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Author Topic: Berry Beautiful [Volume 2]  (Read 113249 times)

Offline slasha

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 34: The Insanity of Pain]
« Reply #240 on: July 15, 2008, 03:55:17 AM »
So Risako doesn't remember that kiss. It seems sort of better that way.

And about Captain/Jun...NOOOOOOO :angry: !!! She knows better than that.

Offline Isaura.Tsuji

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 34: The Insanity of Pain]
« Reply #241 on: July 18, 2008, 06:21:56 AM »
this chapter was so  :O!
all that happen to Miya, Risako doesn't remember that kiss, and Saki with Jun  :O :O :O!

what other things has changed?  :?
poor Miya, she's with a lot of problems

and like Loser87 said "A way for them to start over from the beginning", i hope so  :heart:
next chapter please! ^^

Offline missing-maiha

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 34: The Insanity of Pain]
« Reply #242 on: July 30, 2008, 06:32:18 PM »
okay if captain really does what it sounds like now...i will quit reading berry beautiful... :lol: seriously, i don't want to read of something like this.....so i really hope it won't turn out the way it looks now...so who knows maybe chapter 35 will be the last chapter i read
you really know how cliffhangers work though

Offline rokun

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 34: The Insanity of Pain]
« Reply #243 on: September 18, 2008, 07:21:01 AM »
Ack nearly fourth page!!! I guess it's time to bump this up a little. :P Of course, I'm not doing it randomly... I'm almost finished with a new chapter that hopefully will get posted soon, so I'm going to take the opportunity to do some comment replies to all you lovely people. :) Hopefully you haven't forgotten everything yet...

ayase: You'll be getting some Miya-Risako in the next chapter definitely. :lol: There's been far too little of that around here lately... Who's going to kill Jun? lol. You'll have to wait and see whether it would be worth it or not. ;)

mode: You didn't think Jun would just fade away without a trace, did you? :) I suppose Momo was the logical conclusion, but she's in the hospital at this time due to her last girlfriend and well... there may be more to come with that. ;) I'll just say that Saki doesn't get exactly what she's looking for with Jun. But her being how she is, how much will that matter? Remember the slight bi-polar-ness... No matter what's going on in her personal life, she feels it is her responsibility to be strong as Captain of Berryz, and that dichotomy causes some odd happenings... such as one encounter that comes up in this next chapter.  :yep: As far as Risako and her memory goes, just look at it this way: something might be gone, but there's still plenty of room for many more memories!!!

berryzkouboumm: Glad you enjoyed the chapter. :) As for your question for Saki... The last chapter gave some insight into her psyche, and this one will give a little more. :) She's a girl that has quite a lot on her mind, even though she doesn't always show it so much...

Loser: Yay for an epic comment! :D This will probably be the last one for a while now that you're so busy with your crappy college work though, huh? Uh oh, it looks like I have to quote you...
Quote from: Loser87
So, Miyabi does have immense power more than she could possibly handle...
It's starting to maybe look that way, huh? Kuromi and "Nacchi"'s warnings should be some indication... but it may be a little while before that comes up again. It's like the little bump that you may not even think anything of until eventually it gets too much to handle and you find out it's cancerous... What do you think Momo would think of that? Not to mention Saki and Risako...
Quote from: Loser87
MIYA AND RISAKO COMMENTS
If you guys loved the part in that chapter, you're going to love the next one too. Risako's image of innocence and purity has been riding a fine line for a while now... How long will it be able to hold up? How will that affect the other girls (whose opinions of her you'll get to see a bit more in this next chapter as well). Stay tuned! :D
Quote from: Loser87
ABOUT CAPTAIN
Nobody's very happy with that, huh? Unfortunately in life not everything is all peaches and cream... or perhaps cheesecake is a better reference in this instance... But anyway. Saki sure feels like she's pathetic after what's happened. Bad breakups can really be killer, especially with a first and such significant love as this. I'm not sure she really knows what to think, despite all the insights into her mindset we're getting. I guess it's time to see what kind of person Jun really is, as well as her... It's in these situations that kind of thing really comes out. It will be interesting to see what Momo does now. :)

wordsworth: Yay glad to see you reading! :D Hopefully you're still around after all this time... lol. So much talk about Jun and Saki. XD Wonder why...

slasha: You think it seems better that Risako doesn't remember? Perhaps thinking along the lines of the innocence argument presented by Loser, ne?

Isaura.Tsuji: There are always new beginnings :) I wonder where this one will start from. Miya definitely does have a lot of problems, and no real end in sight at the moment.

missing-maiha: I hope you do know how cliffhangers work and stick with it. :) Read the next chapter, onegai!  :mon pray2:





Offline ayase909

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 34: The Insanity of Pain]
« Reply #244 on: September 18, 2008, 05:50:52 PM »
update soon.....author-san!!! :tantrum: :nya: :on hypto:




Offline rokun

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 34: The Insanity of Pain]
« Reply #245 on: September 19, 2008, 09:18:53 AM »
Yay! I'm glad to see somebody's still around! :D At long last, here's finally the next chapter in the Days of Our Berryz Lives... Err, I mean Berry Beautiful. And this chapter deals with much that is Berry Beautiful indeed. I seemed to have gotten over-flowery with much of my language, so I hope you guys appreciate it. :oops: Anyway, yoi.... staato!


Chapter 35

Saki wasn’t sure what time it was when she crept silently into their hotel, but it was nearly completely quiet in the lobby. No one was even stationed at the desk, though she knew someone would come if called. Outside along the way there had only been the few stray late night partiers walking the long way home from karaoke or some such since it was far too late for the trains to be running. She almost wondered why they didn’t just wait the extra time until they’d start their schedule for the new day.

The silence was what she preferred right now though, as it let her completely clear her head of troubling thoughts. It was long since she had finished crying, but she knew her eyes would still be swollen from it, as well as the lack of sleep the night before. Plus, she wasn’t sure she had many more tears to shed. What was done was done.

When she reached her floor, she got off and wandered slowly down the hall past the other rooms, pausing just before… hers. She’d heard that Risako was to move in tonight, and she wasn’t sure that she liked the thought of that more than Momoko being in there or not. Risako was her best friend though, so perhaps it was best to leave them to each other… to love each other perhaps? All along Saki had known of the relationship between the two, except of course for some obviously vital facts, but she had thought that somehow Miyabi still could really love just her…

She laid her fingertips lightly on the door, leaning near to it and closing her eyes. Keeping completely still, she thought she could almost hear the breathing of the sleeping girls within. She didn’t know how, but she knew she was in there. She pulled away. That was no longer her concern.

She continued on down to her own room and opened the door quietly. She maybe had the chance to get a few hours sleep before needing to be up for work again. She wondered idly if Momo would be out of the hospital and back again – tomorrow a photo shoot including the whole group this time was planned for their new single. She had been looking forward to hearing about it, as she always did with a new single, so it should have been a joyous day…

As she lay down in her bed, not bothering to change out of her clothes, she thought about the past twenty-four hours. They began with a thing she thought was so wonderful coming to an end, and the period itself had ended with an experience that could have been even worse, all having consequences that could affect the rest of her life.

“Saki, what is this?” he asked as they sat on his couch just like they had when they last parted.

She looked up at him, though her eyes felt hollow. “I just want…” she said softly, and crawled into his lap, leaning up to kiss him.

Before she made contact though, his hands on her shoulders pushed her gently away. “This is not what you want,” he said, looking at her sternly. She stared back, at a loss.

He looked back carefully into her eyes as if trying to read her thoughts. “Look,” he began, “I don’t know what’s happened, but this isn’t right.”

