JPHiP Forum
The Hello! Project Fanfics => H!P Fanfics => Topic started by: OTN1 on October 24, 2007, 12:23:31 PM
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Silly avatar, silly story. A continuation is possible, but for now, just this:
What Really Happened To Her
"Kazunoko! Kazunoko!!!"
A dishevelled mess of black and blue rubber and white mesh ran through the hallway as if in a panic. A full head of long, black hair blew chaotically in the wind created by the speed of the running figure.
"Kazunoko!!! I know you're there!"
The frantic girl stopped at a door and started pounding on it with her fist.
"Open up! Kazunokooo! Open up! I've come to take you home!"
The yelling had attracted the attention of the various other occupants of that floor, and heads were poking out of doors and from around corners to see what was going on. When they caught sight of the scene, none of them understood, but they knew that whatever was about to happen, it was going to be highly entertaining... and quite possibly painful to watch.
"What's all that noise? I'm changing!" an angry voice rumbled from the depths of the room, and the door swung open, revealing a hastily-thrown-together Miki, one sock on her foot and one still held in her hand, her shirt on backwards, and her belt buckle undone.
She took one step back to allow the door room to swing inwards and was surprised by being pushed back two more steps into her room. A fishing net was thrown over her head, and she fell onto the ground with a cry.
"I knew you were here, Kazunoko!"
Livid, Miki tore at the net and pulled it away from her face, squirming out of it and standing up to face an Ogawa Makoto who looked like she was about to go fishing along the coast of Russia in the winter.
"Ogawa! What in the f-"
"No excuses!" Makoto cried in a comically low and gruff voice. "You're coming back to Hokkaido with me and getting married to a proper fisherman!"
There was a pause of disbelief as the words sunk in. Miki's mouth remained open like that of a stupid fish, and she held the net in her hands loosely. One slight tug would have easily removed it from her grasp.
"Pardon?" she asked in a sensible, calm, and even polite tone.
It never hurt to learn what your fellow human being was talking about in order to try and reach some understanding and avoid labelling him or her as clinically insane.
"I didn't give you permission to come to Tokyo and get a job! Papa's come here all the way from Hokkaido to bring you and your sisters home!!"
Then again, listening further to talk like that, it didn't seem to Miki a hasty conclusion. Makoto was insane. Either that or she was taking a joke too far. It had been so long since they'd been made to act as crazy Hokkaido-born country bumpkins for their weekly television show skits. Miki had put that period of her life behind her. Apparently Makoto hadn't, and she was anouncing that to the entire building in her loud voice.
"Stop playing around. I'm really not in the mood," Miki sighed.
She was busy. She had things to do, people to see, segments to film.
"Playing? I'm not playing!" Makoto said, launching into another tirade about the happiness inherent in the state of being married.
Miki blinked a few times and realised that the ranting girl was dead serious.
"Did you get hit in the head? You're not my father. You're not even from Hokkaido!"
"Don't you take that tone with me, young lady!" Makoto bellowed, grabbing the net again, spreading it out in her arms and then bear-hugging Miki in order to capture her again.
"What-" Miki started, but she was silenced by a giant plastic fish falling out of the net and smashing into her face.
Makoto pushed Miki, who was now moaning in pain, out the door and started to drag her down the hallway.
"Yaren soran soran soran soran soran! Hai hai!" Makoto sang and then whipped around to look behind her. "Who replied?!"
She saw nobody and then turned back in the direction she was walking.
"Ah, guess it was me," she said, looking a bit confused and then tightening her grip on Miki.
"Mako-chan," came a quiet voice.
Makoto made no sign of having heard.
"Mako-chan," the voice repeated.
Makoto kept going, dragging Miki like Tarzan would Jane.
"Mako-chan!"
Takahashi Ai, her clothes also looking hastily thrown on, grabbed Makoto's shoulder to pull her back. In response, Makoto screamed and jumped back, letting go of Miki and falling down to the ground in a ridiculous crouch.
"Don't touch me!"
Ai look taken aback and she stared at Makoto, who was making strange, jerky movements to express her aversion to being touched.
"What the hell's gotten into you, Ogawa?!" Miki burst out, finally having recovered enough to become angry again.
She stood up beside Ai and stared Makoto down.
"Why are you saying you're her dad and that you've come to take her back to Hokkaido?" Ai asked, gesturing to Miki.
Makoto jumped up to her feet and back a metre away from the two girls.
"How did you know that?!" she screeched in shock.
Miki and Ai exchanged glances.
"Did you feed her anything strange this morning?" Miki asked.
Ai shook her head.
"Is she on medication?"
Another shake of the head.
"Did she bump her head?"
A shrug.
"Do you speak?"
Ai blushed and then nodded.
"Yes," she confirmed softly.
"Never mind!" Makoto yelled, hefting the net up and over Miki again. "Come with me!"
Miki was ready for her this time. She wrestled the net off and deftly turned it on Makoto, wrapping the nutty girl in it.
"Ogawa Makoto. Snap out of it!" Miki yelled, slapping Makoto hard on the cheek.
Gasps and other pained intakes of breath could be heard coming from the various other Hello Project members who had gathered around to watch the strange scene. All was deathly silent as Makoto's closed eyes fluttered open.
"Fuji... Fujimoto-san?" she asked, looking into the face of her senior, who was holding her captive in a fishing net in the middle of the hallway. "What's going on?"
Miki let go of Makoto warily and untangled the net, throwing it to the ground and taking a step back.
"What's your name?" Miki demanded.
Makoto, trying to brush her hair with her fingers, stopped and looked at Miki with a bewildered expression.
"Why am I wearing a rubber fishing suit?"
Miki sighed.
"Your name?"
"Ogawa Makoto," came the reply.
"Your occupation?"
"Entertainer."
"Your sex?"
"Female," Makoto replied with a frown.
"Do you have any daughters?"
"Fujimoto-san, why are you asking me all this?" a flustered Makoto shot back finally.
Miki rolled her eyes.
"You've got issues, Mako-chan," she said, and she stalked off back to her room, slamming the door behind her.
Ai, being the kindred spirit that she was, walked up to Makoto and put her arm around the confused girl's shoulders.
"I'm not sure why," she began, "but you captured Fujimoto-san in a net and..."
She tried her best to explain.
The day ended with an irritated Miki, a talked-out Ai, a bewildered Makoto, an entertained floor of Hello Project members, and no explanation as to what had possessed Makoto to revert to her old skit character.
A week later, Makoto announced her intention to resign from Morning Musume. Her public reason was that she wished to study abroad. The reason she gave to producer Tsunku was that she felt she needed a break from the mentally trying job of script memorisation and the constant state of having cameras trained on her. Nobody - especially not those who had been present on the fifth floor of the studio building a week prior - questioned her actions, and Makoto slipped out of Morning Musume with little flare.
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Crazy stuff man! XD XD XD
But poor Mako-chan :lol:
"Do you speak?"
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
A continuation? Yes please! :yep:
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So that was what was going on, I thought they were doing the skit but Mako-chan didn't have her wig. Rather than her losing it, I thought she was sleep walking like Miki does. So all this happened on the 5th floor eh? :rofl: Aww...I feel sorry for Mako at the end. :cry: Usually people expect Mako to act all wacky like that so she has an outlet. I bet if Yoshizawa senpai was there, she would play along. All for her own amusement of course. XD Thanks for the story!
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Crazy Mako-chan was great, but the ending was kinda sad. :(
"Yaren soran soran soran soran soran! Hai hai!" Makoto sang and then whipped around to look behind her.
GOLD!!! :on lol:
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-dies of laughter nine times and blows up hell-
So you really DID write this, huh? xDDDDDDDD
I SOOOOO look forward to the rest! <3
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Crazy...... but entertaining. XD XD XD.. Two thumbs up!!!!!! :lol: :lol:
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GREAT!!!!!!!! LOL
i really hope u'll continue that xD
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Really? You like? Thank you! I didn't think I'd have the inspiration or the time today, but this slipped out. Re-watching my DVDs is fun.
How Gossip Starts
A sunny day. A bright blue sky. A few solid white, fluffy clouds. Temperature in the mid-twenties. Flowers fragrant. The clean smell of fresh earth recently refreshed by rain showers that had passed through the previous night.
It was the kind of day that put everyone in a good mood. No frowns could be seen. Tears were few. Even Fujimoto Miki was in a delightfully perky mood. She walked down the street, her face set in a half smile and her mind wandering. She thought about the beautiful weather and her wonderful luck not having to go into work until the afternoon. She thought of how she'd lazed around in bed until half past ten before getting up. She thought about the delicious lunch box she'd bought from the supermarket. She thought of her exciting evening plans - a dinner party at her friend's house - and her double luck of having no work the next day.
Yes, life was good. At that moment as she walked down the street, Miki felt real, true love. Love for her family, her friends, her co-workers, the supermarket staff, the assembly line workers at the bento box factory, and even the next door neighbour's noisy dog that had not barked a single time last night. Nothing could put her in a bad mood. Nothing. Not even the miserable-looking Ishikawa Rika that appeared in her field of vision when she walked in through the front doors of the studio building.
Rika was sitting at the edge of a couch, her hands folded neatly on her lap, her head down, eyes trained on the floor. She looked absolutely pitiful, her eyes drooping with grief, her eyebrows clenched together in pain.
Normally, Miki would have recognised this as a sign that Rika was sad and that she should be left alone. Miki liked to be left alone when she was sad. It was only natural for her to assume that everyone was the same.
But on this fine day, Miki was in such a good mood that she stopped and really thought about it. She may have wanted solitude in a time of sadness, but Rika may have had a reason for choosing to sit in a public place with such a long face. She wanted attention. She wanted comfort. Miki knew then that she'd better help the poor girl. It was a crime to be gloomy on such a gorgeous, perfect day.
And so she changed her course. Instead of going directly to her dressing room, she went over to the couch and sat beside the moping girl.
"Rika-chan?" she asked. "What's wrong?"
She wasn't particularly close to Rika, but she wasn't a total stranger. They were, after all, the same age, and they had chatted several times since Miki had joined Morning Musume.
Rika looked up slowly, her eyes seeming simultaneously vacuous and full of sadness.
"Humans are..." she paused, "... sad creatures, don't you think?"
"Huh?" Miki asked, cocking her head to the side in surprise.
Where had she heard this before?
"Humans are such sad things," Rika repeated.
"Why do you say that?" Miki asked, ignoring the strangely familiar feeling she was getting.
"This morning when I woke up..." Rika trailed off dramatically, "... I realised I'd forgotten to hang my washed clothes to dry and they were all damp and musty smelling in the morning!"
Miki almost fell down. What a strange thing to get sad about.
"That's not a big deal," she said thoughtfully. "You shouldn't be sad about it."
"No! It's terrible! It's terrible when it happens to you!" Rika cried
She turned away from Miki and quite obviously applied eye drops to her eyes and cheeks. Miki frowned as Rika then whipped back around with an exaggerated sob, eye drops rolling down her cheeks.
"It's too sad!!"
She began to weep. Miki was still trying to connect the dots in her head and piece together where she'd seen a scene like this before.
"I don't get you," Miki finally sighed. "I don't think wet laundry's such a bad thing. I just don't understand."
Rika stopped crying for a second and looked around the room as though expecting someone to pop up. Miki followed Rika's gaze and saw nobody and nothing of interest. Rika seemed a little put off by this.
"He's not coming today," she sighed under her breath.
"Who?" Miki asked, confused.
Who was Rika talking about? Who was "he"?
Rika sighed.
"I can't go to work. I'm going home."
She stood up to leave. Miki jumped up quickly.
"But you've got to go to work," she declared.
Rika shook her head adamantly.
"No, I can't. I'm going home."
"You can't. You've got to go to work."
"No."
"Yes!"
"No!"
"YES!"
"NO!!"
Suddenly angry at this spoiled girl, Miki grabbed Rika's arm and flung her to the ground.
"You freaking coward!"
Rika hit the ground and looked up at Miki in pain.
Just then, the three other new sixth generation members walked into the building. They paused in fear.
Kamei Eri, Tanaka Reina, and Michishige Sayumi looked at Miki standing with an angry expression on her face and then at Rika, who was looking like a poor, tortured mouse on the ground. They drew their conclusions. They quickly shuffled into the elevator in fear. Fujimoto-senpai was a lot scarier than they'd thought.
Rika and Miki, however, didn't notice. They were wrapped up in their own world.
"You think wet laundry is such a bad thing?!" Miki yelled. "Well, there are worse things that could happen!"
Rika watched as Miki assumed a heroic air, hands on her hips and her stance that of an inspirational speaker.
"You can always re-wash your clothes, hang them to dry, or find something else in your wardrobe to wear. At least you have clothes! At least you have a home and the ability to do laundry! Everyone's life isn't so easy. You should be grateful for the things you have! I always dye my clothes crazy colours in the wash, but I pull through, Ishikawa. I pull through!"
Slowly, Rika's look changed from tortured to hopeful.
"So don't give up, Rika-chan. Don't give up! Come to work and then go home to re-do your laundry! You can do it!"
Rika sprung up from the ground.
"I've got it, Miki-chan!" she cheered. "Rika will do her best!"
She cheered and gave Miki a hug. Miki, caught in the moment, hugged Rika back, and they giggled like silly girls until Miki realised what was going on. She took a step back and fixed Rika with a serious, slightly scary look.
"Um, I'm going to go now."
Rika nodded blankly.
Miki remained standing there.
"Um."
"Nice weather today," Rika noted.
"Yeah."
Awkward silence.
"Bye."
Miki walked away.
Somewhere on the fifth floor, three sixth generation Morning Musume members gossiped about scary Fujimoto-senpai and poor Ishikawa-senpai.
And this is how the rumour of Rika and Miki being mortal enemies started.
The End.
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OSHIT THAT WAS SO AWESOME!!! XD :rofl:
"You think wet laundry is such a bad thing?!" Miki yelled. "Well, there are worse things that could happen!"
Rika watched as Miki assumed a heroic air, hands on her hips and her stance that of an inspirational speaker.
Rika = :mon waterworks:
Miki = :cool1:
"I've got it, Miki-chan!" she cheered. "Rika will do her best!"
She cheered and gave Miki a hug. Miki, caught in the moment, hugged Rika back, and they giggled like silly girls until Miki realised what was going on. She took a step back and fixed Rika with a serious, slightly scary look.
