how was Aichan, but i'm glad she didnt do it..Gakisan have to stand up first, Eri cant afford another friend to collaspe..and when it will be so hard to get Gakisan out of her house

as for Aichan, arrr, its so sad 
she such a negative person here..she just blame herself for everything
she even push away Yuko now..
really wonder how Eri is gonna pull Ai out from all this or she wont even be able to do it and end with last choice, get risa out from her house and gakisan will be the one doing it
But since Ai already know that Gakisan was the little girl that her parents choose..I think Ai definitely lock herself away from Gakisan more, so gakisan can be the good/best daughter of her parents..and when Gakisan know she's the one who snatch away and indirect cause Ai to become like this, it might end up, Gakisan running away from Ai too..ahhh which i hope not..

looking forward to next chp..
Nice chp/story

[kano-chan]

This chapter wasn't boring! But it was so sad!

How is Risa going to get away from her father's grasp and control? Maybe we need Ai-chan for that... But what's going to happen with Ai-chan now??

What's in that sketchbook?!

Awaiting for your next..

[astro18]

This fic... is amazing So sad I love it though. Can't wait for next chap

[caiyunki]

@ kano-chan : What's in the sketch book? I'm not telling you now . . .  But it's gonna to be revealed soon . . . .So behold!!

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[Chapter 18] - Don't Leave Me

 
"I have decided." Retora cleared his throat and spoke over the dining table during breakfast. "You are going to get married the eldest son of Matsumoto Corporation."


"WHAT?!" Risa blurted her first sentence towards her father since the day he had dragged her home a month ago. "No way." Risa continued defiantly.


"It's your mess to clean up, Risa. It's because of all what you did, which had led to what the company is facing right now. All the other business corporations had boycotted us, saying that MY daughter, which is you, is a huge disgrace! Getting married to Matsumoto is the only way to clear the mess you had made!" Retora lectured across the table, causing Risa to fall into silence. "Make sure you attend the press conference this afternoon." He continued to order.


"No way." Risa muttered as she stood up from her seat and walked away from the table.


"Don't think that you can escape from this by not attending the press conference. I will still announce this even if you are not attending." Retora challenged.


"I'm still not going." Risa returned defiantly as she stomped her way up the stairs and back into her room.


'There's no way I'm gonna to allow that to happen. He had taken away my freedom . . . There's no way I'm gonna to allow him to take away the only happiness that I can have . . . I need to get away. . . ' Risa thought.


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Ai sat alone at the corner of the recreation room of the psychiatric ward, staring at the screen of the television. Though her eyes were fixed on the television, her mind was not. Like any other people in the room, her mind was somewhere else.


{Ai, can you please reply my message. Once. Once will do. At least please let me know how are you doing now. And that's enough. Really. Please. - Risa}


Ai had her mind on the latest mail she had gotten from Risa. Even though Ai had been ignoring every one of them, it seems like the other girl had no intention of giving up until she had received once decent reply from Ai. 'Maybe . . . I should . . .'


" Sorry for interrupting this programme, but we have just receive a news regarding the ongoing press conference which the Niigaki Corporation is holding this afternoon. . . "


The name 'Niigaki Corporation' had brought her mind and attention back to the television. 'Niigaki Corporation . . . Risa-san . . . Mama . . . Papa. . . ' Ai tried to shut her mind at the memory, but she failed.


"My daughter had expressed her interest on the eldest son of Matsumoto Corporation even since at a young age. And since my daughter is at the age of marriage, I will hereby announce the marriage between Matsumoto Naoki and my daughter, Niigaki Risa. The ceremony will be held in three months time -"


And the television screen went blank, causing the rest of the occupants of the room to turn their attention to Ai at the sudden silence. Throwing the remote control back onto the couch she was seated in, Ai stomped back into her room.


'Lies . . . Lies . . . All those she had said, all those she had been messaging me . . .they are all lies. ALL LIES!'


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Eri giggled softly at the joke Miki had just told her. The two of them were having their lunch together at the nearby café from their workplace.


"Don't say such things, Miki-san. It sounds so stupid coming from you." Eri laughed again.


"At least you are cheered up now, Eri-san. For the whole month, you have been so tense up." Miki reasoned.


"Well, it was indeed a long month for me, with so much things happening around me. At least for now, thankfully, Ai's withdrawal symptoms from the tranquiliser are at the brighter side. Hopefully she will start communicating to us again . . ." Eri sighed deeply as she continued, turning her attention towards the television behind Miki.


". . . I will hereby announce the marriage between Matsumoto Naoki and my daughter, Niigaki Risa. The ceremony will be held in three months time at the. . ."


"Are you serious?!" Eri exclaimed as she shot up from her seat. Fishing her phone out from her handbag, Eri called the person of interest that had caused her sudden shock.