“Is…” she said, about to cry again, “Isn’t this what you want? Am I not good enough for you anymore either?”

She felt his hands tighten on her shoulders as if considering the temptation, and anxiety over what she was giving herself over to washed over her body once again.

“Why are you saying that?” he said in a tight voice. “You’re more than good enough for anyone. Too good, if anything. Too good for me, for one…”

Despite her burgeoning tears, she nearly broke a laugh at that. “Too good?” she repeated. “If you only knew how ‘good’ I was…”

She broke off as she felt his finger lift her chin slightly to meet his eyes again. She hadn’t realized she was avoiding them. “You asked if this is what I want. Yes, I wanted you. I wanted you so badly… but that’s exactly the thing. I wanted
you. And I needed you to want me, something to make me different from all the other guys that look at you day in and day out.” She wanted to look away from his eyes that seemed to be staring straight into her, those eyes she had thought she was in love with, but he wouldn’t let her. “You want something now, but it’s not me.”

“Yes it is—” she protested, but he cut her off again.

“No,” he repeated. “When you were my girlfriend, I knew it was about you and me, not some cheap fling. It was my own fault that I couldn’t handle the role you needed me for, as well as the image you have to portray. This… what you’re doing now… This is completely different. But it’s another role I can’t handle… and I know you couldn’t either. I don’t know what’s driven you to it, what’s happened since I…” he looked down, finally breaking her gaze.

She was at a loss for words. ‘…what’s driven you to it,’ he’d said. Was she really at that low a state? Were things truly that horrible? Yes she’d just lost the girl she loved… but was that the end? She hadn’t even given a chance to anything that could come after, and she had almost…

“Please…” she said again, and she felt him tense, perhaps thinking she was pressing on despite his words, and perhaps losing some of his own resistance. After all, it was basically part of her job to make people want her, to make them keep coming back time and again. “Just hold me?”


She sighed, curling up tightly into a ball and hugging the pillow to her chest. He’d held her, but not for long, and then she’d left, hardly able to even look at him as she did so. Did it take him to show her how stupid she was being? It would have been so easy for him to… Well, it was over now, and she was back in her bed alone, the morning due to dawn in just a few short hours, after which she would do her best to see how she could start her life over again.



Miyabi woke to the darkness of the too-early morning, her body still feeling as if it was being carried along the wind. She had been flying, and it was a remarkable experience. Beneath the bright, pale moon she had her arms spread as the wind carried her onward to nowhere in particular. She could see the cities beneath her with all their lights and some sounds drifting upward, but she was free. She was alone, and she was free.

As her body reoriented itself though, she felt only the softness of the bed and the lightly perfumed scent of the sheets.

Perfumed? Hotel sheets weren’t perfumed…

She opened her eyes, and as they adjusted, she felt the warmth of the girl lying next to her as she breathed slowly in her own sleep. Risako’s face was barely centimeters away, her hands resting just beneath her chin as she likely viewed dreams of her own.

Miyabi smiled. She didn’t know why she had dreams about being alone – she didn’t even like sleeping alone, a preference that had become even stronger lately since she always had someone there whenever she needed that intimacy.

Her smile faded slightly. That someone was not this girl. Yet, this was who she had, someone she now thought she could always count on. She hadn’t even told her yet about all that happened between her and Saki – at least, apparently not when she would remember it – yet the girl let her into her bed… as friends? She wondered. Had she and Risako ever really been just friends?

She reached out slowly to touch the girl’s hands, and when she made contact, Risako began muttering something in her sleep and moving slightly. Miyabi froze. “Miya…” she could make out among the mumbling, and the named girl’s heart leapt up into her throat, beating forcefully. The younger moved closer to her and slid her arms around her back as if snuggling with a giant teddy bear. She burrowed her face into Miyabi’s neck before coming to a rest in an apparently comfortable position. “I love you…” she heard the girl mumble, and this time her heart nearly stopped.

Not even daring to breathe for a minute, she felt only what her hyperaware senses told her about the girl that had wrapped herself around her. She’s sleeping… Miyabi thought. She’s dreaming… She doesn’t know what she’s saying. But then if that was the case, why was she dreaming that she loved her? Despite herself, Miyabi blushed even though there was no one conscious to see it.

“…Risako?” she whispered, wanting to make sure the girl was asleep. There was no response.

Well, she wasn’t sure whether she was comfortable with the position she was currently in after all that happened, but she decided there was nothing to do about it. She didn’t want to wake the girl. After all, it wasn’t like she was doing something to hurt her. In fact, feeling someone hold her like this after all that happened felt… good. “This dream of you holding me…” she murmured, thinking of one of the many songs she’d learned, then almost laughed. This wasn’t a dream – for her at least – and she also wasn’t a great artist, though she tried.

Completely giving up, she wrapped her own arms around the younger girl, snuggling in as well in an attempt to return to her own dreams. Perhaps she would no longer be flying alone. Before falling asleep much more quickly than she expected, she had a vision of a faint smile on the lips of the girl in her arms.



When she opened her eyes again it was morning, but she realized she was alone. The space next to her was vacant, the blankets pulled down at the corner, and her arm draped across the bed where the other girl had been. The events from the middle of the night drifted ethereally through her memory, and she wondered if all of it had been a dream. Blinking her eyes, she took account once again of her being alone. Had she even dreamed going to bed with the girl? A soft scent of perfume wafting past her nose made her look down at the pinkness of the blankets that covered her, and she couldn’t help but smile. No, that at least was no dream.

She heard the sound of water running from the washroom, and a moment later a girl wearing an overlarge t-shirt and similarly baggy boxer shorts emerged, giving a glance in her direction. “Morning,” she mumbled before walking groggily toward her luggage. Risako was definitely not a morning person.

“Good morning,” Miyabi responded, watching the girl as she dug into her bag, still not moving from her prone waking position.

Risako cast an eye askance back at her. “Are you going to get up?” she asked. “They might not have expected you at the photo shoot today, but that’ll change once I tell them you spent the night here.”

Miyabi continued smiling at her as she turned back to rifling through her luggage. “You wouldn’t do that to your best friend, would you? Ijiwaru…

Risako spared another glance back to stick her tongue out at her before pulling out some clothes and tossing them on the bed. “Well, I’m not going to change until you get up, so if you stay there you’ll have my lateness on your head too.” Then she sat stubbornly on the bed next to her clothes, crossing her arms.

“All right, all right,” Miyabi said, groaning while sitting up as if it required extreme effort. “I wouldn’t want to be responsible for the princess missing her photo-op…”

“Hmph,” Risako grumbled, arms still crossed. “Yeah, you’d do well not to forget that about me being a princess. All that bowing and stuff. Being this pretty is quite a responsibility after all, and should be respected.”

“Could you be more full of yourself, your highness?” Miyabi teased, and the girl turned to give her a mock stricken look.

“Well I…!” Risako began, turning more fully toward her now, but Miyabi thought it was time to take advantage of the opportunity she was presented with. Suddenly seeming quite awake and spry, she lunged toward the other girl and tackled her to the bed, tickling her in all the right spots to get her giggling in a very un-princess-like way indeed.

When Miyabi’s hands tired she stopped, but still hovered above the younger girl, whose shirt had been shifted above her belly button during the struggle. They looked into each others’ eyes a minute before Miyabi broke the tension with a smile.

“I missed these times together,” she said honestly.

“Me too,” Risako replied simply.

“It’s a good thing you got rid of that loser boyfriend of yours. The Ebiru duo can rise again!!”

