I'm back! And I was right, it took about 2 hours thereabouts.
Thanks everyone for reading! I'm very honored. And kyaaa! rndmnwierd is reading my story! *proud* Lol, I'm glad for every single reader here.
Well, without further ado, here's the 2nd part. I mixed in both Aya and Miki's POVs actually, but this is more Aya-centered frankly, as promised. ^__^
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"I want the two to break off this...relationship you have now. I don't want something like this to be made public. It's bad for your careers, AND you do not want to isolate half your fanbase by hooking up with each other. Do you understand?" He paused and looked sternly at the two ashen-faced girls in front of him. "Let's put it this way. Stop now, and I'll let you keep your careers. Refuse..." His eyes narrowed, giving no doubt to the girls as to the severity of his meaning. Under the table, their interlaced hands closed in painfully on each other...And that was the beginning of the end. They had tried, really. Before that ultimatum, they had tried to plead their case, saying that their fans wouldn't mind. They even tried begging the stony-faced Tsunku, but to no avail. No, he was adamant. He could, and would, separate them by force. Not by letting either of them leave, that's for sure, since the two were both too popular in their own right to be booted out of the agency. But he could certainly split their duo up, and keep Ayaya busy by cramming more things into her solo career just to keep her away from Miki.
In fact, his final ultimatum was offered as some sort of a "compromise", that as long as their relationship stayed as "best friends" and nothing more, he would let things stay at status quo. No questions asked. There was just simply no way, however, that he would let them be acknowledged as an official couple. It would alienate some of the fans who had strong opinions about such things. No, it was simply best that their relationship stayed at their current level, close but not lovers, on one part to satisfy the morality of some fans, but close enough that it sent the other section of the fans into hormonal frenzies. It was a perfect state, and one he intended to preserve for as long as he could to milk the popularity out of it.
Aya understood Tsunku's logic perfectly, on some level. She never hated his guts more than at that moment, but she understood what he was talking about. She was a professional, she had been in the business for long enough to see the uglier side of it. It was brutally practical, engineered solely for the benefit of the company. They might be singers, idols to the masses, but at the end they were still part of the company.
Tools... She thought bitterly, more harshly than her image ever implied. She didn't have the energy to be cute at the moment.
It had been all she could do to keep a neutral expression after that meeting, as she and Miki stepped out into the hallway. Miki had been so pale that her natural tan seemed to be a pathetic shadow of its usual healthy state, and her facial expression was contorted in a way that would send the younger members running screaming bloody blue murder in the other direction. Which it did, in fact. Aya felt a moment of sympathy for the kids, since they didn't really deserve it.
Miki had wanted to fight for their right to date, even to the end. She was all about ready to declare her resignation from H!P itself, but one look at Aya's hesitant expression had stayed her tongue. Aya felt like dirt at that moment. Why couldn't she be braver, like Miki?
Coward...useless coward... Her heart constricted painfully in her chest. She had been selfish. She wanted to be with Miki, but she had also wanted to keep her career. Despite everything, she adored her job, adored being loved by her fans, loved the rush of performing. She couldn't let it go as easily or willingly as Miki would have done for her in a heartbeat. It made her feel unworthy of Miki's love.
Miki had been angry that she accepted the deal, but loved her too much to contradict her. She did not, however, control her obvious displeasure with the smug Tsunku in front of them. Aya estimated that it would take at least a week for that bruise to fade away completely.
Miki's temper had boiled over when they reached her room, and it had seemed at first that their last day together as a couple would end in acrimony. Yet, behind the anger and raised voice, Aya had seen clearly one very important thing: her Mikitan was scared. Frightened out of her wits. Terrified of losing her. Fearing that it would never be the same.
To tell the truth, she felt the same way. Would Miki ever be able to forgive her for her selfishness? Could they even
stay as friends after this? Would she lose her Tan forever? Aya was petrified by the mere hint of that last thought. No, no matter what, even if they couldn't be lovers, she couldn't let go of Miki. Not now, not ever.
...yes, it was selfish. She knew it only too well.
Narcissistic, so she had been accused before. It was more than pure selfishness that she wanted to be with Miki forever though. Aya wasn't sure how and when it had happened, but Miki had insinuated herself so much, so thoroughly, into her life that she could not imagine the other girl not being there. The very idea of being separate from her, at least emotionally, since they were used to being separated physically for their respective jobs, was a nightmare to Aya. She didn't think she could survive it, and she wasn't trying to be dramatic by exaggerating it. Her heart was full of her Mikitan, and if Miki rejected her...her heart would be crushed. Nothing left.
She had silenced the raging Miki with a searing kiss that time. If they had only one day, one night, left together, there was no way they were going to spend it in anger and recrimination, at least not if Aya was going to help it. If this was going to be the last time they were going to be able to do this, she was damn well going to make sure that Miki remembered every single bloody moment of it. It would have been easier, perhaps, if they had parted amicably, but that option simply wasn't available at that moment. It was either in anger, which would screw up their working relationship, or
this way, which would in the long term probably make it more painful whenever they were close...which would probably be often because of their GAM partnership. Either way, whatever route available would probably screw up their already messed up relationship, so Aya had rather pick the more pleasurable one.
