JPHiP Radio (34/200 @ 128 kbs)     Now playing: Crayon Pop - Bing Bing

Author Topic: 愛してるのに、愛せない (NatsuMado OS)  (Read 6032 times)

Offline ryo_heartkreuz

  • HKT is ♥
  • Member
  • Posts: 45
  • ぴっぴ隊
愛してるのに、愛せない (NatsuMado OS)
« on: December 31, 2014, 12:33:13 AM »
this is my first time writing a smut,  :cry: sorry if it sucks..
and i only write collab fics so sorry if this  is so short xD

actually, this os is a new year's gift for my friend and co-writer - yurin23mayuki

 :cathappy:

just a preview the full ver. is on yurin's tumblr
http://yurin23.tumblr.com/post/106618110743/electrochemistry-natsumado-os


preview:


“Natsumi, please stop” she said as I pinned her down on the bed trailing kisses on her body.

`Don’t she want this? `

I’ve been holding myself for a very long time, and right now I can’t control myself.

What is this feeling? Every time I kiss her it seems an electric current flows on my body…

I want more of her…..

I want her badly…

No…

I need her…..

———————————

Matsuoka Natsumi, an honor student, role model of the school. A good girl, raised in a respectable family of prosecutors. She have talents and is admired by everyone.

She seems a perfect person with the people surrounding her…

But not until she fell in love…

————————————————————-

“Madoka, please? Don’t you want this?” she pouted pleading, I’m getting weak seeing her like that… my heart can’t contain it…

`The truth is I want this`

I’m getting addicted I can’t control myself.

What is this feeling? Her kisses, it’s like an electric current…

I want more of her…..

I want her badly…

No…

I need her…..

———————————

Moriyasu Madoka, a rich play girl, the school’s queen. A spoiled child, raised in a family of businessmen where money is all that matters.

Many guys want her, she had many boyfriends but none of them have any value to her. She treated them as a plaything, she never valued anyone…

But not until she fell in love…

————————————————————-
« Last Edit: August 13, 2016, 12:33:27 PM by ryo_heartkreuz »

Listen to HKT's 10th single



♡ AmaAki is the 4th gen's Natsumado! ♡ though i secretly ship Amane with Nappi

✩ HKT48 - 4th Gen ✩ Unjo Hirona (Nappi) → ponkotsu but diligent, crybaby, funny (always does wierd faces backstage esp. with her fellow gen), can play piano, can cook, good at ski (she's from hokkaido), likes sweet things, is (little) weird, is a little tsundere, is a bit S, has a crush on Team T2's vice capt. Hokazono Hazuki, Team T2 capt. Yamashita Emiri's fave among the 4th gen, has a weird and 'flirty' relationship with 4th gen Tsukiashi Amane as told by (Team T2) Yamauchi Yuna, 4th gen's Sarcastic Center Jitoue Nene has a crush on her, Everyone's girlfriend, allegedly gets wild at night, is cute, is Super CuTE! ♡♡

HKT hako oshi Team H Akiyoshi Yuka (ゆかちゃん Yukachan) Ui Mashiro (ましろ Mashiro) Ueno Haruka (はるたん Harutan) Kojina Yui (じーな Jiina) Kodama Haruka (はるっぴ Haruppi) Komada Hiroka (ぴーちゃん Piichan) Sakaguchi Riko (りこぴ Rikopi) Sashihara Rino (さっしー Sasshi) Tashima Meru (める Meru) Tanaka Natsumi (なつみかん Natsumikan) Tanaka Miku (みくりん Mikurin) Matsuoka Natsumi (なつ Natsu) Yabuki Nako (なこ Nako) Yamada Marina (まりり Mariri) Yamamoto Mao (まお Mao) Team K4 Imada Mina (みな Mina) Iwahana Shino (しの Shino) Ueki Nao (なお Nao) Kumazawa Serina (せりーぬ Seriinu) Shimono Yuki (しなもん Shinamon) Tanaka Yuka (ゆうたん Yuutan) Tomiyoshi Asuka (あすか Asuka) Tomonaga Mio (みお Mio) Fukagawa Maiko (まいこむ、まいこ Maikomu) Fuchigami Mai (まいちゃん Maichan) Miyawaki Sakura (さくら Sakura) Murashige Anna (あーにゃ Aanya) Motomura Aoi (あおい Aoi) Moriyasu Madoka (まどか Madoka) Team T2 Aramaki Misaki (みるん Mirun) Imamura Maria (まーさん Maasan) Kurihara Sae (さえちゃん Saechan) Sakamoto Erena (えれたん Eretan) Hokazono Hazuki (はづき Hazuki) Matsuoka Hana (はなちゃん Hanachan) Murakawa Vivian (びびあん Bibian / Vivian) Yamauchi Yuna (ゆうな Yuuna) Yamashita Emiri (エミリー Emiri) KKS Unjo Hirona - 4th Generation (なっぴ Nappi) Jitoe Nene - 4th Generation (ねねちゃん Nenechan) Oda Ayaka - 4th Generation (おだちゃん Odachan) Sakai Moeka - 4th Generation (おいもちゃん Oimochan) Shimizu Rio - 4th Generation (りおちゃん Riochan) Takeda Tomoka - 4th Generation (もかちゃん Mokachan) Tsukiashi Amane - 4th Generation (あまちゃん Amachan) Toyonaga Aki - 4th Generation (あき Aki) Matsumoto Hinata - 4th Generation (ひなたん Hinatan) Miyazaki Sono - 4th Generation (そのちん Sonochin)
 

Electrochemistry [NatsuMado] (oneshot)
`Is it really one sided love?` [MerUme/UMeru] (oneshot)
[MerUme/UMeru] Love is when you realize it (oneshot)
Fall for me, will you? 「ChiNatsu/ChiHaru」 (genderbend)
--collab fics with yurin23mayuki:
Daily Life of MaYuki Family [ (HKT) Natsu x Madoka x Chihiro x Aoi x Jiina]
You and Me... and the Red thread ~ [Mayuki, Kojiyuu, Saeyaka, Wmatsui, Atsumina]

Offline kuro808

  • Konkon + HKT + JPH!P= <3 and Happiness
  • Global Moderator
  • Member+
  • *
  • Posts: 23726
  • Natsu Oshi DESU!
    • Kurosawa87
Re: ELECTROChEMIsTRY [NatsuMado OS] r18+ (on tumblr)
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2014, 01:17:30 AM »
It's a nice one.  Just a bit of polish and someone to guide, it'll be better for the next one you do write :)
Random Thought:

tumblr

R.I.P. Jab!  Dad/friend

Offline fridaa_ai

  • Calm Outside, Beast-Fangirl Inside
  • ecchi
  • Member
  • Posts: 30
  • Shiper for most pairing existed in 4846Fandom
    • mochazukkii
    • fridannisaa
    • +aifridannisa
Re: ELECTROChEMIsTRY [NatsuMado OS] r18+ (on tumblr)
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2015, 02:27:50 AM »
It's nice how you describe the character  :thumbsup I'm a little bit like natsu, looking nice from the outside, but the inside is ... xD but not as wild as natsu in this fanfic tho  :cathappy: lol. Anyway, good job  :twothumbs

Offline ryo_heartkreuz

  • HKT is ♥
  • Member
  • Posts: 45
  • ぴっぴ隊
Re: ELECTROChEMIsTRY (HKT) [NatsuMado OS] / [UMeru Drabble]
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2015, 08:16:22 PM »
It's a nice one.  Just a bit of polish and someone to guide, it'll be better for the next one you do write :)
i hope so  :cathappy: though i'm a bit lazy to be a writer  :lol:

It's nice how you describe the character  :thumbsup I'm a little bit like natsu, looking nice from the outside, but the inside is ... xD but not as wild as natsu in this fanfic tho  :cathappy: lol. Anyway, good job  :twothumbs
actually that's how i see natsu  :lol:


well something i wrote since i was bored, don't know if someone here is interested in hkt fics or this ship  but oh well :lol:

* * * * *

UMeru/MerUme (drabbles)

#1

(In the dressing room before the stage show)

Meru: (messing with ume’s hair)
Ume: ah! stop it!
Meru: ne, do this kind of hairstyle~ ne~
Ume: i don’t want
Meru: eehhh.. but it looks cute on you >.<