Risako giggled a little again and playfully slapped Miyabi’s arm. “He was not a loser,” she said. “He just wasn’t right for me at this time…”

“Right…” Miyabi said, not bothering to conceal her heavy sarcasm. She coughed. “Loser…” she said, and quickly coughed again.

“Psht…” Risako protested again.

“Oh my god…” came another voice from the doorway, and both girls turned to stare as Chinami’s eyes nearly bugged out at them in return.

“Chii!” Risako greeted warmly, but the other girl spun quickly and nearly ran out, the door swinging shut behind her.

“Shit…” Miyabi growled, and pulled up, looking down at Risako’s halfway hiked up shirt and her own legs still nestled comfortably beneath the pink blankets.

“What?” Risako asked, looking at her in bewilderment. “What’s the matter?”

“I have to run after her before…” Miyabi responded shortly, nearly jumping out of the bed.

“Before what?” Risako asked, but Miyabi in her hurry didn’t respond again.

A moment later saw her running down the hall, a leg half-raised as she pulled a pair of sweats on the rest of the way, looking wildly all around her for a sign of where the untimely interrupting girl had gone.

“If I were Chii-chan, where would I be…?” she mumbled to herself in thought, and having successfully donned her sweats, leaned close to a door to listen inside. She could hear nothing, so she continued on down the hall. Oddly, she found the girl just standing at the elevator, nervously tapping her leg as she looked up impatiently at the floor indicator.

“Chii-chan!” Miyabi half-shouted, and the girl spun to face her before quickly turning back to the elevator and mashing the down button in an of course unsuccessful attempt to make it arrive faster.

“Hey, why are you running away?” Miyabi asked as she ran up to the girl herself, though stopping before getting too close.

“How could you!?” Chinami cried after turning to look her in the face. Miyabi fell back slightly. “After Captain…” she stuttered, “And you… and me…”

“Let me explain!” Miyabi insisted. “Wait, and you? What does…? Nevermind. It wasn’t what you think.”

“What I think?” Chinami said exasperatedly, not seeming to notice the elevator open behind her. A suited salaryman frowned out at them in annoyance when it became obvious they wouldn’t be boarding the elevator, but at a glare from Miyabi he only quickly pushed the button to close the door.

“What I think…!?” Chinami spluttered again, brandishing a dangerous-looking finger at her. Then she looked around them as if she didn’t want anyone to hear what she had to say next. Then she began to whisper, in increasing pitch, “Even though you’re dating Captain, who is one of the most wonderful, kind, caring, sensitive people in the world, it looked like you were just in bed with someone else. And not just someone else! Our baby!” Then she even leaned forward and sniffed at Miyabi. “And her smell… it’s all over you!” Miyabi stared with increasing worry at the finger that was wagging at her, self-consciously sniffing slightly at her own shoulder. Well, she wouldn’t need perfume today…

“Did you…” the girl stuttered again. “Did you…?” She widened her eyes and gestured to Miyabi with both her face and hands as if expecting her to know what she was talking about and prodding her to finish for her.

“Did I what?” Miyabi asked through clenched teeth, wanting the girl to say what was on her mind.

“You know!” Chinami burst out, the finger waggling again. Obviously she wasn’t going to say any more.

Miyabi took a deep breath to gather her thoughts before responding. “First of all,” she said in a tight voice, holding up a hand and ticking off a finger with the other thumb. “Saki and I broke up, so I’m free to do whatever the hell I want to do.”

“’Captain’!” Chinami hissed in a quick correction, but Miyabi ignored her.

“Whatever,” was all Miyabi replied. “Second, we did not. We just share a room, and it is not rare to share a bed. We do it all the time.”

“But—” the girl protested again, but Miyabi shushed her with a finger to her lips, making the other girl appear taken aback now as well.

“But nothing. We’re best friends. There’s nothing unnatural anywhere.”

She removed the finger, and Chinami lowered her eyes finally, toeing the floor beneath. “I still think it’s not fair to Captain. Whatever might have been the case before, things are different now, you know.” She shot a warning glance up at Miyabi. “This is the kind of thing we were afraid of. Any of us dating at all is troublesome, but dating each other can cause all kinds of problems… like this.”

“Like what?” Miyabi asked calmly, holding Chinami’s gaze strongly. “I don’t see a problem here.”

Chinami was quiet a second. “We’re loyal to our Captain,” she said finally in a low voice, her own eyes with determined and sincere strength within them. This time it was Miyabi’s turn for silence.

“Are you now?” came a voice from down the hall, and Miyabi turned smoothly to see Saki walking toward them, smiling brightly at this early hour in the morning. “Now that’s some good news to hear first thing in the morning.” She arrived to wrap an arm around Chinami’s neck and squeeze it gently. “Glad to see I’m so loved,” she said, turning her gaze to Miyabi.

“Of course you are…” Chinami mumbled, a little thrown off at the peppy appearance of their Captain despite everything she’d learned.

Miyabi though couldn’t look away from the dark eyes gazing up at her from the small girl. True she was smiling brightly and had a spring to her step and voice, but her eyes told a completely different story. Her eyes seemed almost completely empty, and there were even light red rings around them that Miyabi tried not to think about too hard.

She felt pangs of regret and guilt for a moment before she remembered that none of this was only her fault. She had most definitely not wanted to break up with the girl either. Those things that Chinami said were very true; in her opinion as well Captain was the most wonderful, caring, kind, and sensitive person she knew, and she would add even more superlatives such as immensely loving, warm, compassionate, generous… She could go on and on. There was a reason she had fallen in love with the girl, and facing the possibility of a future without her was one of the hardest things she thought she could do.

As she thought of all that, her own face became hardened into stone, and she tried not to let those eyes get to her. Apparently she was expected to say something, but her mouth seemed sealed shut tight. Eventually though the Captain broke the silence again.

“I hope you two are as eager to hear about the new single as I am. Although you know I’m not the biggest fan of photo shoots…” She blushed slightly. “I keep wondering when they’ll realize how unphotogenic I am.” She glanced between the two other girls. “Not that you guys have ever had something like that to worry about.”

“Are you kidding?” Chinami asked softly, apparently still a little flustered at the unexpected direction of the conversation. “When Berryz started I hated having my picture taken. I felt like I was so awkward all the time.” She looked at the stares that greeted her. “…Not that it’s any different now!”

“Oh come on,” Miyabi said, somehow distracted from those eyes. “You were the cutest thing back then, and still are. The kiddies can’t get enough of you.” Chinami blushed fiercely.

Miyabi turned back to Saki to see her watching her calmly with those eyes, which somehow didn’t seem as lost as just a moment ago. “But I thought I was the cutest thing?” the captain said in her sweetest voice. “Or were all those compliments concerning my height just to make me feel better?” Both girls stared back at her now, flabbergasted. Miyabi for one had no idea how to respond to that.

“Well, I’ll see you and the rest at the photo shoot, ne?” Saki continued, releasing Chinami and walking smoothly into the elevator that had just happened to open up right at that time. “I have some things to do before then, including picking up Momo from the hospital. Oh yeah!” she said, hurrying her speech before the door closed. “I didn’t tell you! I just received a mail from her this morning saying she’ll be at the shoot. Berryz will finally be whole again!” At that, her time ran out, and the door shut her off from her two kouhai.

Miyabi stared at the door for she couldn’t tell how long, and after with a jolt realizing what she was doing, she glanced over at Chinami to see she had been doing the same thing. The other girl looked back at her with a blank expression, and Miyabi smiled and shrugged.

“That’s our Captain…” she said in a ‘what else would you expect?’ sort of way.