"What happened?" Miki puzzled, blinking questionably at Eri's action.


Eri shook her head at Miki's question as she held her phone to her ears, waiting for the girl to answer her call.


"RISA!" Eri shouted into the phone. "Is that the truth? What your dad had said over the media?"


"He really did that?!" Risa groaned in exasperation over the phone.


And silence persisted within the conversation for a moment.


"Are you really going to marry to that Matsumoto Naoki? He's a jerk!" Eri continued asking, when she realised that Risa and sunk into silence. And that statement from Eri surprised Miki, for that it was the first time Miki had heard Eri using such crude language.


". . . . . . " Silence was the only answer Eri got from Risa.


"Risa?" Eri spoke into the receiver, hoping to get some attention from her best friend.


"I will talk to you again, Eri. Until I had my thoughts settled." Risa answered after the prompt from Eri. "Thank you for calling, Eri . . . "


"RISA?" Eri exclaimed. And the next moment, before Eri could say anything else, she was cut off the line. Eri let out an angry groaned as she removed the phone away from her ear and threw it back into her handbag. "Baka." Eri muttered under her breath.

 
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'He did it again . . .Against my wish, against my will. . . And why am I still doing here, in this house where there's no freedom, no life?' Risa thought bitterly as she placed her mobile phone on the dressing table and flopped herself onto her comfy bed, face flat on the soft cover.


"Risa . . . Don’t think about too much now. We will thing about the solution to get you out of the house soon, okay? As for now, don't torture yourself. You need to keep yourself alive, for the things you have been chasing for all these while. Don't starve yourself anymore."


'Eri's right. I shouldn’t be torturing myself.' Risa thought as she got off her bed, wobbling a little as her feet touched the ground. She stumbled slowly towards the table where Renni had left the food on and sat down on the chair, picking up the utensils and began to bring the food slowly into her mouth.


'What am I suppose to do now? What's my purpose now?' Risa wondered in her mind as she picked up another spoonful of rice. 'How is she? Why did Eri told me anything regarding her? Did something bad happened to her?' Placing the food back to the plate, Risa got up from the chair and back to her bed where her phone was.


{What are you doing now? I'm missing you so much, Ai. Would you please, please reply me? What should I do now? I wanna to be by your side right now, but I can't. Do you want me to be with you, Ai? Reply me please! -Risa}   


(I have thought about it. In the end, I don't think I can trust my heart to anybody else except myself, Risa)


'Am I that not trustable?'


And when Risa opened her eyes, she realised, it was already starting to get dark. The orange light outside the window told Risa evening was coming. 'How long have I been lying there?' Risa wondered as she pushed herself up to a sitting position.


'I must do something. . . Maybe I should get away again?' The thought of running away from home again rang in Risa's mind. However, it had only lasted for a short moment. [/i]'But where else can I go? There's no way I can go to Eri again. They would have guessed that so. I need to get to somewhere where no one else knew, no one else could find me . . . '[/i]


And Risa sat at the position for an hour, racking her brain for possible places she could go, until a knock at the door brought her back to reality.


"Risa-ko, dinner's ready"


"Okay. I'm coming." Risa replied monotonously as she got up from her position. 'Tonight's gonna be the night. I can't stay here anymore. Not anymore.'


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"Ai-san, I'm coming in." Eri informed as she knocked the door of Ai's room before entering.


Just like the other days, Ai just sat on her bed, not making any eye contact with Eri nor having any signs of wanting to communicate to Eri. Things had been so much better now as compared to a month ago, where Ai practically drove everyone who came for visitation out of the room.


"How's your day today, Ai-san?" Eri walked over to the bed and sat down on the chair by the bedside.


Ai made no effort in trying to reply Eri. Instead, she turned away from facing Eri and focused on the water dispenser on the other side of the room.


'You are still not communicating to anyone, Ai-san. What had happened to you? You were not like this when I first knew you. What had caused your total mutism to further progress to an advance state?' Eri thought desperately in her mind as she furrowed her eyebrow to show her worries and frustration.


Eri then turned, glancing around the room to note the surrounding, making notes to herself how would had Ai's day went by. Her eyes stopped when she reached the corner or the room, right where the door was situated. And there, laid a broken phone . Eri stood up from the seat and walked over, picking up the very much damaged phone from the floor.

 
"What happened to your phone, Ai-san?" Eri asked hopefully, though she had no expectation that Ai would answer her question. And there, she was right with her expectation. Ai looked away from the eye contact Eri made and stared off to the other side of the room.


"Ai-san. If you don't say anything, I can't help with anything, do you know that? All of us are so worried till dead for you." Eri cried out, hoping that this would evoke any reaction from Ai.


'You don't have to. I'm better off alone. There's no need for you to do that, Eri-san.'  Ai thought in her mind as she remained staring at the empty space of the room.