"Um, I'm going to go now."
Rika nodded blankly.
Miki remained standing there.
"Um."
"Nice weather today," Rika noted.
"Yeah."
Awkward silence.
"Bye."
Miki walked away.
:on lol: :on lol: :on lol:
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LOL XD
Rika stopped crying for a second and looked around the room as though expecting someone to pop up. Miki followed Rika's gaze and saw nobody and nothing of interest. Rika seemed a little put off by this.
"He's not coming today," she sighed under her breath.
yeah, where the hell is he ?? XD
damn, I miss H!M
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I really love that segment with Ishikawa. Great way of lifting your fighting spirit. And where is Fumimaro-sama? Maki looks so cool playing guys. :heart: 8) Miki did her good deed for the day. ;) Even if she's now labelled as an abuser.
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-Falls over laughing again-
Rika's emoness is like, the best part for me in H!M skits xD!
Speaking of which.
I wonder which of Yossie's roles you're going to put her in? xD
I also wonder if Miki herself will fall into one of her roles xD (CoughMikipidgeoncough) xD
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:rofl: :rofl: You GOTTA continue this!! Chapter 1 was funny as hell but I never thought you're gonna make another one. You proved me wrong...again...so....go make another chapter while I exercise my stomach muscle with this chapter!
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ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Awesome!!! :otomerika:
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Ningen tte... kanashii nee?
Can't what to see what might pop up next!
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What was that all about? Hahahahaaha :lol: :lol:
Well... What do you expect from our lovely spoiled Rika :lol:
Poor Miki. if only they knew what happen XD XD
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I'm not very familiar with all the skits, but I did get the second fic. ;)
I was almost expecting Maki to show up, too. :lol:
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And where is Fumimaro-sama?
I was almost expecting Maki to show up, too. :lol:
Haha, sorry. He was staring into a mirror all day and missed his cue.
I also wonder if Miki herself will fall into one of her roles xD (CoughMikipidgeoncough) xD
Hah, but I can't stand the pigeon.
A new story coming soon!
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The Case of the Missing Makeup Case
Wednesday, May thirty-first. It was cloudy but warm in Tokyo. I was sitting at my desk working on some papers when I suddenly felt something. I look out the window at the dark city skyline, Roppongi visible from this side of the building. I had a feeling there was something coming. Something big. Something bad. I couldn't tell what, but if I were to guess, I'd have said it was the highest form of danger known to man.
I grabbed a pen and started to write. I don't know what. Random nonsense. Anything to keep my mind occupied. I was worried, but I needed to appear focused. I needed to give off those confident vibes that everybody associated with me. Otherwise, I reckoned I'd be laughed out of my job.
It got hot in the stuffy room. I took off my blazer in one smooth move, hanging it over the arm of my chair. I straightened my tie and adjusted the collar of my shirt and my cap. I felt like I looked like a million yen. I wished I felt like it, too.
My partner hadn't arrived for work yet. I wondered what could be taking her so long. I needed her to come and give me a sense of peace. Women were always good for that. But she didn't come. She was twenty minutes late and counting.
I opened the top drawer of my desk and pulled out my cellular phone. I dialled my missing partner's number. The phone rang once, twice, thrice. No answer. It rang five more times. I was directed to voice mail.
"Hey. It's me," I said in a clipped tone. "Where are you? Call me."
I hung up and waited for five minutes holding my phone. No reply. I put my phone down and picked up my mug of coffee, sitting back in my chair and looking out the window again.
Something was coming.
There was a knock at my door. I swivelled my chair around and wondered what my gal Friday was doing letting people come to my door unannounced by a phone call. I made a note to have a chat with her later. Maybe over some dinner and drinks. My treat. I was a gentleman, after all. When you criticised a lady's methods, you had to do it politely. Dashingly. Otherwise she'd cry.
"Come in," I called out, watching the door carefully.
In walked a beauty. Her hair was dark and straight, reaching just past her shoulders. She studied my clothes and then peered into my face, blinking twice in rapid succession.
"Have you seen my makeup case?" she asked me in a casual tone.
Her makeup case? Had she misplaced it? Or worse yet, had it been stolen? It must have been stolen. The majority of the building I worked in was occupied by girls. A few males came and went, but mostly boys. Schoolboys. They'd have no use for makeup.
One of the most coveted items by girls was makeup. I didn't know why. Couldn't really bring myself to try and understand why. But I knew that I had to help this little missus.
"No, m'am. I haven't seen your makeup case, but if you'd like to take a seat and describe it to me, I'd be glad to try and help you locate it."
I stood up as a gentleman should always do when offering a lady a seat, and I pointed to the chair across from mine.
The girl seemed nervous. She stared at me as if I was an alien creature. I couldn't blame her. Sometimes my presence was a bit intimidating. Unintentionally, of course, but it happened. A consequence of the job, I suppose.
I gestured again, and she slowly sat down in the chair.
"Now, what does it look like?" I asked, bracing myself over a fresh pad of paper and ready to write down whatever she said.
"Um, don't you know?" she asked me.
Saucy one. Bit of a flirt. She was pretty, so I forgave her for trying to distract me while on the job.
"All I want are the facts, ma'am," I said to her. "Got to get it all straight."
She shrugged.
"It's dark blue with big sunflowers on it. It has two compartments that zip up with a folding strap that has a metal button on the end."
I wrote down the key points. It was a start, but I'd need more information.
"About how long is it?"
"Like this," she replied, holding her hands about twenty centimetres apart.
"And when'd you last have it with you?"
She shrugged again.
"I don't know. About two hours ago. Why are you acting so weird?"
I held up a hand to stop her from asking anything more. She was probably picking up on my nervous reaction to my earlier premonition of evil coming.
"That's none of your concern," I said politely, but firmly.
She stood up slowly and backed away from me.
"No, don't go," I said, standing up perhaps a bit too abruptly. "I need you to stay here a bit longer."
She looked bothered by my presence.
"Is there something bothering you?" she asked me with a frown.
"I told you already-"
"Because you're acting really weird. Way too weird. Listen, forget I came by. I don't need your help right now," she said quickly, moving to the door and reaching her hand out.
In a swift move, I jumped from behind my desk and ran to the door, putting my hand over her hand to prevent her from opening the door.
"I need more information, m'am!" I said breathlessly.
The girl looked up at me, her face screwed up in a strange expression. Maybe she was disgusted with me. I was touching her inappropriately without her permission. That was probably the reason why.
"Yocchan," she said. "What the hell?"
What was with Yocchan? Why had she bastardised my name? I had never met her before, and there she was giving me a nickname.
I quickly removed my hand from hers.
"Don't go, miss," I pleaded. "Just give me a chance to find your makeup case. I can search all day. When my partner gets back, she can help, too. And if you've got any suspects in mind, I can put out an A.P.B. for them immediately."
She looked at me with a straight face and then took my cap off.
"I think your hat's on too tight," she mumbled. "And you smell like coffee. Did you drink coffee? You know how the caffeine makes you too nervous and hyper. You shouldn't drink so much. It makes you act screwed in the head. Like you are now."
She may have had a pretty face, but she wasn't too kind. Not gentle like a woman was supposed to be. Not ladylike and refined. She was vulgar. She spoke to me so casually when this was our first time meeting.
I grabbed my cap out of her hand and put it back on deliberately sharply.
"I'm sorry that you feel that way, m'am," I said in a professional tone showing no signs of warmth. "If you don't want my help, then by all means, feel free to leave."
She paused. Hah! I'd made her hesitate. Now she felt bad.
"Are you angry with me?" she asked in disbelief.
"Well, I'm not pleased with you," I replied.
She snorted and shook her head.
"Call me when you grow up, Yocchan."
She pulled opened the door to leave. A figure tipping into my office prevented her from moving. The gangly girl had her ear to the door as it swung open, and she lost her balance, falling to the floor at our feet.
"Ahhhh!" she screamed in a high-pitched voice.
This case was getting more and more interesting by the minute. Could this possibly be the thief of the makeup case checking up to make sure she wasn't suspected?
The young girl quickly jumped up.
"Fu-Fujimoto-senpai! Yoshizawa-senpai!" she cried in terror.
"Koharu!" the lady - Fujimoto - shouted. "What in the world are you doing listening at the door?!"
The young girl, who I estimated to be about thirteen years old, started to tremble and babble at an incredible speed. So fast that I could barely keep up.
"I'm sorry, Fujimoto-san!" she squeaked, addressing my first guest. "But I saw you walk into Yoshizawa-senpai's change room and Tanaka-senpai said that maybe you two were going to talk about me 'cause I'm new, so I came to listen, but I didn't really come for only that 'cause I really like both of you and really respect and admire both of you so much, so I just wanted to listen to what you two had to talk about 'cause-"
"Yeah, I got it!"
The young girl - Koharu - shut up when Fujimoto yelled at her. Now I was getting some names. Progress.
Koharu started to sniffle. Oh no! I pushed Fujimoto aside and patted Koharu on the shoulder.
"There there, little lady. Don't cry. She didn't mean to yell at you."
Koharu seemed pleased by my comforting, and she perked right back up. Disgusted, Fujimoto threw her hands up and walked out the door and down the hall.
"Like I said, call me when you get a life, Yoshizawa," she muttered just loud enough for me to hear.
I sighed.
Women!
I sent Koharu off with a pat and then closed my door, locking it and going to sit back in my chair. I faced the window and saw that it had started to rain at some point during the fiasco in my office. I checked my phone. No messages. My partner still hadn't called.
I sighed and took another sip of my coffee.
Being a detective was tough business. My job sometimes involved great feats of strength and intellect. However, figuring out women? A whole different, much tougher ballgame.
My name is Chief Detective Yoshizawa. I'm a cop, and that's my story.
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:rofl: :rofl: I thought she was Rika for some reason but that Yocchan part was a dead give away.
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YOSSI'S DETECTIVE CHARACTER!!! Looks like all the talk of her being tomboy-ish took it's toll on her. :lol: :pimp:
KOHARU'S EAVESDROPPING ON HER AND MIKI!!! :rofl:
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Detective Yoshizawa is my favourite of the three so far. I think it's because of the POV.
Miki must feel like she's working in a madhouse with all these "strange" people around her :lol:
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LOL
What's next? The Sachi family?
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that's a Good Idea !!
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I still wanna see Miki-pigeon (especially seeing the whole "shit-tossing" bit). :wahaha:
PO POOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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I still wanna see Miki-pigeon (especially seeing the whole "shit-tossing" bit). :wahaha:
PO POOOOOOOOOOO!!!
QFT!!! That's the winner!! I wanna see it too!! :hiakhiakhiak: I also wanna see Mako-chan with Yui playing amorous husband and wife still in honey moon mode!! :on lol:
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I also wanna see Mako-chan with Yui playing amorous husband and wife still in honey moon mode!! :on lol:
LOL XD
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^^g4rfield, that would be hilarious. :grin:
I thought Chief Detective Yoshizawa would put the moves on Miki, like she did with restaurant worker Mari. Good thing she didn't solve the case, some innocent person would end up in jail. :roll: I love the part where Yossy is comforting Koharu and Miki not approving.
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Detective Yoshizawa is my favourite of the three so far. I think it's because of the POV.
Hahaha, I tried to throw in some kind of "Dragnet"-style phrases in the narrative.
Good thing she didn't solve the case, some innocent person would end up in jail. :roll:
And then someone would inevitably die (it's an OTN story, after all), and then you'd all get mad.
Guys... the pigeon Miki thing is not going to happen. Not from me, anyway. :lol:
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Ballet for Butterflies
"I'm a butterfly!!!"
"Shige-san, I-"
"I'm a pretty butterfly!!"
"Shige-sa-"
"A pretty butterfly that twirls and twirls!!"
Spin spin WHACK!
"MICHISHIGE!! That's my face you just hit!!"
"Butterfly, fly like a prima donna. Fly fly, pretty me!"
Michishige Sayumi, dressed in a white sports suit, spun out of the foyer holding a basketball and doing a terrible impression of a ballerina. Niigaki Risa suddenly ran by screaming and blowing a whistle.
"Get back here for basketball practice, you newbie!!"
Miki nursed her cheek and glared after the young girls.
"Everybody's crazy," she muttered. "Everybody but me."
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Ahhh and a late reply from me yet again!
I like these fluffy nonsense stories from you. It's a nice change of pace from your usual incredibly intricate plot lines. Plus the numerous H!M references make me happy. Plus the slightly exaggerated characters of all the members are so much fun. I mean, they are already pretty exaggerated in real life, but pushing all those stereotypes on the members is just so hilarious!
I knew it was Yossie! As soon as you had that line about crazy dames and their makeup!
*thumbs up*
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Guys... the pigeon Miki thing is not going to happen. Not from me, anyway. :lol:
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...:cry:
Spin spin WHACK!
Best...part...ever. XD
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LOL Sayu. Can't believe I couldn't stand her back when she joined.
Hahaha, I tried to throw in some kind of "Dragnet"-style phrases in the narrative.
Who or what is Dragnet??? Sounds dangerous! ^^
Guys... the pigeon Miki thing is not going to happen. Not from me, anyway. :lol:
If not pigeon Miki then maybe that rich daughter character ... ah what was her name again?
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Spin spin WHACK!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: OH GAWD!! Narcissistic Sayumin always makes me LOL'd myself!!
"Everybody's crazy," she muttered. "Everybody but me."
She wouldn't be saying that when the madhouse finally got to her and she turn into Kazunoko! :on lol:
If not pigeon Miki then maybe that rich daughter character ... ah what was her name again?
Tsubomi you mean? Well I guess but I still maintain that she's not as much fun as pidgeon shit throwing Miki! XD
Seeing devil sayumi and angel takahashi in training would be interesting too. Watch as evil Sayumin kills everybody with her overloaded cuteness instructions! :bigdeal: She's a lost cause already. XD
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Hahahaha! Sayu's fic is gold! It cracked me up, just like that. XD
You're making me like Sayu, too. You've corrupted me! :lol:
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lol Sayu's story is short and sweet. I liked that oddball volley ball member character and Gaki-san's high energy senpai mode.
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lol ballet for butterflies had me rolling :lol: I can't wait for one of them to drive Miki insane. You know what they say, if you can't beat them, join them. XD
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It's a nice change of pace from your usual incredibly intricate plot lines.
