JPHiP Forum
The Hello! Project Fanfics => H!P Fanfics => Library => Topic started by: Estrea on August 29, 2009, 11:24:03 PM
-
I asked Yuuchan to move this story out of the sandbox since it was becoming more a series than a one shot anyway...so yeah. Thanks Yuuchan!
But yeah, Nanchatte Renai. :D
===========================================
Nanchatte Renai
"Yes, that's it, smile. Good, very good, another one please!"
The repeated flashes of a camera would have blinded any amateur, but the person in question was hardly, if at all, fazed by the attention. With a practiced pout at the lens, young fashion model Tanaka Reina presented yet another perfect picture for the photographer, soon to grace the front cover of yet another teen’s magazine.
"Otsukare~" Reina nodded casually to the staff as she walked into the dressing room to change out of her outfit and back into her street clothes. Not that it was that much of a difference, given that her own fashion style was every bit as trendy as what she was supposed to be modelling.
Dressed to kill, Reina paused only briefly to check her makeup in the wide mirror provided in the room, before heading out with a confident stride.
The combination of her appearance and attitude was electric; heads turned as men and women alike paused to watch her passing. Reina ignored them with her usual ease. She was used to the attention, rather enjoyed it to some degree. It added to her already considerable ego, giving her even more confidence in her own charms.
"Hey! Tanaka!" A deep, vaguely familiar voice called out from behind her. She turned, trying to place the voice in her memories, and then the face came into view.
He was cute in a pretty boy sort of way. Dark tousled hair, suave look, a sparkling smile. Just like any one of the dozens of up and coming young male models from the agency. Honestly, Reina sometimes wondered how she managed to even tell them apart as the days rolled by.
He jogged to catch up with her, an impishly flirtatious grin on his face. He was good-looking; she would give him that, and definitely passed her standards in terms of coolness. At the moment though, she was busily fishing for his name in her mind. The bright smile she gave betrayed no hint of her internal thought processes, however.
"Kyohei-kun, nice to see you again. How are you?" Her reply was effusive, giving no sign of the fact that she had all but forgotten his name only moments ago. His smile grew wider at the recognition, and he fell into step beside the much smaller Reina.
"Fine, and you? Are you free later? We could have dinner..." He invited with a look in his eye that Reina thought she recognized. Inwardly, she rolled her eyes as she mentally completed the words left unsaid in his sentence. '...and head to bed afterwards, right?'
Really, men could be so predictable sometimes. Reina had had her fair share of conquests in the game of seduction, and she knew well the rules of the game. She could read people like an open book in such situations, and play with them as easily as if they were within the palm of her hand.
All things given, Kyohei wouldn't be such a bad catch to land for the night. He was handsome, cool-looking, and he was interested. Reina wasn't interested in commitment, and neither was he. It would be the perfect one-off fling.
Unfortunately, Reina simply wasn't in the mood for games tonight. All the usual antics required for participation in this game, much as it was routine for her, gave her no excitement at the prospect of it. Somehow, being able to predict his game pattern made it all too boring for her. And Reina didn't like being bored.
"Dinner sounds really good..." Putting on her best girlish enthusiasm, she watched him beam in anticipation, then completed her sentence. "...but I'm afraid that I already have something on tonight." The light faded out of his eyes, and Reina resisted the urge to smirk, instead summoning her cutest 'I'm so sorry' smile.
"Maybe another time then?" At least he knew when he was rejected. Reina respected that. His tone was light enough to save his dignity without making him sound too desperate, and they parted ways without a backward glance.
With a sigh, Reina stood listlessly in the lobby, waiting for the elevator to reach her floor. The predictable rounds of her life made her restless, and even her clandestine activities were beginning to lose their appeal to some extent.
Sure, the sex was still fun, but it was only for the moment. In the darkness, with the even breathing of whoever her bed partner happened to be for the night rumbling next to her, she could neither see herself nor feel the reality of her life. It all felt so...pointless. Empty.
The hands of the clock moving steadily clockwise, always in precise intervals, running round the face with predictable regularity. Over and over, the mundane routines that made up her life. Just as the hands moved from point to point, so did she leap from one encounter to the next, one much like the other, except with a different face, and at a different time.
Restless. That was how she felt. The surge that kept her moving, always onward, never looking back. Something that kept her from settling down, that vague urge that always pushed her to go further, move on. It was more than a compulsion; it felt like a hunger that could not be sated, a thirst that could not be quenched. Always reaching out, yet grasping nothing. But always searching.
Reina did not know what she was looking for. She was not made for deep thought, nor equipped for mindful contemplation of her inner being. She was a person who lived outside herself; with too many things she kept a secret within, even to herself. She only knew that she was not satisfied, not with all the brief attachments she had experienced in her life thus far.
Yet she did not yearn for commitment, did not buy into the concept of love eternal, could not bring herself to believe in an unbreakable bond that could link two wholly separate people together. The very idea seemed like a collar, a noose even, to her carefree spirit. She could not, and would not, allow herself to be tied down that way. It would diminish what it meant to be her.
"Reina?" A friendly voice broke her out of her reverie, and Reina started at the sound of her own name. A pair of chocolate eyes stared directly into her own, almost precisely at eye level.
This time she did not have to hesitate to remember the name. This was one person that had a bookmark in her life, someone who was almost as free-spirited as her, and probably even more stubborn.
"Ai-chan!" Her smile was genuine this time, and she allowed herself to be pulled into the now open elevator by her older friend. and senpai in the industry. They were a matched set, in terms of height and build, and in their shared reputations within their line. No one else could match their records in jumping from one relationship to another, if one night stands were even recognized as relationships in the first place.
Takahashi Ai, actress and model, was a petite beauty much like Reina herself was. The similarities ended there though. Reina cultivated a haughty, cat-like aura of untouchability, a presence that demanded that you approach her...but only on her own terms. One could never tell if they would be receiving a scratch or a nuzzle from this one kitty cat. Reina was simply unpredictable like that.
Ai, on the other hand, gave off an intensity that both repelled and drew others to her. Some thought she was too serious, but those who knew her knew that she was only so under certain circumstances. She was quiet, and could pass through a place easily without drawing too much attention, something Reina had yet to be able to master. Put simply, Ai could blend; Reina couldn't, and didn't want to. She liked to be noticed, and blending into one's surroundings hardly contributed to that.
Yet both shared the same popularity in attracting the same sort of flies into their respective traps. Different ways of baiting, but both achieved results. Reina drew people to her like ants to honey, taking her pick from the many arrayed before her; whereas Ai picked her targets carefully beforehand, snapping them up before they even realized that they had been completely trapped.
In a way, they were kindred spirits. Reina felt that Ai was definitely a friend, well, more at times. They had not been above experimenting with each other on occasion, just to see how well the other played. It was a game that saw battles won, but never once had the war been decided.
Truthfully speaking, it was a war that Reina never wanted decided. Things were far more interesting this way.
"Want to come down to my apartment? I don't feel like going out today." Ai invited easily, a relaxed smile on her face. Reina raised an eyebrow.
"No party?" The older grinned in response.
"Too tired." She shrugged helplessly. "The whole of last week was totally booked, so I guess I deserve a rest today."
Reina understood immediately. Their own personal code never failed them. Reina knew exactly what the other girl meant. What she didn't know, however, was Ai's exact intentions. Not that she intended to ask; finding out was half the fun.
"And I'm your best choice for company?" Reina teased lightly, knocking Ai playfully in the side with her elbow. Ai chuckled.
"Nah, you just happen to live nearby."
That much was true. Their apartments were only a few blocks apart. They hadn't planned it that way, naturally, and had been wholly surprised the first time they met each other at the convenience store in the area. For all of Tokyo's size, it still seemed to be a small world indeed.
"Awww, so I'm not your first choice after all..." Reina faked a disappointed sigh, watching the flash of mirth in the other girl's eyes. Their usual game, not quite flirting but somewhere on the verge of it, just two girls having fun teasing each other.
"Of course not. You are just someone who understands, that's all." A knowing smile pass between them, oddly comforting in the shared secrets. They didn't have to pretend to be glossy cover girls, not even jaded celebrities. They could just be...themselves. It was refreshing.
"So who's cooking?" Reina asked absently as the elevator doors opened at the ground floor. Ai pondered that for a moment before replying.
"You just said it yourself." A pause, then Reina groaned aloud. It was a game they played. Whoever asked the question first had to answer it, and since it was this particular question, it meant that Reina had to answer it...by doing the cooking herself.
Ai was grinning from ear to ear. "Careless, aren't you?"
"Don't count on it, Takahashi." Reina growled with mock seriousness, her eyes narrowing. Still, it did not completely hide the spark of laughter dancing in them, and they both knew it.
They continued on in friendly banter as they headed back to Ai's place, where Reina, true to her word, did do the cooking....but not without coercing help from a not-so-reluctant Ai. Amazingly, they were actually able to get through the whole process without too much mishap, amidst all the teasing and general goofing around.
Reina had yet to figure out just what Ai wanted with her that night. An invitation to her apartment could be anything from sex to simply watching TV. It was hard to figure out just what exactly the older girl was in the mood for sometimes.
Dinner came and went, and true enough, Ai did mean what she said: that she wanted to rest. And rest she did, lounging in her comfy couch like a lazy tiger, soft music playing in the background with the lights dimmed. Reina was curled up with her on it, the two of them cuddled comfortably in a friendly silence.
There was no awkwardness, nor the sexual tension that preceded any sort of lascivious activity. They simply took comfort in their closeness, not needing to say anything more to reaffirm it, or even question it. It simply was. What was there, a connection, or nothing at all? It did not matter. Only that they both were there, at this time and place.
The silence was broken by the person who had initiated it in the first place, a languorous murmur that hardly disturbed the balance between them.
"Too bad we can't do this here as often next time..." Ai mused aloud, her fingers toying absently with Reina's long black locks. Reina's answer was just as sleepy, with just a hint of curiosity touching her words.
"Oh?"
"Gaki-san's coming to the city for work. She'll be moving in with me." Delivered offhandedly, as if it were merely another piece of information to be digested and stored aside, with no need for a great reaction. Somewhat odd for someone whose girlfriend was coming over to live with her. One would have expected her to be more excited.
"Oh? Well, isn't that good? You get to see your sweetheart every day then~"
Reina rolled over slightly, the side of her face pressed against Ai's chest, nestled comfortably there. She could hear the steady heartbeat of the older that way. It was oddly soothing to her.
"Perhaps..." There was just a hint of doubt in her voice, and Reina cracked one eye opened and rolled it lazily upwards to regard her friend. Ai's expression became distant, contemplative.
"I wonder if I'll get bored this way..."
"You're too fickle." Reina declared, yawning widely. She did not perceive the irony in her words, or if she did, she did not care. Ai mimicked her gesture, showing even white teeth in the process.
"Let's get to bed. I'm tired."
And so they did, arms wrapped around each other's waists, nuzzling into each other like affectionate kittens. And they did little more than sleep, all tangled up with each other, like missing halves of a puzzle.
The hands of the clock continue ticking, recording with them every moment of their repetitive lives.
===================================================
I'm so tired....does it show? XD
-
Ufufufufufufufu~~
First to comment although I did cheat a little. lol
It's a very cute story, but also very melancholy too. Reina and Aibutt are simply just living day to day, repeatedly, all action and no emotion.
Title fits nicely! :twothumbs *plays song
-
OooOOo... I like. :D Gave off a mellow feeling, and I totally understood the whole "repeating each day" deal. Very nice. x3 I was kinda waiting for someone to write a fic based on the song/title. :3
-
Weird.... It begs a sequel, though I don't usually like RenAi(ness?) I'm interested to see what happens when Gaki-san, playing Ai's GF comes into the picture.
-
This was cute~ You really seem to capture the repetitive-ness of daily life. ReinAi are so adorable, even if all they have is a little more than friendship...but what really interests me is Ai-chan's "enthusiasm" for Gaki moving in with her. :lol:
-
Nanchatte ReinAi. <3 They make me smile. ^^
I can see how it was inspired by the song. :) I like how they find comfort in one another, even as just (kinda?) friends. :lol: Is there going to be a part two? I'm interested as well with what Gaki-san brings.
PS- Is it sad that Gaki-san moving in makes me a little sad? :nervous
-
OU I forgot to comment XD
Nanchatte~! *does hand movements*
Seriously dudette... I thought the guy at the beginning (hitting on Reina) was Aichan... I THOUGHT U TOO MAKES THE GIRLS INTO GUYS!! Phew lucky I was wrong XD
Hmm well, next time Aichan could just go over to Ren's house and have a nanchatte renai, with Gaki waiting anxiously at Aichan's ... yikes
-
I'm with rndmnwierd in this. Ain't very fond of RenAi but this screams for a sequel XD
-
I'm with Saikami on this...when I reached the part with Gaki I was like...ugh.... XD but it actually makes the whole ReinAi relationship very intriguing. Friends with occasional benefits? :dunno: And if yes then what about TakaGaki? Nanchatte Renai and Ai being (again)the bad guy?Or maybe Gaki has smiliar attitude?XD So yeah, like len.chan and rndmnwierd said it needs sequel :P
-
Ahh the ReinAi/TakaGaki wars... coming to an Estrea thread near you! :lol: ReinAi seems to be making a bit of a comeback lately with authors like peti-chan returning (and Essy maybe writing again? ^_^;;). In this thread is the first time I've really noticed the distinction between the fan groups though. :lol: Essy, you weren't trying to write a microcosm of the jphip fanfic 'ships community, were you? XD Nanchatte...
Good stuff, as always from you. Whether this or something else, keep it coming. ;) A few of the rest of us have started updating old fics, so it's time for you to do the same too! :D
Oh, and btw, you can count me on the ReinAi front with peti-chan and SaiSai. ;)
-
"Awww, so I'm not your first choice after all..."
...
"Of course not. You are just someone who understands, that's all."
This very much reminds me of something I overheard a classmate say in high school. She was talking about her weekend with a friend. "She's not my favourite friend, but she's my best friend," she concluded. It struck me as quite callous, and this from a girl I kind of looked up to and admired as a really smart, funny, unique individual. It took me quite a while to figure out what she meant. In the end, I still think it was a bit of a cold thing to say, but it is true that sometimes the people closest to us are not our first choice for when it comes to calling and hanging out. There are some friends with whom all you do is party, and there are other friends that you get and that get you. In the second category, maybe you're complete opposites, but you have one strong point of reference. You may not hang out every weekend because you have other activities that you take up with other friends, but your close friend is always there when you need someone to understand you.
I'm not sure if this is what you meant to get at with your story (as other have pointed out, there is a prominent theme the day-in, day-out monotony of life), but it gave me pause, made me go "oh...", and made me comment.
-
Woohoo, I'm back!
I see how I've ignited some debate over the whole ReinAi vs TakaGaki dynamic. Hehe. Fun times. I wonder which pairing is more popular...lol. XD Should I make a poll?
Oh and Commie, I'm glad you caught that part. I did mean to explore that part of friendship as well...and all the little things that I don't usually get to do in my other stories. That's what the sandbox is for, after all. XD I know how it's like to have friends I like to hang out with, but they're not my best friend, not really. The distinction is definitely there, so yeah.
Anyway, enough rambling, since there's a part two for you people! XD
====================================================
Nanchatte Renai - Verse One
Consciousness came slowly, like a fog lifting from one's mind as one forged a path to clarity. A barely heard snuffle, followed by the rustle of soft sheets as Reina rolled over, throwing one arm over her eyes as she yawned widely.
Silence filled the room, a peaceable serenity marred only by the fact that Reina was alone. She had known almost instantly that she had been alone the moment she had rolled over; had Ai still been there, she would have been unable to do so without coming into contact with the other girl.
Ah, that's right, she had work scheduled in the morning...
The thought did not make her feel appreciably better, but that could just have been a result of the residual grogginess from sleep. Turning onto her side, Reina buried her face into the pillow, letting the familiar scent wrap around her senses as the rest of her body twitched into wakefulness.
After several minutes, she finally roused herself from bed, making a half hearted attempt to make the bed, before giving up halfway and stumbling out of the room in a daze. Reina was definitely not a morning person.
She discovered some food left to warm for her in the kitchen, probably the work of Ai. It was something they always did when they had sleepovers. Munching on some omelette, Reina picked up the note Ai had left on the counter, idly glancing through its contents.
It was nothing she had not already anticipated. Sort her dirty clothes into the right baskets, close the windows, and leave the spare key in its usual place. One would think that Reina, being a semi-regular at Ai's place, would know all these things by heart already, but apparently Ai felt the need to remind her. With a shrug, Reina finished up the remainder of her breakfast and headed to shower.
Freshening up definitely made her feel better, and Reina traipsed out of the bathroom feeling distinctly more alert. Wrapped in no more than a towel, she rummaged through Ai's closet for something to wear. It was a good thing that they were approximately the same size. Besides, if memory served, she usually ended up leaving a few articles of her own clothing around here whenever she stayed over. It wouldn't be too difficult to find something to wear.
An hour later, now dressed and all made up, Reina stepped out of Ai's apartment, twirling the spare keys on her index finger. After locking the door, she slipped the keys into their usual spot, humming softly to herself as she left the building.
It was her off day, so she had all the time in the world to do whatever she wanted. Without a real destination in mind, Reina found herself wandering through a shopping district some time later. Shopping was a good way to waste time, and it gave her something to do.
After unconsciously buying yet more boots and assorted accessories for her already large collection, Reina took a turn down the electronics stores, her boots clicking as she trotted past the flashing screens. Some of the shiny new LCD screens gave her pause; for a television addict like her, the quality of the display mattered. Then again, she already had a 60-inch screen at home. It filled up an entire wall, but Reina never regretted the purchase. It made for excellent viewing.
She made another stop by yet another store, with the latest Blu-Ray recorders placed prominently in front. Not being as much a technology fanatic as a certain friend of hers was, Reina generally left the matter of maintaining the higher tech appliances to that same friend. Even her surround sound system was put together by Ai. Reina could probably have called in technicians to do it for her, but hey, if someone she already knew was ready and willing, why not?
"Hey there, can I help you with anything?" A young salesman with blond highlights in his hair greeted Reina enthusiastically. She had paused a moment too long in front of the display, which was what had allowed him the opportunity to accost her.
"Just looking." Reina replied coolly, but she did take another look at the display. Ai had mentioned these new-fangled things to her previously, but she had been distracted during the technical explanations. If memory served, however, the Blu-Ray recorder was probably better than the old VCR she still kept.
The salesman evidently sensed a possible opportunity, since he immediately started pitching the product to her. Despite herself, Reina listened. Minutes later, she was mostly convinced to buy the recorder. The salesman looked obviously pleased at his success when Reina finally acceded to buy the product.
"I'm not too good with this kind of stuff, really." Reina confessed as she signed the purchase form. "My friend usually helps me with it."
"Well, if you need any help, you can always give me a call." He handed her a name card, their hands brushing against each other briefly, before Reina pulled away. He did not seem displeased by the act, and let his eyes linger on her some more. Reina was, after all, a very attractive young woman.
"Do you need any help moving this? I can help you call a taxi." The young man went on to offer. Seeing no harm in the gesture, Reina agreed. Best to have someone else do the dirty work for her. Reina was never one to soil her own hands when it wasn't absolutely necessary.
It was apparent that he was trying to get into her good books. Reina was no amateur at this particular game, and she had seen right through him from his first move. However, she was willing to entertain him...for a while. In all actuality, she wasn't really in the mood to play along with any attempts at flirting. Besides, he wasn't even that handsome.
Resisting the urge to openly roll her eyes at him, she allowed him to help her with the carrying of the box containing her latest purchase...as well as her assorted other shopping bags. Reina was not above using people to her own advantage.
The moment the taxi arrived and everything was stowed in though, Reina's pleasant (and entirely faked) smile vanished, and she calmly shattered any illusions he had possibly been entertaining over her with callous indifference, before entering the taxi without even a single backward glance.
The things she had to do to get persistent guys away... Reina shook her head. Some of those boys out there didn't even realize just how far out of their league she was. She wished they would just leave her alone, but then again, who would entertain her if they did not try?
Absently pulling out her cell phone, Reina scrolled through her inbox, skipping through a number of messages from several different guys. Some of them just didn't know when to give up.
As if on cue, her phone vibrated again, the message tone singing out. She was about ready to delete it, but the name of the sender prevented her from doing so.
Did you put your clothes in the right baskets?
- 'Lovely'
For safety's sake, Reina had given nicknames to all her contacts in order to prevent their numbers from being stolen should she ever lose her phone. It was a reasonable precaution since she had the contacts of many a celebrity.
With a half smile, her fingers flew over the keypad, composing a rapid reply.
If I said no, will you still come over to install my new Blu-Ray recorder?
- R
And sent. Reina was hardly aware of the grin still playing on her lips at this line of conversation. Talking to Ai like that was always fun. Their mutual teasing was the cornerstone of their friendship.
Sorry, I have to go pick Gaki-san up later at night
- Lovely
Reina paused, her fingers faltering. For lack of anything to say, her reply was short.
Ah...
- R
With that, she snapped her phone shut, throwing it into her purse without a second thought. For some reason, she really wanted to go out and do something appropriately wild again. It might just distract her from being so bored. She refused to even consider the possibility that she might be just a tad lonely. How could she be? She had so many people she could call if she wanted to go out and play. She had options.
Reaching back for her phone, she scrolled through her contact list and called the first person she saw.
"Hey, do you want to go down to the club later?"
~*~*~
The door clicked open softly, opening and shutting with barely any disturbance. Removing her heels at the entryway, she placed them neatly on one side, peering around for any signs of the occupant.
The apartment was dead silent, and the visitor only added on to it, quietly moving through the place with an easy familiarity. She stepped around the creaky floorboard without even looking, avoided the squeaky floor mat, and did not get her sleeve caught on the hook around the corner.
The place was a mess, as usual. It was not dirty, but it was disorganized. Resisting the urge to tidy things up, Takahashi Ai eyed the place with a look of resignation. It seemed that Reina would never be as neat as she wanted her to be.
The unopened box with Reina's new purchase was by the television, and the bag that Reina had carried with her from work to her place the day before was thrown carelessly onto the couch. Poking her head into Reina's room, she noted the chaos of the bed. Hangers and clothes were thrown all over the place. Shaking her head, Ai retreated from the room, voicing her conclusion.
"She left..."
Evidently, Reina had gone out again after coming home. The signs were all there. Reina's stilettos were not in their usual place in the shoe cupboard, her favourite 'party' purse was gone, and the clothes strewn over her bed was yet another indicator of her haste to get dressed again to go out.
Ai wondered why the girl had not waited. She did say that she had to pick Gaki-san up only later at night. Granted, her cell phone battery had died before she could send the second part of her message. She had originally intended to just tease with the first message, but since the second did not get sent out successfully, she supposed it could not be helped.
"Oh well, since I'm here already..."
~*~*~
She slipped back into her house like a thief in the night, groping in the dark for the light switch. She found it, but not before bumping her knee against the wall. With a muttered oath, she turned the lights on.
Reina squinted to keep the glare out of her eyes, tugging off her heels and chucking them aside. Her clothes were fairly crumpled, with good reason. The last few hours had been fairly active. Speaking of which, she needed a shower. She never liked any reminder of her encounters after they had already passed.
When she reached the living room, she paused. Something was different. Maybe it was the fact that everything was scrupulously neat.
More importantly, her old recorder was inside the opened, and empty, box of her new Blu-Ray player, and in its original place, fully hooked up, was her new purchase. It was even active.
With a strangely heavy feeling in her chest, Reina approached the player and the stack of empty recordable discs next to it that had not been there before. There was a note there as well.
Set the player to record your favourite shows. Don't mess with the settings. Call me if you need anything else.
It was unsigned, but the handwriting and tone was evident enough. Reina ground her teeth together, her fist tightening around the note. A surge of something sharp cut through her, something akin to anger, yet not.
Damn that woman...
==========================================
And done. That only took 3 hours. XD
Not too happy with this for some reason...hmm...
Comment freely, people!
-
First post~!
Ahh...This is a very interesting story you've got going on here. I really like ReinAi how they are, as close friends who are simply there for one another and understand, yet at the same time it frustrates me. :lol:
Gaki-san seems to unintentionally bring out feelings in Reina, I think it's very realistic of Reina to feel lonely, even if she knows her and Aichan are just friends who understand. It's hard losing someone who simply understands, even if their not your best or closest friend, if they understand you, even the little feeling of losing them (especially to someone else) is very painful. But, of course, it's Reina, so she had to go out and get a distraction from it all, very understandable. Using another person to cover up the fact that your lonely. Nanchatte Renai indeed. :)
I'm expecting this to be continued even more, just so you know :P
Oh yeah, and techie!Aichan for the win. :D
-
Saikami again we share the same feeling XD
It’s sad that Reina feels lonely though being surrounded by people :cry: Ai is the only person who makes her life more enjoyable, unpredictable and simply livelier in that whole monotony which surrounds her. But Ai actually has also someone else so she isn’t completely depended on Reina and that may hurt the most :( If things were to end between them (because who knows what Gaki knows, thinks and expects from Ai XD) it’s Reina who will lose, feeling even more lonely and…
…who will help her with being up to date with all the tech innovations? XD
Ehh...I just hope nothing like that will happen...and it's sweet that Reina has Ai in her phone saved as Lovely :heart:
-
The feeling of ‘there is but there is none’ 'there is none but there is', a simple but complex image of life. Why am I feeling lonely now? XD
-
Hmm this is deep. I agree with Saikami & Peti-chan here. It's like being alone even when surrounded by people.
Reina & Ai found themselves in each other and they have mutual unspoken understanding of each other's world where no one else can understand, nor do they want anyone else to intrude. So when Risa enters into the picture, it creates uneasiness in their life.
-
Mmmmm, poor Reina. People all around her, yet she is still alone and then have all these nanchatte renai to cover it all up. I understand her feelings.
And it's so typical of Ai for her cell phone batter to die on her before she can send out her second message. lol And cause all this emotional roller coaster for the little kitty-kat. But now that Gaki is coming I agree with Badsaints that Gaki is gonna throw a monkey wrench into this smooth running machine between Reinai.
+1 for techieAi. I can totally see her talking about the latest gadgets to bored MM members. :lol:
-
Wow this is super interesting. Did I mention I don't like this pairing? And yet, I think I want to see them together in the end. Well, maybe, I guess it depends on how Gaki-san is. If she's the 'crazy' girlfriend, then definitely, but if you make her likeable I think my head might explode. You write RenAi so well.
-
Like everyone else said: this is deep and interesting. Reina reminds me of what I've been through: surrounded by lots of people and yet feel very much alone. Worst for me since I've basically lost contact with all of my friends.
I wonder what kind of person Gaki is going to be and how will affect RenAi.
TanaGaki or RenAi? Usually I'd prefer TanaGaki since I've been used to that pairing and feel more comfortable with it than RenAi (that and I instantly fell in love with it from reading All Aboard). But RenAi is still interesting and I'm slowly liking it. On the other hand, TanaTakaGaki is awesome. *suddenly reminded of The Lines Are Blurred
-
Nanchatte Renai
Are you free later? We could have dinner..." He invited with a look in his eye that Reina thought she recognized. Inwardly, she rolled her eyes as she mentally completed the words left unsaid in his sentence. '...and head to bed afterwards, right?'
See, guys like this with attitudes/lines like that really make me wish we had a "facepalm" smiley here. :smhid
The predictable rounds of her life made her restless, and even her clandestine activities were beginning to lose their appeal to some extent.
Sure, the sex was still fun, but it was only for the moment. In the darkness, with the even breathing of whoever her bed partner happened to be for the night rumbling next to her, she could neither see herself nor feel the reality of her life. It all felt so...pointless. Empty.
Sounds like the "aloofness" of Reina's life just isn't giving her a sense of satisfaction/fulfillment. She might not realize it right now, but it sounds to me like she's wanting "something more" than just the casual flings to which she's gotten accustomed.
Yet she did not yearn for commitment, did not buy into the concept of love eternal, could not bring herself to believe in an unbreakable bond that could link two wholly separate people together. The very idea seemed like a collar, a noose even, to her carefree spirit. She could not, and would not, allow herself to be tied down that way. It would diminish what it meant to be her.
That's just her head talking. She's obviously never been in a situation/relationship that would have made her feel that strongly, so she doesn't have a clue of how powerful it can really be.
Yet both shared the same popularity in attracting the same sort of flies into their respective traps. Different ways of baiting, but both achieved results. Reina drew people to her like ants to honey, taking her pick from the many arrayed before her; whereas Ai picked her targets carefully beforehand, snapping them up before they even realized that they had been completely trapped.
Is it cheesy if I say "They could "entrap" me anytime" ?
Well bah, I said it anyway. :D
*REINAI BANTER*
Oh yeah, it's obvious that that's totally NOT flirting. 8)2
[/sarcasm]
Reina had yet to figure out just what Ai wanted with her that night. An invitation to her apartment could be anything from sex to simply watching TV. It was hard to figure out just what exactly the older girl was in the mood for sometimes.
Do I even have to say anything here? XD
"Gaki-san's coming to the city for work. She'll be moving in with me." Delivered offhandedly, as if it were merely another piece of information to be digested and stored aside, with no need for a great reaction. Somewhat odd for someone whose girlfriend was coming over to live with her. One would have expected her to be more excited.
Oh wait a sec? Risa? :?
Aichan's lack of enthusiasm has me concerned. :O
"Let's get to bed. I'm tired."
And so they did, arms wrapped around each other's waists, nuzzling into each other like affectionate kittens. And they did little more than sleep, all tangled up with each other, like missing halves of a puzzle.
I immediately thought of this pic from the Cat Pic Thread. :oops:
(http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/6633/12495859.jpg)
:heart:
"Awww, so I'm not your first choice after all..."
...
"Of course not. You are just someone who understands, that's all."
This very much reminds me of something I overheard a classmate say in high school. She was talking about her weekend with a friend. "She's not my favourite friend, but she's my best friend," she concluded. It struck me as quite callous, and this from a girl I kind of looked up to and admired as a really smart, funny, unique individual. It took me quite a while to figure out what she meant. In the end, I still think it was a bit of a cold thing to say, but it is true that sometimes the people closest to us are not our first choice for when it comes to calling and hanging out. There are some friends with whom all you do is party, and there are other friends that you get and that get you. In the second category, maybe you're complete opposites, but you have one strong point of reference. You may not hang out every weekend because you have other activities that you take up with other friends, but your close friend is always there when you need someone to understand you.
I'm not sure if this is what you meant to get at with your story (as other have pointed out, there is a prominent theme the day-in, day-out monotony of life), but it gave me pause, made me go "oh...", and made me comment.
That really makes sense to me. Friendships that you form are different/vary from person to person. You've got friends that you'd go party/get drunk with, but that you may not seek advice from. At the same time, you've got friends that you can always go to when something's bothering you, but they may not necessarily be the most socially outgoing people out there. Many of my friends know that I'm not (nor really ever was) a "partyer", so they don't/won't/haven't really ever invited me out when they were going out to the bar or to any of those crazy house partys (you know, the kind that they have in the movies where the parents are gone for the weekend, and so the kids throw a party and it's standing room only with cars parked on the front lawn and TP dressing the trees, etc). I've no problem if/when I've been left out of situations like that, because they and I both know that that's just not who I am, and that if they did drag me along, that I'd end up being really uncomfortable and that I simply wouldn't like it. However when it came to things like needing advice/help with any problems they may have had, or if they just want to go out and have dinner somewhere and have "normal" conversation (i.e. where you don't have to raise your voice to be able to hear yourself), or if they were looking at making a fairly important purchase and they wanted a second opinion while they shopped around, they knew that they could come to me and that I'd do what I could to help them out.
It isn't absolutely necessary to be able to do everything with each and every one of one's friends. As long as you're there for one other when the time calls for it, that's all that's needed.
Nanchatte Renai - Verse One
She discovered some food left to warm for her in the kitchen, probably the work of Ai. It was something they always did when they had sleepovers.
Awwwwwww...:oops:
Freshening up definitely made her feel better, and Reina traipsed out of the bathroom feeling distinctly more alert. Wrapped in no more than a towel
:drool:
she rummaged through Ai's closet for something to wear. It was a good thing that they were approximately the same size. Besides, if memory served, she usually ended up leaving a few articles of her own clothing around here whenever she stayed over. It wouldn't be too difficult to find something to wear.
One can't help get the feeling that ReinAi are a lot closer then even they probably realize. :yep:
"Hey there, can I help you with anything?" A young salesman with blond highlights in his hair greeted Reina enthusiastically. She had paused a moment too long in front of the display, which was what had allowed him the opportunity to accost her.
That's how they get'cha!
<_<
>_>
Resisting the urge to openly roll her eyes at him, she allowed him to help her with the carrying of the box containing her latest purchase...as well as her assorted other shopping bags. Reina was not above using people to her own advantage.
The moment the taxi arrived and everything was stowed in though, Reina's pleasant (and entirely faked) smile vanished, and she calmly shattered any illusions he had possibly been entertaining over her with callous indifference, before entering the taxi without even a single backward glance.
BURN! :grin:
*REINAI TEXTING*
Reina's reaction to Aichan's last message definitely gives a hint that they (or at the very least Reina) doesn't realize just how close the 2 of them really are.
Reaching back for her phone, she scrolled through her contact list and called the first person she saw.
"Hey, do you want to go down to the club later?
Uh-oh. :shocked:
The apartment was dead silent, and the visitor only added on to it, quietly moving through the place with an easy familiarity. She stepped around the creaky floorboard without even looking, avoided the squeaky floor mat, and did not get her sleeve caught on the hook around the corner.
The place was a mess, as usual. It was not dirty, but it was disorganized. Resisting the urge to tidy things up, Takahashi Ai eyed the place with a look of resignation. It seemed that Reina would never be as neat as she wanted her to be.
But of course Aichan knows the spot where Reina keeps her spare key. O0
Evidently, Reina had gone out again after coming home. The signs were all there. Reina's stilettos were not in their usual place in the shoe cupboard, her favourite 'party' purse was gone, and the clothes strewn over her bed was yet another indicator of her haste to get dressed again to go out.
Ai wondered why the girl had not waited.
Probably because she really had wanted Aichan to come over, and that she was upset (though she probably doesn't realize it herself) that Aichan had something else to do instead.
Granted, her cell phone battery had died before she could send the second part of her message. She had originally intended to just tease with the first message, but since the second did not get sent out successfully, she supposed it could not be helped.
"Oh well, since I'm here already..."
Awwwww...she's going to set up the BR player anyway for Reina, isn't she? :wub:
She slipped back into her house like a thief in the night, groping in the dark for the light switch. She found it, but not before bumping her knee against the wall. With a muttered oath, she turned the lights on.
Funny that Aichan seems to know the layout of Reina's place better than Reina herself does.
:hee:
Reina squinted to keep the glare out of her eyes, tugging off her heels and chucking them aside. Her clothes were fairly crumpled, with good reason. The last few hours had been fairly active. Speaking of which, she needed a shower. She never liked any reminder of her encounters after they had already passed.
