Why? (Friday's Children are Certainly Full of Woe)

[OTN1]

I've created far too many threads in the past 24 hours.  I'm sorry.

But even sorrier for having written this.  On the eve of a possibly no-good scandal, I present a "what if??" story in the key of Love x 2.  Two parts, both very different formats.  If you're looking for my "typical" style of writing, skip to part 2.

Because you can't have 10 chapters of fluff without one or two chapters of pure angst:

Why?  (Friday's Children are Certainly Full of Woe)

Part One

In a high-rise building overlooking Shibuya, a rare interview is taking place.  The interviewer, a young upstart named Miyauchi who has just graduated from a prestigious journalism school, has been assigned the task of interviewing a selection of celebrities who are involved in a company that is yet again the target of gossip and scandalous writings.  To be more precise, Miyauchi has been charged with the task of finding out what fellow Hello!Project members have to say about the scandal that Morning Musume leader Fujimoto Miki is currently embroiled in.  One interviewee has piqued Miyauchi's interest, however, and he secretly (not to mention immorally) records the interview.


Miyauchi: What did you think when you heard about Fujimoto Miki-san's scandal?

Matsuura: [Freezes in the middle of fixing her hair] Well, of course I was surprised at first.  I mean, I found out through a co-worker who called to ask if I knew anything since Miki-chan and I are known to be close.  It was the first I'd heard of the scandal.  It was Saturday afternoon.  No, not afternoon.  Just before noon, I think.  Maybe around 11:30am.

Miyauchi: Were you aware of the relationship between Fujimoto-san and Shouji-san?

Matsuura: [Glowers] I knew they had met, but I wasn't aware of this non-stop three day love getaway, or whatever they're calling it.

Miyauchi: [Coughs nervously] Oh, I see.  So you mean to tell me that you did not know that Shouji-san was Fujimoto-san's boyfriend?

Matsuura: [Nods] That's right.

Miyauchi: [Crosses legs and leans back into chair] Does this mean that the publicised friendship between you and Fujimoto-san isn't an accurate depiction of your real relationship with each other?  If you two are close friends, shouldn't you be aware of such a large detail of Fujimoto-san's personal life?

Matsuura: [Darkly] One would think I'd be.  Wouldn't you agree?

Miyauchi: [Shifts in seat nervously]

Matsuura:  To answer your question in a little more detail, no, we really are close friends, so I'd say that our publicised friendship is more or less an accurate depiction of our relationship.

Miyauchi: [Interrupts] More or less?

Matsuura: [Glares and repeats resolutely] More or less.

Miyauchi: [Nods weakly]

Matsuura: And so now you can imagine why I was so surprised to find out that Miki-chan indeed had a boyfriend.

Miyauchi: Err... So... What does this mean between the two of you?  Is this the end of not just Fujimoto-san's career, but also her friendship with you?

Matsuura: [Holds head up high] I don't think that's something the public needs to know.  We're dealing with it privately.  I'm sorry, but are we done here?  I have an appointment.

Miyauchi: [Sweats] Um... yes.  We're through.  Thank you for your time, Matsuura-san.

Matsuura: [Politely but brusquely] Don't mention it.

[Tape ends here]

An hour later, Miyauchi makes a call and checks in with his employer.

"I couldn't glean much about the Fujimoto-Shouji scandal case from Matsuura-san, although Fujimoto-san's attention to complete secrecy is quite evident.  Not even her supposed best friend knew of her relationship with Shouji-san.  I have an appointment with Takahashi Ai-san later this evening, but I have a feeling we won't find out much from her either."

He is silent as he listens to his boss' opinion.

"Yes, that's true, sir, and I'll get on it.  However, if you wish for me to also pursue this secondary scandal story - the dissolution of GAM's friendship - I have enough to get started on it..."

Miyauchi is silent for another few seconds.

"I'm sorry, from whom, sir?"

More boss talking.

"Occhi?  It doesn't ring a bell."

More boss talking.

"She requested?"

Boss.

"Ah, I see.  A connection.  Got it."

Boss.

"Ah, right.  I understand, sir.  Higher ups are higher ups, after all."

Disgruntled boss.

"Um, yes, sir, I'd like to keep my job.  I'm very sorry.  I didn't mean anything like that at all.  As far as I know it, you're at the top with them."

Placated boss.

"I understand, sir.  No GAM stories because of that, um, what'shername-san.  Got it."

Boss.

"Yes, sir!  I'll check in after Takahashi-san."

Boss.

"Goodbye."

And now it's time for this part of the story to end and another more important one to begin.

[OTN1]

Part 2

Later that evening, I sit in a café.  It's storming outside, a sign of the rainy season that's just around the corner.

The owner and manager, Ochiai, comes out to welcome me after one of the regular servers goes to the back to inform her I've arrived, but she must see the look on my face because she settles for simply nodding her head at me and slipping back into the kitchen.

My face is darker than the storm cloud-covered sky that has hovered over Tokyo the whole day.

Almost two years and then this.

Hell, more than two years.  How long have we known each other?  Add on a few years.

It's going to be my birthday in a month.

My birthday....

In Kobe two years ago...

I remain still as the anger in me builds up.  I want to put on a perfect front of calmness because I have yet to find out any real information.

I lied in the interview this morning.  I said Miki and I were dealing with this blow to our friendship, but the truth is that we haven't spoken about it.  I sent her an e-mail yesterday asking her what Friday was all about, and she sent me back an e-mail saying she needed to talk to me.  She suggested our usual haunt - Terrace Café.

So here I am.

Miki has some sort of boyfriend?  It can't be.  Last I checked, she was swooning over me.  And I over her.  We were happy and making it work.  For two years.

For two freaking years.

Therefore, the magazine has to be wrong.  The article has to be all wrong.  It wasn't Miki they saw.  Or it's all been made up.  Or... or else it's completely true, and my best and closest friend in the world is not the person I thought she was.  I thought she was honest with me. 

I sit and fume silently.

I'm going to have to watch her carefully from the moment she walks in.  She's so good at hiding her thoughts and feelings, and while I thought I was so good at figuring them all out, now I've worried myself into thinking that I'm not as skilled as she is.  She may have been hiding all sorts of things without my noticing for the past... who knows how long.  How long has she been seeing him?  If it's true that there's something going on between them, that is.  How come I never noticed before?  If.  If it ends up being true.

The door opens and a familiar figure walks in.  She has her head bowed down as she looks at the door and closes it behind her.  She turns around and raises her eyes to take in the café, searching for someone.  Me, of course.

She spots me immediately.  She averts her eyes quickly and puts her umbrella in the umbrella holder at the front entrance.  She then walks over to my table, making a show of wiping off any stray raindrops that have fallen past her umbrella and onto her clothes.  I can tell it's an act so that she doesn't have to look at me.

I fix her with a solid look, and when she finally meets my eyes, I can see apprehension in hers as clear as the sunny day that preceded this stormy one.  To her credit, though, she doesn't break our eye contact until she sits down and looks up at the server who has appeared by her side and is handing her a menu.

"Thank you," she says politely, and the server walks off looking concerned, no doubt feeling the tension that has suddenly increased in the room upon Miki's arrival.

Miki gives the menu a cursory glance and then puts it down.  She looks at the table and sees that I'm drinking iced tea.  She doesn't make any motion to order a drink.  I guess I'll be footing my own bill.  No problem.

I stare at her, but she just looks down at her hands, which are neatly folded on the surface of the table immediately in front of her.  Her nails are neatly done.  I take a look at the rest of her.  Her clothes are sharp, although a little wrinkled.  She must have been busy with work-related things.  Filming or interviews or press conferences or whatever.  I have no clue. 

"So, you and Shouji-san, huh?" I open up.

My voice comes out sounding far too bitter.  Far too sarcastic.  It's laced with poison that I didn't even know I was capable of producing in my own body.