Hmm, who knows. Maybe it'll all link together in the end. Or... it could really just be a bunch of random fun. :lol:
Who or what is Dragnet??? Sounds dangerous! ^^
Haha, it's an old radio drama. It was about a detective in Los Angeles, USA, and about him solving cases with his partner. A few years ago I heard 2 episodes of it on some late night radio show that played re-runs of really old radio dramas. I thought it would be funny to try and copy some of that style.
You're making me like Sayu, too. You've corrupted me! :lol:
Hahaha! That makes me so happy!
I can't wait for one of them to drive Miki insane.
Yeah. I can't wait to write the sentence "And then Miki snapped".
I'm glad that people are enjoying this. It's like another thread of fluff, huh? I promise that things won't get all Lx2. PROMISE!
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Nakazawa - Yaguchi + Fujimoto - marriage² + (anger³ x ∞) – location + Thinker² ÷ Thought³ + (Munch + Rodin ÷ 3.14) – love ≠ ☺
"Yaguchi-san!"
Nakazawa Yuuko was searching all over the building for the short girl, but she couldn't find her. Little Mari had gone AWOL.
"Yaguchi-san!" Nakazawa called out again.
She looked under a low table.
"Hmm, not there either," she muttered to herself as she walked by a window with a sweeping view of downtown Tokyo.
On the windowsill sat Fujimoto Miki, an ignored novel held open in her hands. She gazed out the window, seemingly deep in thought as her eyes focused on the cold mass of foggy winter air that had settled over the city.
"Excuse me," Nakazawa said, stopping in front of Miki to get her attention.
"Hm? Yeah?" Miki asked, looking up at the person that had interrupted her train of thought.
"Have you seen Yaguchi-san? She's about this tall," Nakazawa said, holding her hand at hip level in an exaggerated estimation of Yaguchi Mari's shortness, "with dyed blonde hair. She's wearing what I'm wearing."
"I know what she looks like," Miki said with a cross between a chuckle and a frown.
She then noticed what Nakazawa was wearing.
"Oh. You guys are filming something?"
Nakazawa looked at Miki blankly.
"No," she replied.
Miki raised an eyebrow, but she said nothing.
"So, I suppose you haven't seen her," Nakazawa said, starting to pace impatiently.
"That's right. I haven't," Miki said, placing a bookmark between the pages of her book and closing it, putting it beside her on the windowsill.
It seemed to her that things were about to get interesting. Nakazawa was acting polite, speaking to her as though she were a stranger. On top of that, the ex-leader of Morning Musume was wearing a blue police uniform.
Nakazawa checked her watch.
"She was supposed to be on duty half an hour ago. Where is she?!" she exploded, letting her voice rip through the air before quickly composing herself and taking a deep, calming breath.
"On duty?" Miki asked sceptically.
At the death glare Nakazawa shot her, Miki cowered and shut up. Only two people could make her cower like that, and Nakazawa was definitely one of them.
"Now all the daily commuters are going to be coming by and causing trouble while Yaguchi-san isn't here to help. Do you know how aggravating it is to have to deal with all you people?!" Nakazawa shrieked like a madwoman.
Miki nodded, terrified of what would happen if she did not answer in the affirmative.
"I won't cause any trouble," she whispered, eyeing the truncheon slung at Nakazawa's belt and praying that the woman didn't remember it was there.
"Nutty fathers chasing errant daughters, poor families' children causing a ruckus at the local school, drugged up pilgrims from Shikoku... They're all crazy!"
Nakazawa sat down beside Miki in a huff. Miki reached out and patted the irritated Nakazawa's shoulder.
"There there. It can't be all that bad."
Nakazawa shrugged Miki's hand off suddenly, piercing the younger girl with a frantic look.
"You can't imagine what I go through every day. It's a nightmare. I signed up for the police force, not the zoo! And now I'm over thirty and nobody wants to marry me!"
Miki winced. Nakazawa and conversations about marriage didn't bode well for anyone within a kilometre radius.
"Well, marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be," Miki said comfortingly.
Nakazawa grabbed the lapels of Miki's jacket and shoved her up against the window, staring her in the eye.
"How do you know? Are you married?!" she asked desperately, seeming to want inside information that only a married woman would provide.
"Well, uh, no," Miki admitted.
Nakazawa sighed and let go.
"See? Then how can you say that about marriage if you don't even know what it's like to be married?!"
Miki shrugged.
"Okay. Fine. It's probably the greatest, happiest thing in the world."
Nakazawa cornered her with a glare.
"Marriage does not equal happiness!" she screeched, jumping up and addressing the heavens. "A woman can be happy without marriage!"
Miki twitched in confusion. How quickly Nakazawa changed her mind.
"Um, weren't you looking for Yaguchi-san?" Miki reminded her.
"That's right! Yaguchi-san! Where are you?!" Nakazawa hollered angrily as she forgot all talk of marriage and stalked off down the hallway.
Miki sighed and slipped off the windowsill. So much for spending her afternoon break time daydreaming. She picked up her book and walked back to her dressing room. She walked right by Takahashi Ai, who was positioned right beside Miki's door.
"Hi," she greeted the serious girl, and she quickly slipped into her dressing room.
Ten seconds passed. She frowned. She hadn't gotten a reply from Ai, she realised. She opened her door again, and poked her head out. Ai was still there.
"Hi?" Miki tried again.
No reply.
In fact, there was no movement. Upon further inspection, Miki was surprised to note that Ai was standing with one foot on two tomato boxes stacked on top of each other. Her elbow was rested on her knee, and her chin was rested on her fist. It looked like she was thinking deeply.
"What are you doing?" Miki asked.
Ai did not respond.
"Hello?"
More silence.
Miki got mad.
"When people talk to you, don't ignore them!" she yelled.
Ai didn't even blink.
Miki bent down and stuck her face right into Ai's.
"I'm talking to you, Takahashi!" she said loudly.
This time Ai blinked, but she remained otherwise still, making it quite evident that she was putting a lot of effort into not moving.
"Hey! Are you alive?!" Miki jeered, poking Ai's cheek.
The corner of Ai's lip turned up in the beginnings of a smile, but she quickly clamped down on it and resumed her pensive expression.
"What are you?! A sculpture?!" Miki shouted into Ai's ear.
"You got it!"
The reply was almost too fast and too slurred to hear, but Ai definitely had mumbled something. Miki took a step back at this human Thinker.
"Psychotic freak crazy stupid idiotic irritating weird pain-in-the-ass co-workers," she growled, and she turned on her heels, storming into her dressing room and slamming the door.
Ten seconds passed by, and then twenty and then thirty. Ai peered down both ends of the hallway. Seeing that nobody was watching her, she let out a breath and stretched her arms.
Being famous works of arts was a difficult job! She was just glad that the crazy lady with purple hair hadn't been the one to poke and prod her this time. That lady was a real terror.
After this brief break, Ai got back into position, this time putting her hands on her cheeks and opening her mouth in a silent scream, a pose that she would hold until Miki came out of her dressing room... which might not be for a long, long time. She got comfy.
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Yaguchi has to show up soon right? Nakazawa and Yaguchi police skit was like on top three best skits ever.
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"Yaguchi-san!"
Nakazawa Yuuko was searching all over the building for the short girl, but she couldn't find her. Little Mari had gone AWOL.
Well, considering this is "little" Mari, it's not entirely surprising that this happened to Yuko. :P
"Have you seen Yaguchi-san? She's about this tall," Nakazawa said, holding her hand at hip level in an exaggerated estimation of Yaguchi Mari's shortness, "with dyed blonde hair. She's wearing what I'm wearing."
"I know what she looks like," Miki said with a cross between a chuckle and a frown.
:lol:
It seemed to her that things were about to get interesting. Nakazawa was acting polite, speaking to her as though she were a stranger. On top of that, the ex-leader of Morning Musume was wearing a blue police uniform.
Nakazawa checked her watch.
"She was supposed to be on duty half an hour ago. Where is she?!" she exploded
POLICE BOX SKIT!!! :w00t:
"Nutty fathers chasing errant daughters, poor families' children causing a ruckus at the local school, drugged up pilgrims from Shikoku... They're all crazy!"
PILGRIMS! :on lol:
"You can't imagine what I go through every day. It's a nightmare. I signed up for the police force, not the zoo! And now I'm over thirty and nobody wants to marry me!"
Yuko talking about marriage? Uh-oh. :O
Miki winced. Nakazawa and conversations about marriage didn't bode well for anyone within a kilometre radius.
Indeed, it's probably better to just avoid the topic altogether if at all possible.
"Well, marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be," Miki said comfortingly.
...
how can you say that about marriage if you don't even know what it's like to be married?!"
Miki shrugged.
"Okay. Fine. It's probably the greatest, happiest thing in the world."
Nakazawa cornered her with a glare.
"Marriage does not equal happiness!" she screeched, jumping up and addressing the heavens. "A woman can be happy without marriage!"
Yeah...whether in character or just being herself, Yuko's not exactly "all there" once she starts talking about wanting to be married (assuming she really does want it, which in itself is a bit confusing).
Miki sighed and slipped off the windowsill. So much for spending her afternoon break time daydreaming. She picked up her book and walked back to her dressing room. She walked right by Takahashi Ai, who was positioned right beside Miki's door.
"Hi," she greeted the serious girl, and she quickly slipped into her dressing room.
...
No reply.
In fact, there was no movement.
Huh? Is Aichan spacing out or something?
Upon further inspection, Miki was surprised to note that Ai was standing with one foot on two tomato boxes stacked on top of each other. Her elbow was rested on her knee, and her chin was rested on her fist. It looked like she was thinking deeply.
From the description, sounds like she's recreating the pose of "The Thinker" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thinker)
"I'm talking to you, Takahashi!" she said loudly.
This time Ai blinked, but she remained otherwise still, making it quite evident that she was putting a lot of effort into not moving.
...
"What are you?! A sculpture?!" Miki shouted into Ai's ear.
"You got it!"
OHHHHHHHHHHHH! Aichan's doing the bit where the girl's had to pretend they were famous paintings and stuff and they had to hold the poses and not move! :yep:
After this brief break, Ai got back into position, this time putting her hands on her cheeks and opening her mouth in a silent scream, a pose that she would hold until Miki came out of her dressing room... which might not be for a long, long time. She got comfy.
It's the "Home Alone" pose (aka The Scream (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scream))! :wahaha:
Aichan's pose = :mon scare:
Miki = :grr:
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damn, I miss H!M skits ~
can't wait for more ~~~~
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A1, I love the Nakazawa and Yaguchi police officer skits. Never a boring moment when Nakazawa's on duty.
Haha, yes. The "Home Alone" pose. Interesting name for it.
I've started writing the last chapter of this strange collection of haphazardly arranged stories (please note that they are not in chronological order). There are still a few more stories that I'd like to try and write before the end, though, so let's see what I can pull out of my mind.
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Narkissos
I sit at my table. All the light I have comes from one small lamp that sits on the edge of that table. I hold a ballpoint pen in my hand. This pen hovers over an unmarked sheet of lined paper, the only other object on the surface of the table.
I block out everything but one train of thought. I feel the inspiration coming, but if too much overwhelms me, I will lose my focus and not be able to write a single thing. There will be too much to express. I will want to tell it all. Like a gust of wind blowing a printed out, unbound novel. What owner of such a work would not want to rescue every single page of his novel? But were he to pursue each sheet of paper simultaneously, he would catch none of them. Therefore, it is important to have one aim. One goal. Cut away everything else. It is not important. Only that thing. The most important thing.
I put the pen to the paper.
Gently in the breeze,
A frog croaks in the rice field.
Come, gentle summer.
I then attach the name of a famous poet at the end of my creation.
...Murakami Kijo
I sit back and look at my verse.
It is perfect. Just like me.
Another tight burst of inspiration erupts in my brain, and I quickly jot down (in my unfailingly neat handwriting) what I hear in my head.
The rain falling down
Upon my uncovered head.
Signs of spring are here.
...Kawahigashi Hekigodo
From outside of my room I can hear a noise. Somebody is calling. Perhaps for me. I ignore the voice because it is not time to go to school or to catch the bus. It is still time to compose poetry.
The harvest moon shines
A bitter chill comes forward.
Autumn engulfs us.
...Kobayashi Issa
I rest my hands flat on the table and put my chin upon them, staring across the room and into the full-length mirror I have fixed to the wall so that I can see myself at whatever level I may rest.
Glass is a cold, hard material. That coldness fills my heart as I peer into the one thing in the world - a mirror - that speaks no lies to me.
"Bitter, chilling wind. Falling snowflake, frozen lake. Spirit of winter," I speak aloud, letting words pass through my divine lips for the first time that morning.
I stop and consider myself and my poetry.
Am I not wonderful? Do I not deserve to use one of the most famous men in our country's history as my nom de plume?
"Matsuo Basho," I whisper before quickly righting myself up and jotting down the poem.
I check my watch. The minute hand moves as if inspired by my gaze, and it becomes seven thirty-nine am, one minute before I am supposed to leave my home.
I stand up, don my blazer, and pick up a bouquet of flowers. I slip some change into my left pocket, and then, upon second thought, I fold the paper I have just been writing on and place it gently in my right pocket. I give my hair one final toss while looking in the mirror, and with that, I leave my room.
I walk down the hallway calmly, slip my shoes on, and am about to step out of the door when someone stops me.
"You're wearing my shoes."
I suppose it must be one of my younger brothers.
I turn around and see a girl who looks to be my age but who is dressed in everyday clothing, not a school uniform. I do not recognise her, but for some reason she strikes me as someone who would be part of that incredibly wealthy family that just moved in a few houses down the street. She looks at me with an empty expression - practically a glare - and I can't help but notice an almost invisible scar on the massive plateau of a forehead that she has. I look back at her blankly, turn around, and leave. She must be a friend of my brother's.
She protests again, but I shut the door on her. I can only think of two things. One is my face. My handsome face. The face that all the girls go wild over. Even that teacher who is always at the bus stop. She is thirty and even she wants me. I am perfect, after all.
The other thing I think about is another person. Such a sad face she always has. But it is a purifying sadness. It is a sadness that I understand. Melancholy is the emotion that inspires me most. It feels so good to be so miserable. A perversion, some might claim. But it is not. It is the way that humans are built. Emotionally, we are meant to feel the depths of despair. It makes the lighter moments so much better. So much more worth living for. Thus, this girl I can understand wholeheartedly. When she cries, I urge her on in my mind, I provide comfort. I let her know that I understand her. I sympathise. I care. In turn, she gives me her love and worship. I just hope that one day I can tell her how I feel. What I want is for her to say that she understands me. For her to comfort me for a change.