Lemme guess, the number she had called earlier was a dude. :(
*REINA NOTICES THE BR PLAYER*
I'd have to think that it's almost like she's frustrated. Reina realizes now that even though Aichan had said she was busy, she still made the effort to come by and help. Reina was the one who wanted to spend time with Aichan, but instead, by going out for a booty call, Reina was the one who kept that from happening.
Ooooooooooooooooooooh this is really going to get interesting, to say the least. Moreso when Risa arrives.
-
Hm, I found this pretty cute...but puzzling at the same time. I have no real idea why though. :lol: I think Reina, though she knows Ai-chan had work and is "taken", feels lonely waking up alone like that. Ah, so staying over each other's houses is a semi-regular thing, huh? LMAO at Reina at the electronic store. Sometimes she seems like an old lady, despite her being the one who always calls other ppl old. XD I like this thing that they have going here, it's...interesting? :D
-
awww The Melancholy of Tanaka Reina :k-sad:
Kyohei-kun....why do I think he's the creeper from one of Rokun's stories? XD Maybe it's just cause she bumped into him after a photo shoot. But anyways I'm glad she didn't go with him :scared:
*Shakes fist at Ai chan* :on yellcard: Poor Gaki....well unless...they all function the same way. Can you even imagine Gaki keeping Kamei on the side?! :scared: Darn this illusive model world they live in! :stunned:
It's cute how Ai chan's the only one that can make the kitten content even with the simple things in life...too bad Ai chan probably just adds to Reina's loneliness.
I wonder if Gaki wasn't in the picture...would they still be just as bored. hmm...I get the feeling that if they really wanted to be with each other, it would have already happened. Perhaps they really are too alike...
oh so if this is verse 1...are there more chapters to come? like on hamburgers and long distance telephone calls? XD
-
^ There were supposed to be more
chapters verses but our fave genius author is too distracted preoccupied to continue. Now, if only Sukoshi-chan has some power to "make" Essy write :roll:
-
I like how Reina does a lot of “doing things” to occupy her time but simultaneously is rather thoughtful about her life, it's nice to see a thoughtful Reina.
Also, it's kind of amusingly ironic that the tech savvy Ai gets tripped up by, of all tech problems, a dead battery XD
I’ll be rooting for ReinAi while I pray to the H!P gods that you’ll be inspired to write verse 2 :D
-
Lazy to reply to all the comments, mostly because a crazy group chat on AIM is sapping my attention. XD
Next chapter of the Nanchatte Renai series~
==============================================
Bridge
"Itai!"
Glaring after the obviously foreign person that had so rudely barged past me, brows furrowed into a thick line, I pursed my lips in a disapproving frown. No, don't make fun of my eyebrows. I know what you want to say.
Regardless, I dust myself off carefully and pull my bag tighter into myself. It felt strange to be in Tokyo on my own, without an escort. Well, Yokohama wasn't a small city either, so I wasn't exactly a country bumpkin unused to the hustle and bustle of city life, but Tokyo seemed a lot more concentrated somehow. It wasn't too unnerving, but it was different.
Ai-chan must have been so out of her depth when she first came to Tokyo... I smile to myself at the thought, remembering the quietly boisterous soul I had met so many years ago, thanks to my cousin. I might be slightly provincial, that much I would admit, but Ai-chan had always been a country girl. Granted, she had been living on her own in Tokyo for the last 5 years, but to me, she would always be the same girl I met at my cousin's place 7 years ago. A little different, a little unsure, but always stubborn and determined to do whatever she had decided on.
Ah, forgive the digression; I have yet to introduce myself, haven't I?
My name is Niigaki Risa, age 19. What am I doing in Tokyo? Well, let's just say that I wanted to try living a life somewhat independent of my family. My very rich, very influential family.
I suppose if I had really wanted, I could have lived out my life in idle, protected luxury in Yokohama, or anywhere else, for the rest of my life. I would never have to lift a finger to do honest work should I chose not to. That was the extent of my family's wealth, and more.
I was one of several children in the extended Niigaki family, born to the second wife. Yes, second wife. Apparently the first one died of illness. Guess even us rich folks aren't immune to mortal concern. My father remarried shortly after the demise of the first, and I was the result.
I suppose being one of the legitimate children had its perks. For one thing, we could live on the estate, or in any one of the many residences scattered around Japan. We also had the benefit (and curse) of bearing the Niigaki name, which could open many doors in society, but also burden us with the family's image.
Fortunately, I had mostly lived my life out of the public eye, since I was less given to outrageous acts that grabbed the headlines of gossip magazines eager to spill the beans about the lives of wealthy socialites.
Then again, despite my lack of newsworthy shenanigans that would make headlines, I did have a less than publicised secret that would almost instantly catapult me into fame (or infamy) should it ever be discovered.
For I was dating a girl. And not just any girl. Hers was a face that had graced many a magazine cover, and was the front for many other ads. Not only that, she had a budding acting career as well, so I could still see her on screen even when she was too busy to come visit me due to work.
Yes, her name is Takahashi Ai, and we've been dating for little more than a year. I would never have thought as a child that I would grow up to have same-sex tendencies, but life did have a way of throwing curve balls at people. And Ai-chan was one of those shots I never saw coming until I turned a corner and it hit me in my face.
Like I said, I have already known her for many years, before she had ever decided to head out to Tokyo for a career in showbiz. Technically though, the truth was that I met her after she had decided that her life belonged to the stage, since she was already training rather intensely in dance, and was a member of the choir when I first saw her at my cousin's house.
I'll confess that I wasn't too impressed when I first saw her. She was small, but then again I wasn't very much bigger at the time either. She was older, but acted almost like a child. She also looked and sounded very much like a country bumpkin, and for someone who was raised in an elite family like I was, she seemed like a joke. At that time, I had wondered what a person like that was doing in my cousin's home. I'm ashamed to admit that my first assumption of her was that of a servant.
To later find out that not only was she not a servant, but also a friend and schoolmate of my cousin, came as a shock to me. Give me a break; I was 12 at the time. Besides, who would have thought that a country girl like her would have made it into the Sugiyama escalator school system? A private academy like that was only open to those who were rich or otherwise incredibly accomplished.
As I was to find out, Ai-chan might not have been rich, but she was accomplished. Whatever she had, she earned through her own efforts. She was not particularly talented in her studies, though she did reasonably well in academics through a lot of hard work. Most of her focus though, had always been in the performing arts. It had been on that basis alone that she had been admitted into the school, and she always made sure that she deserved her place there, according to my cousin.
I might not have been impressed with her at first sight, but I eventually grew attracted to her sheer difference, like a breath of fresh air into my stuffy private life. The fact that we had totally different upbringings was a bit awkward right at first, but we worked around it eventually.
Though I'll admit that the way she would budget for things amused me to no end back when we were younger. Now, I view it as no more than just another adorable quirk that she had, part of that precocious bundle that was wholly mine.
Granted, I didn't get to see her very often, it being mostly a long distance relationship at best. I guess if I had really wanted, I could have gone to Tokyo everyday just to see her, but Ai-chan had wanted to avoid scandal. I could see where she was coming from, and I was myself just as eager to avoid being on the front page of a tabloid.
Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I decided against braving the hassle of public transport and flagged down a taxi. Ai-chan had work at the moment, which was why I was out on my own in the first place.
The first two weeks of being in this new place had been a little unusual, to say the least, and was compounded by the fact that I still rarely got to see Ai-chan at all. She was still as much of a workaholic now as she had been back then, and the fact that she was also busy rehearsing for an upcoming play meant that I ended up spending more time at home than she did in these two weeks. Not that I stayed in there on my own a lot, given that I was mostly out browsing around and taking my time looking for a job. I didn't need a job, but I wanted something to do. That was why I was here in the first place.
There was another reason why I wanted to be here though. I wanted to see her, be with her, instead of feeling like we were simply cell phone girlfriends that exchanged sweet messages without ever meeting face to face.
It had all come from a very innocent question from my cousin, she being the only one who knew about my clandestine relationship with Ai-chan.
Do you know what she does outside of work?
The question had given me pause; what does Ai-chan do outside of work? I was well-informed about her work...as well-informed as any of her fans, that is. That annoyed me to no end, for some reason. I was her girlfriend, for goodness sake. I should know things about her that the public doesn't know about! Just the mere thought of it made me indignant, and now here I was.
The things I do for love...
Concrete scenery flashed past the window, carrying my fleeting thoughts with them. The ride was deceptively quick, but then again Ai lived in a prime district, so I hadn't had to travel far to begin with. She must really be doing well to be able to live in such a place.
Distractedly, I paid the fare and step out. The streets were dyed gold in the setting sun, and I check my phone instinctively again. Ai-chan's last mail had said that she would be back earlier today, so I was looking forward to spending some quality time with her.
The trip up was uneventful, and when I finally found myself outside the door of the apartment, I realized something crucially important.
I forgot to bring the keys!
The inconvenient part about learning to live outside was the fact that I had to remember all sorts of niggling little details. For someone used to being waited on hand and foot, it was certainly a difficult task.
Pacing around outside the door, I wondered if Ai would be long in returning. It would be awful to have to wait outside like a fool. I was just about to shoot off a quick mail to ask her about that, when the sound of a footstep behind me made me turn around.
It was not Ai-chan, but someone about the same size as her. Every inch of her somehow screamed "yankii", and she was looking at me with one raised eyebrow, as if I was some kind of interesting specimen. I was ready to turn back and ignore her, before I realized that this was the end of the corridor and the only apartment was Ai's...
"So, you're that Gaki-san." Yankii Girl said out loud, making me jump and stare at her with even wider eyes. How did she know my name? More importantly, how did she know how Ai-chan called me? A friend of Ai-chan? Or a stalker? How could I have a stalker?
"Ai-chan mentioned you a few times." She replied in answer to my unspoken bafflement. Quirking her lips, she added. "She was right about the eyebrows....and the forehead."
Instinctively, my hand went to cover the aforementioned parts defensively. How rude! I wondered how Ai-chan even got friends like that. This girl was certainly pretty enough, but she had absolutely no breeding.
"Aren't you going in?" She asked me, and I frowned slightly, not wanting to admit that I had forgotten to bring the keys. When I didn't respond, she snorted and shoved past me none too gently, reaching behind a hidden spot to reveal a spare key in her hand.
"How did you..." I blurted out, even as she casually unlocked the door. She ignored me though, and just entered without a backward glance. Grumbling to myself, I followed her in, all while wondering just who this girl was to Ai.
"Just who are you anyway?" I asked her again when we were inside. That insolent yankii put her bag down on the couch, lifting her eyes only briefly to acknowledge my question.
"A friend~" The voice that answered was neither of ours. I turned to see Ai waltzing in as if nothing had happened. Her eyes were bright as she locked gazes with that yankii girl.
"Reina! I haven't seen you in weeks." The girl called Reina huffed quietly and prodded Ai in the shoulder.
"I was busy, and so were you." Her eyes swivelled over quite deliberately to regard me. I suddenly felt quite uncomfortable for some reason. Squishing that feeling, I drew up to them, feeling oddly like a third wheel for some inexplicable reason.
"So who is this exactly?" I ask again, trying to keep my tone polite. Something about this Reina made me uneasy. I wasn't sure why or what though. It was just a feeling.
"Gaki-san, this is my cute kouhai, Reina. We work together sometimes." Ai-chan ruffles Reina's hair playfully, prompting a little growl from the younger girl.
"She's your colleague then..." I say out loud, as if to reassure myself of something, I know not what. They exchange a look, and something unreadable pass between them so fleetingly that I would have missed it, had I not been staring straight at them.
"Ai-chan was my mentor before I debuted officially." Reina added on quietly. There was an undercurrent in her voice that seemed to say volumes, but I was unable to read its content. Ai, on the other hand, had a strange look on her face, an expression I had never seen before.
"Yeah, you were such a wild kid back then..." I seem to be missing half the conversation. Making up my mind to question Ai later, I smile at them. It was a bit forceful, that much I would admit.
Before I could open my mouth, Reina cut in quickly.
"I'm just here to get something, then I'll head out. Wouldn't want to intrude." There seemed to be a hidden barb in her words, and I think I was the only one who saw Ai-chan grimace slightly at it, since Reina had already turned her back on us to saunter into Ai's room.
"You let your kouhai call you Ai-chan?" I broke the moment with a quick question, and Ai-chan turned to look at me.
"Why not?" At my sceptical look, she hastened on to add.
"Reina's a good kid. Don't judge her by her appearance." My forehead crinkled together some more at the protective tone in her voice. This feeling, was it jealousy? Was I jealous of that rude, scrawny yankii?
As if on cue, Reina emerged from the room while putting on a pair of earrings. I blinked. I had seen those on Ai's dresser before. What was she doing with them?
"Couldn't find these so I came over to look." Reina said offhandedly as she fastened them on. Ai looked amused. I...wasn't sure how my face looked. I think I need a mirror...
"Don't stay out so late, we have a joint shoot tomorrow morning." Ai-chan still had that oddly bemused expression on her face, as if she were elsewhere. Reina smirked.
"I know how to work on short sleep, unlike you."
They share a grin, Ai's somehow sheepish and Reina's smug, and a muscle twitched in my jaw. I had to take a few deep breaths to keep from clenching my fists. For some reason, Reina's very presence raised all my hackles. It was all I could do to keep from clinging on to Ai-chan immediately to proclaim my territory.
"I'll be off then. See you tomorrow." Reina waved flippantly as she exited. Ai only shook her head at the departing girl, an indulgent smile playing on her lips.
"You two seem close." I stated flatly, crossing my arms. Ai turned back to look at me.
"We've been working together for a while. She's a good friend." Her answer was diplomatic, and her face carefully blank. Which only made me all the more suspicious, but I suppressed my inner jealousy. I didn't want to play the stereotyped part of a jealous girlfriend. That was just...not me.
"Don't pout, Risa-chan~" She suddenly leans in and plants a soft kiss on my nose. I blush, not used to the intimacy. I might have made the first move in confessing, but I had never initiated much of any intimate contact. I think we've only gone as far as kissing and a bit of groping, but never further than that.
I was still a little shy about going that far, but I had mentally prepared myself for the eventuality that something might happen since I was staying with her. After all, wasn't it normal for couples to be intimate? I certainly didn't want to be some sort of a prude...
"I think I'll go make dinner now." She withdraws, and I can't help but feel mildly disappointed.
"Do you want help?" I ask, trailing behind her. She shoves at me lightly, making me sit down on the couch.
"No way, I want my kitchen intact afterwards!"
"Hey I'm not that bad!"
"Oh really? I still remember what happened the last time when we were over at Sayu's house..."
I flush. "That was Sayu's fault!"
She laughs at me, tapping her finger lightly at the centre of my forehead. The uneasiness I felt from before evaporates, and I look up at her in anticipation.
"Can I have your omu-rice???"
"Sure thing. Just stay put."
Her smile washes away my doubts, and she rewards me with another kiss on the forehead before entering the kitchen. I watch her with adoring eyes. I'm really lucky to have such a wonderful girl by my side.
And I'm never going to let anyone take her away from me.
====================================================
There. XD A Gaki chapter.
*flees*
-
Nice and very long, my eyes started to burn after that lol (don't worry I like the long ones it just got to have a hook)
I think it is the first time I have read yours and I enjoyed it and don't flee, its not good to write and run
-
nice :mon trudge:
poor Risa , this situation was very inconvinient :frustrated:
I hope that Ai chose to gaki
though RenAi is really Nice!!! :mon crazyinlove:
nonononono Takagaki Takagaki Takagaki :prayers:
-
Wow, I actually don't know who I'm rooting for. On the one hand, my second favorite pairing in all of H!P is Takakgaki and RenAi is one of my least favorites. On the other hand, it's you and I do like how you write RenAi. But Gaki-san will be so devastated if she loses Ai and I don't think Ai and Reina will be able to change their relationship just because Ai is going steady with Risa.
..... :bleed eyes: <--I told you my head would explode...
-
Ahh...Gaki-san irritates me a lot :lol: You kinda captured how I picture her fancy rich-ness to be though, good job. XD
I feel bad for enjoying her get jealous over ReinAi, muahaha. Those two really have a connection. :heart:
And I'm never going to let anyone take her away from me.
Whatever, Reina can kick your ASS. :D
-
LOL
Poor Gaki. Always getting the short end of the stick. XD XD
This isn't going to go well for her at all.
-
So, Gaki unlike Reina is a rich, cute, innocent, good girl, a bit naive and head over the heels with Ai-chan XD It’s kind of surprising that they never slept with each other, I thought they would be already past that experience XD And though Risa loves Ai, she knows about her incomparably less than Reina, so I wonder how she would react if she knew everything, surely she wouldn't be happy, their views on life and love also seem to be different. They are sweet as a couple but lack that something which is between Reina and Ai and even Risa herself caught a glimpse of that.
I have no idea how will this end but I keep my fingers crossed for Reina, especially now when I know Risa’s opinion about our yankii XD
-
Yarr i feel bad for both, Reina and Risa. XD For Reina not being Ai-chan's 1st choise and for Risa because she really thinks Ai-chan is only her's and wants to believe it. Ai-chan... Just get rid of Risa and tell Reina how your feelings have changed and your in love with Reina now. :D :heart:
-
I don't feel like talking too much now. Writing this made me all morose because it was so hard...
Don't judge by length. Judge by the story not told. D:
P.S. Still part of the Nanchatte Renai series.
===============================================
Softly, Distantly
"How can you be so bright this early in the morning??"
Reina turned around to face a grouchy Ai, who had reverted to type the moment the cameras were off them. Ai was not a morning person. Reina, however, was. Hence the above comment.
"I had a good night, is why~" Reina hummed under her breath as they stopped by a vending machine. Ai leaned against the wall next to it, closing her eyes as she massaged her temples.
"Bad night?" Reina took a quick glance at the taut look on Ai's face. One eye opened to regard her, lips drawing into a tight line.
"Don't say it." Ai sighed and folded her arms. Reina chuckled lowly in response, handing Ai a warm can of coffee which the older took gratefully, wrapping her hands around it.
They walked on in companionable silence, taking their time since it was the turn of another batch of models at the moment. They had been there since early in the morning, and while Ai had been nothing but professional during the shoot, Reina could sense the weariness rolling off the older in waves. She had held off saying anything until now of course, not wanting anyone else to barge in on their conversation.
"So you had a good night eh?" Ai asked aloud, looking straight ahead. Reina looked down at her hands, clutching the packet of milk.
"Could always be better. I didn't stay that long." Ai tapped her fingers against the can restlessly, but did not look over. Reina blew out the air from her puffed up cheeks, letting them deflate slowly. Her fingers tightened around her drink, but she didn't say anything.
Abruptly, Ai took a sharp turn at the corner, instead of heading straight ahead to the lobby. Reina paused, then turned to follow her. Neither one said a thing, and Ai led them to a barred emergency stairway...except that it wasn't really barred. The two of them had long since figured out how to work the apparently jammed handle, and had taken advantage of the disused stairwell more than once in the past.
Curious now, Reina did not ask why Ai had led them here. Ai would speak when she wanted to. They padded up a couple of levels, near the locked door to the roof. There they sat on the dusty steps, not caring that it would sully their clothes. It didn't matter, since they would have to change to a new set of clothes for the next shoot anyway.
"Reina." Ai's voice was very quiet, even in the echo-filled stairway. Reina turned her head, but Ai already had her eyes closed, and she felt the soft silkiness of Ai's hair against her cheek as the older girl leaned on her shoulder.
"I'm so tired..." The exhaustion was more than physical, and it conveyed itself within her voice. Instinctively, Reina reached out, placing her hand over Ai's. Her own hands were smaller than Ai's, but both girls felt the warmth in the connection.
"Ai..." Reina whispered, tightening her hold over Ai's somehow chilly hands.
"Rei..." The very personal pet name slipped out without warning, and a familiar knot tightened within Reina's chest. She bit on her lower lip, rubbing the back of Ai's hand with her own thumb.
"I didn't do anything last night." Reina said quietly. She felt Ai tense against her slightly, but it passed so quickly that she wondered if she had only imagined it.
"Oh." The answer was neutral, and it teetered between them precariously, neither willing to tip the balance.
"Neither did I." The confession did not surprise Reina; she had somehow expected it. Still, hearing it from Ai herself somehow undid the strange knotted feeling in her stomach.
"Ah..." Her reply was just as eloquent. They sat there in silence, Ai still leaning against Reina with her eyes closed, and Reina staring off into space, still idly stroking Ai's hand.
How did we end up like this? Reina thought bitterly to herself, squeezing her eyes shut as well. It would be just so easy to play their usual game; flirting but not really, close but not quite. The distance between them was something too real, too raw to be touched.
The closer we get, the more we hurt each other. Things were simply too complicated between them to be solved with simple words or gestures. Too much history, too many entangled feelings to conveniently sort through.
So we keep on pretending. Reina knew exactly what she was doing, knew how abysmally stupid she was being, but finding it harder and harder not to live the lie she had created. The longer the charade lasted, the more she found herself becoming that which she had pretended to be.
I wanted to make you cry.
"We should get back." No guesses for who said that. Reina followed Ai's lead once more, standing up and dusting herself off as they plodded back down to the exit.
Shoulder to shoulder, they left the stairwell together, hands still unconsciously intertwined. For all the things they said, there was still yet more left unspoken, always left for another day.
A day neither knew when would come.
=======================================
Much, much shorter than the others. But...a lot more difficult to write. I spent a lot of time agonizing over it. D:
I hate this.
-
Reina is in love, huh? After so long being friends with benefits, now that Gaki-san's in the picture, Reina is finding herself wanting more.
Right? Am I right?
Is Risa the reason why Ai is so tired? Is her presence pulling Ai down?
Ah, I feel melancholy with this chapter, my heart is starting to say that Reina and Ai have a good thing going and Gaki is the intruder instead of the other way around.
I expect my dark side cookies to be chocolate chip....
-
This has probably got to be my favorite chapter thusfar, so don't worry about the length, ne?
ReinAi's relationship is much more complicated than it seemed at first. Reina obviously cares for Ai, or dare I say, she even loves her? With the line: 'I wanted to make you cry.' Shows that Reina is clearly trying to make Ai jealous. Is that just Reina's way of seeing if Ai cares back? Or did Ai just hurt Reina without realizing it by being with Gaki and this is some sort of 'revenge'? (Revenge isn't the word I'm looking for, but it's the only thing that comes to mind...damn my vocabulary.)
How did we end up like this? Reina thought bitterly to herself, squeezing her eyes shut as well. It would be just so easy to play their usual game; flirting but not really, close but not quite. The distance between them was something too real, too raw to be touched.
The closer we get, the more we hurt each other. Things were simply too complicated between them to be solved with simple words or gestures. Too much history, too many entangled feelings to conveniently sort through.
So we keep on pretending. Reina knew exactly what she was doing, knew how abysmally stupid she was being, but finding it harder and harder not to live the lie she had created. The longer the charade lasted, the more she found herself becoming that which she had pretended to be.
This certainly reveals a lot (but not really...) about the pair. Something obviously had gone down in their past that neither of them will ever forget any time soon. I'm very curious as to it, and whatever happened triggered their personalities now? Reina's living her life in a lie, that much is clear, but what about Ai? Is she in the same boat? Or does she really just want to continue living Nanchatte Renai (without Gaki, that is.) But it is true, what Reina was thinking. The longer she lives as a lie, the more real it becomes.
Great chapter, really. Hoping this updating spree continues. <3
-
Hey, I don't think that was bad I think it's amazing and great like always. You're such an amazing writing. If only I had your writing skills, but I'll just be a secret fan and lurker of your work. XD
But damn you! I like ReinAi, but you're making me hate them in this series! >_< Ai has been cheating on Risa with Reina? Not again! :doh: It makes me root for TakaGaki and if there isn't any in the end I'm going to be both highly angry and sad. *sighs* That's how good your writing is! It makes me go through like a wave of endless emotions that I end up yelling or cheering at my screen. It goes through so much verbal abuse from reading so many fics. lol Well you did a great job because you're making my interest for both pairings go back and forth. How I hate that sometimes. lol
-
OMG!! nononononono not RenAi....
poor Risa, she really love Ai-chan :cry:
Good job in this chapter!! :yep:
Really nice but....Takagaki has to win :twothumbs
-
Ufufufufufufufufu~
What is this we see? Something more than a nanchatte renai?? Will both of them be willing to step beyond it? Perhaps they are too comfortable with where they are at right now despite the pain. Masochists?! :O j/k j/k
Well Estrea, it seems you have pulled your readers and fans into that lovely emotional rollercoaster that you wanted them to ride. :lol:
Reinai vs Takagaki!! Who's love will reign supreme?! Let's get it on!
-
Ah..... :stuffed:
I don't know what to say. The loveliness and loneliness of it all has left me blank in the head :sweat:
but I do feel warm and fuzzy with a tinge of sadness :mon fu: :mon whimper:
lol everyone's rooting for TakaGaki after this chapter? What happened here?! XD oh wait...I missed a chapter! That must be the key XD
*goes to read*
No, don't make fun of my eyebrows. I know what you want to say.
lol great...now I have the mental image of Risa's character from h!m with the mega brows walking in the streets of Tokyo.
My father remarried shortly after the demise of the first
Illness eh? Gaki makes it sound like an "accident" :sweat:
awww...okay..I get it now :shock:
poor, poor, rich Gaki. So soft and distant...even more so than RenAi.
Hmm...this leaves me conflicted. I want to think that Ai chan charishes Risa above all others and that's why they aren't doing anything...but at the same time I think Ai chan's grown up now and thinks of Risa as a mere child...one that she cares for but still..
Ah! it might be that little sister-complex again! :O like in...that Hammy story! XD but then again Ai chan was clueless in that...I don't think Ai chan is as clueless here when it comes to her real feelings about Risa and that's why she treats her the way she does.
okay. I'm gonna root for RenAi! Must be that gentle feeling from Softly, Distantly making me bias but then again Risa deserves more and so do Ai chan and Reina :sweat:
-
Poor Rei-chan :cry: The more she is aware of her feelings toward Ai, the more it hurts her :( I think she wants some kind of reassurance from Ai, some sign that she also really cares for her and needs her. However, the lie Reina had created lasted for so long that in the end, it became the only thing she has now and it may be too late to change it into something else, so she doesn’t want to let go of it… :cry:
As for Ai, I don’t think she is herself while being with Gaki and that perhaps is tiring for her. She needs some space and Gaki living with her is too much to handle or simply, she got bored just like she'd predicted. I would like to get to know Ai’s point of view and her feelings toward both girls, maybe things would get clearer then :mon dunno:
-
Reina really had a tough decision and now its just reflect ne thing off of Ai
-
Bridge
"She was right about the eyebrows....and the forehead."
lol
Poor Risa, all the signs were indiscreetly shown
Softly, Distantly
I’m feeling sad for Risa but can’t blame Ai for finding a new one unconsciously.
Is she torn between two lovers, one innocent girl and one 'wild' girl? Or has she forgotten the first completely and fell in love with the other? Looks like it, there goes my TakaGaki in the trash bin, but I must admit ReinAi here is electrifying
Two lines that I like:
And I'm never going to let anyone take her away from me.
I wanted to make you cry.
Both are ouches for some reasons
-
it's hard to choose between AiGaki and AiReina..
your story make me love AiReina alot..
somehow i rooting for AiReina here..XDXD
reina just confess!!!!snatch aichan from gakisan.. :lol: :lol:
the reason why AiReina is more :heart: :heart:
(http://www.picamatic.com/show/2009/09/27/08/34/5224115_bigthumb.jpg) (http://www.picamatic.com/view/5224115_AiReina/)
-
Ah I think I have a clearer interpretation of your Nanchatte Renai. Ai is keeping her relationship with Risa as Risa represent a part of her innocent past where everything is much simpler and well, innocent. Which is why their relationship never go beyond a little kissing and groping ;)
Trying to keep up with the facade is tiring though, cause that's not who Ai is any longer. Reina, on the other hand, belongs to the same world as Ai and within that world itself, both girls have created their own private sanctuary where only the two can understand. This is what Reina so blatantly hinted to Risa at Ai's home.
Unfortunately, both Ai and Reina have started to live into their make-believe world and have come to realise that with the appearance of Risa. Still, neither wants to voice out for fear that it will change everything. As Woody Allen-sensei cleverly worded, it's like squeezing out a toothpaste (credits to Whatever Works)... In this case, I vote RenAi over TakaGaki (sorry Gaki-san)
Forgive my ramblings, my mind's in an AU right now...
-
Heh, since I've separated this into a proper story thread, it's time to give proper comment replies? (!!!) Sigh, time to get to work. XD
rndmn: *hands you chocolate chip dino cookies* Welcome to the dark side. Happy to have you! XD It's hard to say what there is between Reina and Ai until we actually see Ai's POV...which is not what we get in the coming chapter. More of the same...or not? I must remind you that the view is only as revealing as what is seen on the surface. What do people see? Who is the audience? Are the characters behaving that way because that's what they are or because they are in front of someone else? Think about it. :D
Sai: Reina hides her feelings, that much is obvious. She has her pride, so she won't admit that she wants attention...if, indeed, that's what she wants. Who knows? (well, I do, but that's beside the point :P) I suppose that yes, soon I'll have to reveal what happened between ReinAi in the past, but the timing has to be right. XD I'll try to update regularly~
writerjunkie: It does seem like Ai's cheating again, doesn't she? In a way, I guess she is. But what does one have to do in order to be considered cheating? Quick note, Ai hasn't done anything with Reina since Risa came, anything intimate, that is. But I guess emotionally, she's cheating. '_' Then again, what's really going on with her? We don't know because so far, we only see from Risa's and Reina's POVs, and Risa doesn't know anything about Ai. Reina does, but even she doesn't know every single thing, and she's not telling everything about what she does know to begin with. And yes, I enjoy making things complicated just to mess you guys up. :D
gab98: Does Risa really love Ai? What is love? XD Who knows? We'll see what happens. :P
Fenrir: More than just being comfortable with the pain (which they are to some degree XD), I think it's more...fear? What they have kinda sucks, but they don't know how stuff will go down if they try to step beyond it...due to all that history they have. XD I really should get round to showing that some time. :P And yes, I love torturing all my readers. Fufufufu~
Sukoshi: Glad you like it. XD We really can't know what Ai really thinks about either Risa or Reina, until we get into her head...an event I shall postpone just to make everyone wonder for longer. :wahaha: Everyone deserves more in this story, but well...just because they deserve it doesn't mean they'll necessarily get it...cos you know, life sucks. XD
peti-chan: It's hard to love someone and try to deny it at the same time. That much I can say. XD Ai is the unknown factor in the present equation, and I intend to keep it that way for a while more. Makes the mystery that much more fun. XD Sorry, but you'll have to wait a little longer for that Ai POV :P
kurosawa87: it's just a matter of letting things play out...but of course, something needs to happen first. We'll see. XD
kRisZ: ReinAi in my hands is always electrifying. :P I like their chemistry anyway. Yeah, I liked those lines too. :D
alwaysYou: I like ReinAi better. XD that's all I can say. But I won't make it easy for them either. XD Where's the fun in that? :lol: Btw, great picture. XD
badsaints: Nice analysis. You finally voiced the stuff that I wanted people to figure out. :lol: There's still more hidden behind the scenes, naturally, so your theory is only accurate as far as what you've been able to learn so far. Still, I applaud you. :D Rambling is good for the soul, do it more often! XD
Ok, that was a lot of comment replying to do. o_O Time to edit and post!
-
-squeezes in and wedges- '-'
-
-shoves Yuuchan over and wedges self in as well- '_'
-
Doll House
Risa hummed along to the music playing on the radio as she set up a framed photo at the head of the bed, as part of a small personal campaign to add touches of herself to Ai's living space.
The changes weren't large. Since there was only one bedroom, they had ended up having to share closet space; inconvenient, as Ai had a surprising amount of clothes in there. The attempts to clear a space were usually put off by Ai's busy schedule, so Risa was still pretty much living out of her suitcase for the most part.
Her next project had been to put up photos of the two of them around the house, which was easier said than done, as Risa had found out once she had started. Trying to find any picture of Ai that was not from a magazine proved to be quite a challenge. In fact, before she started, there was not even a single picture put up for display in the house, save for a small family shot out in the hall, and even that one seemed rather aged.
The picture Risa managed to dig out of her own collection was hardly the most recent either. They were still adolescents back then, and both looked somewhat different by now. Risa resolved to get Ai to take a picture with her soon. It was somehow unseemly that they didn't have a good couple shot...
Wandering over to Ai's side of the room, she helped to tidy up a little, knowing that Ai preferred to have her things neat. Without exactly intending to, she bumped into a small stack of magazines, sending them cascading into a pile on the floor. Muttering to herself, she knelt down to pick them up, intending to pile them back exactly where they used to be, then she stopped.
Quite a few of the magazines were your usual geek fare, given Ai's hobbies. That didn't surprise her. Neither did those issues of assorted fashion magazines where Ai had been featured either on the cover or within. It seemed perfectly natural for her to have kept copies of those.
What drew a frown onto her face though, were the ones with that rude girl she had met the other day. Tanaka Reina, the name seemed to leap off the page to hit her in the face. On further perusal, she also noted quite a few issues where Ai and Reina had been featured together. Some of those were dated quite a few years back, and neither of the two seemed to have changed all that much.
Well, they are in the same line... Risa reassured herself with that thought, idly stacking the scattered magazines back into a neat pile.
Pushing them closer to the corner, she spotted a shoebox behind where the pile had originally been. Curiously, she pulled it out. It was not dusty, so it couldn't have been there for very long. Reasoning that it wouldn't hurt to just take a quick peek at the contents, Risa opened the shoebox.
The music that came from the radio was the only source of sound for the next few moments, even as Risa stared at the contents of the box on her lap.
Pictures. A lot of pictures. Dozens of purikura, even more Polaroids, and assorted other shots. All were rather neatly organized in bundles, even conveniently arranged and dated.
Risa picked up the most recent photo on top. Ai was reading something on the couch in this one; the person who had snuck this shot was right next to her, expertly self-photographing to capture both herself and Ai.
Truth to be told, it was a very innocent picture...if one discounted the fact that both girls were only about half dressed. Ai was wearing nothing but an oversized shirt that barely covered her thighs, while her companion was in just a skimpy top and hot pants.
Putting that aside, Risa went after one of the older bundles of photos. Both girls in the shots were visibly younger, not that it differed that much from how they looked now. The younger Ai seemed more reluctant to be photographed, matching Risa's own memories of the Ai she knew, but evidently the enthusiastic youngster beside Ai in those pictures had been more persistent in getting her to pose.
The earlier photos were very adorable, that much Risa would admit. More often than not, her Ai-chan would be glowering at the camera, especially if it had caught her off guard. The pair shots with that annoying brat (as Risa was beginning to think of Reina) seemed to coax more relaxed smiles from Ai, and she even threw peace signs!
Feeling a growing sense of irritation with each happy, smiling photo, Risa was tempted to put them away and not continue to torture herself, but some perverse need compelled her to keep looking. She did not know what she was looking for, but in the process, she seemed to be finding out what she had missed while not being at Ai's side in the intervening years.
