A Mad Tea PartyBut for the lack of tea, pastries and a festive atmosphere, this might have been a pleasant event.
Then again, there was a lack of glaring over the table, so it was definite improvement over what she had expected it would be like. It seemed that even Risa was surprised by the invitation in, and so was rather subdued by her standards. After all, it's hard to be consistently nasty to someone who had just passed you a cup of coffee that you really needed. It would be rude, if nothing else.
Reina, for her part, decided to forego the nastiness until she felt less groggy. She was certain that things could always get worse, something already evidenced by how Risa just showed up on her doorstep right after that unexpected phone call. This naturally, brought up the question of just how Risa had found her. Reina was fairly sure Ai had not informed her...girlfriend...about where Reina lived.
"I have my sources." Risa had replied delicately. It might have been more difficult had Reina been an ordinary girl, but since the yankii was involved in the entertainment industry, it was not impossible to discreetly find out where she stayed. Of course, the fact that Reina lived within a short walking distance of Ai's place had been somewhat of a rude shock, but Risa managed to not let her emotions run away with her before dealing with the situation.
Not that either of them was dealing with the situation at the moment. Things appeared to be at a stalemate for the moment, both girls choosing to focus on the coffee, albeit for different reasons. Risa, for one, had not expected to be treated with any kind of cordiality, given her somewhat skewed impression of Reina since the first time they met.
"What do you want?" Risa was the first to break the silence. Reina stared into her cup with single minded intent. Silent for a moment, her voice was speculative when she replied.
"If I said I want you to leave her, would you?"
With that, any possibility of Risa thinking that Reina might not be such a bad person pretty much went down the drain. Putting down the cup sharply, Risa glared at the younger girl.
"Why should I? You're the one who's coming in between us!"
Reina's eyes narrowed as she looked up. "Just for your information, Ai-chan looks for me on her own, I certainly didn't start it."
Liar, her conscience whispered. Reina shoved the tiny voice aside and continued.
"I don't know why Ai-chan agreed to go out with you, but you guys barely see each other. You barely
know each other. What kind of a relationship is that?" Reina wrapped her hands around the cup, glaring at Risa over the rim of it as she continued to taunt her guest.
"Do you know what her habits are? Do you know what she likes, what she hates?" Risa grew paler with every question, a barely noticeable tension gathering in her shoulders as they started to shake. Reina pressed on, almost maliciously.
"Has she even gone any further than holding your hand?" Reina knew exactly how far Ai had gone with Risa, which was pretty much nil. "Has she even seriously kissed you? Touched you? Have you even..."
Slap. Risa's hand moved before she could even process the action, catching Reina full on the face. Reina reflexively held a hand up to her wounded cheek, eyes glinting sharply. She did not seem particularly surprised by the blow.
Risa though, was breathing heavily. She was upset. All of Reina's questions had hit her where it hurt. So much for being civil. The two rivals glared at each other, as if daring the other to make another move.
Reina did. Slowly moving her hand down, she did not say anything right at first, instead tilting her head up at an angle to show her neck clearly to Risa. The intention of that movement was unclear to Risa at first, but then she saw it.
Vivid marks, obviously left in the heat of passion. The triumphant glint in Reina's eye, more than anything else, spoke volumes about how she had received those marks.
Risa suddenly found herself feeling a little faint, her breaths coming shallowly. Reina leaned forward in an almost friendly manner, finding some vindictive pleasure at tormenting her guest.
"I could show you more, but unfortunately most of the others are in places I rather not let someone like you see." Barbed words, leaving no question just where those other marks might possibly be. After having felt resentment towards this person for so long, Reina was certainly not holding back.
"Just give up. Go away. You don't know Ai, not like
I do." Reina hissed lowly, her hands tightening on the table.
"Why..." Risa whispered, her eyes fixed on her lap. "How can she do this to me?"
"Because she doesn't love you." Reina told her bluntly. The yankii allowed herself a moment to feel the irony of that statement, since she wasn't sure if Ai loved her either. One thing she was sure of though, was the intimate
physical connection that they shared.
"I don't believe you." Risa answered, but her voice was shaky, uncertain. Gritting her teeth together, she stood up suddenly. "Where is she? I know she's here."
Reina stood up as well. "I wouldn't wake her if I were you." Eyes glinting maliciously. "We were up most of the night."