She looks up at me sharply.

"Tomo-kun is..."

Tomo-kun, I think.  So that's what she calls him.  Pretty stupid if you ask me.  Sounds girly.  Not that I should talk.

I cough to clear my throat of that bitter taste that has been there for two days.

"Miki," I start, testing my voice and glad to hear that it's expressionless.  "I've seen the news and all the other crap that they've been saying the past two days.  I've even done an interview about it, which was an unbelievably embarrassing blow to both you and me and our public friendship.  So I'm just going to ask you once.  What's going on?"

I count the seconds that pass.  She looks down at a spot on the table, focusing on it intently, not letting up her determination for anything.  I can't even tell if she's breathing.

I count one hundred and twenty-four seconds go by.

"I do know him, and we did spend those three days together," she utters, the volume of her voice so low that I can barely hear her.

I wait for her to continue, but she doesn't.

"And?" I ask, pressing her to speak some more.

I'm not going to jump to conclusions.  I've watched too many movies where at this point in the story, the victimised person bounces to her feet, slaps her companion, and screams accusations of infidelity, while her companion sits there, astonished, assaulted, and left without a chance to give his perfectly reasonable and truthful excuse that would make everything better.

Another thirty seconds pass, and when I think she's not going to say anything, she looks up at me, fear in her eyes.  Is it fear because she thinks she's done something wrong?  Or fear for her safety?  Does she think I'm going to get mad at her and do something outrageous?

"The things that they're saying are, uh, kind of true."

Oh.

I feel like I'm floating on a cloud.  Birds are singing in my head, chirping sweet songs to their cousins and neighbours.  Down below, I see elementary school children playing in a park, and I spin around idly and think about cotton candy and ice cream.

Ain't life grand?

"So you and Shouji-san, huh?" I ask, my voice distant and calm as I unwittingly repeat what I first said to her.

She looks up at me, and the fear in her eyes has grown.  She stays silent.  She knows that I've interpreted correctly what she's telling me.

"Well, good luck with him," I smile.

I stand up and drop a bill on the table to cover the cost of my iced tea.  Matsuura Aya never has any debts, after all.

My one purpose in life becomes to walk out of that café without any reaction at all.  To stay completely calm, even to smile as I nod goodbye to the server who will hurry over to bid me farewell.

And I do.  I nod at the server who scurries over nervously, and I slip out the door.  I neglect to pick up my umbrella.  Who needs an umbrella?  Humans are seventy percent water, right?  I'll be in my element.

I walk right into the storm, a strange ringing in my ears.  I can't even hear the rain.  I see a flash of lightning and feel the rumble of thunder that follows it, but it doesn't really register any further than that.  They are occurrences that don't concern me.

I walk in the opposite direction of the train station, going somewhere else, although I don't know where.

The further away I walk from the café and Miki, the more detached I feel from my life.  So much so that I could jump in front of a speeding train and I wouldn't feel any pain.  I'm so numb that now I'm not sure if I'm breathing.

I walk headlong into a tree, and that's what wakes me up.

I'm in a deserted park.  The rain is coming down in sheets so thick that I can't see a few metres ahead of me.  I'm drenched, not a centimetre of me spared.

I reach up and touch my face to make sure it's still there.  It's wet with rain, but it feels peculiarly hot.  I have to keep blinking.  Rain is getting in my eyes and irritating them.  It burns and I can't see clearly.  Too much rain.  Too much... rain?  No, it's not rain.  Those are tears.

I'm crying.  Crying very hard and very loudly.

Without a thought for my clothes, I kneel down beside the tree that I just walked into, and tears pour out of my eyes.  I sob out incoherent words.  I mumble Miki's name and ask why over and over and over again.  I claw at the muddy ground on either side of my knees, my fingers sinking deeply into the earth.

Why has she done this to me?  She's lied to me.  She's thrown away everything we're supposed to have together.

I never expected this from her.  Not her.  Not the girl who, on that hot day two summers ago, had confided in me all her secrets.  The one who had told me that she had been hurt before but that she trusted me not to hurt her.

She knows how it feels to be betrayed.  So why has she done it to me??

"I hate you!" I scream into the rain, and I let out more sobs that threaten to cut off my air supply.

I don't mean that.  I don't hate her.  If I hated her, I wouldn't be reacting like this.  I wouldn't feel so heartbroken.

But I want to hate her.  I don't even want an explanation.  What is there to explain?  She went behind my back with someone else, all the while snuggling up to me and telling me she thought of nobody but me.  I can't believe I let her do that.  Or maybe I can't believe that I didn't see it happening.

I'm the world's biggest idiot.  The world's biggest loser.  I've been humiliated in so many ways.  I've been violated.  I've been broken.  Trampled on.  Shot through the heart.

So here I kneel, utterly helpless, rain and tears streaming down my face, no will to go on anymore. 

And the worst thing about it?

I have to suffer through it all alone.

The end.

[Mikan]

First of - Terrace cafe, real place in Tokyo?
Second - Very heartbreaking.
Thridly - Do I say Love x 2? or should it be Rabu Rabu?
Forth point - Man, what a pain in the ass (this news)

And off the record - Post as much as you want and quick as you can. Reading the work of my favourite and most respected author seems to be the only thing that cheers me up even if the story makes me cry like a little girl.

[Estrea]

I still feel ill. Deadly ill. The news made me sad, this story made me sad (but in a better way than the news did lol).

Now I'm totally too down to write All Aboard. It's not your fault. It's just the shock of the news. I'll get over it...eventually. Sigh.

[OTN1]

Mikan:
1 - Not that I know of
3 - I've never thought about that.  I always think of it in English, but I took the title from this picture, which is in English.

Off the record: Thanks, you flatter me too much!  Hahaha.

And yes, it's quite shocking news.  That's why I feel bad writing about it so soon, but when the bug of inspiration bites...

[OTN1]

Friday stories always come in at least groups of three.  Hah.

Part 3

Fuck.

Crapcrapcrap!!

What have I done??

That's all I can think as Aya smiles at me calmly and walks out of the café, displaying a devil-may-care attitude that gives me chills.

It all started ten months ago when I met Tomo-kun.  He was funny and entertaining.  He made me laugh.  We exchanged e-mail addresses just to keep in touch.  He seemed like a good and interesting guy to know.

A month and an inbox full of mail later, we started to hang out.  Just going for coffee here or there when we had twenty minutes to spare.  Nothing serious, although we were well aware of the potential reporters hidden around us in plain sight.  We always made sure to be careful about where we went.

It was all innocent and harmless.  We were just becoming friends.

The thing that I know I did that was questionable was that I didn't tell Aya a thing.  When we went to bed and talked about what we did all day, I never mentioned that I met him for coffee.  I never mentioned that he and I exchanged long e-mails every day.

Why?  Because I loved (and still love) her way too much to worry her over something that shouldn't be worried over.

Then one day he invited me to go over to his apartment.  I went, and while he was showing me some of his paintings around the house, he suddenly turned around and kissed me.  My world was turned upside down because I really liked it.

I freaked out a bit, though, because I'd only known him for a little over a month.  No, that's my front.  Of course it was because I had Aya, with whom I was perfectly happy.  He didn't know about her, though, so he thought he wasn't doing anything wrong.

The next day, he sent me a long e-mail apologising for scaring me and saying that he'd still like to be friends.  He promised to never do anything like that again.

That's what made me fall for him.

I agreed to meet him again, and so we had coffee.  We then went back to his place, and this time I made the first move and kissed him.  He was surprised, but happily so.

We didn't go that far at all for a while.  We just acted like we were fifteen years old, holding hands and making out on the couch, but eventually it got serious.

Two things of interest to note.

