JPHiP Forum
The Hello! Project Fanfics => H!P Fanfics => Topic started by: Comrade on July 14, 2009, 03:53:50 PM
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ComFen have a special Morning Musume at Anime Expo story. I don't think anyone will quite believe what happened, but I swear on my own grave that it's the golden truth. (And don't worry that I don't have a grave. That does not in any way at all invalidate my guarantee. Not one bit.) Also, I totally swear that some of this dialogue is lifted straight out of real life. It really happened that way. (Um, just a bit. As for the rest of it, it's hella dressed up and exaggerated. Virtual cookies to those who can separate fact from fiction.)
I'm sorry for some of the self-referential narrative moments that may be scattered throughout the story, but we live in a post modern world with post modern sleaze (awesome song), and that's the way I write this ComFen crackfic shit (say that 10 times fast).
And yeah, H!P girls play a role in this story, so chill.
This story is dedicated to every fan, whether you were at AX or not. To those I talked to, you may very well appear in this story, so beware. (If you appear, it means I wub you. :D But if you don't appear in the story, I probably wub you, too.) Special shout out to Jabronisaur who is currently sick and in hospital. We love you, man, and we're awaiting your safe return. <3
Anyway, this is what really happened in SoCal not too long ago. ComFen and the Davetron formerly known as EBC invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents.... Disney plagiarism? Er, no...
A ComFen story.
1: Tasked With the Unpossible
Dear all,
I, Comrade, do not wish to intrude. The party is going strong, and I will only get in the way with my tomfoolery-
"Tee hee, you used the word 'tomfoolery'!"
Please excuse Fenrir. She's a pain in the-
"Aibutt!"
Comrade stopped in mid composition.
"Are you gonna let me write this damned thing, or should I knock you unconscious and use your skin and hair to fashion a new boom mic for Dinny whilst the two of us feast on your tender flesh grilled medium rare and served in a white wine sauce?"
The shutting up of Fen was quick and sweet. Never mind that Commie hadn't even met Dinny yet.
Commie picked up her pencil but then slammed it back down on the floor, where she was seated, leaning her back against the bed that was to be hers for the next five days.
"Now I lost my groove," she growled.
Fen smirked from the floor across the room and by the door.
"You never had a groove to begin with."
"Why you..."
Commie leapt forward, her arms outstretched and ready to strangle the quackhead, when Mrs. Fen Senior walked in.
"Anybody want tea?" she asked.
Commie jumped back on the floor and sat on her hands.
"No thank you, Mrs. Fen Senior," she declined politely.
Fen Junior cackled to herself.
"Thanks, Mom, but we're ok."
With a gracious smile FenMom left the room, and Commie was once again lunging in a way to inflict the most pain possible.
"What about some cookies?"
FenMom reprise.
Commie groaned and changed her trajectory so that she appeared to be trying to grab a hold of her suitcase in a desperate, hyper way. She looked up.
"Oh, no, thank you," she said, still polite but a bit frazzled.
"We're good, Mom," Fen smiled sweetly.
This time when Senior left, Commie kicked the door shut so that she could beat Junior.
But just then, a phone began to ring.
"Chu chu chu chu chu, summer partyyy~~~"
Commie stared at Fen with a questioning look.
"What?" Fen mumbled defensively, reaching into her pocket to bring out her blackberry. "It was a good shuffle unit."
Fen bent her head down and read the text message that had just arrived.
"Actually," Commie said eruditely, "I think the style really suited Rika-chan, but the-"
"OMGCommieit'sdinnyandshesaysmorningmusumeisarrivingattheairportsoonsolet'sgo!"
And that was how Commie was forcibly dragged by the arm to the garage and thrown into the front passenger seat of Fen's car. She automatically buckled up as Fen got into the driver's side, and only when the engine was started did Commie have the sense to ask where they were going.
"Where are we going?" she asked in a move of epic redundancy, as it was already written into the narrative that she had asked that particular question.
"I told you. The airport. They're landing in fifteen minutes!!" was Fen's rabidly enthusiastic reply as she backed the car out of the driveway with a few bumps that would've put Commie in a trauma coma if she'd been in an airplane.
"Fifteen minutes?!" Commie cried. "But it takes, like, an hour to get to the airport from here."
Fen's eyes lit up with an evil smile, and she bared her teeth in a frightening grin, her canines glistening in the sun that shone through the windshield.
"Just leave that to me."
And nothing could instill fear in Commie more than the crazyholic driver vibes Fen was giving off.
"But what about Ebc?" Commie asked in a small voice, almost afraid to suggest a detour.
"Oh," Fen said, her evil smile growing deeper. "He's been factored into the equation. I'll have him and us there by the time they land and with time to spare."
Commie gave a silent "oh" to this rather terrifying news, and Fen turned violently onto the main road to pick up Davetron from his hotel.
"Oh.... mother..." Commie mumbled.
But the worst/best was yet to come.
TBC...
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2: Freewayin' Fen and the Comfension
"The fuck are you doing, you mother$@^*#?!"
Commie looked back at Ebc, and the two shared a sweatdrop.
"Stay in your freaking lane, you loser!"
Ebc inspected his reflection in the window to see if all his hair had instantly turned white from the stress of being picked up rather suddenly (and forcibly) from his hotel by a raging Fen. He'd barely had time to grab his video camera. And his pants.
"If you wanna get in front of me, do it, but you better have that peddle to the floor, jerk!!"
Commie thought back to the good old days of the ComFen adventures in Japan. The narrower roads, the less powerful cars, the lack of L.A. traffic... It was all starting to seem a lot more agreeable to her despite the cross-country chase they had been led on.
"Ah, the good old days," Commie sighed aloud.
"What?" Fen asked distractedly.
"I was just thinking about when we lived in Japan and-"
"Shit! I missed our exit!!"
Fen interrupted Commie and swerved the car as it began to climb up to a higher level of the freeway.
"Let's see what this baby can do," Fen grinned, jerking the steering wheel sharply to the right and gunning the engine.
"Dude, Fen, there's a barrier there!" Ebc cried out.
But it was far too late and Fen was far past sanity.
"Hold on!" Fen cackled.
"WHOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Ebc and Commie screamed as the car vaulted over the barrier and down onto the exit. All cars behind immediately braked, and the cars in front that had seen the spectacular stunt began to swerve to the sides, clearing a path for the mad driver. Fen ploughed through without any hesitation.
Commie took this moment to compose a haiku on the spot.
"Oh, FenFen, you nut.
You almost killed your dear friends.
Miki would be proud."
From behind, Ebc was muttering Scientology prayers. Commie turned around.
"Didn't know you were into Scientology," Commie said enthusiastically.
"Just converted," Ebc explained with a grim smile. "I figure with Fen in the driver's seat, I might not make it till the end of the day, and it seemed like a whacky enough religion for me to take on."
"Sounds interesting. Tell me more."
But as things tend to go, there was no time to explain. The next obstacle had appeared.
"Accident on the exit ramp? What the hell? How does someone have an accident on the exit ramp?!" Fen raved.
Commie bit her tongue. No use trying to explain that their car was probably to blame.
It was then when Commie noticed the police lights and sirens looming up from behind them.
"Uh, Fen," Commie said shakily.
"What?" Fen snapped, making a quick lane change to skirt around a stopped car.
"Er, the police are kind of, uh..."
"What?! Just spit it out!" Fen snapped again, this time obviously having lost her patience completely.
"Um, never mind..."
Commie figured they'd been in tighter spots than this before. Fen would pull through and get them out. Either that, or Fen would be going to jail and Commie and Ebc would be deported.
Sure enough, through some amazing driving skills and a drop of sheer luck, Fen maneuvered the car expertly through the tangles of traffic, and the police lights grew dimmer as the sound of the sirens faded away into nothingness.
"Needs more music," Fen muttered under her breath, hitting a button on her steering wheel to start up the stereo system.
Footsteps... Girls talking quietly and excitedly... A car door being unlocked... Car door opening... Closing... "Turn it up"... Engine starting... "Just turn it up"... A beat fading in...
"Sowoneul malhaebwaaaaaaa~ Fen starting singing.
It was like the clouds of misfortune had parted and a celestial being had spoken from above. Comrade was basked in light.
Nirvana.
Enlightenment.
She forgot about the fact that they were doing 150kph through clogged up traffic, and she let the love and praise rip through her body and out her mouth.
"Oh my god. What is this? I goddamn love it!"
Fen looked to her right and grinned, the first non-evil grin of this story.
"Isn't it awesome? You'll never listen to anything else after you finish this once."
The two sat in their front seats and bounced to the beat as they sped over to the entrance of the next freeway, which would take them to the airport.
"I can see. I can seeeeee!" Commie cheered.
In the back, Ebc had collapsed of spontaneous loveshock. He had just finished saying his Scientology prayers when Fen had started the song, and the relief of hearing his most beloved girls singing The Most Awesome Song In The World had been too much of a shocking change for his heart. His blood thinned and he passed out, a happy smile on his face.
"Dude, who is this?!" Commie asked, noticing Ebc but just thinking that jet lag had caught up to him.
"SNSD, my friend," Fen replied, looking over her shoulder in order to confirm a clear path for a lane change.
"So we're racing to the airport to greet Morning Musume while playing some K-pop girl group song?" Commie asked.
"You betcha."
Commie felt like they were a pair of shining superstars, and all her inhibitions slowly melted away. For the first time that day, she felt like Fen wasn't all that insane. Or at least not at all in a bad way.
"Man, then... Screw the law. Get us the fuck over there, Fen!"
"That's mah girl, Com!" Fen cried, raising her hand for a high-five that Commie returned. "For a moment there I was wondering what had happened to the daring Commie that I know."
"She's back!" Commie cheered. "And damn, you've converted me to K-pop."
"Comverted," Fen snickered.
"Heh, A comversion?"
"A... Comfension?"
"Hells yeah!"
High-five reprise.
Fen addressed Ebc in the rear-view mirror.
"You hear that, Dave? We've got another one to add to our list of followers."
There was no response.
"Dave?" Fen tried again.
Commie turned around in her seat and saw The Tron passed out in the back, his head resting against the window and a smile still on his lips.
"I think he's still tired out from the flight. It's, like, the next day's morning for him already... or something," Commie announced ignorantly.
They shrugged and kept bouncing to the music in their seats all the way to the airport.
TBC...
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3: Touching Base
Fen got the trio to the airport in sixteen minutes. She was kicking herself for taking that extra minute, but she had missed the exit to the airport, and she'd had to repeat the same vaulting move in order to get onto the correct ramp. Factoring in unfavourable wind speeds and the various positions of exiting cars, it was clear where that extra minute had gone. While Fen parked haphazardly in a spot near the exit, Commie poked Ebc awake with a stick. Once they were all ready to go (which was when Fen thought they were ready to go and not when they were actually ready to go), they left the car at a sprint. Fen led the pack, Commie and Ebc following hot on her heels.
God, it's way colder in L.A. than I expected, Ebc thought.
Well, so much for being worried I wouldn't get any cardio on this trip, Commie thought.
AibuttAibuttAibutt, Fen thought.
Our three superheros sure were deep thinkers.
"Over there!" Commie cried, catching sight of the arriving passenger waiting area as they waited for the red light to turn blue so that they could cross.
"Are they there yet? Are they there yet?!" Fen asked, jumping over the monstrously tall people in front of her.
"Nope," Ebc said calmly, being one of those tall people.
"Screw this waiting thing!" Fen cried out in frustration, and she grabbed Commie and Ebc's arms, dragging them across the street.
Commie looked at Ebc and shrugged in submission.
"When in Rome..."
All Ebc could do was cling to Fen.
"We're going to diiiiieeeee!"
They made it across the street alive and ran to the covered entrance. A blast of chilly air sent Ebc and Commie to death's door, but they somehow pulled through. Fen was unaffected, being a native of the region.
The airport was flooded with H!P fans of all types and from across the various forums. The largest concentration of waiting fans was standing inside the building and behind a metal barrier that separated them from the arriving passengers. Some of the fans had made a colourful sign welcoming Morning Musume to America. The rest were gathered around, talking, laughing, and snapping photos of each other at this pivotal event.
"FEN!" hollared the loudest voice anyone within one kilometre of the airport had ever heard in their lives.
The trio ventured further in, and what appeared to be a flash of clothes and flesh gathered Fen up in a huge bear hug, swinging her around and jumping up and down.
"It's so good to see you!!" the mysterious person yelled happily.
He eventually let Fen go, and the newly arrived trio saw him clearly for the first time.
"Hey, Daigong," Fen greeted calmly.
"Dude, what's up with this 'Hey Daigong' shit? Greet me like a man!"
Daigong grabbed Fen's hand in a vicious shake and pounded her back with his other hand. Fen coughed a few times, the wind having been knocked out of her. Daigong let her go and turned his attention to Ebc.
"'Sup, Dave!?"
Daigong then proceeded to give Ebc the same manly handshake treatment, though it ended in a more successful way than the FenDai one. Commie tried to introduce herself daintily, but Daigong repeated his action, and unprepared, Commie failed. Very much.
"So, you're Commie. Came out from Australia, too, huh?" Daigong asked.
"Eh? No... What's that all aboot?" Commie said confusedly.
"D'oh!!" Daigong cried out, wincing in pain. "I meant New Zealand. Sorry sorry sorry! I always do that."
Before Commie could correct the error, she was torn away from the group by Erilaz, who had arrived just minutes ago. While they chatted, Fen snuck away and went outside.
"DinDin!" she called out, spotting her twin just outside the door.
"''Sup, Fen?" the girl polishing a video camera asked.
"Just got here. Thanks for the message. Any word?"
Dinny shook her head, mostly keeping focused on her task but sparing Fen an eye.
"Naw."
"Bummer."
They stood there for a minute as Dinny finished fixing up her precious camera.
"Looking forward to it?"
"Hoo yeah," Dinny nodded.
"Aibutt," Fen grinned stupidly.
"Kamei-chan," Dinny replied with the exact same look.
Just at that moment, Commie walked up to the two.
"Hey, Fen," she said, greeting one of the girls.
"I'm Dinny," the girl said. "That's Fen."
"Err...... Oops. Nice camera."
"You make that mistake again and I'll make you into the next furry mic covering," Dinny threatened calmly.
It sure was nice to meet Rev2hd!
TBC...
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HILARIOUS!!!
I love this. XD
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COMFEN CRACKFIC REVIVAL!
I love our car rides. XD
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Commie be original! Don't just copy/paste your LJ entries. I read this one already. XD
Gah, another NOS? I've been writing too. I will make my return soon! :D
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LOL Commie. I didn't expect to make a cameo in here. You made me so evil. XD
"Are you gonna let me write this damned thing, or should I knock you unconscious and use your skin and hair to fashion a new boom mic for Dinny whilst the two of us feast on your tender flesh grilled medium rare and served in a white wine sauce?"
Wow you've turned us into cannibals, but I'm glad you remember how I like my meat done. I think that's what really counts.8D
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°NOS! And also yeah, I was thinking some of the things coming up might mirror my lj. :lol:
Lol, rev. You were integral. Still will be in upcoming chapters! But... "made" you evil? I didn't make anyone anything. They made themselves. I simply report what I see. :taco: (jokes, jokes. ;P)
omg, a dancing taco. I love this forum.
The real action starts next chapter. We need a dancing ComFen emoticon, cuz that's what has to be inserted [here].
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LMAO.... XD
The real action starts next chapter.
So it gets better than the crazy ass race to LAX? :P
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^ mosdef. :P (hah, actually, maybe that was the peak. Damn, fizzled out before a plot even existed... :lol:)
4: Return of the Creature From...
Eventually, Ebc ditched the inside crowd and came to wait outside with Dinny, ComFen, and a few other randomly placed fans. Everyone was rife with nervous, excited energy. They were experimenting with various angles for their video footage while checking their watches every thirty seconds.
"When are they coming?" Commie asked for the fourth time that minute.
"Soon," Fen said for the fourth time that minute.
A minute passed.
"When are they coming?" Fen asked.
"Soon," Commie replied.
They waited for an hour. Arriving passengers passed through the doors constantly during this time, and Fen and Commie would inspect their baggage tags in the hopes of finding a JAL tag, for their stalker hook-up had informed them that Morning Musume would be arriving on a JAL flight.
"They're not here yet," Fen grumbled, and she looked over at one of the fans, the connection to the stalker hook-up who was on the flight with the Musume. "Any word from your friend?"
The calm dude shook his head, and they all continued to play the waiting game. Commie started to take pictures of the waiting crowd while Fen texted them, asking if they could see anything. Never mind that just walking over to ask would be faster...
"Do I make a good tripod?" Dinny asked.
Commie's arms had become tired while taking video footage of absolutely nothing interesting, so she'd rested her camera on the nearest surface - Dinny's head.
"What?" Fen asked, looking up from her phone.
"Or, like, a bipod?" Dinny corrected.
"Tripod?" Fen laughed. "Ha, yeah, maybe if you were a guy you'd be a tripod."
"Muwahaha," Commie cackled.
She stopped filming, however, because her camera was already running low on battery.
"Oh em gee! JAL!" Fen suddenly cried out, pointing frantically at a suitcase an elderly man was carrying.
"JAL! Praise JAL!" Commie cried out, and the two did an Excited Boogie Dance.
Dinny tried to blend in with the door out of embarrassment. Commie ran to get Ebc to tell him that they'd seen JAL tags and that Morning Musume should be out soon.
"That's w-w-wonderful," Ebc-Popsicle stuttered, his teeth chattering.
Commie skipped back to Fen, and they kept their eyes on arriving passengers. Everyone had giant bags of omiyage and perfectly matching luggage sets.
"Ah, Japan," ComFen sighed in unison.
As they were reminiscing, a huge cart full of suitcases that could only belong to nine girly idols was pushed out through the door.
"That's Morning Musume's luggage!" Fen announced giddily, and all cameras immediately turned to the rolling cart.
Commie waved Ebc over.
Any minute. Any minute...
Mass screaming.
"They're here!" ComFen, Dinny, and Ebc all cheered together.
What followed next was pandemonium of extraordinary amounts. As each Musume appeared, the crowd inside went nuts, screaming all the girls' names and snapping photos or taking video. When each girl stepped outdoors, they were greeted with a second wave of psychotic displays.
"Ai-chan!" Fen screamed.
"Kamei!" Dinny screamed.
"Sayu!" Commie screamed.
"..." Ebc was too busy trying to get good footage (i.e. too manly) to scream.
The girls walked by quickly but with slightly dazed and surprised looks. Kamei kept her head down like an Ayubot. Reina managed to look like a pedestrian crossing sign. Sayu spared the camera a pathetic, spastic wave while looking drugged up on sleeping pills. Gaki did that thing with her mouth where she chews on her inner cheeks. Koharu managed to look hugely imposing and taller than Ebc (even though she's totally not). Aika looked like a kid (which is understandable because she is one). Nobody noticed what JunJun was doing. Ai looked calm and happy, but with her usual "..." air. A final girl in a hat rounded up the group. She was sporting a white mask.
"Ah, LinLin!" Fen cried out in surprise, realising who the girl was and speaking aloud without being aware of it.
At the sound of her name, LinLin turned around, her eyes opened wide in surprise, which was actually just her natural facial expression. She waved at Fen and then turned back around to catch up with the rest of the group. ComFen burst into excited giggles. Dinny was off after the girls, filming them from behind (and almost bowling them all down), and Ebc had disappeared to the sidelines, probably finding a more efficient route to follow the girls. Fenrir and Comrade were about to follow when something caught Fen's eye. It made her blood freeze and boil at the same time. She grabbed Commie's wrist.
"Commie, look at that girl."
Commie looked in the direction Fen was looking, and her blood did the exact same freezing and boiling thing. Had there been a need for a blood transfusion at that moment- well, let's not think about that. It would've been messy and unfortunate. The point is that coming out of the door and heading in the same direction as Morning Musume was a girl wearing a black hat pulled down low over her forehead and a white medical mask over her mouth and nose. She was carrying a rather tattered and old black suitcase, and she kept looking over her shoulder as though she thought she were being followed.
"Miki-sama..." ComFen murmured in awe.
But before they could raise an alarm or run a single step, Miki disappeared into the crowd.
"Come on!" Fen said determinedly, and the two tried to sprint after this deviation from the Order of Things.