Risa winced at the implication, but shoved her discomfort aside. "I need to talk to her."
"Why won't you just give up? She can't love you." Reina argued. Her reason was shaky, since all she had was something based off an instinct, but Reina knew that as long as Ai had not dealt with whatever was holding her back, none of them could move on. It was far easier if they just let go.
Despite knowing that, Reina never gave up. So, in a way, she wasn't surprised when Risa didn't give up either.
We're both idiots, Reina thought scornfully to herself.
Morons, both of us.
"I don't care what you say. I just need to know why!" Risa pushed Reina away, heading towards the only logical place: the bedroom. Shoving the door open before Reina could stop her, Risa stepped in and stared.
Clothes were dumped messily across the floor, but Risa wasn't looking at that. Her attention zeroed in automatically on the peacefully sleeping figure curled up under the sheets.
Reina shoved past her unceremoniously, crossing the short distance to sit on the bed, gently caressing Ai's messed up hair as the tired girl stirred under her touch. Glaring over her shoulder briefly, Reina returned her attention to Ai, who always had trouble getting up from bed due to low blood pressure.
"Nngh...Rei..." Ai whined childishly, burrowing her face into the pillow. "Five more...minutes..."
Torn between wanting to let Ai sleep, and having her wake up (since being gawked at by a third party was hardly the most comfortable experience in her life), Reina shook her lover lightly, and was rewarded with a short growl as Ai suddenly tugged on Reina's shirt with surprising strength. Caught off guard, Reina fell flat on her front and face to face with a half-awake but already amorous Ai.
Risa twitched impotently when her straying girlfriend quite obliviously planted a kiss on the all-too-aware Reina, who after a moment of hesitation, returned the kiss quite enthusiastically (and with a certain amount of sadistic intent). The act was like a knife to the heart, despite knowing that Reina and Ai shared an intimate relationship before this. Seeing it for herself made everything all too clear, and all the more painful.
Feeling understandably betrayed, Risa marched over indignantly and pulled Reina away from Ai. Reina looked like the cat that got the canary; Ai though, blinked in confusion before registering Risa's presence. Her eyes widened, and she belatedly pulled the sheets up to cover herself as she looked back guiltily at her erstwhile girlfriend.
Sucking in a deep breath, Risa was torn between beating the crap out of Ai, or yelling at her. Or both. Possibly both. Ai looked like she was about to bolt, while Reina simply had a cynical sort of look in her eyes. The yankii was at a point where she was too jaded by the whole business to give a flying fuck about what happened next. The events of this day had thus far conspired to make her stop caring so much for now.
"You..." Risa paused, struggling to get her thoughts across. Her throat was painfully tight, every muscle in her body tense with anger. "I..."
Any number of things passed through her mind. Things like
'How could you do this to me' or
'What's so good about that scrawny bitch'. Or, to sum up simply,
'why'.
"Cat got your tongue?" Reina asked snidely, folding her arms and leaning against the headboard of her bed.
That did it. Before she could think about it, Risa snapped. Slapping didn't seem to carry the magnitude of her rage, so she didn't do it. Instead she grabbed Reina by the front of her shirt and slugged her hard across the face, sending the smaller girl clattering to the ground and hitting the back of her head against a shelf.
Ai cried out wordlessly and rolled out of bed without thinking, going to Reina's side instantly as the younger girl came up spitting some very ugly curses. Concern turned to restraint as Ai had to hold Reina back from attacking Risa.
A sharp pang hit Risa again at the sight of Ai's response to Reina being hurt. The obvious closeness aside, it was clear in the way Ai looked at Reina like the girl was the only thing that mattered in the world that Ai was very much in love with Reina. How else would someone totally ignore their own nakedness and just jump to the defence of someone else?
Ai, for her part, was whispering softly to Reina, trying to get her to calm down. The bruises were already starting to show on Reina's pale skin, and Ai winced in sympathetic pain, holding Reina protectively close even as the younger girl strained against her while glaring at the offender.
I can't let it go on like this. The injury to Reina spurred Ai from hesitation to decision in mere seconds, surprising even herself in the swiftness of the switch in her mind. Caressing Reina's cheek gently, Ai said.
"Reina, I'll deal with this. Wait outside." Her tone was gentle, but there was no mistaking the resolute nature of the words. Reina stiffened in her arms, but Ai could not see her expression. To offset her worries, Ai kissed the bruised cheek gently and murmured.