Ume: no! i don’t want (ignores meru)
Meru: (sulk)

(an hour later in the stage mc)

Jiina: it’s been a while since the members are back from hakataza right? you know earlier, ume was giving off an ikemen aura more than the usual (laughs)
Rikopi: ah- you mean earlier at the dressing room, meru was like `ume, ume~` and ume was like `what-?` (impersonates ume being cool )
Ume: no, no, no- that’s not true (embarrassed)
Naopon: they miss each other that they’re flirting again huh xD
Ume: we’re not flirting!!!
Naopon: haha.. but your hairstyle was requested by meru right?

other members: oooh~~ (teasing ume)

Ume: no! that’s.. (blush)

Rikopi: ah it’s meru.. (points at behind the curtain)
Ume: (shoos meru away) (embarrassed)

- - - - -

#2

(On stage MC introduction, Theme: what you’ll do on your next day off)

Meru: you know ume loves taking pictures right? on my next day off i’ll go with her *happy*

other members: oooh~~
sasshi: you really act as her girlfriend

Meru: ehh, but it was ume who said she’ll bring me next time
Sasshi: eh? she invited you?

members: (all eyes to ume)

Ume: u-uhhm.. that’s.. (embarrassed)

(ume’s turn on mc)

Ume: uhm.. about that.. on my next day off, it’s true that i’ll go take pictures well.. i- i have no choice so i thought i’d go with meru (embarrassed)

(on the next dayoff)

Meru: (happily walking)
Ume: (taking pictures)

Meru: look- look- the flower there is blooming uwahh!! it’s so pretty!!
Ume: ah, you’re right (takes picture)

Ume: meru (takes picture)
Meru: aahhh!! why did you suddenly take a picture >_<

Une: (laughs)
Meru: >_<

Ume: ja, one more time
Meru: (poses)
Ume: say cheese (takes picture)

Meru: how was it?? let me see (hyper)
Ume: un, it’s cute

Meru: ah.. t-thanks (blush)
Ume: ?! ah- i mean, uhm- … (realized what she said)

Ume: l-look they’re selling ice shave, do you want some (changing the topic)
Meru: un.. (shy)

- - - - -

#3

meru: i wanted to do return match with ume
mashiro: oh, what role?
meru: i want the female role!
mashiro: but ume is so small you know
meru: ahh.. >.>

mashiro: then how about oshimeshi with ume?
meru: eh? that.. (blush)

mashiro: i wonder who would be onee-sama though, with ume being so small
meru: (is confused if she wanted to do it or not) (panicking)

meru (in her mind):  what should i do, my heart won’t stop beating fast (>///<)

mashiro: but certainly, ume might not agree to do it

meru: ehh.. </3

- - - - -

#4

(During the stage, MC theme: What’s up lately)

Mao: hai hai!(raises her hand)
Waka-chan: ja, mao

Mao: recently umemoto-san said she likes me
Meru: (looks at mao)
members: ooh~?
Mao: and then she invited me to go to the pool too

Meru: eh? it’s a lie, it’s a lie

Natsu: stop saying that in a serious tone xD
Waka-chan: she’s not your boyfriend you know

(later after the stage)

Meru: (in low spirits)

Ume: hey meru, when will you return the book you borrowed
Meru: i don’t know (sulks)
Ume: have you finished read it?
Meru: hmm..

Ume: hm? is there any problem? why are you acting like that?
Meru: nothing much

Ume: (sigh) (already leaving)
Meru: (in her mind) why aren’t you consoling me ٩(๑´0`๑)۶

Meru: ne! ume, Let’s hang out this weekend!
Ume: eh? but you’re going to tokyo nxt weekend right?
Meru: ah- then next weekend?
Ume: you have practice for hakataza right?
Meru: ja-! next-
Ume: our day offs doesn’t match you know

Meru: But-
Meru:(sulks) i hate you

Ume: (sigh) goodluck on hakataza, okay?
Meru: un.. (dispirited)

Ume: i’ll go watch when i have time
Meru: really?!
Ume: w-when i have time i told you

Meru: yay! i have to do my best! (suddenly in hype)
Ume: un, do your best (smile)

Meru: But still, let’s hangout on your day off ok?!
Ume: eh?

Meru: (in her mind) and stop saying you like others!! ٩(๑`^´๑)۶

* * * * *

Listen to HKT's 10th single



♡ AmaAki is the 4th gen's Natsumado! ♡ though i secretly ship Amane with Nappi

✩ HKT48 - 4th Gen ✩ Unjo Hirona (Nappi) → ponkotsu but diligent, crybaby, funny (always does wierd faces backstage esp. with her fellow gen), can play piano, can cook, good at ski (she's from hokkaido), likes sweet things, is (little) weird, is a little tsundere, is a bit S, has a crush on Team T2's vice capt. Hokazono Hazuki, Team T2 capt. Yamashita Emiri's fave among the 4th gen, has a weird and 'flirty' relationship with 4th gen Tsukiashi Amane as told by (Team T2) Yamauchi Yuna, 4th gen's Sarcastic Center Jitoue Nene has a crush on her, Everyone's girlfriend, allegedly gets wild at night, is cute, is Super CuTE! ♡♡

HKT hako oshi Team H Akiyoshi Yuka (ゆかちゃん Yukachan) Ui Mashiro (ましろ Mashiro) Ueno Haruka (はるたん Harutan) Kojina Yui (じーな Jiina) Kodama Haruka (はるっぴ Haruppi) Komada Hiroka (ぴーちゃん Piichan) Sakaguchi Riko (りこぴ Rikopi) Sashihara Rino (さっしー Sasshi) Tashima Meru (める Meru) Tanaka Natsumi (なつみかん Natsumikan) Tanaka Miku (みくりん Mikurin) Matsuoka Natsumi (なつ Natsu) Yabuki Nako (なこ Nako) Yamada Marina (まりり Mariri) Yamamoto Mao (まお Mao) Team K4 Imada Mina (みな Mina) Iwahana Shino (しの Shino) Ueki Nao (なお Nao) Kumazawa Serina (せりーぬ Seriinu) Shimono Yuki (しなもん Shinamon) Tanaka Yuka (ゆうたん Yuutan) Tomiyoshi Asuka (あすか Asuka) Tomonaga Mio (みお Mio) Fukagawa Maiko (まいこむ、まいこ Maikomu) Fuchigami Mai (まいちゃん Maichan) Miyawaki Sakura (さくら Sakura) Murashige Anna (あーにゃ Aanya) Motomura Aoi (あおい Aoi) Moriyasu Madoka (まどか Madoka) Team T2 Aramaki Misaki (みるん Mirun) Imamura Maria (まーさん Maasan) Kurihara Sae (さえちゃん Saechan) Sakamoto Erena (えれたん Eretan) Hokazono Hazuki (はづき Hazuki) Matsuoka Hana (はなちゃん Hanachan) Murakawa Vivian (びびあん Bibian / Vivian) Yamauchi Yuna (ゆうな Yuuna) Yamashita Emiri (エミリー Emiri) KKS Unjo Hirona - 4th Generation (なっぴ Nappi) Jitoe Nene - 4th Generation (ねねちゃん Nenechan) Oda Ayaka - 4th Generation (おだちゃん Odachan) Sakai Moeka - 4th Generation (おいもちゃん Oimochan) Shimizu Rio - 4th Generation (りおちゃん Riochan) Takeda Tomoka - 4th Generation (もかちゃん Mokachan) Tsukiashi Amane - 4th Generation (あまちゃん Amachan) Toyonaga Aki - 4th Generation (あき Aki) Matsumoto Hinata - 4th Generation (ひなたん Hinatan) Miyazaki Sono - 4th Generation (そのちん Sonochin)
 

Electrochemistry [NatsuMado] (oneshot)
`Is it really one sided love?` [MerUme/UMeru] (oneshot)
[MerUme/UMeru] Love is when you realize it (oneshot)
Fall for me, will you? 「ChiNatsu/ChiHaru」 (genderbend)
--collab fics with yurin23mayuki:
Daily Life of MaYuki Family [ (HKT) Natsu x Madoka x Chihiro x Aoi x Jiina]
You and Me... and the Red thread ~ [Mayuki, Kojiyuu, Saeyaka, Wmatsui, Atsumina]

Offline ryo_heartkreuz

  • HKT is ♥
  • Member
  • Posts: 45
  • ぴっぴ隊
Re: (HKT) ELECTROChEMIsTRY[NatsuMado] / Is it really One-sided Love[UMeru]
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2015, 08:23:51 PM »
like i said, don't know if someone here is interested in hkt fics or this ship but..  :cathappy:

* * * * *

`Is it really one sided love?` (MerUme/UMeru )

`Is it really one-sided love?` meru pondered as she glimpse on her who was sitting on the bench and staring at the beach. She wanted to approach her and sit beside her but her usual genkiness and ‘doing what she wants’ attitude seems to be overtaken by shyness when it comes to her.