One was that I kept it all a secret.  Aya didn't know about him, and he didn't know about Aya.  He never questioned the time I spent with her.  She never suspected that on the days I didn't spend the night with her, I was with him.

The second is that I was (and still am) massively in love with her.  But I like Tomo-kun, too.

So that leads me to the here and now.  I just want to be with them both.

Aya is like my safety net.  My security blanket.  But an exciting one!  One that keeps me guessing.  One that knows me inside out and backwards.  One that knows exactly what to do to please me or annoy me.  Always there for me.  Always my pillar of strength.  My inspiration.  My idol.  So adorable when she tries to be funny, because she's really not cut out for the kind of humour her fellow Kansai  mates are seemingly born to produce.

But Tomoharu... He's new.  He's different.  He's funny.  He treats me in a silly way, but respects me like mad.  With him, I feel like a flirty high school girl.  He's such a gentleman.  He holds doors for me, and I actually like it.

What the hell?!  How can I be in love with two people at the same time?  And two people who are opposites in every way imaginable!

I know that what I've done is wrong, and I know that I should have come forward and admitted to Aya what I was doing.  I should have gotten her forgiveness early on, forgotten about Tomo-kun before I really fell for him, and gone back to my happy life with her.

But that fresh and new something in him tempted me far too much, and...

Now I'm ruined.

I don't care what happens to my job.  I've been getting sick of being UFA's lackey, and I've been sensing that the ship is about to start its painful descent into oblivion.

I do care what happens to my personal relationships.

Ever since Aya's nineteenth birthday, my fear has been a scandal involving me and her.  I never imagined that I'd first be involved in a scandal with some comedian I met by chance at a television studio.

I want to explain it to her, though.  I want to tell her that I have never stopped thinking about her.  That everything I've said to her the past two years is true.  Each time I've said "I love you", I've meant it even more than the last.

As for Tomo-kun... I have to tell him about Aya.  About me and her.  As painful and as awkward as it will be, I have to be entirely honest with him.

If I was an optimist, I'd think that I could explain things to both of them and then choose one to stay with.  The one that was least pissed off with me.

But I'm an realist (usually), and I think that neither of them are going to be too pleased with me.  If anything, though, Tomo-kun will be the lesser of the offended.

But I don't want to have to choose him.  Not after seeing Aya in such a shocked state that all she could do was smile in the wake of such terrible and life-destroying news.  I feel like I have to dedicate the rest of my pathetic life to making it up to her.

Then what am I waiting for?

I spring up from my seat, running by the server that has just seen Aya out and yelling something about money on the table.  She'll get the point.

Just like Aya, I leave my umbrella behind.  There's no time for that.  I look around wildly, but I don't see her on the street.

I'm about to give up when the door to the café opens and the server pops her head out.

"She went that way," she says, pointing in the opposite direction the station.

She must have seen what way Aya turned after stepping out. 

"Thanks!" I exclaim gratefully to the observant girl as I take off sprinting.

The surface of the street is slick with rain and devoid of pedestrians.  Nobody - even people with full rain gear - dares to brave this storm.  But I don't care.  I'm soaked within thirty seconds, but finding Aya is more important.

However, I do slow down to a slight jog because I keep slipping.  Also, if I'm going too quickly, I might run right by her.

As I scour the streets for her, I think of what I can possibly say to start making things better.  I guess I have to start with an apology.  But that's not going to be good enough.  Not even close.  After saying "I'm sorry", I'll be at a loss.

Then I see her.  She's backing away from a tree in a tiny park.

What is she doing??

I carry on at a fast but cautious walking pace.

I watch with a heavy heart as she kneels down in the dirt and starts to cry.

So this is her true reaction.  It has hit her now.

I move in closer.

Her skirt is getting muddy.  I wish she'd stand up again.  I can't bear to see her like this, getting dirty, crying, and looking helpless.

"I hate you!" I hear her scream clearly above the tumultuous roar of the rain and the wind.

The words stab me in the chest like no other words before.  She has every right to say and mean them.  I've hurt her.  I've shredded her trust to pieces and thrown them to the dogs.

But I want her to know that it's not what I wanted to do.  It just got out of my control.  I made stupid mistakes.  I got a bit confused.

I watch her mumble things that I can't hear, her face contorted in the most painful display of sadness I have ever seen.

I feel my eyes start to burn, and I swallow down my own tears.

I have no right to cry.  I've been selfish and idiotic.  I've thrown her away.  Nobody's hurt me.  This time I'm the one who has hurt the people I care about.  I don't deserve to cry and be pitied.

I walk to her slowly, terrified of what her inevitable reaction to me will be.  I fear serious bodily harm.

And then I find myself standing in front of her.  She's got her face covered by her muddy hands.

"Aya..." I mumble under my breath.

My words are carried away by the wind.  She hasn't heard me.

"Aya," I say a little more loudly.

She takes her hands away from her face, and when she sees me, the hatred in her eyes can't be mistaken for anything else. 

Regardless, I kneel down in front of her.  I want to wipe away the spots of mud that stick to her skin, but touching her wouldn't be a bright move.

"I'm sorry."

She looks right through my face.  I don't know if she's heard me.

"Aya-chan, I'm sorry," I repeat.

"Leave me alone," she utters in a blank tone.

"Can't I talk to you for a minute?" I ask.

She shakes her head.

"I don't want to hear any lame excuses.  Just stand up and get the hell away from me," she says, her words carrying a wild bite meant for my jugular.

"Please, Aya," I plead.

Her face is a stone when she looks up at me, and it tells me to leave or she'll get physical about it.  I don't doubt it, but she can kick and punch me as much as she wants.  I'm not going to give up.

"I've never stopped loving you, and that's the truth," I tell her in a soft voice that has just enough volume so that she can hear over the storm.

She breaks down crying again.  I take this as my cue to reach out and hug her.  She pushes me away violently, but I expect that to happen, so I just hold her tightly.

"Stop it!" she cries.

I don't let go.

"Stop!" she repeats again.

I tighten my hold on her, putting my head on her shoulder.

"Stop..." she mumbles, but she stops struggling, her voice losing its power.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper into her ear.  "I'm so sorry, Aya."

She tries one more time to pull out of my embrace, but all her strength seems to have left her body.

"I'm sorry," I repeat again and again, and she just cries, her head hanging over my shoulder.

"Please," she manages to sob out.

"Please what?" I ask.

"...don't..."

Don't?  Don't hug her?  Don't stay?  Don't leave?

"Don't what?" I ask gently, not wanting to set her off.

"D-don't- don't say you're s-sorry," she says between gasps of air.

I instinctively rub her back even though I know that more contact between us might make her get serious about trying to push me away.  However, years of experience comforting her has built up automatic reactions in me, and this is just one of them.

"But I am.  I can't believe I did this to you," I respond.

"Why did you do it?" she asks.

I wince.  At least she's talking to me.  The problem is that I don't know what to say.

"Would you believe me if I told you I was lost?" I try.

I can feel her shake her head.

"Aya, I was confused.  It was all new with him, and it just unfolded that way."

That's got to be the lamest thing a cheater has ever said to the person who has been wronged.

She pulls away from my arms, but not in a rough way.  I let her go because it doesn't feel like she's about to run.

"If you were bored with me, you should've said something," she says, her tone angry, her face hurt.

I put my hands on her shoulders, but she flinches away, so I take my hands away.

"No, I've never gotten bored of you.  He was just different, and I enjoyed his company."

"I can't believe it, Miki.  I just..." she breaks off as a lump of tears seem to come out of her eyes and spill down her cheeks, although with all the rain still falling, it's hard to tell. 

"I made a mistake in judgement and I hurt you.  But you have to know that I still love you.  Even more than ever.  You know that.  I know you do."

I'm bluffing.  I have no idea if she thinks I still love her.  But it's the truth.

"I know!" she yells at me, suddenly clenching her fists.  "And I hate you!!"