They didn't even have a chance. They couldn't find her in the crowd. It was as if she'd expected to be recognised and had had her escape route carefully planned ahead of time. Commie and Fen paused and exchanged a worried glance. The last time they'd seen Miki, she'd been kidnapped by a narcissistic and quite insane Aya. They'd been in the middle of giving chase in a stolen car through the countryside of Japan with the help of Ayaka, Kei, and the Hotel de Plot Contrivance (which was a cover for a secret agency that considered Aya a top threat) when they'd been returned to their homes in North America. Now, a year later, they were presented with the victim they had been trying so hard to rescue.
And they'd lost her.
They knew that the game had changed. Wherever Miki went, Aya followed, and wherever Aya went, mayhem ensued. It couldn't be a coincidence that Miki had chosen this day to arrive in Los Angeles. But Fen and Commie didn't know what she was planning and whether or not it would involve the members of Morning Musume. They would have to err on the side of caution and keep an eye on the Musume.
"If she gets my Aibutt in trouble," Fen growled protectively, "I'll make sure she never walks again."
A shocking change for a girl who once would have said such a thing about anyone else trying to put Miki in danger. But Commie understood. She could see the fierce loyalty in Fen's eyes, and she knew that she also had to do everything to protect Morning Musume. Miki may not have bad intentions (wait a minute. Of course she always has bad intentions... though they're more naughty and strange than dangerous), but Aya would have no qualms about creating a situation that got everyone into danger.
"Amen," Commie sighed dramatically, placing a hand on Fen's shoulder. "Amen."
TBC.............
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LOLWUT!! XD
You like taco, eh? :halo:
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Hahaha, most excellent! Daigong's Canadar is weak, for sure xD can't wait to read more!
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/me assplodes from the epicness of the ComFen crack.
:imdead:
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I enjoyed your descriptions of the girls at the airport. :lol: And LOL at crazy Ayaya.
I'd say the plot's getting pretty interesting. :grin:
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Omg, fucking crazy awesome. Ah, I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to meet the two peoples of the ComFen epicness. Wow, I just fangirled over y'all a little.
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I'll write you into it even though we didn't meet, r. I can imagine if you met us. We'd all be blubbering messes of fangirlism.
Thanks for reading, everyone, and sorry for the long wait. I hope the AX excitement hasn't yet completely drained away.
I gave a shout out to a hospitalised Jab when I posted up the first chapters of this story. Things have changed drastically since then. I couldn't really find the heart to keep writing this until now. Jab's shining moment comes later in the story. It was one of the scenes that just came to me in advance (there are a few of those), and I wrote it out a few weeks ago between the writing of the above chapters. I'll be including it where it belongs. Let this story - at least the parts that actually happened - serve as a testament to the wonderful time we all had at AX, a time when we were all well and among friends. We were lucky to have had that chance to gather. Now here is the continuation, incredibly skewed and out of proportion ;) :
5: Tourette's Lunch
Morning Musume passed through with all the deserved fanfare from the gathered masses. Forum members chased them right up to their bus, and the girls started muttering things under their breath about how strange Americans were. Fen and Commie also gave chase, but with decidedly less enthusiasm. They were both preoccupied with what they had seen. Commie was looking over her shoulder every second.
"Stop that. You look like Miki did just now," Fen said, slapping Commie on the head.
"Ow," Commie winced. "But I'm just worried that Aya might be following us."
Fen frowned.
"Why would she do that? It's not us that she wants to kidnap."
Commie shrugged.
"She may not have forgiven us yet for that hotel incident. She may know that we're here and that we're gonna do everything we can to keep the peace. She may-"
"Ok, ok, I get it," Fen said, covering Commie's mouth with her hand.
And so Commie started to lick Fen's hand.
"EWWWW!" Fen screeched, retracting her hand and wiping it on Commie's shirt.
"Yeah, I guess I shoulda warned you about that," Commie grinned. "I tend to make things unpleasant for people who try to shut me up."
As Commie snickered, Fen made sounds of disgust and took out some disinfectant.
"What I want to know," Fen said after she'd de-germed her precious hand, "is how Miki escaped and why she came here. I kinda have a one year mind blank, but wasn't she supposed to be getting married in Hawaii?"
The two struck Thinking Monkey poses.
"Maybe she got off the plane at the wrong stop?" Commie suggested seriously.
Fen hit Commie over the head again (anyone starting to feel sorry for her yet?).
"Stupid. Planes aren't like trains."
"Oh," Commie said, pouting and looking down at her hands.
It killed Fen (yes, positively killed her) to see Commie pout sadly, so she thought a bit more.
"But maybe you have a point. Maybe this was her transfer point, and instead of getting onto her connecting flight, she got off here."
Commie looked back up, smiling like a kid.
"In that case, we have to figure out why she did that. If she was on her way to Hawaii, why didn't she go all the way? Hmmm..." Fen pondered aloud.
There were simply too many possibilities. In the end, da duo decided dat dey should proceed with the assumption that Miki had a long while before her connecting flight and had simply wanted to slip icognito into the city for a bit of sightseeing before it was time to take off again. Of course she would have been a bit paranoid about arriving with Morning Musume after seeing the crowds of fans who would no doubt have recognised her had they been looking for her. That's why she was wearing the hat and mask and peering over her shoulder.
After that monumentally uninformed (which they did not know yet) decision, ComFen relaxed.
"ACK!" Fen screamed moments after.
"What?!" ComTron asked (Ebc had appeared by the girls' side in the meantime).
"I forgot to call my parents. We're supposed to have lunch with them, remember?"
Commie remembered that conversation. It had happened in a split second between the time that Fen received the "MM is here" text message and when the two girls buckled up in the car. As they'd raced through the Fenrir Household, FenMom had intercepted ComFen at high speed. The following occurred in real life in script format (for such a thing is possible, surely to Estrea's discontent):
FenMom: Lunch!
Com: Yes!
Fen: We'll call!
FenMom: 'Fore 1!
ComFen: Kthxbai!
And with this, it had been decided that if Fenrir, Comrade, and Ebc were finished up at the airport before one o'clock pm, they would call FenMom and FenDad and make plans to meet for lunch. Checking their watches, it was 12:59:16pm. They had forty-four seconds to place the call. Otherwise, they'd have to fend for themselves for lunch. Fen ripped her phone out and called with ten seconds still left on the clock.
"Mommy!" she cried out.
"Yes?" Commie asked, looking up.
Fen covered the mouthpiece of her phone.
"Not 'Commie'. 'Mommy'," she explained in a hushed voice.
"Oh, hehehe," Commie said sheepishly, and she shut up.
Fen proceeded to talk to her mother for a full minute while Commie chased her own shadow in a circle and Ebc watched and re-watched his Morning Musume footage. Finally, a FenFamily decision was reached.
"Chinese food!" Fen announced, and before anybody knew it, the three had said goodbye to the rest of the hip fans ("Lunch with the parents!" Fen called out to Daigong by way of explanation, to which Daigong threw his hands up in the air and cursed lunches with parents all across the globe).
It took a while to get back to the car because Commie kept stopping to take pictures of palm trees.
"Will you quit it? There's plenty more where we're going," Fen huffed impatiently.
"But... but... palm trees!!" Commie cried out with glee as she held the camera in front of her own face and tried to take a self portrait with the trees.
(You see, there really aren't any palm trees in Canada, and global warming will probably come and cause Canada to sprout palm trees well before the country has the facilities to take over a territory in a tropical location.)
And so went the twenty minute journey back to the car.
Back on the road, Fen drove, Commie dj'd, and Ebc documented.
"Oh my god, I love these pine trees!" Commie squeed as "Genie" played at the stereo system's loudest volume setting.
"Pine trees?" Fen snickered, but Commie was too caught up in her own ramble to hear her.
"I haven't seen pine trees in a long time. Well, not since I went to Guam a year ago. But I haven't seen, like, American pine tr- er, wait, Guam is America... But I mean, like, in an everyday situation. It's been a while since I've seen pine trees."
"Pine trees?" Fen asked again when Commie had finished her incoherent rant.
Commie paused for a moment and took in Fen's question.
"Shut up," she laughed defeatedly. "Palm trees."
Fen began to laugh uncontrollably as Commie sheepishly muttered to herself to shut up for being so dumb.
They reached the meeting place and met with FenMom and FenDad. They sat down at a large table with a panoramic view of outside and they proceeded to order.
"What foods do you like?" FenMom asked.
"Dave likes chicken but no seafood, and Commie will eat anything-" Fen started.
"Except shrimp," Commie added.
FenMom proceeded to cross off ninety-eight percent of the Chinese restaurant menu. She and FenDad then ordered a whole bunch of dishes that they thought would be appealing to all. Food came quickly, and the crowd dug in. Ebc started working on a whole half of a chicken while Commie attacked the turnip cakes and Fen savoured those chunky noodles that Commie would have shamelessly stolen from her had they not been full of shrimp.
"So how did the airport meeting go?" FenMom asked.
Upon hearing the question, Fen and Commie gulped, which was quite unfortunate since they had not yet chewed the food in their mouths. Large, sharp chunks travelled down their esophagi, causing massive pain and discomfort (shhh, they weren't eating soft noodles and turnip cakes. They had both switched to pork ribs in black bean sauce... yeah...). Once the pain had receded, ComFen shared a concerned look, wondering how much to reveal. They hadn't told their respective sets of parents about their colourful adventures in Japan, not having wanted to worried them. Suddenly explaining it all at a get-to-know-you lunch might be somewhat awkward. Also, ComFen had to take into account Ebc. He had his own history with GAM, but it was a happy one. Nothing dangerous. They didn't want to involve him in a problem if he could be spared the agony. They each used their unique telepathic powers to confirm what the other was thinking, and Fen spoke for the both of them.
"Great! We got to see them."
Commie nodded approvingly. Fen had pulled off a nonchalant attitude perfectly. Ten points for performance and an extra two for above average results. FenParents continued to ask little questions here and there about their time at the airport and, in general, Tron and Com's experience so far in Los Angeles. It was at some point during a conversation about driver's licences that Commie got distracted by something outside.
"There's a man in that tree!" she cried, pointing out the window.
The table of companions looked out to see leaves falling from a palm tree at a steady rate. They looked amused and smiled, but Commie began to dance around at the window sill, pulling out her camera and taking video footage and pictures.
"Oh my gahhh! He's trimming the leaves from the pine tree!!"
Fen facepalmed herself.
"Palm tree," she muttered.
"This is so cool. I'm going to upload this to YouTube!"
FenParents sweatdropped.
"And then I'll say that people in LA are so brave!!"
Tron ignored it all and re-re-watched his Morning Musume airport footage.
Fen stood up and gripped Commie's wrist, wrenching her back to the table.
"Just eat your food so that we can get out of here and get our badges," she whispered harshly.
Commie gulped (poor lil thing) and sat down morosely, picking at the food and avoiding shrimp like the plague.
"AIBUTT!!!" Fen suddenly screamed, making Tron, Com, and FenParents scream and throw their cups of tea into the air.
Once the four had settled, they looked over at Fen, but Fen just sat there, engrossed in her shrimp noodles and working at them in a concentrated, methodical way. She sensed eight eyes on her and looked up.
"What?" she asked, eyes wide, mouth full of noodle.
"Uh..." Commie began.
"You..." Tron tried.
"..." FenParents hummed wordlessly.
"Never mind," Com laughed nervously.
And so lunch ended rather silently, rather awkwardly, and, strangely enough, without anymore outbursts from Fen.
TBC.............
-
^Ahahahahahah! XD
It's PALM trees Commie! XD :heart: I love that part. And you being so excited over the man cutting the palm tree leaves.
The following occurred in real life in script format (for such a thing is possible, surely to Estrea's discontent):
FenMom: Lunch!
Com: Yes!
Fen: We'll call!
FenMom: 'Fore 1!
ComFen: Kthxbai!
ROFL. Awesome.
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^Oi! How did I get a cameo without my knowing it? Lmao.
Pine trees...XD Come down to Singapore, we has more tropical stuff here. :P
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Dammit, so many moments of da LULZ, if I were to comment on them all I'd have a post longer than the actual chapter! :lol:
"Ok, ok, I get it," Fen said, covering Commie's mouth with her hand.
And so Commie started to lick Fen's hand.
"EWWWW!" Fen screeched, retracting her hand and wiping it on Commie's shirt.
"Yeah, I guess I shoulda warned you about that," Commie grinned. "I tend to make things unpleasant for people who try to shut me up."
Commie licking Fen's hand? Oh yeah, DEFINITELY hawt. :D
The two struck Thinking Monkey poses.
ComFen = :mon unsure: :mon dunno:
"Maybe she got off the plane at the wrong stop?" Commie suggested seriously.
Fen hit Commie over the head again (anyone starting to feel sorry for her yet?).
Commie --> :bangchair: <-- Fen
"ACK!" Fen screamed moments after.
"What?!" ComTron asked (Ebc had appeared by the girls' side in the meantime).
Dave's all ninja like that, like an Aussie-Batman without the cowl....or cape....or rubber suit (which is probably a good thing, given how hot it was during AX). :batman:
Fen proceeded to talk to her mother for a full minute while Commie chased her own shadow in a circle and Ebc watched and re-watched his Morning Musume footage. Finally, a FenFamily decision was reached.
"Chinese food!" Fen announced, and before anybody knew it, the three had said goodbye to the rest of the hip fans ("Lunch with the parents!" Fen called out to Daigong by way of explanation, to which Daigong threw his hands up in the air and cursed lunches with parents all across the globe).
More likely than not dai was just pissed that he wasn't going to be able to mooch a free lunch. :P
*COMMIE'S TREE TALK*
Dare I say, Commie's a tree-hugger (and I mean this in a good way in that she likes seeing trees, not in that she's an overly fanatical biologist that goes all psycho did like how Poison Ivy does in the Batman franchise...though if that were true Commie would look soooooooooooooooo hot in the Poison Ivy outfit. :drool:
They reached the meeting place and met with FenMom and FenDad. They sat down at a large table with a panoramic view of outside and they proceeded to order.
"What foods do you like?" FenMom asked.
"Dave likes chicken but no seafood, and Commie will eat anything-" Fen started.
"Except shrimp," Commie added.
FenMom proceeded to cross off ninety-eight percent of the Chinese restaurant menu.
Ninety-eight point six percent, to be precise. ::)
Commie's allergic to shrimp? :?
They each used their unique telepathic powers to confirm what the other was thinking, and Fen spoke for the both of them.
Ah, so the telepathy has more uses than just ordering buta kimchee?
:pig huh:
FenParents continued to ask little questions here and there about their time at the airport and, in general, Tron and Com's experience so far in Los Angeles. It was at some point during a conversation about driver's licences that Commie got distracted by something outside.
"There's a man in that tree!" she cried, pointing out the window.
The table of companions looked out to see leaves falling from a palm tree at a steady rate. They looked amused and smiled, but Commie began to dance around at the window sill, pulling out her camera and taking video footage and pictures.
"Oh my gahhh! He's trimming the leaves from the pine tree!!"
Fen facepalmed herself.
"Palm tree," she muttered.
"This is so cool. I'm going to upload this to YouTube!"
FenParents sweatdropped.
"And then I'll say that people in LA are so brave!!"
Tron ignored it all and re-re-watched his Morning Musume airport footage.
Did the kitchen know to not add MSG to the meal? Non-oriental people sometimes react..........
....
....
they react to it. :nervous
"AIBUTT!!!" Fen suddenly screamed, making Tron, Com, and FenParents scream and throw their cups of tea into the air.
Once the four had settled, they looked over at Fen, but Fen just sat there, engrossed in her shrimp noodles and working at them in a concentrated, methodical way. She sensed eight eyes on her and looked up.
"What?" she asked, eyes wide, mouth full of noodle.
"Uh..." Commie began.
"You..." Tron tried.
"..." FenParents hummed wordlessly.
"Never mind," Com laughed nervously.
And so lunch ended rather silently, rather awkwardly, and, strangely enough, without anymore outbursts from Fen.
Fen = :mon blowhorn:
Tron, Com, and FenParents = :OMG: :OMG: :OMG: :OMG
Fen = :mon noodle:
Tron, Com, and FenParents = :mon one:
Fen = :mon huh2:
Commie = :mon huh:
Tron = :mon huh:
FenParents = :gmon sweet: :gmon sweet:
Commie = :mon sweat:
And so lunch ended rather silently, rather awkwardly, and, strangely enough, without anymore outbursts from Fen.
Fen = :mon noodle:
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Uwah, Commie!!! XD The licking of Fen's hand and the Mommy/Commie and the pine trees and.... :P I could go on and on~
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Hmm, I was busy when you first started posting this story, and later, once the title changed to this, I figured it was over - a completed short story or something. :lol: I suppose I really should have commented here sooner... I'm bad. :P
Nice getting the second-hand tale of the airport. Y'know, I bet it was Miki, cackling all the way, who led us all around the exhibition hall after the panel like chickens when we were trying to find the autograph session... :shocked:
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Hahah, commie, you're ADORABLE! Loving this story, it keeps making me laugh out loud, and it brings back the A-X memories. Can't wait for the next chapter!
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Just found this! OMG! LOVE IT! :heart: Looking forward to the rest!
"Ok, ok, I get it," Fen said, covering Commie's mouth with her hand.
And so Commie started to lick Fen's hand.
"EWWWW!" Fen screeched, retracting her hand and wiping it on Commie's shirt.
"Yeah, I guess I shoulda warned you about that," Commie grinned. "I tend to make things unpleasant for people who try to shut me up."
Commie licking Fen's hand? Oh yeah, DEFINITELY hawt. :D
Seconded'd. :mon mischief:
And nice retelling of scenes in emoticon form, JFC. :thumbsup
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Commie, this is great stuff, looking forward to seeing whats next.
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:heart:
See, this is what I write for. (Not the beatings. Stop the beatings, plz, FenFen. :cry:)
I actually do that licking thing. >=D (I didn't do it irl this trip.) And yeah, I was allergic to shrimp/shellfish when I was a little kid, so I've learned to avoid them (heh, I think my hatred of shrimp taste/smell developed as a survival mechanism). The Mommy/Commie thing actually happened!! Except it was the opposite (Fen was calling for me, but FenMom thought she was calling her), and the pine/palm tree rant thing happened, as well as the man trimming the leaves of the palm tree. I'm telling ya, all of this story is true. :lol:
Yay, new readers. Enjoy, enjoy! And lmfao, I think I should hire JFC to do the emotillustrations for the story, cuz he's so awesome at that. <3
6: Picking Up What You Won't Keep
Lunch was over, and ComFenTron thanked FenParents profusely for the lovely time. FenParents went off to do some shopping while ComFenTron went to first grab some bubble tea (during which FenTron became sunglasses models and had their photographs taken for Maxim, Cosmo Australia, and Flare) and then head over to the Convention Center to pick up some AX badges. They sped down the freeway, though in a much calmer way than before. Commie kept checking over her shoulder for signs of approaching disaster (namely locust swarms), and Fen kept hitting Commie in the head until a black and blue bump appeared just above her left ear.
When they reached the Convention Center, their jaws dropped.
"Ats eh onest ain aigh eeh een."
"Oh gna haaaag."
"Uer uher!"
(Translated from the original Jawdroppedenese into English, these phrases mean "That's the longest line I've ever seen", "Oh my god", and "Mother fucker!" respectively. Your guess as to which person said each line.)
The line was no less than twelve point eight two three five kilometres long (length estimated by using certain Euclidean values plugged into a JFCian formula while substituting the Pythagorean theorem with certain equations from the basic laws of thermodynamics where f = 2 iff 2 + 2 = 5 (number is subject to change at the government's discretion).
They stood in this line (as did an amount of people equal to the entire population of mainland China) and waited.
Waited waited waited.
"There's something in my shoe," Tron mumbled.
He removed his shoe and looked inside.
Nothing.
Waiting waiting waiting.
Six hours passed.
"You know, I have a belt, and if we could find a sturdy pole over seven feet up in the air, we could tie one end around our necks and-"
Slap! Fen rid Commie of that idea.
Waiting waiting waiting.
Another six hours.
"Will Godot ever show up?" Tron wondered aloud, earning him 'wtf' glares from ComFen.
Waiting waiting waiting.
Three hours passed.
"... and I said to the guy 'You can wait outside all day, but I know you're not a plumber and I'm not letting you into my house', so he finally left, and two days later, the cops arrested him."
Commie had just finished recounting the time she'd met a serial killer when the line finally gave way and throngs of fans rushed the Convention Center hall. ComFenTron were pushed by this massive wave, and to their absolute luck, they were dropped off just two hundred people away from the front of the line.