`Meru?` she called as she noticed meru was on her side.
`uhm, can i sit beside you?` meru asked trying to battle out her shyness and her desire for her.
`go ahead` she said as she gave space for her to sit.
`Today was fun isn’t it? the weather is so nice too, though it’s a little cold` meru giggled. Indeed she have fun today since it’s been long she went out with her although today they went out with mashiro and naopon.
`is it still cold?` she asked as meru blushed on her mind.
`it’s ok hehe~` Meru knew that she is a kind and caring person but still, the way she worried about her makes her fall for her even more.
`good` she smiled. `yeah, it was fun`
`we should do things like this again! can we? can we?` meru energetically asked her hoping for something
`un, we should with everyone`
`with everyone? un, okay` hearing her answer made Meru a bit disappointed. Meru was hoping that she could hang out with her again because they rarely get to spend time together lately. just the two of them.
 
There was a moment of silence while the wind blew across them. Meru glanced at her who seems to be busy thinking about certain things.
Meru doesn’t exactly knew what made her fall for her. She is cool, kind, gentle and caring, yet so cute when she’s embarrassed. It was a crush at first like the liking with other members but she didn’t thought it would turn into a serious thing more over it wasn’t a secret as she always confesses her love for her. But with all those confessions and claiming of her, there wasn’t really an answer.
 
`I wanted to spend time with you alone` Meru murmured with a disappointed face.
`hm? what is it? did you say something?` she asked with a worried face seeing meru looks down.
` nothing..` she insisted. she wanted to demand her but she choose to keep it to herself.
`are you sure? you know if there is something troubling you, i could listen though i may not be able to help you but if i can i’ll help` she said giving a gentle smile.
`then, let’s hang out together! only the two of us` meru suddenly asked. Seeing her gentle smile made her desire for her even strong.`can’t we?` meru pleaded giving a puppy look on her face
`eh?` she replied surprised by meru’s sudden demand but seeing meru having that disappointed looks seems to trouble her `well, if we have time. where do you want to go anyway?`
`really?! yatta!` meru jumped up on her seat having her agree to her demand. `ja, let’s go to the zoo, aquarium would be good too, or the pool? hehe~`
`geez, you invited me yet you don’t still know where` she sighed giving off a helpless smile at meru.
`i just wanted to go together with you, anywhere is fine~!` meru exclaimed at her like those countless confessions she said to her.
`hai, hai, let’s go take a walk it’s getting chilly here` she stands up walking away before turning to meru `come on`
`un~` meru followed behind her who was walking a bit ahead of her.



She was staring at her back wondering about how she warms up to her, often doing what she demanded but easily brush off her confessions to her.
 
`Is it really one-sided love?` she asked herself again. she wanted to ask her but she prefer not to.
 
`Ume~!` Meru sped up jumping up to her.
`hey` she scolded her but meru only playfully pull her and she being pulled by meru like the usual.
 


`ume~ let’s go play~ please~!` meru childishly demanded, and seeing her gave in to her demands made her flash a smile hoping that it wasn’t a one-sided love after all.

* * * * *

This was actually inspired by this post xD
« Last Edit: September 21, 2015, 05:27:17 AM by ryo_heartkreuz »

Listen to HKT's 10th single



♡ AmaAki is the 4th gen's Natsumado! ♡ though i secretly ship Amane with Nappi

✩ HKT48 - 4th Gen ✩ Unjo Hirona (Nappi) → ponkotsu but diligent, crybaby, funny (always does wierd faces backstage esp. with her fellow gen), can play piano, can cook, good at ski (she's from hokkaido), likes sweet things, is (little) weird, is a little tsundere, is a bit S, has a crush on Team T2's vice capt. Hokazono Hazuki, Team T2 capt. Yamashita Emiri's fave among the 4th gen, has a weird and 'flirty' relationship with 4th gen Tsukiashi Amane as told by (Team T2) Yamauchi Yuna, 4th gen's Sarcastic Center Jitoue Nene has a crush on her, Everyone's girlfriend, allegedly gets wild at night, is cute, is Super CuTE! ♡♡

HKT hako oshi Team H Akiyoshi Yuka (ゆかちゃん Yukachan) Ui Mashiro (ましろ Mashiro) Ueno Haruka (はるたん Harutan) Kojina Yui (じーな Jiina) Kodama Haruka (はるっぴ Haruppi) Komada Hiroka (ぴーちゃん Piichan) Sakaguchi Riko (りこぴ Rikopi) Sashihara Rino (さっしー Sasshi) Tashima Meru (める Meru) Tanaka Natsumi (なつみかん Natsumikan) Tanaka Miku (みくりん Mikurin) Matsuoka Natsumi (なつ Natsu) Yabuki Nako (なこ Nako) Yamada Marina (まりり Mariri) Yamamoto Mao (まお Mao) Team K4 Imada Mina (みな Mina) Iwahana Shino (しの Shino) Ueki Nao (なお Nao) Kumazawa Serina (せりーぬ Seriinu) Shimono Yuki (しなもん Shinamon) Tanaka Yuka (ゆうたん Yuutan) Tomiyoshi Asuka (あすか Asuka) Tomonaga Mio (みお Mio) Fukagawa Maiko (まいこむ、まいこ Maikomu) Fuchigami Mai (まいちゃん Maichan) Miyawaki Sakura (さくら Sakura) Murashige Anna (あーにゃ Aanya) Motomura Aoi (あおい Aoi) Moriyasu Madoka (まどか Madoka) Team T2 Aramaki Misaki (みるん Mirun) Imamura Maria (まーさん Maasan) Kurihara Sae (さえちゃん Saechan) Sakamoto Erena (えれたん Eretan) Hokazono Hazuki (はづき Hazuki) Matsuoka Hana (はなちゃん Hanachan) Murakawa Vivian (びびあん Bibian / Vivian) Yamauchi Yuna (ゆうな Yuuna) Yamashita Emiri (エミリー Emiri) KKS Unjo Hirona - 4th Generation (なっぴ Nappi) Jitoe Nene - 4th Generation (ねねちゃん Nenechan) Oda Ayaka - 4th Generation (おだちゃん Odachan) Sakai Moeka - 4th Generation (おいもちゃん Oimochan) Shimizu Rio - 4th Generation (りおちゃん Riochan) Takeda Tomoka - 4th Generation (もかちゃん Mokachan) Tsukiashi Amane - 4th Generation (あまちゃん Amachan) Toyonaga Aki - 4th Generation (あき Aki) Matsumoto Hinata - 4th Generation (ひなたん Hinatan) Miyazaki Sono - 4th Generation (そのちん Sonochin)
 

Electrochemistry [NatsuMado] (oneshot)
`Is it really one sided love?` [MerUme/UMeru] (oneshot)
[MerUme/UMeru] Love is when you realize it (oneshot)
Fall for me, will you? 「ChiNatsu/ChiHaru」 (genderbend)
--collab fics with yurin23mayuki:
Daily Life of MaYuki Family [ (HKT) Natsu x Madoka x Chihiro x Aoi x Jiina]
You and Me... and the Red thread ~ [Mayuki, Kojiyuu, Saeyaka, Wmatsui, Atsumina]

Offline kuro808

  • Konkon + HKT + JPH!P= <3 and Happiness
  • Global Moderator
  • Member+
  • *
  • Posts: 23726
  • Natsu Oshi DESU!
    • Kurosawa87
Re: (HKT) ELECTROChEMIsTRY[NatsuMado] / Is it really One-sided Love[UMeru]
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2015, 08:11:10 AM »
That's way too cute for them again but it happens and especially Ume being less resistant to that fact :nervous
Random Thought:

tumblr

R.I.P. Jab!  Dad/friend

Offline ryo_heartkreuz

  • HKT is ♥
  • Member
  • Posts: 45
  • ぴっぴ隊
Re: (HKT OS) [MerUme/UMeru] Love is when you realize it
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2015, 03:55:25 PM »
nothing just dropping by  :nervous

[MerUme/UMeru] Love is when you realize it

“hey meru! wait!” the voice echoed throughout the hallways while a short girl runs after a certain person.
It was already afternoon and the school was almost empty except for the students who belong to clubs that stays late.