There were many casual shots depicting the pair. From ordinary shots of the two together at some restaurant, to more domestic scenes of them in the kitchen having what seemed like a food fight, it was evident from the pictures alone that the two were very close, if not best friends. The other alternative explanation to the pair's obvious chemistry was just as evident, but for even more obvious reasons, was completely unacceptable to Risa, so she refused to even consider it.
Putting away yet another comic shot where Reina had evidently tried to take a picture of Ai brushing her teeth (What was she doing with a camera in the bathroom? Risa couldn't help but wonder), with the older girl shoving her hand in the camera, resulting in a very lopsided shot of the mirror reflecting their grinning faces, Risa continued rummaging through the shoebox with single-minded purpose, as if trying to look for a picture that had no Reina involvement.
Another stack, bound in white paper, had the words Doll's House, 2004 written on it in English, with First Leading Role! scribbled under it in Japanese. Curiously, Risa opened up the bundle of photos. This time, it did not raise any hackles...right at first, anyway.
The assorted pictures were mostly taken with fellow actors and actresses who had been in the same play, as well as with the production crew. Each time, Ai had skilfully marginalized her presence in each shot, as if embarrassed to be on camera when it wasn't her turn to be in the spotlight.
The last one, obviously a Polaroid, was different however. Risa had not been expecting another Reina picture in this series; but then again, given the high concentration of her involvement with most, if not all of the photos she had seen thus far, she probably should have seen it coming.
Reina and Ai were shoulder to shoulder, their arms thrown around each other. Ai had already changed to casual clothing and shed her stage makeup, looking totally relaxed next to an impishly grinning Reina. Someone else had obviously taken the shot for them, since Reina's hand was not outstretched in her usual way for self-photography.
It was a very "just friends" sort of picture, but somehow it really irritated Risa. Maybe it was the way they both looked so at ease with the physical contact. Maybe it was the way Ai seemed totally unguarded and happy with Reina.
More than likely it was the scribbled words below that got her attention. It was in English characters, spelling out the names of the pair, surrounded by a heart shape. That was not all, though. On either side of the heart, Reina's and Ai's names were scrawled in Japanese, making it look thus:
Rei ♥ Ai
Risa didn't know what to think. It probably didn't mean anything...or it could. All the pictorial evidence seemed to suggest otherwise, but it could also mean that Reina and Ai were simply close friends. And if the photos could be trusted, it seemed that they often stayed over at each other's houses, given that Ai had quite meticulously labelled most of the photos.
Still lost in her own thoughts, Risa was given a jolt when a loud ringing pierced through the merry music from the radio. Nearly spilling the contents of the shoebox in her haste to get up, Risa managed to scramble to the phone and answered it, feeling oddly guilty for having been proverbially "caught" in the act, even if no one had actually seen her poking through Ai's things.
"Moshi moshi?"
"Gaki-san?"
It was Ai. Risa tried not to feel too guilty, or even worse, sound guilty as she replied in the affirmative. Ai's voice sounded appropriately exhausted, not that Risa blamed her for it. She knew that her girlfriend had not gotten more than 4 hours of sleep the night before, having had to wake up incredibly early in order to head to work.
"I don't think I'll be able to come back tonight. The management's treating us to supper after we wrap up the shoot and it's going to run late, so I'll stay over at a friend's house that's nearer to work. Don't wait up for me, ok?"
"Oh." Inner conflict raged inside of Risa. After having seen those photos, she was very tempted to ask Ai about them. Right now though, she just wanted to ask just who Ai was staying over with. Even without asking though, she had a feeling she already knew the answer.
"I'm really sorry Gaki-san, but it's better this way. I'll be back tomorrow."
The line went dead right after Risa replied with a hollow "ok", Ai evidently having to rush off to work again. It was with a heavy heart as Risa put down her phone, her head involuntarily turning back to regard the stacks of photos piled within the abandoned shoebox.
I shouldn't suspect her, right?
~*~*~
Reina looked infinitely amused as Ai ended her call with an expression of obvious relief. The older girl gave her a pointed look, as if daring the younger to say something. Which Reina obviously did.
"You know, I only live 5 minutes away from you. How is that any nearer to work?"
"Nearer is nearer. Your place is that much closer to the train station anyway." Ai replied loftily as they walked back down the corridor.
"Yeah, 5 minutes worth." They snorted quietly, sharing a quick chuckle. As they passed a small group of young models, the obviously younger (and blushing) girls stared at the passing pair, or more specifically, at Ai. Reina, not one to miss such things, remarked after they had turned a corner.
"Friends of yours?"
Ai laughed at the implied meaning in Reina's tone, but did not deny the accusation. Reina raised an eyebrow; those girls they had just walked past could not have been older than 15.
"How many?"
Ai's expression grew thoughtful. "Five out of..."
"Five." Reina finished. She slapped Ai playfully on the shoulder. "You menace!"
Ai smirked. "If it helps, I didn't really go all the way?"
"Still..."
They shared a look, before bursting out in laughter again. The staff walking by barely blinked.
Just another day at the office.
========================================================
Tralalala. :D Comment lots! :P
-
DIBS <3
Ahh...Gaki-san...oh how you piss me off. :lol: Didn't your parents teach you that it's wrong to go through other's things? Sheesh. But, at least detective Gaki found out some useful information. Or at least, somewhat useful, now she gets a small glimpse of how close Ai and Reina are, but even all those pictures could be a small fraction of what really happened in their past. :o I'm curious more about ReinAi's past...like, really really curious. :lol:
Shoebox pictures is always love. :heart: For some reason I think that is extremely cute. :heart: :heart: Ai doesn't like her picture taken, but she's a model? :lol: Figures. What was Reina doing with a camera in the bathroom, hmm? :P But it doesn't shock me that Reina managed to draw Ai out of her shell when it comes to photographs. I wonder if Gaki will ask to take a picture, and Ai's response? :O
Doll House as Aichan's first lead role = :heart: Good choice :lol:
And I'm curious about Ai spending the night over at Reina's. :o So many questions, I have for you!! But I personally don't think anything would happen, because Ai's pretty exhausted, maybe she just needs to relax someplace away from home. :)
Oh, and also, I played connect the smileys on your comment reply post. :lol: I made a DINO! (With a lot of imagination and adding on other than just connect the smileys XD)
(http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w117/saikami/Untitled-1.jpg)
-
fairly interesting, that will be some kick ass moment very soon to catch Ai in the act lol
well good job keep it up
-
This is not an update, this is just a quick look at just what kind of pics Gaki-san might have found in that shoebox...XD
http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/008.jpg (http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/008.jpg)
http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/007.jpg (http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/007.jpg)
http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/006.jpg (http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/006.jpg)
http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/005.jpg (http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/005.jpg)
http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/002.jpg (http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/002.jpg)
http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/001.jpg (http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/001.jpg)
http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/003.jpg (http://i469.photobucket.com/albums/rr59/verde_estrea/ReinAi/003.jpg)
Kekeke...
-
Risa knows!!! She knows!!11!one1! I'm really cautious about saying anything else, for now, than that.
Well, maybe she doesn't know, but I think doubt is beginning to set in. Cut your losses Risa and go back home!!
And lol at the pictures, I noticed you cut Gaki out of a few of them. :lol:
EDIT: Dino cookies!! With chocolate chips!! :heart: :heart: I less than three you Estrea-sama!
-
Secret stash of photos! *Gasp!!!
Dun-dun-dun!!!!
Poor Risa. Just let them go. Let them live in their little fantasy world.
Ai, stop chasing the jailbaits! XD
P.S: The Dino rocks! :twothumbs
-
Aww! XD Hahaha Ai-chan and the kids.. :lol: :heart:
Omg i want that shoe box!! :shocked: :w00t: Hah.. A lonely night for Risa :P
Saikami's dino pic = AWESOMENESS!!!!!! XD
Kyahh the "kind of pics Gaki-san might have found"!! :inlove: This chapter made me way too fangirly... :lol:
hihieheheiehie ^^ :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: XD :lol:
-
Somehow I couldn't stop grinning when I was reading about photos that Gaki found :D My love to ReinAi grew even bigger after this chapter XD It turned out they also had their sweet, innocent moments :heart: It again proves how strong their bond is 8) I also wonder, since Ai didn’t like to be photographed like Risa stated, maybe it was Reina who made her enjoy that and thus she’s a model now…
"You know, I only live 5 minutes away from you. How is that any nearer to work?"
"Nearer is nearer. Your place is that much closer to the train station anyway." Ai replied loftily as they walked back down the corridor.
Ai-chan you are bad and I love this about you XD
And Ai with fifteen years old girls? Does it make me weird if I think it's hot? :lol:
-
HAHA Sai you are AWESOME! :twothumbs
It's obvious Risa is in denial :(
I think I know how this story is gonna end...
-
LOL Doll House? :lol: So appropriately named as the title as well as Ai's first leading role XD Afterall, isn't that what their life is like? And oh, my previous ramblings was right? Cool!
I can't help but think the photos as a symbol of memories, which I may be wrong here. As Risa noted in this chap, Ai did not put up any photo for display, save for an aged family photo. The lack of personal touch into Ai's own home could be due to 2 reasons: 1) Ai is super neat and/or 2) no memories or person(s) is special enough to be displayed. Even the old family photo seems to suggest something about her relationship with her family. The lack of Risa's photos, on the other hand, makes Risa realise that she does not have any personal special memories with Ai and her relationship with Ai is purely based on the media and occasional cute text messages. RenAi's shoebox memories...it's pretty obvious what it meant though the lack of dust seems to suggest that it was recently stashed away :wub: Love the RenAi photos you uploaded too :inlove:
Hmm Reina is okay with Ai fooling around, with 15 years old kids nonetheless, but not Ai being committed 8)
Not sure if I'm making much sense. Maybe I'm reading too deep into the story...Oh well :P
-
Risa :cry: I so wanna hug her right now :(
Ai, don't you think it's time to say goodbye, gosh you're hurting Risa :angry:
But I wanna read the caught-in-the-act thing or confrontation thing or something :twisted: with nails digging and scratching here and there, cat fight :onionwhip:
If I will sense that there’s gonna be some action on Reina’s bed in the next update I’m so reading it with one closed eye :roll:
Pimp Ai FTW :shakeit:
But still :pleeease: Risa :pleeease:
-
Woohoo I'm finally back!
This was difficult to write, but yeah, finally got past all the roadblocks.
Comment replies first though.
Sai: Everyone's curious about ReinAi's past. I just love dangling it out of reach. XD Shoebox pictures are much love. :heart: And yes, nothing happened while Ai was at Reina's house. :P Nice dino! XD I love your imagination. :heart: :heart: :heart:
kurosawa87: There's bound to be some fallout for Ai soon. XD Keep on reading!
rndmn: Yes, I had to cut Gaki out of a few of those pictures. XDDD See, she gets in the way of ReinAi!!! *deliberately flawed logic* :lol: I agree, Risa should just go away. But who knows? XD Glad you like the dino cookies. XD
Fen: But Ai with the jailbaits is so hot!!! *morals completely wrong* XD
Fushigidane: I want the shoebox too! We should get UFA to have special candid camera style photos for the girls, ReinAi in particular. '_' I'd pay to get them.
peti-chan: Yup, ReinAi have a really strong bond. It's nice, really. Yeah, Ai-chan can just logic her way out of things. :lol: Logic is a great way to reason your way out of tight spots, as long as morality doesn't interfere. :P And no, it's not weird to find the idea of Ai with fifteen year old girls hot. I know I do too... >_>;;;; XD
Hammy: Of course you know how the story is going to end, I sent you the ending already! :P
badsaints: Their life is rather like a doll house, yes. I'm so happy you noticed all the little details I put out there. The fact that Ai is so impersonal with her living space says volumes about her. Glad you picked it up. :) And yes, the lack of dust on the shoebox memories, as well as the obsessive organization of the photos, says a lot about how often Ai looks at them. XD Reina has her reasons for reacting the way does, that's all I can say. XD And do! Do read deeply into the story! I need more victims um, I mean, people who understand. :D Thanks so much!
kRisZ: Yes, Ai is hurting Risa. She realizes that as well, as you will see in the coming chapter. Caught in the act? Soon, soon. Patience. Good things come to those who wait. :P
There. Now to edit...
-
[creeps in to do that wedging thing...]
...RUN AWAY!!
-
Closer
It was not a quiet home Ai returned to, late the following evening. The TV provided an unquiet babble to her usual silences, and the second tenant of her apartment joined in harmony with it.
"Ai-chan! There you are." Risa's greeting seemed more restrained than usual, and Ai closed her eyes, trying to shut out the dissonance she felt.
"I'm home." A bland little smile coloured those words, even as Ai clung on to the memory of the relaxing evening she had spent prior at Reina's place.
"Ah, welcome back." There was a tight, tense moment between the two girls, before Ai smoothly broke it by walking up to Risa and taking her hand in her own, a lightly teasing note in her voice as she asked.
"So, did you miss me?" Risa snorted, batting playfully at Ai's shoulder.
"Don't flatter yourself."
But the way she tightened her grip ever so slightly on Ai's hand said otherwise, and Ai smiled, gently freeing her own hand.
As she headed to her room, shrugging her coat off in the process, she could hear Risa padding quietly after her. She was about to ask if she wanted something, when Risa suddenly hugged her from behind, burying her face in her back.
"Did you want something?" Ai managed to even sound gentle, patting Risa's hands that encircled her waist.
"You're not wearing the same clothes from the day before." Risa tried very hard to keep the accusatory note from her voice, but Ai nevertheless still picked up on the fringes of it.
"I borrowed my friend's clothes." Which was true, as far as it went. Then again, it was difficult to keep track of which clothes were originally hers to begin with or something belonging to Reina. Naturally, that was another fact Risa didn't have to know about.
"Is it that Reina girl's?" Risa tried to keep her voice neutral, but it was not an easy task. Ai did not even pause as she replied.
"Yes."
Risa flinched back slightly, as if stung by the confession. It didn't take much to make that mental leap forward. Ai had all but told her out loud that she had spent the night over at Reina's.
"Why do you spend so much time with her?" Risa tried not to sound whiny, as she couldn't help but feel left out the moment Reina came into the picture. Ai glanced over her shoulder.
"She's my friend. It's how we've always been."
The matter-of-fact tone stung more than anything else. Risa couldn't help but remember the pictures she saw in the shoebox. The way Reina and Ai had been so close, were still so close, troubled her.
"But I'm your girlfriend."
"Yes." A robot would have had more emotion than Ai. The older girl seemed to be processing some kind of information within her head, and only gave the most perfunctory of answers.
"If I asked you not to see her again, would you do so?"
"No." Ai removed herself from the embrace, walking forward to her side of the room. "I don't see why there would be a problem with seeing her..." She broke off as she noticed something out of the ordinary.
"Did you move my things?" Kneeling down by the pile of magazines, Ai carefully took the shoebox out, opening the lid. The scattered contents within confirmed her suspicions.
"I..." Risa wanted to say something, but she wasn't sure what she could say. Ai started rearranging the photos back into their neat bundles, her back turned to Risa.
"Don't touch my things next time." There was a definite icy note to her words. Risa flushed, whether with embarrassment or anger, she wasn't quite sure.
"Why do you keep all those photos of her like that? Why do you even have so many photos with her?" Risa burst out, unable to keep from asking. Ai paused.
"Because Reina likes to take pictures, and she always drags me in." Ai replied evenly, continuing on in her task. Risa looked away.
"But you don't even like to be photographed..."
Ai chuckled quietly. "Gaki-san, look at what I'm doing for a living. I don't think it's a matter of liking it or not. I just have to do it. It comes with the job."
"You looked happy in those photos."
"It's fun to be with Reina." Ai answered simply, putting the lid on carefully and placing it back in its original spot. Risa stared at her own feet, before asking quietly.
"Do you like being with me?"
Ai considered that. Her momentary silence only served to fill Risa with dread, and a rising anger slowly bubbled up within her.
"Risa is nice." The response was thoughtful, yet somehow noncommittal at the same time.
It hurt. That kind of consideration hurt. Ai had stood in that moment of silence, moving quietly over to her closet to grab some clothes. Without even looking in Risa's direction, she headed in the direction of the bathroom.
Before she could get there though, Risa walked in front of her, blocking her path.
"Tell me something, Ai-chan. Which of us do you care for more?"
Ai stared at Risa blankly. The question hung between them for a long moment, before Ai exhaled in a long breath.
"Reina is Reina. Risa is Risa. Both of you are different. Don't compare yourself to her."
"You're not answering the question." Risa replied flatly, crossing her arms. A flicker passed through Ai's eyes, her jaw line tightening briefly.
"I don't want to talk about this right now." Ai finally said, wearily. She would have stepped past Risa, had the younger girl not reached out to grab her arm.
"I need to know, Ai-chan. I need to know where we stand." I need to know if you were ever mine to begin with.
"You're my girlfriend. Reina is my friend. That's all you need to know." Ai wanted to run away from this conversation. It was making her head hurt. Unconsciously, she recalled the relaxing evening she had spent with Reina again. She wished she could be there right now, lounging around on the couch with Reina and watching movies together. There were no awkward questions there. Just blissful quiet.
"Do you even love me?"
"Do you?" Ai's gaze was suddenly, almost abruptly, direct. Her eyes seemed very dark, almost bottomless in depth. Unable to meet that frank look, Risa averted her own eyes, her hands tightening into fists by her sides.
"Don't ask me that kind of question if you can't even answer that." Ai's voice was flat, almost emotionless...except not quite. There seemed to be a hidden undercurrent of old hurt, the words laced with the bitterness of faith betrayed.
"I love you!" Risa felt impelled to declare, impulsively reaching out to take hold of Ai's arm. "So tell me!" Tell me what's wrong.
Ai slowly, deliberately, ran her gaze up and down Risa's impassioned face, a hint of melancholy lingering in her eyes. With her free hand she reached out to trace Risa's cheek almost fondly, before tucking a stray strand of hair behind one earlobe.
"You don't." Ai's reply was sad, and Risa felt compelled to protest against it, and would have done so, had not Ai's finger pressed firmly against her lips to quiet her.
"What you love is your image of me. You've never really looked at me." Another helpless protest bubbled up within her throat, but was suppressed more by the worn, dejected expression Ai wore than any inability to speak.
"I am not the girl you used to know. If I ever was, that is."
"I'm willing to learn." The answer managed to wrest some surprise out of the jaded Ai, who looked at Risa more closely this time. The younger girl had her head down, her hand now clutching Ai's sleeve in a weak two-fingered grip, almost helplessly.
"I...I want to know more about you." Risa ground out bravely through gritted teeth. "If you say I don't understand, then teach me."
Ai had not expected that from Risa. She had...well, honestly speaking, she never had any expectations from the girl. From the very beginning, even before this whole mess had even started, Risa had always been peripheral to her interests. It was fun to hang out with her and Sayu together before, but Ai had always been distinctly aware of the fact that they were different from her...or was it her from them?
It wasn't until after she had met Reina that she figured out the difference in the friendships she had with them. There was definitely a difference between having to have fun, and just having fun for its own sake.
Reina was not the same as her. Ai knew that from the first day she had seen the girl. Yet for all of their differences, Reina had been able to reach out to her. She had not asked anything, merely that Ai have fun just...being. To live for the moment, to just have fun. To make full use of one's short life on this earth. That was the kind of person Reina had taught her to be.
Ai was dimly aware that Risa was still expecting a response from her, the silence hanging heavy between them. The atmosphere was thick, almost suffocating. There were so many expectations there, dragging her down, choking her. It hurt to be here.
Closing her eyes, Ai slowly exhaled to regain her wits. Her voice, when she spoke, was quiet.
"I cannot." At the obvious look of hurt in Risa's eyes, Ai continued.
"It is not something that...can...be...taught..." Every word left her lips bearing the stress of a thousand concerns. "There is...too much to tell." A shaky, brittle laugh. "I wouldn't even know where to begin, or how."
"Then start from the beginning. I'm not afraid." Risa insisted. Ai shook her head.
"You should be. There are things that you are better off not knowing." Ai's voice was dark, her eyes haunted by some shadow.
"I want to know!" Risa almost shouted, taking Ai by the shoulders and forcing the older girl to face her. "Why won't you tell me?"
Ai's lips moved soundlessly for a moment, but no sound issued from them. Something else did though. A ringtone cut through the tense atmosphere, chirping its cheery call.
It's not mine. The thought flashed through Risa's mind, even as Ai gently but firmly disengaged one of her arms in order to reach for her cell phone.
"Don't pick up." Risa's tone was tense, urgent and...afraid? Ai did not look at her, staring instead at the caller id displayed on the screen.
"Don't pick up. Talk to me." Risa all but begged Ai, tightening her grip on Ai's arm almost unconsciously. A muscle in Ai's jaw flexed stubbornly, and she quite deliberately answered the call without meeting Risa's gaze.
"Reina?"
The name had the impact of a physical blow on Risa, her face tightening into a grimace. If Ai noticed it, she chose to ignore it, focusing instead on the voice coming through her phone.
"You left your schedule book over at my place. Do you need it now or should I pass it to you next time I see you at work?"
"And when will that be?" Ai's voice regained some life to it at this mundane conversation, and Risa could not help but notice the light, flirtatious tone Ai had unconsciously (or not) adopted.
"If your schedule's up to date, that'll be next week when we're both at the agency at the same time."
"Don't make me wait so long for it~" Risa winced, any number of possible scenarios for the kind of conversation Reina and Ai were having coming to her mind. Even worse, none of them were particularly innocent.
There was a pause on the other end of the line, before Reina responded.
"Are you alright?"
No. Ai mentally said, knowing that Reina could not possibly hear her over the line, and that there was no way for the normally astute girl to pick up on her body language for cues either. Irrationally though, she still somehow expected Reina to get the hint.
She could almost sense Reina take a breath on the other side, as if about to say something, but apparently thinking better of it, since her next words were almost entirely neutral.
"I'll see you soon then." Another pause. "Take care."
"Be seeing you..." Ai all but whispered into the phone, holding on longer than strictly necessary until she heard Reina hanging up on the other end.
"Why her? Why can you talk to her and not me?" Frustration, rejection, hurt; all these things were present in Risa's voice. Ai stayed silent, snapping her phone shut and slipping it back into a pocket. Risa continued on, obviously getting more worked up by the moment.
"I'm your girlfriend, for goodness sake. And she is only, if I am to believe you, your friend." Risa's fingers were digging almost painfully into Ai's shoulders, but still the older girl remained immobile.
"I don't understand why you are so close to her...I knew you first!"
Ai looked up at that, her jaw clenching slightly. Slowly, she forced out a reply.
"Reina is...different." A pause. "She was here for me..."
"You were the one who didn't want me to be here!" Risa cried out, shaking Ai to emphasize her words. "You said that you didn't want us to get caught..."
"Did you really think Reina only just appeared recently?" Ai asked her seriously. Risa stared at her, trying to process that. Ai continued on, haltingly, as if reluctant to touch on the matter.
"She was...here...for me when I really needed it, before I ever knew that you liked me that way." Ai shook her head once, twice, as if trying to rid herself of a bad memory.
"So you do care for her." Risa concluded, not without a certain amount of bitterness in her tone. Ai looked up sharply at that, as if stung by the remark. Risa went on without heeding the warning signs, only knowing that she had to get things out into the open.
"If you two were already so close, then why did you even accept my confession to begin with?"
Stunned, Ai stiffened quite noticeably, her face paling as she assumed a defensive expression. Unease, uncertainty and reluctance flashed across her eyes, and her shoulders turned inwards, as if trying to curl into a semi-foetal position to protect herself.
"It was...I..." Ai closed her eyes, her face a fountain of emotion. Yet it was near impossible to tell just exactly what she was thinking. That was the mystery she held, the mystery that had drawn Risa so irresistibly to her, had drawn so many others. That someone who wore her emotions so openly on her sleeve could bury her innermost thoughts so deeply that no one could decipher them. It was a challenge that dared all comers to try and figure out.
"Was it just a joke? Were you just playing around? What am I to you, Ai-chan?"
Risa broke first, her eyes reddening as angry tears seeped out to trail down her cheeks. Ai sucked in a deep breath, trying to master her emotions, but finding little ground to steady herself upon.
"I was...I was..." Ai found herself at a loss for words. A multitude of images, memories really, invaded her mind. The events leading up to the day that Risa had confessed to her were still a jumbled mess, a tangle of emotions so complex that it hurt to even look at it, much less sort through it. She had known, deep down, that she wasn't being fair to Risa right from the start. Just like she wasn't being fair to all the other girls she had been with over the years.
How did I end up like this? Why did I do it...and why do I still continue?
There was no answer, at least, not any she wanted to confront at the moment. There were demons she could not fight, did not want to face. She would not face them today.
"Why are you doing this to me, Ai-chan?"
The relentless questioning backed Ai into a corner, prompting her to anger rather than remorse. If she could not face her many faults, she could at least fall back on anger. It was a very human reaction, but hardly admirable.
"You're just being paranoid." Ai snapped back, pulling away and turning on her heels. "God, I shouldn't have to deal with this."
"Where are you going?" Risa called out at Ai's back.
"Out."
The door slammed shut, leaving Risa to stand alone in a suddenly silenced apartment.
~*~*~
Ai was fuming as she stormed out of her own apartment. Too worked up to stand still, she decided to forego waiting for the elevator and just take the stairs down.
Five levels down, she paused in midstep and looked up at the ceiling, asking herself aloud.
"Why am I the one walking out when it's my house?"
The echoes gave no helpful reply, and Ai threw up her hands in frustration, before continuing her trek downwards.
The walk helped, as did the silence. Ai was someone who enjoyed peace and quiet, as well as a healthy amount of personal space. The solitude cleared her mind, returning some equanimity to her emotions. Grimacing, she tried to push the image of a distraught Risa from her mind. She had not meant to be harsh to the girl, but Risa had pushed her too far.
I need to do something about her.
Shaking her head, Ai continued on down, conveniently focusing only on one side of the problem while ignoring the other. She had had a lot of practice ignoring that particular issue that Risa had crossed the line with by even mentioning it in her presence.
She knew, one day, that she would have to deal with that as well, but just having one distressed girl was more than enough to deal with for the moment. Despite everything, she did still care for Risa, which was why she had never gone too far with the girl...at least, nothing further than whatever the younger had not openly asked for or initiated.
Regardless of reputation, Ai had never ever crossed the line with anyone. Yes, she was often somewhat...inappropriately...involved with the U-15 models at the agency, but she never did anything that they did not want her to do. It was her one principle. She would not, could not, take advantage of someone else. It went against everything in her.
Arriving finally at the ground floor, Ai crossed the lobby and headed out of the building, nodding at the security guard politely as she did.
Boots clacking on the gravel, Ai shivered and rubbed at her arms ruefully. The evening breeze held a definite chill to it, and she had neglected to bring her coat in the heat of her anger.
Pride, however, prevented her from heading back. She didn't feel like going back to pick up the pieces so quickly anyway. Her anger and frustration with the whole situation hadn't quite faded yet. With a sigh, she continued walking...then paused.
Perhaps she should have been surprised, but Ai found herself strangely at ease as a smile came automatically to her lips.
"Reina."
"You forgot this." Reina held up the battered schedule book, handing it over. Their fingers brushed briefly, but neither reacted visibly nor said anything.
"Walk with me?" Ai invited easily, and Reina nodded, falling into step beside the older girl.
The pair ambled on in silence, Reina correctly reading that all Ai needed was company, not conversation. The apparent lack of destination did not bother either girl, given that they did not intend to stray far for now.
"You came." Ai finally said. Reina smiled, tucking her hands inside her pockets.
"You needed it." Reina did not elaborate, but both knew exactly what was meant.
"I did." Ai agreed. No words of concern or thanks were exchanged, but it was never needed between them.
"You don't have anything scheduled until tomorrow evening." Reina suddenly said.
Ai made some pretence of flipping through the book. "So it seems."
"Wanna head out tonight?" This time it was Reina's turn to invite, and Ai grinned at her, replying teasingly.
"What, no cute hunk to go out with?"
Reina stuck out her tongue at her. "For your information, I have them on a waiting list. Just thought that it should be just us girls tonight." Reina finished offhandedly, as if that were all she had intended. Ai hid a smile, a warm feeling building within her. Reina was such a good girl, always so kind to her. The next thought came abruptly, and was inevitable.
She deserves better.
Suddenly cold from more than just the temperature, Ai nevertheless concealed her innermost thoughts with a lazy smile as she replied.
"Oh I suppose I could~" Ai smirked. "Someone needs to keep a kid like you out of trouble."
"Oi, just because you're over 20 doesn't give you the right to boss over me, obaa-san."
"Obaa-san???" Ai asked with mock incredulity. "Why you little..."
"Can't keep up with little me?" Reina teased, running forward and turning around to pull a face at the older girl. Ai rolled her eyes heavenward, giving Reina a few seconds headstart, before giving chase.
The results were fairly predictable. Reina had never been able to outrun her. Never would too. She could always catch up. Ai believed in that, and left everything else up to fate. She would think no more tonight, and just allow herself to have fun.
Tomorrow could take care of itself. Right now, there was only her...and Reina. She smiled again.
That was all she ever needed.
==============================================================
This was awfully difficult to deal with. Had to spread the writing of this over several days just to recover from all the mental and emotional shocks in between. I'm overly sensitive. XD
Anyway, comment lots!
EDIT: :O No wedging and running, jafeijai!!!
-
I cried a little. No, really. I love reading about heartbreak and negative emotions when I'm happy, it reminds me to be grateful. Risa and Ai's relationship really hit me in a still sensitive place, I felt for Risa, who loves so innocently(if a little jealously, with good reason), and for Ai, who is a spiral of darkness and experience(jaded and thinking that she's cold).
And then Reina represents hope for Ai and pain for Risa. I, again, don't want to make any predictions solidly, but I think this story might continue in one of two ways(possibly three). I can only look forward to the next chapter to see if my unspoken wishes come true.
My three favorite musume in a love triangle... I'm attached like paper and glue.
-
A lot of shock in there, Risa is trying to push herself into the picture but Ai doesn't seem want to admit that Reina is more the "girlfriend" than a "girl friend." It strikes quite a dagger through the heart and especially the whole process you have to pause after a while to expect the next sentence to come up to strike you again.
Good Job
-
Nanchatte~ :P
Loving the drama. :thumbup Though why does it seem like everyone likes to put Risa through so much pain? :cry:
Ai's course of action is a definite case of escapism. :smhid
-
Reading your fic is dangerous to my health
-
Ah, in the end Ai-chan is just a coward.
Tsk, tsk.
-
Not a huge TakaGaki fan but that hurt reading their tense exchange. For Risa of course, since Ai is rather complex for me right now. Is it going to be RenAi, or TakaGaki to prevail to the end, or will Ai just keep hurting people (however unintentional)?? Can't wait for your next update.
-
sad!! poor Risa....
i am emo now :cry:
-
Aww i love Reina and Ai together! :heart: Ha you write the situation so well :D Having something/someone as a problem but then there's the friend who's always fun to be with. ^^ :heart:
-
Gosh, I just got home and though I'm very, very tired I had to read it and comment XD
It was sad to read about heartbroken Gaki, really :cry: I of course don't want her to be with Ai :P But still I wish she would get her happy ending(then again in real life not everyone get their happy endings, nee? XD) And omg, Ai is a total emotional mess and it seems only Reina is able to put her mind at ease. It's amazing how they understand each other :heart: I also think Ai’s emotions could be easily displayed on some diagram up, up, up when she is with Reina and gradually down, down, down when she is back with Risa :lol: There is this drastic contrast in how she feels around each girl. However, I also get a feeling that Ai wants to protect both girls from herself…
I'm curious about what happened in the past. Was it like Ai was hurt and Risa just happened to be there, what's more, conveniently confessing to her? Dunno...
And damn, after reading this story I have problems with coming back to my fluffy RenAi Revolution world :( XD
-
Ah, I've been a bad reader. I've been reading but not commenting. I'll try to make up for it with a longer comment this time~
This chapter is so tension filled, gahhh it had me grimacing while I read it. Gakisan is almost like a parent admonishing a child, telling Ai she needs to grow up and face her problems, but instead she just continues to run away (ha, that sounds so cliche, running away from her problems). Ai seems to use her "nanchatte" relationships to distract herself from reality, and that probably explains why she's so drawn to Reina- the girl helps her relax and forget about her problems. Ai can have fun and throw reality to the wayside. Hmm, my analysis is starting to sound oddly like my own predicament... but anyway, back to the story.
The title is definitely interestingly fitting, since Risa's tirade has the alternate of her intended effect: it pushes Ai further from herself and closer to Reina. The plot is definitely building up to the point where can't Ai can't continue escaping to play childish games to distract herself, she's going to have to address her insecurities and then of course resolve that love triangle.
I wish I could write such depth... it's hard to write emotion filled stories since they affect me so much. Kudos to you Estrea-sama and your mad writing skills -bows down- I might as well insert some emoticons too: :bow: :bow: :bow:
-
this story's getting a little more complex now that we've seen Ai's POV...
How did I end up like this? Why did I do it...and why do I still continue?
Ai's character was really complicated... poor Gaki-san. :cry:
-
Aww T_T Such a sad chapter...
It seems to me that Aichan definitely cares for Reina more, but even if she didn't, Risa is too jealous to see past it. :/ It really irritated me that Risa would ask Ai not to see Reina ever again. :tama-mad: I can understand that Risa is upset about everything, it's understandable to be, but still... Like Aichan said, Reina's been there all along, they have such a great bond, and if Risa wants to ruin that, I say Ai should get rid of her now. :lol: I just realized how angry that sounded...
Then Risa pulled out the love word. :O I was wondering what Ai would say to that if it was ever brought up, and well, good job Sis...You got me to feel bad for Gaki. :shocked: Mostly 'cause I can relate, or, kinda. I can relate to Ai :sweatdrop: but it still hurts to even see people have that said to them. :cry: At least Ai finally spoke the truth, though. Heh, it was needed to be said.
It doesn't shock me that Reina just calls in the middle of this. :lol: Such bad timing, the poor yankii. But I like the fact that although Aichan seemed to have normal(?) responses on the phone, Reina still knew something was up.
And Aichan walking out of her own apartment LOL. Then realizing that she shouldn't have to walk out of her own place like that, but having too much damn pride to go back. XD I knew you had to make some funny moment in this somewhere. :P Reina waiting for her is :heart:
As much as I feel bad for Gaki...ReinAi still makes me all :wub:
PS - Glad everyone liked my dino. :heart: :lol:
-
Oh man....WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?! Why did you have to make everyone so torn and sad? *ponders* Oh right, cuz it's you XD
I really think Ai and Risa should break off so she can go with Reina. Won't everyone be better off this way? Sigh, but things won't be solved that easily.
The thing I wanna know is, why did Ai accept Risa in the beginning? It was obvious she could never feel for her the way she does for Reina :(
Poor everyone :cry:
-
:cry: The whole exchange between Ai-chan and Gaki-san is very saddening.. but it kind of bring me into the story much more..