Chinami just stared back at her. “Yeah…” she said, making the word long and drawn out. “I… I need to check on Kumai-chan…” And with that, she walked back down the hallway, swaying slightly. If Miyabi didn’t know better she would have thought the girl was drunk.

Then the last thing Saki said hit her. She had better head back to Risako as well for what more small comfort she might be able to take. Like Saki, but for quite a different reason, she was now also not looking forward to this photo shoot.



Later in the day found Miyabi leaning through somewhat of a cubby hole to watch Saki pose for her shots. The girl hadn’t paid much attention to her all day, but at least she wasn’t completely ignored. After the strange encounter in the morning, she’d seemingly gone back to her usual self as their Captain, with all the smiles and support of them all that entailed. Still, at times such as now, Miyabi noticed that the emotion wasn’t completely gone from her eyes. Still, the girl did an extremely good job of turning it into only an expression of her beauty.

Miyabi sighed. She missed her so much – it wasn’t like she never saw her or anything since they still worked together, and somehow seemingly normally now, but she missed the girl being hers. Well, life was full of changes, wasn’t it? Still, she wondered how things would go in the future. She and Risako were now getting along extremely well again, but she wasn’t sure how Saki would react if they became a pair.

“Stop staring at her butt!” Chinami whispered exasperatedly into her ear. She ignored her and continued staring. It was really quite nice actually, especially in the form-fitting white dresses they all wore today.

Their new single they’d learned was to be called Tsukiatteru no ni Kataomoi. It seemed quite an energetic number, and the crew had done a good job making them look like Greek goddesses or something. She wondered exactly what part of Greek culture they were supposed to be portraying…

She felt a tug on her wrist again as the cameras flashed a few more shots of Saki. “Stop it, Chii,” she whispered behind her shoulder, but her glance caught someone else there, and she quickly pulled back out of the cubby hole.

“Ha!” Chinami said triumphantly, and leaned in to take her place. Giving the back of the girl’s head a glare, Miyabi turned to Risako.

“You made me lose my spot!” she complained to the younger ebiru.

“Oh?” Risako said, raising an eyebrow. She also looked quite pretty today… definitely not really like her age. “Do you think I regret stopping you from being able to stare at her?”

“I wasn’t…” Miyabi began.

“What? Staring at her?” Risako asked, the cute little pout forming on her lips. “You’ve only been leaned over there for a good five minutes and hardly moving otherwise… It was time you gave someone else a chance.”

“You’re mean,” Miyabi said, poking the other’s shoulder.

In response, Risako leaned in close, pulling her a bit further away from Chinami. “What’s mean is gawking at someone else like that after this morning while you’re looking as beautiful as you are now,” the girl said in a low voice so no one else could hear, and Miyabi could detect a trace of a blush.

“After this morning?” Miyabi asked carefully. The girl didn’t remember, did she? “What exactly happened this morning that would make that a problem?” Then she unconsciously began twirling a finger in her hair, having become distracted. “You think I look beautiful?” she asked idly, feeling like blushing herself.”

“Of course you are,” Risako said in an even quieter voice, not at all able to meet Miyabi’s eyes. “You look so grown up and mature… I only wish I could look half as good…”

Half as good? The girl was being ridiculous. First off, she was not… Well, Miyabi thought, glancing to the side to a mirror that had been set up for them, and smiled. I guess I could look a lot worse… She shook the thoughts from her head. That wasn’t the point! She always wished she was even near as pretty as Risako, or even Saki… She lifted her face a little and stroked her chin. Then she heard giggling from in front of her and blinked.

“And everyone thinks I’m vain!” Risako teased, her eyes sparkling as she now seemed not bashful at all in meeting Miyabi’s. “All it takes is one compliment, and we lose you from the world…”

Miyabi was about to prepare some sort of retort before something caught the corner of her eye and she turned to find another girl staring between the two of them with slightly buggy and curious eyes. Miyabi nearly jumped back in surprise. “Momo…” she said without thinking.

“Hey Momo!” Risako chirped. “How’s the day back at work going?”

“It’s going quite well, thank you,” the small girl responded, smiling up at Risako. Miyabi was a bit confused at what she saw in her eyes. They were full of pride and caring toward the youngest of them. Of course, there was nothing too strange about that – they were all friendly with each other of course, and the rest were most definitely concerned with their baby princess, but Miyabi saw something different in this girl’s eyes that went beyond normal consideration. It was almost… motherly.

“Your shoot is after Captain’s, right?” Risako asked.

Momoko nodded. “I just got out of makeup. What do you think?” She twirled a little circle on the spot. “I’m just awe-inspiringly beautiful, aren’t I?”

Risako giggled. “At least they did a good job covering up the bruise,” she said, but then quickly shut her mouth, looking nervously at Miyabi.

“Ah yes,” Momoko responded. “I was wondering how that would work out.” She turned toward Miyabi. “I really must be more careful walking home late at night.”

Miyabi, ignoring the girl as best she could for the moment, was looking into Risako’s eyes. Somehow the girl knew. If she lost some of her memory, why couldn’t it have been of more convenient things like that? Perhaps she just knew Miyabi too well. Either way, the girl now was looking at her with a mix of emotions.

“Excuse me,” Risako said, bowing slightly to the both of them. “I need to prepare for my own shoot. I don’t think all my makeup is quite right…” she explained, patting her cheek slightly before walking away.

Why? Miyabi thought, looking after her. It’s perfect…

Finally, as the girl disappeared through a door, she turned back to see the other girl still standing there watching her quietly, and she nearly jumped again. “Geez Momo…” she breathed in her surprise. “Don’t do that!”

“Don’t do what?” she responded. “I’m just standing here.”

“…Nevermind,” Miyabi said, composing herself. There was just something about Momoko these days. Ever since…

“So how are things?” Momoko asked.

Miyabi hadn’t really gotten the chance to talk to the girl yet today. Sure she’d seen her when she rejoined the others, who were quite happy to see her; some had been happy to see Miyabi too thinking she’d be gone for some reason. She wondered idly how adept Kuromi must be at her work to have been quite that successful with getting everyone around here on the same page about her “condition”. However, she’d not had time alone with the girl she’d punched out just a couple nights earlier, and really, the girl didn’t seem to regard her especially at all… until now. Then again, she could just be acting friendly as she generally used to toward her, especially before the train accident. It was a rather neutral question, after all.

“I’m all right,” she said, wondering if the girl could read her mind and discern how untrue that actually was. No thanks to you… she thought, rather hoping Momoko would hear that little snippet of her thoughts.

“That’s good to hear!” the girl replied, apparently oblivious. Well, that perhaps was one of Miyabi’s concerns she could rest easily on. Momoko then also glanced over to where Risako had disappeared. “You two seem to be getting along well.”

“Yeah,” Miyabi said neutrally. “It’s been a long time since we were roommates. It’s been a good time for… catching up.”

“True, true…” Momoko replied, still staring off away from Miyabi. “It’s a good start for what you owe her.”

Miyabi hesitated a second. Owe her? What was she talking about? “If you mean when I turned her into a mouse, I’ve tried to apologize time and again for it… and besides, she was such a darn cute mouse I’m not sure her regular form is necessarily that much of an improvement…”

“Oh yes,” Momoko said as if just remembering the event. “That.” She turned back to Miyabi. “Did I ever thank you for bringing me back to life?”

Miyabi’s eyebrows furrowed. That question was unexpected. “You mentioned something about owing me big.”