I flinch, but when I look at her eyes, they betray the opposite of her harsh statement.  Those aren't eyes full of hatred.  Sure she's sad, hurt, and angry, but she doesn't hate me.  She's disappointed because she is looking at someone that she loves, but that someone has fallen from grace.

"You don't mean that," I say, and for some reason, the tears that I swallowed down earlier have resurfaced, and they start to climb down my cheeks slowly.

"No, but I wish I did," she hisses.

A loud clap of thunder that shakes the ground makes us jump, but we don't laugh like we normally would.

"Can you forgive me?" I ask, even though it's not the right place in the conversation to insert such a request.

"No," she replies in the same voice without thinking.

"Can you give me a chance?" I beg.

Her hesitation to reply gives me hope.  It means that she's listening to what I'm saying and thinking about it hard.

"How can I?" she asks, all the malice in her voice gone again to be replaced by weakness.  "You've betrayed my trust.  You've ruined the entire foundation that you and I stood on.  You killed my heart.  I'm so... so embarrassed."

I sniff and scream at myself in my head for my tears to stop.  She's going to get angry at me for crying.  I don't deserve to cry.

"I'm sorry," I babble.

I'm starting to see the futility of my actions.  We're going to go round and round and spar with our words, never reaching a conclusion that either one of us are satisfied with.

"I'm sorry," I repeat, and I stand up.

To my surprise, Aya looks up at me, slightly startled.

"If you don't want to listen to what I have to say, just tell me.  I'll leave you alone," I say, defeated.

Another crack of thunder tears through the city, but this time neither of us jumps.  We're locked in a battle of monumental proportions.  A battle of two wills that are so stubborn that no good can come out of it.

Aya is the first to break and look away.  She looks at her dirtied hands and wipes them on her skirt.  She then stands up and faces me squarely, looking back into my eyes.  She looks serious.  A bit like when she's on stage and she's just about to start a song that means a lot to her.

"I'm going to give you one shot to talk, and that's only because we've known each other for the amount of time we have.  I hate what you've done to me, Fujimoto Miki, and I'm not going to forgive you.  But if it'll clear some of the air between us, then by all means, talk.  And make it good."

I can't believe she's going to give me a chance to explain myself.  Not that I have anything to say beyond what I've already said, but at least there's hope.

"But let's get out of the rain because I'm highly uncomfortable," she says.

She turns away and starts to walk to the main street.  I follow quickly, wondering where we're going to go.

We walk like that the whole way.  Aya in front, me trailing behind, and no talking.  Just before we hit the main road, Aya turns around to me.

"I want us to be clear on something.  You are a liar and a terrible person.  I can't believe that I've been blind for however long you've been going around behind my back like that.  I'll never forget what you've done to me.  I'll never forgive you.  Never.  You disgust me.  Clear?"

I nod in shock, and when she turns around and starts to walk again, I clench my fist as more tears spill out my eyes.

I know that she means it.  No matter how many times I apologise and show her that I can be trusted, she'll never be able to forget this.  She'll hold it against me for the rest of her life, and if I should die before her, not even that will thaw out her heart and let her forgive me.

Well, there you go, Fujimoto.  You've gone and done it again.  Ruined a perfectly good thing.

You stupid screw-up.


The end.

[Estrea]

I find it deeply ironic that after reading this, while yes, I feel predictably heartwrenched, I also feel a lot better. Strange eh? I wonder if my protective mechanism just kicked in and I'm distancing myself from them somehow.

Miki's dilemma feels familiar to me somehow. I can definitely understand why she did what she did in your take on this news, because I strongly suspect that if I were in her shoes, I may end up doing the same thing as well. Odd, but then again, I've always identified more strongly with Miki than I do with Aya (well actually I identify with both of them, just in different aspects).

As for Aya, heck, if someone close to me like Miki is to her did this to me, I would react the same way. Walk out, cry, then harden my heart and hold the grudge for the rest of my life. I might forgive, but I never forget. Which equals never actually forgiving, isn't it?

I like what you did here, despite the terrible heartbreak. I feel cleansed. I think I shall find a new couple to obsess over. Good work OTN1! Love ya.

[JFC]

On the eve of a possibly no-good scandal, I present a "what if??" story in the key of Love x 2.

Inspiration can come from anywhere.

"I understand, sir.  No GAM stories because of that, um, what'shername-san.  Got it."

Okay, this whole part sorta confused me.  ???

Later that evening, I sit in a café.  It's storming outside, a sign of the rainy season that's just around the corner.

The owner and manager, Ochiai, comes out to welcome me after one of the regular servers goes to the back to inform her I've arrived, but she must see the look on my face because she settles for simply nodding her head at me and slipping back into the kitchen.

The same Ochiai-san from WNTBD? Interesting.

I remain still as the anger in me builds up.  I want to put on a perfect front of calmness because I have yet to find out any real information.

...

Miki has some sort of boyfriend?  It can't be.  Last I checked, she was swooning over me.  And I over her.  We were happy and making it work.

Damn Aya's pissed. More to the fact, she's hurt and scared at the possibility that this might be true.

"So, you and Shouji-san, huh?" I open up.

My voice comes out sounding far too bitter.  Far too sarcastic.  It's laced with poison that I didn't even know I was capable of producing in my own body.

Perhaps, but it reflects how she truly feels at the moment.

She looks up at me sharply.

"Tomo-kun is..."

Shit that's just painful to hear.

"The things that they're saying are, uh, kind of true."

That's even more painful.

Rain is getting in my eyes and irritating them.  It burns and I can't see clearly.  Too much rain.  Too much... rain?  No, it's not rain.  Those are tears.

I'm crying.  Crying very hard and very loudly.

It was bound to happen sooner or later, regardless of how much she wanted to maintain the look of being "civil" or "calm" about it.

I always think of it in English, but I took the title from this picture, which is in English.

The pic link doesn't work dude.

The thing that I know I did that was questionable was that I didn't tell Aya a thing.  When we went to bed and talked about what we did all day, I never mentioned that I met him for coffee.  I never mentioned that he and I exchanged long e-mails every day.

I'm guessing Miki probably didn't even realize that she was keeping Aya in the dark about this.  After all, it DID start innocently enough. At the time, it likely wouldn't have seemed like it would be worth the bother to tell her or something like that.

Then one day he invited me to go over to his apartment.  I went, and while he was showing me some of his paintings around the house, he suddenly turned around and kissed me.  My world was turned upside down because I really liked it.

Life throws you curveballs more often than you know. If Shouji is your typical dude, he had probably fallen for Miki (and seriously, who could blame him?) way before he actually drew up the nerve to do that.

Two things of interest to note.

One was that I kept it all a secret.  Aya didn't know about him, and he didn't know about Aya.  He never questioned the time I spent with her.  She never suspected that on the days I didn't spend the night with her, I was with him.

The second is that I was (and still am) massively in love with her.  But I like Tomo-kun, too.

The heart allows us to feel the greatest joys possible. However, it can also be a complicated bitch that inevitably can cause us to feel great pain.

Aya is like my safety net.  My security blanket.

...

But Tomoharu... He's new.  He's different.  He's funny.  He treats me in a silly way, but respects me like mad.  With him, I feel like a flirty high school girl.

...

How can I be in love with two people at the same time?  And two people who are opposites in every way imaginable!

Unfortunately, yes it IS possible. Part of what makes us fall in love are the differences we see in those we love, and yet we also can fall for those who know us better than we know ourselves. Here we have Miki, for whom some may say is getting the best of both worlds. She has two loves, one that is like her second half, the other like something that she never knew she could possibly have.  The only problem is, they're both tugging at/vying for her heart at the same time. And while we're wired so that's it's possible to be drawn to both, we just can't handle trying to have both at the same time.