Gaki-san is like this part of her that is from her past which keeps on bringing and reminding her what she uses to be or might still be on the inner side of her - which is think Ai-chan might have lost it or have lost most of it when she came to the "big city" and becomes the big thing.
Reina is more or less like how Ai-chan is now..happy with things as they are..living without much plans and just passing the days as it is..
Not much of Reina is being written.. don't really know what was Reina thinking most of the time..like when she took the earring from Ai-chan room..was it really her earring? or was it Ai-chan's? This is what i thought.. i might be wrong too and unable to read between the lines :cry: ~ XD But actually i really want to see all this in Reina's point of view :)
And~ It never fails to put a smile on my face whenever i read about someone writing about Reina running and someone definitely is able to catch up with her.. :lol:
:D
-
Sorry! I'm late for my comment! And well I think I'm late for the other chapters before as well, sorry about that. :nervous
I'm not really a good commenter that and well, I can't seem to focus easily when reading fics sometimes. But I have a comment now and I should probably stop delaying it right now! lol So on with it!
Ah damn it! You're making me feel so bad for Rissa, possibly a little for Ai too. I'm more angry at her though for the most part. I'm not really sure about that, because I have so many mixed emotions right now! >_<
I can't even tell where to start or what to say it is that I'm feeling! lol Damn it.
That just goes to show you that chapter is very good and very well written as usual. ^_^
I love fics that are able to bring some sort of emotion to me and not many do or at least fanfics don't have such a huge impact to me like your fic does here with the latest chapter you've posted and many before it.
I want TakaGaki to stay together even more now! Even if Ai might not want that and not love Risa, because she probably loves Reina and I do NOT like that!
lol My interest for ReinAi in this has gone down. Maybe I'm starting to hate them too. Just for this fic I think though.
I hate seeing poor Risa getting hurt as if we don't see that enough in Hammy's fics! *glares at her* but if I really didn't like it I wouldn't have read this fic or Hammy's, but I guess I'm just sadistic and love to read fics like this. lol *shrugs*
I hope you can update soon. I need an update to see how Ai deals with her problems.
No happy ending for this fic, huh? *pouts*
-
I need to stop lurking here. XD
Anyway, I'm going to the dark side and go for RenAi. Ai obviously have feelings for Reina right? TakaGaki on the other hand, Risa's clearly upset and jealous about Ai hanging out with Reina.
Ah, TanaTakaGaki. I love triangles. <3
I'm really starting to like this story Estrea. :D
-
I'm still on catch up mode~ A couple more moons should do it! XD
She deserves better.
Grrr....that makes me angry at Ai chan :grr:
I mean here she's thinking that Reina deserves better but what about Risa?! :on thumbb: (lol deja vu moment XD)
I'm thinking Ai chan might consider leaving Reina, for her own good and all, but would avoid breaking up with Risa...unless Risa asks for it. Well I hope that's not the case...that's just so lazy and cruel :sweat:
Once again I'm thinking the story is so wrong yet so right :mon star:
-
Back!
Comment replies first. XD
rndmn: Is it bad to admit that I was happy to know that you cried? It's like a compliment to what I've done. XD But yeah, this love triangle is really hard to resolve, and I'm curious about how you think it could end! XD
kurosawa87: Glad you liked it. And thanks. XD
jafeijai: Good, you didn't run away! :D I'm putting everyone through a lot of pain, not just Risa. So...that really doesn't make it any better, does it? XD; And yes, Ai is just being escapist. Sigh...
kRisZ: Uh, sorry for raising your insurance rates? :P
Fenrir: She isn't the only one. :P
aussie: Risa is probably the easiest to understand out of the three of them. Which is probably why sympathies tend to lean towards her. Oh well. XD Keep on reading to find out!
gab98: Awww don't be emo...:P
Fushigidane: I love Reina and Ai together too! But I'm still very evil to them hmm...XD
peti-chan: Of course you don't want TakaGaki, even if you feel sorry for Gaki. XD The relationship between Reina and Ai is more complicated than that, actually. But well, it's close. And you're pretty right about how Ai just wants to protect both of them from herself... I'll reveal the past when it's convenient to do so. XD Which should be...soon. XD
GoodEngrish: I'm glad the chapter had its intended effect. :) Yeah, Ai pretty much has to stop running and just...deal...soon. Oh and thanks. XD I'm just an emo being to be able to write so much emo stuff, really. >_>; Haha. XD
cogi_yoshi: Ai always ends up complicating things. It's her nature?
Saikami: Haha you're always so biased towards ReinAi. <3 XD Lol of course you have to feel bad for Gaki, she got into something that she really shouldn't have, but it wasn't really her fault to begin with, and stuff just happened and yeah... Yeah Ai walking out of her own apartment was funny and pretty much like her to do so...XD I like how Reina is so attuned to her too.
Hammy: Yeah of course I gotta hurt everyone, it's me! XD Of course things won't go easily as well...see above reason. XD As for why Ai accepted Risa, well, that's the million dollar question...
amEthystx: Mhm, things have changed for all of them. I deliberately hold back certain POVs to keep things interesting. People have to wonder, "just what is ____ thinking when something is happening?". Different views reveal different things. Glad you like the story though. :D
writerjunkie: Lol I'm sorry for messing up your emotions? :P That's the whole point of the story? XD Awww why the hate for the ReinAi here? XD I like hurting Risa...but then again I like hurting Reina and Ai even more. o_O Hmm...XD Well you'll see what happens here~
Hotaru: Yes you need to stop lurking. :P I like love triangles too. XD And thanks!
Sukoshi: There you are! I was wondering what happened to you. Ah yes, Ai-chan can be quite frustrating... I'm glad you like how the story is turning out hehe.
17 comments! That's a lot! Thanks everyone! :D
The next chapter is a little...hmm....not quite up to standard to me. It seems to be lacking something, but I'm not sure exactly what. Hrm. But it works for now.
Now to edit and post...
-
-wedge- :heart:
-
Crazy About You
"Ai-chan, are you ok? Oi, can you still stand straight?"
A slightly incoherent giggle escaped the older girl's lips. Standing might still have been within her capabilities at this stage, but standing straight was obviously out of the question. Likewise, walking was within her limits, but other little things such as negotiating stairs were a much more hazardous activity.
Reina sighed. She had known for a long time that Ai had always been a lightweight at alcohol. She wasn't that much better herself either, but her reaction to being tipsy was...significantly different.
"Just let me get the door open so you can pass out inside, ok?" Her voice was unusually gentle, and behind her, Ai nodded groggily, weaving unsteadily towards her.
After letting the keys slip a few times, Reina finally managed to get the door open, guiding Ai in after she did. Obviously, she wasn't completely sober either, having had a few drinks herself, but she hadn't gone over her limit. Other than a slight buzz and flushed skin, the 19 year old bore no other significant signs of intoxication.
They bumped around in the dark for several moments, Reina always having trouble locating the inconveniently located light switch. Ironically, Ai was the one who got to it first again, despite being in less than perfect condition at the moment.
Blinking rapidly at the sudden illumination, Reina found herself pressed into the wall as Ai's weight teetered back to lean on her slight frame.
"Tired..." Ai whimpered, breathing into Reina's neck as she burrowed into the warmth of the younger girl. Reina breathed out slowly, gently pushing back to get some space between them.
"Let's get you to bed." Reina suggested, helping Ai remove her shoes and taking off the heavy coat, tossing the latter negligently at the couch. Like a child, Ai only stood there and rubbed at her eyes sleepily, moving only after Reina had removed her coat. She certainly didn't need any help finding Reina's room, or the bed for that matter, even in her drunken state. Such things were already carved into her subconscious.
Reina stood at the entrance of the hall for a moment, watching Ai. Partly to make sure that the older girl wouldn't stumble and fall over (she didn't), but mostly because...
Ah, what does that matter?
Reina shook her head to dismiss the ringing headache that felt like it was building at the bridge of her nose. Removing her own coat, she crossed into the tiny kitchen, pouring herself some water from a flask. She downed the glass in a single gulp, before turning to the fridge and checking to see if she had any milk left.
There was. Reina didn't even bother pouring the milk into her glass. She simply drank it straight from the carton. There hadn't been much left, so she made short work of what remained.
Leaning against the counter, Reina rested her arm over her eyes, letting the momentary darkness wash over her senses. That didn't last long though, before she abruptly straightened and left the kitchen, but not before putting the now empty carton into the correct bag of trash.
Tanaka Reina was not someone who liked the dark. However, she did not live in the light either. It was a peculiar dichotomy, but something she had learned to live with.
Particularly when someone so close was even further in the darkness. Standing at the entrance to her own room, Reina hesitated. She felt more than saw Ai's presence in the dark room, the light from the entryway barely penetrating the shadows here.
Something rustled; Ai's even breathing hitching slightly as she shifted. All these things Reina did not have to use her eyes to discern. Her step was soft so as not to disturb the slumbering girl, and Reina sank to her knees by the bed, laying cat-like eyes on the sleeping girl on her bed.
"You're going to catch a cold like that..." Reina murmured, her touch lingering on Ai's face for longer than necessary, stroking the soft skin of her cheek absently. The older girl had her jaw hanging half open, and her top had ridden up a little during all that shifting. Her skin was heated under Reina's touch, but she remained still and peaceful, hardly disturbed by the contact.
Wordlessly, Reina pulled the covers over Ai, struggling a little since Ai kept trying to kick them off unconsciously. The older girl twisted around in her sleep, a frown wrinkling her brow as her fingers clenched into fists on the sheets.
Reina laid one hand over Ai's, trying to calm her a little, but the muscles remained tense under her touch. Lips pulled back into a grimace, and Ai moaned incoherently in her sleep, as if she was in pain. Sweat soaked through her hair, and Reina held on helplessly, unsure of what to do.
"Ai-chan, it's ok, you're safe..." Reina soothed softly, pushing Ai's hair back from her sweaty face. "No one's going to hurt you..."
"Rei..." Ai mumbled, settling down slightly. Reina leaned in and pressed her own forehead against Ai's, as if to reassure her with the closeness.
"I won't let anyone hurt you, Ai." Reina whispered, her voice catching in her throat. Swallowing heavily, Reina bit her lower lip nervously, her gaze falling on Ai's parted lips.
They hadn't had any intimate contact in a while. For all of how she made light of the casual relationship they shared, Reina knew that they very rarely actually went much past making out on the couch. On the one or two occasions where they went past that unspoken line, there had always been some extenuating circumstances surrounding them. It was as if they didn't dare to go any further unless something forced them to reach for that level of intimacy.
Tentatively, Reina leaned down and pressed her lips against Ai's own, savouring the contact she hadn't felt in some weeks. Ever since that Gaki came along... She thought a little darkly. The stolen contact felt awfully familiar somehow, like a bizarre case of déjà vu.
Reina knew exactly what caused it. A long time ago, she had done the exact same thing to Ai, under almost exactly the same circumstances. Except Ai hadn't been as out of it as she had seemed then, and the relationship between them hadn't been quite as warped as it was now.
At least now, she reasoned, Ai would not mind the kiss. Then again, if she had minded back then, certain things wouldn't have happened. That night had changed everything.
If I hadn't done anything, if she hadn't responded, if tomorrow had never come...
If only I hadn't let her go...
She trailed her fingers down Ai's cheeks, smoothing the stray strands of hair away almost absently. Their relationship had started complicated, and it had only gotten progressively more so as time went by. There were too many things between them that had been left unsaid, and even more matters untouched.
Ai had, as always, only sought to protect her. Reina had realized that early on. She had enjoyed being protected at first, being very much a girly girl that way. There was just something oddly reliable about Ai, despite the older girl being just as small as Reina herself was.
But in the end, they were both still girls, still human, with their own vulnerable sides. Reina ground her teeth together, bile rising in her throat. She had wanted to protect Ai as well. But she couldn't, because Ai wouldn't let her.
Am I not enough for you? I wanted you, but you turned away.
It hurt back then. It still hurt now. To be so close, yet not close enough. To see Ai with other people, smiling a smile that didn't reach her eyes, was like a knife to the heart. Ai had never looked at her straight in the eye after that night. Reina only wanted Ai to look at her. Only her, and no one else.
Going out with others helped to distract her. Reina made more social contacts, fished assorted benefits out of an increasingly long string of "boyfriends", and got some vindictive pleasure out of catching the buried hurt in Ai's eyes whenever she mentioned her other activities.
I wanted to hurt you, because then all your pain would belong to me.
Reina's hands wandered a little, before she pulled back abruptly. She tended to get a little frisky when tipsy, and that might have contributed to what happened that time too.
And that is why we try not to get drunk together anymore.
Desire, frustration, and anger burned within her. Reina stared at Ai's sleeping face, and suddenly hated her from the very core of her being. Hated her for walking into her life, hated her for rejecting her, hated her for still being here without actually being with her.
Settling into a cross-legged position on the floor, Reina continued glaring...a state that didn't last for long. For all of her attitude, she could never hold real malice for Ai. Not when she still cared for the older girl so much.
"I want you so much it hurts..." Reina muttered to herself, bitterly. On the bed, Ai tossed restlessly again, her forehead creasing as if in pain. Still very much caught in the clutches of a dream, Ai muttered intelligibly for a while, before something very clear came from her lips.
"Rei, I'm sorry..."
Reina jerked upwards at the sleepy words, visually confirming that Ai was still asleep, but had said that nevertheless. Clapping one hand over her own eyes, Reina breathed out slowly, trying to process those words. What sort of dream would prompt them?
That, and she only ever calls me Rei when we're alone...
Sighing, Reina rested her head on the bed, confusion running through her. She wanted to ask Ai so many things. She half wanted to wake the older girl right now, and demand those answers. She deserved an answer. She had waited long enough for one.
And yet, she did not. Because she was afraid of the answer. Because having Ai like this was better than not having her at all.
Reina closed her eyes, upset at her own cowardice. Upset at her own malice, at her own weakness. She had done her own fair share of disservice to Ai over the years. If Ai had apologized, even if it was just in her sleep, then Reina had to do the same.
Stubborn pride combined with a growing drowsiness robbed Reina of that opportunity as she drifted off to sleep right where she was. Before she lost consciousness completely, she mumbled out loud, almost too softly to be heard.
"I love you, Ai..."
Silence, save for twin rhythms of breathing set just out of tune with each other. A sigh out of the darkness.
"I know."
~*~*~
Reina jerked awake with a start, finding herself on her bed. A quick glance at the clock showed that she had nodded off for almost an hour.
Looking around, she noticed that she was alone in bed. Ai was nowhere in sight, and something in Reina's chest squeezed together painfully.
Shifting out of bed, Reina recalled that she had not fallen asleep on the bed. Clearly, someone had carried her onto it and tucked her in. Pouting just a little, Reina rubbed at her temples forcefully, as if to expel the cloud from her mind.
A single line of light coming from under the door leading to the bathroom gave her pause, before she padded over and opened the door.
The bright light made her squint and retreat a few steps, but not far enough to not see Ai's clothes dropped in a pile by the bathtub. The woman in question was currently soaking inside, completely at ease even with Reina's intrusion.
One eye opened lazily to regard the younger girl, before Ai spoke.
"Take a shower and join me in here." Ai commanded easily, and Reina's lips twitched in something resembling amusement.
"Hurry up, the water will get cold." Ai mock-whined. Reina grinned helplessly and stepped into the bathroom.
"Oh, and turn down the lights too."
Reina did. Her headache felt a lot better once the lights were dimmed.
"Well, what are you waiting for?"
The door slammed shut.
========================================
Hmmm....
-
Dibs :heart:
Ahh, this chapter made me all mushy inside. :lol: ReinAi's relationship is definitely a unique one. Poor Reina. :/ She really does love Ai... So I'm assuming that what triggered their first intimate encounter was alcohol? :lol: Oh, the beauty of alcohol. But Reina's only 19. :O Shame shame~!
Now we know Reina's POV on things, but what about Aichan's? She knows Reina loves her...yet keeps her wrapped around her finger. Is that because Ai truly loves Reina back, but is afraid of admitting it/afraid of hurting Reina (although she already is...)? If she wants to protect Reina so badly, then why is she putting her through all this? >_< This relationship is so complicated, I just want to know more about it! (I think I say that about every single reply I give here XD)
...Bath...ReinAi...I know it's wrong but I demand a perv!! :on comhere:
Oh yeah, and:
There was. Reina didn't even bother pouring the milk into her glass. She simply drank it straight from the carton. There hadn't been much left, so she made short work of what remained.
(http://www.cat-world.com.au/images/CatMil1.jpg)
I know it's in a glass, but I couldn't find a picture if a kitten with it's head in a milk container. :lol:
-
Rei :heart: Ai
awesome chp..
i love how this make me go :cry: with reina..
their first intimate make their relationship changes..
and somehow i think that something happen to aichan before that make her frown even she sleep and reina saying this part
"Ai-chan, it's ok, you're safe..." Reina soothed softly, pushing Ai's hair back from her sweaty face. "No one's going to hurt you..."
"Rei..." Ai mumbled, settling down slightly. Reina leaned in and pressed her own forehead against Ai's, as if to reassure her with the closeness.
it's sad to see reina doing things just to hurt aichan..why dont just SNATCH her from gakisan.. :roll:
it's getting complicated..
and AiReina in bathtub together.. :w00t:
can i expect a perv... :lol:
-
You made me cry! :fainted: Poor, poor Reina she loves Ai soo much :cry:
And geez, I don't get Ai's strategy :? If she so badly wants to protect Reina, if she is aware of her love and if she states that she doesn't deserve for her then the only option she should choose is to leave Reina alone, tell her something along the lines "you should find someone better" and "sayonara forget me" but yeah, yeah, I know it would be too easy :P The question is what would hurt Reina more staying with her or leaving her.
Anyway, I want to believe that Ai hadn't left Reina 'cause she loves her and somewhere deep inside wants Reina just as Reina wants her but who knows what are you having there for us :P Reina's words also made me wonder if Ai was somehow badly hurt by someone :?
And maybe Ai actually, blames herself for what happened between them back then and feels responsible for everything turning so complicated and for turning that Reina into Reina she is today so let's say, emotionally numb towards others(except Ai). That's why she doesn't want to "taint" Gaki...
And yet, she did not. Because she was afraid of the answer. Because having Ai like this was better than not having her at all.
:cry: :cry: :cry:
It's my favorite chapter this far, though it's so sad, but still something was boiling in my gut when I was reading it XD And we really, really need to know what happened behind those closed doors :P
-
wooa i love the drama XD love this fic
Though it gives me sadness that ai does not want more to Gaki, but I like the renai :rofl:
-
Good relationship between them two, even though Reina couldn't drink she just took everything from Ai (you know when you have to deal with drunk people :lol:)
I love this :heart: I rarely do Reina/Ai because of conflicts I can see but you make it work every time Good Job :thumbup
-
I think I'm beginning to understand the RenAi relationship a little bit more with this last chapter on where Reina stands. And yet, where she doesn't stand. I still don't want to make any guesses on what kind of turn the story will take, especially since I'm not entirely sure which couple to root for.
You know, I was just reading a comment I made more than two years ago, where I said TakaGaki was not my favorite pairing, though was high on my list. And then I was amazed at how much my thinking had changed since then, since that is my current favorite couple right now. Then I began to wonder, maybe my thinking could change again...
-
Ah, since you were wondering what happened to me, my disappearance was actually caused in part by you and Hammy san XD
You were making fun of Hammy for her "kdrama-ness" with GA...well actually I'm guilty of that too :sweat: but then I started thinking that I haven't watched a good kdrama in a while...and well...28 episodes and a couple movies later..I made my way back XD
_________________________________________________________
awww new chappie has me all :mon whimper:
poor kitty...makes you want to buy her lots of milk :mon whimper:
but what's this I see? Perhaps a glimmer of hope? :mon dunno:
Hmmm...if Ai chan knows and was all erm..inviting at the end... :mon bath: I wonder if this could mean that she's actually going to give her relationship with Reina a chance. Well unless this is Ai chan being all kind before she ditches both Reina and Gaki :grr: I can totally see you writing that! :on blackhole:
I'm probably the only one that finds humor in how Gaki and Reina both resent each other :lol:
-
nEw Chapter! :frustrated:
I guess being selfless in a relationship is very much the hardest thing to do.. forgetting someone you love is always easier said then done, don't they?
Give Rei-rei some love soon ok?~~~~~ :tantrum: XD
Probably you have the most complicated Ai of all the fanfic i have read..haha.. and pretty much a very very complicated triangle love too..I kinda like this version of Ai-chan with very sophisticated thinking..But then again.. even so.. but i'm sorry to say if i am in the story, i might walk up to Ai and smap her really hard on the head.. (Sorry Ai-chan.. :on speedy:) cause she broke both Gaki's and Reina's heart :gyaaah:
I'm really eager to find out about the rest of the story you had in mind~~!
OtsukaREINA :hee:
:mon bat: *poof*
-
LOL this is getting complicated as it goes; but I love how you actually explore the emotions of your characters. Well, life is complicated afterall. :P
It's obvious how they meant to each other though neither is willing to openly take the next step (for fear of breaking the bubble enveloping them and having to face their own feelings). "I wanted to hurt you" If you can't get someone to show love, the other way you get that person to show her emotion is by hurting her (and get sick satisfaction from it). "She deserves better" This is one of Ai's way of protecting Reina, knowing that she will hurt Reina the most the closer they are. But they are human (though just a character here) after all, despite knowing the pain that comes with it, selfishly refused to let go.
I'm interested in how you will manipulate, erm develop, your characters as the story goes on... :lol:
-
@rnd: No you are NOT, gonna to switch your fav pairing. How am I gonna survive if you become a RenAi writer too? NO MORE TAKAGAKI fics forever? I'm just die!! :cry:
@Sukoshi-chan: This Kdrama addiction has got nothing to do with me. Honest XD
I can't believe I'm feeling for Reina. I guess I can't really dislike her character now. She seems to love Ai so much. Who knows maybe even more than the bean. ARGH, can you put these 3 out of their misery already? It's too painful to read your fics :lol:
-
What's this? What's this?
There's angst everywhere
What's this?
There's indecision in the air
What's this?
She can't believe her eyes
She must be dreaming
Wake up, Ai, this is your usual love affair.
*grabs some popcorn and watches the battle between takagaki vs reinai
:lol:
Forgive me, I'm really sleepy right now. lol
-
AWWWWWW SNAP.
Ai knows that Reina loves her, and...
Oh crap, Reina loves her. :cry: :cry: :cry: I can't help but feel bad for her.
I agree with Saikami: PERV NAO. (Just kidding. XD)
-
Every time I see an update, it feels like :w00t: and when I knew I'm almost done reading, it feels like :panic: and wished it's longer :grin:
Mysterious, very mysterious and such a brainteaser. Question mark is everywhere but every chapter’s very well written I must say. Every update holds its own ambiguity with attached sadness leaving a reader wanting for more and hope that the next update will pop sooner (like in a couple of hours :grin: ), because it really does hurt reading this fic. It’s like if someone wants an emo time, this is the right place and fic.
-
Oh look, I'm back! Wow! XD
Comment replies first, then you get you new chapter. Patience. XD
Sai: Mhm yes, the reason for their first time was totally drunkenness. And temporary insanity, which could be blamed on the drunkenness as well. XD And the fact that Reina is underage will soon be a factor as well...as you will see. Hehe. It's hard to explain right now the tangle of emotions between Reina and Ai, I could explain them to you know, but that would spoil a lot of the fun of the story. :P Maybe after the fic is done I'll post a reflection of sorts about the ReinAi relationship to clarify anything that wasn't blatantly stated in the story itself. And sorry about that perv, you're not really getting it, but you get a suggestion of it? :D Nice kitty pic too! <3
alwaysYou: Sex changes a lot. It could have either a positive or negative effect on a relationship, depending on what's going on. In this case, it's really hard to tell at the moment what went wrong, because there's more than meets the eye (as usual XD). Reina is surprisingly gentle in person...that's what I think of course. All that cocky attitude is just a pose. She's a good girl really. As for perv....hm. XD
peti-chan: Well, Ai is torn between selfishness and altruism. She needs Reina (for a reason I have yet to reveal, beyond the fact that OMG SHE LOVES HER which she refuses to admit), and it's hard to let go. Even harder to push Reina away because she knows Reina wants to be with her even though its hard to be together like this. Of course, everything's all messed up so what she wants is mixed up with what should be done for the greater good, and basically, she's stalling. XD And Reina's stalling too. Both of them are just such huge idiots. XD Ai has a lot of issues here, but Reina, really, should have been more proactive. But then who can be objective about someone they love? Hmmm....
gab98: Yay drama! Glad you like lol. XD
kurosawa87: Reina/Ai have a lot of conflicts, I agree. That's what makes it challenging, because I find them oddly compatible when you really analyze their little characteristics. They'd probably fight like crazy, but they could still be madly in love...given that they fall in love that is. Heh.
rndmn: Hehe, at this point it's probably best to not root for couples, but to root for the individual. Once the individual is saved, then we can talk about couples. That's my advice lol. It would be awesome if I could change your mind again... ;)
Sukoshi: So what k-drama were you watching? :lol: Btw your lack of faith in my ability to write a happy ending is very touching. XD Naw, I find it funny that Reina and Gaki resent each other too. After all, I wrote it. :P
ame: Love is both selfless and selfish. Contradictory, but true. XD I like complication, it makes my head hurt, but it's fun to work things out. Give Ai-chan a chance, I'm the evil one here. She's as much a victim as well as a perpetrator...as are the other two in the story. Think about it. XD It'll make sense eventually.
badsaints: Yeah, they're both afraid of making that step, even though that step could fix (or ruin) everything. That's probably why they're not making that step. Lol. Humans are selfish indeed. I shall continue to manipulate develop my characters! :D
Hammy: Be honest hammy, you've practically switched over to GakiKame. :P And if you want TakaGaki, write them yourself. '_' That's what I do with ReinAi... >_> Hehe of course you can't dislike Reina, the point here is to make sure that everyone's all torn over how broken everything is. :D Hehehehe. What, put them out of their misery? You mean kill them like you do? Car crash, the end. :P I could do that, but everyone would hate me. :lol:
Fen: Awww Fenfen you're cute when you're sleepy. XD I like the takagaki vs reinai battle too. :D
Hotaru: Yeah, it always sucks to be in love. It's awesome, but sometimes it sucks. XD Especially in this kind of story...no perv, but lime? :D Will that be acceptable?
kRisZ: Hehe I'm glad that my updates are so eagerly anticipated. :3 I like hurting people. :D -is a sadist- Hope you'll like this new chapter as well~
Ok finally done. That took a while. Lol.
Now to edit and post...oh and warning, some graphic imagery ahead. It's not a full perv, but well, it's something. I'm too lazy to write a blow-by-blow account of what happened anyway. :P And the questionable bits have been screened by our chibi lolibait gracious mod, Yuuchan, who hath pronounced it alright for general viewing...more or less. :D
Ok now to really edit. XD
-
-wedges- '_'
-
Time Limit
"This is nice."
"Oh? What is?" Fingers splashed lightly across the water, leaving ripples in their wake. Eyes half-lidded, a lazy smile played on her lips as she replied.
"Being here like this." The warmth was making her more than a little drowsy. Granted, it was about 3 in the morning. Reina had never been that much of a nocturnal creature. That had always been Ai's domain.
That said, her drowsiness was obviously lowering her sense of awareness. Reina had never seemed more kittenish than right now, cuddled up in Ai's arms. Both girls were naked as the day they were born, given that they were currently soaking in the bathtub.
"We should get in the bath together at 3 in the morning more often then." Ai teased, burying her face into Reina's damp hair.
Reina pouted. "That's not what I meant, and you know it."
"Guilty." Ai admitted freely, burrowing lower to nuzzle at Reina's neck, drawing a purr from the younger. "I've missed you."
The pithy admission drew a familiar surge of emotion from Reina, a surge of emotion she just as swiftly suppressed for one simple reason: it never went any further than this. This was the closest she ever got to getting anything resembling a confession from Ai.
"We've been hanging out since the day before." Reina reminded her in a neutral tone. Their fingers were interlocked on top of Reina's stomach, and neither seem repulsed or even embarrassed by the skin on skin contact. It was comfortable like this, to hold and be held by someone close to you.
"Mm, but it's always nice being with you."
If Reina were not already so tired, she might have flared up, or even cried. As it was, she was simply to exhausted, mentally and physically, to even respond. All she did do was shift slightly, so that she could angle her gaze to look at Ai behind her.
"Ai-chan..." Her voice was soft, almost meek. Ai's face was fondly indulgent as she returned the gaze. "Mm?"
"Do you like me?"
If there was ever a question that felt like a bolt of lightning to Ai's otherwise perfectly ordered world, this would be it. Reina could actually feel Ai freeze underneath her, and instantly regretted asking.
"It's nothing really, you don't have to..."
Ai's voice was quiet as she cut in. "You know I do, Rei."
There it was again, that intimate nickname. Even Reina's close friends and family only called her "Reina". Only Ai ever called her that, was allowed to call her that.
Ai had leaned back when Reina had shifted earlier, but now her face was turned up and away to regard the ceiling. Reina hated that distant look of pain, hated how it took her Ai away from her. Hated it, because she felt like she had caused that pain.
"Ai..." But the rest of the words died on her lips, as they always did. Just for once, Reina wished that she, or either one of them really, would just break out of their goddamn cycle and just do something already, instead of indulging in this shadow play between lies and truth.
"Reina." The sudden switch away from the nickname startled her, and Reina felt a sudden sense of foreboding. "Do you hate me?"
That was an interesting reversal of the question she had thrust on Ai earlier. Reina allowed herself to dwell on the irony of that for a moment, so as to shift her focus away from the bombshell Ai had just literally dropped on her out of nowhere. In a way, it was almost like payback for her asking that forbidden question.
Inevitably though, since she couldn't exactly ignore the question Ai had just asked, Reina allowed a tiny bit of her true emotions to surface. An ugly knot of repressed feelings that had built up over the years came into view; a confusing mess of love, insecurity, pain and resentment. Like it or not, Ai had penetrated deep within her heart, and not always in the best way.
Do I hate her? Could I?
Reina very much wanted to hate Ai. She did, at one point, when the pain of rejection had been at its highest at the beginning. She had resolved to hate the older girl who had practically ran away from her, but somehow that hadn't lasted. Her resolve had melted the first time Ai came to apologize to her, but it didn't dull the pain. Ai had apologized for all the wrong reasons, since Reina didn't need for her to apologize for what happened that night. What had hurt was how Ai didn't trust Reina to make her own decisions about what had happened between them.
Sliding down so that she could rest her head on Ai's chest, Reina didn't answer right at first. Ai's heartbeat was clear to her from this position, beating slow and steady. She wrapped her arms around the older girl's waist, and felt the rhythm skip a few beats. She couldn't resist a small smile at that.
Ai's chest fell up and down steadily, and Reina was almost hypnotized by the motion, feeling drunk all over again. One hand moved up to cup Ai's breast possessively, even as she buried her face in between the soft mounds. She felt Ai's breath hitch ever so slightly, the arms encircling her tightening. The rapidly cooling water in the tub suddenly seemed of no moment, lost as they were in their own heat.
"I hate you." Reina mumbled into Ai's chest, brushing her lips over the sensitive skin, feeling Ai shiver under her. "I hate you so much..." Tongue flicked lazily around the suddenly hard nipple, drawing a sensual shudder from Ai as Reina blew lightly on it.
"Reina..." Ai's voice was almost agonized, her skin flushed. Teeth dug in mercilessly, hot breath on equally heated skin. Nails sank into compliant flesh, a sibilant hiss received in turn.
"You make me so mad..." Reina panted as she finally lifted her eyes to meet Ai's gaze. "Mad enough to lose myself..."
The dark eyes filled with lust were also tinged with pain and guilt. The words they needed, that they craved, never came. They spoke through touch instead; rending, hateful, needy.
Hands clung on in desperation, as if they would drown if they let go. Panted breaths, steam rising in the haze of their wretched passions, they fought and came together like wild cats. Wracked in the throes their own inferno, their eyes searching for each other desperately across the burning abyss, they seemed like they would almost cry.
Both held on to an ideal they could not reach; all they had were each other, and yet it was in that essence of which that they sorely lacked. The feelings that could not reach each other; they end up being tossed into the pit of their own making. And with every touch, every step, they sank deeper...
Fall with me.
~*~*~
The obnoxiously loud pop tune in the early reaches of morning was like a jackhammer to the brain, and a frustrated hand swept blindly around to silence the source of the disturbance.
A bunch of other stuff rattled to the floor from the impatient swipes, but the phone continued chirping on with hardly a care in the world, blissfully ignoring the fact that its master had barely gotten more than a couple hours of sleep, especially after the strenuous activity from before.
Fingers clawed over the offending object, yanking it under the covers with an irritated "what?!" as the call was answered. Silence for several moments, as neither side made a sound.
When the caller finally said something, the previously sleepy girl suddenly realized something. Well, two things.
This was not her phone.
And they were so in trouble.
=====================================================
And there. This should be fun. :D
Comment lots!
-
RenAi :heart:
I love the love hate relationship :lol:
The warm water couldn't keep the situation from being cold
GJ
-
Damn you Estrea! WHY?! WHYYYYY?! T-T I love hate this scene and situation right now. XD How dare you make Ai the cheating backstabber that she always is in fics when there's a love triangle going on!
Don't listen to me though I like it at the same time and I'm not mad at you. XD I just want another update already to know what will happen. If bad stuff happen I will not be happy. Poor Risa! She did nothing wrong! Poor girl is going to be crushed! T_T
Oh the previous chapter, since I obviously did not comment on that. Sorry. The previous chapter though makes me feel bad only a little for Reina. Only because Ai is with Risa and should stay with her and remain faithful! Or she should just break up with Risa first and THEN comes the wild bathtub sex! That's how things are supposed to work in my book. XD But great job bringing all these unsettling emotions in me yet again. ^_^
-
Their fingers were interlocked on top of Reina's stomach, and neither seem repulsed or even embarrassed by the skin on skin contact.
:wub:
"Do you like me?"
BOMB
Ai's voice was quiet as she cut in. "You know I do, Rei."
OMG, can't help but think of Risa :depressed:
One hand moved up to cup Ai's breast possessively
:on bleed:
their eyes searching for each other desperately across the burning abyss, they seemed like they would almost cry.
ouches
When the caller finally said something, the previously sleepy girl suddenly realized something. Well, two things.
This was not her phone.
And they were so in trouble.
Risa :scared: Risa :gyaaah:
kRisZ: Hehe I'm glad that my updates are so eagerly anticipated. :3 I like hurting people. :D -is a sadist- Hope you'll like this new chapter as well~
Funny, I’ve been thinking about you as a writer, I was suppose to post this in my previous comment but changed my mind, I was afraid I’d convey it negatively. It was like this
Me: she’s a sadist writer
After a few minutes
Me: no, she’s a masochist
After a few minutes
Me: scratch those, she’s both sadist and masochist XD
I see you as both because when writing you have to feel it to convey it right?, hence you’re both :on crazygran: :vv:
-
ahhh you make aichan cheat on reina :P
Reina had never seemed more kittenish than right now, cuddled up in Ai's arms.