Umemoto Izumi was not sure why that girl was running away from her or why she was even chasing for her.
“Meru!” she called as she sped up, the girl she was chasing after runs faster but with ume’s  physical ability she was able to caught up with the girl.

“hey- why are you running away from me?” ume stopped the girl from running, gripping her wrist so that she can’t run away.
“then why are you chasing me?” the girl talked back trying to get out of ume’s grip.
“hah? You suddenly ran away when i called you and you’re asking me why i am chasing you?” ume answered her, annoyed by the girl’s action.

There was a minute of silence before meru spoke in a low tone as if trying not to cry.
“ume just leave me alone..”

“Fine! i don’t care anymore!” ume walked out.

The girl fell into her knees covering her face with her hands.
Tashima Meru can’t hold her tears anymore. She always thought it was unrequited, she knew she shouldn’t have hoped for something even though ume had given her reasons.
“What i was even hoping for?” she tried to smile at herself.
“of course there’s no way it would happen” She reached the handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her face from tears.

“Mou! There’s nothing i can do about it, right?” Meru stood up and walks away going to the classroom to fetch her bag.
she was trying to regain her normal self but sudden tears keeps on coming out as the memories with the one she love keeps on playing in her mind.

Walking through the hallways, she unconsciously remembers why she fell for her.
It wasn’t love at first sight, actually she liked many people but she never felt the seriousness in liking them until she fall for ume.

She was in her 1st year middle school that time, She was a friend of a friend, they were not really close at first , but fate had given them a chance to know each other and little by little they grew closer. She was younger than her but they have similar things that they like and really get along with each other. Their relationship was just like that until she eventually fell for her.
Meru would always jokingly say that she likes her but it was just last year when she was in the last year of Middle school that she decided to confess seriously.

She knew the consequences. she knew that if she confess she might lose their current relation, she will lose their  friendship. For meru it was a gamble, but she still decided to confess to her.
It was a sudden confession, she was serious but ume didn’t take it seriously and never gave a proper answer.
Meru thought it was the end, but ume still treats her the same sometimes even more than that as ume had been even warmer to her. That time meru didn’t knew if she would be happy or not, she wants ume’s answer. Because of that meru followed her and enrolled in ume’s junior high school, and would often declare her love for her. With all of those confessions, nothing was answered.

“Ume..” meru unconsciously called out as ume’s voice echoed in her mind.

“‘meru’”
“'hey meru’”
“'meru are you okay?’”

“'I don’t hate you’”

Meru suddenly stammered as she hold onto the door of the classroom trying not to fall.

“mou.. i should really stop this now. I guess it was just my imagination.. There’s no chance for her to love me after all”
meru reached out for her bag and pulled out an envelope and stared at the letter inside it.

“i guess this is really a goodbye now” she breathed out before heading to the faculty room.

- - - - -

“Fine! i don’t care anymore!”

Her angry voice echoed in her mind, Umemoto Izumi was going back to her club but what happened earlier keeps on bothering her.
she was feeling guilty of shouting at meru but she was also feel annoyed and angry.

“Mossan-!” a cheerful voice called her, it was her best friend naopon who was in the same class as her.
“what do you want okamoto-san?” ume snarled at her not wanting naopon to tease her as she was feeling irritated.
naopon tilted her head wondering what could be ume’s problem, though she knew that person might be the reason
“what are you getting angry for? did you have fight with meru?” naopon asked her
“i am not angry, and why would i even have a fight with her?!” ume defended herself when another voice interrupted her
“really? then why did i saw meru crying earlier?” mashiro, ume’s neighbor and childhood friend questioned her.
“She was really crying hard you know. We knew you would only be the reason” mashiro added as she glared at her friend but Ume just looked away.
“Hey answer me you know!” mashiro angrily said as ume keeps on ignoring what she says
“mashiro..” naopon tried to calm mashiro, she knew why is mashiro getting angry. She knew Ume and Mashiro for a long time and that mashiro likes ume though ume is oblivious to mashiro’s feeling. Moreover, mashiro was the reason why meru got to know ume as Meru was mashiro’s classmate in middle school. She was a close friend.

“I don’t really know!”  Ume angrily replied and tried to walk out but mashiro stopped her.
“You don’t know? Didn’t Meru confessed to you again?” Mashiro glared at her.
Hearing what her friend says Ume was startled for a second remembering what happened earlier before she was chasing meru. Her clubmates were teasing her about the girl, and asked ume if she likes her.

“Stop it, i don’t like her.”

That was she said to her clubmates as she was annoyed at their teasing.
It was just a little while when another clubmate called her as someone was calling for her outside the clubroom. That was when she saw meru, but meru was now running away.

“Did..did she heard that?” ume asked herself, shocked.

“Hey! Why are you not answering, I am asking you a question” Mashiro asked, still glaring at her. “Did you remember now?”
“S-she didn’t confessed..” Ume moved back, she was now feeling regretful of what she did.

“Did something else happened?” mashiro asked again. but ume didn’t answer her again.
“Ume, didn’t you knew? She received a letter from the school she was originally aiming for. It was a scholarship and that she will be moving to Tokyo once she accepted it”
Upon hearing it, Ume was bewildered and can’t even utter a word.
“Last year, She was already accepted in that school but she chased you and enrolled here instead. You know that don’t you?” mashiro stared at ume who seems to be frozen of what she have said “I heard her yesterday, The letter was due today and she can’t decide. I asked her and she said that she was going to confess before she decide on what she’ll do”

“Ume i don’t know what happened between the two of you but are you okay with that?” Mashiro added.

Ume was looking down avoiding the gaze of her friends“Isn’t it good? I mean it’s for her future. There’s no way I could stop her”

“Don’t you like her too?!” Mashiro grabbed ume’s collar, but ume didn’t show any resistant.
“Answer it ume” mashiro annoyingly asked ume tightening her grip but was stopped by naopon
“Ume, You’re really okay with that?” naopon looked at her in eyes seriously

“un..” ume looked away “I’m going now, our club members must be looking for me now”

- - - - -

Walking back to her club, Ume stopped for a while looking far away.
The school was so quiet and all she can hear are her thoughts. Her feelings are messed up, and she doesn’t like that. She walked again while sighing heavily to lighten her feelings. She was now almost near on the gym where they are having a basketball practice when she heard her phone beep.

She reached out the phone on her pocket to see who messaged her, but as she thought it was her friend naopon. Ume stopped for a second thinking if she would read naopon’s message or not because she knew that naopon would just bother her about meru. She don’t want confused feelings any more.  She wanted to avoid that, actually she wanted to just run away.

Ume shut her phone off not wanting to see any messages that would bother her feelings more but before ume could walk away, an unexpected incident happened.
A ball from the tennis club practicing near the gym flew in her direction.
Ume was able to avoid it swiftly but lost grip of her phone and dropped it on the bush behind her.

“ah-! Umemoto-senpai! We’re so sorry!” The girls that were practicing ran to her and apologized but Ume only smiled at them coolly like what she always do.
“It’s alright,  here” Ume gave the ball back to them as the girls thanked her before going back to their practice
“Good luck on the competition next week okay? I’m  going to cheer for you”  Ume added,waving at them and giving them a gentle smile, making her juniors blush.

“Stop flirting with others, baka..”

Ume suddenly let out a laugh reminded of how meru would get jealous whenever she’s being like that to other people. It’s natural for her to be kind and caring for other people, but meru would easily get jealous of that.
At first, ume always feel awkward whenever meru shows her jealousy of others but she got used of it already. Moreover, lately she even find amusing to tease meru making  her jealous though she always make sure not to go overboard.

“Meru..” Ume sighed  remembering her problems. She shook her head to forget all of her thoughts and just went back in finding her phone.
A little while, she already saw her phone. Ume picked it up and was about to put it on her pocket when she noticed that the keychain on her phone was a bit loose.

