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Author Topic: The Last Night  (Read 4554 times)

Offline Estrea

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The Last Night
« on: March 06, 2007, 02:40:55 PM »
o_o First fic posted here. My only second ever time writing a celeb fanfic (the first being one on BoA...XD). Well to cut the ramble short, angst ahead. You have been warned. Oh, and this should be a one shot I think...there might be a second part, but I dunno...well, enjoy.
----


Moonlight filtered in through wispy curtains, casting rippling shadows on the lone figure curled under silken sheets. The heat in the room had already begun to dissipate, the heavy scent in the air seeping out little by little, leaving nothing but the cold air of the winter night.

Cold... The small figure in the bed curled in further into herself, the fingers of one hand digging unconsciously into the sheets next to her, feeling for an instant, the fading sense of a phantom warmth on the half of the bed that she wasn't on.

Gone... Her other hand, tucked close to her chest, clenched painfully in on itself, her nails cutting into the soft flesh of her palm, drawing a faint trickle of blood. It would leave ugly red welts that would arouse suspicion should anyone else see it at work tomorrow, but she didn't care. Did it matter?

This is the last night... Remembered that soft voice caressing her ear even as warm lips trailed down on from there...and further. Felt again, almost achingly real, the sensation of cold fingers running down the heated skin of her stomach, drawing a startled gasp from her at that time. Recalled being pushed quite quickly down onto this selfsame bed, kissing, touching...everywhere. She didn't even have a chance to retaliate; this is time, it had been her on the receiving end, the whole time.

I want you to remember tonight...always. That desperate pant, that plea within those eyes she loved. She had surrendered everything then, all control handed over to her beautiful lover. She could never refuse those eyes. Not tonight, not any time soon.

Remember me... That was what it felt like, every ragged breath drawn, every heated touch, the feel of a skilled tongue leaving wet trails down her body. It was as if the whole purpose was to mark her, leave an indelible mark on her mind, soul and body, so that even years from now, she would remember this night. Remember how it felt to have two bodies entwined together as one, as if they were two halves of a whole, no longer separate entities. She would remember, as her lover had promised.

It's the last time...never again... Her own mind cried out at this, stabbing pains attacking her heart, it seemed. There was too much at stake. Neither of them could be caught doing this again. Or being together that way anymore. It had been an ultimatum delivered to them: stop, or lose everything. There had been no way out, at least none that either of them could see.

We'll meet again tomorrow...as friends. It was too much, even in the silence of her own thoughts. That simple state, friendship, was not going to be enough. Not after everything that had happened. She couldn't get enough with just friendship. She needed more.

I want to forget you... But she couldn't. She didn't want to. Because she loved too much to let go. And that night...how could anyone forget something like that? It was as if her lover had been desperate not to let her forget that they had ever been. It would probably have been so much easier if they could forget, but love was selfish. Both of them didn't want to let go in the least, and marked the other, soul to soul, even as their lips whispered that it was the last time ever, the last of the last, that tomorrow, they would only be meeting as friends. Nothing more.

I miss you already...I want you next to me... She buried her face in the pillows, trying desperately to stop the building pressure in her nose and throat, and that burning sensation in her eyes. That wasn't the best move though, since their mingled scent was stubbornly clinging to everything on her bed. That warmth, that familiar scent...

I love you so much... She pulled the crumpled sheets closer around herself, enveloping that comforting presence of their mingled scents together. Her lips moved to familiar syllables.

Aya-chan...

For the first time that night, Fujimoto Miki wept, the sound of her sobs going unheard in a cold and empty room.

------------------


Don't kill me!!! *hides in underground bunker* I feel bad for doing this to Miki too... :cry: But the idea had come to me after watching the LU LU LU pv. That and the translated lyrics gave me very evil images. I might write a second part from Ayaya's point of view...dunno, I'll see if I have the inspiration. Hmm.

So, tell me what you think people! :)

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline OTN1

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The Last Night
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2007, 03:04:07 PM »
Bravo.

The angst made me grit my teeth, roll my eyes, bash my head against the heater, and pray that the strong winds outside blew a tree through my window and impaled my computer in a violent and explosive way.

I can't think of a better compliment to give.  Coming from me, that is a top-of-the-line compliment for a top-of-the-line story.