But until that day, I will continue to rescue her from her loneliness, compose for her poetry that I attribute to other artists, and provide her with the physical comfort that I can.
It takes one minute to walk to the bus stop.
But she is not there.
All that is on the pavement is a solitary, brown leaf that has blown off prematurely from a tree. I kneel down on one knee, pick up the leaf, and stand back up in one smooth movement, brushing the dirt off my knee.
I study the leaf and I contemplate life.
Mankind. We really are sad creatures, are we not?
"The harvest moon shines. A bitter chill comes forward. Autumn engulfs us," I recite, continuing to look at the leaf as I speak and wondering what great name to attach to my poem this time around. "Ayanokouji... Fumimaro."
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Fumimaro-sama :wub: *gush*
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Fumimaro-samaaaaaaa! *fangirling squeal* :lol:
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I rest my hands flat on the table and put my chin upon them, staring across the room and into the full-length mirror I have fixed to the wall so that I can see myself at whatever level I may rest.
Hahaha, Sayu still has a long way to go. Her pocket mirror can't beat this. XD
I do not recognise her, but for some reason she strikes me as someone who would be part of that incredibly wealthy family that just moved in a few houses down the street. She looks at me with an empty expression - practically a glare - and I can't help but notice an almost invisible scar on the massive plateau of a forehead that she has.
Oh boy, Miki would kill him if she knew about this. :twisted:
Also, he thinks she's Tsubomi! :lol:
"Ayanokouji... Fumimaro."
KYAAAAAAAH! MAAAAKI... FUMIMARO-SAMAAAA!!! :heart:
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I've started writing the last chapter of this strange collection of haphazardly arranged stories
Last? :mon scare:
I put the pen to the paper.
Gently in the breeze,
A frog croaks in the rice field.
Come, gentle summer.
I then attach the name of a famous poet at the end of my creation.
...Murakami Kijo
So THAT'S how Fumimaro came up with them! XD
I rest my hands flat on the table and put my chin upon them, staring across the room and into the full-length mirror I have fixed to the wall so that I can see myself at whatever level I may rest.
Well, there's a reason he attends the Narcissist high school. :pimp:
I turn around and see a girl who looks to be my age but who is dressed in everyday clothing, not a school uniform. I do not recognise her, but for some reason she strikes me as someone who would be part of that incredibly wealthy family that just moved in a few houses down the street.
Probably ran into Miki (she played the rich daughter Tsubomi-chan). :yep:
Besides, it wouldn't be half as entertaining if it was someone other than Miki. :lol:
The other thing I think about is another person. Such a sad face she always has. But it is a purifying sadness. It is a sadness that I understand. Melancholy is the emotion that inspires me most. It feels so good to be so miserable. A perversion, some might claim. But it is not. It is the way that humans are built. Emotionally, we are meant to feel the depths of despair. It makes the lighter moments so much better. So much more worth living for. Thus, this girl I can understand wholeheartedly. When she cries, I urge her on in my mind, I provide comfort.
So then...part of the reason he kept going to Rika's character was because he wanted to be the one to comfort her? Wow, yasashii ne?
I just hope that one day I can tell her how I feel. What I want is for her to say that she understands me. For her to comfort me for a change.
Speaking as a straight guy, I gotta say that's pretty damn romantic. :hee:
But until that day, I will continue to rescue her from her loneliness, compose for her poetry that I attribute to other artists, and provide her with the physical comfort that I can.
Yeah, I bet...
...
nevermind. Too easy. :twisted:
But she is not there.
All that is on the pavement is a solitary, brown leaf that has blown off prematurely from a tree. I kneel down on one knee, pick up the leaf, and stand back up in one smooth movement, brushing the dirt off my knee.
I study the leaf and I contemplate life.
Mankind. We really are sad creatures, are we not?
"The harvest moon shines. A bitter chill comes forward. Autumn engulfs us," I recite, continuing to look at the leaf as I speak and wondering what great name to attach to my poem this time around. "Ayanokouji... Fumimaro."
Whoa... :O
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Fumimaro-sama is a regular aristocrat. :wub: It has a slight period piece feeling. Since you did Fumimaro-sama, I kinda want to see all 3 of those boys together in a skit. XD
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Hahaha, Sayu still has a long way to go. Her pocket mirror can't beat this. XD
Hahaha, but it was still impressively monstrous. I think I fell over laughing when she pulled it out of her bag.
[fangirling]
Hahaha! I knew it.
Shindoushiz, hahaha, yes. Seeing all three of the Ayanokouji brothers in the same place would be lots of fun! And yeah, JFC. Sorry, but it has to end eventually.
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Shindoushiz, hahaha, yes. Seeing all three of the Ayanokouji brothers in the same place would be lots of fun!
3 of them? :?
Who were the other 2?
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One's Warumaro who is the yankii version of Fumimaro (Rika liked him too xD)
And the other is the younger brother who's cute and all the kindergarten girls <3 him xD I can't remember what name they gave him though :<
The Ayanokouji parents are freaking beautiful though *0* (Both played by Maki as well, roffle xD)
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Warumaro is the younger brother of Fumimaro. I can't remember if they were twins or not.
The brother in kindergarten is Mashuumaro. :lol:
The mother is Maki 30 years old. She and Yuuchan played the rich ladies who dine in restaurants below their class.
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Ah right, forgot about the Yankii brother. :mon sweat:
There's one in Kindergarten? Damn, haven't seen that one. :O Did Maki play him too?
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In this page http://soreni.ddo.jp/MM/haromoni/gekijodb/profile/p_goto.html (http://soreni.ddo.jp/MM/haromoni/gekijodb/profile/p_goto.html) go to No.8. You'll see the kindergarten brother.
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Cool. Thanks. :thumbsup
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Hahaha, well, with all that cleared up, let's continue.
Let's be friends!
One chilly and sunny day, Konno Asami knocked at Fujimoto Miki's dressing room.
"Yes?" Miki asked as she opened the door.
She was a bit surprised to see Asami standing there alone. While they had formed a bond out on the playing field during futsal training and games, they didn't see much of each other in their private time at the studio.
"Kon-chan," Miki said, a question in her voice.
"Come on!" Asami said excitedly. "Let's eat lunch together!"
Miki blinked. This was abnormal. The two of them - just the two of them - had never gone for lunch together. It was a strange request indeed. Therefore, Miki discounted the possibility of it being just lunch for two. Asami probably had a group of other people waiting for her. She was inviting Miki to be polite.
"I'm a bit busy now. Maybe next time," Miki said.
She was usually a very busy girl, so while it was possible she was declining just because she didn't want to hang out with that particular group, it was also completely feasible that she had a lot of work to finish during lunch time.
"B-but..." Aasami mumbled,
She did something that Miki couldn't believe. She started to sniffle.
"Er..."
"I can't find Ai-chan, and I don't wanna eat with any of the others."
She bent her head down in submission.
"But it's okay. I know that people like you are busy. I'll go and eat lunch alone."
Asami turned around and walked off quietly. Miki watched her, and somewhere deep inside of her, she knew what she had to do. Perhaps it was some deep and hidden maternal instinct, or perhaps it was just plain pity because something similar had happened to her once in elementary school, but she called out to Asami.
"Wait," she said. "I'll go with you. Let me grab my things."
Asami turned around, a huge smile on her face. Miki swore that the girl was not capable of showing a depressed face for more than thirty seconds. She ran to her dresser, grabbed her bag and jacket, and ran back out.
"Where do you want to go? We've only got, like, half an hour," Miki said after checking her watch.
Asami held out a cloth-wrapped box.
"I brought my lunch. You didn't?" she asked in awe.
Miki shook her head.
"I didn't have time to make my lunch this morning. I'm buying something."
The truth was that she had intended to skip lunch in favour of a nap, but Asami didn't need to know that.
Asami's eyes turned starry, and she stared up at Miki in a way that made the older girl uncomfortable.
"I'm so jealous!"
Miki smiled warily and tried to usher Asami into the elevator, the doors having just opened.
"No! After you," Asami said politely, stepping back and gesturing for Miki to go first.
Miki shrugged and walked through the doors. Senior idol worship. She wasn't going to pretend she didn't like it. She loved it. But it was weird when it came from someone who should by that point be immune to her charms.
They rode the elevator down in silence, but from time to time, Miki caught Asami staring at her. It puzzled her. Asami had never been one of the ones to be infatuated with taciturn Miki, so for her to start suddenly was an oddity.
"Hey, Kon-chan," said, breaking the silence.
"Yes?" Asami asked, looking too eager to please.
"What do you think about this bracelet?"
She pulled a small bag out of her purse and opened it, showing Asami a piece of jewellery.
"It's my friend's birthday next week," Miki said, feeling stupid for talking about it, "and I saw this and thought of her, but I'm not sure if I can give it to her. It looks kind of c-"
"Woooow!" Asami cried out, hovering over the object in Miki's hand. "It looks so expensive!"
Miki blinked.
"I was just going to say that I thought it looked a bit cheap."
Asami shook her head emphatically.
"No way! It looks like something only you could buy!"
Miki frowned outright.
"What do you mean by that?" she queried, wondering if Asami had mistaken her for someone else.
"Well, you've got all that money lying around," Asami gushed. "Only you could go out and buy such a pretty bracelet for your friend!"
Miki hit Asami lightly on the head.
"Whar are you talking about? I don't have that much money," she admonished the girl with a chuckle.
"Oh, you're too modest," Asami sighed. "It's just not like you. Don't change because I'm not rich like you."
"Asami-chan?" Miki asked.
She wondered if maybe she'd been the one to mistake the identity of her companion. She spoke using an adult's vocabulary, but she sounded like a very young child.
Asami didn't listen to her.
"After school today, let's play before your mother comes to pick you up, okay? I promise not to throw sand at you again. It was an accident. I didn't mean to get your shoes dirty. I think if I carry the toys to you, you can sit in your throne and..."
Asami started to ramble on and on and Miki backed away, planting her back against the wall and trying to steady herself with deep breaths.
"Asami-chan. Play? School? My mother? Hello?" Miki asked, checking what floor they were at.
One more floor before they reached ground level.
Asami looked at Miki, frightened.
"I'm sorry, Tsubomi-chan!" she cried, starting to bow. "I didn't wanna remind you of that!"
"N... no!" Miki barked. "No. I'm not that person. This is me. Fujimoto. Not some rich bitch in fucking nursery school!"
It was the wrong thing to say. Asami burst out crying at Miki's language. Miki stared at her as if the wailing girl had grown three horns. The doors of the elevator chose to open at that moment.
Iida Kaori, Yaguchi Mari, Michishige Sayumi, Kamei Eri, and Niigaki Risa all lay their eyes upon the highly suspicious scene - Asami bawling her eyes out and Miki staring at her disgustedly.
"Wahh!" Asami cried.
Not bothering to look up, she burst out of the doors and ran away. Miki huffed but did not give chase. It was not her style. She walked nonchalantly out of the elevator as the five waiting girls eyed her guardedly. She caught Mari's gaze, and instead of explaining herself, she shrugged and made an annoyed face. The five girls got the hint and got into the elevator without saying a word to the former soloist.
The doors to the elevator closed, and Miki let out an exasperated "arg!"
And this is how Fujimoto Miki's reputation as The Scary Member was further consolidated.
-
Let me be the first one to say this to you. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. :lol: :lol: :lol:
That was great. It only show how "normal" Miki is around her "weird" co worker (*cough *Eri* Cough*) . :lol: :lol: :lol:
-
"Kon-chan," Miki said, a question in her voice.
"Come on!" Asami said excitedly. "Let's eat lunch together!"
Miki blinked. This was abnormal. The two of them - just the two of them - had never gone for lunch together. It was a strange request indeed.
Strange-smange. It's Konkon and FOOD! :w00t:
Miki discounted the possibility of it being just lunch for two. Asami probably had a group of other people waiting for her. She was inviting Miki to be polite.
"I'm a bit busy now. Maybe next time," Miki said.
She was usually a very busy girl, so while it was possible she was declining just because she didn't want to hang out with that particular group, it was also completely feasible that she had a lot of work to finish during lunch time.
Aw...:(
"B-but..." Aasami mumbled,
She did something that Miki couldn't believe. She started to sniffle.
"Er..."
"I can't find Ai-chan, and I don't wanna eat with any of the others."
She bent her head down in submission.
"But it's okay. I know that people like you are busy. I'll go and eat lunch alone."
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...Konkon... :mon cry:
"Wait," she said. "I'll go with you. Let me grab my things."
YAY! :D
Asami turned around, a huge smile on her face. Miki swore that the girl was not capable of showing a depressed face for more than thirty seconds.
:lol:
"I brought my lunch. You didn't?" she asked in awe.
Miki shook her head.
"I didn't have time to make my lunch this morning. I'm buying something."
The truth was that she had intended to skip lunch in favour of a nap, but Asami didn't need to know that.
Well, naps are good. Miki could dream about groping the girls while she snoozed. ;D Still though, skipping lunch would leave her extra hungry (and probably make her cranky) for the remainder of the day.
Asami's eyes turned starry, and she stared up at Miki in a way that made the older girl uncomfortable.
"I'm so jealous!"
Eh? :dunno:
Jealous of what? The fact that Miki was going to buy her lunch?
Senior idol worship. She wasn't going to pretend she didn't like it. She loved it. But it was weird when it came from someone who should by that point be immune to her charms.
Oh well, Miki-sama is just gonna have to roll with it. :pimp:
"Hey, Kon-chan," said, breaking the silence.
"Yes?" Asami asked, looking too eager to please.
"What do you think about this bracelet?"
She pulled a small bag out of her purse and opened it, showing Asami a piece of jewellery.
"It's my friend's birthday next week," Miki said, feeling stupid for talking about it, "and I saw this and thought of her, but I'm not sure if I can give it to her. It's looks kind of c-"
She bought for Aya's birthday? :mon cute:
"Woooow!" Asami cried out, hovering over the object in Miki's hand. "It looks so expensive!"
Miki blinked.
"I was just going to say that I thought it looked a bit cheap."
Asami shook her head emphatically.
