Well, it's been an incredibly long stint, and I have finally come up with something half-decent to post for the next chapter. Sorry for the long wait :evil: . So here it is.
Chapter 9
I toss and turn, blindly grasping at the air, unable to find that warmth that held onto me so securely during the night. Finally I realise that Maki probably had to leave for work. I replay last night’s events behind my eyelids. Once again, nothing had properly been resolved. Maki apologised for something entirely my fault, and that’s how it ended.
Despite not being able to fall asleep again, I still don’t want to open my eyes. I do though, and upon doing so, half my vision is obstructed by something ridiculously bright in colour. Lying there, I wonder (probably due to being half asleep) if I’ve somehow managed to contract a disease that makes people see in shades of pink.
Wait a minute… it feels like something is stuck to my head. Reaching up and pulling off the offending object, I see that it’s a fluro pink post-it note. What’s more, it’s been cut out in the shape of a heart. Maki’s so cute! How did it manage to stay stuck to my head while I slept? I smile stupidly at her and flip it over to see her rushed hand writing.
"Sorry, had to leave early for work. Breakfast and lunch are on the table so don’t go starving yourself!! Spare key is in the draw if you decide to leave (if you do, I’ll be sad)
Love, Maki"
My stupid grin grows even wider at her silly little message. I look a little closer and notice she managed to punch a hole through the paper where she signed her name. She drew a little arrow to it and wrote "Oops, I got a little too excited…" That dork! I wish she didn’t have to work today, but it can’t be helped.
I lie in bed for a few more minutes, reading and re-reading the little post-it note. Even though Maki’s not here, she has managed to make me feel giddy and bubbly inside. Still smiling to myself, I roll out of bed and head straight for the kitchen to see what Maki’s left for me.
I heat up the gorgeous looking and scrumptious smelling yakisoba that I find, and wonder where Maki learnt to become so adept in her kitchen skills. I tap the counter top, waiting for it to heat up and notice that she forgot her mobile phone here. Too bad… I wanted to message her… send her cute nonsense so that she would come back and tackle me in affection and smother me in kisses and… I blush as I almost think about where that could lead.
I flip open her phone and familiarise myself with its functions. I go to her message inbox and hesitate. Should I be doing this? Then again, what is there to hide between us, right? I let the little devil on my shoulder persuade me to take a peek. Her messages are mainly from H!P members. I randomly pick one from Miki and open it up. I gape. It’s a photo of me sitting in the common lounge room at work. I look so depressed here so it must have been from when Maki and I weren’t talking. I scroll down and read what Miki wrote.
"You can’t tell me that doesn’t break your heart. She doesn’t know, so how can she do anything to fix it?"
I feel tears sting my eyes but blink them back. Miki had tried to convince Maki to take the initiative before coming to me. I think about last night and wonder if it would be a good time to discuss things with Maki when she comes back from work.
I take the yakisoba off the heat and shovel some onto a plate. Taking my meal and Maki’s phone I head over to sit at her small dining table. As I chew the first mouthful I suddenly realise just how famished I am. I scroll through some more messages and stop when I come to an unfamiliar name. Nakagawa Ryuuichi. Come to think of it… I have seen this name somewhere before, but where? I open the message.
"I hope you find time in your busy schedule to read that book. Please be sure to keep up the medication."
I remember. It’s the person who sent Maki that book on stress. Maki’s doctor family friend. But what’s this about medication? I feel a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Maki’s been taking medicine? What does she need it for? Why hasn’t she told me? Ugh. I need to stop jumping ahead of myself to conclusions that are just speculation. It’s probably for something minor… he sent her a stress book… so it was probably to help with her stress from work. I tell myself this several times in the hopes that I’ll stop thinking about it.
It doesn’t work.
I seem to have lost my appetite, despite being starving a few minutes ago. I look menacingly at Maki’s phone on the table, wishing that she hadn’t forgotten here.
I force myself to eat the rest of Maki’s yakisoba because I don’t want her to think that it tastes bad. It definitely doesn’t, but that’s what she’ll think if she comes back and sees that it was barely touched.
Great. Now I have this… thing just gnawing at my mind. Gnawing and gnawing until finally I decide to take a nap just to try and forget about it for a little while. I close my eyes.
Gnaw. Gnaw.
I toss and turn and get all huffy about not being able to fall asleep.
Gnaw. Gnaw.
I look at the clock. It’s been around 40 minutes and I’m wide awake as ever. I sigh and get up. Why am I feeling so anxious about this? It’s just stress medication. That’s all. Simple as that.
I let out a big groan. I’m not really convincing myself right now. I need to relax. If Maki sees that I’m troubling myself over something she’ll only go and blame herself again. We could end up in another mess and who knows where that could lead.