Offline Amarghetta

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The Last Night
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2007, 04:19:07 PM »
Somehow I knew it was Miki... Good story, btw. Angsty enough to feel real. ;)

Offline Seagull

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The Last Night
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2007, 04:42:00 PM »
OMG SO GOOD *cries a little :cry:

Oh my god the Angsty, the Angsty
This is really really good, so I would be happy if you could write one from Aya's POV and WRITE MORE GAM FICS, because you are really good at writing :D

Offline Estrea

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The Last Night
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2007, 04:59:50 PM »
Yay people actually liked this! *feels immensely better* ^___^

OTN1: Wow I'm so glad you called it "top of the line"! *feels flattered* I tried my best to convey the scene in my head into words, and I'm glad you felt that it was good. :)

Amarghetta: Was it that obvious that it was Miki? Lol. Thanks for reading btw. :)

shunjunsweden: Angst FTW. XD *feels evil* Um yeah, I suddenly had an image of how the Aya POV would be like. So I'm going to go work on it now. ^__^ More GAM fics? Hmm, I'm a bit shy about posting here still, and I'm still sorta new to the whole H!P thing, so... *ponders* Glad you liked this though!

Welps, I'm glad that the angst was well received, or as well received as angst can ever be. Hehe. Well, time to spend the next two or three hours on writing Aya's part. I'm a bit slow (and perfectionist) about writing...haha...wait for it!

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline Amarghetta

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The Last Night
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2007, 05:16:47 PM »
Quote from: Estrea;323416

Amarghetta: Was it that obvious that it was Miki? Lol. Thanks for reading btw. :)


No, it was just a gut feeling. :p
At some parts it could fit Aya as well.

Keep it coming, I'll certainly read it. *waits patiently for an update*

Offline coachie

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The Last Night
« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2007, 05:58:46 PM »
I love GAM, I love angst, I love your writing :heart:

That was so heartwrenchingly beautiful, nearly brought me to tears. I thought it was Aya til the end, but I don't know why. Now I can't wait to  read Aya's POV.

Offline rndmnwierd

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The Last Night
« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2007, 06:31:24 PM »
Wow, I'm speechless. *applause*

Offline Estrea

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The Last Night
« Reply #8 on: March 06, 2007, 07:04:50 PM »
I'm back! And I was right, it took about 2 hours thereabouts. XD

Thanks everyone for reading! I'm very honored. And kyaaa! rndmnwierd is reading my story! *proud* Lol, I'm glad for every single reader here. XD

Well, without further ado, here's the 2nd part. I mixed in both Aya and Miki's POVs actually, but this is more Aya-centered frankly, as promised. ^__^
======

"I want the two to break off this...relationship you have now. I don't want something like this to be made public. It's bad for your careers, AND you do not want to isolate half your fanbase by hooking up with each other. Do you understand?" He paused and looked sternly at the two ashen-faced girls in front of him. "Let's put it this way. Stop now, and I'll let you keep your careers. Refuse..." His eyes narrowed, giving no doubt to the girls as to the severity of his meaning. Under the table, their interlaced hands closed in painfully on each other...

And that was the beginning of the end. They had tried, really. Before that ultimatum, they had tried to plead their case, saying that their fans wouldn't mind. They even tried begging the stony-faced Tsunku, but to no avail. No, he was adamant. He could, and would, separate them by force. Not by letting either of them leave, that's for sure, since the two were both too popular in their own right to be booted out of the agency. But he could certainly split their duo up, and keep Ayaya busy by cramming more things into her solo career just to keep her away from Miki.

In fact, his final ultimatum was offered as some sort of a "compromise", that as long as their relationship stayed as "best friends" and nothing more, he would let things stay at status quo. No questions asked. There was just simply no way, however, that he would let them be acknowledged as an official couple. It would alienate some of the fans who had strong opinions about such things. No, it was simply best that their relationship stayed at their current level, close but not lovers, on one part to satisfy the morality of some fans, but close enough that it sent the other section of the fans into hormonal frenzies. It was a perfect state, and one he intended to preserve for as long as he could to milk the popularity out of it.

Aya understood Tsunku's logic perfectly, on some level. She never hated his guts more than at that moment, but she understood what he was talking about. She was a professional, she had been in the business for long enough to see the uglier side of it. It was brutally practical, engineered solely for the benefit of the company. They might be singers, idols to the masses, but at the end they were still part of the company. Tools... She thought bitterly, more harshly than her image ever implied. She didn't have the energy to be cute at the moment.