"No way! It looks like something only you could buy!"
Miki frowned outright.
"What do you mean by that?" she queried, wondering if Asami had mistaken her for someone else.
"Well, you've got all that money lying around," Asami gushed. "Only you could go out and buy such a pretty bracelet for your friend!"
HAH??? :stunned:
"Oh, you're too modest," Asami sighed. "It's just not like you. Don't change because I'm not rich like you."
"Asami-chan?" Miki asked.
...
"After school today, let's play before your mother comes to pick you up, okay? I promise not to throw sand at you again. It was an accident. I didn't mean to get your shoes dirty. I think if I carry the toys to you, you can sit in your throne and..."
Asami started to ramble on and on and Miki backed away, planting her back against the wall and trying to steady herself with deep breaths.
OH!!!
It's Konkon's little "schoolgirl-that-wants-to-be-friends-with-Miki's-Tsubomi/rich girl-character"!!! XD
BTW...
Konkon = :wriggly:
Miki = :dizzy:
"N... no!" Miki barked. "No. I'm not that person. This is me. Fujimoto. Not some rich bitch in fucking nursery school!"
It was the wrong thing to say. Asami burst out crying at Miki's language. Miki stared at her as if the wailing girl had grown three horns.
Konkon = :mon waterworks:
Miki = :mon suspect:
The doors of the elevator chose to open at that moment.
Iida Kaori, Yaguchi Mari, Michishige Sayumi, Kamei Eri, and Niigaki Risa all lay their eyes upon the highly suspicious scene - Asami bawling her eyes out and Miki staring at her disgustedly.
Somehow, it ALWAYS has to happen to Miki-sama, doesn't it? :P
-
LOL thank you for more of your awesomeness~ :wub:
Let me be the first one to say this to you. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. :lol: :lol: :lol:
That was great. It only show how "normal" Miki is around her "weird" co worker (*cough *Eri* Cough*) . :lol: :lol: :lol:
You just gave me the strangest thought XD It would be so much fun if there was a chapter on Eric hitting on Miki XD
-
:wahaha: Love Miki's outburst at her little playmate and her disgusted face making an appearance. After all her suffering, why would she care about who sees her supposedly treating another badly?
-
She bought for Aya's birthday? :mon cute:
Haha, not unless one wears a jacket in June in Japan.
You just gave me the strangest thought XD It would be so much fun if there was a chapter on Eric hitting on Miki XD
That is strange. Why don't you tackle that one? :lol:
-
I think there's one more left after this. Then it's a big break for me.
Why Concert Rehearsals are More Fun Than Concerts
"Move back! Move back!" the dance instructor yelled.
Niigaki Risa and Yoshizawa Hitomi struggled to back up, but the dance step they were doing was bringing them forward where they were blocked off by Fujimoto Miki and Kusumi Koharu respectively.
"No! Stop it! Stop the music!"
The music was cut almost instantly, and the entire group stopped moving. They assumed various states of repose and caught their breath as the main perpetrators of the reprehensible crime known as "making a mistake" stood straight as poles and still as stones.
"Niigaki!" the teacher barked.
"Yes!" Risa replied, ready for a scolding.
"Can you tell Fujimoto-san to stop horning in on your space?"
The entire group turned silent. Was Miki the one that had done something wrong? Risa said nothing, and looked back at the teacher, baffled. Miki, in turn, stood up and looked upon the scene with a frown.
"Tell Fujimoto-san to get the hell out of your way."
He was completely serious. He wanted Risa to speak such words to a girl that would hold it against her for the rest of her life.
"I..." Risa tried, but she couldn't say anything either to counter the teacher's instructions or to chastise Miki.
"Tell her!!"
Miki turned to face Risa, crossing her arms and giving Risa a "just you dare and try" look. Risa swallowed hard.
"W-why?" Risa asked the teacher.
"You have to learn to stand up for yourself. You may have made mistakes, but Fujimoto-san should have been more observant of your situation and adjusted appropriately. You need to be more aggressive. Stand your ground. Let people know that their inconsiderateness is affecting you. So now I want to do an exercise in honesty. Tell her what I told you to say."
Miki glared at the teacher, then at Risa, and then at Kamei Eri, who had apparently lost interest in the goings on and was wandering away from the group.
Risa turned her attention to Miki again and looked at her timidly.
"Fujimoto-san," she started, her voice a raspy whisper.
"Yeah? What?"
As humiliating as it all was, nothing could keep Miki from being angry.
"I would, um, you know, appreciate it if you could, um, well, if you could possibly-"
"Say it like I said it!"
"Eep! Get the hell out of my way!" Risa squeaked rapidly in fear.
Miki opened up her mouth to reply when there was a deafening noise in the hall. Screeching feedback was heard by all from the speakers.
"What-" Miki started to ask, squeezing her eyes shut and gritting her teeth in pain.
Then the singing began.
No, it wasn't singing. It was yodelling.
Miki opened her eyes and saw that all the girls had left and walked towards the opposite end of the stage. They were gathered around one of the microphones as horrifically sung enka blasted from the speakers.
Miki walked over cautiously, wondering what had caught her co-workers' attention. She saw soon enough. In front of the microphone was Eri. She was belting out a Hikawa Kiyoshi song so dramatically that Miki cracked up upon seeing it. Niigaki turned around and glared at the laughing girl and then turned back to watch Eri keenly. In fact, the entire group looked spellbound by Eri's performance.
"Ha ha, very funny, Kamei," Miki snickered out loud, waiting to hear the other girls chime in with laughter.
Everyone - even Yoshizawa - turned around and glared at Miki before ignoring her and watching Eri.
"He's soooo cool!" the youngest girls gushed.
"I wish he would marry me!" the older girls chanted.
"What are you talking about?!" Miki yelled, suddenly realising what was going on. "That's Eri. She's one of our-"
"Be quiet! You're just jealous because he'd never look twice at your prehistoric face," Koharu snapped.
"You little runt!" a furious Miki bellowed, launching herself at the insidious youngster.
Just then, Abe Natsumi came bounding onto the stage from the wings.
"We've got trouble!! We've got trouble, you idiot!!! Trouble!"
She was wearing an old fishmonger's outfit and waving two plastic fish in the air.
Miki stopped in her tracks and sat down on the ground, defeated.
"What's the problem?!" Takahashi Ai cried, jumping away from the crowd of Eri admirers.
"Oh, officer! You stupid moron! Such big trouble!"
Ai grabbed Natsumi by the shoulders and tried to calm her down.
"Tell me what the matter is."
"You hag! My husband is choking on New Year's mochi! He's in big trouble, freak!"
Miki looked up.
"But it's not even November yet! Why's he eating New Year's mochi?!" she yelled.
Nobody paid her any mind.
"That's terrible," Ai said sympathetically and with some alarm. "Quick. Somebody get the doctor and have her meet us at the fish shop."
Tanaka Reina was the one who responded to Ai.
"Yeah, sure. Whatever," she said rudely, but she ran off supposedly to call upon the doctor as Ai and Natsumi ran off supposedly to go and rescue Natsumi's choking husband.
When Miki stood back up and turned around, she noticed that everyone was back in their positions. Eri was no longer singing enka tunes, and some of the girls were looking at Miki strangely.
"Taking a break?" Yossi asked.
"B-but..." Miki complained. "Where'd Tanaka and Ai-chan go? And Abe-san...?"
"Abe-san? She's not here today as far as I know," the leader frowned.
"The others probably just went to the washroom," Risa suggested.
"I..."
Miki decided that silence was her best option.
"Now let's get back to rehearsal, girls!" the teacher yelled as though there'd been no interruption.
Miki shook her head and got back into position, casting Eri a wary glance that the girl did not pick up on.
Something just wasn't right with the world. Week after week, strange events plagued her. The past few years had almost driven her crazy, and she was hanging on by a thin thread. One more crazy character and she just might snap.
She took deep breaths in and tried to erase the memories of her co-workers' insane actions from her mind. She settled herself under the blanket of the famous cool that was her trademark and continued on.
-
Something just wasn't right with the world. Week after week, strange events plagued her. The past few years had almost driven her crazy, and she was hanging on by a thin thread. One more crazy character and she just might snap.
Oh, that's what happened then. :lol:
-
Hi, de-lurking cuz I've just gotta say this series has had me in stitches everytime I read it XD
"Be quiet! You're just jealous because he'd never look twice at your prehistoric face," Koharu snapped.
:on lol: I just love this :twisted:
(And I like the following line too... "You little runt!" lol! I have a weird sense of humor)
-
She bought for Aya's birthday? :mon cute:
Haha, not unless one wears a jacket in June in Japan.
Jacket? You had established that the gift was a bracelet. :?
/me goes to re-quote passage:
"What do you think about this bracelet?"
She pulled a small bag out of her purse and opened it, showing Asami a piece of jewellery.
"It's my friend's birthday next week," Miki said,
It was never specified what time of year it was when this happened, nor who the friend was that Miki was speaking about. It just made sense to think that it's Aya since there's a whole thing about the two of them and birthday presents. :P
"Niigaki!" the teacher barked.
"Yes!" Risa replied, ready for a scolding.
"Can you tell Fujimoto-san to stop horning in on your space?"
The entire group turned silent. Was Miki the one that had done something wrong? Risa said nothing, and looked back at the teacher, baffled. Miki, in turn, stood up and looked upon the scene with a frown.
"Tell Fujimoto-san to get the hell out of your way."
This guy must be new. That's the only logical explanation for why he'd try to get Risa to do something absolutely SUICIDAL like that!
:OMG:
"You have to learn to stand up for yourself. You may have made mistakes, but Fujimoto-san should have been more observant of your situation and adjusted appropriately. You need to be more aggressive. Stand your ground. Let people know that their inconsiderateness is affecting you. So now I want to do an exercise in honesty. Tell her what I told you to say."
The first part of this is something most people would probably agree with, and in all likelihood, if it were ANYONE else, doing as the dance teacher is suggesting wouldn't be that big of a deal.
But yeah, this is Miki-sama we're talking about here. You don't tell Miki-sama to move out of your way. Hell, even politely ASKING her to do it would be risky (unless maybe you're Aya or Yossi or you agree to let her grope you non-stop whenever she wants in exchange :lol:).
Miki glared at the teacher, then at Risa, and then at Kamei Eri, who had apparently lost interest in the goings on and was wandering away from the group.
ERI! :on lol:
Eep! Get the hell out of my way!" Risa squeaked rapidly in fear.
Miki opened up her mouth to reply when there was a deafening noise in the hall. Screeching feedback was heard by all from the speakers.
"What-" Miki started to ask, squeezing her eyes shut and gritting her teeth in pain.
Then the singing began.
...
Miki walked over cautiously, wondering what had caught her co-workers' attention. She saw soon enough. In front of the microphone was Eri. She was belting out a Hikawa Kiyoshi song so dramatically that Miki cracked up upon seeing it.
ERI'S KIYOSHI-SAMA! XD /me half expects Konkon to run in wearing her happi jacket going "MY RABU!"
:rofl:
the entire group looked spellbound by Eri's performance.
"Ha ha, very funny, Kamei," Miki snickered out loud, waiting to hear the other girls chime in with laughter.
Everyone - even Yoshizawa - turned around and glared at Miki before ignoring her and watching Eri.
"He's soooo cool!" the youngest girls gushed.
"I wish he would marry me!" the older girls chanted.
OMGASS THEY'RE ALL FANGIRLING!!! :on lol:
"What are you talking about?!" Miki yelled, suddenly realising what was going on. "That's Eri. She's one of our-"
"Be quiet! You're just jealous because he'd never look twice at your prehistoric face," Koharu snapped.
WTF KOHARU YOU GOT A DEATH WISH??? :mon scare:
Just then, Abe Natsumi came bounding onto the stage from the wings.
"We've got trouble!! We've got trouble, you idiot!!! Trouble!"
She was wearing an old fishmonger's outfit and waving two plastic fish in the air.
...
My husband is choking on New Year's mochi! He's in big trouble, freak!"
NACCHI THE FISHMONGER'S WIFE!!! :mon lmao:
She sure has a potty mouth, doesn't she? :roll:
When Miki stood back up and turned around, she noticed that everyone was back in their positions. Eri was no longer singing enka tunes, and some of the girls were looking at Miki strangely.
"Taking a break?" Yossi asked.
"B-but..." Miki complained. "Where'd Tanaka and Ai-chan go? And Abe-san...?"
"Abe-san? She's not here today as far as I know," the leader frowned.
"The others probably just went to the washroom," Risa suggested.
"I..."
Miki decided that silence was her best option.
"Now let's get back to rehearsal, girls!" the teacher yelled as though there'd been no interruption.
So then, all this time, it's just been Miki daydreaming? Spacing out? Too much on her plate is giving her stress? :dunno:
Something just wasn't right with the world. Week after week, strange events plagued her. The past few years had almost driven her crazy, and she was hanging on by a thin thread. One more crazy character and she just might snap.
This gives the title of this fic a WHOLE new meaning. :hehehe:
-
Ah, JFC. You've got balls to contend with me! Hahaha, I'm joking. You are right that the month/season is not stated explicitely, but when I mentioned a jacket, I was referring to this part:
Miki swore that the girl was not capable of showing a depressed face for more than thirty seconds. She ran to her dresser, grabbed her bag and jacket, and ran back out.
from which you can infer that the weather outside is chilly, and thus definitely not June.
But it doesn't really matter. :lol:
Thanks, meowz. My middle name is "the delurkerifier". I had to think hard for 10 minutes to finally remember the word prehistoric. Hahaha. It was one of those moments where my brain shutdown and I couldn't have told you how to spell "cat". I'm glad you aprpeciated it.
Amarghetta, JFC... well, the title of this thread was really just for the first story because it's a story of what really happened to Mako-chan. This whole seemingly random but connected series of stories was never a plan until after the second or third story. But the title could fit Miki's situation... when it's finally explained... hmmm...
-
Ah, JFC. You've got balls to contend with me! Hahaha, I'm joking. You are right that the month/season is not stated explicitely, but when I mentioned a jacket, I was referring to this part:
Miki swore that the girl was not capable of showing a depressed face for more than thirty seconds. She ran to her dresser, grabbed her bag and jacket, and ran back out.
from which you can infer that the weather outside is chilly, and thus definitely not June.