“But no thanks, huh?” Momoko asked, smiling, and raised a hand toward her eye. “I suppose if I owe you so much, this really isn’t too big a deal, is it?” Miyabi stayed silent. “By the way, with how close you and Rii-chan seem to be today, do you think that’s right considering you and Captain?”

This time Miyabi opened her mouth, but no sound came out. That was right, the girl didn’t really know, did she? She’d been knocked out because of it, but she didn’t know… Now she was making the same comment Chinami had just given her not long ago. “There is no ‘me and Captain’,” she said in a low voice. How many times would she have to explain this today? It wasn’t exactly her favorite thing to do.

“Eh?” Momoko replied, looking confused. “How could there not be?”

Miyabi felt her fists clench almost reflexively. Suddenly she wanted to hit the girl again, but felt like it was a bad idea in their present environment, with Chinami still close by hanging through the cubby hole for a look at the shoot. “There just isn’t, okay? We had a fight and… and that’s it.”

“Oh…” Momoko said, staring off past Miyabi. “I see. Well that explains some things.” She looked up at Miyabi. “But you and Rii-chan are getting along well, right? I suppose I don’t have to warn you to be careful. You know how fragile she is… like porcelain,” she said, grinning.

“Fragile…” Miyabi agreed noncommittally, no real coherent thought going through her head right then.

“Excuse me,” Momoko said. “I think they’re calling me for my shoot.” She headed off around the corner toward the set.

As Miyabi stood there, trying to sort out what was currently in her head, Chinami walked up to her. “Captain’s so beautiful, isn’t she?” the girl said, smiling giddily. “Oh…” she said quickly, her smile fading slightly. “I’m sorry.”

Miyabi closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “No, it’s all right,” she said. “It’s not like I can go on from now and avoid hearing things like that. She is, isn’t she?” she asked, a wistful smile of her own coming to her face. However, it didn’t reach her eyes.

She caught sight of Momoko through the cubbyhole as she passed Saki while they exchanged spots for their respective shoots. She caught the Captain’s arm and whispered something into her ear. Saki nodded, smiling, and as she broke away Momoko turned to smile cheerfully at Miyabi.

She couldn’t very well go on like this, could she? The girl had basically told her to take care of Risako. Perhaps it was time she listened to her for once. After all, despite what she still felt in her heart, Saki was no longer hers to take care of, was she? Plus, the girl generally seemed to get along quite well by herself. Miyabi didn’t think she knew anyone stronger. She would be fine… She nodded to herself, causing Chinami’s brows to knit in confusion. They all would be fine… in time.

Offline missing-maiha

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 35: This Show Must Go On]
« Reply #246 on: September 19, 2008, 12:02:37 PM »
good job  ;) nice story...i like how it turned out...can't wait to read the next chapter  :inlove:

Offline ayase909

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 35: This Show Must Go On]
« Reply #247 on: September 19, 2008, 06:51:31 PM »
all i can say is that  :kneelbow: hands and head down to you oh suguio author-san!

Risako is so cute......that part where she called Miya in her sleep and says "i love you" KYA!!!  :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1:

so sweet....i really love it!  :luvluv2:


And chinami was funny!  :wahaha: acting like that after she saw miya and risako....

for captain..... :hehehe: though it pains my delicate heart seeing the two broke up, since i grew to like saki-chan and miya.....im glad rii-chan finally but slowly realizes the one and truly for her is miyabi! hahahaha :shy2: :shy2: :shy2:

Momo on the other hand....still,  she's acting way too suspicious  :ding:
well, i guess its a good news for her that miya and saki broke up! hahahaha


im sleepy already! berryz nice long chapter!  :on thumbb:




Offline Grisours

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 35: This Show Must Go On]
« Reply #248 on: September 19, 2008, 07:31:38 PM »
Wow, a new chapter!  :cow:

Ok, first of all, Momo confuses me (and kinda bothers me too). I mean, she's all mysterious and stuff, all the time! It's like she knows something all of them don't, whatever that is.
Miya's dealing really well with the break up... Captain not so much, but she did seem better at the end of the chapter. Risako and Chinami are just acting weird, in different ways. Risako doesn't know if she likes Miya or not (or at least it seems like it) and Chii... I can't say much about her, she just acted weird in this chapter. Still, it's nice that she's loyal to Captain.
Keep it up!

Offline slasha

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 35: This Show Must Go On]
« Reply #249 on: September 20, 2008, 01:58:20 AM »
Yay mysterious Momo lol

Crazy Chinami with her mixed signals

I'm surprised with Miya's reaction to her's and Captain's breakup

I'm rambling again...lol. Can't wait for the next chapter.

mode107

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 35: This Show Must Go On]
« Reply #250 on: September 20, 2008, 04:22:13 AM »
Aww, Captains scares me in this chapter, in a sad kind of way. But she does seem like she's starting to move on, so thats good.   

The Chinami in this whole chapter was great! I got a good laugh.

and the Miyabi/Risako, Miya still has to tell her that she and Saki are not together...again, right?  I see Risako acting differently towards the news the second time around...

Update sooooon

Loser87

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 35: This Show Must Go On]
« Reply #251 on: September 20, 2008, 04:34:28 AM »
well this was quite a cute chapter..
I'm extremely relieved nothing really happened between Jun and Saki..
Because if there were you know I'd kick your sorry ass right?

Anyway, the whole Miya/Risako thing was very adorable..
Like they were starting over again..
Minus the whole Saki/Miya fiasco going on..;;

Momo seems to be making a move on her part in my opinion...
But in that discreet way?
Like taking her time for captain but subtle in showing her affections for captain?

Saki in general is still hurt by the whole break up
And is pretty brave to keep up a face..
But the whole break up seems to be really hard on her
that I can't help but think that there might be some serious verbal abuse later on due to miya's and saki's break-up =T

Anyway, its about damn time this story got updated!!

You should update again since you know..
This is like your only current story at the moment =P

UPDATE!

Offline Amarghetta

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 35: This Show Must Go On]
« Reply #252 on: September 20, 2008, 05:32:24 AM »
Quote
A moment later saw her running down the hall, a leg half-raised as she pulled a pair of sweats on the rest of the way, looking wildly all around her for a sign of where the untimely interrupting girl had gone.
Funny imagery, really. I could actually picture Miyabi like that, puffy, messy, bed hair included, too. XD

Quote
“Stop staring at her butt!” Chinami whispered exasperatedly into her ear. She ignored her and continued staring. It was really quite nice actually, especially in the form-fitting white dresses they all wore today.
HAHAHAHA! Chinami's extremely funny in this update.

It's nice that Miya and Risako are doing fine now, but I still worry a bit about Saki.
Also, there's Momo and her strange ways.

Anyway, thanks for updating.
I just realized how much I've missed this...

Offline anonymousdowner

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 35: This Show Must Go On]
« Reply #253 on: September 22, 2008, 12:36:39 AM »
Awww...I love this story this chapter has got to be one of my favorites!
Although I like Miya and Saki I've always wanted Miya and Risako
yes and like loser87 it is like they are starting all over again :) I hope!

Offline rokun

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 35: This Show Must Go On]
« Reply #254 on: September 25, 2008, 09:09:34 AM »
Awww I'm glad to see everyone still interested in the story! And you're right Loser, hopefully I will update this more often for awhile. :lol: However... This week has been insanely busy for me, and even today I have no time to respond to comments like I'd so dearly love to, but over the weekend I did manage to finish a new chapter, so you guys would want that already anyway, wouldn't you? :) This chapter is different in some ways than what I've come out with for a while. Kind of building on Saki's internal emotions from the last couple, this chapter becomes extremely introspective... from Miya's point of view. Not as much action, but a lot of thoughts and abstract questions about life. You know, the kinds of things all teenagers wonder, right? I hope you guys enjoy reading it. :)


Chapter 36

A few weeks later saw them in the same white dresses as they began shooting the PV for Tsukiatteru no ni Kataomoi. It had been a rather uneventful few weeks, for which Miyabi was somewhat thankful as a contrast to all that seemed to happen in such a small amount of time before then.