I decide to take a bath and sort everything out with myself. I shouldn’t need to worry about Maki hiding things. She shouldn’t have anything to hide. Then in saying that, I shouldn’t be hiding anything from her either. Ok, good. That’s a good start to sorting out my huge pile of thoughts.
I wonder if Maki has as many worries floating around in her head as I do. If she does, then I don’t want her to. I don’t want her to worry. I don’t want her to feel like she has to keep things secret from me. I don’t want her to be thinking so much that she needs to read books about stress and take pills for it. I just want her to relax and enjoy herself. I feel a tight pang in my chest and suddenly realise just how much I miss her right now.
No matter how many times I try to stop thinking about whatever it is she’s taking for whatever it is that she’s got ailing her, I simply can’t. I get antsy and fidgety here alone in Maki’s apartment. What should I do? I start pacing through her apartment. I pace from her bedroom through to her kitchen then around the living room. When I’m done with that I start at her bedroom and do this all over again. Four times. Bah.
It’s only roughly eleven in the morning and I’m bored beyond belief. Ok, so that was a lie. I’m not bored. I’m curious. Curious to know who this Nakagawa Ryuuichi is and what he’s prescribed Maki. I can’t stand being stuck here and wracking my brain on this any longer so I decide to return to my apartment. I know Maki wanted me to stay, but I’m not really sure how to face her after going through her messages.
Being at home doesn’t really help either. I sit and try to ignore it by watching a DVD. It doesn’t work and I end up switching it off half an hour into the movie. Why am I so worked up over this? It’s just stress medication right? Maybe not. The message didn’t say precisely what the medication was for. But if it was something serious then Maki would have told me… wouldn’t she…?
*****
"Just a second!" I yell as I rush to the door. Who would be visiting me at 10.30 tonight?
I rush through the living room and vaguely wonder if it might be some axe-wielding psychopath. I get to the door and take a second or two to catch my breath before opening it.
"Boo."
"Boo?"
"You’re supposed to be scared."
"Oh?"
"And scream for help, like in the movies."
I laugh at Maki’s strange greeting as I pull her into my apartment. I’ve only just managed to close the door and she throws herself onto me, almost knocking me over as she tightly wraps her arms around me. I laugh and hug her back just as tightly, forgetting anything that I was worrying about earlier - at least for the time being.
"I told you I would be sad if you left," Maki says as she navigates us towards my sofa, being careful not to make us trip and fall.
"I know. I’m sorry… I got bored there on my own," I apologise as we sit down. It was the half truth, and when she wholeheartedly bought it I felt guilt explode in my stomach. "So how was work?" I change the subject, not wanting to start thinking too much again. I practically hear her grin and look up to find that she has a mischievous smile plastered on her face. I raise a brow.
"It was… interesting. We ran through the choreography for my new single," Maki tells me and I can hear the excitement dripping out of her voice. It makes me smile giddily to see her so happy.
"Yeah? What’s it like? If it’s anything like Glass no…" I find myself unable to finish my sentence because Maki begins slowly running her fingers across the inside of my thigh. I blush profusely and clear my throat. Her hand stops and stays where it is. She focuses her eyes on mine and smiles again.
"They let me bring the tape home from practice… do you want to see it?" she asks me as she leans her head against mine, kissing my cheek. My heart flutters.
"Um. Yes. I do. Ok… you put the tape in and I’ll get us some drinks," I splutter out and hastily make my way to the fridge.
She’s in a very good mood tonight. As I pour some juice I wonder about her medication again. How serious can it be if she seems so carefree? Then again, she might just be covering it up… In any case, she’s in very high spirits and I’m not about to go and do or say anything that could ruin it for her. Whatever I might have to say can definitely wait for another time. Right now, I just want to enjoy being with her silly self tonight.
"Hey, it’s starting!" Maki calls to me. I bring over our glasses and snuggle into Maki as she hits play.
It begins with Maki goofing off with her dancers and I poke some fun at her for being so weird. She laughs and tells me I like it. It’s true and we both know it. They begin practicing the dance routine. At first I don’t notice anything special. Suddenly Maki bursts into some very provocative dance moves and I choke on my juice.
Maki immediately pauses the tape to give me a few thumps on the back as I feel the juice sting my throat and nose. Who choreographs Maki’s dances?! Her fanboys are going to have nosebleeds when they see this! I suddenly feel protective instincts kick in and I wish that other people weren’t allowed to see her like that.
I go the to bathroom to clean myself up and change out of my semi-wet clothes and into something a little more dry. I can hear Maki laughing like a maniac at me and scowl at her for being so… sexy. I bet she had this planned from the very beginning. Show me a video of her being extremely sexy and get me all embarrassed.