But it doesn't really matter. :lol:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...I see. :yep:
-
Hey! I haven't commented on this because I've been busy but this series is great! I especially liked Rika's one, 'couse I could picture it in my head perfectly from having seen the same scene so many times xD (I have seen a batch of those not long ago). Takahashi's artwork impersonation is awesome too XD
-
All the World's a Stage so Take a Bow
"Aya-chan, I swear the world's gone crazy. We work with freaks."
"What do you mean by that?" laughed Matsuura Aya.
She secretly came to the conclusion that Miki was having one of her yearly breakdowns from stress. Sometimes the girl took herself and her work a little too seriously, and this ended in massive disillusionment and disappointment, which were explosively expressed.
"Haven't you noticed everyone acting a little, um, strangely?" Miki asked tentatively.
Aya turned and looked at Miki to evaluate the meaning behind her words. They were sitting on a couch in Aya's apartment, watching television and chatting. The usual laid back thing to do on a low-key day off.
"Weird like how?"
Miki shrugged.
"None of the girls have been acting like themselves for a long time. They all seem to be switching into these weird characters," Miki said, still reluctant to give out more information and explain the entire story to her friend.
At least not yet.
"Well, you know how tough and confusing growing up under this kind of pressure can be," Aya said with a pointed look. "The girls are just getting a bit wild while looking for an outlet. We both went through it."
Miki agreed, smiling and remembering their sillier days of horsing around. Showbiz was difficult for young, adolescent girls.
But she was talking about something of a whole different calibre. This wasn't simply about youngsters getting wild. Besides, people older than her - people who had already been completely engulfed by the industry - were acting up.
"I know. But I mean they've gone crazy. I think there's a widespread epidemic of, uh, I don't know. Dementia, or something. I mean, it's almost as if they all have multiple personality syndrome. No, that would actually be okay. Their problem is that they have multiple weird personality syndrome."
Aya remained quiet and listened to Miki heat up.
"And furthermore, they all target me. They gravitate towards me. What did I ever do to them? Did I ever rub stacks of ten-thousand yen bills in their noses or throw turds at them? No! So why do I get screamed at? Why am I the one that has to pick up other people's messes and comfort the clinically depressed? Why do I have to endure being caught in a fishing net or being lectured about marriage? Why me!?"
Aya put a calming expression on her face and she stroked Miki's hair in a motherly way.
"It's okay, Miki-chan," she said comfortingly. "We'll figure it out. Why don't I go and make you some nice, hot tea and a snack?"
Miki pouted and nodded. Aya got off the couch and went to the kitchen as Miki tried to compose herself. She turned her attention to the TV. There was a mid-afternoon talk show on. She sat back and tried to relax. She heard Aya tinkering about in the kitchen. She took deep breaths and reassured herself that no matter what happened, she still had a handful of sane friends in whose homes she could seek refuge.
Suddenly, the picture on the TV screen was engulfed in static that lasted for about one second. When the image re-emerged, it was different from what it had been before. Now, a blue logo that simply said "News Bulletin" appeared on the screen. Music indicating some sort of grand crisis occurring started to play, and the logo began to spin. There was a cut to a news reporter as the music kept playing, its volume lowered significantly.
"We interrupt this program to bring you this breaking news."
Miki's jaw dropped. She knew exactly who this "news reporter" was.
She's not even a news reporter! she thought angrily.
What was she doing on the air? Was this some kind of prank?
"I'm Charmy Ishikawa, and I'm happy!" cheered the girl, flashing her trademark smile before quickly becoming solemn. "But this is a serious situation."
"No. No! Get off the screen," Miki muttered, grabbing the remote control and changing the channel.
The next channel showed the same scene. And the next. And the next. Miki threw the remote down and grabbed her head.
"This can't be true. This can't be happening."
But it was. She watched, hypnotised by Rika.
"...and that is all we know so far. We now go straight to the scene of the action with special field reporter Elizabeth Kamei. Elizabeth, are you there?"
Miki twitched.
Rika's image became a small box in the corner as a new image filled the screen. The new image was that of an ordinary street corner. The focus was on one establishment named "Ataare's Bar". There was nobody on the screen. Miki sighed partially in relief. Perhaps it had just been a mistake A few wires had got crossed and something Rika was filming accidentally aired live.
"Good afternoon!" cried a cheerful voice.
A figure burst onto the scene. She was wearing a frilly white and pink dress and holding a microphone in her hand. Miki groaned in pain. Eri stared into the camera with a big, cheesy grin on her face.
"I'm Elizabeth Kamei, field reporter!" she said by way of introduction, doing a spastic action with her arm and smiling some more into the camera before turning serious. "I'm live at the scene of Ataare's Bar, where there's been a big happening!"
She burst into cheers before quieting down again.
"There seems to be a hostage situation inside this snack bar," she said, gesturing to the bar. "We don't know many details yet, but we do know that this establishment belongs to a woman who is believed to be an immigrant. Her name is Ataare Iida. She also runs a psychic friends network that specialises in assisting people who have some sort of problem. Oh! Look! Here she is now! Miss Ataare! Can we ask you a few questions?"
Miki watched in fascinated horror as Iida Kaori appeared on the screen wearing a black top and a long red skirt. In her hand was a single long-stemmed red rose.
"I'm Ataare Iida. How can I help you?" she asked, smiling into the camera with wide eyes.
Miki shuddered as Kaori received a three-second CGI title at the bottom of the screen.
"Miss, do you have any idea what's going on in your bar?" Eri asked, putting her microphone up to Kaori's mouth.
Kaori's face turned worried.
"There's something going on in my bar? I just arrived to open up now."
Eri shoved Kaori out of the screen and spoke excitedly to the camera.
"Miss Ataare says she has no idea what's going on. Is this really the reply of a so-called psychic? Could we possibly have stumbled upon a scandal? A psychic racket?!"
Kaori, who had appeared back on camera, pushed Eri out of the way.
"It's because I haven't done my routine yet," she explained, blinking rapidly several times and smiling calmly.
"Oh no," Miki groaned, knowing what was coming.
"What's wrong?" Aya asked, walking up to the couch.
Miki pointed at the screen passionately and beseeched Aya, "Look! Look!"
Aya was about to turn her head and look at the TV when the kettle started whistling.
"Oh, hang on. The water's boiling."
She rushed back to the kitchen. Miki groaned again but quickly shut up and kept watching.
The camera had panned out to catch both girls on the screen. Kaori was standing in the centre of the shot. She took a step back and assumed a simple position holding her rose above her head. Suddenly, she clapped her hands.
"Olé!" she cried out.
A colourfully dressed hippie wielding a guitar jumped out of nowhere and started a flamenco riff on his guitar. Kaori began to twist and contort her body into various poses that were meant to be taken as some sort of Spanish dancing. Even Miki knew enough to say that Kaori was a fraud and had never taken a lesson in her life.
Miki then took a closer look at the guitarist, receiving a shock. Behind the tinted glasses was a familiar face.
"Kago-chan?!" Miki burst out.
But of course Aibon couldn't hear her.
When did Kago-chan learn to play the guitar so well? Miki wondered.
When Kaori tripped and fell to the floor, the music stopped. However, Aibon kept going. No sound emerged from her guitar, and it became evident that she'd been playing the air and not the strings.
"You phoney," Miki muttered as Aibon let the guitar slip from her hands, the instrument quickly being caught by the strap that held it on her shoulder.
"Oh. Well," Aibon stated when the situation became apparent.
She walked off calmly and all the attention was focused back on Kaori.
"Are you okay?!" Eri asked in a panic.
Kaori, who was gripping her ankle in pain, raised a hand, followed by her head. She looked directly at the camera.
"I've figured it out!" she declared passionately.
Excited, Eri jumped up and down.
"Oh oh oh! Tell us! What's going on in your bar?"
Kaori took her time standing up. When she was on her two feet again, she looked at Eri enthusiastically.
"I've figured it out!" she repeated.
"Well?" Eri asked expectantly.
"It's-" Kaori took a step towards the camera as if to impart a secret that only the viewers were privy to hear.
Her expression seemed to cave in on itself. The smile dropped from her face, replaced by a vacant look that leaned towards the sad side. She sauntered off.
"B-but what is it? What's happening?" questioned Eri, but in vain.
She received no response as Kaori slunk off, leaving behind a surprised and confused reporter.
Miki realised that she had been sitting on the edge of her seat, waiting for the reply. She shook her head.
I'm not going to let them fool me. They're behaving like idiots!
"Well, um, that's that," Eri said into the camera, fixing her bangs.
"Field reporter Elizabeth Kamei," Rika called out for the first time since Eri had started speaking. "Can you get inside the building?"
Eri looked horrified.
"What if it's dangerous?" she asked.
"Don't be scared," Rika encouraged her. "Be positive! You won't get hurt!"
"Okay!" Eri cheered.
It was obvious to Miki how blindly Eri had just jumped into the task. She watched as the camera followed Eri into the bar. It was dark within.
"Well, there seems to be nothing notable here. The bar is dark," Eri reported in a shaky whisper, voicing what was quite obvious.
She walked further in.
"Wait!" she hissed into her microphone. "I can hear something coming from behind that door. It seems to be a storage room."
"What the hell is this crap?" Miki asked angrily. "Aya-chan, come in here quickly. You'll see what I mean about our co-workers!"
Aya didn't reply, and Miki rolled her eyes. What was Aya doing? Holding a tea ceremony?
She continued to watch the screen, hoping that the police - the real police - would show up and arrest "Elizabeth".
"I'm at the door of the storage room," Eri whispered loudly into her mic, addressing the camera. "I can hear a voice. I'm going to open the door."
And so she did. The storage room was narrow and filled with bags of rice, cans of food, and beer. Bottles upon bottles of beer. A solitary light bulb hung on the ceiling, swinging gently from side to side, its dim light casting spooky shadows on the wall. On the floor was the most interesting thing: Okada Yui dressed in rags and holding a tiny stick in front of her. She shivered as though cold.
"Please... buy a match," she pleaded softly, looking at Eri.
Eri jumped back, frightened to find a girl sitting on the floor of a storage closet.
"Huh?!"
"P-please," Yui said again in a tired voice. "Buy a match, will you?"
Eri took a worried step back and shook her head.
"N-no thank you," she mumbled.
"So cold. So... very c-cold," Yui whimpered.
She pulled her ragged shawl a little more tightly around her shoulders and sneezed twice.
"So hungry.... Buy a match..."
Eri backed away bit by bit until she was clear of the door. She closed it quickly.
"Moving along!" she said in a nervously cheerful tone.
She steered the camera's focus away from the closet and faced the kitchen.
"I can see light coming from there," she whispered, pointing to the kitchen door. "Let's investigate!"
She crept up and yanked the door open, no concern for dangerous hostage-takers.
What was inside the kitchen proved to be far more terrifying than any terrorist or kidnapper. At least to Miki. In the small kitchen were girls. Familiar girls all decked out in various costumes ranging from ridiculous to elaborate to ordinary. The group of girls was gathered together in the middle of the room. Miki wondered if the real owners of the bar were aware that a gaggle of psychotic teenagers had taken over their property.
On the screen, Eri approached the girl closest to her.
"Excuse me, sir," she said to a yanki-type wearing a dishevelled, baggy school uniform.
"What the hell do you want?" the boy asked, glaring into the camera.
"Maki-chan," Miki groaned. "Aya! Get out here quick!"
"What's your name?" Eri asked timidly, shrinking back from the scary Maki.
"Me?" Maki asked, looking into the camera again. "Ayanokouji Warumaro."
She ripped her jacket open to reveal her supposed given name written on her non-school-issue t-shirt.
"And what are you doing here?" Eri asked, now terrified out of her wits.
"I'm here to stop The Boss from fucking with us!" Maki yelled, moving right up to the camera lens. "We got dis one bitch tryin' to control our lives. We're bringin' her down!"
There came a loud whoop from the crowd, and another yanki-type peeled off from the group.
Curly brown hair, sunglasses, school uniform fixed to reveal an improper amount of leg, and far too much makeup.
"A-and who are you?" the quivering field reporter asked.
"Don't fuck with me!" Asami Konno yelled, chewing her gum noisily.
She turned her head to look into another camera that was miraculously there and tuned into the broadcast signal.
"Don't fuck with me!" she repeated, and then she looked back at the original camera to yell, "Go to hell!"
Maki came over and draped an arm over Asami's shoulder.
"This is my girlfriend," she said.
"Ah, I see," Eri intoned politely.
"What?!" bellowed Miki.
She jumped to her feet.
"You do not have a girlfriend, Maki. You don't!" she yelled at the TV. "And why have you corrupted Kon-chan?"
"Yeah. What's it to you?" Asami asked Eri, of course unable to hear Miki's explosively angry statements.
Asami gave Eri an intimidating look, making Eri shy away, caving in over her microphone.
"Nothing," she mumbled.
Satisfied to have scared Eri, Asami stepped back and looked up at Maki.
"Reporters!" she laughed.
"Yeah, tell me about it," Maki replied with a gruff chuckle.
The two walked out of the view of the camera. Eri was visibly relieved. The colour returned to her face.
"Well, that was interesting," she said to the camera. "Now lets see who else is here and just exactly who this Boss is that they're trying to topple."
Eri reached out, grabbed two people, and pulled them in front of the camera.
Takahashi Ai, wearing a yellow hat and a blue smock, immediately started to cry.
"Mommyyyy!"
Eri laughed nervously and pushed Ai away, focusing her attention on the other person.
"Poor thing," the subject in question muttered, her face obscured by a supermarket flyer. "But can you believe this sale? Three yen off of all heads of cabbage tomorrow morning only. Amazing, isn't it?"
Eri didn't reply, and after a moment of silence, the flyer was lowered.
"Isn't it?" Abe Natsumi repeated.
"Um, yes. Yes, it is," Eri agreed robotically.
Natsumi smiled, adjusting her glasses and smoothing out her apron.
"And starting this afternoon at three, tofu will be sold at a five yen discount if you purchase two or more packs!"
"That's wonderful!" Eri cheered, getting back into character. "Now tell me: what are you doing here?"
"Here?" Natsumi asked.
Eri nodded.
"We're here to defeat an evil woman who has poisoned us all."
"I see," Eri said. "And who is this woman?"
But Natsumi did not reply. She wandered off the scene, her nose stuck in her discount flyer as she muttered about the spectacular sales.