"Nice!" Fen grinned. "I'm gonna go and see if my buddy is working at registration. He might be able to help Dave."
Davetron had not brought his registration info, and it was unclear whether he needed it to get his badge. Fen took off towards the side of the hall, and ComTron remained waiting.
Just then, Commie's Spidey Sense started tingling. Her whole body began to burn with terrified heat, and her heart began to beat so loudly that she could have sworn she was sending false SOS signals to the Nepalese intelligence agency that had once hired her. She looked across the room just in time to see Fenrir the Great fall forward to her knees and then flat on her face. The breath caught in Commie's throat. In turn, a flash of movement at the back of the room caught her eyes, and she looked just in time to see a shadowy figure disappear through the black curtains set up there.
"Hold our place in line!" Commie ordered Dave as she rushed out into the open floor.
"Aye!" Dave saluted faithfully.
"Fen!!!" Commie yelled out dramatically, approaching the felled girl. "What happened?!"
Fen rolled over onto her back and winced up at Commie.
"I dunno," she said through grit teeth. "I was just walking and then suddenly BAM! My legs cramped up and I couldn't walk anymore."
Commie frowned and helped Fen sit up. Pain shot up through Fen's legs, and she groaned about how she wished humans had evolved without the need for legs.
"Lemme see," Commie said, twisting one of Fen's legs slightly.
Inspecting Fen's calves, she noticed miniscule holes in the jeans. On the skin was a puncture mark, one on each leg.
"You've been hit by a tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor!!" Commie gasped.
"Oh noes!!" Fen screamed, striking a terrified pose which promptly dissolved into a confused frown. "What is a tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor?"
Commie did not answer the question. Instead, she related to Fen exactly what she'd seen moments before Fen had collapsed. As Fen computed this information, Commie started to massage Fen's calves.
"I'm sorry I'm not a doctor," Commie said sadly.
She had really meant to go to medical school, but it had slipped her mind over the past 4 years. It was on her "To Do" list right behind donating her life's savings to natural disaster survivors, accepting Jesus Christ as her personal saviour, and learning how to pilot a plane. (Life really is too short to fit everything in, which was what Commie would have liked to tell all the people who had ever handed her a pamphlet on the street.)
"Do you think you can walk?" Commie asked, keeping one eye on Dave and noticing that he was now just a handful of people away from the registration desk.
Commie stood up and offered her hands to Fen. Fen grabbed them and hoisted herself up, but she fell right back down.
"Damnit shit crap-"
And the list of expletives went on until Fen had drained all her brain's resources trying to find all the suitable words to describe her pain and frustration.
"Er, I guess we'll have to be creative about this," Commie said brightly.
She bent down to hoist Fen up, and in an amazing move that would be impossible in actual life, she lifted Fen's entire body up so that she was carrying her.
"Oh, Commie!" Fen cried out, hearts in her eyes.
Commie sweatdropped.
"Just stay still, 'k? I'm not very strong," Commie pleaded, her arm muscles already beginning to scream out their objection to carrying anything heavier than a purse.
"My hero!!!!!"
Fen rested her cheek on Com's shoulder, and this was when things got uncomfortable.
"Ew ew ew ew ew ew STOP THAT OR I WILL DROP YOU RIGHT NOW!" Commie screamed at the swooning freak.
But as if to piss Commie off even more, Fen just smiled more broadly and snuggled. She knew Commie wasn't cruel enough to actually drop her.
"Ew, you and e-girl are the same, ya know?" Commie ranted angrily as she staggered towards Dave. "You both act as if I'm some pillar of strength that can carry you whenever you need a lift. And I still haven't forgotten about those bike rides!! I had to peddle both of us between the station and my apartment. That's not easy! And ug, stop snuggling into me. It's hot and we've been standing in line for eighty-three hundred hours...."
"Mush!" Fen ordered with a bright smile.
Visions of Canadian sled dogs filled their heads.
"I swear if you say or do anything more, I'm going to throw you to the mercy of that Queen Beryl cosplayer over there. I'm sure he'd love to incorporate you into his entourage of scary youma and- EW STOP THAT!"
And so on and so forth.
When the duo reached Dave, he was staring at them as though they'd each sprouted a new eye.
"What the devil?" was all he could ask.
"Her legs cramped up suddenly for no reason and she couldn't walk!" Commie said quickly, hoping that the cover story would be acceptable.
"And Commie saved me!" Fen announced cheerfully.
One could see the hearts floating out of her head. Dave laughed while Commie's eyes bled.
"Anyway," Commie said before anyone could say anything else, "we need to get her a chair."
And magically, a chair appeared in front of them.
"Ah, excellent."
Commie placed Fen on the chair, and all was back to normal as ComTron retrieved their badges.
Well, normal for everyone else. Not ComFen.
Who was the mysterious person in the curtains? And how did he or she have access to a tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor gun? Would Fen be ok, or would the effects of the tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor last for more than a few hours? It had to have something to with Miki-sama's appearance, but they didn't have enough evidence yet. They needed to do some serious investigating.
The hunt was on!
TBC..........
-
I see my name there. :heart: But you are like a pillar, you're taller than both of us and with your gigantor hands you can carry us both. XD
I know what TBC means but I keep seeing that as a reference to ebc which makes me wonder what the T would mean, and then I see it as TFC (the Filipino channel) but when I see TFC I see that as a reference to KFC which makes me wonder what the T would mean again in this case. And somehow it ends up being "tablespoon" in my head. XD
wub u Commie :love:
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See Commie, I do love you! :heart: XD
"Mush!" Fen ordered with a bright smile.
Visions of Canadian sled dogs filled their heads.
*Looks over at her Canadian Moose Plush* lol
And I still haven't forgotten about those bike rides!! I had to peddle both of us between the station and my apartment. That's not easy! And ug, stop snuggling into me. It's hot and we've been standing in line for eighty-three hundred hours...."
Awwww. Thanks for all those bike rides! XD Good thing we were never caught by a cop! :P
But oh noes! Who attacked me?! I'm guessing its that egotistical Ayaya. XD
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I think I should hire JFC to do the emotillustrations for the story, cuz he's so awesome at that. <3
:heart:
Just keep writing the crack, and I'll find some way to make the emoticons work. Fortunately dai's loaded us up with so many, it makes it a bit easier. :twothumbs
Picking Up What You Won't Keep
Lunch was over, and ComFenTron thanked FenParents profusely for the lovely time.
Sounds like it should be the name of a Transformer. XD
Commie kept checking over her shoulder for signs of approaching disaster (namely locust swarms)
I sorta wanna ask, yet at the same time I'm thinking it's probably easier if I just don't. :P
and Fen kept hitting Commie in the head until a black and blue bump appeared just above her left ear.
So much for Commie's request for no more beatings.
When they reached the Convention Center, their jaws dropped.
"Ats eh onest ain aigh eeh een."
"Oh gna haaaag."
"Uer uher!"
ComFenTron:
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/jawdrop.gif) (http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/jawdrop.gif) (http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/jawdrop.gif)
(Translated from the original Jawdroppedenese into English, these phrases mean "That's the longest line I've ever seen", "Oh my god", and "Mother fucker!" respectively. Your guess as to which person said each line.)
Oh, too easy.
"Ats eh onest ain aigh eeh een." --> Davetron
"Oh gna haaaag." --> Commie
"Uer uher!" --> Fen. :D
/me prepares for a Fen-whuppin'. :twisted:
The line was no less than twelve point eight two three five kilometres long (length estimated by using certain Euclidean values plugged into a JFCian formula while substituting the Pythagorean theorem with certain equations from the basic laws of thermodynamics where f = 2 iff 2 + 2 = 5 (number is subject to change at the government's discretion).
Fook yeah! I'm a formula! :cow:
"There's something in my shoe," Tron mumbled.
He removed his shoe and looked inside.
Nothing.
Well, there was something in his shoe.
...
It's called a "foot". They're commonly found attached to a boney structure known as a leg and have been known to come in pairs. 8)2
Another six hours.
"Will Godot ever show up?" Tron wondered aloud, earning him 'wtf' glares from ComFen.
Waiting waiting waiting.
I TOTALLY UNDERSTOOD THIS REFERENCE!
:on lol:
Just then, Commie's Spidey Sense started tingling. Her whole body began to burn with terrified heat, and her heart began to beat so loudly that she could have sworn she was sending false SOS signals to the Nepalese intelligence agency that had once hired her.
The Nepalese? :rofl:
*FEN'S LEG CRAMPZ*
OF COURSE! How could we have NOT realized that it was a tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor! :doh:
Commie started to massage Fen's calves.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...oh yeah...this is hawt too. :drool:
"Do you think you can walk?" Commie asked, keeping one eye on Dave and noticing that he was now just a handful of people away from the registration desk.
Commie stood up and offered her hands to Fen. Fen grabbed them and hoisted herself up, but she fell right back down.
"Damnit shit crap-"
And the list of expletives went on until Fen had drained all her brain's resources trying to find all the suitable words to describe her pain and frustration.
Which means she was cursing until after Dave got his badge? :P2
She bent down to hoist Fen up, and in an amazing move that would be impossible in actual life, she lifted Fen's entire body up so that she was carrying her.
"Oh, Commie!" Fen cried out, hearts in her eyes.
Commie sweatdropped.
Fen = :wub:
Commie = :sweatdrop:
"My hero!!!!!"
Fen rested her cheek on Com's shoulder, and this was when things got uncomfortable.
"Ew ew ew ew ew ew STOP THAT OR I WILL DROP YOU RIGHT NOW!" Commie screamed at the swooning freak.
But as if to piss Commie off even more, Fen just smiled more broadly and snuggled.
Fen = :mon inluv:
Commie = :shock:
Fen = :hee: then :sleep:
And ug, stop snuggling into me. It's hot and we've been standing in line for eighty-three hundred hours...."
"Mush!" Fen ordered with a bright smile.
Commie --> >:(:whip: <-- Fen
When the duo reached Dave, he was staring at them as though they'd each sprouted a new eye.
"What the devil?" was all he could ask.
"Her legs cramped up suddenly for no reason and she couldn't walk!" Commie said quickly, hoping that the cover story would be acceptable.
"And Commie saved me!" Fen announced cheerfully.
Dave = :mon huh2:
Commie = :err:
Fen = :nya:
One could see the hearts floating out of her head. Dave laughed while Commie's eyes bled.
Fen = :mon lovelaff:
Dave = :mon lol:
Commie = :bleed eyes:
One might almost think you were deliberately writing this with emoticon spam in mind. O0
Who was the mysterious person in the curtains? And how did he or she have access to a tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor gun? Would Fen be ok, or would the effects of the tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor last for more than a few hours? It had to have something to with Miki-sama's appearance, but they didn't have enough evidence yet. They needed to do some serious investigating.
The hunt was on!
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!
-
I see my name there. :heart: But you are like a pillar, you're taller than both of us and with your gigantor hands you can carry us both. XD
BUWAHAHA, true. I could probably lift both of you with one gigantor hand (heh, if I had the muscle for it).
lmao @ Tablespoon. XP
Awwww. Thanks for all those bike rides! XD Good thing we were never caught by a cop! :P
Heh, this picture cannot be posted enough:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v285/ComradeM/TheComFenShadooooowpic.jpg)
Yep, that's ComFen's shadow on an old school bicycle.
I think I remember one time there was a cop at/near the Superfresh, and so we got off the bike and walked by... or something... :lol:
"Ats eh onest ain aigh eeh een." --> Davetron
"Oh gna haaaag." --> Commie
"Uer uher!" --> Fen. :D
LOL, spot on.
OF COURSE! How could we have NOT realized that it was a tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor! :doh:
I know, eh? We just weren't thinking straight that day. Too much excitement!
One might almost think you were deliberately writing this with emoticon spam in mind. O0
Buwahaha, actually, I comfess that the "Commie's eyes bled" part I wrote with that emoticon in mind. :lol:
-
I added some chapter numbers because I supposed one must have an order of things.
This is what you get when you try to get Fen to randomly name a chapter without her knowing she's naming a chapter :roll: :
7: Feet Aibutts Chips HDDs Commies
"And then you turn left, left again, make a right at the door, right, right, left, up the stairs, back down the stairs, shake your booty, and then do a cartwheel into room 2409," Fen explained seriously. "And don't forget that cartwheel. If you don't do it, you'll have to go through the whole procedure again, and you do not want to waste your precious time. It happened a few years ago when I wanted to get this game creator's autograph, and I'm tellin' ya, it sucked big time."
The three Japanese Hellopro fans nodded throughout the explanation, one even taking detailed notes. They had been confused during the badge pick up and Fen had graciously helped them by providing them with more information on how to get Morning Musume's autographs come Friday.
"Do you have to have perfect form for the cartwheel?" Fan 1 asked.
"No," Fen said, shaking her head. "As long as it can technically be called a cartwheel, you're good. Oh, and you might want to empty out your pockets beforehand. I've seen a lot of suckers lose their money and cell phones trying to get autographs."
"Oooo, ahhhh," the three fans said as they nodded and made mental notes to secure all of their personal items before engaging in reckless autograph getting.
"Remember, always practice safe cartwheeling!" Commie said brightly.
Everybody stared at her funny and then ignored her.
"Oh, and one final thing," Fen called out as the three fans stood up to leave. Her voice took on a sombre tone, and thinking about the mayhem she felt sure was yet to come, she sighed sadly. "Watch your backs."
The three fans looked horrified by her words. They stared at each other and wondered if this trip was the worst mistake of their lives. Maybe there was something that was not worth facing in order to meet Morning Musume.
"Uh," Commie butted in desperately and trying to sound cheerful, "she just means cuz this is America and it's all dangerous and stuff."
The three fans nodded hesitantly, still a little suspicious of Fen's words but willing to face a few knocks for the sake of getting Momusu autographs. They thanked Fen for her help and left in a hurry.
"Fen, don't scare people like that," Commie hissed in a quiet voice. "If you start to get all gloomy, people are gonna start asking questions, and eventually they're gonna find out about Miki-sama."
Fen ignored Commie's rebukes and sat in deep thought for several minutes before speaking.
"The leg cramp cover story will work, but if anything else strange happens, we're going to have a hard time passing it off as normal. We have to find Miki-sama and see what she knows."
Commie sat down on the floor beside Fen's chair and they did some thinking.
"She's probably not going to come to us willingly. Otherwise, she would have already made contact," Commie said.
"Right," Fen agreed, a smile starting to spread across her face as a plan formed in her mind. "So what we need is bait."
"What are you thinking?" Commie asked with a perplexed frown.
"What does Miki-sama love more than anything else in the world, Commie?" Fen asked, her answer clearly already in mind.
"Er..." Commie hummed, trying to decide the answer out of the ten choices she thought of off the top of her head. "Meat?"
"No, dummy," Fen said, inevitably giving Commie a smack in her head. "Molestation!"
Commie rubbed her head and frowned some more.
"So, uh, how are we gonna use that to our advantage? You can't exactly dangle molestation at the end of a fishing rod."
She thought her answer was clever and witty, but all she got was another bash in the head and a glare from Fen.
"Obviously what we have to do is create an opportunity for her to use her groping hands. Once we have her cornered, we'll be able to interrogate her."
Commie continued to rub her head more out of habit than anything else. She suddenly smiled brightly.
"That is a good idea!" she declared, jumping up. "And I know of the perfect scenario."
Fen was about to ask what it was when Davetron walked up to the pair.
"Hey, guys. Um, could we get going? It's kind of boring watching people register."
ComFen shared a look and then both nodded firmly.
"Let's go find the rest of the gang. JPH!P's waiting to see us," Fen said.
ComTron began to march towards the exit when Fen called out.
"Excuse me! Forgetting something?"
ComTron turned around and saw Fen sitting helplessly in the chair, pointing at her legs and looking at Commie pointedly. Commie groaned inwardly as she walked back to the chair. Fen raised both arms out straight and looked at Commie expectantly. With a sigh, Commie did what she had to do.
*****
Commie placed Fen down on another conveniently placed chair outside the registration hall and ComTron sat on the floor, waiting for Hipsters to start gathering. Sure enough, they came by one by one.
And now the members of the forum. Starring... Commie!
Theeeere was Tenkei and Daigong and Dinny and Tris-chan and Mugen, KT, Ping, and Sev.
And the song is over because while Warner had the patience to write a song about the countries of the world for Yakko, Commie does not have the patience to write a song about the members of JPH!P for Commie. But even though no song exists, it is safe to say that many forum members gathered 'round ComFenTron. They all began to talk excitedly with each other, each sub-group with a unique topic.
"I'm from California, but the cool part."
"...AT&T, but I'd switch over if I had a good reason to."
"Did you see the butt on her?!"
"Montreal, eh? I crossed the border once to go drinking there."
"I prefer Jessica, but..."
"GIVE ME BACK MY OLIVES!!!"
"That is not the correct way to thread a needle."
Etcetera.
"Hey, ComCom. You up for a little in 'n out?" Tenkei asked Commie.
"Excuse me?" Commie asked, taken aback at such a bold request.
"It's a fast food restaurant, Commie," Fen clarified before punches were thrown.
"Oooohh," Commie cried out loudly in relief. "I knew that. Sorry. Mind somewhere else."
People in Commie's immediate vicinity furrowed their eyebrows and wondered suspiciously what Commie was thinking about.
"Ehehe," ComCom said, laughing nervously and addressing TenTen. "Well, maybe. We might have other business to attend to..."
Com and Fen shared secret-but-not-so-secret-cuz-everyone-saw looks.
"Yeah, uh, my legs kinda hurt and we have to wake up early tomorrow, so maybe we should try and head home earlier," Fen added.
Though there was a slight problem. How would Fen drive?! Commie didn't even have her Canadian driver's licence, and while Tron had his Australian licence, he had no international licence. It was quite the predicament.
"I need to go to the washroom!" Fen announced.
Commie jumped up.
"I'll take you!"
Fen gave Commie a mischievous look, and tears slid down Commie's cheeks as she remembered what moving Fen entailed.
"Why are you crying?" asked the voice of an angel (author's note: this is a common epithet for Tris-chan in such highbrow literature as ComFen Adventures and Dostoyevsky 's Crime and Punishment ).
Commie took one look at Tris and burst out sobbing.
"I really want to help Fen, but I don't want to have to deal with what comes out of it. What do I do?"
Tris opened up her arms and let Commie cry on her shoulder.
"There there, my child," Tris sang in a soothing voice, stroking Commie's hair in a comforting fashion. "Comfess your sins to me and you will be forgiven."
Commie sniffed.
"Well, when I was four years old, I found-"
"Ahem."
Commie tensed up and looked back. Fen was sitting in her chair, arms crossed impatiently and looking like she was about to explode. Commie extricated herself from the angel's caring hold and went to help Fen.
"Comfess your sins? What is this? Stroking Commie's Ego Day?" Fen ranted angrily. "So everything that starts with 'con' gets to turn into your name? What about my name, huh? How about every time we want to say 'fun', we say 'Fen' instead?"
"Uh, so, if I wanted to say 'I'm gonna have fun tonight', I'd have to say 'I'm gonna have Fen tonight'?" Daigong asked, looking rather pleased with himself.
Everyone in the group snickered while Fen re-evaluated her idea.
"Let me give this some more thought before we come to a final agreement," Fen mumbled
Tenkei nodded, straightening out some papers that had magically appeared in his hands.
"I'll call for a shareholders' meeting tomorrow and let them know they should bring their ideas to the table," he said in a professional tone.
"Oh, and make sure Clarence is there on time. He's always late," Fen ordered.
"Will do, Fun- er, Fen," Ten acknowledged.
Everyone watched this strange exchange take place without a single clue as to what was happening. But just as quickly and randomly as this strange office performance had started, it stopped.
"So anyway," Fen said, "Let's Washroom!"
Commie nodded slowly, and doing what she had to do, the two made their way to the washroom on one set of legs.
********
In the washroom, Fen sat on a conveniently placed chair and Commie yanki squatted beside her.
"I..." Fen began, "...can't even remember why we're here."
Commie almost fell down.
"In 'n Out," she clarified.
"I beg your pardon?!?" Fen cried out.
"The restaurant, man," Commie said with a frown. "What were you thinking?"
Fen shook her head.
"Never mind. Here are our options. First option: we get Dave to drive and pray we don't get pulled over by super hot LA cops."