I’m finally ready and settle back down onto the couch again. Maki teases me a little bit before starting the video again. I decide that I shouldn’t be drinking anything while watching this. The more I watch, the redder my face becomes, the more heated I feel all over and the more I notice how close Maki really is to me. Finally the video ends. I’m not sure if that was an hours worth of agonisingly sweet eye-candy or sheer torture.
"Did you like it?" Maki asks me as she corners me against an arm of the couch. Since when did she discover that she likes teasing me so much?
"Uhun," I briefly answer and nod, lightly gripping the sides of her top.
"What did you think of the dance?" Maki questions as she kisses the side of my neck. I gulp and wonder why she’s bothering to ask anything right now.
"Uh…" I can’t seem to form anything coherent as she reaches my collarbone with her lips.
"You’ve got a day off next week. It’s the same day we’re shooting the PV. Come watch," she breaths against me as her hand crawls beneath my shirt.
"Ok," I reply without thinking. I’ll always give in to her. Whatever she asks for, I’ll give it to her. I’ll give her anything.
I react to Maki like clockwork. I arch against her, breathe against her, gravitate towards her. It’s almost agonising like this, yet oh so satisfying. Would she ever do such a thing to anyone else? Would she ever touch anyone else like this? Kiss anyone else like this? Love anyone else like this? Her body tells me no, and I feel her heart confirm it.
I greedily absorb all the love she channels into me. She’s showing me that she’s always right here for me. She’s showing me that I’m not alone. She lets me feel it all.
She takes me higher. She takes me so high above anything else that I’ll fall when she pushes me. And when I finally do fall she’s right here waiting to catch me and free me from anything that creates negative thoughts. She frees me from my fears, my worries, my anxieties.
She releases me into the purest form of bliss.
*****
2.53 am.
I’ve been awake for a while. Maki shifts slightly behind me before settling back into her deep slumber. Curled into her like this, I wonder if this would be happening more often. I flush as I remember what happened only a few hours ago.
That’s partly why I’m still wide awake… during the course of the night Maki had said something. It caught me off guard, it made me think more than twice. It almost made me stop what I was doing and just hide in a corner. But I didn’t.
"I wish we didn’t have to end."
The words she had breathed out against me stabbed needles into my ears. What did she mean "didn’t have to end"? Doesn’t she think that we’re going to last? For a while at least? I can’t stop thinking about it, and every time I’m about to nod off, it keeps coming back to taunt me.
It’s been one thing after another with Maki. First, the mystery medication and now this. Should I just come right out and ask her? I feel a tightening in my chest and realise that I would need all the courage in the world and more to ask her something so serious.
"Why do you have to be so complex?" I wonder out loud, and then instantly clamp my hand over my mouth. I hold my breath. What if Maki heard me? I lay as still as possible, wondering if she’s merely pretending to be asleep.
After a few minutes Maki slowly tightens her arms around me and sounds as if she’s coming out of her slumber.
"Did I wake you up?" Maki asks, her voice crackly from sleep.
"Huh? No, you were asleep, remember?" I reply, trying not to sound too awake. She’s stays silent for a little bit, still battling her tiredness.
"Then why are you awake?"
"Because… I like being like this with you. If I sleep then I’ll miss out on it…" I say quietly. At least it’s the partial truth. I really love these small moments together with Maki, where she’s just holding me… even if she is asleep. It’s a lot more than I get to spend with her on a regular day, with schedules like ours.
Maki responds with a satisfied chuckle and a kiss on the back of my head. I smile. Eventually her breathing becomes rhythmic and deep again, and I know she’s already fallen asleep.
"I wish we didn’t have to end."
What was she thinking? Maybe I’m just reading too much into it. I’m not sure she was really aware of what she was saying… in that state… at that moment. It could have meant absolutely nothing, it could have just slipped out, it couldn’t mean… it couldn’t really mean what the words are supposed to mean. Ugh, I’m beginning to go around in circles again.
"Reina-chan, you need sleep too, you know?" Maki’s sleepy drawl interrupts my thoughts. When did she wake up again? I reach down and blindly run my fingers over the veins on her hands as she draws circles on my stomach.
"I know. I’ll sleep now," I reply. It’s an honest answer. I really do need sleep, and I most definitely want to try and get that sleep, or I’ll be a wreck at work. Whatever Maki had said earlier should just be forgotten.
I’m sure it didn’t mean anything.
I’m sure.
I’m sure I want to be sure.
Topic: Sun (updated 25th April!!! CHAPTER 12 up!) (Read 26803 times)