"The plot thickens!" Eri announced dramatically into her microphone. "Newscaster Charmy, are you still with us?"
Rika's picture increased in size.
"Yes, field reporter Elizabeth. I'm here watchi-"
"Okay!" Eri interrupted. "Let's see who else we can talk to!"
Rika's image shrank once again, and the audio was cut, leaving the girl to look rather silly talking to herself.
Miki rested her forehead in her hands.
"Somebody call the police," she muttered. "Aya! Call the police!"
"What? Stop exaggerating," came the reply from the bedroom.
For some reason, Aya had left the kitchen and gone to her bedroom. Miki didn't ask why.
On the screen, Eri was searching for the next interviewee to choose from the mêlée, but the next two stars of this ridiculous newsflash decided to choose Eri before she could choose them.
A panda and a sheep cornered her against a wall.
"Meeeh," the sheep brayed.
The panda: "..."
"Eh, um, uh, hello, Mr. Panda and Mr. Sheep," Eri greeted nervously.
"Mehhh. What are you dooooing here? Mehh," Tsuji Nozomi asked, turning her headpiece-covered head to the camera.
"I'm trying to find out what the commotion here in Ataare's Bar is. Who is this mysterious woman you're trying to overthrow?"
The panda suddenly threw its arms around Eri, who gave a little shriek of surprise. The panda slumped over Eri's shoulder and stayed there. Miki thought she could hear snoring. It must've been picked up by that dreadfully hidden boom mic that poked down from the top of the screen.
"Get off of me!" Eri screeched, pushing the panda off her.
She may have looked like a weak little girl, but she was strong. The panda fell to the ground and stayed there, unmoving. Michishige Sayumi, wearing a police uniform, pushed through the crowd and dropped to her knees to inspect the panda.
"This panda is not well!" she cried, grabbing the "panda's" buttocks and shaking it.
A hand shot up and clocked Sayumi in the face. The panda didn't appreciate being touched like that. Miki let her guard down for just a moment and snickered. She then sobered up and kept watching.
"Oooh, we have to take this panda to see the doctor," Sayumi declared.
Just then, a doctor appeared on the screen. But it wasn't a doctor. It was Kaori. She had changed out of her dance costume and was now wearing a doctor's lab coat, her eyebrows taped to point upwards, her eyes shut to tiny slits. It had the effect of making her looking heavily drugged and uninterested.
"Doctor, what's wrong with the panda?" Sayumi asked.
"I dunno," Kaori replied airily.
"Well, check up on him," Sayumi ordered (cutely).
"Well, okay," Kaori sighed.
She kneeled down and placed a stethoscope on Reina's back.
"I don't hear anything," she declared, starting to get up.
"But you're not even wearing that... um, whatchamacallit thing in your ears!" Sayumi cried.
Kaori looked at her stethoscope eartips and sighed.
"Oh."
She put them in and repeated her actions.
"He's alive," she said after one second.
"But how can you tell fro-"
"I'm tired. Bye."
And with that, Kaori stood up and sauntered out of the camera's field of view.
The panda then rolled up and walked away.
"Charmy," Eri said, addressing the camera. "The panda seems to be okay. The doctor appears to have been successful in reviving him. The doctor looks famous. Like someone I know... But no matter. Let's try and find out what's going on here."
Nono the sheep started to bah and prance around the screen. Eri pushed the wild girl aside, and that was that.
"Wasn't that interesting?" she asked the camera with a smile.
"No, it was not. It was weird," Miki muttered.
"Oh, the crowd is thinning out. I can see the centre!" Eri announced, jumping to try and see over taller girls' heads. "I'm going to make my way into the centre."
She pushed into the crowd as various characters called out familiar phrases.
"How did you know that?!"
"Tomeko!!!"
"I'll be frank with you."
"Ooooh ho ho ho ho ohhhh ho ho ho oooooh ho ho ho!"
"Ug. Can I, like, take your order?"
After fighting through a contingent of crazed characters, Eri arrived at the goal.
Miki gasped in horror at what could be seen.
Seated on a chair was someone - a girl was what it appeared to be from her colourful and girlish clothing - with a potato sack over her head. Her legs were tied to the two front legs of the chair and her hands were presumably tied together behind her. She was squirming, and faint, muffled sounds could be heard from under the potato sack, leading Miki to assume that the girl had also been gagged to prevent her from making too much noise.
"Oh my god!" Miki cried out.
No amount of cool character could stop her from reacting to the sight.
"They've crossed the line. They've kidnapped a civilian. Aya-chan, see? This is why we have to call the police!"
On the screen, Miki watched Eri study the prisoner and then grab the closest girl to her.
"Excuse me, but who is this girl?"
Takahashi Ai, now dressed in a nurse's outfit and holding a clipboard, looked at Eri with a pleasant smile.
"She's..." she started but trailed off, her face falling into a sad, tortured expression. "She's..."
Unable to bear the pain of saying the name of the girl, Ai began to cry. She walked away quickly, clutching her clipboard to her chest and trying to control her sobbing.
"It appears I've encountered an unstable nurse!" Eri smiled into the camera and reaching her hand out to grab another girl.
"Excuse me, but who is this girl?"
Asami Konno, wearing a fake long nose and a silly cap, looked at Eri with wide eyes.
"This girl is the Princess of Neverland," she said.
And then her nose grew.
"What?! How?!" Miki screamed.
"You're lying to me!" Eri accused. "Tell me the truth!"
"Oh, okay," Asami replied, looking glum. "She's the most hideous and dangerous girl in the world. She's the epitome of evil and the absolute worst scum you will ever find in this universe..."
Asami's nose didn't grow, which put both Eri and Miki on the edge.
"Her name..."
The suspense grew.
"Her name?" Eri asked.
"Her name..." Miki breathed.
"Her name is-"
And just then, the captive girl, still tied up, threw her head back, whipped the potato sack off, and spit out the handkerchief that had been stuffed into her mouth.
"I'm Kemeko!!"
Miki began to scream and hit her head. Everyone at "Ataare's Bar" began to scream, yell, shout, and run around like headless chickens.
Yasuda Kei, huge red swirl marks painted on her cheeks and a pout that could put any old grandma's puckered up lips to shame, held her head up in triumph.
"Untie me! I'll tell my mommy if you don't!"
Miki stopped hurting herself and watched the proceedings. The tight crowd had suddenly dispersed, giving Kei a wide berth. Funny enough, the yanki girls stood at the outer end of the crowd while the inner end was occupied by various other characters of significantly weaker-looking stature. Everyone, however, was trembling.
"We ain't lettin' you go," Maki the badass yelled in a gruff but shaking voice. "You're a pain in the ass."
"Don't talk to her!" Makoto shrilled in a voice as high as the price her gaudy and complicated dress looked. "It'll only encourage her to speak more! Ohohoho!"
"Wh-what do you plan to do with her?" Eri asked.
Nobody answered. They all looked down to the floor and avoided eye contact. The lights fell, and an eerie red-tinged illumination came from above. A person pushed her way through the crowd.
"Oooh, we'll tell you what we're going to do with her, but you have to promise not to stop us," Yoshizawa Hitomi said, two little devil's horns bouncing on springs attached to a headband on her head.
She wore a black cloak and had a moustache painted onto her face.
"I-I promise," Eri stammered.
"Excellent," the devilish girl cackled. "We're going to sacrifice her to the God of Music and Theatre."
There was a pause.
"What the hell is a God of Music and Theatre? What kind of drugs are you on, Yocchan? Tell me what kind!" Miki yelled angrily at the ridiculous claims of the girl she thought was her friend.
But the claims seemed to become slightly less ridiculous and a tad more dangerous when Yossi produced a sharp looking knife from her robes.
"Oh..." Miki trailed off, not able to find profanity effective enough to communicate her fear.
"In twenty-five minutes, when the clock strikes twelve noon, we will have ourselves a merry little ceremony."
Everyone began to cackle maniacally except for Eri, who smiled brightly and obliviously, and Kemeko, who started to cry.
"Mommy! I want my mommy! You can't do this to me!"
Miki watched in a daze as Eri thanked the group of girls and made her way out of the bar, surfacing to find a bright, sunny street.
"And that's what's happening at Ataare's Bar just in front of Sakanaya Station," Eri said. "This has been field reporter Elizabeth Kamei. Now back to you in the studio, Charmy."
The camera panned out and showed just exactly where the bar was.
"I know that place," Miki gasped.
She jumped up, grabbed her wallet and phone, and ran to the door. Aya, who was just walking out of her bedroom, saw Miki leaving.
"Oh, sorry I took so long. I spilled water all over myself and had to chang-"
"GoingtosaveKeibyeAya!" Miki called out to the girl in one breath, and she slammed the door before she could hear any reply.
"Twenty-five minutes. Sakanaya station. Twenty-five minutes..." Miki mumbled to herself, her mantra to inspire her to run more quickly.
She knew that Sakanaya station was only two stations away from where she was at the moment. If everything worked out smoothly, she'd be able to get there in time to save Kei.
"I can't believe they're going to kill her. Those idiots. Who the hell do they think they are? When I get there, I'ma beat them to little pulps," the girl grumbled under her breath as she waited for the train, drawing odd looks from those around her. "Think they can ruin my life for months. Years! Years. Always talking to me and bothering me and telling me to get married or give them money or whatever."
The train came within two minutes, and Miki jumped on, tapping her foot impatiently. An elderly woman standing next to her shot her an annoyed look.
Oh, I'm sorry if I've ruined your life by tapping my foot, Miki thought sarcastically. I'm just going to save my co-worker's life. Don't pay attention to me.
On the outside, she ignored the woman and kept on tapping.
"Sakanaya station. Sakanaya station," the conductor announced.
Miki was off as soon as the doors had opened enough for her to squeeze through sideways. She careened up the stairs, pushing men, women, toddlers, yakuza, and elderly men aside without consideration of their feelings. Once she reached the only exit of the small station, she barrelled out, jumping over the ticket gate since stopping to put her ticket into the machine would take up precious time.
"Hey, excuse me!" the station attendant called out after her. "Come back!"
Miki ignored and ran towards the bar.
"I'll give you my ticket later, you dolt," she muttered.
She caught sight of the bar. Eri's camera crew didn't seem to be around. The entrance was dark, no lights coming from inside. Miki tried the door, and surprisingly, it opened. She would have thought it would be locked for the sacrifice. The main seating area was dark. She crept through quickly, chills running down her back. An innocent girl was about to be murdered by her own co-workers.
"Don't think about it. Just stop it," she willed herself in a whisper.
She walked by the storage closet that Eri had opened up earlier, and on second thought, she stopped and backed up. She reached out and opened the closet carefully, expecting to see Yui in rags.
Instead, she saw nothing but preserved food, rice, and beer bottles.
"She must've joined the others," Miki concluded aloud.
She closed the door and kept walking to the back room where she knew she'd catch the group of wild girls. Before entering, she grabbed the only weapon she could find - a salt shaker and a fistful of disposable chopsticks. She then took a deep breath and yanked the door open, crying out.
"Ruwaaa! Get away from her!!"
She jumped in, waving her makeshift weapons around and was greeted by three shocked pairs of eyes. An old man with a bald head and wearing work gloves, a middle-aged woman wearing an apron and a handkerchief on her head, and a little boy not more than ten years old all studied Miki. They were seated on stools and discussing something over a folder full of papers that looked like bills.
Everyone held their position for ten seconds. Nobody dared move or say a thing until the child spoke.
"Mommy, look at the crazy lady."
This broke the ice.
"Who are you? What do you think you're doing here?" the woman asked, her kind appearance belying her sharp tongue.
"I... came to... save... Yasuda-san..." Miki said weakly.
"Who?" the elderly man asked, cleaning out his ear with the tip of his finger and squinting.
"I- this place... it-it was just on the news. There was a girls- a gang- a gang of girls. And th-they were going to kill... someone..."
The man and the woman looked around the quiet room that Miki had seen full of crazy people not fifteen minute ago.
"You must have the wrong place," the woman said acerbically, pointing to the door. "Get out."
Deflated, Miki turned around and walked to the door, getting the message.
"Come here like that again and we'll call the police," the woman threatened her.
"Yes, m'am," Miki said, utterly defeated.
Where were the girls? Where was Kei? Had they moved locations? This was definitely the right place. Everything down to the storage closet was exactly as how she'd seen it on the television.
Miki left the bar. Once she got up to the street, she was lost. She didn't know where to go, what to do, and who to talk to. She suspected that nobody would ever believe her story of Rika and Eri appearing on television for their own little psychotic news flash story. To her, it felt like she was all alone in a crowded room. The only thing that would make her feel less helpless would be if she wasn't in a crowded room.
She had no time to think of her plan. It just seemed to come to her as if divinely inspired.
She reached her hand out and grabbed the wrist of an unsuspecting man passing by. She didn't even look at his face.
"Excuse me, but would you please go on a date with me?" she asked.
The man - he looked to be a youngish thirty - took one look at her and nodded.
"Yu-huh."
"Good," Miki said, linking her arm around the man's. "You drive?"
"Uh huh," the salivating gentleman nodded vigorously.
"Good. Take me to... hmmm... What's near here?"
"Urhuhuhuoo," the man grunted, shrugging his shoulders to indicate he didn't know.
"How cute. You speak Neanderthal," she said with a fake smile.
The man beamed.
"All right, then. Take me to Ebisu."
"Yu-huh!"
A few days, pictures, articles, and a whole lot of uproar later, Miki was finally free of the wretched job that had slowly turned her cool mind into a puddle of frazzled nerves. She was free of her more immediate co-workers.
By the way, she still has incidents these days. Sometimes, when the girls see her or she's around the office doing penance for the atrocity of allowing herself to be caught out on a date (a most hideous crime indeed), they get all weird on her, imagining they're other people. This is why she's rarely seen in contact with them. Every time Tsunku, her boss, is about to give her another chance to get back out into the field, she makes sure to go on very visible dates with the man she hired right off the street that day she broke. She pays him in... well, you don't really need to know that. Could be in apples, could be in groceries, could be in Euros. Or perhaps something more untoward. Let's just say that he's happy to be her little lap dog for days in a row.
And that is what happened to her.
The End
-
Wow, I haven't giggled that hard in a while. Poor Miki, though.
And the icing on the cake:
"Urhuhuhuoo," the man grunted, shrugging his shoulders to indicate he didn't know.