Commie had wonderful visions of such a thing happening.
"Second option: we get Dinny or Tenkei to drive us and then have whoever it is stay over with us."
Slumber party fun certainly sounded nice. Plus if ComDin could gang up on Fen, life would be awesome. If Ten slept over, it'd have to be ComFen versus TenTen, because boys have cooties.
"Third and final option: we wait a while, and if my legs are feeling better, I'll be able to drive us back."
Probably the most convenient of the options, though perhaps not the safest should Fen's legs cramp up in mid drive.
"We have not explored a fourth option," Commie pointed out.
"Oh? What's the fourth option?" Fen asked, all ears.
"I drive!"
There was a moment of terrifying silence, and the two imagined what would happen if Commie was allowed behind the wheel....
[The scene that belongs here has been omitted due to its graphic content and in fear of copycat criminals. Should the reader wish to read the original and uncut manuscript of this story, please submit an application form (downloadable at the ComFen homepage) and have it signed by three witnesses, the Pope, and the third minister of Djibouti. Please note that it may take up to eight hundred and three business years to process your request.]
They left the washroom in a daze. After imagining Commie driving, Fen had beaten Commie up and then forced her to carry her back out. An exhausted Commie dumped Fen in the chair and collapsed on the floor beside Tenkei and across from Daigong and Sev, the latter two who were having some perverted conversation about bunny rabbits ('Don't ask, don't tell' was ComFen's motto for cases like this).
"AIBUTT!" Fen screamed.
Commie freaked out, jumped up, and screamed for her mother. Everyone else was not such a spazz. Com sat back down and was angered by the fact that nobody else was weirded out by Fen's strange behaviour. In fact, they seemed to encourage it.
"AIBUTT!" Dinny echoed several minutes later, Commie reacting in the same way as before.
"TENBUTT!" Teneki yelled in Commie's ear.
"AAAAAAAAH!!" Commie screamed, running out of the hallway.
"What's her problem?" Ping asked, cradling his JPH!P microphone tenderly.
Fen shrugged.
"Too much sugar, not enough, small brain size, ... Take your pick."
"All of the above," Daigong laughed. "But meh, we all know Aussies are a little weird in the head."
Dave cleared his throat.
"Except you, man," Daigong amended, punching the Tron in the shoulder.
"But Commie's not-" Davetron began, but was interrupted by a Pink Power Ranger cosplayer walking by.
Most of the JPH!P crowd started drooling automatically.
Pursuit was given, and while photos were snapped, Fen sat in her chair alone with a pout while Commie rocked herself into a calmed state in a quiet corner of the Convention Center.
The ComFen duo was separated, and separate meant weaker. What would happen?! Would Fen be able to drive? Would there be a three person slumber party? Would the Hipsters dine at In 'n Out? Would Commie's supposedly perfect scenario from the first part of the story ever be explained?
Tablespoon....
-
Tablespoon....
XD :heart: That made my day.
Man, I miss In 'n Out. The South is so deprived of cool things. Wow, 7 chapters already? I guess it's a good thing numbering them. :P
Ummm, chuka chuka chuk, chuka chuka chuk :mon yoyo:
XD
-
"Hey, ComCom. You up for a little in 'n out?" Tenkei asked Commie.
"Excuse me?" Commie asked, taken aback at such a bold request.
awww yeah :pimp: :pimp:
Tenkei nodded, straightening out some papers that had magically appeared in his hands.
"I'll call for a shareholders' meeting tomorrow and let them know they should bring their ideas to the table," he said in a professional tone.
"Oh, and make sure Clarence is there on time. He's always late," Fen ordered.
"Will do, Fun- er, Fen," Ten acknowledged.
sounds like something i'd do lol
If Ten slept over, it'd have to be ComFen versus TenTen, because boys have cooties.
I vote for this plan, next time \o/
-
7: Feet Aibutts Chips HDDs Commies
*FEN GIVES DIRECTIONS TO WOTA*
Cartwheeling? :lol:
And awwwwwwwwwww poor Commie didn't get any wota-wub? :(
We have to find Miki-sama and see what she knows."
Commie sat down on the floor beside Fen's chair and they did some thinking.
"She's probably not going to come to us willingly. Otherwise, she would have already made contact," Commie said.
"Right," Fen agreed, a smile starting to spread across her face as a plan formed in her mind. "So what we need is bait."
Oooooooooooooooooooooo...a plot to capture Miki-sama? :w00t:
"What does Miki-sama love more than anything else in the world, Commie?" Fen asked, her answer clearly already in mind.
"Er..." Commie hummed, trying to decide the answer out of the ten choices she thought of off the top of her head. "Meat?"
"No, dummy," Fen said, inevitably giving Commie a smack in her head. "Molestation!"
Oshit this sounds like it's going to be...interesting, to say the least. :P2
"Let's go find the rest of the gang. JPH!P's waiting to see us," Fen said.
ComTron began to march towards the exit when Fen called out.
"Excuse me! Forgetting something?"
ComTron turned around and saw Fen sitting helplessly in the chair, pointing at her legs and looking at Commie pointedly. Commie groaned inwardly as she walked back to the chair. Fen raised both arms out straight and looked at Commie expectantly. With a sigh, Commie did what she had to do.
Commie = "Yes, I'm a'comin' Miss Daisy Fenfen."
Dare I ask why Dave's just standing by while Commie has to be the Fen-Haul? Is it because he's not as easy to snuggle into? :-X
I have NO idea where that last bit came from, BTW.
Commie placed Fen down on another conveniently placed chair outside the registration hall and ComTron sat on the floor, waiting for Hipsters to start gathering. Sure enough, they came by one by one.
And now the members of the forum. Starring... Commie!
Theeeere was Tenkei and Daigong and Dinny and Tris-chan and Mugen, KT, Ping, and Sev.
And the song is over because while Warner had the patience to write a song about the countries of the world for Yakko, Commie does not have the patience to write a song about the members of JPH!P for Commie.
Was I supposed to mentally picture the "lyrics" being sung to the opening lines of "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer"?
:on lol:
*RANDOM HiPSTER TALK*
Yeah, that about sums us up. :P
"Hey, ComCom. You up for a little in 'n out?" Tenkei asked Commie.
"Excuse me?" Commie asked, taken aback at such a bold request.
"It's a fast food restaurant, Commie," Fen clarified before punches were thrown.
"Oooohh," Commie cried out loudly in relief. "I knew that. Sorry. Mind somewhere else."
Oh, you naughty girl you with your naughty thoughts. :grin:
"I need to go to the washroom!" Fen announced.
Commie jumped up.
"I'll take you!"
Fen gave Commie a mischievous look, and tears slid down Commie's cheeks as she remembered what moving Fen entailed.
OSHIT! :rofl:
Possibly LITERALLY!
:wahaha:
"Comfess your sins? What is this? Stroking Commie's Ego Day?" Fen ranted angrily. "So everything that starts with 'con' gets to turn into your name? What about my name, huh? How about every time we want to say 'fun', we say 'Fen' instead?"
"Uh, so, if I wanted to say 'I'm gonna have fun tonight', I'd have to say 'I'm gonna have Fen tonight'?" Daigong asked, looking rather pleased with himself.
Everyone in the group snickered while Fen re-evaluated her idea.
I propose that we should make a declaration in the HiPtionary that instead of saying/typing"fun," everyone must now refer to it as "Fen". :twisted:
"I'll call for a shareholders' meeting tomorrow and let them know they should bring their ideas to the table," he said in a professional tone.
"Oh, and make sure Clarence is there on time. He's always late," Fen ordered.
Who the fuck is Clarence, and why is he still on the shareholders board if, as Fen says, he's always late?
:dunno:
"So anyway," Fen said, "Let's Washroom!"
Commie nodded slowly, and doing what she had to do, the two made their way to the washroom on one set of legs.
Fen = :cool1:
Commie = :badluck:
In the washroom, Fen sat on a conveniently placed chair and Commie yanki squatted beside her.
"I..." Fen began, "...can't even remember why we're here."
Commie almost fell down.
Dammit. Just when you could REALLY use a GIF of Japanese comedians stumbling due to a really "samui" joke.... :smhid
"Never mind. Here are our options. First option: we get Dave to drive and pray we don't get pulled over by super hot LA cops."
Would it have mattered if it were super hot female LA cops? 8)2
"Second option: we get Dinny or Tenkei to drive us and then have whoever it is stay over with us."
Slumber party fun certainly sounded nice. Plus if ComDin could gang up on Fen, life would be awesome.
Can't go wrong with any combination of ComFenDin...ComDinFen? DinComFen?
Bah...whatever. Like I said...'twould be awesome. :rockon:
If Ten slept over, it'd have to be ComFen versus TenTen, because boys have cooties.
TenTen? Since when was Aichan there? O0
"Third and final option: we wait a while, and if my legs are feeling better, I'll be able to drive us back."
Probably the most convenient of the options, though perhaps not the safest should Fen's legs cramp up in mid drive.
Car doesn't have cruise control?
"We have not explored a fourth option," Commie pointed out.
"Oh? What's the fourth option?" Fen asked, all ears.
"I drive!"
:shocked
There was a moment of terrifying silence, and the two imagined what would happen if Commie was allowed behind the wheel....
:on blackhole:
"AIBUTT!" Fen screamed.
Commie freaked out, jumped up, and screamed for her mother. Everyone else was not such a spazz. Com sat back down and was angered by the fact that nobody else was weirded out by Fen's strange behaviour. In fact, they seemed to encourage it.
"AIBUTT!" Dinny echoed several minutes later, Commie reacting in the same way as before.
In hindsight, I'm surprised we didn't do that more during the actual trip. :doh:
"TENBUTT!" Teneki yelled in Commie's ear.
Love 10k and all, but yeah, in a no-homo way.
"AAAAAAAAH!!" Commie screamed, running out of the hallway.
"What's her problem?" Ping asked, cradling his JPH!P microphone tenderly.
Fen shrugged.
"Too much sugar, not enough, small brain size, ... Take your pick."
"All of the above," Daigong laughed. "But meh, we all know Aussies are a little weird in the head."
Someone make sure that dai know to read this part of this chapter.
:mon lol:
"But Commie's not-" Davetron began, but was interrupted by a Pink Power Ranger cosplayer walking by.
Most of the JPH!P crowd started drooling automatically.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm...leave the helmet on baby. :drool:
The ComFen duo was separated, and separate meant weaker. What would happen?! Would Fen be able to drive? Would there be a three person slumber party? Would the Hipsters dine at In 'n Out? Would Commie's supposedly perfect scenario from the first part of the story ever be explained?
DUN......DUN.....DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!
-
ROFL.
In'n'Out... Such a perverted mind Commie! :P
FunFen, FenFun! But no, just Fen will do. XD No need to change everything to Fen unlike another egotistical member we have here... :roll:
Using molestation to lure Miki into our grasp... mmmm, I like that idea. :P Commie shall be bait. XD
And yes, all Aussies are weird in the head. :P
Lastly, Commie did get some wota-wub. She got to direct them to where to pick up their guide books and bags. XD
-
And yes, all Aussies are weird in the head. :P
:tama-mad:
and how many aussies do you know?
-
ROFL, voice of an angel? XD But I always knew that Dostoyevsky fucker would use me! I should sue! XD
Comfess to me, commie~ XD
-
Whee, tanks, guyz. Sorry it's all, like... filler. Filler before the pie crust. Hmm. JFC, get those emoticons ready!
tenten <ddd. Tris-chan: Dostoyevsky's not good enough for you. Sue sue sue!! *leans one arm on e-girl's head and the other arm on Fen's head* Ahhhhhh. Now we need a pair for Dave.
8: The Three Key Moles and Eight Trap (Does She Even Have a Work Visa?)
The dynamic duo could not stay separated for long. Commie got bored of sitting in a dark corner, and Fen became impatient sitting on her chair alone. They texted each other simultaneously, each telling the other how they were feeling. Since Fen could not move without assistance, Commie went back to Fen's chair.
Everyone was gone. They had chased after the Pink Power Ranger for some photos, but beyond that, Fen had no idea what they'd gotten up to.
"Looks like our decision has been made for us," Fen said.
Commie looked at her buddy blankly. Fen waved her arms at their surroundings.
"I mean that they've all left, so we're not going to be joining them for dinner tonight."
"Mm," Commie mumbled. "What about Dave? Don't we have to take him to his hotel?"
Fen shrugged. There was not much they could do for Dave until he appeared or called.
"So what was your perfect idea for our Miki molestation trap?" Fen asked Commie, wasting no time getting to business while they had some time alone.
"What Miki molestation trap?" asked a male voice.
Fen looked sharply at Commie, wondering when she'd turned into a boy and acquired an Australian accent. Commie, however, was looking up at the tall, lanky figure of Davetron.
"What Miki molestation trap?" he repeated.
ComFen shared a worried look.
"She said 'three key moles and eight trap'," Commie offered with an air of 'duh, you didn't hear?'
Dave screwed his face up into a frown.
"What's a 'three key moles and eight trap'?"
"A Canadian restaurant!" Fen blurted out, saving Commie from having to give meaning to the useless phrase she had just invented. "Their speciality is, uh, polar bear meat marinated in whale blubber... and moose stewed in maple syrup."
"And the walls are decorated with baby seal skins imported from northern Europe," Commie added with a hint of ironic humour.
Dave grimaced, and ComFen decided that they had successfully suppressed his urge to ask any further questions.
"But dude, where did you go with the Pink Ranger?" Fen asked.
"The who? I went to the washroom and got lost," Dave explained.
Commie and Fen sweatdropped.
"Hey, I live in a small town. We don't have these kinds of huge buildings..."
As he tried to make excuses for his poor sense of direction, Com picked Fen up before she even asked, and they started to head for the car.
"Waaaaaaaaait!" called a familiar voice from the end of the corridor.
ComFenTron turned around to see Dinny approaching them at a sprint. The trio screamed and dove for cover as the insane nut tried to tackle them. The Din somersaulted and jumped back up to her feet (she would have received full points for technique had an Olympic judge team been set up in Convention Center), while ComFenTron lay in individual heaps of pathetic humanity.
"Geez, you guys," DinDin said, rolling her eyes. "Such wimps. I'ma cook you all."
"Didn't you go off chasing the Pink Ranger?" Fen asked, rolling up to sit with her legs straight in front of her.
"Oh, that lasted two seconds," Dinny replied. "I got a bit, uh, caught up before returning here."
There was something suspicious in the way she tried to sound so casual. The fact that her eyes had flickered away towards another group of people briefly as she spoke seemed to Commie a big indicator that the truth was not being told, or at least not fully. Before Com could call foul play on someone she'd just met that morning, Fen spoke up.
"Everyone left, Dinny," she said. "I guess they've gone to eat."
"Hmm, are you guys going? Are you ok to drive?" Din asked.
The trio shook their heads at the first question and Fen nodded hers at the second.
"I think I'll be all right," she said, rubbing her calves.
"Well, I gots ta drop sturf off at my hotel. Think I could hitch a ride with you till there?" Din asked.
Suspicious, Commie thought with narrowed eyes. Or perhaps it was just her imagination getting away with her. The looming danger of GAM was weighing heavily on her mind.
"Sure!" Fen grinned. "Actually, we'll get you to drive there in my car."
"Good idea," Commie nodded with approval.
Everyone had an ulterior motive. Dinny was up to something and needed prolonged contact with ComFenTron, Fen was getting some free rest time in her car, Commie was keeping her eye on the suspicious Dinny, and Dave... well, he had no easily discernible motive, though there must have been something there hidden by years of practiced stealth methods. After all, the Nepalese intelligence agency had also hired him for a job once...
"It's settled then," Dinny said... a little too quickly and happily.
Fen was now able to hobble with assistance, so Commie had transformed from crane to walking stick. They looked like partners in a three-legged race, and after a few metres, they settled into a comfortable rhythm that they hoped would only be broken when they got to Fen's car. ComFenDinTron (which can also be called "a Transformer with a medical disorder") walked and hobbled to the parking lot. They each assumed proper seats once at Fen's car. Din adjusted the driver's seat to her liking, Fen all but passed out in the front passenger's seat, and ComTron took over the back seats.
"Buckle up!" Dinny barked at the occupants of the car.
It is unsure who was the first to accomplish the task, but let it be known that there was never a car full of people that buckled up more quickly than that car. Fenthority was one thing, but the risk of inciting Dinnibalistic punishment was all sorts of another kind of scary.
Dinny rev2hded the engine, and they shot out of the parking lot, hitting eight pylons, three pedestrians, and spilling several bins of trash before reaching the street. Fen looked completely relaxed. ComTron were gripping the back seats, knuckles white, faces frozen into we're-trying-to-be-cool-but-are-freaked-the-crap-out smiles.
"DJ!" Fen cried out excitedly. "Put it back on!"
Fate and destiny wove together a path for Dinny, and so she knew that when she hit play on the car's stereo system, the CD would be set at the right track, and their anthem would start to blare from the speakers.
"Soyuz nerushimy respublik svobodnykh, splotila naveki velikaya Rus'~~"
"COMMIE!!" FenDinTron hollered, all turning around to glare at Commie.
"Ehehe... Sorry, dunno how my Red Russian Army Choir CD got in there," Commie apologised, laughing nervously and reaching towards the front to fix the error in the system.
As she did so, she noticed something in Dinny's left hand.
"What's that?" Commie asked curiously, ejecting her CD and making sure Fen's CD was back in.
"Huh?" Din asked, lowering her left hand beside her leg so that Commie couldn't see it anymore.
"Your left hand," Commie said, pointing.
"Just my phone," Dinny replied casually, lifting her hand again and proving her words to Commie.
"Oh," Commie smiled, frowning inwardly.
She could have sworn that was not what Dinny had been holding before she'd lowered her hand. Commie sat back down, and this time when "Play" was pressed, the proper song started up. Much embarrassing dancing in the form of bouncing occurred, and the camera panned up towards three giant Final Fantasy billboards to leave ComFenDinTron to their musical bonding.
***
Eight hundred revolutions around the block later, Dinny finally managed to get to her hotel. Commie had been keeping her eyes and ears open the whole time, suspicion burning inside her every time Dinny "accidentally" turned at the wrong corner or found herself faced with a one way street going an inconvenient way. When Dinny finally stopped, everyone got out of the car.
"Thanks, Fen Jr.," Fen Sr. said bouncily as she took over the driver's seat.
"See you tomorrow, Dinny," Commie said politely, getting into the front passenger's seat.
"Cheers, Din," waved Davetron.
"I'll shoot you a message tomorrow morning," Din said with a wave.
Once Din had disappeared into her building, Commie let out a sigh of relief, Fen buckled up, and Tron fell asleep in the back because he was still on Australian time.
"Now to find the freeway entrance," Fen said, re-adjusting her mirrors and seat.
"You mean you don't know how to get onto the freeway from here?" Commie asked.
"Er, no, I didn't say that," Fen replied, gently merging her car with the rest of traffic. "I just, uh, need to get our bearings."
"We're doomed," mumbled Commie.
"Shh!" Fen ordered, slapping Commie on the back of the head without even looking (the action had become second nature to her, so it was easy to do without looking).
Somehow, after twelve more rounds around the block, Fen figured out how to get to the freeway, and they were soon off, speeding down the highway while doing the Gee crab dance.
"So what do you guys wanna do about dinner? I suggest we just stop somewhere and get take out."
Commie agreed with Fen's idea, and Dave had woken up briefly to nod his ascent. The drive back to Fen's 'hood was uneventful in that there were no disasters or traffic accidents. There was plenty of bouncy dancing, and at one point, ComTron had taken out their cameras and had videotaped the goings on inside and outside the car. After forty minutes, they pulled into an In 'n Out. Fen tried to explain the menu to ComTron as they went from the parking lot to the shop, but all she got for her trouble was Commie trying to be deep and philosophical.
"So if there's no real menu written, how did the first customer know what to get? And how would the second and third and fourth customer know? And the fifth and sixth and se-"
This time Fen tackled Commie to the ground, turned her onto her stomach, and rubbed her face in a gravelly puddle of car oil.
At that moment, a busload of tourists from Oregon had pulled into the parking lot. They had all gathered at the window to watch the fight, snapping pictures every few seconds. Tron could have sworn he heard the tour guide addressing her group, saying,
"... and as you can see, the locals are quite a rowdy bunch in this part of California, not unlike young miners on break in a nineteenth century Irish pub..."