It had been all she could do to keep a neutral expression after that meeting, as she and Miki stepped out into the hallway. Miki had been so pale that her natural tan seemed to be a pathetic shadow of its usual healthy state, and her facial expression was contorted in a way that would send the younger members running screaming bloody blue murder in the other direction. Which it did, in fact. Aya felt a moment of sympathy for the kids, since they didn't really deserve it.

Miki had wanted to fight for their right to date, even to the end. She was all about ready to declare her resignation from H!P itself, but one look at Aya's hesitant expression had stayed her tongue. Aya felt like dirt at that moment. Why couldn't she be braver, like Miki?

Coward...useless coward... Her heart constricted painfully in her chest. She had been selfish. She wanted to be with Miki, but she had also wanted to keep her career. Despite everything, she adored her job, adored being loved by her fans, loved the rush of performing. She couldn't let it go as easily or willingly as Miki would have done for her in a heartbeat. It made her feel unworthy of Miki's love.

Miki had been angry that she accepted the deal, but loved her too much to contradict her. She did not, however, control her obvious displeasure with the smug Tsunku in front of them. Aya estimated that it would take at least a week for that bruise to fade away completely.

Miki's temper had boiled over when they reached her room, and it had seemed at first that their last day together as a couple would end in acrimony. Yet, behind the anger and raised voice, Aya had seen clearly one very important thing: her Mikitan was scared. Frightened out of her wits. Terrified of losing her. Fearing that it would never be the same.

To tell the truth, she felt the same way. Would Miki ever be able to forgive her for her selfishness? Could they even stay as friends after this? Would she lose her Tan forever? Aya was petrified by the mere hint of that last thought. No, no matter what, even if they couldn't be lovers, she couldn't let go of Miki. Not now, not ever.

...yes, it was selfish. She knew it only too well. Narcissistic, so she had been accused before. It was more than pure selfishness that she wanted to be with Miki forever though. Aya wasn't sure how and when it had happened, but Miki had insinuated herself so much, so thoroughly, into her life that she could not imagine the other girl not being there. The very idea of being separate from her, at least emotionally, since they were used to being separated physically for their respective jobs, was a nightmare to Aya. She didn't think she could survive it, and she wasn't trying to be dramatic by exaggerating it. Her heart was full of her Mikitan, and if Miki rejected her...her heart would be crushed. Nothing left.

She had silenced the raging Miki with a searing kiss that time. If they had only one day, one night, left together, there was no way they were going to spend it in anger and recrimination, at least not if Aya was going to help it. If this was going to be the last time they were going to be able to do this, she was damn well going to make sure that Miki remembered every single bloody moment of it. It would have been easier, perhaps, if they had parted amicably, but that option simply wasn't available at that moment. It was either in anger, which would screw up their working relationship, or this way, which would in the long term probably make it more painful whenever they were close...which would probably be often because of their GAM partnership. Either way, whatever route available would probably screw up their already messed up relationship, so Aya had rather pick the more pleasurable one.

Miki had been taken offguard, and even rendered rather indignant that her outburst had been interrupted, but Aya had given no quarter and said the one thing that she knew would tame the angry beast in front of her.

"I don't want to fight. Can't we just make the most of the time we have now?" And then killer line. "I love you Tan. That will never change. Don't you ever forget that."

And that pretty much sank the good ship Fujimoto. That and the fact that Aya's hands were already busy undressing her (with a certain degree of skill born of practice) made Miki too distracted to continue being angry with the girl she loved so much. Actually, she had already been running out of steam, since it was just too difficult to stay angry with Aya, especially knowing exactly why Aya had been hesitant about quitting H!P altogether. She didn't like it, but she understood. It came with the whole best-friends-turned-lovers instinct. Damnit.

Aya had found herself strangely aggressive at that moment. Maybe it was her fear of losing Miki altogether that had been fuelling her initiative, but she had simply taken the lead unquestioningly and didn't even allow Miki a chance to return the favor. More likely though, she simply wanted to memorise every single inch of her beloved's body, although it wasn't as if she hadn't already committed it to memory after all those times before.

She took...everything. There was no other way to describe it. She took...and she gave. She gave everything at the same time. With every kiss, every touch, every penetrating gaze, she desperately wanted to convey how much she cared, how much she loved, how much she never wanted to let go. How she had wanted the moment to freeze and stop, for them to be together like this forever. Her desperation, her love, shone through like a beacon that Miki could not possibly have failed to notice, but she doubted herself all the same. It could never be enough. There was no way she could express it clearly enough, the depth of how much she simply cared.