:wub: :wub: sweet
"Do you like me?"
...
"It's nothing really, you don't have to..."
Ai's voice was quiet as she cut in. "You know I do, Rei."
bittersweet.. :cry:
damn you estrea..your writing make people feeling interlock together with your character :lol:
"Do you hate me?"
:( :cry:
reina definitely answering yes.. :lol:
One hand moved up to cup Ai's breast possessively
ahh ahhh...a make out going to start soon..XD
"I hate you." Reina mumbled into Ai's chest, brushing her lips over the sensitive skin, feeling Ai shiver under her. "I hate you so much..." Tongue flicked lazily around the suddenly hard nipple, drawing a sensual shudder from Ai as Reina blew lightly on it.
...
"You make me so mad..." Reina panted as she finally lifted her eyes to meet Ai's gaze. "Mad enough to lose myself..."
bingo..but again, you make feel sad along with this 2! :angry:
And with every touch, every step, they sank deeper...
Fall with me.
gakisan~ :cry:
poor gakisan still waiting at aichan house while aichan is enjoying herself at reina house..
*faint*
This was not her phone.
And they were so in trouble.
poor gakisan
poor reina
poor aichan
yea, but i wanna see action!..
gakisan & reina fighting!
ahh ok, enough..XD
as much as i hope AiReina can get together in the end, i do hope AiGaki can manage to solve their relationship too and be together..
geee, you make me love all 3 character so much in your fic..and now it's so difficult to choose which pairing is better for this..
-
What drama was I watching? I'm afraid to say! :ph43r: Hehe just kidding :lol: Hammy, I know you are reading this so avert your eyes!
It's Brilliant Legacy! Maybe you've already seen it and if not, I'd so hook you up with it! Hammy on the other hand...I'm afraid she'd disappear like I did XD Addictions are terrible!
----------------------
Now what can I say about this chapter?
It's so hard to comment on stuff that makes you go :on bleed: other than to say it made you go :on bleed:
ho ho ho :mon blood:
I totally loved the ending!! Whoo!! so looking forward to the next chapter! :mon fyeah:
I hope Gaki does some serious damage! :hiakhiakhiak:
-
Gaaaa!! Gyahhahhaa. XD It must be Risa calling 8) I wanna write in finnish......... HYVÄ REINAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :heart: :heart: :heart: (go Reina !!♥)
-
Hands clung on in desperation, as if they would drown if they let go. Panted breaths, steam rising in the haze of their wretched passions, they fought and came together like wild cats. Wracked in the throes their own inferno, their eyes searching for each other desperately across the burning abyss, they seemed like they would almost cry.
I think this is the epitome of the RenAi you've created here. This whole paragraph describes how I've interpreted their relationship.
You know, when you don't mention Gaki in a chapter, I actually almost want to see them overcome their self imposed obstacles. And then again... I guess I just like Risa more than Ai and Reina put together (though I'm nearly convinced that the crazy girl has done some kind of drugs in her life IRL) so I like to see her happy in fics. Or dead, in Hammy's case...
rndmn: Hehe, at this point it's probably best to not root for couples, but to root for the individual. Once the individual is saved, then we can talk about couples. That's my advice lol. It would be awesome if I could change your mind again...
That being said, I guess you've figured out which individual I'm rooting for, huh?
BTW cliffhanger=not fair, yo!
-
Oooh, hawt ReinAi. :drool: I guess I'm just stuck imagining the rest, eh? :P You tease.
Anyway, I keep feeling worse and worse for Reina. ._. I hate being able to relate to her LOL. But it's like...she so desperately wants to hate Ai, yet she cannot help but to love her. :/ This makes me think that Reina sometimes tries to come up with reasons to hate Ai, and fails, and just comes up with reasons why she likes her so much. :lol:
Aichan is just that unreachable goal, for anyone really (even Reina.) I wonder why that is. I can't help but to feel there is much more to Ai's story than anyone really knows. Making her one hot mystery XD Damn, I hate those type of girls (no I don't...)
Fingers clawed over the offending object, yanking it under the covers with an irritated "what?!" as the call was answered. Silence for several moments, as neither side made a sound.
When the caller finally said something, the previously sleepy girl suddenly realized something. Well, two things.
This was not her phone.
And they were so in trouble.
....
(http://www.funny-funny-pictures.com/dp/files/1-291.jpg)
-
What?! You updated and you didn't tell me?! :(
And they are at it again. XD They always seem to end up back on square one again. Although this time they are in deep shit... Kekekekekekkeke...
Awaits the big battle between all three. :mon corn: *Need a popcorn eating smiley* lol
-
Hotaru: Yeah, it always sucks to be in love. It's awesome, but sometimes it sucks. XD Especially in this kind of story...no perv, but lime? :D Will that be acceptable?
Yeah, I'm fine with that.
As for the chapter....
DAMN, that scene was hot, and while they were still touching each other they start sinking.
(I'm probably slow at realizing this, but I think Reina's a tsundere. Well, in this fic since she loves and hates Ai. XD)
Also...the ending. It took me an hour to understand that part.
Reina answered Ai's phone, and Risa replies.
OH DEAR GOD POOR EVERYONE! XD
-
So it went there, huh? :roll: And that's enough here for a comment on this chapter.
It's too bad I haven't kept up with this story - it lessens the significance of what I thought about the previous updates. Of course, I suppose there's no reason now shouldn't be just as good. Plus, I suppose I can post now since who knows when I'll catch you online again. :P Reading this stuff definitely clues me in a bit on your mindset over the past... month or so... >.>;;
Either I have an almost completely different interpretation of what's going on in this story than everyone else, or... I'm just crazy. I suppose I can take slight refuge in the fact that if I am, I know you are too at least...
When Reina asked Ai if she liked her, I wanted to just slap her. She knows exactly what had just happened inside Ai's apartment, and here she is just repeating the whole thing again. Of course, she approaches it a bit differently in the ensuing conversation... but then again, Ai does too. Interesting. And here I am talking about this chapter again. -.-;;; Well, kind of...
The update... early last month? was quite long. Quite a contrast. Speaking of it though, at one point (about halfway through the conversation) I was amazed Risa didn't just gather up her stuff and walk out of this fucked up picture she'd seen illustrated quite clearly in a shoebox. Instead it turns out Ai was the one to walk out. And of course she walks right into Reina. I was actually a bit surprised at what happened when we got shifted over to Reina's PoV. Gaki's the one that's had major upheaval in her life, even on top of learning about this "Rei" girl. I suppose Gaki coming in did the same to some extent to Reina as well, but were things really any different? Reina regrets a certain lack of intimacy... but I think she just didn't realize the intimacy she still did have, and actually always has. I'm not talking just the physical type.
That actually is the whole issue I have with what's going on in this story. You mention it so much - that unspoken confirmation of how things are. Those words that are taboo. It's so true, and is how relationships really tend to be... If you don't talk about something, you think that it isn't really happening. The problem I have with it is, is it really all that you've built it up to be? Of course this sounds a lot like what's going on with ReinAi... not to disregard Gaki. This "thing" that happened from so long ago though... I just think nobody in this story is recognizing what's actually going on in reality. But... do they need to?
After all, Reina and Ai are models. Every day they put on the face that they show to the rest of the world. How long until the charade becomes only the game it's made out to be? Nanchatte...
-
Little me wish i will never get caught in such situation.. my head will probably burst :cool2:
Well... the least of the least... Reina got something...which many might want but can never get..but on the other hand, many might want but only want all or nothing... Ai-chan is really gentle with Reina, scare that she might hurt her but gently-cruel..but she was only trying her best giving what she can to Reina...
Nothing is right and nothing is wrong.. just depending on how much you can take and let go.. COMPLICATED! :smoke:
Already learn to accept your story~ soooo any ending is fine.. trying not to be too delusional~
*grab pillow and waits*
Reina~ Gaki-san is waiting for your reply on the other side of the line. :shifty:
:mon bat: *poof*
~ Baby Sticky ~
-
LOL you finally updated :lol:
Wow they are really pushing the boundary of their feelings and relationship here, testing how far they can go before the soap bubble burst *singing shabondama* The question is, are they prepared to face the truth that has been in front of them all this while?
Hmm, I'm not making much sense here, oh well :P
p.s. Bath scene - definitely hot! Do more LOL :lol:
-
It was sweet, sad, hot and alarming at the same time XD you served us another mood swing :P
But ugh, how I want Ai to finally fight her demons, she is the core of the problem! Goddammit, why she had to turn down Reina back then? :cry: If Ai doesn’t deal with her issues then things most likely won’t move forward. No matter how badly Reina wants her she won’t be able to change anything if Ai doesn’t show some will to cooperate :smhid
And now I’m damn curious about Gaki’s next step XD (some catfight would be cool :lol:)
And some side note: we definitely need more ReinAi bath scenes :drool:
-
Argh comment replies! I love them and I hate them! XD
Too many to do is why...but keep them coming!
And on with this great work...
kurosawa87: Love hate is about right. Heh. XD
writerjunkie: Cheating backstabber? Hmm...you might be right. But then it could be worse. :D Haha I just like watching you be in distress. :D I'm just evil that way...hehe... Well things never work out right when everything is messed up like that to begin with. If it helps, the next one's a funny chapter? Kind of. It's hysterical for all the wrong reasons....XD
kRisZ: Why thank you, I'm both sadistic and masochistic. I've noticed that in myself before...lol. :P
alwaysYou: Yeah poor everyone...you might get your wish soon~ :P I'm glad you can't choose, that means I'm doing something right. Haha. :P
Sukoshi: I haven't watched that, and I don't intend to. Too many fics to write, too little time. Lol. :P I think you'll like this coming chapter...and want to whack me because...well, just because. :D
Fushigidane: I'm glad I got that kind of response out of you. :D
rndmn: Well if you like Risa that much, it can't be helped...lol. I could write a lot of happy TakaGaki, since it's really easy given how their relationship works from what we can see on videos and stuff, but I find it more of a creative challenge to work on ReinAi, happy or not. XD I'll try not to give Risa the shaft, since I want to be fair to her too. :D In fact, she'll figure prominently for a bit...:P And if you thought that was a cliffhanger, you'll want to kick me after this chapter...:P
Sai: I'm sure your imagination will work something out. :D Aww I'm sorry for making you relate to her? ;_; Sure does remind you of your own experiences with girls huh...? XD And nice kitty pic. Is that going to be a trend from now on? :lol:
Fenrir: I did tell you! You just weren't around for a particularly long time, so by the time I did tell you, it was up for a while...:P We should petition for a popcorn-eating smiley just for you. XD
Hotaru: Was that last part so hard to understand? ^^;
rokun: Yeah it went there, so? :P And you should know by now I wasn't avoiding you on purpose...you just have bad timing. XD And you're not crazy. :heart: And another :heart: for making you feel like slapping Reina. XD I know how rare it is for you to feel that way. :P And for Reina not realizing what she has, well, sometimes girls just want to be told you know. :P And I love your analysis, and we've talked about it on AIM already so...:D *huggles*
sticky baby: You don't mind if I call you that ya? XD I love complications! Hehe. Good for you not to get your hopes up. :3 Good girl. XD
badsaints: Yup, finally. Haha. And here's another one! Btw, nice connection with shabondama. It really fits too. :lol:
peti-chan: I love serving mood swings. <3 So much entertainment for me there...As for why Ai turned Reina down then...she was scared. Among other things. Stuff happened and she wasn't ready to face them, so she put it off...and off...and off....and here we are today. XD
And there we go. All replied to. Now for editing before the post!
-
Chasing White Rabbit
"Listen up Tanaka: don't go anywhere, don't talk to anyone else about this. I'll call again once a decision is reached."
In other words, she was in deep shit. Reina swore to herself and resisted the urge to toss the phone out of the window. Mostly because it was Ai's phone, and she didn't want to explain that away to a grumpy, half-awake Ai.
Then again, she was more than tempted to do it, simply because it was Ai's phone, and this was totally her fault. Well, sort of. Reina felt comfortable blaming the older girl for it anyway.
Speaking of Ai... Reina glanced at the still form under the sheets. Ai had always been a heavy sleeper, more so after a good round, well, several rounds of sex. Reina never did things halfway.
Grunting heavily, Reina rolled out of bed, padding over to her cupboard to throw on a shirt and shorts. She wasn't one to walk around the house naked, even with the windows closed. Despite everything, she was hardly one to be an exhibitionist.
There was no way she was going to be able to go back to sleep after that call, so she headed to the kitchen and started making coffee. Well, she had run out of milk last night, or she would have had that instead. In any case, coffee would certainly help push back any fatigue. She needed a clear head to think about any potential consequences of this new development.
Last night had been...a mistake. Granted, it was a totally awesome mistake since it involved lots of mind-blowing orgasms, but she really shouldn't have started it to begin with. Reina decided to blame it on Ai again. Really, what else was going to happen with the two of them naked in a bathtub together?
It was always so hard to do this with Ai, Reina mused. Hard to look at her in the eye and pretend to feel nothing. That it was just sex, just hormones controlling the whole situation. Avoiding eye contact was an option, but they couldn't do that forever.
And she hated how Ai looked at her. Guilt, shame, even pity mixed in those beautiful eyes. That look in her eyes had been so tender, but yet...Ai knew she had nothing to give, and it showed in her eyes.
Sometimes it felt more painful to have sex with the woman than not doing it with her. Reina buried her head into folded arms on the table, repressing the urge to scream. She was fairly sure the neighbours wouldn't appreciate the noise this early in the morning.
Then again, they had been pretty loud last night. Not that she had given a damn about what they thought that time. She still didn't care now, but Ai was still sleeping in her room just a few feet away. She didn't want to risk waking a sleeping tiger.
The coffee machine beeped. Reina didn't budge. She was wondering just how bad it could possibly get, after that phone call from Ai's manager earlier. At least Ai's manager wasn't a slimy git like their first one...whom Reina still wanted to hunt down and beat into a pulp, before tossing him into a pool of leeches. Preferably while still alive.
Her own manager probably hadn't been able to get to her, she thought wryly. She had turned the thing off last night. Ai's manager had been a little surprised to get her on the phone, but not surprised enough. Rumours about them were still around, even after all these years.
She appreciated the warning though. This whole thing was going to have consequences. Just one more year and she would have been legal to drink, but oh well...
Another low beep, this time not from the coffee machine. Reina blinked, looking up in confusion. Who could possibly be calling on her this early in the morning? With Ai safely in her bed, there was practically no one else available who would.
Curiously, she headed to the door. She was prudent enough to look through the peephole before opening the door. Given what the manager said earlier, a little caution wouldn't hurt.
What she saw though, was worse than paparazzi.
What the fuck is she doing here? Reina all but mentally screamed in her own mind. At this point she would rather have had her grandmother popping in for a surprise visit; even with a naked Ai in her bedroom, Reina felt confident that she could pretend that nothing inappropriate at all was going on between them.
However, any excuses probably wouldn't work on this person, and Reina knew it. Now the only dilemma was whether or not to open the damn door...
Picking up courage she didn't even realize she had, Reina opened the door before the rest of her brain -- you know, the part telling her THIS IS A BAD IDEA -- caught up to the action.
"What are you doing here?" Came Reina's very ungracious greeting. Well, she was in a somewhat foul mood to begin with, it was early, and this was one of the last few people she wanted to see.
Which brings back to how opening the door really wasn't one of the brightest things she could have done to begin with. If nothing else, blame it on the lack of coffee on top of sleep deprivation. Which was due to a lot of great sex, but it's probably not necessary to repeat that, especially not in front of said (uninvited) guest.
"So you really do live here." A cool voice, or rather, a desperately-trying-to-be-calm-about-this voice, replied. It was edging on just this side of almost-shrill, and definitely rubbed Reina's nerves the wrong way. The kitty cat had sensitive ears, particularly at this time of the day.
"Yes, now go away." Reina was about to slam the door shut, but her visitor quickly stuck a foot to intervene. She certainly wasn't about to let Reina escape this easily.
"We need to talk." Reina glared, wondering just how much more trouble she could possibly get into if she shoved the annoying girl out of her door and down the stairs. Probably enough to get her fired, but right now she was just this close to ignoring that.
"I don't even know you." That was a good point. They had only met once, and didn't even talk that much that time either. "I don't think we have anything to talk about."
"Give me my Ai-chan back."
Reina stopped trying to kick the offending leg out of her door. She ended up stepping on it quite unceremoniously, but it wasn't deliberate...ok maybe it was. But regardless.
Her visitor was very sincere. So sincere that Reina really wanted to toss her down the nearest flight of stairs right now. Or invite her in for coffee. Blame it on temporary insanity. Or frazzled nerves from lack of sleep.
Because that's what she did. Eventually. But not before exclaiming out loud.
"You want me to what?"
To all intents and purposes, her visitor was absolutely honest. Possibly a little misguided, but earnest all the same. And rather brave to boot.
Reina couldn't believe it. This girl, this Niigaki Risa, was a total crackhead. How such a person managed to become Ai's girlfriend was beyond comprehension. Then again, Ai wasn't functioning properly when it had happened, so perhaps that was the reason why...
It was around then that the invitation for coffee happened. Because Reina wasn't in her right mind either, and she just really needed that cup of coffee right now.
That, and probably because only crazy people would fall for one Takahashi Ai. Or they became crazy loving her, who knew?
It was just the beginning of the end...
==============================================
I'm mad, so sad, the title makes sense, it doesn't, and now I must rest.
XD
-
:lol: sorry to hear about your situation but :lol:
well tbh idk what is more crappier at the moment Risa's attempt to get Ai back or Reina trying to rain on the parade
Confusion and regret seems to be looming but idk it works out for me
As for the title, meh, I have had worst :lol:
-
I seriously thought Risa was the one who called Aichan in the last chapter. You totally fooled me, lol. But it probably would've been a much more safer approach, compared to the unexpected situation Reina carelessly threw herself in within this chapter by actually inviting in the person who she knows sees her as a girlfriend-stealer. O_O
Aichan sure makes people go crazy. :lol:
Anyhoo, nice chapter. :twothumbs Looking forward to reading whether or not the girls come to an agreement to share Aichan with one another Reina will agree to Risa's demand.
-
Wait wait wait, did Reina just invite in Ai's girlfriend as Ai lays naked in the other room? :doh:
You know what would be super hilarious? If Reina and Risa actually became friends.
I wonder what Ai's manager wanted....
-
Oh, so it wasn't Gaki who phoned, she thought it was better to simply visit Reina :shocked now they will drink coffee and argue about which one of them is more madly in love with our awesome Ai-chan :lol: I can't wait for this conversation and what will come out of it XD I hope that Reina will firmly(or even fiercely) defend her role which she plays in Ai's life XD and maybe we will get to know some more details from the lives of those three :roll: but what if Ai suddenly wakes up...? Ohhh, this is going to be very, very interesting :lol:
Last night had been...a mistake. Granted, it was a totally awesome mistake since it involved lots of mind-blowing orgasms, but she really shouldn't have started it to begin with. Reina decided to blame it on Ai again. Really, what else was going to happen with the two of them naked in a bathtub together?
:lol: :lol:
"Give me my Ai-chan back."
Some evil words came to my mind which Reina could say here... "Sure, just wait a sec, I have to dress her up first..." :twisted:
And the title is cute XD I somehow have this image of Ai being the white rabbit and Risa with Reina hunters who are chasing after her. Who will trip over and who will catch the prize? :D
-
What was Reina thinking, inviting Risa in when Ai is in the other room naked?? I was totally expecting Risa to be the caller, but kinda relieved that it wasn't. Ai really needs to sort herself out, before she ends up hurting more people. I'm also curious as to the history Ai and Reina have together that Risa can't wedge herself into. Ai clearly has feelings for Reina, but what's stopping her (or stopped her) from fully committing herself to a possible relationship with her? An Ai POV from this point would make an interesting read. My inner RenAi shipper mode is hoping for a happy ending for them, without hurting Risa as much as possible :D
-
Ooooh, Reina's in deep shit. :cry: This could be totally bad for her career, huh? ;_; But, it's not like she can't say it wasn't an obvious risk. XD; She's underage, they could have at least got drunk inside the safety of her own apartment to be a TINY bit safer. :lol:
It doesn't surprise me that Reina doesn't walk around nekkid, even in her own house. o_O Is it odd that I found that comment worthy? :nervous (but, I wouldn't mind the idea of her doing so. ;D)
Coffee is a wonderful invention, too bad Reina didn't get to it quick enough. :o This just isn't her morning, is it? Karma having so much mind blowing sex with a hot (taken) girl. :lol:
Gaki knows where Reina lives? :shock: Creepy stalker! I'm not gonna lie, if I were Reina, I'd be freaked out that she knows where I live, assuming Ai didn't tell her.
Sigh...Reina, option number one would have ended things a lot easier, you know. :P But it's okay, I understand that being sleep deprived with coffee just inches away makes option number two in favor (or even exist.)
"Give me my Ai-chan back."
Some evil words came to my mind which Reina could say here... "Sure, just wait a sec, I have to dress her up first..." :twisted:
Werd. :mon misch: :mon thumb:
And nice kitty pic. Is that going to be a trend from now on? :lol:
I was gonna, but I couldn't find any good kitty pics that would work for this chapter. :lol:
-
Am I weird for being sad that it was the manager that was on the phone and not Risa? But then, Risa showed up at the door and I thought that was even better! :twisted: :twisted:
I'm so evil.
It would be hilarious to see Reina and Risa bond over a cup of coffee. XD Well, they do have one thing in common and that's Ai-chan. Mmm, I wonder what Ai-chan will do when she sees the two of them together drinking coffee...
I really do want a popcorn eating smiley. XD
Lastly, thanks for telling me you updated. :lol:
-
To: Hulk
Baby Sticky sounds more cute than Sticky baby~
Oh well... soooooo its not Risa that called~!
but way to go for Risa's "Give me my Ai-chan back."
She is not even freaking out but determine to get what is hers back regardless of whatever it is~
:mon bat: *poof*
~ Baby Sticky ~
-
To: Hulk
Baby Sticky sounds more cute than Sticky baby~
Aww my little baby is cute either way hahaha :lol:
Some evil words came to my mind which Reina could say here... "Sure, just wait a sec, I have to dress her up first..." :twisted:
LOL that's a good one! XD
Just the others I really thought it was Risa who called too. Nice way to throw us off :thumbup But I wonder why Reina, though unwillingly, invited Risa into her house :? Also, isn't it a tad creepy that Risa knew where Reina lives even though Risa is new in town? I'm more curious on what actually happened in their past though
-
At least Ai's manager wasn't a slimy git like their first one...whom Reina still wanted to hunt down and beat into a pulp, before tossing him into a pool of leeches. Preferably while still alive.
Eww... awesome.?.
"Sure, just wait a sec, I have to dress her up first..." :twisted:
:bow: :bow: :bow:
The two rivals drinking coffee while the love of their lives sleeps and then wakes up, go to the fridge... naked. That would be awesome.
-
lol I'm not going to whack you but I will shake my fist
*shakes fist* no Sayu! no showdown! :farofflook:
ah...Estrea...such a tease! :farofflook:
but things have certainly gotten more interesting with Ai chan being in the bedroom! The girl can't possibly sleep through a cat fight, can she? :mon huh2: lol I wonder if she's gonna try to escape by climbing out the window XD
"Give me my Ai-chan back."
lol this line made me crack up. if only she knew what Reina spent the chapter thinking about! Reina should just point to her bedroom and ask Risa, "are you sure you want her back?" :mon psst:
-
Ok it's like 7am here now and the sun is well up. Sigh. Had to get this done or I wouldn't rest.
Comment replies first.
kurosawa: It's all building up to the climax. Hehe.
Retro Bubble: Well, they're all a little crazy here, that's for sure. You'll see what happens here. :3
rndmn: Yes, Reina just did. Don't ask me why. :P I know what the manager wanted! :D
peti-chan: Yeah, why go through the phone when you can meet directly? XD Especially since Reina lives so close anyway...hehe. I like your idea btw lol.
aussie: Point is, she probably wasn't. Thinking, that is. I copped out a little on giving the full Ai POV, but enough to show some hints of just why Ai isn't with Reina officially. XD I really need to get into the details of that soon...
Sai: I need coffee now too...dead tired. Lol. Brain not worky. Comment replies not coherent either. @_@ Yes Risa has sources. And 2chan haz all the stalker she needs. :P
Fen: Yes you are ebil. I like it no other way. Hoho. And this time you already knew I was writing but you left with dinbutt, and I have to go sleep, so you can go look the update up yourself!
baby sticky: Yeah, cos sticky baby sounds like an infant in need of a wash. :P And I'm not a hulk! At least I'm not green. :P Not freaking out? I guess...:P
badsaints: Everyone's curious about what happened in the past. I keep stalling. No, I really know what happened, really! It's not that I don't know. :P I just can't seem to fit it in directly with the current events. :P
kRisZ: I really wanted to use that scene, but sadly, muse-chan had other ideas. XD
Sukoshi: Rabbit doesn't always equal Sayu. :P Showdown comes here. :D Well if Aichan could sleep her way through it, she would. Better than having to deal with it. XD
Ok I don't even know what I just said through all that. Blah. time to edit and post.
-
A Mad Tea Party
But for the lack of tea, pastries and a festive atmosphere, this might have been a pleasant event.
Then again, there was a lack of glaring over the table, so it was definite improvement over what she had expected it would be like. It seemed that even Risa was surprised by the invitation in, and so was rather subdued by her standards. After all, it's hard to be consistently nasty to someone who had just passed you a cup of coffee that you really needed. It would be rude, if nothing else.
Reina, for her part, decided to forego the nastiness until she felt less groggy. She was certain that things could always get worse, something already evidenced by how Risa just showed up on her doorstep right after that unexpected phone call. This naturally, brought up the question of just how Risa had found her. Reina was fairly sure Ai had not informed her...girlfriend...about where Reina lived.
"I have my sources." Risa had replied delicately. It might have been more difficult had Reina been an ordinary girl, but since the yankii was involved in the entertainment industry, it was not impossible to discreetly find out where she stayed. Of course, the fact that Reina lived within a short walking distance of Ai's place had been somewhat of a rude shock, but Risa managed to not let her emotions run away with her before dealing with the situation.
Not that either of them was dealing with the situation at the moment. Things appeared to be at a stalemate for the moment, both girls choosing to focus on the coffee, albeit for different reasons. Risa, for one, had not expected to be treated with any kind of cordiality, given her somewhat skewed impression of Reina since the first time they met.
"What do you want?" Risa was the first to break the silence. Reina stared into her cup with single minded intent. Silent for a moment, her voice was speculative when she replied.
"If I said I want you to leave her, would you?"
With that, any possibility of Risa thinking that Reina might not be such a bad person pretty much went down the drain. Putting down the cup sharply, Risa glared at the younger girl.
"Why should I? You're the one who's coming in between us!"
Reina's eyes narrowed as she looked up. "Just for your information, Ai-chan looks for me on her own, I certainly didn't start it." Liar, her conscience whispered. Reina shoved the tiny voice aside and continued.
"I don't know why Ai-chan agreed to go out with you, but you guys barely see each other. You barely know each other. What kind of a relationship is that?" Reina wrapped her hands around the cup, glaring at Risa over the rim of it as she continued to taunt her guest.
"Do you know what her habits are? Do you know what she likes, what she hates?" Risa grew paler with every question, a barely noticeable tension gathering in her shoulders as they started to shake. Reina pressed on, almost maliciously.
"Has she even gone any further than holding your hand?" Reina knew exactly how far Ai had gone with Risa, which was pretty much nil. "Has she even seriously kissed you? Touched you? Have you even..."
Slap. Risa's hand moved before she could even process the action, catching Reina full on the face. Reina reflexively held a hand up to her wounded cheek, eyes glinting sharply. She did not seem particularly surprised by the blow.
Risa though, was breathing heavily. She was upset. All of Reina's questions had hit her where it hurt. So much for being civil. The two rivals glared at each other, as if daring the other to make another move.
Reina did. Slowly moving her hand down, she did not say anything right at first, instead tilting her head up at an angle to show her neck clearly to Risa. The intention of that movement was unclear to Risa at first, but then she saw it.
Vivid marks, obviously left in the heat of passion. The triumphant glint in Reina's eye, more than anything else, spoke volumes about how she had received those marks.
Risa suddenly found herself feeling a little faint, her breaths coming shallowly. Reina leaned forward in an almost friendly manner, finding some vindictive pleasure at tormenting her guest.
"I could show you more, but unfortunately most of the others are in places I rather not let someone like you see." Barbed words, leaving no question just where those other marks might possibly be. After having felt resentment towards this person for so long, Reina was certainly not holding back.
"Just give up. Go away. You don't know Ai, not like I do." Reina hissed lowly, her hands tightening on the table.
"Why..." Risa whispered, her eyes fixed on her lap. "How can she do this to me?"
"Because she doesn't love you." Reina told her bluntly. The yankii allowed herself a moment to feel the irony of that statement, since she wasn't sure if Ai loved her either. One thing she was sure of though, was the intimate physical connection that they shared.
"I don't believe you." Risa answered, but her voice was shaky, uncertain. Gritting her teeth together, she stood up suddenly. "Where is she? I know she's here."
Reina stood up as well. "I wouldn't wake her if I were you." Eyes glinting maliciously. "We were up most of the night."
Risa winced at the implication, but shoved her discomfort aside. "I need to talk to her."
"Why won't you just give up? She can't love you." Reina argued. Her reason was shaky, since all she had was something based off an instinct, but Reina knew that as long as Ai had not dealt with whatever was holding her back, none of them could move on. It was far easier if they just let go.
Despite knowing that, Reina never gave up. So, in a way, she wasn't surprised when Risa didn't give up either. We're both idiots, Reina thought scornfully to herself. Morons, both of us.
"I don't care what you say. I just need to know why!" Risa pushed Reina away, heading towards the only logical place: the bedroom. Shoving the door open before Reina could stop her, Risa stepped in and stared.
Clothes were dumped messily across the floor, but Risa wasn't looking at that. Her attention zeroed in automatically on the peacefully sleeping figure curled up under the sheets.
Reina shoved past her unceremoniously, crossing the short distance to sit on the bed, gently caressing Ai's messed up hair as the tired girl stirred under her touch. Glaring over her shoulder briefly, Reina returned her attention to Ai, who always had trouble getting up from bed due to low blood pressure.
"Nngh...Rei..." Ai whined childishly, burrowing her face into the pillow. "Five more...minutes..."
Torn between wanting to let Ai sleep, and having her wake up (since being gawked at by a third party was hardly the most comfortable experience in her life), Reina shook her lover lightly, and was rewarded with a short growl as Ai suddenly tugged on Reina's shirt with surprising strength. Caught off guard, Reina fell flat on her front and face to face with a half-awake but already amorous Ai.
Risa twitched impotently when her straying girlfriend quite obliviously planted a kiss on the all-too-aware Reina, who after a moment of hesitation, returned the kiss quite enthusiastically (and with a certain amount of sadistic intent). The act was like a knife to the heart, despite knowing that Reina and Ai shared an intimate relationship before this. Seeing it for herself made everything all too clear, and all the more painful.
Feeling understandably betrayed, Risa marched over indignantly and pulled Reina away from Ai. Reina looked like the cat that got the canary; Ai though, blinked in confusion before registering Risa's presence. Her eyes widened, and she belatedly pulled the sheets up to cover herself as she looked back guiltily at her erstwhile girlfriend.
Sucking in a deep breath, Risa was torn between beating the crap out of Ai, or yelling at her. Or both. Possibly both. Ai looked like she was about to bolt, while Reina simply had a cynical sort of look in her eyes. The yankii was at a point where she was too jaded by the whole business to give a flying fuck about what happened next. The events of this day had thus far conspired to make her stop caring so much for now.
"You..." Risa paused, struggling to get her thoughts across. Her throat was painfully tight, every muscle in her body tense with anger. "I..."
Any number of things passed through her mind. Things like 'How could you do this to me' or 'What's so good about that scrawny bitch'. Or, to sum up simply, 'why'.
"Cat got your tongue?" Reina asked snidely, folding her arms and leaning against the headboard of her bed.
That did it. Before she could think about it, Risa snapped. Slapping didn't seem to carry the magnitude of her rage, so she didn't do it. Instead she grabbed Reina by the front of her shirt and slugged her hard across the face, sending the smaller girl clattering to the ground and hitting the back of her head against a shelf.
Ai cried out wordlessly and rolled out of bed without thinking, going to Reina's side instantly as the younger girl came up spitting some very ugly curses. Concern turned to restraint as Ai had to hold Reina back from attacking Risa.
A sharp pang hit Risa again at the sight of Ai's response to Reina being hurt. The obvious closeness aside, it was clear in the way Ai looked at Reina like the girl was the only thing that mattered in the world that Ai was very much in love with Reina. How else would someone totally ignore their own nakedness and just jump to the defence of someone else?
Ai, for her part, was whispering softly to Reina, trying to get her to calm down. The bruises were already starting to show on Reina's pale skin, and Ai winced in sympathetic pain, holding Reina protectively close even as the younger girl strained against her while glaring at the offender.
I can't let it go on like this. The injury to Reina spurred Ai from hesitation to decision in mere seconds, surprising even herself in the swiftness of the switch in her mind. Caressing Reina's cheek gently, Ai said.
"Reina, I'll deal with this. Wait outside." Her tone was gentle, but there was no mistaking the resolute nature of the words. Reina stiffened in her arms, but Ai could not see her expression. To offset her worries, Ai kissed the bruised cheek gently and murmured.
"It'll be alright, I promise."
The tender exchange between the two only made Risa seethe further, but she controlled herself...barely. She ground her teeth together when Reina turned and pulled the sheets from the bed to cover Ai up, sneaking a quick kiss on the lips at the same time. Had the girl no shame?
Reina glared at Risa before walking out of the room, closing the door behind her. Half the tension in the room seemed to melt away from her departure, but there was still plenty to go round. Risa turned her attention back to Ai, who had gotten up and was pulling the sheets around her like some kind of cloak.
"You didn't have to take it out on her." Ai said evenly, but avoided Risa's eyes directly, choosing instead to look at somewhere around the other girl's chin instead.
If seeing Ai being intimate with someone else was heartbreak, seeing her defend that other person was akin to Ai taking the remnants of Risa's heart and trampling all over it. Risa felt the beginnings of tears burn in her eyes, but she swallowed them with righteous indignation, choosing to focus on her anger and hurt instead of giving in to the sorrow.
"You never loved me." It was more a statement than a question, and it hurt like hell saying it herself, but Risa did it anyway. A choked sob escaped her. Her lungs heaved painfully. She would not cry, not now. Not in front of this heartless creature that had betrayed her.
"Not in the way you wanted me to." Ai avoided a straight answer. Then, almost meekly, she added.
"I'm sorry."
A half dozen accuses and recriminations leapt to the tip of her tongue, but Risa couldn't get them all out at once. Action took over words, and she shoved Ai into the wall, pinning her there by the shoulders. Ai didn't resist, only holding on to the sheets and looking away guiltily.
Silence reigned for the next few moments; Risa struggling to gather her thoughts, where Ai was merely mute, silently accepting any abuse that might come from her once-girlfriend.