Ume stared at the keychain remembering the time she bought it. It was a blue dolphin keychain she bought with meru when they went to an aquarium park.
Actually it was a pair keychain and she gave the other pair to meru which made meru really happy.

“Ume! i like you! I really really like you!!”

Ume heard meru’s voice in her mind and unconsciously smiled. It was what meru said after they went to the aquarium.

“I shouldn’t have made her cry.. I mean she’s going far away now-” ume stopped on what she’s saying not wanting to think about it anymore but no matter how she tried not to think about it, she was really bothered.  “She should’ve told me earlier she’s moving away.. no, i should’ve ask her”

“But i guess it’s too late now.” Ume looked down. She was disappointed on what’s happening but won’t admit it thinking that she may have just been feeling guilty at making the girl cry.

Ume  sighed and turned her phone on. She then read her friend’s message. 
She was just staring at it for a few minutes before uttering something.

“What I feel huh, i don’t even know it. Why am i even bothered? I don’t know. I don’t really know.” 

“It’s just that i made her cry and i’m feeling troubled by that.. right?” ume thought trying to convince herself. “Can’t i just leave it like this? She’s going away now you know, and it’s for her future. I should be happy for her.”  She sighed again but her feelings are more honest than her mind

“Well.. of course I would be sad, because she’s an important friend-”  Ume paused for a while

“right, friends- we’re just friends.. we’re just close friend I think”

Ume tried to gave herself a small smile but she felt a sudden pain on her chest. She wanted to just forget it all but her feelings are interrupting her to do so, reminding her how meru  brought `chaos` to her world.

“ah~ there’s no one who would bother me every morning now” she added trying not to let any tears drop.

“I wonder if she will forget me after she moved out? I can’t blame her. I don’t suit her. I also made her cry.”  she said in a low voice feeling a drop of liquid fell on her cheeks.

Ume lift her face up and closed her eyes. In her mind, She was seeing Meru smiling at her while calling her.

“Have I really fallen for her?” she asked herself

“But I shouldn’t stop her. I don’t want to be the reason to stop her from her dreams.”

Finally, Ume stepped away but after a few steps she suddenly  stopped.
She turned her back and started running.

`Why don’t you just be honest with what you feel? If you continue being stubborn, you might regret it throughout your life.`

“Will I - will I really regret it?” Ume runs faster remembering her what  her friend, naopon, messaged her.

“I just wanted to talk to her that’s all..” She reached the school hallways looking around. She stopped  for a while and messaged meru asking where she is. ume ran again going to the library where meru mostly hangs out while waiting for her after class.

Couldn’t find her in the library, Ume continued running and looking around the first year’s classrooms before she saw some meru’s classmates.
Ume asked them if they saw meru but  unfortunately, they also don’t know where she is.

“Meru! Where are you?”  Ume cried to herself as she ran searching  for her in every floor in every corner of the school building. She  also checked her phone to see if meru mailed her back but she got no reply. 

She was already tired and was about to search outside the school when she heard her friend shouting at her.

“Ume you’re so slow!! We haven’t seen her left the school gates yet. Have you tried looking at the faculty room? She might have  been processing her transfer documents” Mashiro shouted at her as soon as she saw ume running. 
“n-not yet, i’ll go look- thanks!”  ume thanked her friend before running again.  She felt  shame for her actions earlier, ignoring what her friends was saying but was thankful because despite of stubbornness,  they  still continue to be there for her.

Ume ran as fast as she could reaching the faculty room.  She stopped at the door for a moment second guessing if she’ll go in or just wait as she don’t have any business with the teachers but her eagerness to see meru made her pull her courage out asking one of the teachers.
“Tashima-san? She already left earlier. About 20 minutes ago I think. Why are you asking?” the  teacher replied.
“Uhm- sensei about her transfer..”  ume tried to ask again hoping that the teacher would give her information as she had been her student.
“Are you Tashima-san’s friend?” the teacher smiled “About that, This was actually her last day here since her documents have already been processed. The letter was long due but she asked if she can submit until this Friday. She might not wanted to leave her friends behind but I think we should be happy for her having accepted in an elite academy.”

Hearing what the teacher told her,  Ume felt her time stopped.
All she can feel was regret, that she should have asked her, that she shouldn’t have shouted at her. That she shouldn’t made her cry. And that she shouldn’t have said she doesn’t like her.

Ume excused herself and went out the faculty room.  Trying to hold her emotions, she slowly walks away.
She  can’t explain what she was feeling, she was angry, she was disappointed in herself. Until now, she didn’t knew how important Meru is to her life.

“enough already, It’s too late now.”  she murmured holding her tears. Her mind was blank and her heart was shattered. She doesn’t want to go back to her club room nor go back home. Ume went upstairs going to her classroom, knowing it would be empty as it was already late and the third years are busy for university exams.  She just wanted to be alone an let out the pain of losing an important person without realizing.

Ume opened the classroom’s door but was bewildered when she saw an unexpected person standing in front of her desk. It was the image of the person she wanted to see the most.

“M-Meru!” Ume seems to be frozen  and can’t utter a word except for the girl’s name.

“ah! uhm- I just forgot something,.” meru was surprised to see ume, she stopped for a second looking away at ume’s gaze “i couldn’t give you this personally- uhm, i’ll be leaving tomorrow so i thought i’ll just leave it here on your desk”

Ume looked at her desk and saw a letter and on top of the letter was the pink dolphin keychain that she gave meru. Seeing it, ume  felt her chest been stabbed. She stared at meru, not sure of what she’ll say.

Ume walked a few steps , wanting to stop her but  she suddenly stopped her movement with the thought of, if she stopped her from leaving, she’ll be preventing meru from her dreams, from her future.

Meru looked at her, she waiting for ume to say or do something but gave up after a few minutes of silence.

“Ume” meru called

“I really love you. Thank you for everything”

“good bye”

Meru tried to smile but her tears can’t help to fall. She wiped her tears and walked out slowly passing beside ume. Even for the last time, she was hoping ume would do something.. but as their distance grew larger she can only feel more hurt.

Ume really wanted to stop her but her body seems to be frozen from where she was standing. She wanted to slap her face for being a fool, for being dishonest and stubborn on what she’s feeling. For not realizing how meru is important for her until this time. She don’t want to lose her.

Breaking all her thoughts, Ume reached for her  grabbing her hand and pulling her in for a hug.

“Don’t go!”

ume tried not to think of anything. She just wanted to be honest with her feelings. Telling Meru what she really feel.

“eh?” Meru was surprised of ume’s actions. she already gave up and was not expecting ume to do that.

“Meru, Please don’t go!” ume hugged her tighter as if trying not to let her go.

“you should have told me that earlier baka” Meru spoked in a low voice still can’t believe ume’s action.

“Up until now I haven’t realized how important you are to me, I don’t want to lose you. I’m sorry for making you cry” Ume pulled herself back grabbing meru’s shoulders while looking at her in the eyes.

“you said you didn’t like me” Meru looked away, She couldn’t hold her feelings. She  already did  her best for ume to like her and in the end she was hurt but she can’t do anything about it.

“yeah i don’t like you” ume smiled while looking at meru who was trying not to shed any tears. Suddenly, ume switched their places pushing meru on the chair and making her sit before leaning in.

“I don’t just like you, I love you” ume leaned in, closing their distance and stealing meru’s lips before flashing a mischievous smile making the younger girl bewildered.

“W-w-what?” meru held her lips startled. She really can’t believe what is happening. All of a sudden the pain seems to be vanished.

“am I dreaming?” meru uttered while ume gave her a laugh and a pat on the head. “Is this really happening?” meru asked again. “I c-can’t b-”

“I can’t believe i’m doing this either” ume leaned making their forehead touch. “but it’s true”

“Meru, I love you”

Hearing it again, Meru felt her heart palpitating. She always thought it was unrequited but still continued to believe in `love`. She was longing for this, for ume to love her back. Meru suddenly jumped up from her seat hugging the older girl. It was like a dream came true, and she couldn’t contain her happiness.