He tried to blend in with the shadows so that the guide wouldn't come up with anything creative (and entirely wrong) to say about him.
"Uncle!!!" cried out Commie, and Fen showed mercy, ending the fight.
"FOOD," Dave grunted, and ComFen quickly brushed their clothes off so that the three could walk calmly into the restaurant.
They were ready to order right when they got to the counter, and soon enough, they were waiting for their food to be prepared. ComTron had ordered drinks, so they went to fill up their eight gallon cups with juice and pop. Fen stood alone at the counter, mindlessly staring forward as the In 'n Out employees bustled about, cooking, packing, and chatting. Her trance-like state was a somewhat floomy one - a bit on the blue side, but easy to break out of. It was because of this floominess that what passed in front of her eyes snapped her out of the prison of her mind.
"What the..." she hissed under her breath, leaning against the counter to get a good look at one of the employees who was adding salt to the fries. "That's..."
Unless her eyes were playing horrendous tricks on her, that employee was none other than Miki-sama. Fen wanted to call out to her or jump over the counter to confront her, but the shock had led to temporary paralysis. All she could manage was a bubbling sound, not unlike the unintelligible mumblings of a 6 month old baby.
"Yo, Fen!" Commie cried out, slapping Fen heartily on the back.
Fen lost her balance and fell forward. She was in no danger, though, since she was already leaning against the counter, her arms sturdy in front of her. She pushed herself back up with a huff and tried to catch sight of her target again.
Miki-sama was gone.
She scanned the entire kitchen area, but she could see nobody resembling Miki-sama. The area where the fries were being cooked was empty, the can of salt placed haphazardly at the edge of the sink.
"Commie," Fen said in a voice full of pain, shock, and anger. "I just saw Miki-sama working here."
"Huh?!"
Fen sighed. It was the reaction she'd expected. She grabbed Commie's wrist and pulled her towards the washroom, signalling to Davetron to pick up their food. ComFen took up positions by the sink in order to have A Serious Conversation. Fen explained exactly what she'd seen, but Commie just chuckled.
"I think we're just tired out from the long day. You hafta admit that we're also a bit paranoid. I mean, when you think about something the entire day, you're gonna eventually start seeing it everywhere you look."
Fen shut her eyes tightly and shook her head, each shake a little stronger and faster than the last.
"No, no, no!" she insisted. "I saw Miki-sama with my own eyes. I swear it was her, Commie. I swear it."
"But Fen, think about it," Commie tried to reason. "Miki-sama couldn't possibly have jumped off the plane and gotten a job just like that. She probably doesn't even have a work visa."
"Um, hello? This is California," Fen reminded Commie.
It was a good point.
"Er, ok, but I doubt she'd just leave her perfectly good job in Japan."
"Perfectly good job?"
"Uh, yeah..." Commie nodded cautiously.
"Have you seen her stuff recently?" Fen questioned her.
"Ah, well, no..."
"Exactly my point."
Yes, another good point. Indeed. Maybe salting fries in the outskirts of Los Angeles was better than whatever she was (or wasn't) doing for her career in Tokyo.
"But still," Commie said, squirming uncomfortably. "Just because things aren't so good over there, it doesn't mean she's working at this In 'n Out, which just happens to be close to where you live."
Fen threw her hands up in the air.
"Fiiiine, don't believe me. But you'll see."
The two glared at each other. Two minutes passed by, and almost simultaneously, ComFen's faces reverted to their normal expressions of content.
"Think we should leave the washroom now?" Fen asked politely, as if nothing had just transpired.
"Yes! I'm hungry!"
Dave had picked up the food and was waiting for ComFen. He mumbled something about the food getting cold, but Fen was too busy looking behind the counter to try and find Miki-sama. Commie sighed, and the three returned to the car.
"Commie?" Fen asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.
"Hmm?"
"Put it back on!"
And these 3 little piggies went "gee gee gee" all the way home.
Measuring Cup.........
-
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUNNNN~!!!!!
What is Dinny up to?!!! Is she a villian??? Part of Ayaya's great plot?! *gasp!*
"A Canadian restaurant!" Fen blurted out, saving Commie from having to give meaning to the useless phrase she had just invented. "Their speciality is, uh, polar bear meat marinated in whale blubber... and moose stewed in maple syrup."
"And the walls are decorated with baby seal skins imported from northern Europe," Commie added with a hint of ironic humour.
Sounds like a place I want to go try out while in Canada. XD XD
FLOOMY~!!!! :heart:
-
Lmao, then you can tell your mom, "Commie made me eat more strange things!!" :lol: You'll have to wait to find out what the heck Dinny is up to and whether she's in on some nefarious plot with Ayaya... :0
9: Does She Even Have a Work Visa? II
Dave was dropped off at his hotel, and ComFen drove home in a bit of a daze. The end of the day had heralded new questions and no conclusions. After eating, showering, and changing into pyjamas, the awesome duo sat in Fen's room looking up reports and videos on the various H!P forums at their disposal. They kept an eye out for any mention of seeing Miki, and they analysed every video and photo from the airport greeting. To their dismay, they could find no literary or visual evidence that what they'd seen and experienced was reality.
"Well, we couldn't have both hit our heads and hallucinated at the same time," Commie pointed out.
"Uh, except it coulda been the same thing as that one time in Cambodia with the magic sorcerer in the cave and the ten pregnant wombats," Fen reminded her.
"Yes, Fen," Commie smiled nervously, "but we're not supposed to talk about that anymore, remember...?"
A minute of worried silence ensued. There was a one hundred year blackout period on any information pertaining to that incident, and if the KGB ever found out ComFen had mentioned it aloud even in private, the duo would have some very angry Orwellians on their hands.
"Uh, so, anyway..."
"Anyway... Nice posters!"
The next thing they did to try and forget their Cambodian campaign was to jump onto the IRC channel and goof around. In a fit of excitement, Commie pushed Fen aside and assumed control of the keyboard in order to chat with JPH!P people who somehow knew her name despite her meagre post count. Fen accepted this situation as The Order Of Things (one must respect one's elders, after all), and she sat on the floor, looking through her H!P photos and PBs like a kid organising her Halloween candy.
"So, Fen," Commie started conversationally from the computer, typing away furiously. "I have this idea."
"Oh, right. The trap. What's your idea?"
"Well... Oh, look, TOZ has logged in, which is neat, cool, and awesome, and I was thinking of using you as the bait for the Miki trap since you can't walk on your own, and hey, TenTen's online, too, which is awesome, great, and cool, and I've gotta say hi to him!"
"Mmhmm," Fen nodded, staring at pictures of Aibutt, pink fluff head, and turtle girl.
Commie wiped an imaginary drop of sweat off her forehead, and she continued to chat online, grateful that Fen had accepted the plan.
"So tomorrow, ok? When we get there in the morning, we'll set you up in a situation, and hey, JFC! Long time no see! And then I'll wait around the corner, and oh my god, what the hell is up with Flyp?!"
Fen just continued to nod and hum in agreement, staring at cheek head, ginormous eyes, and banana girl. Her eyes started to close in exhaustion.
"And don't forget to do your stretches!" Commie reminded Fen. "Gotta get those legs better so that we can drive tomorrow. I have a feeling it's going to be a busy day."
When no reply came, Commie looked back. She saw Fen with her head bent down, fast asleep, photos falling out of her hands. Commie logged off the computer, switched the power off, and pushed the chair back in. She then grabbed Fen under the armpits and dragged the oblivious girl onto her bed, tucking her in like a good mommy- er, Commie.
"You silly weirdo," Commie mumbled.
She turned out the light and went to her own room to sleep. Tomorrow would indeed be a big day.
*****
Arr aroo arooooooo!
Imaginary roosters woke the girls up at six-thirty in the morning. Commie was a morning person, plus her jetlag worked to her advantage, so she was up and about with a smile. Fen, on the other hand, looked miserable.
"Commie, take this hairbrush and hit me in the head until I'm unconscious," she pleaded.
Commie took the hairbrush and bashed Fen in the head, but not hard enough to cause unconsciousness.
"Come on, you bum. Today is Day One!"
"Tgmasf qekjnwrg qeoihqaeg olkieqng," Fen mumbled incoherently under her breath, and she dragged her sorry self back to her room to get dressed.
"Arrrg, what should I wear?!?!"
Commie smirked at the girl as she sat in her room and messaged Dave, telling him to bring a banana from his hotel.
Breakfast was a quick ordeal, and after some imaginary radio calisthenics, the duo took off.
"DJ, put it b-"
"I know, I know," Fen grumbled, still a bit sleepy.
She hit play, and "Genie" started up.
The two were suddenly fluent in Korean, and they sang (Commie hyper-style, Fen half-heartedly) all the way to the freeway. Traffic wasn't too bad. It could have been better, but they weren't going to complain. Commie desperately wanted to bring up the subject of the Miki molestation trap, but she was afraid that Fen hadn't been quite paying attention the previous night. She had a bad feeling Fen would veto the plan and then probably make Commie the bait. She held her tongue and decided to let Fen at least wake up a little so that she wasn't in as bad a mood when the news was broken. Fen, being the awesomely awesome girl that she is, woke up and became cheerful as ever. "Gee" really helped for that.
"Oh," Fen piped up as the two were driving down a particularly empty stretch of freeway. "Estrea says hi, by the way."
"Who?" Commie asked, drawing a blank.
"Er, Estrea...? You know... Pirates...? Fanfics...?"
"Oh... Estrea?"
Fen shrugged and nodded.
"Is that how you say her name? Estrea?" Commie asked in disbelief.
"Uh... I... guess...?"
"Oh," Commie sighed. "All this time I thought it was pronounced the same as 'star' in Spanish."
Fen rolled her eyes.
"You and your frickin' Spanish."
Commie made a long face, and as they drove past an exit to Avenida Estrella, "Genie" once again engulfed the car.
They continued to listen to music for another ten minutes when suddenly Fen swore and swerved. Commie grabbed the handle above the window and looked at Fen in fright before receiving an explanation.
"We forgot to pick up Dave!!!"
"Oh... motherfu-"
Twenty minutes later, Davetron sat in the back of the car.
"Sorry we're late," Fen apologised as Dave sulked.
"Yeah. We, uh, slept in," Commie explained.
It had been decided silently to simply lie, lie, lie.
Dave quickly forgot his anger and fell asleep. Commie took out her camera and started filming their trip down the freeway. It was about five minutes into the video when Commie suddenly screamed at something she saw.
"What?!" Fen asked in an exasperated tone.
"Not another cheesecake!" Dave cried out, waking himself up.
Commie looked back at Dave, looked at Fen, looked at Dave again, and grimaced at Fen. She then looked out at a delivery truck that was to the left and just pulling ahead.
"Fen," Commie said in a loud voice, "I think that delivery truck is full of... umm... illegally working Mexican immigrants."
She thought that given their conversation the previous night, the hint might be obvious enough. Perhaps politically touchy, but it got the job done.
"Huh? How do you know?" Fen asked, frowning.
"Because," Commie continued, this time a slightly annoyed hiss mixing in with her fake and loud tone. "I can see a man with a name tag that says 'Miguel', and a woman with the name tag 'Joaquina'."
Dave and Fen started at her.
"What the hell, Commie. That doesn't mean they're Mexican, immigrants, or illegal!" Fen chastised her.
"You've watched too many movies," Dave laughed.
"No, I'm serious. Just look, Fen. You'll see what I mean."
But Fen refused to look, and Commie was helpless in the matter of figuring out how, without alerting Dave, to tell Fen that she had just spotted Miki driving that delivery truck.
"Just look at the goddamned truck, Fen!!!!!"
Commie grabbed the steering wheel and jerked it to the left, which really succeeded in doing nothing but almost get them killed. Fen gained back control and started smacking Commie repeatedly with her free hand.
"Don't you ever ever ever do that again!!" she roared.
Put in her place but still not happy about her hint being completely lost on Fen, Commie sat in silence, keeping an eye on the delivery truck. It pulled farther and farther away, until it was a speck on the distance horizon of LA traffic. It then disappeared over a hill, and with it went the Duo's last chance at taking a pre-emptive strike at a problem that was just about to become way more complicated and difficult than they could ever imagine.
Teaspoon...
-
Whee, tanks, guyz.
Say whut? (http://tiny.cc/Saywhut)
JFC, get those emoticons ready!
HAI! Commie-sama! :bow:
8: The Three Key Moles and Eight Trap (Does She Even Have a Work Visa?)
The dynamic duo could not stay separated for long. Commie got bored of sitting in a dark corner, and Fen became impatient sitting on her chair alone. They texted each other simultaneously, each telling the other how they were feeling.
Awwwwwwwww... :oops:
Everyone was gone. They had chased after the Pink Power Ranger for some photos, but beyond that, Fen had no idea what they'd gotten up to.
Ummm...yeah...photos. :ph43r:
"So what was your perfect idea for our Miki molestation trap?" Fen asked Commie, wasting no time getting to business while they had some time alone.
"What Miki molestation trap?" asked a male voice.
Fen looked sharply at Commie, wondering when she'd turned into a boy and acquired an Australian accent. Commie, however, was looking up at the tall, lanky figure of Davetron.
"What Miki molestation trap?" he repeated.
ComFen shared a worried look.
Oops. :O
"She said 'three key moles and eight trap'," Commie offered with an air of 'duh, you didn't hear?'
Dave screwed his face up into a frown.
"What's a 'three key moles and eight trap'?"
"A Canadian restaurant!" Fen blurted out, saving Commie from having to give meaning to the useless phrase she had just invented. "Their speciality is, uh, polar bear meat marinated in whale blubber... and moose stewed in maple syrup."
...
Dave grimaced, and ComFen decided that they had successfully suppressed his urge to ask any further questions.
Well duh! Those be Canada's national dishes, don'cha know? Can't beat the Maple Moose at Canadian Tanksgiving. Have a back-load of dat wit sum Berry Ocky? That's e'en better den comin' back t'shore wit a batty o' codfish. :canada:
...
/me stops talking like a Newfie.
"But dude, where did you go with the Pink Ranger?" Fen asked.
"The who? I went to the washroom and got lost," Dave explained.
Commie and Fen sweatdropped.
Dave = :mon sweat:
ComFen = :mon huh: :mon huh:
"Hey, I live in a small town. We don't have these kinds of huge buildings..."
We have to remember that not only does Dave live in the boonies, he lives in the boonies of the Outback (fuck I've always wanted to say I knew someone who lived "in the Outback" :lol: ), and as such, is not used to seeing multiple toilets in a single bathroom (seeing as how your average outhouse is only big enough for one hole in the ground). Still, someone could have saved him a lot of grief and told him that he wasn't suddenly in another room when he exited the stall and suddenly found himself facing a row of handwashing sinks. O0
/me looks for a hiding place from Davetron.
"Waaaaaaaaait!" called a familiar voice from the end of the corridor.
ComFenTron turned around to see Dinny approaching them at a sprint. The trio screamed and dove for cover as the insane nut tried to tackle them. The Din somersaulted and jumped back up to her feet (she would have received full points for technique had an Olympic judge team been set up in Convention Center), while ComFenTron lay in individual heaps of pathetic humanity.
"Geez, you guys," DinDin said, rolling her eyes. "Such wimps. I'ma cook you all."
I like it rare, please. Medium rare at the very most. :)2
"Didn't you go off chasing the Pink Ranger?" Fen asked, rolling up to sit with her legs straight in front of her.
"Oh, that lasted two seconds," Dinny replied. "I got a bit, uh, caught up before returning here."
Orly now? How interesting. :joker
"Well, I gots ta drop sturf off at my hotel. Think I could hitch a ride with you till there?" Din asked.
Suspicious, Commie thought with narrowed eyes.
Dinny = :gmon sing:
Commie = :mon suspect:
"Sure!" Fen grinned. "Actually, we'll get you to drive there in my car."
"Good idea," Commie nodded with approval.
Dinny driving? Are we sure about this being a good idea?
At the very least you probably shouldn't let her actually park the car...unless of course you're in the mood for...um...sushi. (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=9979.msg572048#msg572048) :P
Dave... well, he had no easily discernible motive, though there must have been something there hidden by years of practiced stealth methods. After all, the Nepalese intelligence agency had also hired him for a job once...
And this...ladies and germs...is why Nepalese intelligence agency faelz.
/me ducks to avoid Aussie bricks that mysteriously start flying through the air.
ComFenDinTron (which can also be called "a Transformer with a medical disorder") walked and hobbled to the parking lot.
Awesome combo names are awesome! XD
Fenthaurity was one thing, but the risk of inciting Dinnibalistic punishment was all sorts of another kind of scary.
Shit, where's that H!Ptionary again? :yep:
Dinny rev2hded the engine, and they shot out of the parking lot, hitting eight pylons, three pedestrians, and spilling several bins of trash before reaching the street. Fen looked completely relaxed. ComTron were gripping the back seats, knuckles white, faces frozen into we're-trying-to-be-cool-but-are-freaked-the-crap-out smiles.
Dinny = :mon pumped:
Fen = :hee:
ComTron = :mon curtain: :mon curtain:
Fate and destiny wove together a path for Dinny, and so she knew that when she hit play on the car's stereo system, the CD would be set at the right track, and their anthem would start to blare from the speakers.
"Soyuz nerushimy respublik svobodnykh, splotila naveki velikaya Rus'~~"
IN SOVIET RUSSIA, CD PLAYS YOU! :cow:
How the hell did that disc get into Fen's car in the first place?
:?
she noticed something in Dinny's left hand.
"What's that?" Commie asked curiously, ejecting her CD and making sure Fen's CD was back in.
"Huh?" Din asked, lowering her left hand beside her leg so that Commie couldn't see it anymore.
"Your left hand," Commie said, pointing.
"Just my phone," Dinny replied casually, lifting her hand again and proving her words to Commie.
"Oh," Commie smiled, frowning inwardly.
She could have sworn that was not what Dinny had been holding before she'd lowered her hand.
/me sticks his lower-jaw out ala Antonio Inoki, breathes out slowly through his nose, raises an eyebrow and goes "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."
:pig huh:
"Now to find the freeway entrance," Fen said, re-adjusting her mirrors and seat.
"You mean you don't know how to get onto the freeway from here?" Commie asked.
"Er, no, I didn't say that," Fen replied, gently merging her car with the rest of traffic. "I just, uh, need to get our bearings."
"We're doomed," mumbled Commie.
Fen = :gmon bye:
Commie = :gmon blonde:
Fen = :bingo:
Commie = :on polter:
Davetron = :sleep:
"Shh!" Fen ordered, slapping Commie on the back of the head without even looking (the action had become second nature to her, so it was easy to do without looking).
Driving Fen --> :trout: <-- Riding Com
The drive back to Fen's 'hood was uneventful in that there were no disasters or traffic accidents. There was plenty of bouncy dancing, and at one point, ComTron had taken out their cameras and had videotaped the goings on inside and outside the car.
Proof of video or it never happened! :shakeit:
"So what do you guys wanna do about dinner? I suggest we just stop somewhere and get take out."
Commie agreed with Fen's idea, and Dave had woken up briefly to nod his ascent.
...
After forty minutes, they pulled into an In 'n Out.
So Commie was ok with a little In 'n Out before bed, eh? :twisted:
*COMFEN PARKING LOT WRASSLIN' FEDERATION*
Hell yeah. To hell with pictures, if I were one of those tourists I'd have switched the camera to video mode. :drool:
Fen stood alone at the counter, mindlessly staring forward as the In 'n Out employees bustled about, cooking, packing, and chatting. Her trance-like state was a somewhat floomy one - a bit on the blue side, but easy to break out of.
Floomy (http://tiny.cc/aQPwk)? :huhuh
It was because of this floominess that what passed in front of her eyes snapped her out of the prison of her mind.
"What the..." she hissed under her breath, leaning against the counter to get a good look at one of the employees who was adding salt to the fries. "That's..."
Unless her eyes were playing horrendous tricks on her, that employee was none other than Miki-sama.
WTF, don't tell me Kemeko was giving Miki-sama job advice? :shocked
"Yo, Fen!" Commie cried out, slapping Fen heartily on the back.
Fen lost her balance and fell forward. She was in no danger, though, since she was already leaning against the counter, her arms sturdy in front of her. She pushed herself back up with a huff and tried to catch sight of her target again.
Miki-sama was gone.
She scanned the entire kitchen area, but she could see nobody resembling Miki-sama. The area where the fries were being cooked was empty, the can of salt placed haphazardly at the edge of the sink.