"Ai-san!" Eri called out again.


And this time round, Ai reacted. She got off her bed from the other side and grabbed Eri's handbag by the bed. Pacing herself towards Eri, she shoved the bag into Eri's arm and pulled her wrist, until she reached the door. Pushing Eri lightly outside the room, Ai closed the door right onto Eri's face.


'What had happened to her again? I thought she was alright with us visiting the past few days. What had caused her to start throwing people out of her room again? What had caused her to throw her phone at the wall, until such a damage?' Eri questioned within herself as she scrutinised the broken mobile phone on her palm.


"Missy!" Eri called out to one of the nurses down the counter. "Can I asked what had Takahashi-san did today?"


"She spent most of her afternoon in the recreation room. She was all normal, doing the usual things she does every day. But all of the sudden, she switched the television off and stomped back to her room." The nurse informed.


'Recreation room. . . Television . . . TELEVISION?!' Realisation struck Eri. "Thank you for informing." Eri thanked the nursed. She then turned to another direction, making her way out of hospital. 'So . . .Risa still affects the way she reacts very much. . . '


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It was 11 pm in the night. Risa, sifting her way through her bedroom in the dark, trying to pack her necessities that she would need into her backpack. 'This is the last.' Risa thought as she grabbed her passport from her safe locker and slipped it into her backpack, zipping them up in the process. Glancing through her room for the one last time, Risa held her right hand at the door knob and turned it slowly, reducing the amount of sound she would made.


And as the door opened, she was froze in her steps. 'Mama . . .'  Risa called out in her mind. Renni as seated at the stairway, looking at Risa straight into the eye. 'What is Mama doing here?'


"I knew you are going to run away again tonight." Renni whispered softly.


Risa looked away to her left side, trying to hide the guiltiness she felt for being exposed.


"Before you leave, can you accompany Mama to one place?" Renni asked softly.


And that caught Risa in surprised. She looked up once again at Renni with her wide opened eyes. 'Mama's gonna let me leave? ' The expression she had in her eye had revealed what was in her mind.


Renni nodded her head. "Would you accompany me to one place?" Renni whispered again.


Risa nodded her head with tears forming in her eyes. 'Thank you, Mama.'


"Let's go . . .Renni reached her arms towards Risa, and pulled her closer to her body.


Getting out of the house and stopped in front of the family car, Risa was confused. The family chauffer was not there.

 
"Get in. What are you waiting for?" Renni asked as she got into the driver's seat.


"Where's Ume-san?" Risa asked.


"He didn't know we are going out. Get in." Renni asked again.


"Mama . . .You know how to drive?" Risa asked stupidly.


"Of course. If not, I would not be doing this, Risa-ko."


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The car made its way through the main roads of Kyoto. Looking out of the window, the usual infrastructure had slowly disappeared and the lights on the streets are started to fade as well. From moving on a horizontal road, Risa slowly realised that they were now moving uphills.


'Its here . . . The place where Mama always brings me to watch the stars.' Risa noted silently in her mind.


And they had finally reached the destination they both had in their mind. The mountain top.


"I just want you to accompany me here again . . . before I let you go, Risa-ko. We haven't been here together for years, since you graduated from high school . . ." Renni explained quietly as she took off the seatbelt, grabbed her handbag, and got off the car. Risa followed the same way, leaving her backpack on the seat and left the car, chasing after her mother.


The two of them walked in silence, further a little uphill where the car could not reach, until they reached their usual spot. They sat down in quietness for a long moment until Risa broke the silence.


"Mama. . . Why are you doing this?" Risa asked, almost inaudible as she licked her lips nervously.


Renni turned over and glanced at Risa with tears in her eyes. 'I'm sorry for creating so much suffering in your life, Risa. I could have stopped this from happening in the first place. If I had stood firm in my decision to stay with Ai-chan, Retora would not made you his official daughter, controlling your life in his way.'


"Mama?" Risa called out again, slightly louder than before.


Renni looked away from Risa and shifted her attention back to the starry sky. "Mama thought that my Risa-ko has already grown up and you should have the authority to chose the kind of life you want. You were no longer the little girl who always come running into my room when you had nightmares at night."


"Mama . . ." Risa was touched to tears, that nothing else could come into her mind.


'Even though you are not my real daughter. . . I still loved you like you were mine, with you, always being such a sweetie pie. It's too hard for anyone to not to love you, Risa-ko. You know . . .It hurts my heart to let you go now . . . just like how my heart was hurt when I let Ai-chan go. . . ' Tears began to flow down freely off Renni's face.


"Mama . . . " Risa scooted closer to Renni and bear hugged her mother, lugging onto her mother's right hand, and burrowed her face into Renni's should and began to sob out her tears.