“hey-” ume scolded the younger girl, holding her while regaining her balance “geez.. don’t suddenly jump to me like that, that’s dangerous” she helplessly smiled at her
“But it’s rare for you to admit your feelings” meru giggled at her while ume looked away with a flustered face.
“don’t say that idiot” ume hid her face “I was afraid of losing you, you know”

“but what should we do? i can’t cancel the transfer application now”
meru looked down sniffing “i want to be with you”

“don’t cancel it, just go” ume reached for meru’s face wiping the tears.
“i don’t want to stop you from chasing your dreams.” she added giving meru a gentle smile.

“but i-”

“wait for me” ume held meru’s lips with her index finger stopping the girl from saying anything. “Do you remember that university from my options? uhm, the one i told you that was good but i’m not considering because it’s far from here. about that, i might try to take an entrance examination there.”

“eh?” meru looked at her confused “but you said you don’t want to leave our home town and the exams there is really difficult”

“yeah, but it is also in tokyo so-” ume felt her cheeks flushed. “well i’m not sure if i can pass but-”

“don’t say that without even trying!” meru smiled widely, leaning her body on the shorter girl, Up until now she still feels like she was dreaming, still can’t believe ume doing this. She was anxious of their future now but  she decided to just trust ume “I will wait, so do your best to definitely pass ok?”

“un!” ume smiled back. Locking their hands and gazing at each other’s eyes, the silence between them felt comfortable. Her confused feelings earlier was completely gone, all she can feel was relief. The relief of having to realize what she really feel. Like Meru, she was  also unsure of what their future would be, but what’s important for her now was she didn’t lose her.

Listen to HKT's 10th single



♡ AmaAki is the 4th gen's Natsumado! ♡ though i secretly ship Amane with Nappi

✩ HKT48 - 4th Gen ✩ Unjo Hirona (Nappi) → ponkotsu but diligent, crybaby, funny (always does wierd faces backstage esp. with her fellow gen), can play piano, can cook, good at ski (she's from hokkaido), likes sweet things, is (little) weird, is a little tsundere, is a bit S, has a crush on Team T2's vice capt. Hokazono Hazuki, Team T2 capt. Yamashita Emiri's fave among the 4th gen, has a weird and 'flirty' relationship with 4th gen Tsukiashi Amane as told by (Team T2) Yamauchi Yuna, 4th gen's Sarcastic Center Jitoue Nene has a crush on her, Everyone's girlfriend, allegedly gets wild at night, is cute, is Super CuTE! ♡♡

HKT hako oshi Team H Akiyoshi Yuka (ゆかちゃん Yukachan) Ui Mashiro (ましろ Mashiro) Ueno Haruka (はるたん Harutan) Kojina Yui (じーな Jiina) Kodama Haruka (はるっぴ Haruppi) Komada Hiroka (ぴーちゃん Piichan) Sakaguchi Riko (りこぴ Rikopi) Sashihara Rino (さっしー Sasshi) Tashima Meru (める Meru) Tanaka Natsumi (なつみかん Natsumikan) Tanaka Miku (みくりん Mikurin) Matsuoka Natsumi (なつ Natsu) Yabuki Nako (なこ Nako) Yamada Marina (まりり Mariri) Yamamoto Mao (まお Mao) Team K4 Imada Mina (みな Mina) Iwahana Shino (しの Shino) Ueki Nao (なお Nao) Kumazawa Serina (せりーぬ Seriinu) Shimono Yuki (しなもん Shinamon) Tanaka Yuka (ゆうたん Yuutan) Tomiyoshi Asuka (あすか Asuka) Tomonaga Mio (みお Mio) Fukagawa Maiko (まいこむ、まいこ Maikomu) Fuchigami Mai (まいちゃん Maichan) Miyawaki Sakura (さくら Sakura) Murashige Anna (あーにゃ Aanya) Motomura Aoi (あおい Aoi) Moriyasu Madoka (まどか Madoka) Team T2 Aramaki Misaki (みるん Mirun) Imamura Maria (まーさん Maasan) Kurihara Sae (さえちゃん Saechan) Sakamoto Erena (えれたん Eretan) Hokazono Hazuki (はづき Hazuki) Matsuoka Hana (はなちゃん Hanachan) Murakawa Vivian (びびあん Bibian / Vivian) Yamauchi Yuna (ゆうな Yuuna) Yamashita Emiri (エミリー Emiri) KKS Unjo Hirona - 4th Generation (なっぴ Nappi) Jitoe Nene - 4th Generation (ねねちゃん Nenechan) Oda Ayaka - 4th Generation (おだちゃん Odachan) Sakai Moeka - 4th Generation (おいもちゃん Oimochan) Shimizu Rio - 4th Generation (りおちゃん Riochan) Takeda Tomoka - 4th Generation (もかちゃん Mokachan) Tsukiashi Amane - 4th Generation (あまちゃん Amachan) Toyonaga Aki - 4th Generation (あき Aki) Matsumoto Hinata - 4th Generation (ひなたん Hinatan) Miyazaki Sono - 4th Generation (そのちん Sonochin)
 

Electrochemistry [NatsuMado] (oneshot)
`Is it really one sided love?` [MerUme/UMeru] (oneshot)
[MerUme/UMeru] Love is when you realize it (oneshot)
Fall for me, will you? 「ChiNatsu/ChiHaru」 (genderbend)
--collab fics with yurin23mayuki:
Daily Life of MaYuki Family [ (HKT) Natsu x Madoka x Chihiro x Aoi x Jiina]
You and Me... and the Red thread ~ [Mayuki, Kojiyuu, Saeyaka, Wmatsui, Atsumina]

Offline kuro808

  • Konkon + HKT + JPH!P= <3 and Happiness
  • Global Moderator
  • Member+
  • *
  • Posts: 23726
  • Natsu Oshi DESU!
    • Kurosawa87
Re: (HKT OS) [MerUme/UMeru] Love is when you realize it
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2015, 04:44:42 PM »
That was a bittersweet one and how much she had to go through realizing that fact :nervous
Random Thought:

tumblr

R.I.P. Jab!  Dad/friend

Offline Rinca

  • Birdwatcher
  • Member+
  • Posts: 180
  • I shall return. But I'll sleep for now.
    • Rinca00
Re: (HKT OS) [MerUme/UMeru] Love is when you realize it
« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2015, 05:25:51 AM »
THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!

I was actually waiting for someone to write an OS with MerUme.

That's why.


THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!


Lame Story ahead!

A Certain Love Story of a Cyborg Girl | Same Ground(Hiatus) | The Last Stand (On-Going)

Offline yurin23mayuki

  • Member+
  • Posts: 178
  • HKT48箱推し
    • yurin23mayuki
Re: (HKT OS) [MerUme/UMeru] Love is when you realize it
« Reply #9 on: December 10, 2015, 01:58:52 PM »
 :twothumbs :hand:
i'll tell you my comment on Skype tomorrow :P
and finish editing the next chapter, please :P

Offline ryo_heartkreuz

  • HKT is ♥
  • Member
  • Posts: 45
  • ぴっぴ隊
愛してるのに、愛せない (NatsuMado OS)
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2016, 12:33:06 PM »
just a little continuation from the `ElectroChemistry` fic that i wrote, per request.
This was actually inspired by the song 「愛してるのに、愛せない by AAA」 and it somehow fits the story  :sweatdrop:

Prequel : Electrochemistry [NatsuMado]






“ne madoka, do you want to run away?” Natsumi proposed looking into her partner's eyes.
For the first time in her life, Matsuoka Natsumi had the courage to do what she really wanted.

She was sick of getting pressured by her `respectable` family, lectured by `caring`teachers and keeping up with `moral` standards.
For once, She was a perfect daughter, a perfect student, a role model in the eyes of the society

But not anymore- not until she fell in love.
Falling in love with another girl.

- - - - -

愛してるのに、愛せない
「 I love you, but I can't 」
(Natsu POV)



"Natsu~!" She waved, smiling at me. Her smile, it is as if the cold weather warms down while I ran towards her.
"maachan, gomen- have you waited long?" I said gathering my breath from running. I was tired after a long day of work but as soon as I saw her face, it seems like my energy has been restored. Somehow, for me it was an amazing feeling. Being in love that is-

"just a little~" she patted my back as she looked at me with a worried face  "wanna go home now? you looks tired." 
"no, it's okay" I smiled back reassuring her. It's true that working all day is tiring and lately I've been getting sickly. But I guess that's normal for a person who have lived in luxury before. Nevertheless, this is something I wanna do. If living in riches would separate me from her then I would prefer to work till death-

"natsumi" she held my hand squeezing it.  "otsukare" she leaned her head on my shoulders as if slightly hugging me. Well it's not that I don't like it, but maachan being taller than me kinda bothers.. she should have just hugged me right? but oh well, we can do that at home.