:doh:
"But Fen, think about it," Commie tried to reason. "Miki-sama couldn't possibly have jumped off the plane and gotten a job just like that. She probably doesn't even have a work visa."
"Um, hello? This is California," Fen reminded Commie.
It was a good point.
Indeed. :theking
the three returned to the car.
"Commie?" Fen asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.
"Hmm?"
"Put it back on!"
And these 3 little piggies went "gee gee gee" all the way home.
Wait, I thought you said you guys were eating burgers...not crab.
/me runs for cover.
9: Does She Even Have a Work Visa? II
ComFen drove home in a bit of a daze. The end of the day had heralded new questions and no conclusions. After eating, showering, and changing into pyjamas
All of it together?
:wahaha: :hump:
"Uh, except it coulda been the same thing as that one time in Cambodia with the magic sorcerer in the cave and the ten pregnant wombats," Fen reminded her.
"Yes, Fen," Commie smiled nervously, "but we're not supposed to talk about that anymore, remember...?"
A minute of worried silence ensued. There was a one hundred year blackout period on any information pertaining to that incident, and if the KGB ever found out ComFen had mentioned it aloud even in private, the duo would have some very angry Orwellians on their hands.
Man, interesting shit happens in Cambodia.
"So, Fen," Commie started conversationally from the computer, typing away furiously. "I have this idea."
"Oh, right. The trap. What's your idea?"
"Well... Oh, look, TOZ has logged in, which is neat, cool, and awesome, and I was thinking of using you as the bait for the Miki trap since you can't walk on your own, and hey, TenTen's online, too, which is awesome, great, and cool, and I've gotta say hi to him!"
"Mmhmm," Fen nodded, staring at pictures of Aibutt, pink fluff head, and turtle girl.
Commie wiped an imaginary drop of sweat off her forehead, and she continued to chat online, grateful that Fen had accepted the plan.
*JFC pictures Commie speaking normally during the first part, then quickly in a semi-hushed tone during the middle part, then again normally during the end part, all the while looking out of the corner of her eyes to the bromide pics of AiButt & Co. she conveniently left within Fen's reach for her distraction, diversion...viewing pleasure.
Eeeeeeeexcellent. :pimp:
When no reply came, Commie looked back. She saw Fen with her head bent down, fast asleep, photos falling out of her hands. Commie logged off the computer, switched the power off, and pushed the chair back in. She then grabbed Fen under the armpits and dragged the oblivious girl onto her bed, tucking her in like a good mommy- er, Commie.
What, no Fen sleep-swooning? :-X
*COMFEN IN DA MORNING*
Commie = :onioncheer:
Fen = :mon ghost:
"Oh," Fen piped up as the two were driving down a particularly empty stretch of freeway. "Estrea says hi, by the way."
"Who?" Commie asked, drawing a blank.
"Er, Estrea...? You know... Pirates...? Fanfics...?"
"Oh... Estrea?"
Fen shrugged and nodded.
"Is that how you say her name? Estrea?" Commie asked in disbelief.
"Uh... I... guess...?"
"Oh," Commie sighed. "All this time I thought it was pronounced the same as 'star' in Spanish."
Fen rolled her eyes.
"You and your frickin' Spanish."
Fen's last comment is funny to me because as a Canuck, Commie's studied French in school.
They continued to listen to music for another ten minutes when suddenly Fen swore and swerved. Commie grabbed the handle above the window and looked at Fen in fright before receiving an explanation.
1 point to Fen for getting Commie to grab the "Holy Fuck bar". :thumbsup
"We forgot to pick up Dave!!!"
"Oh... motherfu-"
Twenty minutes later, Davetron sat in the back of the car.
Davetron = :mon cry:
ComFen = :on cny2: :on cny2:
* COMFEN AND "DA TRUCK" *
Wow...just...wow.
:on lol:
Totally lucked out in that the 'tron didn't look up at the truck himself and see who what was to be seen.
Commie sat in silence, keeping an eye on the delivery truck. It pulled farther and farther away, until it was a speck on the distance horizon of LA traffic. It then disappeared over a hill, and with it went the Duo's last chance at taking a pre-emptive strike at a problem that was just about to become way more complicated and difficult than they could ever imagine.
Considering how whacked out Fen's driving has been described, Miki-sama must be absolutely FLOORING it on that truck. :shocked:
Teaspoon...
Pfffft. I don't need no stinking spoon for my tea.
-
Wow, it's a 2 chapters in 1 post comment! ^_^ I love these emoticons.
/me stops talking like a Newfie.
Tee hee hee, it was very amusing, and I can totally picture you talking like that.
Proof of video or it never happened! :shakeit:
LOL, lots of video evidence exists. And you're in it, too!! *sends link*
Considering how whacked out Fen's driving has been described, Miki-sama must be absolutely FLOORING it on that truck. :shocked:
Imagine Miki and Fen in a car. That car would be travelling faster than light. :0
I've changed my approach to this story just a tiny bit. Initially, I wanted to take, like, every single thing that happened and work it into the story. However, it's getting too long and nothing is happening (other than some ridiculous Samuel Beckett-type nothingness XP), and it's probably a bit boring. So of course I'm still gonna keep writing it, but I'm gonna focus more on, um, things happening. :lol: And no, I have not changed any of my ideas for the plot (as in the big picture, whodunit, etc.). ^^ Here is more:
10: Codename wa...
"Subject entering washroom now!" announced a tense voice through an earpiece.
"Roger that," came the whispered reply, hand clasped against said earpiece.
Three seconds of silence.
"Operation Oak Evolution... now!"
A hand shot out, grabbed a handful of shirt, pulled violently... A chair clattered to the floor, two bodies rolled, a dramatic and artsy scene ensued...
"Gotcha!"
"Ahhh!!! Let me go!!!"
"Did you get her, Jupiter?"
"This is Sailor Jupiter. I've got Youma Prime contained, Sailor V. She's taller than I expected."
"Roger that, Jupiter. Sailor V will make the scene in eight seconds."
Eight seconds later, the washroom door was kicked down, and Commie jumped in, slapping her hand down on the light switch. She looked eagerly towards the middle of the room and saw Fen pinning a girl face down on the floor. The captive was struggling and yelling so hysterically that neither could understand a word of what she said.
"We've got you now, Miki-sama!" Commie announced, approaching the mess on the floor.
Fen managed to get her feet on the ground and used all her strength to haul herself and her prisoner up. As she completed this action, it became quite apparent why Fen had had the feeling that Miki-sama was taller than expected.
The prisoner was not Miki-sama.
"Sailor Jupiter, this is not Youma Prime!!" Commie screamed at Fen.
"I'm sorry, Sailor V!" Fen screamed back. "But you're the one who told me that she was entering the washroom!"
"Well, I only saw her from behind. You had the chance to see her from the front!"
"See her?! How could I see anyone in this pitch black room you put me in?!"
"Ug! I've had it with your incompetence!" Commie yelled, throwing her hands up in the air and staring at the slightly frightened-looking girl still in Fen's hold. "And just who the hell are you?!"
One didn't have to look too carefully to see that the girl was shaking.
"I th-th-thought this w-w-was a p-p-public washroom," she stuttered.
Fen let go of the girl with a sound of anger and disgust. The girl bolted for the door before ComFen could tell her to keep her mouth shut.
"Well, that didn't work," Fen spat out bitterly.
"No, it didn't," Commie said, glaring at Fen accusingly. "How do you propose we fix this one?"
"Oh, how would lowly me know?" came the sarcastic retort. "Do you have any more great ideas, oh great master?"
Commie rubbed her hands together and pondered.
"Well, the set up with you wandering into this washroom alone and injured did not seem to attract Miki-sama's attention, so maybe it's time we tried-"
"You!" Fen cried aloud, jumping up and twisting Commie's arm behind her back. "Say you'll do it or I'll break your arm!"
Horrified by this violent Fen, Commie immediately surrendered.
"All right, all right! You can use me as bait," she gasped.
Fen let go, and this time it was her turn to rub her hands together.
"Now come with me," she said, taking Commie gently by the arm. "Let us take care of this before I have to be at work."
They walked out of the washroom with the intent of going to sit in a quiet corner and plan the next trap, but a shocking incident stopped them. Fen bumped into a girl.
"Oh, excuse me," Fen apologised politely.
There came no reply, which struck ComFen as rude. When they both turned their heads to look at the face of the girl with no manners, they were surprised to see her bolt away, running down the corridor like a madman.
"Oh my god, Commie. It's-"
"-Miki-sama!"
ComFen took off like the wind, yelling at slow people in their way to move aside.
"Coming through!!!" Fen screamed at a gathering of Putties.
"I need this!" Com screamed at Rita Repulsa, grabbing her staff with hopes of being able to use it soon to slow down Miki-sama.
Rita shook her fist in the air, screaming at ComFen for disturbing her evil return to Earth. Funny enough, if the girls had had time to look back and observe Rita, they would have noticed something odd about her voice and her mouth, as if the two were a little... off. Out of synch...
"Follow them!" Rita ordered her Putties, and pretty soon a gaggle of hyperactive, shrill men in skin tight grey costumes was chasing ComFen.
The noise alerted Fen, who looked over her shoulder to confirm her fear.
"Sailor V, we've got a tail!" Fen yelled up to Com, who was just ahead of Fen due to being taller and having longer strides.
"Now is not the time to be discussing the vestigial traces of our evolution from monkeys, Sailor Jupiter!" Commie frowned, though making a mental note to schedule a geeky discussion about evolution with Fen at a later date.
"No!" Fen cried out, annoyed. "I mean we have freaking Putties chasing after us!"
Commie looked back and gulped.
"Well we'd better hope-" and here she cut herself off briefly to jump over a small child, "-that we get to Miki-sama first."
Fen punched right through a line of Japanese wota. In fact, they were the same ones she'd met the previous day.
"Sorryyyyy!" she yelled.
Up ahead, Miki had turned a corner and taken the chase into the main entrance, a place that was quickly becoming full of freshly arrived convention goers. The task to capture Miki became even more difficult.
"If I can get a clear view of her," Commie huffed, the running and stress getting to her, "I can knock her down with this staff."
"Don't kill her!!" Fen reminded her.
They were, after all, Miki-sama fans, even if they had not worshipped lately.
Miki twisted around a solitary sign advertising Starbucks coffee and bolted down the front stairs to the main doors.
"Damnit, Miki-samaaaa!!" ComFen cried out.
Without even putting a single thought into it, Commie grabbed Fen with one arm and pulled her to the stairs. She jumped, and the both of them were launched into the air, bypassing the stairs entirely as gravity pulled them down and thus towards the front door.
Miki was just reaching for the door when something fell on her hard.
"OW! My eyeball!!"
"Elbow elbow elboooow!"
"Shit, my kidneys!!"
All was still after that. Activity had completely ceased at the front entrance as anime fans stood in silent horror. Even the Putties had shut up and frozen in their places.
"Is this heaven?" Miki slurred.
She was flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling, and one could see the little birds flying round and round over her line of vision.
"Please let it be," begged Fen.
Fen was lying on top of Miki, also staring and the ceiling. She wanted to kill Com for doing something so stupid.
"Mommy..." Commie sniffled.
Comrade had ended up face down with her head buried in somebody's ribs - possibly Fen's - and was slowly suffocating.
Commie moved first, and once she was up, she offered a hand to Fen, who took it and joined Commie to stand over the dazed Miki.
"Looks like she took the worst of the fall," Fen said, noticing how Miki seemed drifting in and out of consciousness.
Commie had miraculously kept Rita's staff in her hold throughout the jump, and she now pointed it at Miki.
"She's a faker," she declared, seeing right through Miki's age-old trick. "Get up and come with us."
Not wanting to be speared through the torso by a tacky and poorly balanced staff from the nineties, Miki stood up, her arms raised in surrender.
"What do we tell the crowd?" Commie asked Fen out of the corner of her mouth.
Fen turned around to the onlookers.
"And this concludes our special re-enactment of the Impromptu Battle of Jupiter-V from the unaired Sailor Moon Special number eight!" she announced in a cheery voice.
There were three seconds of silence, and Fen practically chewed her tongue off in desperation, hoping that her explanation would convince the crowd.
Then the applause started. It grew louder and louder as cheers and whistles were added in. Even Rita and the Putties stopped and offered their appreciation of a show well done. After exaggerated bows, ComFen whisked Miki away through the front doors.
"That was spectacular!" cried one boy.
"I wonder if they'll do an encore later," mused a girl aloud.
"Huh? I've never heard of an unaired special. Suspicious..." mumbled an Umino cosplayer as he adjusted his swirly glasses (the gesture helped him to think).
Outside, ComFen escorted Miki across the street.
"Over there," Commie said, pointing to a bench. "Let's go sit under those pine trees."
Miki was about to correct Commie's mistake, but Fen made a threatening gesture towards her that basically meant 'If you say a word, I will rip your throat out'. Nobody but Fen corrected or made fun of Commie. Nobody. It was a right Fen was willing to defend to the death. Miki, not one to be easily intimidated, shut the hell up.
The group arrived at the bench and Fen pushed Miki down while the Duo remained standing. It was more menacing that way. Commie stepped forward to start the questioning, but Fen put a hand on her arm.
"Please, Commie. I have a really personal score to settle with her."
Commie nodded and took a step back. Fen cracked her knuckles and advanced upon Miki, limping slightly as a result of her aching calves.
"This is for injecting me with a tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor!!!"
She proceeded to reach behind Miki, grab at her underwear, and tug upwards in order to inflict the most annoying wedgie Miki had ever experience.
"Ahhhhhhiiiiieeeeeeee!!!!!!!"
The screeches of distress could be heard miles away, but the crowds inside the Convention Center brushed it off as practice for the encore performance of the Impromptu Beattle of Jupiter-V.
When Fen was done inflicting pain on Miki, she stepped back.
"Now tell us why you disabled me yesterday with that gun."
Miki, after squirming for a bit, settled down and looked up at Fen.
"You wretched girl. Now I wish I had shot you with it."
?! thought Commie.
Fen narrowed her eyes and inspected Miki's face for telltale signs of lying, but the gut feeling that Miki was telling the truth was only confirmed.
"Then what are you doing sneaking around here? Why are you here? Who shot me?! Why are you working at In 'n Out and driving delivery trucks on the freeway?!"
The questions continued until Miki covered her ears and screamed.
"STOP!"
So Fen stopped, because Mikithority was the only thing that could overpower Fenthority. Miki took a few breathes, and for the next ten minutes, the answers spilled out of her one by one.
Cows Are Tasty...
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ROFL!!!! Sailor Jupiter! Sailor Venus!! I love it. :heart:
And :heart: the random beatings in the bathroom. XD But glad to see we finally caught up with Miki-sama!
Now we can get some answers!!!
(Nice addition of Power Rangers too. XD)
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Hehehe, ya like the Sailor Moon code names, huh? :grin: Well, it was an anime convention, so I had to add in some Sailor and Ranger action. XD
11: This is What Really Happened to Her.
"I'll start my story from the point when we parted ways. You seem to be lacking some information. Then I'll answer your questions," Miki sighed.
FenCom listened intently.
"As you well know, Ayaya kidnapped me from our hotel room in Shin Shirakawa."
FenCom had a flashback for the benefit of the readers who do not remember or did not read the previous FenCom adventure story. This flashback included the following scenes:
FenCom meeting at a midway point between their towns to talk about how Fen saved Rika and Miki from a burning barn and how she and Miki "sang Christmas Carols" in the snow.
Miki running into FenCom at said midway point.
FenCom missing the last shinkansen and splitting a hotel room with a devious Miki.
Several uncomfortable "hands" moments.
Ayaya bursting into the room and kidnapping Miki in a fit of insanity (and jealousy).
FenCom finding out Hotel de Plot Contrivance is actually a series of undercover safehouses run by special agent Ayaka.
Ayaka explaining that Ayaya is at the top of their list of offenders and is considered the most dangerous subject out there.
Kei, Ayaka's secretary, coming in to give FenCom orange juice.
FenCom chasing after GAM by foot and then in a stolen vehicle.
Miki pretending she has to pee so that Ayaya will stop the car and present an opportunity for escape.
The flashback concluded, and the readers that were still confused left temporarily to read the original FenxMiki Adventures. Readers who were sufficiently informed continued to listen to Miki's story.
"I tried to escape from her evil clutches, but as you know, she is oh so nefarious. She had a contingency plan for just about everything. We eventually ended up at the northern tip of Honshu, and I jumped out of the car window while we were driving on a precipice by a stretch of coast. Ayaya had let me roll down my window because she didn't think I'd jump out from so high up. Turns out that I was able to survive the fall into the water perfectly. I found a job washing dishes in a run-down restaurant in the town of Hiranai so that I could raise money to take local trains back down to Tokyo. This took me three months. Once I got back, I was so exhausted, and when some tall guy held the door open for me, I asked him to marry me because I was so happy. Nobody had held a door for me in three months. Turned out he was kinda famous. So we started to make plans while I tried to talk to Tsunku-san and resuscitate my career. It kind of didn't work, 'cause all they did was make me design purses and make me eat food on television. Then one day while I was in the shower, I heard someone in my apartment, so I left the water running and peeked through the door. I saw Ayaya rummaging through my stuff - mostly my papers - and looking really sneaky and suspicious. At first I thought she was looking for me, but I figured that since she was looking through drawers... well, I mean, she's kinda dumb, but not dumb enough to think that I could fit into a drawer, right?"
FenCom shared an unsure look that Miki caught. She shrugged.
"Well, I hope so. But anyway, she just read some stuff that I had lying around and then left. Now, remember that I hadn't had any contact with her since I'd jumped out that window, so it was quite a surprise. I don't know if she knew I'd been away for three months, but I'm pretty sure she didn't know I was watching her through a crack in the door."
"But she left without taking anything?" Fen asked.
Miki nodded, but indicated that she would explain.
"I didn't hear from her after that, and so that random guy and I started planning our wedding. We sent invites out to everyone, and as a courtesy, I sent one to Ayaya, though I knew she'd probably not be able to go 'cause of work (if that's what you can call what she does). Then one day - this was about two weeks ago - Shige called me up crying and sobbing, which is pretty normal activity for her, but the strange thing was that she never calls me, and then bam, out of the blue, there she is on the line."
For some reason, this made Commie giggle, which made Fen slap her lightly in the head.
"So I asked her what was wrong, and she said that Ayaya had been in the studio recently and had been a total bitch. Er, which is not abnormal, but she was being specifically mean to Shige, Ai-chan, and Koharu-chan. Now, I can understand why she'd give them all shit (exasperation, jealousy, and exasperation respectively), but it made no sense to go in there after months of being off the map. I mean, she's no longer in H!P, so it's, like, weird for her to be associating herself with the girls and going to their rehearsals. I told Shige to calm down and that Ayaya didn't mean it personally. I also told her to call me if Ayaya said or did anything else. I knew something was up. Well, a week and a half later (so that was just a few days ago), Shige called me up crying again. She said Ayaya had cornered her outside the studio building and had ranted and raved about me and how I was going off to get married in Hawaii just to selfishly forget about my responsibilities to the group. She also asked Shige all sorts of questions about their upcoming performance in Los Angeles, and then after glaring about evilly, she left. Or that's how Shige told it. I told Shige that she was to keep this a secret and not to tell anyone else. Right after I hung up, I got an e-mail from Ayaya. No pleasantries, no introductory statements, nothing. All it said was 'Your two buddies in California are about to have an unfortunate encounter'... which I thought was pretty lame-sounding. But a threat from Ayaya is a threat from Ayaya, and it has to be taken seriously. I knew she was talking about you two, and I knew that somehow, she was planning some kind of disaster involving Morning Musume. I'm not really sure why, but I guess it's because she's still pretty pissed off at you two for what happened a year ago, but also cuz she's mad at me and thinks that by getting to you, she'll also get to me."
As Miki spoke, FenCom noticed her hands moving around, unable to keep steady. Com poked her hard in the arm.
"Hands!" Fen snapped.
Miki sat on her hands.
"So you just took off and came here to stop her?" Commie asked Miki, who had surreptitiously slipped her hands free.
"Basically, yeah. I told my fiancé that I was going to visit some friends in America before the wedding. He was a bit confused, but he didn't dare question me. I'm Fujimoto fucking Miki."
"Amen!" chimed in FenCom.
"So I got myself a flight. And it was a total and complete coincidence that it was the same flight as Morning Musume. I'm serious."