She savored the expression's on Miki's face, the breathy moans as she ministered to her lover more fervently than she had ever done before. Mine. The ferocity behind that fleeting thought had shocked even Aya herself, the depth of her possessiveness surprising, yet not. Yes, this was a side of Miki that no one else ever saw. It was only reserved for her and her alone. She would probably kill anyone who tried to get near her Tan that way, she realised with a jolt, her eyes flaring almost dangerously at that point. Miki, even through her haze of pleasure, had been a bit unnerved by the sheer implacability of her Aya-chan.

"Ne...kowaii yo..." Her Tan's voice had wavered almost uncharacteristically at that point. Aya's strange surge of dominance didn't seem to show any signs of slowing down anytime soon, and soon Miki was torn between asking her to stop and begging her to continue. "Mou...yamete..." The weak protest barely registered, and in any case, the way Miki's body was responding pretty much betrayed her own words.

"One more time...one more time..." She had whispered over and over again to her Mikitan. There could never be enough times. Not until Miki had pretty damn near passed out from exhaustion, only then had she stopped. Leaning over the peacefully curled up Miki who clung to her like a koala, she planted a soft kiss on the older girl's cheek, her lips lingering longer than she had intended, even as she tasted the salty brine of her own tears falling onto the soft skin of her beloved.

She had left not long after that, and now here she was, collapsed at the inside of the entrance to her own apartment. She had barely been able to stagger home, and only managed to hold everything in until she had gotten inside her apartment and closed the door. There she had slumped down, her legs finally giving way as the sheer weight of everything set in.

It was all too much. Knowing that from tomorrow, well, later today, onwards, she couldn't be with Tan that way anymore. She couldn't deal with it, felt as if she was going to break from the inside from the pressure that was mounting inside. What have I done? Her mind cried out in horror. What have I agreed to?

In her pain, her desperation, her confusion, there was only one thing certain that was left in her mind. Without even thinking, she started to repeat it, all unconscious of her own actions as she rocked back and forth while hugging her knees to herself.

"I love you Tan...I love you so much..."

Somewhere off in the distance, the object of her thoughts was whispering much the same thing. All unknowing, they were echoing each other, even when apart.

"I love you so much."

Forever and always...

============

Clearly, I'm evil. That was both embarrassing (at the intimate parts) and painful (everywhere else) to write. And tiring. I really should be sleeping. Haha. But I decided I had to get this done before the inspiration leaves me.

And mini author rant before I go. About the part where Aya couldn't ditch her career where Miki would have been willing to, well, that was just a gut feeling on my part. I also wanted to explain why Miki didn't try to force Aya to her way of thinking and just quit. That's because Miki knows how much Aya loves her job, and even if it hurts her, she wants to see Aya happy. Besides, even if Miki had succeeded in making Aya quit with her and they go off together, Miki knows that some part of Aya would never be happy about that fact, making her "victory" over Aya completely pointless. Loving someone means not wanting them to be hurt in any way, and Miki loves her Aya-chan too much to that to her.

But of course, that doesn't mean that Aya loves Miki any less. She just doesn't want to have to choose, and Miki didn't want to force her to choose. To cut to the chase though, both of them love each other very deeply, and it's all Tsunku's fault, as usual. Hit him, not them! XD

Ok, I'm really tired. My eyes feel sandpapery. Hope you guys liked this part.
« Last Edit: March 07, 2007, 07:32:31 AM by Estrea »

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline Mikitty-saikou

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The Last Night
« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2007, 07:19:35 PM »
Beautiful. ;____;

Tears are actually rolling down my cheeks as I write this.

I just don't know what to write about!  I'm so overwhelmed with emotions. ;__;

Offline Amarghetta

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The Last Night
« Reply #10 on: March 06, 2007, 09:41:24 PM »
Sad but good. :D
I wasn't hoping for a happy ending, and that's what you wrote. Awesome.

Offline len.chan

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The Last Night
« Reply #11 on: March 06, 2007, 10:41:07 PM »
I'm gonna start crying at any moment...
love it :heart:

Offline black velvet

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The Last Night
« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2007, 01:25:16 AM »
Oh, I really like you! ^___^

The story is . . . *sigh* It is angsty and desperate and full of real emotions. I was sort of reminded of Milestone. I like how you described both of them, too. I think you've really looked into their characteristics, especially around one another.