"geez, what's with that?" I chuckled as I pull her beside me. Holding her hands I locked it with mine and slid our hands in my pocket. "let's go? we have plenty of time to flirt when we go home~"  I whispered earning a blush from her.

"idiot.." she murmured, her face had a pinkish hue, It was  really cute to tease her like this. "didn't you say we're going to see the illuminations? did you forget?" she said pouting at me.

"I didn't forget that you know~ ah, maachan let's find an uncrowded place to watch" I walked , leading her and trying to get us away from the cramped place..

After walking around, finally I saw a good place to watch the illuminations with her alone. It was a quiet place but it is not far from the place so we can still see the beautiful lights quite well.

"The lights are so beautiful" she said dreamingly, I looked at her and saw her eyes, as if they are sparkling.
"Yeah.. " I answered unconsciously but it's not the lights that I am gazing at.
"Natsu?" she caught me staring at her. "Something on my face?"

"No-" I continued staring at her, making her slightly falter. "Sorry, it's just that you're really beautiful" I chuckled, realizing how much I am drawn to her. 
"Far more beautiful than any other-"   staring directly at her eyes, I leaned forward at her, slowly reaching to caress her cheeks.

"Most beautiful" I uttered.. I was about to give her a kiss and the `surprise ` I'm anxiously preparing for several months now but  she lowered her head and cupped her face.
"natsumi-" she said, I can see her ears reddened. `is she this embarrassed?` I thought it was cute of her but then I heard her shriek

"I- I didn't know you can say romantic things like that-" she remarked with a half suppressed laugh,
I can feel the blood rushed up in my face from  embarrassment, while she continue laughing.

"geez!! maachan, you're ruining the mood!" I scolded her.
"sorry- sorry~" she said, still laughing. geez.. really- this girl

"natsu~" she called  "~angry?"  I didn't reply but instead pouted at her.
"don't be angry~ I was just joking~" she looked at me but I can still see her snickering from teasing me.

". . . " I didn't replied.

"natsumi~"  forcing me to look at her, I can feel her warm lips against mine.  "I love you"
"will you forgive me now?" she smiled. This girl is really unfair.

"I'm no match against you huh" I sighed surrendering. I was planning to kiss her first but she got me.
"yay~" she looked at me triumphantly. Is she still teasing me?
"geez.. maachan!"

"well, I don't mind surrendering at you- because.." I said reaching for her hand and then sliding a ring on her finger
"From now on and forever, I promise that I'll stay by your side maachan"

"eh? maachan?" again, she cupped her face.. wait- she isn't laughing again is she? geez, I'm being all serious here but she's just laughing?
"eh?" is she crying? 

"maachan?" I looked at her, she's really crying.. what should I do? didn't she liked it? wait- what should I do?
"m-madoka-chan" I called worriedly but then I was startled when she suddenly hugged me.

"really? will you really promise that?" she sobbed, her voice was as if from a little girl crying. "will you really stay by my side?"

Seeing her like that, I feel like my heart struck. This girl is very fragile, I won't ever hurt her.
"I promise" I told her hugging her tightly.



And that was our first Christmas together..


"was it already 5 years? 6?" I  slightly laughed at what I muttered, I must be fooling myself.. right?
It's already been 10 years since..
since I left her..

Memories keeps on flashing back while I Look at the illuminations, The memories from the happiest Christmas in my life.. It seems that the cold weather had gotten  chillier.
Right now, I was viewing the lights up close but It wasn't like the illumination from before.. These lights seems  dull..
and hazy..

"Matsuoka-san" the guy beside me faced me. "are you crying?" he asked offering his handkerchief.
"no- something just got in my eyes. It's okay-" I told him. I grabbed handkerchief from my bag and wiped my eyes. Even though I thought my tears have dried up whenever I think of her but I'm wrong. It would never dry up, the tears.. of regret.

"It's getting cold, should we head to the restaurant now?" This guy seems persistent so I just nod. Seriously, even though I  planned to just work this day, why do I have to go with this unknown guy that my parent's had set me up?  I know I'm on my late twenties , and it's the time when you normally get married but-

There is only one person I wanted to be married with..but now, I can't..

After a few minutes of drive it seems that we have arrived at the place. It was a fancy restaurant and it seems that he spent quite cash.
But honestly, I just wanted to go home.
A waiting staff guided us to the table and served the menus.
"Is there anything you wanted to eat? Don't worry, We can also order for a special dish." he said. Is he trying to impress me? I'm not going to be impressed by money right now.

"Then, is there anything you wanted to recommend? you seems familiar with this place so I leave it to you." I replied, Seriously, my head is starting to hurt, I wanna go home badly.
He then started ordering while I just looked around the surroundings. The place seems luxurious.
While waiting, the guy was trying to hold a conversation telling stories, some stories about himself. Honestly I don't really get what he's saying I just answer with either a nod or a smile.
I'm getting tired of these marriage meetings.

Finally, the meals have been served. The dishes served looks appetizing but still I don't sense any appetite in myself.
It's been like this ever since, After I went back in our house, I get to eat luxuriously again, no instant noodles nor convenience store food.
but- No matter how luxurious, no matter how much I loved eating, I can't seem to enjoy it any more.

"so how was it? Is it good for your taste?" he asked again. It seems he noticed I was not enjoying the food.
"it's delicious" I smiled, then he starts talking again.


"Back then.." I thought. Again my memories from her floods on my mind. Whenever I think of her , I either drunk myself with work or be drunk literally.  I really should've insisted on working today.

Even if we just always have vegetables or discounted meat for our meal, I always enjoy the dishes that she cooks for me. Everyday after a long day of tiring work, It was always  the moment I am looking forward to..

「   "natsumi~ welcome home!"  」
「 "so~ do you want to have a bath first? ? have a dinner first? ...or perhaps, me ?" 」

with a sweet and alluring smile she greeted me, I almost fainted with a blood gushing out of my nose.

Sometimes we go for a meal.. walking beside each other, hand in hand. Even if other people sometimes stares at us, we just ignore them.
We are so busy in our own world. We are happy and then we thought that just by loving each other would be enough.

When we ran away, we don't have any place to stay.  Back then, we have just graduated from high school .
With our pocket money from our allowance, we tried to search for a place to stay.. luckily, Her nanny from her childhood, let us stay in an old house.
It was small and shabby, it doesn't have much appliances  but we had lived  there comfortably.

Because there isn't much a job with a high pay I took two jobs . One at the morning till late noon and a part time at night.
She wanted to work too but I insisted her to go to college for the sake of our future.
We had an argument back then, she wanted to work instead and have me go to college. But I insisted I can go any time after her.
I don't wanna see her tattered from overwork, or perhaps it was just my pride.

And so we compromised, She went to college while I work to support us. Although, during weekends she would do a part time job. 
Of course we left the Sunday, to ourselves.
Both of us were still young but we are determined to prove to them that we really love each other.

Those days.. were the happiest moments in my life.


"Matsuoka-san?" a voice interrupted. I actually forgot that I have some company today. I almost drowned myself with the past again.
I sighed. "Sorry I just remember some work for today, what was it again?"
"ah I see. Sometimes my mind wanders too because of work" he laughed nervously, as I just looked at him "uhm,  I  said if it's okay if I call you by your first name?" he blushed.
Blushing for a guy huh.. well at least he seems different to the other guys my parents had set me up though.
"sorry, it's just that we do meet quite some time now and it would probably shorten our distance. But if it's okay if you don't want to- I can wait any time"
This guy is so persistent and it's creeping me out.  Although he seems nice.

"well it's ok" I said "Sorry, I don't feel well so if it's okay with you I wanted to go home early"
"oh, sure, sure. I'll take you home after we've finish eating"
And so I continued eating, and finally he stopped talking.

After which, I was about to finish the meal when a certain melody played.
It was a beautiful melody, A melody that seems to struck me with nostalgia.
"Oh, that is the pianist that I have told you" I heard him say "I wanted to bring you here so you could hear her play, Her music is great"

I turned around..
and

Tears suddenly flow..