Not long after the photoshoot they had gone home for school, only returning from time to time for some rehearsal or additional shoot or other. Sometimes it seemed to Miyabi as if aside from school, her whole life was spent in front of some type of camera, with occasional breaks for a concert. Their summer concert had been a success, with Miyabi even enjoying the roles they played as various types of people who would live in a palace… the Berryz Palace of course. The thought of that always made her smile. To them Berryz might seem like a palace of their own sometimes, and if thought of that way, there was only one person who could truly be its princess. Speaking of said princess…

The night after the shoot she and Risako slept again in the same bed, as it felt like the most natural thing to do once again. There were no surprises this time though such as a secret confession in the night or an uninvited visitor getting the wrong idea. Miyabi also didn’t make any further move because she was too concerned about what some of the others had said about her and Saki, as well as her own feelings. She just didn’t think it was time yet to pursue anything else, and felt that some time to herself, with perhaps a few fringe benefits, might even do her some good.

Saki had somehow returned to her normal self as Captain, though Miyabi found she couldn’t manage to exchange any words with her other than what was necessary for their work. Miyabi was satisfied with this for the time being though, as it allowed them to continue living their lives apart, but she knew that surely sometime they would have to confront each other and talk about where they stood. Then again, if one of them started dating someone else before then, it would likely be an easy conversation.

Since Miyabi knew of Momoko’s own love confession to Saki, she honestly felt like it would only be a matter of time before those two drew together just as what seemed to be happening between her and Risako. However, there was no outward sign of that happening. Sure the two eldest in Berryz still hung out quite often as best friends, but nothing seemed different from before.

Then again, Saki had said that she just didn’t think of Momoko in that way… Miyabi wondered if that didn’t change how hard the other girl might take it. Strange and a backstabbing little bitch or not, Miyabi still felt connected to the girl. She supposed raising someone from the dead would do that.

Their rehearsals as Buono were still enjoyable, if for no other reason than that she got the chance to be in front of the camera more often. Of course, teasing Airi was always fun as well, though Momo seemed to be losing some interest in it.

The others seemed content with things appearing to go back to normal as well, and for the first time in a long while Miyabi received very little grief from them – in fact, mostly just the usual teasing about how many lines she gets and such, of which a much larger extent was directed to Risako. Still, one thing did seem slightly different from normal. There was no way to prove it, but Miyabi was sure now that something was going on between Chinami and Yurina. Unlike before, she would see the two of them together quite often, where usually before Maasa had also joined them. Instead, she hung out with Maasa herself during a lot of their free time. It may have felt a bit lonelier than before, but between Maasa and Risako, she felt content with her social life for what it was.

Despite her friends, the feeling of being in front of a camera so much, or else rehearsing for when she would be, only seemed to be getting worse. She thought it was only natural where everyone teased her for being a camera hog, because it was how she’d been trained for so long, hadn’t it? Especially now that there didn’t seem to be any drama going on apart from the stage, she began to lose herself in her work and school. She hadn’t even had the urge to use magic but rarely, something that she regarded with pride since she was able to control it despite the worries of Kuromi and that mysterious woman. Things were definitely starting to settle into their normal, monotonous rhythm once again... though she couldn’t say that the life of a celebrity, even a rather small-time one was necessarily bad.

Fall dawned and began to be reflected in their surroundings, with the trees beginning to lose their leaves in the first sign of the looming winter, spurred on by the September wind and rain, and it seemed the perfect backdrop to the video they were shooting. It had a rather dark tone to it, though contrasted with the purity the white dresses and she supposed they themselves symbolized. It was definitely quite a different filming experience than they were used to. It seemed to take on a very abstract and almost mystical quality, one that Miyabi could very well relate to, but she knew was hard for some of the others to perform within. Risako especially, since she had quite a central role in the video, seemed to struggle at first, though she worked hard to improve her acting, and Miyabi thought she was now doing quite well. Risako always had a dream of being an actress, and she seemed determined to realize that goal in some fashion at least.

On this day, Miyabi had heard that she was to shoot a scene with Saki, and apparently one that was supposed to have a somewhat provocative sense to it, so she felt nervous all day leading up to it as she watched the others film their own similar scenes. She knew it shouldn’t worry her so much now, but as she waited to walk into the studio in what was likely just a few more minutes, she couldn’t help some slight exasperation. After all, she and Saki hadn’t been close in any form since that night and… Well, her job was her job.

As Momoko and Maasa finished filming their scene, she noticed Saki come up next to her and look calmly on while the others wrapped up. “You ready for this?” she asked.

Miyabi wondered how she should respond. Well, she supposed there was no reason to worry too much. It was just their job, after all. And anyway, perhaps it wouldn’t be quite as bad as she thought. “Yeah,” she responded neutrally, and watched as Saki looked on at Momoko saying her arigatous… and wondered.

As they passed each other on the way out, Maasa came up to her and mentioned something about it not being too bad – they just stood and waved their hands a bit – but Miyabi couldn’t help but pay half attention while watching Saki and Momoko smile at each other and hug in greeting.

“That’s good,” Miyabi said, looking back to Maasa, who smiled at her with a raised eyebrow. “I mean, at least we’re not doing anything too stupid,” she followed up quickly.

“Sure…” Maasa said with her eyebrow still half-raised. “I hear they have something special planned for you though, seeing as how adult-looking you are and all. Their main goal seems to be for elegance, like a Greek goddess or something. Isn’t that silly?”

“Yeah,” Miyabi replied. “Silly. The only one around here that’s like any kind of goddess is…” She caught Saki glancing at her out of the corner of her eye as she spoke, and didn’t finish her sentence. “Well I’ll catch you later, okay? I just want to get this over with.”

“Okay…” Maasa said, some slight worry in her voice. “I’ll see you later then.” She began to walk off. “This dress is killing me…”

“So…” Saki said, walking up to her as Momoko followed in Maasa’s wake. “Shall we?” She offered Miyabi her hand, but she only stared at it as if by itself it symbolized everything that had happened between them.

“Why not?” Miyabi responded, and lightly took it.

As they walked, the closest they’d been in a long time, Miyabi couldn’t help but feel as if her hand burned as it held the other’s smaller one, causing something to swell within her. Since that day she’d tried to suppress her emotions about what happened, but now, holding her hand again… She looked over at Saki, who only smiled ahead tranquilly just like the Greek goddess she apparently was to become. That was a somewhat funny thought, since she was not the girl Miyabi had in mind when she’d spoken earlier of who would be closest to such a character…

How could the girl be this calm? Was it not this way for everyone when you lost the one you loved? Then again, from all she’d heard, when that happened it was very hard to remain friends. She wondered if the two of them were able to overcome that obstacle… or was it just because they were nearly forced to?

As they arrived, the crew was already changing the set to the one the director apparently had in mind for them. It consisted of a chair atop a platform adorned with a regal-looking rug and blankets. Miyabi wondered at the one chair. Was one of them supposed to sit on the other’s lap or something? Now that would be fun…

She looked down at Saki with a questioning eye, and the other girl fell into a soft giggle, causing Miyabi to smile broader too despite her anxious thoughts. Were things really returning to normal? Then again, what was normal? Saki turned back to watch the action, but Miyabi continued looking into her face. At that moment she decided that ‘normal’ was only how things were at any given time; there was no guarantee they wouldn’t change at the drop of a pin.