"It'll be alright, I promise."
The tender exchange between the two only made Risa seethe further, but she controlled herself...barely. She ground her teeth together when Reina turned and pulled the sheets from the bed to cover Ai up, sneaking a quick kiss on the lips at the same time.
Had the girl no shame?Reina glared at Risa before walking out of the room, closing the door behind her. Half the tension in the room seemed to melt away from her departure, but there was still plenty to go round. Risa turned her attention back to Ai, who had gotten up and was pulling the sheets around her like some kind of cloak.
"You didn't have to take it out on her." Ai said evenly, but avoided Risa's eyes directly, choosing instead to look at somewhere around the other girl's chin instead.
If seeing Ai being intimate with someone else was heartbreak, seeing her defend that other person was akin to Ai taking the remnants of Risa's heart and trampling all over it. Risa felt the beginnings of tears burn in her eyes, but she swallowed them with righteous indignation, choosing to focus on her anger and hurt instead of giving in to the sorrow.
"You never loved me." It was more a statement than a question, and it hurt like hell saying it herself, but Risa did it anyway. A choked sob escaped her. Her lungs heaved painfully. She would
not cry, not now. Not in front of this heartless creature that had betrayed her.
"Not in the way you wanted me to." Ai avoided a straight answer. Then, almost meekly, she added.
"I'm sorry."
A half dozen accuses and recriminations leapt to the tip of her tongue, but Risa couldn't get them all out at once. Action took over words, and she shoved Ai into the wall, pinning her there by the shoulders. Ai didn't resist, only holding on to the sheets and looking away guiltily.
Silence reigned for the next few moments; Risa struggling to gather her thoughts, where Ai was merely mute, silently accepting any abuse that might come from her once-girlfriend.
"Do you think..." Risa's voice cracked halfway, another half-sob escaping her.
"Do you really think, that a single 'sorry' will undo what you've done?" Her voice was low, accusatory. Heavy with pain. Ai closed her eyes, the muscles along her jaw rippling.
"No."
Silently accepting any retribution that might occur, Ai steeled herself mentally; she deserved this, deserved anything Risa would want to do to her. What harm was there to add a few more pieces to an already broken doll?
The kiss was surprisingly gentle, and Ai made no move to resist. Neither did she respond, and the chaste kiss was over almost as soon as it began. She heard Risa sigh, felt the grip on her shoulders loosening. She opened her eyes cautiously.
"You really..." Risa's voice was tired now, dejected even. The anger seemed to have seeped out of her, leaving only emptiness in its place. Raising her eyes to lock onto Ai's, Risa stared deep into those luminous orbs for a long moment, as if searching for something.
"You really love that girl." The conclusion was right there, sitting out there in the open for Risa to see. Only a fool would miss the attachment Ai had to Reina, and the kiss she had all but forced onto the older girl had only served to confirm what she sensed earlier.
Ai loved Reina. Cared about her so much, that she would do almost anything for the girl. Except, of course, be in a serious relationship with her. Risa wondered why. Clearly, something had happened between those two, something she did not know about.
A barely noticeable tremble ran through Ai at Risa's words, as if she was frightened of them. Closing her eyes, she forced the familiar doubts ringing in her mind back down, the little devils tormenting her every single time she came close to admitting her feelings to Reina.
It's not love. Soft, accusatory.
You're just using her. Insinuating, insidious.
You'll only hurt her if you get too close. Damning, final.
She deserves better."I'm not..."
Not good enough. Ai choked, tears flowing silently down her cheeks. Dark feelings assaulted her, threatening to break her apart as she started to shake.
Uncertainly, Risa held Ai tentatively as the older girl began to sob harder. Wondering what had gotten her started, and wondering when it would finally be her own turn to break down in this whole business.
On the other side of the door, a fist clenched hard into itself, nails digging into the palm. Head down, knees drawn and tucked up against her chin, Reina didn't move for a very long moment.
Then, slowly at first, she began to chuckle. Lowly, deeply, bitterly. Her fist remained closed, and amidst the shaky laughter, red trickled out from within her palm, dripping onto her feet.
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See, the titles made sense! I was referencing Alice in Wonderland the whole time.

Don't ask me why, I'm on an acid trip here.
The drama! The angst! The whole Essy-ness of it!
Ok clearly I really need sleep. Tell me what you think!