Miki had been taken offguard, and even rendered rather indignant that her outburst had been interrupted, but Aya had given no quarter and said the one thing that she knew would tame the angry beast in front of her.
"I don't want to fight. Can't we just make the most of the time we have now?" And then killer line.
"I love you Tan. That will never change. Don't you ever forget that."And that pretty much sank the good ship Fujimoto. That and the fact that Aya's hands were already busy undressing her (with a certain degree of skill born of practice) made Miki too distracted to continue being angry with the girl she loved so much. Actually, she had already been running out of steam, since it was just too difficult to stay angry with Aya, especially knowing exactly why Aya had been hesitant about quitting H!P altogether. She didn't like it, but she understood. It came with the whole best-friends-turned-lovers instinct. Damnit.
Aya had found herself strangely aggressive at that moment. Maybe it was her fear of losing Miki altogether that had been fuelling her initiative, but she had simply taken the lead unquestioningly and didn't even allow Miki a chance to return the favor. More likely though, she simply wanted to memorise every single inch of her beloved's body, although it wasn't as if she hadn't already committed it to memory after all those times before.
She took...everything. There was no other way to describe it. She took...and she gave. She gave everything at the same time. With every kiss, every touch, every penetrating gaze, she desperately wanted to convey how much she cared, how much she loved, how much she never wanted to let go. How she had wanted the moment to freeze and stop, for them to be together like this forever. Her desperation, her love, shone through like a beacon that Miki could not possibly have failed to notice, but she doubted herself all the same. It could never be enough. There was no way she could express it clearly enough, the depth of how much she simply
cared.
She savored the expression's on Miki's face, the breathy moans as she ministered to her lover more fervently than she had ever done before.
Mine. The ferocity behind that fleeting thought had shocked even Aya herself, the depth of her possessiveness surprising, yet not. Yes, this was a side of Miki that no one else ever saw. It was only reserved for her and her alone. She would probably kill anyone who tried to get near her Tan that way, she realised with a jolt, her eyes flaring almost dangerously at that point. Miki, even through her haze of pleasure, had been a bit unnerved by the sheer implacability of her Aya-chan.
"Ne...kowaii yo..." Her Tan's voice had wavered almost uncharacteristically at that point. Aya's strange surge of dominance didn't seem to show any signs of slowing down anytime soon, and soon Miki was torn between asking her to stop and begging her to continue.
"Mou...yamete..." The weak protest barely registered, and in any case, the way Miki's body was responding pretty much betrayed her own words.
"One more time...one more time..." She had whispered over and over again to her Mikitan. There could never be enough times. Not until Miki had pretty damn near passed out from exhaustion, only then had she stopped. Leaning over the peacefully curled up Miki who clung to her like a koala, she planted a soft kiss on the older girl's cheek, her lips lingering longer than she had intended, even as she tasted the salty brine of her own tears falling onto the soft skin of her beloved.
She had left not long after that, and now here she was, collapsed at the inside of the entrance to her own apartment. She had barely been able to stagger home, and only managed to hold everything in until she had gotten inside her apartment and closed the door. There she had slumped down, her legs finally giving way as the sheer weight of everything set in.
It was all too much. Knowing that from tomorrow, well, later today, onwards, she couldn't be with Tan
that way anymore. She couldn't deal with it, felt as if she was going to break from the inside from the pressure that was mounting inside.
What have I done? Her mind cried out in horror.
What have I agreed to? In her pain, her desperation, her confusion, there was only one thing certain that was left in her mind. Without even thinking, she started to repeat it, all unconscious of her own actions as she rocked back and forth while hugging her knees to herself.
"I love you Tan...I love you so much..."
Somewhere off in the distance, the object of her thoughts was whispering much the same thing. All unknowing, they were echoing each other, even when apart.
"I love you so much."Forever and always...============
Clearly, I'm evil. That was both embarrassing (at the intimate parts) and painful (everywhere else) to write. And tiring. I really should be sleeping. Haha. But I decided I had to get this done before the inspiration leaves me.
And mini author rant before I go. About the part where Aya couldn't ditch her career where Miki would have been willing to, well, that was just a gut feeling on my part. I also wanted to explain why Miki didn't try to force Aya to her way of thinking and just quit. That's because Miki knows how much Aya loves her job, and even if it hurts her, she wants to see Aya happy. Besides, even if Miki had succeeded in making Aya quit with her and they go off together, Miki knows that some part of Aya would never be happy about that fact, making her "victory" over Aya completely pointless. Loving someone means not wanting them to be hurt in any way, and Miki loves her Aya-chan too much to that to her.
But of course, that doesn't mean that Aya loves Miki any less. She just doesn't want to have to choose, and Miki didn't want to force her to choose. To cut to the chase though, both of them love each other very deeply, and it's all Tsunku's fault, as usual. Hit him, not them!
Ok, I'm really tired. My eyes feel sandpapery. Hope you guys liked this part.