"Do you think..." Risa's voice cracked halfway, another half-sob escaping her.
"Do you really think, that a single 'sorry' will undo what you've done?" Her voice was low, accusatory. Heavy with pain. Ai closed her eyes, the muscles along her jaw rippling.
"No."
Silently accepting any retribution that might occur, Ai steeled herself mentally; she deserved this, deserved anything Risa would want to do to her. What harm was there to add a few more pieces to an already broken doll?
The kiss was surprisingly gentle, and Ai made no move to resist. Neither did she respond, and the chaste kiss was over almost as soon as it began. She heard Risa sigh, felt the grip on her shoulders loosening. She opened her eyes cautiously.
"You really..." Risa's voice was tired now, dejected even. The anger seemed to have seeped out of her, leaving only emptiness in its place. Raising her eyes to lock onto Ai's, Risa stared deep into those luminous orbs for a long moment, as if searching for something.
"You really love that girl." The conclusion was right there, sitting out there in the open for Risa to see. Only a fool would miss the attachment Ai had to Reina, and the kiss she had all but forced onto the older girl had only served to confirm what she sensed earlier.
Ai loved Reina. Cared about her so much, that she would do almost anything for the girl. Except, of course, be in a serious relationship with her. Risa wondered why. Clearly, something had happened between those two, something she did not know about.
A barely noticeable tremble ran through Ai at Risa's words, as if she was frightened of them. Closing her eyes, she forced the familiar doubts ringing in her mind back down, the little devils tormenting her every single time she came close to admitting her feelings to Reina.
It's not love. Soft, accusatory. You're just using her. Insinuating, insidious. You'll only hurt her if you get too close. Damning, final. She deserves better.
"I'm not..." Not good enough. Ai choked, tears flowing silently down her cheeks. Dark feelings assaulted her, threatening to break her apart as she started to shake.
Uncertainly, Risa held Ai tentatively as the older girl began to sob harder. Wondering what had gotten her started, and wondering when it would finally be her own turn to break down in this whole business.
On the other side of the door, a fist clenched hard into itself, nails digging into the palm. Head down, knees drawn and tucked up against her chin, Reina didn't move for a very long moment.
Then, slowly at first, she began to chuckle. Lowly, deeply, bitterly. Her fist remained closed, and amidst the shaky laughter, red trickled out from within her palm, dripping onto her feet.
==========================================================
See, the titles made sense! I was referencing Alice in Wonderland the whole time. :D Don't ask me why, I'm on an acid trip here. XD
The drama! The angst! The whole Essy-ness of it!
Ok clearly I really need sleep. Tell me what you think!
-
Incredible, it was sort of a meeting of all the past parts, good job
RenAi a very interesting paring :)
-
Oh god, as if those people didn't have reason enough to hate ReinAi as it was... XD Somewhat surprisingly to me though, it actually ended on a somehow warm and fuzzy note (except for the Reina drawing blood part of course). I hope Reina doesn't like go find a gun and shoot Risa... She seems just insane enough to do something like that now... Or perhaps she'll shoot Ai instead. XD That'd solve all their problems. :lol:
Poor Ai being... well... Ai. Not feeling she's good enough for Reina, or anything or anybody. I'm almost tempted to say Gaki will try to help her get over that so she can at least be happy with Reina and thus show what true and pure love is all about... but... nah. This ain't a Disney story.
Time for Reina to just find a gun, go in there and shoot them both as they hold each other. Mhm. I have my dark times too...
-
I had a nice morning a few minutes back, %&@# you and your story it made me tremble and teary eyed. No wonder you're on top of my list.
-
I really think Risa showed a lot of restraint and this definitely made me root for the almost nonexistent Takagaki. While this is a great chapter, I think you've actually hurt my already low opinion of RenAi. These two, the way I see it, the way I've seen others see it, can only bring out the worst in each other and the worst in those connected to them apparently. Who'd have thought Risa would be so violent, while at the same time having a right to be.
That being said, I really wonder why Ai just can't accept her own feelings for Reina? What happened? From a completely objective point of view, Risa is an outsider and Renai should prevail, so I'm looking forward to and dreading the next chapter.
-
:fainted: I'm not going to make any sensible comment.
Reina did. Slowly moving her hand down, she did not say anything right at first, instead tilting her head up at an angle to show her neck clearly to Risa. The intention of that movement was unclear to Risa at first, but then she saw it.
- Meow~
Despite knowing that, Reina never gave up. So, in a way, she wasn't surprised when Risa didn't give up either. We're both idiots, Reina thought scornfully to herself. Morons, both of us.
- If it is Ai~ Mind adding me in into this chaos?
"I'm not..." Not good enough.
-Low self esteem?
:mon bat:
-
Whoo! The showdown was well worth the wait! :mon fyeah:
That coffee really powered Risa up! I mean violence shouldn't be cool but Risa's attack on Reina totally was! :hiakhiakhiak: I didn't really feel bad for Reina getting attacked...she kind of deserved it...lol but I really like feisty Reina too! some of her comments even made me cringe on Risa's behalf XD
Time for Reina to just find a gun, go in there and shoot them both as they hold each other. Mhm. I have my dark times too...
lol Rokun's comment cracked me up XD That's such a Hammy thought XD
After finishing the chapter, totally in support of RenAi now...maybe it was that cute wake up scene that was the deciding factor....well you know..before it got really ugly XD I just can't see TakaGaki having any kind of romantic relationship after seeing that.
and to think! if Risa didn't enter the enter the bedroom, Ai chan would really have just slept through it all! This really was a wake up call for Ai chan on more than one level eh? hmm...Rokun brought up an interesting idea....Risa helping Ai chan out so that she could properly fall in love? I can almost see it....but I hope she doesn't XD I like this stronger Risa that fought for what she wanted...I don't want her to go all soft again :sweat:
and amidst the shaky laughter, red trickled out from within her palm, dripping onto her feet.
Kitty cat's gotta cut her finger nails XD I often think this in real life too...just cause I think it would hurt if one of Reina's beloved nails were to break XD
-
Geez, it was so…painful to read and I mean in a physical sense :shocked All that Risa’s smacking and Reina acting so sadistic toward her was just…ouch… I ALMOST pitied Risa but coming to Reina’s place she really asked for that herself… :P
However, despite all that s/m aspect of this chapter XD it also included probably one of the sweetest scenes when Ai gives her morning kiss to Reina (I just ignored Risa’s existence then :roll:) and of course her protecting the kitten :wub:
Risa said that Ai loved Reina which Ai denied and I think that was somehow true since you cannot love somebody not loving yourself. So, it’s not a matter of Ai realizing her love toward Reina but more like realizing she really deserves her and there is nothing to be afraid of…As she is now she better stays alone since I can't imagine her being with Reina and constantly thinking about how Reina would be happier without her, it wouldn't make any sense :smhid
She also should think less =.= I mean when she acts on instinct she is more honest with herself then when she starts analyzing things. The scene when she jumps from the bed to protect Reina proves this…
So three advices for Ai…first: accept yourself despite anything that had happened (‘cause I’m guessing there is a reason behind her low self-esteem), second: be honest with yourself and third: stop thinking and start acting XD
And I beg you, don't kill anyone! :cry: XD
-
Oh, wow. I seriously didn't expect palms and fists to be flying anywhere and making contact with skin in this chapter. :shocked: I thought you were going to make Risa and Reina settle things peacefully, or just let them take emotional jabs at one another -- which they mostly did. But where's the fun in that without adding a bit of physical bruises here and there? (Wow. That makes me sound cruel, lol.)
I do feel bad for Risa, though. She had the right to be super pissed. Reina did seem to deserve all the slugging and slapping after all the things she's said and done; but, really, that was quite harsh. I wouldn't have resorted to physical violence if I was in Risa's shoes. I would've controlled my feelings.
But then again, Love makes people crazy. She's also the heart of all the problems. *brick'ed for lame pun* Still, I couldn't help but feel bad for the girls. Each one of them has their own dilemma to deal with.
-
Hehehe...
Well, I found your update. lol
Hmmm, I can see why you wanted to slap Ai yourself. XD XD But she's just afraid of getting into a serious relationship. Not sure why, but afraid of commitment perhaps?
And woohoo Risa beating up Reina! There should have been more fists flying. An all out cat fight between Risa and Reina. Now that would have been fun. XD As Risa or Reina, I would have totally slugged her back... >.> Ebil me... :heart:
-
Sorry Reina, but you totally deserved that :lol: But I still support you to prevail in the end to have Ai all to yourself :D
Ouch, that hurt, didn't it Risa? Having seen what Ai is really like around Reina, having seen her instinctively jump to Reina's aid upon seeing her getting hurt without a moment's hesitation despite her naked state, clearly demonstrating to Risa how big a presence Reina has in Ai's heart......all clearly point to the rightfulness(?) for Ai to be with Reina, but there's also clearly something that's holding her back from taking that step. At this point my question is why did she accept Risa's interest in her when she knew from the start she didn't fully return those feelings, if at all? It's like she knowingly, however unintentionally things have turned, walked into this mess. That's what's really bugging me at the moment, more than Ai's teasing relationship with Reina. What does Risa mean to her? What does Reina exactly mean to Ai? I'm really interested to see where you intend to take this story from here. I think this is becoming one of my favourite MM fanfics I've read so far; I have my favourite (actually several XD) TanaKame fics, and this one is surely on its way to being crowned as my favourite RenAi story I've come across so far :thumbup
I think what fascinates me while reading this fic is that it gets me thinking about RenAi in real life. I don't know what it is but I find some parallels between the fictional RenAi couple in this story and RenAi in real life, gathered from what I've seen and personally felt about their relationship. I've always thought of Reina and Ai that they seem to have a certain distance between them, but at the same time they click about similar things and such. Funny that I'm trying to relate a fic to the personal relationship between two people I only know off the screen and from their stage persona :lol: That shows I'm really starting to ramble, so I'll just sign off with a 'looking forward to your next update'~~
-
Oh god, as if those people didn't have reason enough to hate ReinAi as it was... XD
That, my friend, is so right :angry: If I ever get a burst brain vessel from reading a fic, you can be sure it's from one of Essy's XD
I really think Risa showed a lot of restraint and this definitely made me root for the almost nonexistent Takagaki. While this is a great chapter, I think you've actually hurt my already low opinion of RenAi.
*checks for places to buy protective gear* I think we're on our own rnd. I can imagine the sheer amount of RenAi fans coming after me after I post this comment.
First of all, I REALLY wanna sock Reina. She already got the girl, must she continue to rub it in? Granted, Ai isn't fully with her in the sense that she's always holding back, but still, it's obvious Ai turns to Reina more than she ever will to Risa.
I can't say I agree with Risa hurting Reina physically though cuz it would only serve to push Ai closer to Reina. And that was proven right when Ai practically flew to the kitty's side. I'm surprised no one said anything about Ai being naked at that point? XD
Back to the story, how can anyone be so giving??? At the end, Risa even held Ai to comfort her after everything that the elder has done to her? OH RISA, YOU ARE A FREAKING SAINT!! XD
I want to know what was going through Reina's mind when she stood outside the door. Oh and I LOL-ed at the Risa calling Reina a scrawny bitch part. It's just so funny :lol:
-
Ok quick comment replies, assuming I can do quick. Bloody 7am again...
kurosawa: Thanks. Yeah, they're interesting which is why I like them.
rokun: Haters will always find reason to hate. I don't need to be nice. XD Nah nothing so dramatic to happen here....or not?! Who knows? XD And I refuse to write a Disney ending if only on principle. :P Have you been reading hammy's stories to suggest that??? :lol:
kRisZ: Well, prepare yourself. It gets worse here. -hands you box of tissues-
rndmn: Well, I always like to seek converts, but I won't do it by force. This is what happens when ReinAi went wrong. It's not pretty. That's why you get a negative reaction. They screwed up, that's why they are here as they are now. This chapter should answer several questions.
baby sticky: Mhm, Ai always has low self esteem. We all love her, but she doesn't believe it. Oh well. XD
Sukoshi: Yeah, ReinAi for the win. Haha. Ai would probably rather have slept through it all, but eh, I can't let her weasel her way out of things all the time. :P
peti-chan: Yeah it was hard writing that stuff (actually I've written worse, but this was emotional so it's hard anyway). Yeah, Ai just...thinks too much. You'll see what happens here, I think you might like it. XD And I'm not the one who kills people, hammy does that! :lol:
Retro Bubble: Well emotions were running high, so a little conflict was bound to arise...hehe. Don't worry I'm the most cruel one around. :P Yeah, we'll see how things work out here.
Fen: It's more complicated than that. I expect you to be heartless again this chapter. If you aren't...well, that means my work here is done. :lol: If not, always room for improvement!
aussie: A lot of your questions will be answered in this chapter. Not all, but enough to probably generate a few more questions. XD And thank you, I try. :3
Hammy: Oi, ReinAi fans aren't that scary. XD Of course I wanted to hit Reina for being insensitive too, but then again, she has a freaking point for being mean. Not a good reason to be, but she has one (she's jealous! over something stupid, but jealous anyway!). Risa obviously wasn't thinking very far either. She has her own issues to deal with. Heh.
Ok braindead braindead braindead. GAHHHHHH!!!!
-
Perhaps, Love
The door opened, and Risa stepped out with an imperturbable look on her face. Reina did not look up, still seated directly next to the door.
Silence. Risa didn't move, staring at the immobile Reina who was staring blankly at the ground some few feet away from her. Looking at her now, so small and still, Risa realized just how much like a child the younger girl looked. It went against the strong, insolent image she had grown accustomed to seeing.
"You know where the door is." There it was, the same caustic tone she was used to hearing. Without any change in expression, or a single glance, Reina sounded just as overbearing as before.
I really don't like her. Risa concluded, waving away whatever illusion of vulnerability Reina's image had conjured earlier. She almost wanted to spout some equally barbed reply, but decided against it. She was too tired to think of a comeback.
"Thank you for the coffee." She ended up saying it anyway, her voice edged with irony bordering on sarcasm. Reina did not dignify that with a reply, only making a 'tch' sound while continuing to stare straight ahead.
Her actions felt mechanic, as if mind and body were somehow separate. Even the simple motion of slipping into her shoes felt distant, unreal. She doesn't love me. Risa squeezed her eyes shut, pushing that thought away. She moved, and did not feel.
Time enough to deal with the pain later. First, she had to get out of here.
Summoning as much dignity as she could muster, Risa left the apartment. Through it all, Reina did not move, did not even twitch. To Risa's credit, she did not even slam the door shut as she exited.
Reina exhaled, fist unclenching slowly. The blood had yet to dry, the flesh swollen and red around the bloody indentations. She stared, then stood slowly.
Still more to come. She turned and faced the door behind her.
~*~*~
Ai sat at the edge of the bed, still draped only in the bed sheets. The tears had exhausted themselves a little earlier, and so Risa had left. They did not say anything else; Ai not knowing what else to add, and Risa having nothing more to say. It seemed an appropriate way for their farce of a relationship to end.
A farce, yes, that was all it had been. A damn mistake, yet another goddamn mistake. Ai messed at her own hair vigorously in frustration. One after another. Running away for one, then accepting Risa for no other reason than to avoid having to deal with Reina. Then that night.
Ai groaned. She never dealt with anything right. Too scared, too indecisive, unable to do anything but pretend everything was alright. Truth is, everything was wrong. She just didn't want to have to deal with it.
I can't deal with this. Angry tears ran down her cheeks, filtered through tightly shut eyelids. Anger, yes, that was familiar. She could no longer remember just how often, how much she was angry with herself. For being useless, for being a wimp, for being weak, and unable to move on.
She never told Reina. How could she? Reina hated the man already. If she knew what had happened... Ai shuddered. Reina would kill him. Worse, probably.
Ai knew Reina's temper. Her little kitty cat would go stark, raving mad if she knew. It wouldn't matter what hole that bastard slunk down into; Reina would probably hunt him down anyway and then render him down into fish food. And be fully justified in doing it.
No, I can't let her do that. As much as she would gladly see the bastard die in the most horrifyingly painful way possible, she could not let Reina lose it like that. Reina had a future. Ai would never let it be ruined because of her own problems.
Reina was...too good for her. Ai closed her eyes. Mistake after mistake. Should never have gotten close to begin with, but if she hadn't... Ai shook her head. She had to. At that time, she absolutely had to.
Because she couldn't stand seeing Reina being broken. That wild, free spirit that was the 15 year old Reina then absolutely had to be protected.
Or was I just being selfish? Ai knew she was stubborn; everyone who has ever worked with her has said the same thing to her. Some meant it in a good way, some didn't. Ai ignored them and kept going, in the same stubborn way she either got praised or scolded for.
Ai hated losing. She would never give up, no matter what. That was what led to her somewhat badly earned, and horribly exaggerated, reputation. Yes, she probably "dated" every single new girl that came through the agency since, well, since she turned 17. If, of course, you counted mentoring them dating. Ai wasn't sure how all the rumours happened...scratch that, she knew exactly why.
It had been a foolish test of wills. Ai strove to keep the new girls away from the jerk, even as he charmed them into his bed. She couldn't get them all, but she did snag quite a few of them quite by accident. Ai didn't even know that girls could like other girls until one of the newbies she had taken under her wing quite suddenly confessed to her. That had been a rather surreal moment.
Ai had cut her hair boyishly short during that period. Partly to signify a fresh start, mostly because long hair was a bother to take care of. The resulting androgyny from her new image was mostly unintended, though it did catch the attention of a fairly famous photographer, who requested her to model for him. That had been the beginning of a successful professional relationship between them, and the springboard for her career, ironically enough.
It was probably the same image that made some impressionable young girls go all crazy over her. Ai thought it was cute at the time, and indulged them a little, but she never went very far with them.
Until Reina appeared. Reina had been quite unlike the nervous newcomers she was used to seeing. Blunt, bold, and absolutely fearless. Reina had been a breath of fresh air, wild and untamed. Oddly enough, she was also a good kid, despite the yankii exterior. That particular discovery had been made entirely by accident. Ai smiled to herself at the memory. Those were good times.
The smile soon faded. Ai frowned. Things had spiralled out of her control too easily with Reina; instead of protecting the girl, she found herself being protected. She allowed it at first, if only to keep Reina safely away from him.
Ai wasn't sure how it went from keeping her away from him to keeping her for herself. Disgust filled her at the thought; how could she have been so selfish? She had kept Reina by her side for too long, tied the girl down with chains of obligation that she had no right to place to begin with.
She defended me. There it was, her excuse. Ai laughed bitterly to herself. She had used that to keep Reina by her side all this time. Used the girl's kindness to her own advantage.
She hated this. Hated herself. A sick feeling ran through Ai. She was awful. Loathsome. Unworthy.
The last thought drove it home even harder. Ai wanted to throw up. Everything was wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She had no right, absolutely no right, to be with anyone else.
It was no more than a whisper of sound; barely more than a breath, a rustle of wind on skin. But it was enough for Ai to identify the presence. Reina. She looked up, meeting dark red-rimmed eyes.
She's been crying. The thought sent a wrench through Ai's heart. Unknown to her, Reina thought and felt the exact same thing opposite her.
Neither made a move. Ai was too wrapped up in self-recrimination to properly respond, while Reina felt too wrung out to properly string together a coherent sentence. The short distance between them felt amplified, as if they could never reach each other, despite being only a few steps away.
"Reina, I'm sorry." Ai's voice was soft, weary. The weight of her sins bore down heavily on her frail shoulders, the cross she had to bear alone all this time. There were too many things she had to apologize for. She owed Reina too many things; time, kindness, everything.
Too many things left unsaid. Reina closed her eyes and counted to ten. Her heart still felt like it was being put through a strainer. She breathed out slowly again. It hurt to do so.
"It's...alright..." Even her words sounded strained, artificial. Breathing was an effort. It couldn't be the blood loss, because that was barely anything.
It was going to be alright, because she loved Ai. Even if Ai did not, could not love her back, she still loved that damnable woman. God, this has to be the stupidest thing she has ever done. Loving Ai, that is.
"Reina, your hand...!" Ai sounded alarmed, as she quickly noticed the bloodstains. Crossing the short distance in all of two steps, Ai took Reina by the wrist and held the hand up, despite Reina's attempt to pull away. Ai could be very strong when she put her mind to it.
"You're hurt." Ai's voice was equally wounded, as if she felt the pain as her own. Reina winced, not from the stinging soreness of the wound, but from the tenderness in Ai's voice. Don't be so nice if you don't love me, Reina's inner voice whimpered. Stop giving me hope and taking it away.
"We need to get this cleaned up." As Ai was about to drag Reina into the bathroom, Reina caught hold of Ai's arm to keep her from moving. Ai looked back at her uncertainly.
"It's nothing." Her voice was hoarse, raspy even. Clearing her throat, Reina continued.
"Ai-chan." Ai bit her lip nervously, eyes shifting awkwardly downwards. "Ai-chan, look at me."
"Reina..." Ai replied uncertainly, unsure of what to do or say. Reina simply looked at her for a long moment, then without warning, embraced her tightly.
The sheet fell to the floor, not that either of them was bothered. There was nothing the other hadn't already seen before. Reina clung to Ai like a drowning sailor to a life buoy, with a death grip that was almost painful. Despite the discomfort, Ai did not complain. She owed Reina too much already.
"Reina...?" Ai whispered, stroking Reina's back soothingly. Reina said nothing at first, her face buried in the nape of Ai's neck.
"Just...just let me stay like this for a little while more..." Reina murmured. She closed her eyes, breathing in Ai's familiar scent. It was comforting.
"I love you, Ai." The words slipped out naturally, all in one breath. Reina did not let go, did not push apart to meet Ai's eyes. They simply stayed in that position.
Those words. Sharper than any dagger, they stabbed Ai straight in the heart. Better if Reina had hated her. But no, the girl simply had to love her. It was totally incomprehensible.
"I don't deserve you..." Ai found herself muttering, only to feel Reina's hold around her tighten.
"Stop saying that!" Reina ground out through gritted teeth. "This isn't about whether you love me," Liar, her mind added. "This is about how I love you."
"Reina, I just can't..." Ai looked stricken. Can't tell you how much I'm broken. How dirty I am.
"I don't care!" Reina burst out, clenching her fists. "I. Love. You. Whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not." Reina sucked in a quick breath. "Even if you don't love me, I still do."
"Ai, I know you're hurting. I know you need time." Reina said all this very quickly, as if she had held back for too long. Which she had.
"You don't have to give me anything. I just want to stay with you. Until you're ready." Reina exhaled, then said slowly.
"Can't you accept that I love you?"
"Reina, you deserve better. You deserve to be happy." Ai said quietly. Stubbornly.
Reina twitched, resisting the urge to tear her own hair off. Gods, could that woman be any more rigid?
"Don't you get it?" Reina yelled, shaking Ai by the shoulders. "I'm happy when I'm with you! I want to be with you! I don't want to be anywhere else!"
"Reina, you wouldn't be crying if I made you happy." Ai said flatly. Her jaw was tense, pain reflected in her chocolate eyes as she looked on at the one girl that had stayed with her through thick and thin.
Reina paused, blinking back the tears she didn't know were there. Ai reached out gently, rubbing away the tears with her thumb. The soft touch only coaxed more tears from the younger, who sniffed like a child straining not to cry, but failing anyway.
Ai sighed. This was all her own fault. She should never have let things come to this.
"I was too selfish, Reina. I should have let you go early on, before that night. But I kept you close, because I was too damn scared of being alone." Her voice was thick with self-loathing. "It was all a mistake...I should never have tied you to me like this."
The sobs slowed, Reina staring at Ai in disbelief as the older girl continued to flagellate herself.
"I hurt you because of my selfishness. I don't deserve to be loved like that..."
Reina snarled suddenly, shoving Ai abruptly backwards, cutting her off. Stumbling back, the pair landed on the bed, Reina on top with an angry expression written all over her face.
"I'll tell you what hurts me!" Reina shouted. "When you don't tell me things! When you keep every damn thing to yourself and keep sacrificing yourself for some damn fool noble idea that you're protecting me!" Warming to her subject, Reina went on.
"Well heads up for you: it's not just about you protecting me, I want to protect you too! But you never let me! Always deciding things on your own, wallowing in self pity and shutting me out." Reina's voice grew quieter.
"Do you know how much it hurts when I see you suffering on your own? When you turn away from me, like you don't need me?" Reina's bottom lip quivered, her hands trembling from repressed frustration.
"Ai, I...I need you, but sometimes it feels like you don't...need me." Reina swallowed hard, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "I'm so confused...the way you look at me like I'm the only thing you can see, and then you push me away, again and again."
"I...I don't know how to deal with this." Reina confessed brokenly, leaning half over, supported only by her arms barely propping her up on either side of Ai's head. "It h-hurts so much."
Ai couldn't breathe. Her head spun faster than a washing machine on spin cycle. Images, information, feelings...bombarding her from all sides. The pain in Reina's voice threatened to break her, and something within her ached to hold Reina, make all that pain go away.
The depth of her feelings, her very instincts, shocked her. Her voice struggled to be heard, but remained trapped in her throat as she fought to process everything Reina had just dumped on her.
The phone rang, tearing through the house like an unwelcome visitor. Both of them ignored it, and it went to the answering machine. What came after could not be ignored.
Tanaka, get your ass down to the office within an hour or you're fired.
Both girls would gladly ignore the summons in order to deal with the bigger picture of what lay between them; or at least, Ai was about to deal with it, when Reina rolled off without a word, leaving the room to answer the phone.
Ai stared after her. Her brain couldn't process every single twist and turn this fast. And things were definitely moving too fast. She needed time. More time.
She couldn't catch the conversation, even though the walls were pretty thin and sound travelled well here. The reminder of that fact made her wince; that meant that everyone on the same floor probably heard everything that was shouted just now.
Reina returned in what was probably only a few moments, but had felt like an eternity to Ai. She did not go to Ai; instead, she started digging through her closet, hastily dressing up to head out.
Ai gaped at her. Reina was never this obedient to the assholes in charge. Something was going on here.
"Reina, what..."
"It's nothing." She didn't sound very convincing, but every fiber of her tone clearly stated that she did not want to discuss it. As if to show how wrong things were, Reina had gotten dressed in less than 5 minutes. That was truly unusual.
As Reina went through her preparations like a whirlwind in motion, Ai could only sit there stupidly as she tried to put everything together. When the younger girl turned to head out of the door, Ai called out suddenly.
"We'll talk about this later, right?"
Her voice sounded a little squeakier and more strangled than she liked. Trying hard to modulate it to more normal tones, Ai continued nervously.
"I just need...a little more time."
Reina nodded, but did not turn around. "I'm going now then."
"Have a safe trip." Ai echoed, as Reina disappeared around the corner and out of sight. Less than a minute later, she heard the front door open and shut again.
Ai fell back onto the bed, amidst the sheets blanketed with their scents. It felt comforting, surrounded by a mixture of herself and Reina like this. Safe, even.
But Ai still felt ill at ease. Something was wrong here. Terribly wrong. Something deep inside of her knew it, but not what exactly it was.
Not the fastest person in the world, it took a little while before Ai figured out just what had disturbed her most about Reina's frantic departure.
Reina did not look at her. Not once, not after the call. A cold shiver ran through Ai. She didn't like that. Not one bit.
Reina should always be looking at her. Always.
I only want her eyes to be on me. I want her to be with me. Ai thought fiercely. Possessively. The next thought fell in neatly, like the last puzzle piece that had been missing all this time.
I love her.
============================================================
Well, damn, TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH.
Rargh. My head hurts like a fucking herd of centaurs just trampled all over it after some festival to the gods. Need...aspirin...
-crawls to corner and dies there-
-
FINALLY! Aichan's been hit with the brick of realization! Took her long enough to resolve all those feelings... :cry:
It's nice that you shed some light on ReinAi's history. Now we know why Aichan felt herself unworthy of Reina's love and affection. Poor girl.
This chapter definitely left me with a few questions, though; particularly -- who is the "bastard" that gets mentioned repeatedly? Seems like he and Aichan had some history together, what with the latter trying to save, and protect, the newbies' virtue by snagging them away from his dirty hands, and mentoring them. (Which, unfortunately, lead her to earn quite an undeserving reputation within the management.)
And why did Reina just walk off like that? Did she give up on her love for Aichan? Can't wait for the next chapter. :twothumbs
-
kRisZ: Well, prepare yourself. It gets worse here. -hands you box of tissues-
*takes and bows*
I only want her eyes to be on me. I want her to be with me. Ai thought fiercely. Possessively. The next thought fell in neatly, like the last puzzle piece that had been missing all this time.
I love her.
I only hope Ai won’t be too slow to process things and be too late and get spiraled down again because Reina leaving her apartment sounds fishy to me.
-
Ai finally admits to Risa the truth. Ai and Risa break up. Risa leaves. Reina comes in and tries to knock some sense into Ai. Ai is still trying to push Reina away. Reina is not happy. Reina and Ai gets interrupted by the phone. Reina leaves in an alarmingly swift manner. Ai is left behind to finally piece together the puzzle.........a little too late??
Took Ai long enough, though the way Reina left is making me think of all sorts of possibilities where Ai might not see Reina for a long time or something :sweatdrop: I've been watching too many movies and K-dramas XD But I sort of want to see Ai be the one chasing after Reina, possible worried that something is not right with Reina or something. After which they can kiss and make up :D
And really re-evaluate her feelings. But I hope everything's all right with Reina. I don't like the way she left :(
-
Ai has hit a wall and now she has to see how will she take on it.
Reina is sort of the mature person in this situation, good for her though
keep up the work Estrea
-
Still more unanswered questions, but I'll wait.
I refuse to convert to RenAiism, but I'll still read and even (reluctantly) enjoy your stories. Though that doesn't stop me from looking up a certain Piratey Takagaki perv from long ago, lol.
-
Looks like you can improve some more! lol
I was chuckling throughout this chapter. :lol: *evil laughs*
Hmm... about Ai's thoughts... how they relate to someone I know....
-
have gakisan really give up?
i somehow doubt she will just leave aichan like this..
especially when she knew that aichan is in denial within hers and reina relationship..
kind gakisan wont do it huh..
so, it's really like what i think at first when the previous chp mention that aichan seem to be afraid when she is sleeping..
WHO THAT IDIOT!!! :angry:
geee, i love how aichan is so protective to reina..and at the same time falling in love but keep think she doesnt worth to reina cause she is "dirty"..poor aichan :cry:
kinda feeling the pain and those struggle in her.. :cry:
and reina, dont walk away like this.. :cry:
dont make reina give up on aichan too..
you making this 2 look so pathetic.. :lol:
now i wanna know will gakisan and reina know what happen to aichan in the past anot..
if reina knew it, ya, that bastard will die.. XD
next chp!!! 8)
-
Him - this word is quite a shocking word to me in regard to this story.. never thought a him might pop out LOL~
I only want her eyes to be on me. I want her to be with me. Ai thought fiercely. Possessively. The next thought fell in neatly, like the last puzzle piece that had been missing all this time. I love her.
- Finally... finally finally................ :depressed:
why do i feel that now that they might be pull apart......... and then there goes more tissues~ T.T
-crawls to corner and dies there-
crawls to corner and spins on the dead body! :gmon twirl:
:mon bat:
-
Gaki leaving, the mysterious bastard, Reina walking out just like that...it's all so unimportant... the world could really end in that moment and it wouldn't really have mattered since Ai thought "I love her" and now nothing is going to stop her from telling this to the kitten. Ai hates losing so she couldn't lose to herself. Not realizing her own feelings and staying in that pitch black hole of despair would certainly be a defeat
The words Reina shouted to Ai about that whole stupid I don't deserve you/you deserve better thing were so damn right, true and smart XD And I must say this, for the first time in my life I liked Reina more than Ai :lol: I wanted to really 'hurt' Ai for all the stupid things she thought and said :angry: Reina acted more honestly, just how the heart was telling her and actually, ACTED which was her biggest plus 8)
Not the fastest person in the world, it took a little while before Ai figured out just what had disturbed her most about Reina's frantic departure
INDEED :banghead:
Well, it's still not the end and we don't know what Reina(and Gaki? XD) is up to but since you say that you aren't hammy and don't kill people, the end won't be that bad I guess :lol:
Oh and I suppose the guy must have done something very bad to Ai so if he is responsible for her thinking that she doesn't deserve to be happy then kill him...in some accident not to cause much troubles for the yankii XD
-
I'm back!
And yes I know that was quick. After all, I've already written the ending months ago! XD
Split the ending into two chapters though....
Comment replies first then we'll move on!
Retro Bubble: Yes it certainly took her long enough. Mhm, poor Ai....but she's still an idiot anyway. >.>; As for that question, please come back to me in the sequel --- pretend you didn't see that. XD Well, I'm updating fast so you guys can see what happens next! Hehe...
kRisZ: You might be right. That is all I'll say. XD
aussie: Nice summary there. Lol. And again...you might be right. Heh. Remember, I'm evil. :3
kurosawa: Well at least Ai finally figured out her feelings.
rndmn: I'll get you some day. It's just a matter of time. :P And are you still over that??? >.>;
Fen: Marr, you're heartless and ebil. We knew that. :P And yes yes, you're right...
alwaysYou: Sometimes we know when we're beaten. Gaki's not that delusional. And yes I make this two look very pathetic. I enjoy torturing them. Hehe. XD
baby sticky: There was a him right from the start when I planned this story. I just took my time revealing it. Lol. And you're a brat! >(
peti-chan: Yeah it all boils down to Ai loving Reina and finally realizing it herself. Heh. Well I really worked on Reina's speech, so I'm glad you liked it. Haha. Are you sure it won't be a bad ending? :P
Ok time to edit. :D
-
Here and Waiting
"Otsukare!"
The smile stayed on as long as it was needed, fading away as soon as she stepped into the back of the set. The cold mask snapped back on in record time, even as she wordlessly took the water bottle from her waiting manager.
"Takahashi, you have an hour of free time before we have to head to the charity gala." Moriya, the long-suffering woman who had been assigned to her full-time since her big breakthrough into prime time drama, was also the most professional person Ai had ever had the pleasure of working with. In addition to being efficient, the manager knew exactly when to leave her alone.
"Un, that's enough time then." Ai was nothing if not civil to her manager. Having worked with the woman for the past 6 months, they had learned to get along.
Moriya was perplexed. Her client, one Takahashi Ai, was a thoroughgoing professional, which made her job a great deal easier since the young star was not as difficult as others she had worked with. Hardworking, serious, and unlikely to get into trouble, it left Moriya free of additional concerns. Takahashi was the perfect (or rather, reformed) celebrity.
What didn't make sense though was how unusually dedicated, or one could even say obsessive, over something she was. Even as Ai was heading back to the dressing room with Moriya trotting at her side, she was already flipping through a clear folder with an intent expression on her face.
Detective reports, Moriya knew. For as long as she had been in charge of managing one Takahashi Ai, the actress had been searching for someone. According to the rumor mill, it most likely had to do with a certain young idol named Tanaka Reina.