I know that what I've done is wrong, and I know that I should have come forward and admitted to Aya what I was doing.  I should have gotten her forgiveness early on, forgotten about Tomo-kun before I really fell for him, and gone back to my happy life with her.

If only it was so easy to do so.

I don't care what happens to my job. 
...

I do care what happens to my personal relationships.

Jobs can be changed or replaced with something else. Personal relationships though, are a much more delicate thing and need to be taken care of.

If I was an optimist, I'd think that I could explain things to both of them and then choose one to stay with.  The one that was least pissed off with me.

That would be a really hard call to make. Aya's more hurt than she is pissed. As for Shouji, while he may be pissed that she kept that secret from him, he's still likely to be crazy enough about her that he'll want to work things out.

But I'm an realist (usually), and I think that neither of them are going to be too pleased with me.  If anything, though, Tomo-kun will be the lesser of the offended.

But I don't want to have to choose him.

That last part that she said there should be proof enough that she should be with Aya and not Shouji. To say that you "don't want to have to choose" him?  If you really do love someone there's no "have to choose" about it. You just know.

Not after seeing Aya in such a shocked state that all she could do was smile in the wake of such terrible and life-destroying news.  I feel like I have to dedicate the rest of my pathetic life to making it up to her.

Yet on the other side of the coin, this section makes it sound like picking Aya would be a "pity" or "guilt" choice. To choose based on that isn't healthy nor good either, because it isn't being made for the right reasons.

I've been selfish and idiotic.  I've thrown her away.  Nobody's hurt me.  This time I'm the one who has hurt the people I care about.  I don't deserve to cry and be pitied.

The thing is, she never meant for it to happen. It's not like she intentionally went and thought "I'm gonna date Shouji and I don't care if it hurts Aya".  If she's looking for someone to punish her for having a heart, she's doing a good job of it herself.

"If you were bored with me, you should've said something," she says, her tone angry, her face hurt.

Oh crap I'm trying not to cry here. (I'm got a class this period, and while they're busy doing thier work, it wouldn't look good for the teacher to be suddenly getting all misty-eyed). 

"I want us to be clear on something.  You are a liar and a terrible person.  I can't believe that I've been blind for however long you've been going around behind my back like that.  I'll never forget what you've done to me.  I'll never forgive you.  Never.  You disgust me.  Clear?"

This has got to be the worst thing that Aya could possibly say to Miki. However, given the circumstances, it's understandable and Aya is perfectly justified in saying it.  This is definitely going to be a big break, a big hurdle to overcome in their relationship.  Miki has a long way to climb to truly rebuild it and truly regain Aya's love and friendship.  Like Estrea said above, while forgiveness may be possible, it's impossible to ask that Aya forget about it.

[Amarghetta]

Oh, man. I found about the news through this fic, lol. I was a tad confused, wondering where this came from. Then I read about it, and disappointment filled me. Why? Why? How could you get caught?!? xD

Fangirlism aside, I must say it's pretty sadistic of you to come up with a fic right after these shocking news. But you know, I think you're turning me into a masochist somehow... Now I just want to read the boy toy's boyfriend's POV! *hides from rabid GAM fans*

But, maybe that's stretching it a little too much...

[rndmnwierd]

Wow, you pounced on this one pretty quick. Poor Aya and poor Miki.

[cheesesticks]

....YEAH! ANGST!!

i'll edit this later after i read.

edit: ........

Aya's pain is so real. Especially when she says "I want us to be clear on something.  You are a liar and a terrible person.  I can't believe that I've been blind for however long you've been going around behind my back like that.  I'll never forget what you've done to me.  I'll never forgive you.  Never.  You disgust me.  Clear?" it's so full of malice and pain. A little on the harsh side actually (I was a bit startled) but quite real.

You're quite a pro when it comes to full on angst. lol : D

[OTN1]

it's so full of malice and pain. A little on the harsh side actually (I was a bit startled) but quite real.

I finished writing Aya's POV without that sentence, but I felt like something was missing.  It needed a big kick to the stomach, so I added in the "you disgust me" part.  I'm glad it worked.

Okay, this whole part sorta confused me.  ???

I left it like that to see if anyone had a theory/could figure it out, but don't worry about it.  It'll be explained.

Oops, I completely forgot the whole "paste" step in "copy and paste" in my previous post.  This is the picture I ripped the title "Love x 2" from.

Yet on the other side of the coin, this section makes it sound like picking Aya would be a "pity" or "guilt" choice. To choose based on that isn't healthy nor good either, because it isn't being made for the right reasons.

Wow, I didn't think of this!  It's true.  Thanks for bringing that up.  I'll have to be careful.

(And on a side note: you read this stuff while teaching class?!  You're brave.)

Oh, man. I found about the news through this fic, lol. I was a tad confused, wondering where this came from.

Oh my!  I'm sorry about that.

Fangirlism aside, I must say it's pretty sadistic of you to come up with a fic right after these shocking news. But you know, I think you're turning me into a masochist somehow... Now I just want to read the boy toy's boyfriend's POV! *hides from rabid GAM fans*

Yes, incredibly sadistic, but about two minutes after I read the news, the wheels started turning in my head, and nothing could stop me.

I'm not planning to write Shouji's POV, but there is more to this story.  I'll type it up soon.

[OTN1]

Friday stories simply must involve as many points of view as possible.  This one will (I hope) explain the first chapter a little.  This is a character who first appeared in My Own Private Funeral and was later touched upon in What Needed to be Done.

Chapter Four
I have been asked before what my favourite pastime is, and I have always answered with the same answer: observing people.  Never in my thirty-nine years of life has this answer changed.

I have been asked before to reveal information about high-profile patrons that frequent my shop, and I have always answered in the same way: no.  That would be against all of my principles.

I have been asked before for advice, and I have always reacted in the same have: I have given the best advice I possibly can.  I consider it a duty.  A part of my job as the owner of a low-key café.  But I also carry a sense of obligation to the world and the people who live in my society.  It is my duty to know them and to help them.

I watch the news on television every morning.  I read four newspapers (one foreign, one local, and two national) every day, and I scour the internet for tidbits of information to help shape me further into a broad-minded individual.  I consider this also to be my duty, and it is because of this that I discovered a potentially volatile piece of information that would affect two of my most respected patrons.

By chance, I stumbled upon a gossip magazine website.  I tend to stay away from those as a rule.  The personal lives of celebrities as seen through the eyes of a stalker with a camera is not what I consider to be reliable insight into the characters of famous people.  However, a name caught my eye.  The name of my patron, Fujimoto Miki.

A three-day date with comedian Shouji Tomoharu was the main story being pushed, and I knew immediately that I had to do all in my power to quell the inevitable thirst for knowledge that would grip the public after reading such an article.

I therefore went straight to the top in order to deal with the situation.

But first, I feel I need to explain why I bothered to do such a thing.

Fujimoto Miki never comes to my establishment without Matsuura Aya.  They came together for the first time about a year and a half ago, and have since come together almost every week.  In the year and a half that I have been observing them, I have noticed certain details about their individual personalities.  I have gotten a fairly good impression of what they are like as people despite not having sat down and had heart-to-hearts with them.  I have also been able to note another aspect of them, which is in fact half of what I am interested in when watching people.

Before I go on, I have to mention briefly that there are two factors in my duty as Observer of The People.  One is individual character profiles.  In essence, what a person is like.  The other is just as interesting (if not more so), and that is relationships.  How people relate to one another.  Whether they get along or not, and the how and why of it.

Enter Fujimoto and Matsuura.

After the initial months passed, it became clear to me that they were much more than close friends.  It was my gut instinct after the first time I saw them together in my café, but I always take care to leave my final assessment open until I have gotten more than enough evidence.