It seems  that my world suddenly stopped and the noise had disappeared..
Only the music is left.. and the pain from the past..
The emotions that I have concealed throughout the past 10 years..
The thorns in my chest..

Once again, I saw her.


I wanted to hold her, never letting go again, I wanted to hold her tight.
I wanted to go back, Back to that time ..

That time, we are still kids.. kids that are not yet ready in life.
The sufferings brought by this cruel world, the heartless discrimination from this society and alas, our parents..

We are living fine back then, until we were forced to leave the place we started calling home.
We searched for a place to stay, our savings were almost used up.

「"I can manage to work fine! you don't have to get help with them with money!"」
「"I told you! If we would just to my parents then maybe they will help us!"」


Madoka insisted on talking with her parents. But the last time she wanted to do that, we have waited outside the restaurant for almost 10 hours and in the end they didn't turned up.


「"NO! Do you really believe what they say to you? Aren't you getting tired of them always making you hope for nothing? Didn't they just wanted us to separate that's why they're doing this?"」
「"Then I will just also work!" 」
「"I told you, you don't have to work and quit college!"」


She insisted on working, but I oppossed. The fact that it was me who insisted on running away and that I pledged to support the both of us made me obstinate.

「"Can't you see I'm over working just for both of us!"」
「"You don't have to work for the both of us! I can also work to but you're always against it!"」


After that, I fell sick. I don't remember anything back then, what I remember was my parents paying for hospital bills and lecturing us, I stopped them and grabbed madoka's hand walking away from them.

「"Maybe we should just go back" 」she said
「"So you're finally tired of living with me huh? You wanted to go back to your luxurious lifestyle? Fine!"」


Our anger collided..
In the end we hurt each other with those fierce words..
The painful feelings...
Those scars..

And even though I promised I would stay by her side..
I have broken her trust and left her.

When did things starts to go wrong? Why did this happen to us?
Why-? We are so happy back then.. I-  I just..
I just wanted to stay by your side forever..
I just wanted to tell you
I love you..


Finally the music stopped and you bowed to the guests. A person appeared near you carrying flowers.
Your eyes, they are so bright. Looking at you right now, you seem to be doing well even more than before.
And I- I regretted, regretted leaving you.

My cheeks are wet all over with bitter tears..  I ran away for a place to hide.
The truth is, right now, I wanted to go back to you.
But if I told you I still love you,  If I told you.. will I be able to go back?


I just want to go back, back to that time..
To the day before it all went wrong.

Crying here outside, I brace myself.
I know that there is no turning back.
That day when we ran away, It was a surge of our own emotions.
Two persons who find comfort and love from each other, trampled by cruel fate.
A young love torned by naivety and childishness.

If wishes do come true, Then let's start all over again.
I Love You but I can't. So maybe, just maybe..
After life, or maybe on our next life..
Hoping that fate isn't as cruel as now,
And that I can tell you again.. Hear you say again

"I Love You."


I stared at the sky uttering these words, the rain started pouring to the helpless me right now.
I closed my eyes..
The rainfall washes the tears away..

hm? did the rain stopped? I wondered..
Once again I opened my eyes,

a red umbrella
and a tall girl standing in front of me.


"Natsumi"





@yurin23mayuki - i don't know when i can write the next part  :lol:


« Last Edit: October 29, 2016, 04:03:47 PM by ryo_heartkreuz »

Listen to HKT's 10th single



♡ AmaAki is the 4th gen's Natsumado! ♡ though i secretly ship Amane with Nappi

✩ HKT48 - 4th Gen ✩ Unjo Hirona (Nappi) → ponkotsu but diligent, crybaby, funny (always does wierd faces backstage esp. with her fellow gen), can play piano, can cook, good at ski (she's from hokkaido), likes sweet things, is (little) weird, is a little tsundere, is a bit S, has a crush on Team T2's vice capt. Hokazono Hazuki, Team T2 capt. Yamashita Emiri's fave among the 4th gen, has a weird and 'flirty' relationship with 4th gen Tsukiashi Amane as told by (Team T2) Yamauchi Yuna, 4th gen's Sarcastic Center Jitoue Nene has a crush on her, Everyone's girlfriend, allegedly gets wild at night, is cute, is Super CuTE! ♡♡

HKT hako oshi Team H Akiyoshi Yuka (ゆかちゃん Yukachan) Ui Mashiro (ましろ Mashiro) Ueno Haruka (はるたん Harutan) Kojina Yui (じーな Jiina) Kodama Haruka (はるっぴ Haruppi) Komada Hiroka (ぴーちゃん Piichan) Sakaguchi Riko (りこぴ Rikopi) Sashihara Rino (さっしー Sasshi) Tashima Meru (める Meru) Tanaka Natsumi (なつみかん Natsumikan) Tanaka Miku (みくりん Mikurin) Matsuoka Natsumi (なつ Natsu) Yabuki Nako (なこ Nako) Yamada Marina (まりり Mariri) Yamamoto Mao (まお Mao) Team K4 Imada Mina (みな Mina) Iwahana Shino (しの Shino) Ueki Nao (なお Nao) Kumazawa Serina (せりーぬ Seriinu) Shimono Yuki (しなもん Shinamon) Tanaka Yuka (ゆうたん Yuutan) Tomiyoshi Asuka (あすか Asuka) Tomonaga Mio (みお Mio) Fukagawa Maiko (まいこむ、まいこ Maikomu) Fuchigami Mai (まいちゃん Maichan) Miyawaki Sakura (さくら Sakura) Murashige Anna (あーにゃ Aanya) Motomura Aoi (あおい Aoi) Moriyasu Madoka (まどか Madoka) Team T2 Aramaki Misaki (みるん Mirun) Imamura Maria (まーさん Maasan) Kurihara Sae (さえちゃん Saechan) Sakamoto Erena (えれたん Eretan) Hokazono Hazuki (はづき Hazuki) Matsuoka Hana (はなちゃん Hanachan) Murakawa Vivian (びびあん Bibian / Vivian) Yamauchi Yuna (ゆうな Yuuna) Yamashita Emiri (エミリー Emiri) KKS Unjo Hirona - 4th Generation (なっぴ Nappi) Jitoe Nene - 4th Generation (ねねちゃん Nenechan) Oda Ayaka - 4th Generation (おだちゃん Odachan) Sakai Moeka - 4th Generation (おいもちゃん Oimochan) Shimizu Rio - 4th Generation (りおちゃん Riochan) Takeda Tomoka - 4th Generation (もかちゃん Mokachan) Tsukiashi Amane - 4th Generation (あまちゃん Amachan) Toyonaga Aki - 4th Generation (あき Aki) Matsumoto Hinata - 4th Generation (ひなたん Hinatan) Miyazaki Sono - 4th Generation (そのちん Sonochin)
 

Electrochemistry [NatsuMado] (oneshot)
`Is it really one sided love?` [MerUme/UMeru] (oneshot)
[MerUme/UMeru] Love is when you realize it (oneshot)
Fall for me, will you? 「ChiNatsu/ChiHaru」 (genderbend)
--collab fics with yurin23mayuki:
Daily Life of MaYuki Family [ (HKT) Natsu x Madoka x Chihiro x Aoi x Jiina]
You and Me... and the Red thread ~ [Mayuki, Kojiyuu, Saeyaka, Wmatsui, Atsumina]

Offline kuro808

  • Konkon + HKT + JPH!P= <3 and Happiness
  • Global Moderator
  • Member+
  • *
  • Posts: 23726
  • Natsu Oshi DESU!
    • Kurosawa87
Re: 愛してるのに、愛せない (NatsuMado OS)
« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2016, 04:58:00 PM »
Time only had complicated things between the two and even with the confrontation, it seems to only be awkward at best :nervous
Random Thought:

tumblr

R.I.P. Jab!  Dad/friend

Offline yurin23mayuki

  • Member+
  • Posts: 178
  • HKT48箱推し
    • yurin23mayuki
Re: 愛してるのに、愛せない (NatsuMado OS)
« Reply #12 on: October 28, 2016, 08:57:36 AM »
re-reading it again~  :twothumbs waiting for the next part~   :heart:

JPHiP Radio (34/200 @ 128 kbs)     Now playing: Crayon Pop - Bing Bing