Eventually they took their places, which involved Saki sitting in the chair and ‘waving her arms around’, likely what Maasa had mentioned. Miyabi however was to lie reclined on the platform, her head nearly resting back on Saki’s leg. She became quite embarrassed when she realized how much leg she was supposed to show herself. She wondered if she might not prefer the girl sitting on her lap. Her chosen pose wasn’t overtly provocative per se… but when she looked down at herself, she was very aware of the curves of her body, and she knew everyone else would be as well. …Was she getting fat?

“Yoi, katto! Beautiful!” the director yelled at last after the round of shooting, and Miyabi let her head fall back against Saki’s leg without a thought, tired of holding it in that position for so long. A soft giggle from behind her made her look up, and she realized what she’d done. But she was too comfortable to move…

As Saki looked down at her, Miyabi felt her cheeks burn under the smiling gaze and quickly draped one of the sheets of fabric she was holding over herself. “The director was right, you know,” Saki said, her eyes sparkling. “You looked beautiful. Every inch the Greek goddess, no matter who else was the only one you thought could look it before.”

Miyabi sat up. “Are you serious?” she said, trying not to think too much about her current situation. She laid her hands to her stomach. “If anything, I’m fat. Then again…” she said, welcome other thoughts entering her head. “There were fat Greek goddesses, weren’t there?”

“There were,” Saki agreed, standing herself and sorting out the various sheets of fabric she held to hand to a crew member. “But those weren’t the ones I was talking about.”

Miyabi did her best to shade her now somewhat burning face away from the girl as she sorted out her own fabric. The things she was saying were just like things she says to all of them to make them feel better about themselves and happy with their day’s work, but Miyabi couldn’t help taking them differently. Saki was lost to her… She didn’t want something that would tempt her to think otherwise.

She glanced off the set to see Risako standing by herself watching them quietly. Throughout almost the whole video shoot except for the dance parts the younger girl only had scenes by herself, and so she didn’t have as much opportunity… or obligation… to interact with other members.

Miyabi turned back to Saki, who at the attention looked her way, and said with somewhat of a forced smile, “Otsukaresama deshita. If nothing else, we’ve given the fans plenty more to imagine after this.”

“There’s still the cut, you know,” the Captain responded. “None of it may even make it in there.” She grinned slightly. “But I doubt it.”

“Ugh…” Miyabi responded, and then had a strange impulse. “Hey,” she said as she unloaded herself of the last of the material. “Risako and I are going to a coffeeshop for a little while. Would you like to join us?”

Saki’s grin faltered slightly, and she blinked as if surprised at the question. Neither of them had invited the other to anything for a good while. “Um… I’m sorry. I’m meeting Momo and waiting for Chii and Kuma-chan to finish their scene before heading to dinner or something. Can I take a raincheck?”

“Sure,” Miyabi said, turning back toward Risako decisively now. She’d just heard all she needed to hear. “It sounds like fun! Though I don’t envy you with that pair…” she added as Chinami and Yurina walked toward the stage past her, giggling and whispering to each other with hands held tightly between them. They’d always been affectionately friendly, but to Miyabi and the rest who see them so often… She was amazed there hadn’t been another lecture yet. Then again, Chinami was one of the ones giving the lecture before, so perhaps silence was the best remedy for the time being.

“You two have fun also!” she said with a wave and a grin, causing the two girls to fall into another fit of giggles. Seriously, what could they be so happy about all the time?

“Hello,” she said upon reaching Risako.

“Hi,” the girl responded simply. “Have a fun scene?”

“It was horrible,” Miyabi said, wrapping an arm around her friend’s shoulders and guiding her toward the dressing rooms. I feel so violated…” she continued dramatically, gesturing with her free hand toward her dress.

The comment made Risako suddenly giggle. “You silly,” she said, poking Miyabi’s side. “It couldn’t have been that bad…” she said, her voice a roller coaster of pitch in mock disbelief.

“Trust me,” Miyabi assured her, and began smiling again herself as she held the girl close. Safety and comfort; those were the most important things to her now, and Risako’s smile was all she needed.



With the dawn of the fall and the completion of their Berryz Palace concert circuit, they actually had a decent amount of free time to concentrate on school and other things until the winter. They still rehearsed from time to time, but Miyabi had to content herself with mailing and calling the ones she wanted to talk with.

However, not all was peachy because what they did do – well, her and Momo at least – was take up a small role in C-ute’s tour as Buono. She could have stood to not spend as much time with the other girl, but she contented herself with hanging out with Airi as much as she could. Still, since the younger girl had her own group-mates around, a lot of time it was just her and Momoko.

One afternoon between concerts found the two Berryz sipping coffee at a shop in Yokohama’s Minato-Mirai mall, where Miyabi always enjoyed gazing out the windows at the harbor. Things had been moving slow, with school the main focus outside of the concerts, but she was happy enough keeping up with Risako via mail and occasional phone calls.

She even received mail from Saki from time to time checking in on her, which she supposed all the girls received. She had to give props to their Captain for managing to put everything aside and continue leading them. She only wished she could handle things so well, but she was still anxious about getting into anything intimate, and Risako in her relative youth seemed quite happy to continue basically as they were.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Momoko asked, breaking her momentary serenity.

“Oh… just things,” she responded disinterestedly.

“Things?” Momoko asked. “Like what?” After seeing Miyabi’s reflexive frown, she continued on quickly, “Sorry. I guess I’m just feeling a bit bored! Times like this are quite a let-down after the high of a concert, even if we only appear once…”

“Really?” Miyabi said, turning back toward the window. “I actually like it. It’s quiet. And watching the sea relaxes me.”

“I suppose…” Momoko said, seeming rather unsure. “I guess I’m too much of a city girl – a bunch of water doesn’t do a whole lot for me. I’d much rather just meet up with Captain and go for karaoke or something.”

Miyabi coughed a laugh. “Yeah, I can’t exactly see you being ‘one with nature’ and all that…”

“Yep!” Momoko agreed. “None of that for me. You can keep your communing with nature to yourself as far as I’m concerned…”

“You still seem to have an interest in it though,” Miyabi followed curiously.

“Oh? In what way?”

“I remember you once even mentioned that I should be careful with it since I’d never know how it’d turn out. That was quite astute for someone with no interest in the stuff.” She knew she was being a bit aggressive in her questioning, but she’d always been curious how Momoko viewed what she did. She was alive because of it, after all.

“Did I?” the girl responded, looking thoughtful. “You must have quite a memory for things like that.”

“It’s all right.”

“Well I’m not sure what I would have been thinking, but that’s all in the past now, isn’t it?” she asked, now looking curiously at Miyabi herself. “Are you even still studying the stuff?”

“Oh yeah,” Miyabi said, closing her eyes but still able to see without them… to feel the water outside. “What else am I going to do these days?”

A tittering laugh came across from her in response. “I suppose so.”

Feeling herself relax as if in a nice massage as she let the water’s natural power wash over her, she decided to pry a little bit since they were now talking of old times, something she hadn’t done with anyone shy of Risako for a long time. “Speaking of what we’re doing these days, how about you? You talked about karaoke with Saki. Do you do that often?”

Momoko peered at her closely. “Sometimes,” she responded. “You gotta have someone to hang out with and do stuff like that after all, or it’s very easy to be alone in the middle of the big city.”