It must be that my powers of observation are more finely-tuned than the average person's, but I think that Fujimoto and Matsuura are very loud about where they stand with each other.  It's all in the way they look at each other.  Their verbal communication - or sometimes their lack thereof - shows how in tune they are with one another.  I've watched their relationship grow over time.  It's been, all in all, a fascinating experience watching those two.

As I have said, my final assessment is that their relationship goes beyond close friendship.  I know that these girls share theirs minds, their bodies, and their hearts completely with one another.

Or so I was led to believe all this time.

With the discovery of that gossip magazine blurb, I came to realise that I, in my self-proclaimed mission to observe and figure out the people around me, had missed something enormous.  Rumour or not, this article could cause a potential storm, and I had a gut feeling that that was precisely what was about to happen.  I was sharp enough to know that Matsuura did not know anything about Shouji.  I knew that she would be upset.  Such is the relationship between my two patrons.  In my observations, I had never dreamed of the possibility that Fujimoto, the girl who, struck dumb with love, would stare unabashedly across the table at Matsuura, could be sneaking around in a man's apartment.  It was a humbling experience, and I was reminded that my observation skills were only so powerful. 

This leads me to my immediate action.

It was Thursday night at ten o'clock when I discovered the article on the internet after a particularly taxing day at work.  Paying no heed to the time, I picked up my phone and called my contact at one of the hubs of the entertainment magazine world, a powerful man who patronised my shop for five years before he moved to Osaka for business purposes.

Suzuki is one of the authorities that guide the sordid world of celebrity gossip and rumour.  He calls the shots almost entirely on his own, and it is he who determines what information we do and don't see in several big-name publications, as well as not just a handful of lesser weeklies.  In short, he's a very powerful man.

Our conversation was charged, I frantic, he uncompromising.

"Suzuki-san.  This is Ochiai," I greeted quietly after he picked up.

"Occhi!" he cried, using my old high school nickname that now only people from that era of my life call me  (Suzuki being the only exception, as I did not attend high school with him).  "How are you??"

We hadn't spoken in months.  Not since his last business trip to Tokyo.

"It's been too long, hasn't it?  I'm well.  How's your family?"

"They're doing well.  Ayako is finally in Kochi pursuing her dancing dream, and my wife is so glad that Kenji's started high school.  Now she has more time to herself in the evenings."

I laughed.

His wife is an interesting character.  I was glad to hear that she was no longer so stressed out.  High school keeps an active kid like Kenji busy and out of the house until late.  And the eldest daughter, Ayako, seems like a sweet and good-mannered girl that I would have loved to have met before she moved away.

"Suzuki-san, I have a favour to ask of you," I admitted immediately, a bit sorry to cut short our small talk.

"What is it, Occhi?"

I felt the atmosphere turn businesslike, my nickname being the only aspect of the conversation that fell outside the realm of professionalism.

"It's the headline involving Fujimoto Miki-san."

He sucked in a breath of air through his teeth.

"That's a big one.  Juicy stuff.  Big money."

Ever the businessman, Suzuki-san was.  Ever the businessman.

"I can't pull the article, if that's what you're asking.  It's written, bound, and waiting for delivery," he added quickly.

I shook my head.  I understood that.

"I don't want there to be a follow up," said I.

The silence penetrated my ears, and I clutched the phone in anticipation.  I was never a woman to demand things, but this time, I was adamant.  I needed to get my way.

"No can do," Suzuki said after a beat.  "There'll be more."

This was the point where our conflicting interests began their true battle.

"Fujimoto-san is a patron of mine, and an esteemed one at that.  I don't want her hurt.  I don't want this continued," I said firmly.

"Fujimoto-san has friends and family and co-workers, yes.  So does Nemoto-san, who was busted last week, and Sanada-san the week before.  These magazines tell their news and rumours without discrimination in that sense.  Everyone has lives and loved ones.  We can't treat anybody specially.  Otherwise, we'd have no news."

He was going to be a tough nut to crack.  I had to find a way to compromise.

It came to my mind almost instantly.  I had to at least protect Fujimoto and Matsuura's relationship from becoming a subject of public inquisition.  Being positive that Matsuura didn't know about Fujimoto's predicament, I could see that the poor, young soloist might become a target of the corrupting forces of the business and entertainment worlds, a lethal combination of ruthless extravagance.  They might target her ignorance and attempt to have her reveal that she and Fujimoto were not friends.  Knowing what pressure could do to a young mind, I felt the need to protect Matsuura from such a situation in the event that she might not be able to keep a level head about it and stumble over her words, saying something that would blow the Fujimoto-Shouji scandal out of the water and make the entire nation focus on the overshadowing Matsuura-Fujimoto scandal that would follow.

A wild, perhaps far-fetched idea, but certainly a possibility.  I would take no chances.

"Leave the GAM duo out of it, then.  Nobody is to publish a word about what Matsuura-san thinks about her own friendship with Fujimoto-san."

I did not ask.  I told.

Suzuki was obviously with me in being two steps ahead of the game, because I could sense in his pensive silence that he was considering the ramifications of skipping out on such a juicy scoop.

"And why not?" he asked.

He was a businessman, but deep down inside, he was a human like me.  I had to appeal to that sense of humanity.

"They're young girls.  They don't need to have their names smeared across magazines and their friendship open to public scrutiny.  Imagine if one of them was Ayako-chan."

Ayako had suddenly become a weapon for me to use against her own father, and as luck would have it, I knew that Ayako was indeed daddy's little girl.  Nobody in the world cared about that girl than the man I was currently tied up with on the phone.  I knew it, he knew it, and I won.

"No GAM stories.  This is for you because I owe you.  I consider us even now."

I had set out to win, but I had not actually thought I would win, especially not with such ease.

He spoke with a grudging respect.  I had somehow played my cards well and ended up at the top.  Suzuki appreciated a good round of will versus will.

"Thank you, Suzuki-san," I said quietly into the phone.

I knew I could trust him.

"You're an amazing fighter, Occhi," he laughed, and I heard a voice calling out to him.  "Oh, there's my son asking for help with math homework.  He doesn't seem to mind that it's past ten.  It was nice talking to you again."

We said our goodbyes, and we hung up as I sighed in relief at our amicable parting.

And that brings me to the here and now.  I'm sitting behind the scenes of my little business.  I just went out to greet Matsuura a minute ago, but I couldn't approach her.  The pain and hatred on her face was such that it hurt to look at, so I nodded quickly and ducked back into my safe haven.

I keep an eye out the door, and I see Fujimoto walk in.  I don't even have to look at her to know that she's nervous.  She sits down across from Matsuura, and they begin to talk.  There are more pauses than sentences.  I can see the anger in Matsuura's shoulders and the guilt in Miki's eyes.  I feel sorry for the both of them.  They're both kindred spirits.  Matsuura's feeling betrayed and Fujimoto's feeling guilty and confused.

I watch Matsuura get up with an impressive display of self-control, and she leaves.  Fujimoto sits and wallows in self-pity for a minute, and then jumps up to run after the anything-but-calm girl.

Good luck, I think as I walk out into the main room.

I've done what I can to protect them from further harm.  Now all I can do is sit, wait, and see if they can repair what they have between them.

Something at the door catches my eyes, and I sigh.

I've just inherited two more umbrellas.

[Mikan]

Bring on as many POVs as you want. I suppose its when you move onto inanimate objects I'll start worrying

[JFC]

You know what dude, I hate to say it, but I never really paid much attention to your choice of title for this fic (as well as for it's previous namesake). At the time, I figured it was just you being "a writer" .  But...I was on my way to class this morning, and the fact that you called it "FRIDAY'S Children are Full of Woe" just hit me like a ton of bricks (don't worry, I was at a stoplight at the time ). Particularly with the recent Miki incident..it all just made SO MUCH more sense.  Kudos dude, MAJOR kudos.

