I've been so incredibly depressed lately, that nothing good has come out of my head. I figure the more I write this stuff out, the more my emotions will cleanse.
Warning, I put a tiny, tiny mention of abuse in this chapter.
Morning Won't Come.
Nono pulled the car over onto the side of the road, sobbing loudly into her hand, the tears making it difficult to see the scenery around her. In the passenger seat, her best friend watched worriedly as Nozomi jerked the car into park. Ai felt her heart constrict at seeing how broken the girl had become, even though she had been fine a couple hours ago.
Then again, she was obviously not fine.
It was one A.M., the two had been at the popular teenage dance club and Aibon had been having the time of her life, showing off on the dance floor with random boys and just being wild. She'd thought that Nono was having fun too, until at about midnight, she'd started complaining about not feeling well and had disappeared farther out into the club. She hadn't thought anything of it, had even assumed that the girl had gone home and left Aibon to fend for herself on a ride home.
At ten to one, though, the older girl had come and dragged Aibon off the dance floor and the two had headed to the car. Still feeling the music in her system, Ai hadn't noticed anything wrong with Nono until she'd suddenly started crying. Then, Aibon fell from her high and was brought back to why they'd been at the club in the first place.
Nono was never much for a party, always the quiet girl who went home right after school everyday, until she'd met Aibon, the wild child troublemaker. Despite their differences, the two had hit it off immediately, Aibon's talkative spirit slowly warming up Nono's untrusting heart. For two years the girls had shared almost everything in their lives with each other, until this weekend when Aibon had learned about the first of two secrets Nono had admitted to keeping from her.
"I don't know what to do!" Nozomi sobbed uncontrollably, resting her face on the steering wheel. Ai felt a twinge of guilt for dragging her friend out when she'd known that the girl hadn't wanted to go. She should have know that after something so serious that Nono would have just wanted to deal with things quietly.
Ai felt her eyes drawn once again to the bruises that had become visible when Nono's long sleeves had riden up on her arms and once again cursed the man who had put them there. "We'll put him in jail for a long time." Aibon tried to reassure her friend, but Nozomi only sobbed harder.
"It's not about that." Nono sniffled in an attempt to control her tears, "I'm in love with you."
Confused, Aibon blinked at Nozomi, "Well, I love you, too-"
"No, Aibon, I'm in love with you." Her willpower failed and Nono started crying again.
Stunned, the younger girl could only flounder for something to say, "Nono, you know I like you, but I like boys." They had done sexual things together many times, and Aibon had thought that they both knew that it was just for fun. In fact, she wanted to kiss Nono now, but knew that it would only give the girl the wrong idea, "...Why didn't you tell me...?"
Nozomi sayed silent, unable to form coherent words at the moment. She concentrated on her breathing and slowly calmed down from sobs to sniffles. She pulled the car back onto the road. Aibon turned forward and felt the awkwardness clear a little. She smiled, eager to forget this incident, "So, what do you want to do tomorrow night?"
Nono sniffled back some more tears and forced a smile, "Whatever you want is fine with me."
Dawn Lasts Forever
Sitting on Ai's bed, Nozomi watched her friend update her online blog thing and completely ingore her. Despite her best efforts, Nono felt anger well up in her chest, Aibon had been home all day and she picks now to do something she could do anytime? She should be entertaining her guest, that's what a good host does. The brat had no manners.
Insecurities started creeping up on her again, though, and Nono felt doubt wash away her anger. Did her friend still care about her? Nozomi knew that recently she'd been pushing Ai's buttons trying to figure out an answer to that question, and the girl had threatened to really stop caring, but she didn't mean it, right?
Right?
"Will you please come lay down with me?" Nono asked defeatedly. There was no way Aibon would deny a direct request like that and all Nono wanted was a little cuddle time.
With an exasperated sigh, Aibon turned off the monitor and climbed up underneath the covers, curling herself around Nono reluctantly, the two facing each other. They were silent for a while.
Against her better judgement and already knowing the outcome, Nono quietly declared, "I love you."
"I know." Aibon didn't miss a beat and Nono felt tears well up in her eyes. She purposely turned her back to Aibon, knowing as she did it that it would hurt her friend. Guilt swelled in her and Nono was about to roll back over, when Aibon buried her head in Nozomi's back, crying quietly.
Nono immediately turned to cradle Aibon's head, allowing the older girl to sob into her chest. Instead of feeling bad about this development, Nono just felt numb. "I'm sorry I can't love you. I know what it's like, so it makes me feel bad whenever you hangout with me and Asami."
Nono felt a slight twinge at the mention of Konno Asami, Aibon's friend from school. She knew that the two had a connection, and that even though they both claimed to like boys, Ai had told Nono that she'd made out with Asami a few times. Nozomi liked the girl, she saw everything in her that Aibon did.
Ai calmed down eventually, and the two lay still in each other's arms for a while. "How do you feel about me?" Nono had to ask, it was what she needed to know.
"You're like the sister I never had, even though I like doing sexual things with you. That's kind of a weird way to put things, but..." Ai let herself trail off.
"And how do you feel about Asami?" Now Nono was just dwelling into torture. She wasn't sure why she asked, but she needed to clear things up.
Aibon paused, knowing that she had to tell the truth, "She makes me happy."
Nono felt sick to her stomach, but oddly no tears came to her eyes. She just nodded and continued to cuddle with Aibon until the younger girl fell into a restful sleep. When her soft snores filled the small room, Nono disengaged herself from Ai's arms and legs and left the apartment.
Sitting in her car a few minutes later, Nono ran the conversation through and swallowed down some of the seemingly endless tears. "Why can't I make you happy?"
The Sun Always Sets
Nono thumbed through her contacts, passing over Aibon's name again and again. It had been two weeks since she'd seen the other girl and the sick feeling in her stomach hadn't left. She didn't know how much longer she could handle the torture that Ai was unconsciously putting her through.
Maybe Aibon was feeling just as awkward about everything as Nono was. Maybe she didn't want to see the girl that both agreed was clingy. Maybe she just hated Nono now and wanted to forget about her as soon as possible. Maybe she was just happy with Asami and wanted Nono out of her life.
Nozomi felt her heart constrict at the thought and opened up the options on the contact info. She scrolled the cursor down to erase.
If she had know that love was going to be so painful, Nono would have locked herself up in her room and never come out. How could a simple connection with someone make her so incredibly miserable?
She pressed okay and her phone popped up a message. "Are you sure?" it asked.
"Yes." Nono answered, pressing the corresponding option. Aibon's name disappeared from her contacts list.
The sick feeling grew worse in Nono's stomach.
----I feel a little better now...
Topic: Dark Side of Nowhere (Updated: Guilt) (Read 7586 times)