Great stuff. Keep it up, deary. :heart:

Offline JFC

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The Last Night
« Reply #13 on: March 07, 2007, 02:46:53 AM »
Pretty much everything I wanted to say was already said here. You really did well in conveying the emotional angst of the situation and what the girls were going through individually.  

This fic is

JPH!P :heart:'s Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline Estrea

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The Last Night
« Reply #14 on: March 07, 2007, 06:08:36 AM »
Wow I feel loved. Positive reviews make me happy. :) I'm easily pleased. XD

@Mikitty-saikou: Should I be pleased that I made you cry or be trying to comfort you? Umm...I'll do both. There there. *pats* Glad you liked the story. :)

@Amarghetta: Glad you are satisfied. ;)

@len.chan: OMG it's you! I love your fics. Kyaaa!! Ahem. I'm glad you liked the fic. :D

@black velvet: It's a policy for me to like people who like me, so I like you too! ^__^ I'm elated that the fic reminded you of Milestones...I read that before and it was AWESOME. To be compared to an awesome fic...I'm honored...*is humbled* And I'm glad you liked the characterisation...I just took the impressions I had of them and tried to make it as realistic as possible. Though I felt some parts could have been done better...I'm never quite fully satisfied with my own work lol. Thanks for the encouragement! :)

@JFC: I think I'm running out of words to thank people too. Lol. I got a winner pic! Yay! Thank you! Love you! Haha. *has been struck silly from review-happy* XD

*scratches head sheepishly* I'm just so happy that it's well received. Almost makes me glad enough to start writing something else...except for the fact that I need new ideas, AND the fact that I'm actually neglecting my other WIPs on other sites. o_o Well time to go back to lurking for now. Until next time then! :)

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline rndmnwierd

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The Last Night
« Reply #15 on: March 07, 2007, 06:35:41 AM »
Amazing and awesome.

Offline JFC

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The Last Night
« Reply #16 on: March 07, 2007, 06:43:46 AM »
Quote from: Estrea;323884
Well time to go back to lurking for now. Until next time then! :)
Hey don't be a stranger! :wave:

JPH!P :heart:'s Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline OTN1

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The Last Night
« Reply #17 on: March 07, 2007, 07:12:19 AM »
Quote from: Estrea;323486

Ok, I'm really tired. My eyes feel sandpapery. Hope you guys liked this part.
I know the feeling, and yes, we did!
Quote from: Estrea;323486
Clearly, I'm evil. That was both embarrassing (at the intimate parts) and painful (everywhere else) to write. And tiring. I really should be sleeping. Haha. But I decided I had to get this done before the inspiration leaves me.

And mini author rant before I go. About the part where Aya couldn't ditch her career where Miki would have been willing to, well, that was just a gut feeling on my part. I also wanted to explain why Miki didn't try to force Aya to her way of thinking and just quit. That's because Miki knows how much Aya loves her job, and even if it hurts her, she wants to see Aya happy. Besides, even if Miki had succeeded in making Aya quit with her and they go off together, Miki knows that some part of Aya would never be happy about that fact, making her "victory" over Aya completely pointless. Loving someone means not wanting them to be hurt in any way, and Miki loves her Aya-chan too much to that to her.

But of course, that doesn't mean that Aya loves Miki any less. She just doesn't want to have to choose, and Miki didn't want to force her to choose. To cut to the chase though, both of them love each other very deeply, and it's all Tsunku's fault, as usual. Hit him, not them! XD
It's funny because the above look likes you reached into my brain and grabbed all my words and thoughts... but of course you put them together way more succinctly than I ever could. :P

Very nice job on the second part.  I can't think of more to say other than a second bravo.

Offline Estrea

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The Last Night
« Reply #18 on: March 07, 2007, 08:42:08 AM »
Quote from: JFC;323905
Hey don't be a stranger! :wave:


Lol I'm just shy and not prone to uber-posting...unless I'm on a sugar rush. XD

@OTN1: Yay you liked! ^__^ I earned another bravo! *dances around goofily* XD

@rndmnwierd: Thank you very muchies. ^__^

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline Seagull

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The Last Night
« Reply #19 on: March 07, 2007, 03:07:05 PM »
The second part was even more wonderful :pen_clap:*gives Estrea a hug*:kwink::D

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