Yet on the other side of the coin, this section makes it sound like picking Aya would be a "pity" or "guilt" choice. To choose based on that isn't healthy nor good either, because it isn't being made for the right reasons.

Wow, I didn't think of this!  It's true.  Thanks for bringing that up.  I'll have to be careful.

No no no no no no, I didn't mean that in a bad way. I didn't mean you were making it look like Aya would be a "pity" choice. I was referring completely to Miki's motivations for choosing Aya, and that if she chooses her that it's because she's TRULY the one she wants to be with.

(And on a side note: you read this stuff while teaching class?!  You're brave.)

Nah, the kids see the "girly" banners at the tops of the page and think I'm looking at porn. Then they ask me how I'm able to bypass the school filters.

I'm not planning to write Shouji's POV, but there is more to this story.  I'll type it up soon.

Considering he has absolutely NO idea of the special relationship that Miki and Aya have, and the fact that you've sort of established that Miki hasn't really talked about Aya that much with him, his POV wouldn't really contain much except him gushing and pining for her.

This is a character who first appeared in My Own Private Funeral and was later touched upon in What Needed to be Done.

Ochiai-san POV? This should be very interesting.

I have been asked before to reveal information about high-profile patrons that frequent my shop, and I have always answered in the same way: no.  That would be against all of my principles.

Nice to see that there are still "people of principle" in the world.

It must be that my powers of observation are more finely-tuned than the average person's, but I think that Fujimoto and Matsuura are very loud about where they stand with each other.  It's all in the way they look at each other.  Their verbal communication - or sometimes their lack thereof - shows how in tune they are with one another.

See, most people who may not know them as well would probably just figure that they didn't have much to say to each other.  Ochiai-san has the intuition and, due to her experience as a shop owner and people observer, the ability to read people in more subtle ways than the average person.

As I have said, my final assessment is that their relationship goes beyond close friendship.  I know that these girls share theirs minds, their bodies, and their hearts completely with one another.

Or so I was led to believe all this time.

In some ways Ochiai-san probably knows them better than anyone else does other than Aya or Miki themselves. Seeing Miki getting FRIDAY'd must have really come out of left field for her.

It was a humbling experience, and I was reminded that my observation skills were only so powerful.

Even the best and/or most-skilled at what they do can't be perfect all the time.

Paying no heed to the time, I picked up my phone and called my contact at one of the hubs of the entertainment magazine world, a powerful man who patronised my shop for five years before he moved to Osaka for business purposes.

Suzuki is one of the authorities that guide the sordid world of celebrity gossip and rumour.  He calls the shots almost entirely on his own, and it is he who determines what information we do and don't see in several big-name publications, as well as not just a handful of lesser weeklies.  In short, he's a very powerful man.

...

"Suzuki-san.  This is Ochiai," I greeted quietly after he picked up.

"Occhi!" he cried, using my old high school nickname that now only people from that era of my life call me  (Suzuki being the only exception, as I did not attend high school with him).  "How are you??"

We hadn't spoken in months.  Not since his last business trip to Tokyo.

...

"Suzuki-san, I have a favour to ask of you," I admitted immediately, a bit sorry to cut short our small talk.

..

"It's the headline involving Fujimoto Miki-san."

...

"I can't pull the article, if that's what you're asking.  It's written, bound, and waiting for delivery," he added quickly.

Oh wow, she's going to bat for them. More importantly, she's doing it for the right reasons. She's not doing it to keep someone from getting fired or to keep a tour from being cancelled. She's doing it because she knows that not only will the article be a devastating blow to their friendship, but the insuing circus that would follow would completely destroy them.

"Fujimoto-san is a patron of mine, and an esteemed one at that.  I don't want her hurt.  I don't want this continued," I said firmly.

"Fujimoto-san has friends and family and co-workers, yes.  So does Nemoto-san, who was busted last week, and Sanada-san the week before.  These magazines tell their news and rumours without discrimination in that sense.  Everyone has lives and loved ones.  We can't treat anybody specially.  Otherwise, we'd have no news."

He's right, as much as others may feel that he isn't. These magazines don't publish these types of articles with the intent of messing up careers and causing scandals. They're doing it to sell magazines. It's how they pay their bills. It's their job, after all.  Actors act, teachers teach, singers sing, dancers dance, and magazines publish news articles.  It's never about being personal. As much as it sounds like an excuse or cliché and as much as it sucks, it's "just business".

"They're young girls.  They don't need to have their names smeared across magazines and their friendship open to public scrutiny.  Imagine if one of them was Ayako-chan."

Damn, the trump card has been pulled. Bravo Ochiai-san!

I've done what I can to protect them from further harm.  Now all I can do is sit, wait, and see if they can repair what they have between them.

She's like thier secret guardian angel, she is.  And she's right, she's done her part, now the rest is up to Aya and Miki. 

Like I said previously, it's nice to know that there are still "people of principle" here in the world.


This was a GREAT chapter dude. Just...great.

[rndmnwierd]

Go Occhi power!

Something at the door catches my eyes, and I sigh.

I've just inherited two more umbrellas.

I giggled.

[OTN1]

rndmnwierd, hahaha, there was no other way to end the story but that way.  I'm glad you had that reaction.

You know what dude, I hate to say it, but I never really paid much attention to your choice of title for this fic (as well as for it's previous namesake). At the time, I figured it was just you being "a writer" .  But...I was on my way to class this morning, and the fact that you called it "FRIDAY'S Children are Full of Woe" just hit me like a ton of bricks (don't worry, I was at a stoplight at the time ). Particularly with the recent Miki incident..it all just made SO MUCH more sense. 

  Hahaha, I'm glad it hit you.  When I made the original story, I thought I'd just modify the nursery rhyme so that I could have in the title the name of the magazine that started of the story.  When I came to write this one, it simply had to have a modified Friday sub-title.

No no no no no no, I didn't mean that in a bad way. I didn't mean you were making it look like Aya would be a "pity" choice. I was referring completely to Miki's motivations for choosing Aya, and that if she chooses her that it's because she's TRULY the one she wants to be with.

No, I understood what you said and I didn't take it in a bad way.  I think my reply was a little messed up.   I didn't really mean "careful".  I was just surprised that I was the one who wrote it and yet I never thought of that interpretation (which, on the other hand, might make me sound stuck up and as if I have to know every possible interpretation, which I don't really).  ANYWAY, good point, JFC.   I think we can all agree on that.

Ochiai, the secret guardian angel?  I like that.  It's sweet.

[ChiruChaCha]

When I made the original story, I thought I'd just modify the nursery rhyme so that I could have in the title the name of the magazine that started of the story.  When I came to write this one, it simply had to have a modified Friday sub-title.

THANKS GOD you explained that xD

[OTN1]

I don't know where this came from and if I will actually write more, but it's a kind of continuation to this thread's story.  If I can't get ideas for "Restart", at least I can write other stories.

Prelude

I stare at the old, dog-eared photograph in my hand.  I haven't looked at it in a long time.  Years, I believe.  It's the same as I remember it.  Maybe a little gloomier.
No, that's probably just my mood at the moment.

It's been about ten years, I think, addressing the subject of the picture in my mind.  Ten years since we last spoke to each other.

I sigh and put the photo back in the folder I keep it stored in, burying it in the back of the drawer with the small pile of things to which I've attached the invisible and fitting label of "memories".

I sit and wonder what she's doing now.  I look at my watch.  Probably still at the post office.  There was a long line up and she was near the back of it when I saw her.

When I saw her.  I saw her just now.  Not twenty minutes ago.  At the post office near my new apartment complex.  After ten years.  She has no way of knowing I live in this neighbourhood now, so her visit must have been unplanned.  It couldn't have possibly been an attempt to make herself seen by me.  To rub in my face what we've lost.  No.  What I've lost.