The rumor mill was never kind to the famous, particular not the internal rumor mill. What did get out to the public was usually watered down in comparison. Moriya had heard all sorts of interesting things about Takahashi before, but after being assigned to her, she found that they were mostly untrue.
What was true though, was her charge's intense drive to track one Tanaka Reina down. Moriya had also heard of the girl, naturally. Since that two-bit gossip magazine released candid shots of the girl drinking at a bar 8 months ago, there was no doubt that Tanaka had to go on suspension. The same article claimed that Takahashi was there as well, but the shots that supposedly had her in them were blurred and not very good, so the agency was able to refute the claims.
Moriya did not know the truth behind the matter, but then again it was not important for her to do so. Once swept under the carpet, the truth was not important. Truth, in this industry, was completely relative. Whatever the public did not know was, by default, "not true". As long as nothing could be proven and no one gets caught, they were free to do as they wished, within reason.
Tanaka had the misfortune to be caught, and thus had to be suspended. A pity too, since she was only a year away from the legal age. From her sources, she learned that the girl had taken leave to go on an extended vacation until things calmed down. The public had a short memory, and she would be able to come back with a relatively fresh start after having been suitably "punished" by staying off the radar for a suitable length of time.
Had Moriya not been Takahashi's manager, that would have been the extent of her knowledge of what happened to Tanaka. Apparently, the girl had not only vanished from the entertainment world, but also from Tokyo itself.
Moriya was not surprised to know that Takahashi and Tanaka were close; the inside news had been that the two were engaged in a clandestine relationship at the time. It was never confirmed, given the uncertain nature of the industry, but judging from what she knew now, Moriya wouldn't be surprised if those rumors had been true.
Ai devoted every moment of her spare time to finding Reina. In between breaks for filming, photoshoots and even in transit between locations for events, Ai would always be looking through the data her hired investigators brought to her. No matter how fruitless the search appeared to be, she persevered.
When Moriya had asked her, early on in their working relationship, why she worked so hard to look for Tanaka, Ai simply smiled sadly and said.
"Because I have something very important to tell her."
Moriya shook her head and sighed. Takahashi was stubborn. Even though it has been so long, she could not give up. Glancing down at the carefully marked schedule planner in her hands, the meticulous manager went about her own work in supporting the busy Takahashi Ai.
Not only because she had to, but because the girl really needed it.
~*~*~
Ai sighed. She did not want to be here. Not at a stuffy event where she would be just another pretty decoration on display. Her time could be better used in other ways.
Had that fussy manager of hers not insisted on her attendance, and personally made sure that she did show up, Ai would probably already be cooped up in her own apartment by now.
As if sensing herself being referenced, Moriya glanced over to the sulky Ai, who instantly put on her most obediently angelic expression. The bespectacled manager looked suspicious for a moment, but said nothing.
Reina, where are you? Not for the first time that day, Ai found her thoughts drifting in that direction even as she mechanically mingled with the socialites at the event. It seemed like there never was a moment where her mind was not on Reina, especially for the last 8 months during their enforced separation.
Reina had disappeared that day, when the office had summoned her on short notice. When Ai showed up at the office to look for her, all she had received were vague answers and thinly veiled evasions. Attempts to contact Reina were also futile, and upon returning to Reina's apartment, she found nothing. Literally nothing, because there were signs of hasty packing done, leaving the place mostly bare.
When the scandal broke officially, that was how Ai found out that Reina was being suspended. What she didn't understand though, was why Reina was avoiding her as well. There had been no word, no note, not even a single mail about anything at all.
Despairing, she had thrown herself into her work, in between hiring people to look for the missing girl. It only took a month to confirm one thing: Reina had left Tokyo. As to where she was headed, no one knew.
It took almost two months before Ai let the fact sink in: Reina had left her. It had been so difficult to deal with, and Ai almost broke down from it all as she withdrew into work even more intensely than before. Any semblance of a social life vanished, and she even cut her hair again, back to boyishly short levels, without permission. Her then manager nearly had a coronary at that.
Months flew by and now here she was, hair growing out again for the movie she was going to appear in. Her desire to find Reina had not faded even after all this time, and neither did the pain of separation feel any less intense. She still cried herself to sleep every night.
Eyes scanning the crowd idly, Ai felt herself sink further into boredom when she saw something that nearly made her drop the glass she was holding.
Reina. No, it couldn't be. She had to be hallucinating. Ai rubbed at her eyes, heedless of the fact that she was ruining her makeup. That was the least of her problems at the moment.
Why would Reina be here? If it's Reina, that is. Ai corrected herself. Drifting closer, Ai tried to track down where that phantom had gone.
"Takahashi, is something wrong?" Moriya again. The woman had eyes like a hawk, despite the glasses. Without preamble, Ai asked quickly.
"What's this event for again?" Moriya raised one eyebrow, but answered anyway.
"Fundraising to build a new facility for disabled children." Without pause, Ai continued.
"What's the guest list like?"
Like any thoroughly professional manager, Moriya knew the facts.
"Talents like you who are scheduled to perform later, potential investors and donors, government representatives, some architects..."
Architect. The word clicked in her mind for some reason. Reina's parents were architects, and were often out of the country. Reina herself had grown up with her grandparents because of it.
It was slim, unverified, and pure conjecture. But Ai wanted to believe that Reina could possibly be here. Because she needed to believe.
"Thanks." Her reply was terse, and she was off again. Her hapless manager stared after her, wondering what exactly was going on.
~*~*~
She has to be here, she absolutely has to be here.
Ai repeated that mantra to herself, as if by sheer dint of repetition it would come true. Was she delusional? Possibly. The last 8 months had already worn her thin, mentally and emotionally.
Cold logic told her nothing could be so convenient, her inner pessimism rearing its ugly head. It was hard battling it, and it certainly felt like a losing battle...
Until she saw her.
Chibi optimistic Ai trampled all over her emo and pessmistic counterpart, prancing about in a tribal dance celebrating her victory within Ai's head. The real Ai however, stood there in shock.
She's there, she's really there.
Ai could cry right now. She wanted to run over and hug the younger girl, kiss her senseless right there and then, and to hell with everyone else present.
But she didn't. She just stood there.
Shock mostly, and fear. She was afraid. How would she go about approaching someone who had most certainly left her? She didn't even know if Reina felt the same anymore.
If she doesn't love me anymore...
Ai didn't know what to do. What would she do? There was a terrifying blank beyond that possibility.
Reina moved, and their eyes met. Even after all this time, a familiar electricity ran between them, just like old times. Ai felt a surge of hope, even as she saw Reina's shock at seeing her.
Ai could not help but notice how pale Reina was, even with the distance. No matter how pale though, Ai still found her beautiful. She wanted to be close to her again.
The shock in Reina's eyes turned to blankness, as Reina quite deliberately turned away from her. Ai's throat tightened, blinking away the tears that came suddenly at this subtle rejection.
Ai couldn't breathe, retreating into a corner to try and calm down, but still maintaining line of sight with her quarry. Indecision filled her again, as she wondered how best to approach the girl.
Even if Reina rejected her, even if Reina didn't want her anymore, Ai needed to tell her.
Those three words, so long left overdue.
It was about time she said it to her.
============================================
Part 1 of the ending. Next part will be the long awaited ending...that I've actually written but won't post yet just to torture you guys! --> THIS IS FEN'S IDEA BLAME HER! :D
I'm ebil. :3
-
Okay, I'm a horrible, horrible person. xD;;; Y'see, I've just been too lazy to comment on just about anything I've been reading...which is really bad. I'm usually overrun by work and don't have the time to type up good comments and crud. Just wanted to let you know I've been following along the whole time and still loving every bit of this. <3
BUT DAMMIT LEMME SEE PART TWO OF THE ENDING. ;_; (Guess that's what I get for not reviewing... ^^; )
-
:imdead:
-
MUST :banghead: READ :banghead: PART :banghead: 2!!!!
:on cny2: PLEASE!!!!
-
Wah! updates faster than I can reply! hehe happy camper :mon fyeah:
*gives Fen a strange look* don't go giving Estrea any more strange ideas :mon sigh:
man the way Risa left in the last chapter...that made me so sad...it kind of felt like that was her last appearance. lol and I guess if the next chapter is the last chapter...I guess it really was her last appearance :sweat:
I still can't believe Ai....it took her that long to finally realize it? I thought she already kind of knew deep down....oh right...it's that thing called denial! ahh... XD
and Reina storming off to the office? I still think she's keeping a bigger secret. I mean if it's just the pictures...I think Reina would just not care that much...and it can't be to protect, Ai chan can it? since the pictures were all blurry....argh~ what can it be?? *gives Fen a strange look again*
Ai could not help but notice how pale Reina was, even with the distance.
Hope you didn't give Reina a strange illness or something...and that's why she ran away.....nah...what are the odds right? with only more chapter after all~
lol...maybe I should just accept a simpler explanation...like Reina trying to distance herself from Ai chan for the sake of Ai chan's career....
darn...I really want to know the reason~ XD
Reina's parents were architects, and were often out of the country.
Architects?? Someone finally gave Reina a proper family background?! I don't believe it! lol they are in reality mobster architects right? XD
-
So Reina ran away, huh? I don't know why but oh well, serves you right Ai, if you hadn't been so stubborn things would go differently and this is your punishment for all your indecisiveness and inactiveness :smhid she had to loose Reina to finally, appreciate her :banghead: hope she drawn the right conclusions...
Chibi optimistic Ai trampled all over her emo and pessimistic counterpart, prancing about in a tribal dance celebrating her victory within Ai's head. The real Ai however, stood there in shock.
Unexpected but funny XD she should have trampled that emo long ago :lol:
Now only one thing left to say...GanbaReina Ai! XD
And I didn't say the ending wouldn't be bad I said it wouldn't be that bad which basically, means that if you don't kill them there is a hope for them :lol:
-
wow something incredibly great for an ending woo hoo
The tension and the love, chills down the spine
good job
-
Mwahahahahahahahah!!
It's fun dragging this out. :P
Hmm, there might be some hope left... maybe... kekekekekekeke
-
Hmmm....should I post the next part nao or wait some more....:D
@Sukoshi: The one time I give Reina a respectable background, no one believes it. :lol: Poor girl lol.
@Fen: Youuuuuuuuuu! The ending is your fault too. :3 :lol:
Lalalala~ *prances around*
-
"Because I have something very important to tell her."
Unfinished businesses can haunt you forever, consciously and unconsciously.
Damn, I could relate somehow, though only a little
Ai could cry right now. She wanted to run over and hug the younger girl, kiss her senseless right there and then, and to hell with everyone else present.
:onioncheer: Go Aichan Go :onioncheer:
Hmmm....should I post the next part nao or wait some more....:D
Tsk tsk tsk the S thing is on duty
-
Answer
The event dragged on and on, making Ai more restless by the moment. She wanted to go over, but didn't dare to. Cursing her own incompetence, she was still beating herself over the head for it when something caught her eye.
She's leaving. Having kept a discreet eye out for the younger girl the entire time, Ai was acutely aware of the urgency that suddenly gripped her. She couldn't just sit here and wait passively any longer. She had to act. Now.
Excusing herself with a brevity that bordered on rudeness, she threaded her way through the mingling socialites, zeroing in on her target. As if sensing danger, her prey sped up; not quite running, but close to it.
The other girl disappeared out of a side door, Ai closely behind. The corridor was only dimly lit, casting long shadows in many directions. It left Ai with the impression that she was chasing shadows in an unrelenting night, seeking but not quite grasping the petite figure that haunted her dreams. Her breathing was loud in her ears, as was her heartbeat. She would not be denied.
She had not known that this exit led onto the street. All the better; she could now clearly see her target just ahead of her. Throwing poise and decorum aside, Ai ran up to her, heels be damned.
It only occurred to her upon seizing that thin arm that she had not even planned out what she wanted to say. Caught in an awkward moment she had herself created, Ai's jaw flexed soundlessly, her carefully developed acting skills having deserted her in that moment.
"Let go." Her voice was still the same, after all this time. Just hearing it made her relax a little. Not much, but a little. Her voice was rusty as she raised it in greeting, ignoring the snub.
"Reina."
Reina turned dark, defensive eyes to face Ai. She had intended to avoid the older girl whenever possible, but she had not counted on Ai being this persistent. Her flat gaze seemed to shake Ai up a little, but the older girl, to her credit, did not look away.
"What do you want, Takahashi-san?" Her voice was deliberately formal, and Ai winced to hear it. However, she did not let go, did not flinch away, for all of the pain it caused. Instead, she embraced it, knowing she deserved every single moment of that pain.
"It's good to see you again." Ai wanted to hit herself over the head as the words came tumbling out of her mouth. It was almost banal, but her mind had yet to catch up with the situation.
A dry, cracked laugh came from Reina. Clearly, she found the whole situation just as banal, if not a complete joke. Ai felt her tug at the captive arm, but did not let go. She wasn't going to let Reina leave her a second time.
Taking a deep breath, and ignoring the blank terror that surged through her, Ai fought down the choking sensation she had in her throat as she said as firmly as she could.
"I'm not going to wait anymore. I've waited long enough."
A frisson of something akin to fear (or was it doubt?) flashed through Reina's eyes, and the arm in Ai's iron grip tensed. Screwing up all of her courage, Ai kicked down her own fears and looked Reina straight in the eye as she declared.
"I love you Reina. Stay with me."
Reina wanted to laugh. Or cry. Possibly both. She had waited for years to hear this simple statement, wasted so much of her life in denial over it, and now it was here. She didn't know what to think, didn't know what to feel. A hollow sob escaped her, almost involuntarily. It wasn't supposed to feel like this.
Ai was holding her breath quite unconsciously, as if afraid of Reina's answer. She didn't know what she was afraid of, at least, until she started seeing spots in front of her eyes from lack of air. That, combined with the sudden shaky laugh coming from Reina, raised another surge of terror-induced nausea in her.
"Certainly took you long enough." It came out cold, bitter even. Ai seized up inside, a sudden sense of foreboding descending on her.
Reina could not have controlled the high, wild tone that came from her throat; the dark knot of emotions gnawing away at her all these months, doubts and fears that had whispered to her fueling her darker half that had fallen into despair.
"Funny though, I thought I was the one doing the waiting all this time." The words came out crueler than she had intended, years of hidden resentment spilling over. Ai flinched as if she had been slapped, but did not let go nor move away.
The sudden anger was intoxicating; it was easy to get lost in it. Reina almost did not recognize this side of herself, vengeful and menacing. It felt bitter and resentful, irrational even. Reina knew this, but found herself continuing on, even as some inner part of her grew increasingly wooden with every syllable.
"It's not that easy, isn't it? Well, I hope you enjoy feeling a fraction of what I felt for all those years." Ai's expression grew stricken even as Reina rushed through her diatribe, feeling nothing but emptiness flood in with the vindictive words.
"I'm leaving now. Goodbye."
She tore her arm away from Ai's suddenly nerveless fingers, the separation raw and jarring. About to turn away, she was surprised by the sloppy, desperate grip of Ai's fingers. She had thought that the older woman would give up by now.
"Reina, Rei, wait, please..."
"Don't call me that anymore, Takahashi." Reina bit off sharply, trying to free herself. Ai, however, had dug in with the dogged tenacity of the truly desolate, and nothing short of chopping her arm off would separate them, or so Reina was starting to conclude.
"Reina, don't do this to me. I love you."
Reina squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the raw pain in Ai's voice. A familiar pain resonated within her, wearing at her resolve. It sought to be reunited with her other half, to forget past hatreds, to begin afresh...
"I can't do this anymore, Ai-chan." Her own voice, choked as it was, emerged with a cruel clarity, even as that quiet, pleading part of her faded back into the silence within herself. She felt like she was having an out-of-body experience while still in it.
"I can't stand going on like this. It's too hard. Don't make it so difficult for me." The anger had faded into weary resignation. Reina could not even find it in herself to meet Ai's eyes. She could not look. If she did, she did not know what she would do.
"Is it so hard to just...start over?" That utterly defenseless voice pierced through all of Reina's carefully erected defenses, impacting sharply with a near physical pain that threatened to break her apart. Angry tears gathered in her eyes, but she did not let them fall.
"Yes, because I don't know if I can trust you at all, Takahashi."
Her response was tight, and Ai's grip loosened, as if reeling from that verbal blow. Reina forced herself to turn away, not daring to look back. Ai's voice was so quiet that she would not have heard it had not she been so attuned to the other woman.
"All I ever wanted was a second chance, but I guess...I'm just...too late..." The broken, beaten note in Ai's voice wrenched at Reina's heart, and she clenched her fists, grinding her teeth together, trying to force it out. She couldn't do this. Not much longer, not like this.
"I'm so sorry, Reina..."
Ai was crying; she knew it, even without turning around. A part of her wanted to stay, turn around and comfort the one person she had once loved so much that it hurt.
It was pride that spurred her into action, pride that kept her going. It was not that she loved Ai too little, oh no; it was that she loved her too much. And it hurt too much to be in love with her, so she had to let go.
Her own tears ran hot against her skin, but she did not even pause to wipe them away as she picked up speed, until she was practically running down the street. Her feet throbbed painfully in her boots, but she barely noticed as she slowed down several streets away, gasping painfully as her sobs grew more pronounced, so much so as to nearly choke her in their intensity.
The tears would not stop. How could they? She had just turned away from the person she loved, and who loved her in return. But it was too little, too late. They had missed their chance together.
Burying her face in her hands, Reina finally allowed herself to break down on that very street corner as curious pedestrians cast fleeting glances at this hysterical girl, even as her heart continued repeating in silence what she had not been able to say before.
I love you, Ai. I'm so sorry.
================================================
There. The end. Finito.
I had this in mind since about halfway through the story, months ago. It might interest a few people to know that this wasn't the first ending I thought of back when I started writing this. It was going to be something happier at first, but somewhere along the way I changed my mind. But something made me decide to end it this way.
Reina loves Ai, she still does even at the end. Why would she leave then, even after hearing that confession? Fear, uncertainty, a heart that knows betrayal better than it does affirmation, combined with too many little things that got in the way. Bad timing, certainly. Too little, too late.
What of Ai? She's the "villain" of this story, if there is one. In my eyes, everyone is a victim and a perpetrator here. They are human, they are selfish, they make mistakes, they are not honest with themselves or others. They love, they hate. Even if one knows that they made a mistake and tries to salvage the situation, as Ai tried to, they might not always be successful.
I wonder if I created a satisfying ending. I had doubts before, I still have them now. I wanted a tragedy of errors, mistakes that multiplied upon themselves to separate the two. They have never stopped loving each other, but sometimes love isn't everything. I think that's what I had in mind, and I hope it came through here.
Lastly I want to say, thanks everyone for following this story to its conclusion. :)
-
The other girl disappeared out of a side door, Ai closely behind. The corridor was only dimly lit, casting long shadows in many directions. It left Ai with the impression that she was chasing shadows in an unrelenting night, seeking but not quite grasping the petite figure that haunted her dreams. Her breathing was loud in her ears, as was her heartbeat. She would not be denied.
This seems like a nightmare.
I guess it was, huh? While I'm actually kinda sad they didn't get a happy ending (urgh, I can't believe I said that) at the same time, it's so real. Relationships don't always work. Things like pride and hurt get in the way. All in all, a perfect end to this tragic tale. Although, it did taper out there at the end...
EDIT: New page GETS! Also first reply.
-
"I love you Reina. Stay with me."
Finally
"All I ever wanted was a second chance, but I guess...I'm just...too late..."
Ouches
I love you, Ai. I'm so sorry.
Damn
At least Risa isn't the only one hurting and alone XD
Fictional yet factual :bow: :bow: :bow:
Thank you and will stay close for the next story :kneelbow:
-
I was actually kind of hoping for a happy ending, but then that wouldn't be as realistic as some sort of tragedy and heartbreak occurring after all things that's happened in this story. I could understand why Reina would be in extreme doubts about Aichan's feelings, and why she denied her despite her own strong feelings towards the woman. Aichan was just too late in the game, quite unfortunately.
This has been one heck of an emotional rollercoaster ride, Estrea. Epic story. :farofflook:
You know, if this was a drama, High-King's Destiny Love would be such a fitting ending song for the finale. XD
-
Well, what can I say, sad but true. Here it is this harsh reality. However, I'm glad Ai finally had said those three words to Reina even if too late because now they both will be able to move on.
I thought I would be more sad because of them not being together and happy in love but somehow as I look at them I think that it's better for them to be alone 'cause their relationship turned out to be so toxic in the end (and surely, both of them aren't quite right in the head too XD) that there is a possibility that the happy ending would turn out far-fetched. It was too late for them and it was just nanchatte renai. There was love but there wasn't enough trust and honesty. Simply, in this alternative world, there was no hope for ReinAi XD
And there is one thing I find funny about this story and it's Gaki XD She suddenly appeared and then suddenly disappeared and in the end it was as if she had never appeared in the first place. I honestly thought she would play a much bigger role in the ending XD
You created an awesome story, very deep, true and emotional. Surely, it became one of my favorites :twothumbs
-
The zero sum game came to an end, I thought that was quite heart-wrenching and I guess Ai as the villain would work out XD
-
I don't know how I feel about the ending just yet. I feel I should be sad that they didn't get their happy ending but at the same time they hurt each other (or rather, Ai hurt Reina) too much and left things too late to have that happily ever ending. Not that I'm suggesting anything (I'm really not :D), but it would be interesting to fast-forward the story a few years after into the future to see how they both ended up doing. Maybe Ai never recovered from losing Reina and is still hurting, bumps into Reina one day but sees that Reina is slowly moving on with someone by her side (Eri? XD), and Ai is left to reflect on her loss once again. Just because I want to see a hurting Ai after the pain she inflected on Reina (I'm so mean :lol:) Or maybe there's still something left in it for them. Just not now at this point.
We never got to know what exactly it was that led to Ai's low self-esteem and was so intent on protecting Reina by keeping her away from her or their history together, but nevertheless. I think it would have hurt Reina more to hear Ai finally say those three words than to have given her closure, but I do feel she made the best decision for herself. They could have had their happy ending now, but what if Ai raises her doubts in herself again and hurts Reina by trying to 'protect' her? I guess you're right when you say Ai is the villain of the story. She could have made things happen in this story but it's her loss. Which she probably knows all too well.
This was one epic story you put together. Hopefully next time you write a RenAi story Ai is a much happier character and they end up happily ever after :P Thanks for this one~
-
The pieces have finally come together, though they may not be pretty, but isn’t that just how life is. Not everything will end up with a happy ending and the consequences you get comes from the actions you take.
No doubt that they truly loved each other but it would have been too easy if Reina had just accepted Ai with "I love you Reina. Stay with me." for all of the emotional turmoil that they have gone through. As your earlier chap title has appropriately suggested, the girls have been living in a Doll House for far too long; so long that we can understand why Reina found it hard to trust Ai this time.
I agree with Peti-chan on Gaki’s disappearance right after the epic confrontation (evil me had imagine that it was Gaki who took the candid photos of the bar drinking just to spite the girls XD). I do wonder too about details of the past (and the mentioned man that they hate so much) that triggered this rollercoaster ride of nanchatte renai between the 3 girls.
:roll: Of course, it would be nice to have a happy ending too…. *whistling*
-
OH MY GOODNESS!! Bravo!!
I think this is the first time I ever cried reading a fanfic...
I was feeling both of their pain at the same time and just couldn't hold in the tears!
Great job!! :twothumbs
-
Awww I thought for sure it was going to have a happy ending... :farofflook:
after all they've been through.... :mon whimper:
Risa must be thanking her lucky stars that she only had to cameo in this whole love affair...
poor Reina though, I feel the worst for her in the end :gmon tears:
I think I was holding my breath throughout most of the ending....so emotionally gripping!
even til the last moment, I still had hope that Reina would turn around...
but it's okay...it feels like the ending but at the same time it feels like...maybe, just maybe one day when they, erm mostly Reina, are able to forgive and forget, they may be able to at start over. *hehe once again, fan in denial here* :sweat:
Thanks for the fantastic read :vv:
-
Quick note to everyone, I'll most likely be following up this series with a sequel!
*hears crows fly past*
Ahem. Rather than an actual sequel, it's going to be a reload of the timeline. Basically...we start from where things went wrong the first time round here in Nanchatte Renai, but instead of going down the same path, something different happened! And we get...a less painful ending. :D
In other words, you guys get to see the backstory from a different perspective. Isn't that exciting?
Oh and the new series will be titled Destiny Love. Yes, after that High King song. XD After translating the lyrics (well, in the process of doing so), I decided that this will be a good song to base the story on. :D
お楽しみに！
EDIT: Before I forget, since the reload will take a different route from how Nanchatte developed originally, I will provide a short variation guide after each chapter to point out what happened differently in Nanchatte, and comment about how things really change because of those little variations. Hehe. XD
It'll be some time before I can write and post the new story though, because I'm moving to a new house, so I won't be online for the next week or so (and if I do, only sporadically). Wait for it!
-
YES!!!*finaly replies XD*
i cant wait for the backstory X3
and i hope that ur move goes well X3
-
Kekekekekekeke
Ai gets to taste her own medicine!
But how is the ending my fault?! o.O I understand saying just post one chapter up, but the ending my fault?
:P
Destiny love... LOL Well, this time it will be a happy ending? Or maybe it'll end being depressing again thanks to me? :P
-
Destiny Love? Don't you mean Disney Love? :lol: :lol:
-
If it was Disney Love, I reckon Risa will make tons of appearances. :lol: *brick'ed*
Anyway, I'm looking forward to the sequel. :twothumbs
-
^ :lol: :lol: :lol:
-
Dying to know the other reason Reina left~ Other then the uncertainty something else must have pushed her over the edge though~, but i guess that will be in the sequel ya?
Sighs~ Bad timings :on speedy:
Don't be mad.. :on chew:
:mon bat:
-
I don't get it! *flops down in my chair*
When I first had a sneek peek of your final chapter, I had a bunch of questions swirling in my head. But I thought I would have them answered after I read the in between. Bu..t...B...u..t...THAT WASN'T THE CASE!!! :angry:
Why can't RenAi get together in the end? A case of bad timing? But now they know about each other's feelings. I'm sure if they talked it out and tried to get through this together they could succeed? Maybe?
You know, if this was a drama, I'll definitely throw my remote at the TV. It's TERRIBLE not having an ending, ENDING. :D
PS: I keep hearing Disney Love instead of Destiny in the Hiking XD song.
So when is the new fic gonna be done. I wanna reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeead~~ :grin:
-
*stares*
:shocked:
...................
:gyaaah: such a heart breaking ending!!! Different feelings were felt but still, it ended in catastrophe..
gaaahhhh.... If only Ai was honest with her feelings in the first place.. It clearly showed how important the time is in their relationship. A fraction of a second could result in a different ending.
What if Ai admitted she loved Reina when Risa asked her?
What if Ai admitted she loved Reina after Reina confessed her feelings to her even though she heard her answered 'no' to Risa's question?
It's almost the same... but somehow, the result would be varied.
In the 1st question... well, Reina would be happy that at last... the feeling was mutual...
on the 2nd case however... it would raise some question deep inside Reina. Why Ai didn't say yes to Risa in the first place? It looks like she didn't want her gf.. wait... ex-gf to know that she love Reina... Isn't Ai proud of her? Why is Ai scared of admitting it? And it would just make Reina doubt the credibility of Ai's feelings for her and it might lead to break up.... :sweatdrop:
Am I still making sense? ahahahha... It's already 3am here and I haven't slept a bit since yesterday... :grin:
Anyway... I'm not fully blaming Ai for what happened with her... It's just that... Reina suddenly vanished even though she said she'll be back... I wonder what happened in the office.....OMG!!!! it just hit me!!! :on kimbo:
Wait... I somehow see the connection... :cow:
I guess... the manager (that Ai was trying to save Reina from) learned about their relationship and threatened Reina to go away from Ai!!! That must be it!!!! And it all started when Reina accidentally answered Ai's phone...ahahaha... :grin:
To summarize my rant.... I just want them to have a happy ending.... but then again...the ending's really good...(been used to Lil_Hamz character deaths and sad ending :yep: ) I hope for a happy ending on your Disney Land.. I mean... Disney Love... uh..wait... Destiny Love sequel... :rofl:
-
*is finished reading*
...
I have to say, throughout the reading I just couldn't quite get into RenAi. I'm not sure why (perhaps, I don't like Reina as much as I do Risa... ^_^). I was aching for Risa... what she must have felt to be so brazenly betrayed. >.<
BUT, there were also moments when I felt sweetened by RenAi. Everything Reina was saying leading up to her 'I love you' to Ai and everything spoken afterwards... this scene was a particularly powerful one and had me really cheering for Reina.
Love the angst. :heart: Really well written and the way you structured the story was effective too.
I had a feeling it was a 'man' who had done something to Ai in her past to shape the way she is now... I don't remember what it was, but you dropped a hint early on. I was surprised nobody picked up on it... but yeah, good job with the authoring! :thumbsup
Despite feeling a lot when Risa was officially dropped, I didn't cry. You managed to make me cry at the end though, after reading this bit:
They had missed their chance together.
It rings true. Life is like that - full of missed opportunities. It was frustrating that Ai was only willing to face up to her feelings when it was TOO late. >.< Even more so that Reina couldn't bring herself to forgive Ai months afterwards when they come face to face again... but these are people we're looking at, and their flaws disable them. Especially during the most critical of moments - we're liable to being reactive rather than proactive. It was only when Ai realised that she'd lost Reina (when it suddenly hit her that Reina had not once looked up at her after receiving the phone call), that she was suddenly sparked with emotion and into action. Great depiction of some aspects of the human nature.
There are still some questions left unanswered though. Perhaps we really don't need to know, but you've sure made me curious.
- WHY exactly did Ai think she had wronged Reina? Is it simply because she thought she had 'tied' Reina to her? I always thought it would be something a lot more dramatic...
- WHAT exactly had happened between Ai and the mystery 'man'? Ai apparently felt filthy after what had happened, and so we can imagine so much... but apart from this, there is still a lot fog surrounding this part of Ai's past. I wonder if you'll ever elaborate? (perhaps in Destiny Love?).
Anyways, I really had an enjoyable read. A little frustrating at points (but I guess that's your aim :P), but a really good read nonetheless. Essy has so far lived up to her name. :twothumbs
I'll definitely give Destiny Love a shot now.
Thanks for sharing this story with us. :love:
-
I FINALLY FINISHED READING THIS!!!!! XD XD XD
As you already know but still...I felt that I ought to at least comment. I REALLY enjoyed it, even though my Mame-chan suffered. :nervous I like the chemistry that seems to exist between Ai-chan and Reina. But my super favorite part was the physical fight between Reina and Gaki. XD As soon as Gaki slapped her, I was like Damn...this CANNOT end well. :P And then the punch and I was literally laughing at my computer screen. I, personally, believe that Reina did deserve that. She was being a bitch and Gaki couldn't take it anymore. Call me a horrible Gaki fan, but I think it was good that she and Ai-chan broke up...even though TakaGaki is definitely my top pairing. They didn't have what it takes in this fic (well, duh...it's a ReinAi fic) and it's better that they gave it up before something more serious happened.
ReinAi bathtub sex was fucking hot. :twisted: *has a thing for bathroom sex, though it used to be chiefly TakaGaki bathroom sex*
Anyway, thank you for the great read, Essy~ *hugs* You're so awesome~
-
This is the fic that made me addicted to H!P fanfics :heart:
After finishing read the whole chapter of this fic, I turn into emo mode for days :(
It makes me cry and frustated
You write ReinAi so well :thumbsup
ReinAi's relationship is very complicated
I feel bad for them. No happy ending for ReinAi in this fic :(
But I guess that is the right choice
Nanchatte Renai was epic. An awesome story, very deep and emotional
It's definitely one of my favorite fic, though it's so sad and heartbreaking :cry:
Good job Estrea-sama :twothumbs
-
THIS. FIC. IS. SO. AWESOME. GOOD.! :farofflook:
But throughout the reading, I was in denial. I couldn't bring myself to believe that they can't be together and I FREAKING HATE REINA'S STUPID PRIDE! So like many others, I was EMO FOR SOOO LONG! :on cloudeye: :fainted: Even now, I'm kinda sad. :mon tantrum: :badluck: I mean your fic was really gooood and that's probably the right way to end it, but I can't get used to sad endings! :frustrated: :pleeease: :tantrum: :imdead:
Please, if you ever write another ReinAi fic again, which I hope you would, give it a happy ending so I can move on! :mon pray2: :mon angel: (You should write more since you're so good with ReinAi) :heart: :yep:
I want to read it again, but I'm afraid of the ending :bleed eyes: so I'll go read Destiny Love. :grin:
Thank You for the fic(s)! :twothumbs
-
:fainted:
do you know how much this fic drove me insaneeee?!
i actually hated ai's character! i actually wanna slap her hard and so so so and blab how evil she is!!!
i felt pity for gaki-san.. but then, it wavered easily as soon she disappeared out of the scene...
I FELT MORE HEARTBROKEN FOR REINA!!! :gyaaah:
i wish i could say more, but it feels like i'll say the same things over and over again
this fic is just... heartbreaking. full of.. saddening emotions.. it had set me rolling off to the floor..
it is good. yeah. very very good.
why it seems i felt like this recently...
then i realized, yeah. it is estrea and her Destiny Love.
-
I read this fic after I started Destiny Love haha.. :sweatdrop:
Anyway, this was one of the best/saddest fics I have ever read :bleed eyes: It literally made my heart hurt :on speedy:
I actually didn't feel bad for Gakisan in this fic.. I feel like she should have known their relationship wasn't really going anywhere :smhid
But Reina and Ai!!! :frustrated: I love how Reina came with Ai's schedule book after their phone call and the aigaki fight. She just knew she needed her :farofflook:
Why must they hurt each other so :bleed eyes: :bleed eyes: The ending makes me cry :on cloudeye:
They're both prisoners of love~
-
SURPRISE!!!! Almost 2 years later, and I return with one last hurrah!
Put on your seatbelts people, let's rock and roll!
-==============================================
Sing with me.
The note, with its familiar sloppy scrawl, had been delivered to her via manager along with a sealed manila folder. Reina had waved away any explanatory words from the man before he could even speak. It didn't seem necessary.
This was the first and only communication coming from that person ever since that night when everything ended. Reina had been prepared to close that chapter of her life, even though a little voice within her pleaded with her to not give up, to give things a chance, to give herself a chance to heal.
She chose distance instead. I need to grow up. That was her excuse to herself. She had spent too much time crying over one person. There was more to the world than that, that woman. That insufferable, bewitching, frustratingly beautiful example of a woman. It had taken a few months more after that to effectively seal off her external reactions to sight or sound of her. Which had been challenging -- she liked watching TV and that woman was on half of her favorite dramas. Then again, it helped her to build immunity. She refused to let even a memory dictate her life. She would move on. She would prove she could.
Eventually she had come back to the industry. There was no keeping her from it for long. She had not been idle in the interim though. Reasoning that she couldn't rely on modelling forever (diversification!), she fell back on training her vocals, and met up with a few of her acquaintances to make the necessary contacts for good songs to throw her way when the time came. She did not sleep with them though. That part of her life was over. If she chose to bed someone, anyone, it would only be because she wanted to, not because she was running from something. She would prove that she could do things her way. No more hiding.