FenCom blinked. That was a coincidence of epic proportions.
"Nobody saw me, though, because I'm a fucking ninja."
FenCom nodded.
"Once I got out of the airport, I took a taxi to the Convention Center to wait for you guys and do some recon. I saw the whole tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor incident in the line. I didn't see the person, but I'm ninety-nine point nine nine nine percent sure that it was Ayaya."
Here, Miki patted Fen's left calf. It was a well-concealed grope, and Fen didn't think twice about it.
"And since then, I've been preparing to do more recon. I found out where you live," she nodded at Fen, "and I confirmed the fact that you were staying with her," she nodded at Com, "and I decided I'd try to find you again this morning just to make sure you were alive before I set off on my journey for the day."
"Then why did you run when you bumped into Fen?" Commie asked.
Miki winced.
"I didn't want you guys to be involved again. Last time was disastrous, and you two are just too warm and cuddly and far too grope-worthy to be dragged into dealings with a crazy lady like Ayaya."
FenCom blushed at the compliment. And then they shuddered, because Miki groping is scary (in a nice, wrong-but-right way).
"I figured I'd try and protect you from afar."
"Like a guardian angel," Fen gushed, and FenCom were suddenly overrun with the good old feelings from back in the day of Miki Worship.
"How noble!" Commie swooned.
Miki cackled, slowly relaxing into her character.
"But I failed to foresee Ayaya injuring Fen and you catching me, so everything has changed.
"But how do you know that she's not done? Maybe she just wanted to shoot Fen and then leave," Commie asked.
Miki struck a thoughtful pose.
"No, she specifically wrote that both of you would have a bad encounter. Only Fen was shot. I think she's got something planned, and I wouldn't be surprised if it happened on the day of the Momusu concert."
Fen frowned suddenly.
"But then why did we see you working at a restaurant and driving a truck??"
Miki looked genuinely confused.
"I really can't tell you why you saw me, but I can assure you that it wasn't me. I haven't been in a vehicle other than the taxi from the airport to the Convention Center. And besides, I don't even have a work visa."
"But this is California," Commie pointed out proudly, quoting Fen.
"True," Miki mused. "But even so, I do not work here."
"So who was it that we both saw?" Commie asked Fennie.
"I dunno," Fennie replied. "Maybe we really were just tired and paranoid."
But somehow that explanation didn't sit well with them. They were sure something bigger was happening, but they couldn't put it together with the few pieces they had.
"So what do we do now?" Commie asked.
Fen looked at her watch.
"I gotta get to work. My shift starts in five minutes."
Commie looked at Miki.
"I'd offer to hang out with you, but I have to go meet Dave, and we can't let anyone else know you're here..."
Miki shook her head.
"All the better. I have to continue with my mission. You two should help with the information gathering, though. Can you do a bit of reconaissance wherever you are today?"
"Huh? You mean where we all sculpt and paint and stuff?" Commie asked, earning her a punch in the face from Fen.
"Don't Nacchi quotes from Buffy, you Sayu-head!"
"Sorry," sniffed Commie. "Couldn't resist."
"And yes, we'll keep an eye out wherever we are," Fen agreed to Miki's proposal.
"Well then, girls," Miki said, feeling free now to stand up and put a hand on either girl's shoulder. "It's been a pleasure. I will be in touch later if I have any information about Ayaya's plans. We can exchange infos. Then we can find a way to stop whatever unpleasantness she has planned."
Her hand lingered for a few seconds too long, and FenCom gave her nervous smiles as they wrote their phone numbers and e-mail addresses down for the molestation queen. Fen ran off to work, and Commie ran off to find Dave.
The Renaissance Begins...
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LO Muthaf**king L. I love this story, in all it's epic awesomeness.
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Poor Shige... tortured by Ayaya. :( No wonder she had a floppy wave. XD
Miki-sama is a virginal angel!!! XD
And if it wasn't Miki-sama that we saw in the truck and fast food, then who was it?! :O Alternate dimension Miki?!!!! *GASP!*
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Miki-sama lurking in the shadows @ AX ....that's kinda hawt. :drool:
I wonder if she was there at the Hello!Party (especially during Romantic Ukare Mode).
Did the evil Ayaya create a Miki copy to throw you two off? Is Dinny a part of her horrible plans?
What is Davetron's part in all of this?
On a side note I thank ComFen for comverting me to SNSD. It was truly an enlightening experience.
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LOL rndm. <3
FneFen, that's right! She was so worried about the Ayaya torture that she didn't sleep a wink on the plane, so she gave that really floppy wave when she got out.
Zomg, who was that in the truck/fast food?! Dun dun duuuuun. I hope you all like the answer. XD To be found out... later.
HartAKL85, welcome to this insane thread, and yay! Glad we've got another comfension ("conversion" in ComFen speak) on our hands. :lol: :heart: All your questions and more will be answered.
I haven't written the next chapter yet, but I will soon! Need to be in the funny and crazy mood that makes the words just pour out of my fingers. ^^
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12: Hit Again?! The Evil Forces Strike Back! This Title Sounds Like a Sailor Moon Episode Title!!
Several things went wrong that morning: Dinny failed to call Fen and ComTron ended up being attacked in El Pueblo by a rabid taco.
These terrible things were counterbalanced by the good things that happened: Fen got to eat ice cream and ComTron got to eat the rabid taco.
After splitting up, Fen went to her chair at her work room and sat for four hours. She stared at every single person who walked in and every single person who walked out of the room. She got stared back at threateningly many times, mostly by people who thought they were tough but really weren't. She didn't recognise anyone, however. No sign of Ayaya or anything else amiss. During her washroom breaks, she would walk slowly, making sure to brush shoulders with everyone in the hallways. Then her co-worker brought her an ice cream cone, which made her happy. She forgot all about her leg problems as she ate. She messaged Dinny a few times, but no answer came. She wasn't particularly concerned, since Dinny was probably busy with some Musume-related business, but upon messaging Commie about this information, Commie became very suspicious (but she didn't share her thoughts with Fen on this because she didn't trust her own sense of judgement).
ComTron decided to walk five thousand kilometres within four hours. Commie completely forgot about all the ComFen troubles and had a blast with Dave. They went to various districts in downtown L.A., had a few near misses with crazy people, and made friends with a lovely man who had moved to LA to become a fashion model. When they stopped for lunch at a taco shop, they mixed up their orders because they didn't actually know what real Mexican food looked like. The taco was offended, and it got up on its dancing legs, attacking ComTron before they were able to jab it with a fork and eat it. It was a delicious dancing taco.
Just before two o'clock, Fen messaged ComTron and told them to get their butts back to the Convention Center because Morning Musume was having their panel. At the end of the message, Fen added some code for Commie's eyes only.
The yellow peacock sways as the gracious tiger flies over the moon hovering above a star-kissed valley.
"What the fuck?" Commie wondered aloud, not sure what Fen was trying to tell her and making a mental note to ask for clarification when they met up.
"Do you think we'll make it to the two o'clock panel?" Dave asked, checking his watch.
They had exactly eight minutes to walk back to the building, and they were still four thousand and twenty-six kilometres away.
"Psshhhh," Commie said confidently, waving her hand at Dave. "No problem."
Seven minutes later, a rather haggard looking ComTron duo arrived at the Convention Center, pushed past all their limits and feet hanging off their ankles by mere threads.
"I... told you... we'd make it..." Commie gasped, leaning a hand against a wall and bending over to try and stop the pain.
"...."
Dave simply lay flat on his back in the middle of the foyer, unable to move or speak and barely able to breathe. People walked and jumped over him as though he were a natural part of the building.
"There you are!!" shouted a voice.
Commie looked up and grinned. There was Fen limping over to them and waving her hands in a flurry.
"Hurry up! The panel starts in a few minutes. You're damned lucky things are running two point eight minutes later than usual!!"
She stopped approaching and hobbled back to her duties, disappearing from sight as though she'd only been an apparition of Commie's memory. Perhaps she had been.
"Come on," Commie said, grabbing Dave's limp arm and tugging on it to pull him up to his feet.
"Mommy..." Dave whimpered as he stood up on his ruined legs.
The pair hobbled in Fen's wake, reaching the room just in time to get some seats by Daigong.
"What's up, guys?!" hollared The Man.
He grabbed ComTron in a collective manhug, and ComTron, still in pain, received even more pain.
"Holy sweet mother-" Commie began.
"-of all that is mighty in heaven!" Dave finished.
Once Daigong let go, they collapsed into their seats, and the only thing that brought them out of their pain was catching the eight mile wide smile on Fen's face by looking beyond the aisle and sitting with style while they waited for the Musume to arrive in a pile.
"El em eh oh," chuckled Tron.
"El oh el," chuckled Com.
"Roffle."
"Oh em gee."
"Zom gass."
"Lol my god."
"..."
"Haha."
Someone walking in the row behind Commie accidentally bumped into the back of Commie's head just as Commie was leaning back to stretch out her monkey arms.
"Oh, excuse me," the girl apologised as she took her seat directly behind Commie.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Commie simultaneously, turning around to apologise.
The two strangers smiled at each other. Commie then turned around, and the conversation was over in a pleasant way.
The lights dimmed abruptly.
"Ladies and gentlemen..... The Musumes!"
Cheesy brass band music started playing and Morning Musume walked out in single file, all wearing silly hats and doing the Queen's wave. The crowd clapped politely.
Who am I kidding? They yelled, screamed, and were obscene with excitement.
Commie suddenly lost all interest in the goings on because she saw a glint of metal peak around the corner of the large pull down screen on stage right. It was the tip of a gun and it was aimed right at her. She looked desperately at Fen, but Fen was too busy ogling Aibutt's back (since her butt was currently occupied with the action known as "sitting in a chair").
Fen! Commie thought, trying to use their secret telepathic power.
Fen was too distracted and had closed off all receivers in her mind. Commie could only do one thing, and that was to get out of the line of fire. Just as she saw a little puff of smoke come out of the silver tipped gun, she ducked. The slight sound of something whizzing through the air by her head was heard only by her ears, and after holding her breath and sitting still for four seconds, she heard a slight thump from behind her. Tiny beads of sweat clung to Commie's forehead, and she tried to wipe them off when Daigong bent down to look in her face.
"You ok?" he asked quietly.
Commie nodded distractedly and gave a small, nervous smile. When Daigong wasn't looking anymore, she tried to look behind her to see if anyone had been injured. She craned her neck as much as possible while not being too obvious. She didn't notice anything amiss, so she turned back and sighed in a bit of relief. At least whoever was shooting hadn't hit anyone else. Commie didn't want to imagine having to explain this to the cops, no matter how hot they were in their uniforms.
The panel ended in an hour, everyone got their autograph tickets, and the filing out of the room began. What Commie didn't know - and would never know - was that someone had indeed been hit by the shot. It was the girl with whom she'd had a bump in just before the start of the panel. The girl had been directly behind Commie and thus in her blind spot.
Rndmnwierd, sprawled on the floor and unconscious due to the tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor dart lodged in her right shoulder, would never know that it was Comrade she'd bumped into. She would also never know why she passed out at the beginning of a panel she'd been waiting half her life to attend.
Must have been all that excitement on irc last night, she thought long after the crowds had cleared out and she remained the only one in the room, dusting off her clothes and gathering her wits about her.
Oh, the chance encounters of the world that go unknown to us for eternity.
TBC...
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OMG! OMG! OMG! *jumps around in joy!* I got darted! Wait, that's a bad thing.... Hmm, now that you mention it, I totally didn't know you were there. Though I do remember daigong and his overly manly hugs. My ribs hurt just remembering them.
You so made my day with this chapter. In fact, I tackled my friend just now in excitement. Excrement lols, my friend is narrating now.
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:lol: :heart: This ^ is the reason why this story is written. To make people happy and all :cow: ish.
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Dammit!!! How could I not notice that gun when I was just 4 rows from that blasted screen? I could've stopped the evil Ayaya then and there. :banghead: Sorry I couldn't save you rndmnwierd. Must train harder to never make the same mistake again.
Phew! Now that I got my head out of the clouds time for some commenting:
She messaged Dinny a few times, but no answer came.
Hmmm, interesting. Very suspicious.
:taco: Ahh, the mysterious dancing taco. Best to bring an offering of salsa or guacamole if you do not want to face its wraith.
The yellow peacock sways as the gracious tiger flies over the moon hovering above a star-kissed valley.
:dunno: *Searches for his ComFen/Engrish Dictionary. Ugh! Might as well try babelfish.
Dave simply lay flat on his back in the middle of the foyer, unable to move or speak and barely able to breathe. People walked and jumped over him as though he were a natural part of the building.
:on lol: This reminds me of this guy I saw taking a nap in the arcade room at AX. Looked like one of those bear rugs.
"El em eh oh," chuckled Tron.
"El oh el," chuckled Com.
"Roffle."
"Oh em gee."
"Zom gass."
"Lol my god."
:wahaha:
The panel ended in an hour, everyone got their autograph tickets, and the filing out of the room began. What Commie didn't know - and would never know - was that someone had indeed been hit by the shot. It was the girl with whom she'd had a bump in just before the start of the panel. The girl had been directly behind Commie and thus in her blind spot.
Rndmnwierd, sprawled on the floor and unconscious due to the tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor dart lodged in her right shoulder, would never know that it was Comrade she'd bumped into. She would also never know why she passed out at the beginning of a panel she'd been waiting half her life to attend.
*sigh Never again.
Whoa! Longest post so far. Can't wait until the next installment. Is it me or did I just copy someone's style of posting?
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If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were JFC in disguise. 8)2
Hey, you were at AX? Arggg, why didn't you help rndmnwierd?!?! She was counting on you!
Omg, ComFen Engrish Dictionary. Exactly what we need.
Anyway, I didn't say this formally before, but nice to meet you! ;P
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i read the whole story for the last few hours and wished I had that kind of adventure in AX
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AHAHAHAHA~
Sorry Commie. Indeed I was too busy staring at AIBUTT to hear your telepathic messages. XD
Good times, good times! :heart:
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Aww, :wub: thx Commie.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were JFC in disguise. 8)2
:on lol: Next thing you'll say is that he's filipino as me, or that I was sitting directly behind you at the Tsunku panel as seen in his blog. (I was the short asian guy, second row, 4th from the right.)
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Haha, CKD, but you did have a part in the action. At least in the fantasy world. Hehe. Keep on reading~
Let's see if Fen can look beyond Aibutt for a moment and help me catch the criminal in this story. :roll: ... :heart:
Lol, nice. You're in Tsunku's blog, HartAKL85. I didn't go to the Tsunku panel, but I'm sure there was some tri-pastelatingtoolazytocopyandpaste action there. >_>
13: Battles and Bullets and Butts
Everyone rushed out and went on a long scavenger hunt for the Morning Musume autograph booth. Many soldiers were lost in the process. They gave up the fight and lay down to rest, depressed by the thought of having come so far only to be stopped by misinformation. Pandemonium broke out because nobody knew what room they were supposed to go to. ComTron ran around in circles, grabbed a coffee, got manicures, browsed various anime booths, and even had a conversation with the Chairman of Epson before they were able to find the room for the autographs.
"What took you so long?!" Fen asked.
ComTron were gasping for breath, their legs still not healed from the morning's marathon walk.
"Couldn't... find the... room," Tron explained, waving his hands chaotically above his head to illustrate what they'd looked like the past fifteen minutes.
In a fit of post traumatic stress disorder, Commie joined Dave in waving her arms above her head, and in the process, her autograph ticket went fluttering from her hand.
"HAHA!" cried out a girl, who dove for the ticket, managing to grab it and stand up, holding it like a torch to the sky. "I am now prepared to meet my destiny."
Everyone looked at Commie and this girl expectantly, waiting for the fight for the ticket to break out. It was going to be epic. Wagers were already being placed, most of them on the other girl.
"Aewen versus Commie brawl. Dude, this is the stuff crackfics are made of," Dinny geeked out.
(Dinny had appeared in the line without announcing her arrival. Fen took it for granted. Commie was too busy to be suspicious, but she would be later when she had time to think about it.)
Commie squinted. Aewen stared back with a calm face that would have been the envy of a glare-y Miki-sama. Both girls raised one of their respective arms slightly, bending at the elbows and letting their respective hands dangle by their respective hips as though they had revolvers waiting there in holsters. Aewen's fingers twitched slightly in a playful, calm gesture over her imaginary firearm. Commie blew out of a thin stream of smoke through her mouth, a cigarette hanging out of one side of her loosely closed lips.
"This town ain't big enough f'da both of us," Aewen drawled in a thick southern accent.
"Whaddaya gonna do about it?" Commie asked in a similar voice.
Aewen said nothing. Commie responded with nothing. The crowd watched expectantly, sweat dripping down their torsos in a chill-inducing, uncomfortable way, worried about getting caught in the line of fire, but also worried that they may have placed their bets on the wrong girl.
Just then, the doors to the autograph room opened, and a man in an AX shirt poked his head out.
"We are now beginning the autograph session, so please come in!"
The duel was promptly forgotten, and hoards of H!P fans began to flood the room. Aewen and Commie looked around in distress, desperately trying to grab their former audience members.
"No, don't go! We haven't even started yet!" Aewen cried.
"We still have so much more suspense to dish out!" Commie sobbed.
But in the grand scheme of things, two slightly kooky MM fans were no match for MM itself.
Within seconds, all that was left of the former queue were a few fans who had not been lucky enough to get in due to ticket restrictions. They didn't seem interested in watching the duel, instead talking to each other about their hobbies. Aewen thrust her hand out to Commie and handed her the ticket.
"You can have it back," she said guiltily.
Commie shrugged.
"I really didn't want it anyway," she admitted. "I just wanted to have a battle with you."
They looked at each other in the eye, and then all was good. All was understood. Aewen retracted her hand, smiled and nodded, and then ran off to get her autograph. Commie wandered off to find something to do for the next hour.
****
"Oh my god, did you see that? She just looked right at me," Fen gushed to Dave.
"She did?" Dave asked, looking at Morning Musume. "Wait, who did?"
Fen slapped Dave upside the head.
"Who do you think, you oaf?!"
Dave laughed nervously.
"Aibutt dot com!!!!" Daigong screamed out suddenly, bursting out from the line and into the centre of the room.
"Don't mind him," Tenkei announced to those fans who did not know who Daigong was (which didn't number in the many), grabbing onto the insane administrator's arm and dragging him back into line. "He's, um... excited."
"Look, Dave. We're only two people away from the first Musume!" Fen giggled, hugging her photos close to her. "I can't wait can't wait can't wait can't w-"
She cut herself off in mid chant, for she saw something disturbing. The metallic glint of the barrel of a gun peeked around from behind some curtains set up behind Morning Musume. Fen watched in horror as she realised that the gun was pointed not at her but at Ai-chan.
"NEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Fen yelled, forgetting that her legs still ached and making a dash for the Musume.
She jumped and flew over the table, her head making contact with Ai's right shoulder and tipping the girl over violently in her chair. The momentum carried Fen past the fallen Musume and into a somersault that resulted in her crashing into the curtain that hid the mysterious shooter. The flimsy poles the curtain was hanging on gave out, and the whole structure came tumbling down. Wasting no time moaning and groaning about her pain, she flailed her arms out and tried to grab at the figure that was trapped under the curtain and scrambling to escape.
"I got you!" Fen cried out through angrily grit teeth
She jumped on top of the figure and wrapped her arms around its neck as though she were taking a horizontal piggy back ride. The figure, however, was almost impossibly swift and strong. It made no sound or sign of effort as it stood up, Fen hanging off of it. It started to shake itself, bumping Fen around. Fen, though, hung on for dear life. She wasn't going to let this one go. If this was Ayaya as she suspected, she had a huge score to settle with her. It was a score that went back several years, and it was even more personal now that her new favourite idol was a target.
Poor Ai-chan Fen thought, though not daring to look back at the girl for fear of losing her grip on the perpetrator of the almost-crime.
The figure now began to run. Fen could hardly believe it. They were just about the same size, and yet this did not stop the criminal. Fen tried desperately to at least remove the curtain from the figure's face so that she could confirm an identity, but it was too long and by this time too wrapped around the figure to remove easily.
What Fen did not know was that if she had been able to hang on for just a few moments more, the figure would have tripped up and fallen. Fen would have been able to restrain it until help came. She would have been able to confirm the identity of the person who had been shooting the tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor gun. What she did not anticipate was a major distraction.