I wonder what she does these days.  She quit the business a few years after we stopped talking.  The reason she gave to the public and her fans was that she wanted to concentrate on her life and starting a family.  Now whenever her name comes up in the news, it's a sighting of her with a man or with a child, and there is no lack of fervent speculation as to what it all means.  She's done an excellent job avoiding the press and prying eyes.  Nobody really knows what her situation is.  Is she married?  Does she have a child?  What does she do for a living?

She's a mystery and will remain a mystery to the end.  Even to me.  I used to be the closest thing to her.  Closer to her than her own skin.  But that all changed.  Mistakes were made and there was no returning to a normal life after that.

The way in which she got angry at me... It still chills my blood to think about it.  To see the look on her face when she sat me down in that café and asked me to tell her the truth.  The way she cried and yelled later in the rain.  And then it was like a light switch was turned off, and she became a blank piece of paper to me.  She shut me out completely and didn't let me know what she was thinking.  We went somewhere to talk - another café - and I explained things to her, and she sat there, not protesting, not crying, not giving me dirty looks.  When I was done, she said that she didn't want to talk to me ever again, and she said it in the calmest voice I've ever heard her use.  Then she stood up and left, leaving me to pay the bill.

Of course that wasn't the last time we talked.  Work called for us to talk.  But just barely.

I got kicked out of Hellopro for having a boyfriend for ten months while I'd had Aya for two years, but not before some super-tense meetings.  Aya was at some of them, and we had to be civil to one another.  Being in the Project hadn't taught us nothing.  We were good actors when we needed to be, and so we used that skill around each other.

I got chewed out by various authorities, and even Tsunku expressed his concern.

What a hypocrite.  He was always telling me he wanted me to be happy.  When he told me he was going to allow me and Aya to work together, he said it was to make us happy.  And then when I was photographed and stuck in a magazine without my permission, he got angry and told me I should be more serious, take responsibility, and not hurt those around me.

Come to think of it, maybe he knew about Aya and me.  Maybe he got defensive because he always liked her better.  That was no secret.  Aya could do no wrong in his eyes.  She was the perfect example of how he wanted his students to turn out.  I never had a problem with this, even though it left me with an inferior position as the slightly off-kilter sister who was just one point shy of matching the star.  I honestly didn't care what he thought.  All I cared about was what I thought and what Aya thought.  But if his adoration for that girl was the reason why he was so strict with my punishment, then I had to raise the "it's not fair" flag.  He probably couldn't stand to see her heart broken, and so he took revenge in her place.  He dealt me the ultimate blow.  He cut me from the roster.  He fired me.

And one of these days, I'm going to have to stop being so paranoid.  Tsunku probably didn't know about me and Aya, and even if he did, he was too much in love with money to bother with petty revenge.  The truth was that he saw that I was no longer of financial use to the Project, and so he cut me loose.

I drifted around after that trying to find work.  I found some here and there.  It seems like I still had marketable potential.  But the big companies I could have gone to didn't want me.  I wasn't fresh meat.  People knew my name, and I already had a reputation.  They preferred introducing new talent to an unsuspecting audience, not re-using other companies' leftovers.

So now I work for a magazine.  I'm not even sure what my official job description is, but it keeps me busy and amused.  Of all the people to work for, I work for Michishige Sayumi.  At first I refused to work for her, but when I couldn't find anything better, I figured I could just treat her the same as I always did and I could get away with it because we were old comrades who worked side-by-side on a battlefield long ago.

I was pretty much right.  Shige lets me trample all over her playfully, and she keeps telling me she's the cutest thing on Earth.  She certainly is cute, but I'm never going to admit to her that I agree with her.  She never uses her position as owner of the magazine to force me into submission.  She listens to my suggestions and lets me speak honestly with no holds barred.  I guess my job description could be aptly put as "Boss' Right Hand Man".  Not her secretary.  I have a lot of say in what goes into our weekly publication.  I attend meetings and meet high-profile people.  I make big decisions all on my own.  I only make tea for myself (and sometimes Shige if it's cold out and I feel sorry for her).  Not bad for a girl who only finished high school.

I work all day, but when I come home, I revert to an unprofessional me.  I sit around, read, listen to music, eat, and do normal things just like everyone else does.

Unlike today.  Today I took the day off.  This morning I went shopping and then to the post office.   That's how I was happened to see her.  I got home at twelve-fifteen and am now sitting here.  I haven't prepared anything for lunch yet, although I know I should.  Instead, I'm sitting on my bed looking at a picture of a girl I knew ten years ago.  A girl I haven't seen in all those ten years.  A girl who I keep trying to forget about.  There have been things that have helped me erase those memories, but every once in a while there's something that reminds me.

I sigh.  The front door opens and I wince.  I should have gotten something for lunch. 

"I'm home," says a voice.

I smile.  This is probably my favourite thing.  Those rare days meet up at home for lunch on a week day.  It happens maybe once every year if we're lucky.  I lean back and wait.  I hear soft footsteps come towards me and I look up.

"Welcome back," I say, opening my arms for a hug.

I'm smothered with a good one, and I hold on tightly, trying to get the bad taste out of my mind.  Trying to forget about seeing Aya.  It's just a moment that I know will pass, but I want it to pass quickly.

"You're uncharacteristically affectionate today, Micchan."

I laugh.

"I missed you."

"Made anything for lunch?"

I scowl.

"What am I?  Your personal chef?"

I expect nobody to expect anything from me.

"Don't get angry.  You know I don't mean it."

Good save.  I like our playfulness.

"Let's go out," I suggest.

"Where?"

I think.

"Anywhere away from the post office," I mutter without meaning to.

"Eh?  Why?"

I take a long look at the man who has sat down beside me.  He doesn't have any idea about that chapter of my life.  I'd like to keep it that way.  Nobody should know.

I delay my answer to him.

What would my life be if he hadn't come to Tokyo?  He's an old friend from school.  One of the ones I left when I moved down here.  Everyone always thought we'd end up together.  I delighted in proving them wrong for a few years, but it turns out they were right.  He happened to come to school and then find work here, and somehow we picked up our friendship where it was left off when we were teenagers.  Our friendship had always carried that potential to someday become something more.  We were given the chance.

But why?  Why did we have that chance?  Because I messed up what I was really supposed to have.  But I've resigned myself to settling for second best.  Although I hope Hiroshi never finds that out.

"Because there's a good Korean restaurant in the opposite direction," I quip, jumping up and grabbing Hiroshi's hand to pull him up.  "Let's go."

As I pull him after me, I wonder what the near future will hold for me.  Somehow I believe that seeing Aya at the post office can't have been a coincidence.  It must be a sign.  One of those signs that I don't believe in, but a sign nonetheless.  A prelude to a dramatic three-act play that will unfold in my life and rock the steady boat that I sit relatively comfortably on.  I make a mental note to have my proverbial umbrella ready for the downpour.

[Amarghetta]

I don't know where this came from and if I will actually write more, but it's a kind of continuation to this thread's story.  If I can't get ideas for "Restart", at least I can write other stories.

Ah, there you go again, saying you don't know what you're doing or what's going to happen with a certain plotline, right before dropping yet another awesome, angsty vignette upon us. That's malevolence, you know. (j/k) 


Anyhow, you brought Shige-chan back, yay! Believe it or not, I was starting to miss her. I'm not particularly fond of her, but she's fine when you look past the narcissism.

You also brought Hiroshi back, and after thinking of pros and cons, I guess he's a good second best. Hahaha!

Maybe Aya coming back into Miki's life really is a sign, but not many are willing to risk their stability over something like that. Besides, Miki's older now (in the fic), hopefully more mature, and probably not so impulsive anymore. Age does marvelous (or horrific) things to people's disposition, and she wouldn't be an exception.

In any case, I'd say this is neither a happy nor a sad ending, just realistic. So, kudos for that.