Her return had been carefully orchestrated. Her comeback had made a huge splash in the headlines, the proverbial return of the prodigal child. She gave the image of the penitent sinner, but gave up nothing of the dangerous edge that made her so wilfully attractive, even wanton, to her fans. The contrast struck a chord, and the choice of songs made available to her had given her the opportunity to enhance that image.
She became a hit. She had still been relatively unknown before -- her scandal had merely caused a big enough ripple to require public banishment -- but now people really sat up and took notice. People knew her name now. She was actually actively recognized on the streets. She had billboards and posters over half of Tokyo. She was popular, the wild child redeemed but still untamed. She was successful, driven, and happy in her work...
...until now. The note seemed to burn in her hand and she crushed it, dropping it without a second glance into the waste paper basket. She was about to toss the manila folder after it, but hesitated. The weight of it was insignificant, but it felt like a ton for all it meant. Without really knowing why she did it, she put it back down on the table, unopened. Her manager watched without comment until Reina turned back to him, and they began talking shop like nothing had happened.
When Reina left the room, the manager wordlessly picked up the abandoned folder before leaving to trail after his moody charge. It was too good an opportunity to waste, regardless of what Reina herself thought of it. He had to find a way to make the girl at least glance through the contents. With that in mind, he made a call to his colleague about the inevitable delay.
~*~*~
An end to yet another busy day, and Tanaka Reina was inordinately grateful to finally be home. Her manager had disappeared on her shortly before the recording ended, leaving just a note and a neatly written list of her engagements for the following day. Reina scowled at the packed schedule, but felt a surge of energy at the prospect of juggling everything. She had turned into a workaholic, to the delight of the company, and the dismay of her manager, who fussed over her like a mother hen. Reina thought that Sasaki needed a break. The plump man's entire life revolved around his job -- her, in other words. She did not pause to consider the irony in that statement in regards to her own life.
Tossing her things down with nary a thought, she jumped into the shower and emerged refreshed a satisfying half hour later. Lightly dressed in t-shirt and shorts, she padded around her living space with a sense of purpose, fetching food and drink for herself.
It was only until she settled down in front of her TV that she noticed a suspiciously familiar folder, this time with a note from Sasaki.
Proposal for a new collaboration. Read it and give me your input asap.
-- Sasaki
Reina narrowed her eyes. She wasn't that stupid. Pointedly ignoring the folder, she grabbed the remote and aimed it at the TV. She was determined to be a couch potato for the rest of the night. Work be damned...at least until tomorrow morning.
An hour and a drama episode later, Reina had her hand on the remote again. Channel-surfing had its moments, but not for any longer than a few minutes. Her attention drifted back to the innocent-looking folder lying on her coffee table.
Flip. Some boring variety show. Flip. News. Flip. Food show. She watched for about 2 minutes before changing the channel again. Sports, boo.
"Oh fine!" She tossed the remote and reached for the folder, tearing off the top and pulling the contents out.
Music. The bars and notes stare back up at her, accompanied by annotations in a familiar hand. Fussily precise, the personality of the previous owner positively screamed up at her in every correction and comment. Not that she needed much help identifying her.
Despite herself though, Reina paid attention. Even though her first reflex was to thrust these papers away, burn them if possible, her eyes were fixated on the soaring notes and the lyrics they carried. She hummed the bars, feeling how they vibrated in her chest.
Her voice wavered as she tried the chorus. To her surprise, unbidden tears sprang to her eyes, and she blinked them away fiercely. The individual parts were neatly highlighted and underlined. Already, she had some idea of how it was meant to sound.
It was not a song to sing alone. At the final page, there was another short note.
I can't sing this with anyone else. Do with it as you wish. You know where I am.
Again, unsigned. Not that Reina needed further identification. She sang a few more lines, experimentally. Her voice caught. She couldn't sing this alone. She couldn't sing this at all.
If I told you that I'm nothing without your love
If it's not you, it's meaningless
Reina put down the papers carefully, closing her eyes as she leaned back on the couch. The song itself was no less than a confession, a desperate plea to be heard. She felt her own pain rising to echo the screaming between the lines. She could already imagining singing this, not alone, but not with just anyone either.
Her. It had to be her. She understood now why this came to her. It did not make things any easier. This was too intimate, too personal. She would have to bare her soul to make this song work. It wasn't just about hitting the right notes and harmonizing with the other party. It was...
Reina's hand had already closed around her mobile, the knuckles white on the shiny shell. She swallowed hard as she texted Sasaki.
I'll do it.
~*~*~
The following whirlwind of activity unrelated to this special collaboration took up all her attention after that, for which Reina was eternally grateful. Naturally, it did not postpone the inevitability of facing her partner eventually. It simply made it easier to not think about it.
The first practice venue was set, the dates confirmed. They had to meet up to discuss the parts, decide the harmonies and the like. The technical details of the song, along with actually practicing it. It would take many gruelling hours, even not considering who it was doing this with her. Reina sighed. Best to just get it over with, now that she had agreed against all common sense.
She was already there, when Reina entered. Sasaki hurried forward to greet the other manager, leaving Reina to nod at the crew around the area. She did not purposefully slow down, but she did take her own time before deigning to turn her attention to the source of her current anxiety.
The woman in question was engaged in quiet conversation with a bearded man, their heads bent over what Reina recognized was the songsheet. More notes covered this copy, and Reina had to suppress an instinctive surge of irritation at the closeness between the two.
"Ah, Tanaka-san, good of you to join us." The bearded man greeted her as he glanced up. He gave Reina a perusing gaze, as if trying to get a better profile of her. Reina ignored him. Her eyes were fixated on his companion, who was only now slowly looking up.
The jolt as their eyes met was palpable, but it subsided when Reina forcibly yanked her gaze away, trying to pay attention to what the man, who was apparently the songwriter, was saying.
"...as I was saying to Takahashi here, this song requires a lot of cooperation and chemistry. After all, what duet doesn't?" His chuckle was sincere, his eyes twinkling in good humor. He sobered a little as he gave a piercing look to Reina.
"I have high hopes for you, Tanaka. I knew I wanted Takahashi for this song, and I allowed her to choose her partner. I had expected a man at least, so this is unexpected." He stared seriously at Reina. "I hope you understand what's involved here. I won't tolerate any tardiness."
Reina looked sharply at her partner, one Takahashi Ai, who looked away uncomfortably.
"Let's just get started." Ai's voice was soft, surprisingly in control despite her obvious discomfort. Reina carefully schooled her face to rid it of any unwanted emotions, and sat down at the table to begin.
It was surprisingly easy once they put aside their personal feelings to focus on the work at hand. Both of them were throughgoing professionals, so perhaps it was to be expected. They were even able to debate whether certain parts were more suited for either one of them, but that was just the beginning. The real test came in actually singing it and finding out as they go.
It was the songwriter Hiro who made them get up to try it at last. He needed to hear them, well, he needed to hear Tanaka most of all. He had heard her other work, and while she really wasn't that bad, but she wouldn't have been his first choice for the song. But he respected Takahashi's choice, and if they worked well together, it would be enough.
And so it began.
~*~*~
BANG!
The clatter of discordant chords shocked the room to stillness. The two girls did not move. Ai looked strained. Reina's face was set in a scowl. Hiro glowered at them, his hand flat on the keyboard where he had just smashed it there.
"What the hell is wrong with the two of you? Where's the chemistry? You two barely look at each other! So what if you hit all the notes? It means nothing!"
He stared first at Ai. "You, Takahashi! You sound like a damn robot! That's not how you sounded when you first tried it alone! Where's your passion? There's no emotion at all!"
He turned angry eyes to Reina, who was staring at her sheet with a blank expression.
"And you, Tanaka! I don't know why Takahashi picked you. You call that singing? If you don't care about what you're doing here, you better leave right now."
Reina was about to bite back with a retort, but Ai clamped a firm hand around her wrist, giving a quick shake of her head. Reina swallowed her words, her jaw set defiantly. Hiro gave them both an irritated glance.
"Take a break, you two. Don't come back until you sort things out."
He turned back to his keyboard. Reina shrugged, then looked down at where Ai's hand was still attached to her wrist. Ai also looked down, and they shared a look. Reina shook free of her grasp, turning away, but stopped when Ai reached forward to lay a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't go." Reina shrugged.
"I just need something to eat." She continued walking. When she reached the door, she glanced over her shoulder.
"Aren't you coming?"
A shocked pause. Then hurried footsteps, and the door opened into blinding daylight.
~*~*~
"You've been doing well."
"So have you."
That was the extent of their opening conversation. The rest of it was taken up by an exaggerated attention over their food. It was ridiculous to anyone who knew anything about them. To any other unobservant stranger though, it would appear that they were getting along just fine. Unfortunately, Baachan was not just anyone.
"It's been so long since you two came together! Reina-chan, you're so thin now! You must be working too hard! Come, eat more...and Ai-chan, stop picking at your food or I'll think you don't like my cooking anymore!"
Both girls shared a mutual glance of exasperation. There was no escape from the fussing. Baachan busied around them and her other customers, still sprightly despite her age. She made passing comments about anything and everything, determined to not let her two favourite girls act so distant towards each other. They had been such good friends, it was a pity to see them be so strained around each other.
"Really, Ai-chan, you always come alone so I was glad when you finally found a friend, and then you proceed to come alone again for the past two years..."
Reina looked at Ai, who seemed fully intent on her food, not even making a sign of acknowledgment at Baachan's inadvertent revelation. When the old woman puttered off again, Reina said lightly.
"So did you choose that building because it was close to this place?"
"Maybe..." Ai looked up. She was struck by how both of them had changed, sitting here at the table. Two years was comparatively short in the grander scheme of things, but it felt like longer. She held up some noodles with her chopsticks.
"Some things never change." She proceeded to slurp up the noodles, leaving Reina alone to her thoughts. They did not speak again for the rest of the meal, but walked side by side when they went back.
Outside the door, Reina stopped, making Ai pause in her tracks as well.
"If we're going to do this, we'll have to do it right."
Reina did not look at Ai as she said this, her hand already turning the handle to enter.
Ai hesitated at the entrance, her voice a whisper that Reina barely caught.
"I was always only waiting for you to look at me..."
~*~*~
The pendulum still swaying
The thread which follows my last hope
Why did it snap and break off?
This kind of heartbreak
Is the realization that comes from trial and error
I understand but still I am lost
Is this really for the best?
We've might have had the possibility
Their eyes never left each other's towards the end. They barely noticed when the music stopped, their gazes dropping from each other as both tried to recover from the emotional exertion.
"Now I know why Takahashi picked you." Hiro's voice broke the silence. He seemed happier now, since he finally got the effect he was looking for. "I'm glad you two worked things out. Now, let's work on this part, I thought that..."
He ignored the lingering awkwardness between the two leads, his voice intent as he went into the technical details. After a moment, they too put aside their personal hangups and went into the discussion in earnest.
~*~*~
They kept their lives separate, as separate as they have been since that night. The weeks flew past, and save for the times when they sang together, they remained resolutely apart. Yet those barriers were slowly diminishing, and they both knew it. Every look they exchanged, every impassioned note rising in tandem, the air between them smouldered when they sang, and everyone around them could see it. That they remained outwardly aloof to each other off stage might have seemed strange, but the staff were used to such disparities, and made no issue of it.
The first live performance came and went, and suddenly the song was everywhere. Bad enough that two girls were singing what was obviously a love song, but to others with a longer memory, it seemed particularly ironic that it was these two. They were invited for interviews. When asked about their chemistry, they gave polite answers that said nothing of substance. Just two girls who were good friends. The lie was just a thin veneer that could barely hide the raw emotion raging between the two the moment they hit the stage.
One night, Ai even cried. Don't be so gentle, I don't need your pity.
Reina soothed away her tears. Don't cry... don't cry, Baby...
The next day the tabloids printed a freeze frame of their performance, their foreheads almost touching, their intimacy almost like lovers. They ignored it. The fans loved it.
The publicity lasted for weeks. Even when the next interesting thing came along, the tabloids seemed reluctant to give up on the couple. There was always a small article of something about them tucked away in a corner, just waiting for something to trip the trigger. Not even the media knew what they were waiting for, only that there was news somewhere there.
It was impossible to ignore the rekindling flames. They found every excuse to stay away, but somehow ended up exactly where fate (or their managers) intended them. Sasaki and Moriya appeared to have some sadistic instinct when it came to finding work for them together. Reina even threatened to fire him, but Sasaki just smiled and went on with his work. He knew Reina wouldn't really do it. He was right.
Everything remained unspoken between them. They already repeated everything they would have to say to each other in that damn song anyway. Every single damn time. The more she sang it, the more Reina felt doubts about having left that night. It hurt to have Ai so close now, but yet so terribly far away...and it was a distance of her own making.
She pushed you away first. Her pride reminded her. Reina clung to that pride, all that was left to her. It was perhaps foolishly stubborn, but Reina was like that. Ai seemed content to wait, patiently devoted to the one person she still felt so strongly for.
It seemed like nothing would break the stalemate. Reina was too stubborn to back down, and Ai was too stubborn to give up. Like two angry bulls, they remained separated by a mere fence, glaring each other down. It seemed like the twain would never meet.
~*~*~
It was really only a matter of time before something broke. Reina was headed to yet another production meeting, that somehow had Ai involved somewhere too. Reina was beginning to have her suspicions about their managers. Ai seemed too passive to have arranged all this, and Reina knew Sasaki well enough to expect some scheming on his part.
Well, it wasn't as if it was detrimental to her career, quite the reverse, actually. Reina hummed to herself as she turned a corner. It wasn't like seeing Ai was so bad now...
She stopped. There was a man and a woman by the far end of the corridor, the man towering over the much smaller woman. They were almost close enough to be touching, but it was clear that the woman had her back to the wall and was clearly shrinking still smaller. Reina watched dumbly as the man reached forward to touch the woman's hair, only to have her flinch away and say something, trying to back away from him.
Reina found herself walking quickly over, her mind red with a rage she hadn't felt in years. When she got closer, she could see the hidden terror in Ai, like a highly coiled spring that was about to break under the tension. She reached out and pulled Ai away, towards herself.
"Leave her alone." Reina growled. The man blinked. He was some kind of movie star, with his exotic good looks, Reina remembered vaguely. Tachi-something. Whatever. She didn't care.
"See you around Ai-chan. I look forward to our next production." He waved jauntily, pointedly ignoring Reina who was still standing guard in front of Ai protectively.
"Thanks." Ai said quietly. Reina whirled around, pushing a stunned Ai into the wall.
"Don't just stand there and let everyone walk over you! You're not a damn doormat! I won't always be around for you!" Reina cried out angrily.
"He didn't mean anything by it." Ai averted her gaze. Reina scowled.
"He was touching you and you hated it. You hate it, it's all over your face!" Reina threw up her hands in exasperation. "I can't rescue you all the time!"
"Then don't." Ai said quietly. Her eyes were full of hurt. "You stopped already. Why did you start again?"
Why, indeed. Reina was silent for a moment. When Ai made a movement to leave, Reina spoke up suddenly.
"Because I care."
Ai stopped. Before she could say anything, Reina had already come up to her, sweeping up her hand in a quick gesture, tugging her along.
"Come on, we're already late."
Baby steps. They did not let go of each other until they reached their destination, and parted only with reluctance. Reina did not look at Ai after that, but Ai was watching. Despite herself, she smiled. There was hope.
~*~*~
Reina tried to remember when she stopped loving Ai. She even drew a rudimentary timeline on her notes, fully illustrated with cartoon caricatures of significant events.
First meeting. First time at Baachan's. First time she stayed over. The little things came effortlessly to her. Even the time when Ai accidentally walked in on her in the shower. Or the first time they baked pastries together. The ensuing flour fight. Little things.
Then, the bigger things. Yamashita. Reina drew him with horns and a tail. Fuji she drew with more reverence, and regret. She had lost her best friend and the rest of them due to her vendetta with the devil. She reminded herself to visit the grave, making a note on her calendar.
The time when Ai left her. She left a huge blank in the timeline, the only part not illustrated. She couldn't remember it clearly herself, only that it was full of pain. She did not like to think of that time. Even after Ai returned, they never spoke of it. It was just one more thing that went unsaid between them, during that time.
The transition from friends to best friends to sort-of-lovers and then back to friends with benefits was murky at best. Reina remembered the first time she kissed Ai. Even with the drunken haze, it had been electrifying. A moment to remember. Their first time, that happened because Ai was not drunk enough, and Reina more drunk than she thought. Drunk on her. Reina shivered, and it wasn't because of the cold.
And then there was Gaki. Reina's hand hovered uncertainly. Viewed in hindsight, she felt bad for the girl. She had no business getting involved in this whole mess, and Reina knew keenly that if she had not run from Ai after hearing about the Yamashita affair to begin with, perhaps one less person would have gotten embroiled in their drama. The blank of those months was when Gaki had slipped in, and gotten caught in the tangled web they wove.
The end had been accelerated by Gaki's sudden appearance in Tokyo. In a way, Reina was grateful. It gave her a chance to shatter the farce that she had gotten herself into with Ai. They had gotten too comfortable with hurting each other. Reina wondered why she allowed Ai to do it to her. She wondered why she couldn't have forced the issue herself, sooner.
But it was too late for regrets. This was where the path had led her; a path paved with bad choices and the best of intentions. There were too many "if only"s in her life.
She came now to the present, and couldn't think of a single instance that told her that she had stopped loving Ai. She merely...took a break from thinking about it, when she had left that time. She reviewed the time she spent away; a time spent on work, on distractions, on anything and everything that kept her busy and not focusing on how she felt.
The realization came crashing down: she had never stopped loving Ai. She had known it all along, of course. She had merely chosen to ignore it. Time would create enough distance for that intense emotion to become manageable, perhaps regressing to a faint affection and an attachment to the woman she once loved. Or so she assumed.
It might even have succeeded, given enough time. The sharp pain had faded to a dull ache as the months rolled by, so that she was able to gaze upon Ai in various media without feeling too terrible. Give her a few more years, and she might even be able to be friends with Ai again. Well, maybe friends is too optimistic a term. Friendly acquaintances, able to work amicably, but without the personal attachment.
It wasn't such a bad plan, if Reina had anything to say about it. However, even the best laid plans were not immune to life's machinations, and Ai had been swept back into her life with all the courtesy of a typhoon. Reina cursed Hiro for writing that song, for presenting it to Ai. She couldn't very well blame Ai for sending it on to her; it would have killed Reina to see Ai singing that song with some other man. She didn't think her indifference could have carried that far. Perhaps in public, but she would undoubtedly have ended up seething inside.
Reina was roused out of her musings by a firm hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Sasaki peering curiously at the various figures on her notepad. She covered them deliberately with one hand and glared. He got the message and shrugged, but not without a smarmily knowing grin first. Reina had to resist punching him in the face. It really didn't help that his nose was such a tempting target...
She almost really did hit him when he told her her plans for later. Somehow she had been manipulated into dinner with Ai and her manager. A meeting sans Sasaki, who had another ongoing engagement. Reina had no doubt that Moriya, that evil bespectacled woman with all the tenacity of a Jack Russell and the discipline to match, would disappear at the last minute as well. If she had any doubts of an ongoing conspiracy before, she was under no illusions by now. There was such a thing as being too obvious.
Reina tossed her notepad in the air, catching it on its way down as she went on her way. So she still loved Ai. What was she going to do about it, since Ai obviously wasn't going to go away anytime soon -- not if their managers had anything to do about it?
The answer was obvious. She would go along with it, and see where that path led.
Was not life an adventure? Since planning led her nowhere, perhaps it was time to leave it to fate and see what happened. Reina smiled as she headed out.
Time to make peace with herself.
~*~*~
Dinner was less awkward than she expected. Moriya really did abandon Ai at the restaurant, and judging from the expression on Ai's face, Reina figured that she too had realized by now that their managers were up to no good. In fact, the first words out of Ai's mouth had been "you too?", and then they both laughed.
Admitting to herself that she still loved Ai made things easier for Reina. Acceptance gave her a peace of mind she had not had in a long time. She smiled and laughed more genuinely, and felt the reciprocation from Ai. Actually, Ai had not altered her behavior in any way, that much Reina noticed. It was only her, always had only been her, all this time. It was funny how the tables had turned. Reina could laugh at the irony she now saw, and she did.
"What's so funny?" Ai, a little anxious, a little amused. Reina looked at her, then smirked.
"You. Me. Us." Reina pointed with her fork for extra emphasis. They were already on dessert. Strawberry for Ai, mango for Reina. They stole forkfuls of pudding from each other, just like old times. Another wry smile curved Reina's lips. Ai had been honest. She would do no less herself.
"Nothing's changed at all, has it?" Reina raised her water glass reflectively, taking a sip. Ai said nothing, idly prodding at her pudding with her fork, but her eyes were intent on Reina.
"We still feel the same about each other...you do, right?" Reina stared straight at Ai, who looked half-strangled by the pudding that went down the wrong pipe, choking a little at the unexpectedly direct question.
"Yes. Yes I still do." Ai dabbed at her lips with the napkin. "But you knew that."
"Not until that night at the charity event. You never said a word before." Reina scowled at the memory. "At least I was open about my feelings."
"Do you still feel the same then?" Ai asked softly. Her hands were knotted around each other, under the table. Reina shot her a sardonic look.
"Didn't I just answer that earlier?"
"What? Oh...oh." Ai stuttered adorably, flushing under Reina's amused glance.
"So what do we do now?" Ai asked, avoiding direct eye contact for the moment.
"I was just wondering that myself." Reina admitted freely. Ai chuckled.
"Isn't it strange? Just talking about something like this."
"Better than not saying anything." Reina countered. They look at each other, and then smile.
"I should get home now."
"Me too."
"I won't be seeing you home, you know."
"I didn't expect you to."
"Good."
"Good."
"Okay...now what."
"Now we pay the bill and leave."
"Sounds like a plan."
"So are we leaving?"
"I guess so."
"..."
"..."
"This is ridiculous."
"I know."
"Well...goodnight."
"Sleep well."
"Sweet dreams."
"You too."
"...we need to shut up somewhere or else we'll never leave."
"Yeah, let's just...go."
"I'm leaving."
"Me too."
They only just managed to not miss the last train in the end. In their respective empty carriages, two girls smiled at the same time, and thought of the days to come.
~*~*~
They visited Fuji's grave together. Reina put down a pack of his favourite cigarettes. Fuji wouldn't have appreciated flowers, though that was what Ai brought.
They made time for each other. Little things, really. A meal in between busy schedules. Sometimes they even ran into each other in Shibuya and went on shopping sprees.
Reina went home. She didn't tell her mother about Ai. She didn't have to. Simply turning on the TV and some rerun of a music program ended up airing their duet. "You two look good together" was the only comment her mother made. Reina said nothing, but she didn't change the channel. Later that week the three of them had dinner together. All things considered, it went rather well.
Ai went home to Fukui. Reina went with her. The time spent persuading (re: forcing) Ai to actually go back home was almost equivalent to the time spent on the Shinkansen. Needless to say, they didn't get much sleep at all, and Ai even managed to postpone the trip back one night with that excuse. She didn't get away with it for long. The next day she ended up on her own doorstep with Reina all but holding her iPhone hostage.
Things were awkward. Ai had not been home in years. She had not left home on good terms. Her mother had been happy to see her, and greeted Reina like another daughter. The father was another issue. He had been gruff, bordering almost on hostile, but Reina had caught him regarding Ai with what looked like tears in his eyes when he thought that she wasn't looking. She made sure that Ai stayed long enough to get a good talk with her father. She was excluded from it, but nothing was broken. Ai's eyes were red when she came back out, but she hugged Reina at first sight. Their first real hug, ever since they had come to terms with each other. They stood still for a long while, neither willing to let go, until they had to be prised apart with a cough from Ai's mother.
They spent more time together after that. It was mostly unspoken, spontaneous and unplanned. One of them would show up somewhere near where the other was working, hang out a little, maybe pass them a drink or food. They never discussed anything important, but every moment felt precious. Their hands brushed often, and they sat close by each other.
It was perhaps months later, when Reina showed up at Ai's doorstep before midnight, and hauled the sleepy-eyed woman out despite the mumbled protests. Reina certainly didn't mind when Ai leaned on her shoulder and dozed while they were in the cab, and their fingers remained entwined throughout the journey.
They ended up on a familiar hill outside of the metropolis. The sky was overcast, and Ai rubbed at her eyes sleepily as she took stock of the place.
"Isn't this...?"
"Yes." Reina rummaged around her bag. "Close your eyes."
"Why?" Ai yawned. Reina turned the groggy Ai in the other direction.
"Just listen to me for once, alright?"
Ai murmured her assent, feeling vaguely intrigued by all the mystery. It took an effort to not fall asleep with her eyes closed, but the bite of the night wind was enough to keep her awake.
"Okay, now open up."
Ai opened her eyes. Overhead, the sky exploded into colorful starbursts, whizzing brightly before burning out. Ai put a hand to her mouth, overcome.
"Happy birthday, Ai." Reina came forward, holding lit sparklers that fizzed merrily, one in each hand. "There wasn't a meteor shower, so I had to improvise." Paying someone to set the fireworks off at her signal was worth every yen. The look on Ai's face was beyond price.
"You..." Ai was speechless. Reina grinned, handing Ai one of the sparklers.
"I wanted to do this. For you." That was all the explanation Reina needed. It was also everything Ai needed. Her smile was radiant in the fading light of the sparklers.
"I love you, Reina."
"I know."
Their lips met as the sparklers went dark. The only fireworks that remained were the ones that continued on in their hearts. It was never too late to hope.
Dare to dream. Dare to love. They had finally come full circle.
In every end, a new beginning...
=======================================================
Would like to thank Junki for moving it out of the library for me. :heart: Thanks Junki!
The real final ending. The ending they deserve. It took me two years to recover from the trauma of writing NR. Lmao.
The song used in here is Possibility, the duet between BoA and Miura Daichi. It's a great song. Go listen. XD
And so, full circle. These things take time. XD
I hope now, we can lay old ghosts to rest. :)
-
:on gay: I could cry happy tears right now :farofflook:
What a wonderfully long happy chapter.. From Reina's denial to her acceptance :wub: The ending was so incredibly sweet and romantic :ptam-wub:
Thank you so much for this :mon angel:
-
I know I already told you what I think but I thought I should comment here...since I'm rarely seen in the fanfic section these days. >_>;; :lol:
I thought it was perfect. I love to imagine Reina and Ai baking together, hanging out at home together...Ai walking in on Reina showering... :drool: You did a great job wrapping up this amazing story!!
Now...Nocturne? :D hehe
-
2 years seem about the right time to regroup. Seems about the same time one would take to recover after a breakup with a great love.
You know, I intended to put off reading this til later, because I knew it would affect me (good/bad ending aside) emotionally enough to want to immediately tell you what I thought of it. And I was right. (Damn you, Essy! *shakes fist*)
It's pretty easy getting emotionally entangled in the story whilst reading it, so I can only imagine what writing it must feel like. You have to throw your entire being into the effort, immersing yourself entirely in the story and characters. You once said that there were similarities between ReinAi (the both of them) with certain facets of your own personality which made it possible for you to write them with such passion. I would say 'ease', or joke about outsourcing Ai to you in my stories, but it is never truly that easy, is it?
So in the process of writing your protagonists, you face very unpleasant truths about yourself and how you would probably react to the situations you've placed the characters in. You have to discover the protagonists' strengths and weaknesses- they can't all be fluffy Mary Sues (and we can't always be foreign exchange scholarship students with the ability to fight off polar bears and live with the Inuits). Reina and Ai in NR are in essence, an extension of yourself which goes beyond merely identifying character traits and putting it into words.
'Write your heart out', is what Joyce Carol Oates said in The Faith Of A Writer and I think you've achieved it with NR. Thanks for sharing each moment with us.
-
Oh my god, Thank You! :mon money: Now I can finally go back and read Destiny Love then Nanchatte Renai! :mon roll: Even though there was that "make-you-totally-EMO" period, I got the "happy ending" I wanted! :luvluv2: :farofflook: That was probably a couple of chapters combined. :P Soo long, but I love it! :heart: ReinAi cuteness! :nya: :mon inluv: They've finally found each other! :mon lovelaff:
Any chances that you're going to write more ReinAi?? :w00t: :hehehe: I'll be your loyal reader! :on asmo: XD
Excellent writing! :twothumbs
-
Wow, how long has it been. I honestly did not hope to see continued. previous finale was too ... emotionally a heavy Suddenly a surprise in the form of continuing.
First thought after reading: wow, that was awesome!
I'm pretty choosy in terms of fanfiction, and so few things can catch me. There are some interesting things, there are just good, but there are those in which you slowly but surely gets bogged down, as in the spider's web.
But... It's sensual, deep, emotionally, and at the same time serene, a tangle of many different feelings. I do not have enough epithets and language skills to convey all the sensations :sweatdrop:
Hehe, seems I got too emotionally. :nervous Sorry for my slurred speech.
Estrea, thanks so much for a new ending.
-
Hey guys! Thought I could do an afterword and reply to your thoughtful comments. XD
astro18: Well I technically could have split that final chapter into different chapters with more detail. But I wanted to get it over and done with, and condensed it into a single mass. XD It felt right too. Just little snapshots of what happened in the aftermath. I'm glad you found it sweet and romantic. It took a lot of work. :P Happy that you enjoyed the story and hope to see you around on my threads again! :D
ichigo-chan: Awww kream~ Didn't expect you to comment. :3 Yes I felt that I finally was able to give NR the ending it deserves. I needed to heal too. From writing this. From the events in my life. I feel like I grow stronger with every crisis. XD Thanks for the support, and what is this Nocturne you speak of? :P
grac: I think the time spent in recovery was more from the emotional torture I was experiencing both during the time of writing and after. If I'm not wrong, looking at the dates on the chapters, I was suffering from clinical depression at the time of writing and was on a combination of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication. Which I ditched somewhere before the final few chapters of NR. Which might have accounted for the kablooey ending where everyone dies doesn't get anything. Haha.
BUT at least we finally came to this. It's been a long 2 years. Haha I'm glad I could elicit an emotional response. :3 I HAVE NO REGRETS. :lol:
Writing it was like tearing my soul out and laying it bare on the page for everyone to gawk at. I'm not sure where I began and where they left off. Did writing it make my condition worse? Was my condition the reason why it all went to hell? Perhaps a combination of both?
Writing Ai has always been a challenge. I feel a greater resonance with Reina. Reina's a good kid. She doesn't get enough credit for her goodness, only on her bratty character. XD Ai is so incredibly frustrating and whimsical and serious and practical and a dreamer and I love her and hate her and I think there won't be anyone else quite like her. XD But that's completely redundant. No two people are the same. XD
Also, lol at the mention of my fictional alterego. XD I wish I were that awesome, but I must contend myself with the grubby reality. Sadly. :/
Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I really appreciate every word. :) I'm glad I was able to meet everyone, through the forum, through my writing. It's a blessing to have crossed paths with all you guys and girls out there. :)
kano-chan: Thanks for reading! I am glad that I could finally give you the happy ending you wanted. :D Yes, Reina and Ai finally found their way back to each other. :) Oh my dear, I've been writing nothing but ReinAi for a couple of years now. XD Dunno if you've been following my latest series, My Stupid Family. I think you'll be quite happy with the plans I have in mind then. XD Thanks for the vote of confidence!
nighell: I didn't think I'd continue it either. It just randomly happened one morning that I got an idea in my head and had to do something with it. XD So you guys benefited from my spur of the moment ideas. XD I'm glad that despite your select taste in fanfiction, I was able to grab your attention. :) Btw I could understand your English after some thought, so no worries! We're all improving. :) And you're welcome. The new ending is as much for myself as for all my readers. I think we all agree that this is so much more gratifying, no? XD
Awright people. This is the most definitive, final end of NR and I do not intend to change it. XD However, that does not preclude me from writing spin offs. :lol: Well, not really. MSF is taking up the bulk of my time and energy now (disregarding work :P). Hands up from all you people who want to see more of the happily ever after between Ai and Reina of this ending. :P I know I kind of want to too. :lol: I believe I still have a few chapters left of the 10 chapters of fluff I owe Fenfen...assuming she still reads this at all. XD
So tell me what you think! Oh and, thank you to everyone who suffered through the whole of NR, the sugary soup of DL, and then persevered to see this final conclusion. XD You guys are great. I wouldn't be much a writer without my readers. :) Thanks again everyone! Love you guys.
-
I read this a few days ago but didn't have the time to leave a proper comment so I had to come back.
:bow: Thank god there was an alternative ending. The original ending was too painful to digest, as I was hoping for a happy resolution after Ai had finally come to her senses and realised her true feelings towards Reina. Just as she was ready to be true to her feelings and utter those three words Reina had been wanting to hear, it was then Reina's turn to push Ai away, and the 'they had their chance but it was too late' resolution was just damn depressing (while very realistic).
So to come in one day to find a bonus ending has been updated, and to find out it was a happier ending a few years on from the original ending, was simply :wub:
See Reina, just give it time, kill your pride a bit, and give Ai the chance......and it's all rabu rabu :D
Though, when you eventually return to updating Destiny Love *coughcough*, I do hope some of the twists in NR are fixed up for the better. For example, it was a bit of a shock to read that Reina's friends had to be sacrificed in the battle against Yamashita here in NR. I hope this is one of the ripples that has a better turn in Destiny Love, seeing as Reina finding out about Ai and Yamashita turned out in a much better scene than in NR (at least Reina got to see for herself the assault scene for what it was, not the tail-end of it and then run away from Ai when she tried to explain).
Which also gives me hope that perhaps Gaki wouldn't be making an appearance in Destiny Love?? :D
Anyhoo. Thank you for the bonus ending, and the sub-title is just fitting - they indeed came full circle, and having finally come to terms with each other there only lies a bright future ahead of them :twothumbs
(I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you continue to write the awesomeness that is ReinAi~~ :lol: )
Oh, a happily-ever-after epilogue would always be welcome. Well, anything ReinAi would be welcome in my books :P
-
Beautiful you know whats funny...Im not a fan of ReinAi because i've never really pictured them together like SayuAi (i dont even though if thats their name together xD) But It was really good and i think it just made ReinAi my new 3 favorite coupling.. (With my number one being the awesome Tanakamei and the second being the most popular TakaGaki) :thumbsup: good job! <3
-
I'd like! I'd like to read more fluff stuff whatever u got up your sleeve of this! :w00t:
Cool, actually increddible. Finally we can/have the possibility to let go of the ghosts of the earlier ending :rockon:
It's been great to read all this. Thank you! :thumbup :hand:
-
God, I finally found the time to read the whole thing in one go..
And I have to say...
LOVED.EVERY.BIT.OF.IT.
Thanks for the best ReinAi fanfic!!! :wub: :wub: :wub:
-
I finished this story yesterday and i loved it! I always want to read Ai paired with anyone but Risa, so thank you!!! I am now looking around for more of your work! Thank you for sharing this and others in the forum ^^ :twothumbs