"Miki-sama?!" she cried out, catching sight of the girl across the room.
Miki was edging towards a long table with a long, white table cloth.
The momentary shock of seeing Miki in the Convention Center gave the mysterious figure the edge, and before Fen could sing "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", she was thrown to the ground. By the time she'd rolled back up, the figure was gone. In the midst of a panic attack, Fen jumped up and ran to the door to check the hallway, but there was no discernible suspicious activity going on. There were few people in this particular hallway, and most of them were sitting or milling about in small circles. Fen ran back into the room and headed for the last known location of Miki in order to scream at her for not helping, but she couldn't find her either. Fen began to tear her hair out and mutter to herself.
"I almost had her, I almost had her, I almost had her."
'Her' in this case being Ayaya, the prime suspect
Fen suddenly remembered that she'd tackled Ai-chan to the ground, and her head jerked up. She looked behind her to see chaos. She crept back guiltily. She could see various Hipsters, other H!P fans, AX employees, and all of Morning Musume and their helpers staring at her, some in suspicion, some in wonder, some in fear, some in amusement. Daigong was laughed like a maniac and then sobbing like a baby, alternating between the two at irregular intervals.
"Don't mind him," Tenkei announced again, dragging Daigong behind a human fortress of Hipsters. "He got high before coming here."
Fen had just walked by the area where the curtain had formerly stood, when she tripped over something on the ground that sent her falling. She found herself face to face with the tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor gun.
"No way..." she murmured.
What luck! She couldn't catch the criminal, but she had gotten her hands on the weapon. That was the next best thing. Because she was conveniently wearing two t-shirts, she removed the top one and used it to pick up the gun, slipping it into her bag (which was conveniently still on her despite a tumble with a curtained figure).
"Um, excuse me," said a dangerous-sounding voice from behind her.
Fenrir gulped at the familiar voice. She stood up and turned around. Behind her stood three Musume - Risa, Reina, and Sayu.
"You just tackled our friend."
Reina added a menacing and wonky glare to her words. It wasn't exactly scary to Fen, who had had to deal with Miki's glares, but there was something a bit knee-wobbly-inducing about facing off against three Musume.
"She was about to be shot," Fen explained in a calm way, hoping that she could defuse a nasty situation.
"Oh yeah?" a pissed off Risa asked. "By who?"
"By whom," Sayu whispered exaggeratedly to Risa.
Risa all but physically injured the cute, fluffy, awesomely adorable girl, spitting out vehement and unpublishable words that described her opinion on Sayu correcting anybody's grammar.
"Well, there was a person behind the curtain with a gun, and she was aiming it at Aibu- Takahashi-san," Fen said, pointing behind the table at which the Musume had been signing autographs.
Risa, Reina, and Sayu turned around to find any evidence of a shooter, a gun, or a curtain, but Fen had failed to realise before pointing that all these things had escaped the room. The three Musume turned to look at Fen again, and Fen began to laugh nervously, backing up slowly.
"I... look... there's been a mistake..."
And then Dinny saved the day.
"Look! Johnny's boys!!" she screeched, running by the three Musume and Fen, waving her arms in a TronCom way.
Risa, Reina, and Sayu seemed to drop off the face of the earth as they pursued Dinny in search of the Johns, and Fen murmured a prayer to the allmighty Din. She wasn't home free yet, however. Morning Musume's handlers were walking towards her, although slowly because they seemed more concerned about salvaging the already low CD sales (to the handlers, Johnny's and Hello! Project in one room obviously meant that romantic pairing off would happen, and if all the Musume suddenly had boyfriends, then they'd all be kicked out of Morning Musume, which would result in no more Morning Musume, which would lead to no profit, and so therefore, they were keeping an eye out on the Musume, making sure they didn't follow the erring Risa, Reina, and Sayu).
And that is how capitalism saved Fen from being caught and from possible fines/incarceration. She made for the doorway and slipped into the washroom just a few doors down. She locked herself in a stall and then waited for three minutes. When nobody came in, she knew she was free. Safe from prying eyes, she finally decided to inspect the dangerous weapon in her bag. She was careful not to touch it with her bare hands, though, because whoever the mysterious figure had been, he or she (though Fen was heavily leaning towards 'she') could have left identifiable fingerprints. She used the shirt it was wrapped in to handle it.
The weapon was rather simply designed, a look that belied the intense, mothereffing pain it caused (Fen sniffed sadly at the memory of the pain). She opened up the chamber and noticed that two darts had been discharged.
Wonder when there was a second victim, she thought in confusion, for as far as she could remember, only she had been shot.
After fiddling around and finding and activating the safety catch, Fen felt much better giving the gun a visual inspection. Nothing stood out about it. There wasn't even any kind of serial number or company name. It was as mysterious as the figure that had been wielding it. Just when she was about to give up looking for clues, she caught something etched on the bottom of the grip. It was in tiny letters, but it was easily legible.
Made in Singapore
Fen felt a chill go up her spine. She felt like this was a significant piece of information, but she had no idea why.
She began to question everything that had happened. Another attack, this time aimed at Ai-chan. What had Ai-chan done to deserve it? Why had Miki come back to the Convention Center? And why had she escaped and not helped Fen? What the heck was going on?
She had to confer Commie, and maybe together they could come up with something. If that failed, they always had Miki, although Fen wasn't so sure anymore that Miki would be willing to help them. They might possibly be reduced to their original Dynamic Duo formation for this one....
Get Yo Sexy On~
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Epic battles!! Omg, the misinformation thing was so frustrating. I totally didn't get an autograph because that bitch yanked us around and I would have been among the first in line too!
Oh noes! Someone's after Aibutt!? with a dart gun from Singapore? Why is that important I wonder?
But my favorite line has got to be:
And that is how capitalism saved Fen from being caught and from possible fines/incarceration.
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SINGAPORE?! O_O
Would that have to do with when I saw...you know...that.
O__O
And Fen is epic for the tackle. XD
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Ooohh! I would have paid to see that Aewen vs. Commie fight, videotaped it, and upload it on youtube, but I was one of the last ticketholders those AX volunteers were able to let into the autograph session. Unfortunately just as I was just about to enter that room, I got Momosu-blocked by the same ppl that let me in. :err:
Damn that misinformation!! This was probably Ayaya's fault. I would've even had enough time to see Yossui at the MM booth. (and tell her that I'm actually 6 days older than her.)
So Aibutt's now being targeted as well? :stunned: And the tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor gun is made in Singapore...hmm...don't tell me a H!P fan (or worst a hipster) has gone to the dark side.
Still curious about the random Miki sightings. Don't believe it's actually her.
The TanaGakiShige bit was amusing (although I kinda don't feel sorry for Fen :lol:). Sayu don't ever correct Gaki's grammar. And why do you have to go after those awful Johnny's Boys?
*searches for his own tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor gun: Callahan full-bore autolock with a customized trigger and double-cartridge thorough gauge.
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FEN TACKLE! XD
AIBUTT~! :heart:
But damn! Almost had the culprit! Dan you Miki! *shakes fist But at least I got to save Aibutt. lol
Aewen vs Commie! My money is on gansta Aewen. :lol:
Gun made in Singapore!?!! Mmmm..... hehehe
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lol, rndm. See, sometimes capitalism can be awesome. ;P
Estrea.... Yes. That...
Thank you for the gun technobabble, HartAKL85. :heart:
Omg, Fen... No faith in Commie? :cry: Even after I made you all FenHero [insert heroic pictoor here]. Hmmm... but you're right. Aewen would prolly win... CUZ I'D LET HER :tama-mad: (Actually, not really. She'd totally win. ;_; )
14: Made in...
She sat down at her desk, fingers hovering over the keyboard, thoughts spinning in her head so quickly that she didn't know how to set them down for the record.
"Well, may as well just let it flow out through my fingertips," she muttered to herself.
She hit 'Reply' on the Ayaya thread, then thought about it and closed the window, opening up the Postwhoring thread instead. She hit 'reply' there and began to type.
Hello, all.
Now I know that I have an imagination that can sometimes get the better of me, and believe you me, I am the first person who will admit to this. But what I saw three days ago really did happen, and it has taken me these three days to let it swish around in my mind. Three days to analyse it before writing an account.
It all started when I took a lunch break...
She paused for a moment and read everything she had written. She deleted it all and closed the window.
"I've got to find a less clichéd, more descriptive approach..."
But how could she put into words exactly what she'd seen? It had been straight out of a detective thriller. A conspiracy movie. A HelloPro fanfic.
"Hmmm."
Estrea thought back to three days ago...
~~~~
"Ok, see you in forty-five," I said to a co-worker, giving a brief wave and quickly slipping out the door.
I headed down to the company cafeteria feeling slightly down. The past few days had been very hot. So hot that only the palm trees in this godforsaken city could thrive. The people were holed up in their air conditioned homes and office buildings, and the streets had taken on the atmosphere of a post-apocalyptic urban junkyard. Like I Am Legend, minus Will Smith.
In between classes, I worked as a financial consultant. I had no idea how this managed to fit into my busy schedule, but somehow it did. Must've been one of those ComFen Plot Contrivance things. (I love those!)
In fact, that duo - Fenrir and Comrade - had been on my mind of late. I knew they were going to be hanging out in Los Angeles and going to the Morning Musume concert. I had wanted to join them, but an emergency had popped up back in autumn (total and complete world economic failure), so I had since then been a bit caught up with trying single-handedly to revive Singapore's economy while paying off my school bills. The Hipsters had promised me lots of pictures and reports, though, so I didn't feel so bad missing out.
I reached my usual table and put my book down (I always had reading material with me, from famous, high brow literature, to fanfic printed out from the forum). I grabbed a tray and went to see what monstrosities they had awaiting me for lunch. Once loaded up with some type of meat that didn't seem to be squirming (like last time) and a pile of overly mushy vegetables (I like my fluffy fics like that, not my food), I went back to my table and began to chew on the tasteless meal while reading.
I got through six pages before dropping a soggy piece of broccoli on myself (a record, since I usually drop food on myself by the fourth page of whatever I'm reading). I was hesitant to wipe it off since it was only broccoli and wouldn't leave a stain. However, obsession took over me, and I knew that if I didn't placate my mind by performing a perfunctory wipe down of my trousers, I would convince myself for the rest of the day that I had some massive green spot on my thigh and that all my clients would see it and laugh. I took out one of the packages of moist toilettes I pocketed weekly from my flight attendant friend's home, and I used one to gently pat my leg. Done with the tissue, I folded it neatly and placed it on my tray. I was done with pretending to enjoy my meal. I then bent down to find the wretched piece of broccoli that had caused all this trouble. I couldn't see it anywhere under the table, so I rolled back up, took a breath, and went for another gander under my chair. Nothing there.
"Hmmm," I hummed aloud, resting my chin on my fist and staring out into the space in front of me.
I promptly choked.
"Khgyaahaha chac ahahllahaklllkha!" went my abnormal cough, drawing several stares from co-workers (thankfully, we didn't work in the same section).
I resumed my regular breathing pattern. I blinked.
"Khgyaahaha chac ahahllahaklllkha! Hkaaaahkkaaaaakkhhhkaaaaa!" I went off again.
This time, a girl who had just started working in the same section as me two weeks ago came over to my table.
"Are you all right, Estrea?" she asked.
I was in the middle of clearing my throat silently while trying to swallow, my face scrunched up and beat red with effort. I raised a hand and nodded as confidently as possible. She left. Nobody else came to bother me. They were used to my strange reactions to things that were just not so reaction-worthy.
This time, however, it would have been worth their time inspecting the situation, for right in my line of vision was Matsuura Aya.
But no, it can't be, I thought, shaking my head with a chuckle.
Ayaya had no scheduled appearances in Singapore or any neighbouring country, and if she were here on vacation, she would not be at my office building's cafeteria. She'd be enjoying tourist-y sights and eating yummy local foodstuffs.
But gosh, she sure looks like Ayaya. Could be her twin...
I squinted a bit to make sure she was completely in focus, and I tilted my head to the right just a tad in order to get a front view of her face. The girl was reading off a sheet of A4 sized paper, a pen in one hand. Every few sentences, it seemed, she would write a short comment in the margin and give a satisfied nod. I continued to watch, ignoring the commotion around me as employees laughed during their forty-five precious minutes of free time between torrents of work. A cell phone rang once. It rang twice and then thrice. After the fourth ring, I was about to yell out for the owner to just pick it up already when the girl I thought looked like Ayaya snapped out of her reading and searched through her purse, pulling out a light pink Softbank with keitai straps galore. Then my jaw dropped in astonishment. The ring had sounded familiar, but I hadn't been able to place it because I hadn't listened to the song in a long time. The minute the girl answered the phone, the name of the song came into my head.
"Love Namida Iro!" I gasped to myself.
Could it be a coincidence that this Ayaya lookalike had an Ayaya ringtone and a Japanese cell phone?
"Hello~" the girl said in a sing song voice.
In Japanese.
In Ayaya's voice.
"Holy f*^%@&#~!"
Ok, breathe, breathe, breathe I chanted in my head while trying not to hyperventilate. It's just Ayaya. Only one of the most popular former Hello! Project members. Breathe. Everything's ok. And just remember: she doesn't read our fanfic. She doesn't know the horrible things we do to her and how we like to kill her off. Breathe. Breathe breathe breathe.
I settled down and listened. It was too late, however, for the girl - now confirmed to be Ayaya - had lowered her voice and her personality had gone from high strung and bubbly to serious and even a bit... evil...
Probably discussing some business with someone.
But why she'd do that here in Singapore was beyond me. Unless she was really here to see a financial consultant. Was the economy in Japan so bad that Ayaya had to come all the way to Singapore for a consultation? It made no sense. Unless she had investments in a joint-stock venture co-sponsored by Singapore and Ja-
My speculative paragraph was cut off by the author because she had no idea what those words used together meant . Also because Ayaya got up. I cackled maniacally and stood up, too. I was going to follow her. I still had half an hour of lunch break left, and there was nothing like a little fangirling over an idol to get the blood pumping for the afternoon grind.
Ayaya moved off at a rapid pace, and I followed suit. She took a left at the cafeteria entrance and wound around several corridors, each section turning darker than the previous one. It was slightly ominous, but I had no reason to be suspicious. There had been many pushes made of late in order to be a bit more ecologically friendly in the office. Reduced lighting was just one way to combat the looming threat of global warming. It also saved money to turn lights off.
Lost in thought about the environment, I almost didn't notice Ayaya halt just outside a door. I stopped myself just in time and rushed to hide behind a conveniently located, tall, potted plant. I peered through the leaves and saw Ayaya knock six times in some kind of coded pattern. A few heartbeats passed by, and the door opened. To my dismay, it was so dark in the room that I couldn't see the person who had opened the door, but I could tell she was female.
"Matsuura-san," she greeted in Japanese.
Are the Japanese taking over our company or something? I wondered sarcastically.
I tried to identify the voice, but I couldn't. It wasn't anyone in HelloPro that I recognised.
"Do you have what I asked for?" Ayaya asked.
I could barely make out the figure nodding. She pulled a rectangular package from what I presumed to be a table beside the entrance and shoved it into the slightly brighter (but still dark) corridor. Ayaya took the package tenderly. It was about half a metre long and fifteen centimetres thick.
"That's ten hits," the voice from the doorway explained.
Drugs?! I wondered in shock.
I had known it all along! Ayaya was a junkie. It explained a whole lot.
Ayaya frowned.
"Only ten? Is this the same model I asked for?"
Or not drugs...?
The doorway figure nodded again, this time taking a miniscule step forward. I still couldn't make out her features, though.
"It's the latest miniature model of a Callahan full-bore autolock with a customised trigger and double-cartridge thorough gauge. You have fewer rounds because it's only a prototype mini," came the erudite response.
Ayaya nodded, completely unruffled by this explanation.
A GUN?! I screeched in my head.
What the heck was Ayaya going to do with a gun? And how did she understand what had just been said?
"Any kinks that haven't been worked out yet?"
Doorway Figure shook her head.
"The only thing keeping this baby off the records and shelves is the low ammo capacity. Once they figure out a way to increase that without compromising weight and balance in its miniature form, she'll be cleared for regular use."
Ayaya breathed a short puff of air out through her nose and took a decisive hold of the package, which I now knew was a gun.
"This'll do," she stated.
It didn't sound like a very nice way to thank someone, but judging from the relief I could sense in the air, I guess that was the closest Ayaya ever came to expressing her gratitude, at least to this gun dealer.
"Will you be going over to America this week?"
Ayaya nodded.
"Comf-"
She stopped herself and looked around. I stood absolutely still behind my precious potted plant.
"The targets," she resumed, "will be available soon, but this is just an aperitif."
She hefted the package up to show it to Doorway Figure.
"So what's the main course?"
The voice was full of malice and hunger. I knew that whoever this person was, she was bitter with her life.
"Oh, you'll be reading about that in papers soon enough, Maeda-san. Just keep an eye out on the Saturday morning edition," Ayaya chuckled.
Maeda....?
Doorway Figure started to cackle as well, and she took several steps forward and right into the dim light.
Maeda Yuki.
Maeda Yuki and Matsuura Aya were laughing like devils in the corridor of my workplace. Ayaya was holding a gun that Yuki had supplied.
The world was ending.
Without thinking, I slipped away from the plant and edged along the wall to the end of the corridor. Once I turned the corner, I ran like heck to find the first set of stairs down. I had to get out of the building. Had to get home. Had to say something to someone.
But what?
~~~~
And that was how she had left matters. All in a pile of questions. No conclusions. No solutions. Just questions that surfed her brain waves and distracted her from her daily duties. And now, at twelve o'clock in the morning, several days after the incident, she was ready to tell the forum what she had experienced.
She re-opened the main page and found the Postwhoring thread. She hit 'Reply'.
Hello, all.
Now I know that I have an imagination that can sometimes get the better of me, and believe you me, I am the first person who will admit to this. But what I saw three days ago really did happen, and it has taken me these three days to let it swish around in my mind. Three days to analyse it before writing an account.
It all started when I took a lunch break...
~~~~
...
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I wanted to quote some of my favorite stuff, but then I realized I would just be quoting the whole chapter. Lol at everything, especially the mention of fanfics every five sentences and Estrea-sama's POV.
Okay I lied, I'm going to quote this because I've read it five times and I'm still laughing.
Maeda Yuki.
Maeda Yuki and Matsuura Aya were laughing like devils in the corridor of my workplace. Ayaya was holding a gun that Yuki had supplied.
The world was ending
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I'M IN THE STORY!!! :lol:
Yes I did see an Ayaya lookalike while on break from work, and I did nearly choke on my food. And yes I was reading. How did you guess? XD
So it turns out that I spotted a dastardly plot in progress. Why weren't you guys online enough during AX? I could have warned you guys! XD
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Haha, it's an Estrea chapter! That is just pure awesomeness. But Essy dear, see, you could have stopped Ayaya in her plot and been the hero(ine?) who saved H!P!! Then you wouldn't have had to worry about what to write about for a good while. :P
Darn those Singaporean Japanese UFW weapons dealers... >.>;
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^Yeah but I am not skilled in the art of close combat (unlike Dinny...), so I wasn't sure if I could take both of them down before either of them shot me. XD
That and I didn't want to get fired from my job in case the Japanese did buy over my company. >_>
:P
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LOL
Yay! Estrea is in the fic!! XD
Estrea! You could have stopped Ayaya!!!! And to think that Maeda took part in her evil plan! :O Not so innocent anymore in my eyes! :P
Edit: Firefly :heart:
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NO GORAM WAY! :shock:
You did NOT just referenced a reference I made from my favorite shiniest sci-fi western in this here part of the 'verse. And to use it to describe Ayaya's tri-pastelated coagulating muscle inhibitor gun... :stunned:
So now Maeda Yuki's involved? Who's next? Inaba Atsuko? Satoda Mai?
Should I worry for Estrea's life? What if Ayaya has spies here? What if she actually reads these threads? If she or somebody else goes after Estrea then we'll never get to find out what happens next in All Aboard. :cry: :tantrum:
btw, this is what I was referring to:
Vera (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXccNHpB9k4#normal)
Joss Whedon is probably gonna kill me. No, he's gonna send Reavers or an Alliance Operative after me. Scratch that, Summer Glau (a.k.a. River Tam) is gonna end my sad, pathetic, insignificant life...with her brain.
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Whoot, Vera. Another browncoat reference found in the random 'verse. Lovin' the story Commie keep it coming.