"How cute. You speak Neanderthal," she said with a fake smile.
-
Ohhhh now I get the title!
the characters were really weird sometimes, but this last(?) one really won at weirdness... they all got together and went crazy lol... and when the tied-up girl appeared, I got kinda scared of the situation, but when she was revealed I laughed...
what got me really excited was the "aya-not-seeing-the-tv-show" thing... but not only her, it looks like no one but Miki got to watch it! that's reaaaaally crazy, if it is true... :lol:
-
Yay! I recognized all those characters and places. It was very exciting to see the mesh of characters in the same scene. Nice translations to English with everyone's phrases. It would be even more whack if Miki saw herself in the TV report. Aya-chan takes sooooo long...look what happened to your best friend because you didn't watch the TV! Tsunku should have a father to daughter talk with Miki, she's just not getting better. :lol: Maybe she'll really lose herself and become Hecate.
-
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NEW CRACK FROM OTN1!!! :rockon:
"Aya-chan, I swear the world's gone crazy. We work with freaks."
"What do you mean by that?" laughed Matsuura Aya.
She secretly came to the conclusion that Miki was having one of her yearly breakdowns from stress. Sometimes the girl took herself and her work a little too seriously, and this ended in massive disillusionment and disappointment, which were explosively expressed.
Yearly breakdowns? You'd think after the first couple she/they would have come up with a way for Miki to vent that didn't endanger anyone. (http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/hmmm.gif)
"Well, you know how tough and confusing growing up under this kind of pressure can be," Aya said with a pointed look. "The girls are just getting a bit wild while looking for an outlet. We both went through it."
Miki agreed, smiling and remembering their sillier days of horsing around.
They did? Damn, now I'm curious. :P
"And furthermore, they all target me. They gravitate towards me. What did I ever do to them? Did I ever rub stacks of ten-thousand yen bills in their noses or throw turds at them? No!
Ummmm...actually...
(http://www.imgur.com/files/1211/MikiShitSlinger.gif) Po poooooooooooooooo~! >D
Miki tried to compose herself. She turned her attention to the TV. There was a mid-afternoon talk show on. She sat back and tried to relax. She heard Aya tinkering about in the kitchen. She took deep breaths and reassured herself that no matter what happened, she still had a handful of sane friends in whose homes she could seek refuge.
At least Aya doesn't have any characters from the H!M skits that she could lapse into. :D
Suddenly, the picture on the TV screen was engulfed in static that lasted for about one second. When the image re-emerged, it was different from what it had been before. Now, a blue logo that simply said "News Bulletin" appeared on the screen. Music indicating some sort of grand crisis occurring started to play, and the logo began to spin. There was a cut to a news reporter as the music kept playing, its volume lowered significantly.
"We interrupt this program to bring you this breaking news."
Miki's jaw dropped. She knew exactly who this "news reporter" was.
Eh? Don't tell me the TV was showing "Ayaya NEWS" (http://www.imgur.com/files/1211/snapshot20071211213246.jpg)! XD
"I'm Charmy Ishikawa, and I'm happy!" cheered the girl, flashing her trademark smile before quickly becoming solemn.
...
We now go straight to the scene of the action with special field reporter Elizabeth Kamei. Elizabeth, are you there?"
Miki twitched.
Oh...crap! :on lol:
"Oh no," Miki groaned, knowing what was coming.
"What's wrong?" Aya asked, walking up to the couch.
Miki pointed at the screen passionately and beseeched Aya, "Look! Look!"
Oooooooooooooooooh, now if Aya sees the same thing Miki's seeing, then we'll know that Miki-sama's not losing her mind. :hee:
Aya was about to turn her head and look at the TV when the kettle started whistling.
"Oh, hang on. The water's boiling."
She rushed back to the kitchen. Miki groaned again but quickly shut up and kept watching.
But of course, fate isn't that kind. :wahaha:
A colourfully dressed hippie wielding a guitar jumped out of nowhere and started a flamenco riff on his guitar.
Aibon? :?
Miki then took a closer look at the guitarist, receiving a shock. Behind the tinted glasses was a familiar face.
"Kago-chan?!" Miki burst out.
But of course Aibon couldn't hear her.
When did Kago-chan learn to play the guitar so well? Miki wondered.
IT IS AIBON!!! :rofl:
Anyway, at this point Miki MUST be dreaming/hallucinating. After all, Aibon...playing guitar...and doing it WELL???
When Kaori tripped and fell to the floor, the music stopped. However, Aibon kept going. No sound emerged from her guitar, and it became evident that she'd been playing the air and not the strings.
"You phoney," Miki muttered as Aibon let the guitar slip from her hands, the instrument quickly being caught by the strap that held it on her shoulder.
"Oh. Well," Aibon stated when the situation became apparent.
Nevermind. :roll:
"I've figured it out!" she repeated.
"Well?" Eri asked expectantly.
"It's-" Kaori took a step towards the camera as if to impart a secret that only the viewers were privy to hear.
Her expression seemed to cave in on itself. The smile dropped from her face, replaced by a vacant look that leaned towards the sad side. She sauntered off.
Eh? (http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/blink.gif)
"What the hell is this crap?" Miki asked angrily. "Aya-chan, come in here quickly. You'll see what I mean about our co-workers!"
Aya didn't reply, and Miki rolled her eyes. What was Aya doing? Holding a tea ceremony?
She vanish off somewhere? :dunno:
"I'm at the door of the storage room," Eri whispered loudly into her mic, addressing the camera. "I can hear a voice. I'm going to open the door."
...
On the floor was the most interesting thing: Okada Yui dressed in rags and holding a tiny stick in front of her. She shivered as though cold.
"Please... buy a match," she pleaded softly, looking at Eri.
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/HPLeetSpeak/MikiWTF.jpg)
*Maki's "Ayanokouji Warumaro", Yankii Konkon, Kindergartener Aichan, Mama Nacchi*
:dizzy:
"Now tell me: what are you doing here?"
"Here?" Natsumi asked.
Eri nodded.
"We're here to defeat an evil woman who has poisoned us all."
Evil woman? Poisoned them? :?
Oh please don't tell me they're all INTENTIONALLY acting all whacko to drive Miki nuts. :banghead:
On the screen, Eri was searching for the next interviewee to choose from the mêlée, but the next two stars of this ridiculous newsflash decided to choose Eri before she could choose them.
A panda and a sheep cornered her against a wall.
"Meeeh," the sheep brayed.
The panda: "..."
"Eh, um, uh, hello, Mr. Panda and Mr. Sheep," Eri greeted nervously.
Hitotsuji Tsuji and Reina Panda!
The panda fell to the ground and stayed there, unmoving. Michishige Sayumi, wearing a police uniform, pushed through the crowd and dropped to her knees to inspect the panda.
"This panda is not well!" she cried, grabbing the "panda's" buttocks and shaking it.
A hand shot up and clocked Sayumi in the face. The panda didn't appreciate being touched like that. Miki let her guard down for just a moment and snickered. She then sobered up and kept watching.
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/giggle.gif)
"Oh, the crowd is thinning out. I can see the centre!" Eri announced, jumping to try and see over taller girls' heads. "I'm going to make my way into the centre."
...
After fighting through a contingent of crazed characters, Eri arrived at the goal.
Miki gasped in horror at what could be seen.
Seated on a chair was someone - a girl was what it appeared to be from her colourful and girlish clothing - with a potato sack over her head. Her legs were tied to the two front legs of the chair and her hands were presumably tied together behind her. She was squirming, and faint, muffled sounds could be heard from under the potato sack, leading Miki to assume that the girl had also been gagged to prevent her from making too much noise.
Oh crap...H!M skit character revolt! :o
"Oh my god!" Miki cried out.
No amount of cool character could stop her from reacting to the sight.
"They've crossed the line. They've kidnapped a civilian. Aya-chan, see? This is why we have to call the police!"
Is Aya still there? I've got a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad feeling about this. :scared:
"She's the most hideous and dangerous girl in the world. She's the epitome of evil and the absolute worst scum you will ever find in this universe..."
...
"Her name?" Eri asked.
"Her name..." Miki breathed.
"Her name is-"
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/popcorn.gif)
And just then, the captive girl, still tied up, threw her head back, whipped the potato sack off, and spit out the handkerchief that had been stuffed into her mouth.
"I'm Kemeko!!"
OH FOR FU-...
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/assplode.gif)
"Wh-what do you plan to do with her?" Eri asked.
Nobody answered. They all looked down to the floor and avoided eye contact. The lights fell, and an eerie red-tinged illumination came from above. A person pushed her way through the crowd.
"Oooh, we'll tell you what we're going to do with her, but you have to promise not to stop us," Yoshizawa Hitomi said, two little devil's horns bouncing on springs attached to a headband on her head.
She wore a black cloak and had a moustache painted onto her face.
Of course...(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/facepalm.gif)
"Excellent," the devilish girl cackled. "We're going to sacrifice her to the God of Music and Theatre."
There was a pause.
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/dots.gif)
"What the hell is a God of Music and Theatre? What kind of drugs are you on, Yocchan? Tell me what kind!" Miki yelled angrily at the ridiculous claims of the girl she thought was her friend.
But the claims seemed to become slightly less ridiculous and a tad more dangerous when Yossi produced a sharp looking knife from her robes.
"Oh..." Miki trailed off, not able to find profanity effective enough to communicate her fear.
"In twenty-five minutes, when the clock strikes twelve noon, we will have ourselves a merry little ceremony."
Oh shit...:stunned:
The camera panned out and showed just exactly where the bar was.
"I know that place," Miki gasped.
She jumped up, grabbed her wallet and phone, and ran to the door. Aya, who was just walking out of her bedroom, saw Miki leaving.
"Oh, sorry I took so long. I spilled water all over myself and had to chang-"
"GoingtosaveKeibyeAya!" Miki called out to the girl in one breath, and she slammed the door before she could hear any reply.
Okay...either Miki's going to find them all there, and completely flip out at them, or she's going to show up and find NO ONE there...at which point she'll completely flip out and likely continue with her "they're driving me crazy" ranting.
She caught sight of the bar. Eri's camera crew didn't seem to be around. The entrance was dark, no lights coming from inside. Miki tried the door, and surprisingly, it opened.
...
She walked by the storage closet that Eri had opened up earlier, and on second thought, she stopped and backed up. She reached out and opened the closet carefully, expecting to see Yui in rags.
Instead, she saw nothing but preserved food, rice, and beer bottles.
"She must've joined the others," Miki concluded aloud.
That is...if she and the others were really there to being with. :k-crazy:
She closed the door and kept walking to the back room where she knew she'd catch the group of wild girls. Before entering, she grabbed the only weapon she could find - a salt shaker and a fistful of disposable chopsticks. She then took a deep breath and yanked the door open, crying out.
"Ruwaaa! Get away from her!!"
She jumped in, waving her makeshift weapons around and was greeted by three shocked pairs of eyes. An old man with a bald head and wearing work gloves, a middle-aged woman wearing an apron and a handkerchief on her head, and a little boy not more than ten years old all studied Miki. They were seated on stools and discussing something over a folder full of papers that looked like bills.
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/crazy.gif)
Miki left the bar. Once she got up to the street, she was lost. She didn't know where to go, what to do, and who to talk to. She suspected that nobody would ever believe her story of Rika and Eri appearing on television for their own little psychotic news flash story. To her, it felt like she was all alone in a crowded room. The only thing that would make her feel less helpless would be if she wasn't in a crowded room.
She had no time to think of her plan. It just seemed to come to her as if divinely inspired.
She reached her hand out and grabbed the wrist of an unsuspecting man passing by. She didn't even look at his face.
"Excuse me, but would you please go on a date with me?" she asked.
Oh you've GOT to be kidding me... :mon huh:
Take me to... hmmm... What's near hear?"
"Urhuhuhuoo," the man grunted, shrugging his shoulders to indicate he didn't know.
"How cute. You speak Neanderthal," she said with a fake smile.
The man beamed.
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/Clapping.gif)
A few days, pictures, articles, and a whole lot of uproar later, Miki was finally free of the wretched job that had slowly turned her cool mind into a puddle of frazzled nerves. She was free of her more immediate co-workers.
But what about Ayaya? :cry:
By the way, she still has incidents these days. Sometimes, when the girls see her or she's around the office doing penance for the atrocity of allowing herself to be caught out on a date (a most hideous crime indeed), they get all weird on her, imagining they're other people. This is why she's rarely seen in contact with them. Every time Tsunku, her boss, is about to give her another chance to get back out into the field, she makes sure to go on very visible dates with the man she hired right off the street that day she broke.
...
And that is what happened to her.
Well...works for me...I guess.
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That was an awesome conclusion! At the end I was like Ah so that's what happened to her XD The title is so fitting! Kyamei san was totally my favourite in this chapter! I thought throughout the story that the evil they speak of would have been Yuko! and then I freaked out when Miki thought it was a civilian! Hehe I was just as sucked into the tv broadcast as Miki XD but anyways that was a great read! :wub:
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"I'm Charmy Ishikawa, and I'm happy!"
I couldn't stop laughing after reading this, despite listening to sad/depressing music and generally being in sad/depressing mood xD
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At least Aya doesn't have any characters from the H!M skits that she could lapse into. :D
Oh... actually... ^^;
(http://img176.imageshack.us/img176/7792/cap329xh1.th.jpg) (http://img176.imageshack.us/my.php?image=cap329xh1.jpg)
I had an alternate idea that included Aya's character (to give Miki that sense of not being safe anywhere and with anyone), but her character's not interesting at all. She's just her green, slightly more stuck-up self on her way to an audition. I liked it better having normal Aya just conveniently miss the entire broadcast.
...but this last(?) one...
Hahaha, yes, last.
Coachie, I'm happy that Charmy's happiness made you happy. She's always good for bringing smiles to faces.
As always, it's been a pleasure. Thanks for reading. Now that my mind is thoroughly milked of all ideas, it's time for a break.
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Don't be a stranger! :wave:
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As always, it's been a pleasure. Thanks for reading. Now that my mind is thoroughly milked of all ideas, it's time for a break.
Hmmmmmmmm, I've heard this somewhere, but I can't remember where... xD
The chapter was great, gotta love Kyamei xD
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Wow. This fic is a WINNER!! Thanks for sharing it OTN1. I've always thought of making a story using a H!P skit character but you pull out something really great. XD XD