"Stop crying, Baby. . ." Renni coaxed as she ran her free hand into Risa's hair, messing them up in the process. "You always loved the stars too right? Let us enjoy this together . . .Before you leave." Renni finished.


Risa pulled her face away from Renni shoulder and looked at Renni with her teary eyes. And just like a little kid, Risa nodded her head once while bitting onto her lips before lying comfortably on her mother's shoulder.


"Thank you . . . Mama. . . "


"You don't have to thank me, Risa-ko . . ." Renni argued. 'I am definitely not the one you should thank. I am partially the one who had caused all these sufferings you had. I should be sorry instead, Risa-ko. . .'  Staring fervently at the brightest star in the sky, another thought came into her mind. 'How have you been, Ai-chan? I hope that you are doing all well now . . .'


The warm shoulder of Renni was so comfortable and coaxing that Risa had fallen asleep in it. A strong breeze of wind came blowing onto their face, and that was when Renni had realised that Risa's hand was turning freezing cold.


'I almost forgot, this girl is sensitive to cold.' Renni thought lovingly.


Renni patted hands softly, waking the girl in the process. "Wait over here for me. I'll grab some blankets for you from the car." Renni whispered softly.


"Hmm Hmm." Risa whined as she shook her head. "I'm not cold, Mama. You don't have to do that." Risa continued as she rubbed her tired eyes.


"You're lying. You're hands are freezing." Renni reprimanded softly as she stood up. "I will be back in a while" With that, Renni left Risa alone at the mountain top and went back to the car.


'Mama's being so gently . . .' Risa thought as a small smile creeped upon her face. 'And to think I have been blaming her for my suffering . . .I should have known that Mama didn't want it to be in this way as well . . .You are such a baka, Risa.' Risa scolded herself mentally.


Focusing her attention back to the sky, images of Ai flashed back in her mind. 'I'm finally free. . . Will you be still there, waiting for me, allowing me to walk into your life again, Ai?'


20 minutes had passed, and Renni had yet to come back. 'This is weird . . .It doesn't take that long to walk to the car and walk back here. . .' Risa thought in her mind. Recovering from her position on the ground, Risa tracked back to the car only to find her latest nightmare.


"MAMA!"


Renni was lying on the ground 10 feet away from the car, face facing up, with blood flowing in profusion from a knife wound on the abdomen.


"MAMA!" Risa cried out again as she rushed forward to Renni, placing pressure on the wound to try to stop the bleeding. "MAMA?!"


Renni was not answering any of Risa's calls. She was already in an unconscious state.


"MAMA?!" Risa cried out, running her bloodied hand to her jeans pocket, pulling out her mobile phone. "Mama, don't sleep, please don't!" Dialling the ambulance number with her shaky hands, Risa broke down into tears. 'Don't leave me in this way, Mama . . .'

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BAH! I finished another chapter, this time round slightly longer This was so much easier to write as compared to the 1500 words essay i'm supposed to finish. Haix. But anyway, this chapter would be enough 'actions' for all who had been waiting . . . And i could say, more actions are coming up in the next few chapters . . So behold!! De wa~

[alwaysYou]

ahhhhhhhhhhhh...
and now gakisan wont be leaving the house again!!!
and whose the one who stab the mum..&#*%..

maybe gakisan will know she not the real daughter here? blood type..

Ai definitely still like Gakisan, yet another news smash everything again..

definitely hating the dad..oh man, someone should teach him a lesson..lol..

nice chp as usual 

[kano-chan]

Oh my god! I knew some arranged marriage would ensue!

Ai-chan, Ai-chan, Ai-chan.... What are we going to do with you?

Papa Gaki should get kidnapped and tortured.

Escape!! Okay...so here's the part.. When Mama Gaki took Risa out, I thought she would help Risa get away and tell her the whole truth about her adoption, but just when I thought about everything you're planning and expecting what's gonna happen, you took a totally different turn. Wouldn't it be hard to uncover the truth and misunderstandings if Mama Gaki dies now??

Wait a minute.... I thought Mama Gaki killed herself, but did someone else..?

Great Chap!

[astro18]

  I was not expecting that ending ..

If only Aichan would give Risa a chance to explain

Her told man needs to go away and stop blaming everything on his kids

[rndmnwierd]

Wha-What?! What happened!! Ai's freaking out and Risa was so close to getting away, now what?! Damn, I wasn't expecting that.

[SarangAi]

omg... omg... so sad... 

Mama Gaki don't die!!!!!!  who da hell did that?  stabbing her, stopping risa from escaping... 

i'm so on the edge of my seat.... GYAH i need to study but i can't stop thinking about this.. 

[oddball]

AHHH!!! Poor Mama Gaki. just as she had given Gaki her 'freedom' she gets stabbed, surley it wasn't any of Retora's men???

Ai is still very much unstabe then.... I wonder how she will react when she meets Gaki again....