“That’s true,” Miyabi agreed. So it didn’t seem like she and Saki were that much closer. Perhaps her suspicions in the past were misplaced. A dark pallor fell over her face. That still didn’t change what they resulted in, even had she wanted things to be different now. Maybe Momoko was right. Her hobby wasn’t called ‘magic’ for no reason after all… much as she hated to admit it, there could be things she didn’t know. She’d have to redouble her efforts to make sure she was doing everything precisely as it should be done.

“You know, it’s a silly thought…” she continued, tracing the tip of her finger around the rim of the coffee cup.

“Hmm?” Momoko asked, taking a sip of her own.

“Well, I heard how you felt about Captain before, and I just wondered, now that, well, you guys are hanging out more, if you might not even start dating yourselves… Goodness knows Chii-chan and Kuma-chan are going to drive all of us crazy if we have to continue only watching them all the time.” She let out a long breath she hadn’t noticed she was holding when she was finished. She’d not allowed herself to even get close to this kind of subject for a long while, and was quite nervous doing so now, even though her curiosity had gotten the best of her.

Instead of responding right away though, it was now Momoko’s turn to look down into her cup. “To use a metaphor appropriate to your mood right now, that ship has sailed I’m afraid…”

Miyabi looked up and frowned at her. “Why? What do you mean?”

The other girl gave a long sigh before pushing her coffee away slightly and crossing her arms to look out the window herself. “I did think that… well… with you out of the picture after all, that she might be able to see something in me instead, but…”

“But…?” Miyabi asked after Momoko trailed off into silence.

“I can tell when she looks at me. She enjoys my company, don’t get me wrong, but that spark just isn’t there… it never has been… We’ve known each other for long enough now that I think I can also safely say it never will be.”

“Oh…” Miyabi said, looking away to avoid seeing the girl’s face. She had her suspicions before, but hearing the girl say it straight out gave her mixed emotions. On the one hand, her selfish part was happy that Momoko didn’t get what she wanted, and that Saki hadn’t moved on. However, on the other hand, didn’t she really want them to be happy too – Saki above all? She supposed the girl was by herself, but now that she’d experienced love, she thought she had some idea of what true happiness was. Besides, there was Risako…

“What about you?” Momoko said finally, breaking the silence and reaching up to wipe a tear from her eye. “You and our baby princess. I think you two have spent as much time together maybe as Chii and Kumai-chan even.”

“Well…” Miyabi said, pausing slightly to consider the oddity of the conversation she was having with this girl who she once hated. Had she really put everything behind her? Then again, had she ever been right to blame her to begin with? “Nothing… really… has happened yet. You know how she is. Even if something were to happen, I’m not sure what it’d be.”

Momoko broke into a smile. “But you said ‘yet’,” she said with a nod. “So you think something will happen.” Miyabi shrugged her shoulders in what she hoped was a ‘who knows?’ way. “Also… nothing… really? Does that mean something has happened? Ooh tell me! No matter how little!” The girl now seemed to become positively eager.

Miyabi blinked at her. “Um…” She blushed and looked back outside. What could talking about it hurt? She hadn’t mentioned it to a soul since that night; it’d probably do her good to get it off her chest. “One night… A while ago…” she said, not wanting to give Momoko the idea of the exact time, “We were sleeping together, right? Like we always have. I woke up in the middle of the night, and in her sleep she hugged me… and called my name.” She paused as she watched a barge begin drifting out to sea. “Then she said she loved me…”

“Oooooh!!!” Momoko said, nearly squealing in delight. “Aww, our baby is growing up so fast…”

“Don’t take it too seriously,” Miyabi said, waving her hand in front of her face as she turned back to the girl. “She didn’t know what she was saying – she was only dreaming after all. And the subject has never come up since then.”

“Oh but it’s something that should be taken seriously!” Momoko advised. “Dreams are very important things. They offer the true essence of the dreamer, free of all the inhibitions society and the chains of friendship place on her. Rii-chan feels very strongly for you… I guarantee it!”

Miyabi blushed slightly and hid her face in her cup as she took a sip. “Right…” she said, then cocked an eyebrow at the girl. “Are you sure you don’t think much of nature? For all you say, you seem to understand it quite well… better than me even maybe…”

“Psht,” Momoko replied dismissively. “Like I said, boring stuff.” Her face suddenly brightened in a smile. “By the way, isn’t it about time we headed back for the concert? All those people… such a wonderful thing, ne?”

“Yeah,” Miyabi said, standing and taking a last glance out the window. The sea seemed a bit more turbulent for some reason now. “Talk about ‘nature in action’…”

The giggling of the two girls was soon all that they left behind… aside from their coffee cups of course. One of them wasn’t even finished.

Offline berryzkouboumm1989

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 36: Pondering]
« Reply #255 on: September 26, 2008, 01:52:30 AM »
Wow so Momo got them seperated for nothing,eh?I wonder what's gonna happen between Miyabi and Saki later on...hopefully not anything bad. :mon pray2:

p.s. AWESOME CHAPTER!

Offline ayase909

  • I'm A Tomo-Holic dechu!
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  • miya-airi rabu-rabu
Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 36: Pondering]
« Reply #256 on: September 26, 2008, 06:36:43 PM »
sorry momo fans.....but she irked me.....i had this feelings that she hate miya and will do anything to hurt her.... :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: not just in the case of saki but i think with risako too...... maybe she would separate rii-chan and miya...... :frustrated: :frustrated: :frustrated:


aw...love the captain and miya scene......hehehe


miya and risako ....... :on gay: :on gay: :on gay:




Offline Grisours

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 36: Pondering]
« Reply #257 on: September 26, 2008, 08:41:41 PM »
It's good that Miya is on talking terms with Captain. I'm also glad she got to talk with Momo as well. I hope Momo isn't planning anything bad, now that they just started to build their friendship back or something...
Keep it up!

Offline peti-chan

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  • Ai-chan oriented XD
Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 36: Pondering]
« Reply #258 on: September 27, 2008, 12:26:31 PM »
So, things aren't going that bad between Saki and Miya, huh? I would even say that they are going surprisingly good. I was afraid that after the break up the atmosphere would become much more cold and tense but none of this really happened. It was hard for both of them but they seem to move on already. Guess, it's thanks to Risako and Momo and btw Rii-chan is so adorably cute :wub: Oh and I really enjoyed Chinami appearance XD However, I wonder how long this peace will last and who or what will destroy it this time...well maybe it will last and I'm just being pesimistic  :sweatdrop: Anyway, I'm curious about what is to come :D

Offline rokun

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Re: Berry Beautiful [Chapter 37: Dreams]
« Reply #259 on: October 14, 2008, 11:49:17 AM »
Aww, not as many comments that time =/ Well I agree, it was definitely not my best chapter... Hopefully this next one will rekindle everyone's interest a bit more. Still, thank you very much for reading, and for the gracious comments. :)


Chapter 37

“Miya, I have something to tell you…” Risako said as they lay in a hotel bed together in the dark of early night. For some reason they were assigned to the same room again – something that Miyabi did not mind of course, though she had a feeling Momoko was somehow behind it – while they stayed in Tokyo for rehearsals for live performances of the new single. They were all happy to be back together since it had been so long with all of them busy with other responsibilities.

Miyabi’s heart jumped into her throat when she heard the girl’s request. Was she going to say what she thought she would? This time, she was most definitely not asleep… “Yes…?” she asked, trying to keep the hesitation out of her voice.

“…I really want some chocolate cake…” Risako said with a long sigh, and Miyabi’s heart quickly fell back to where it should be.

She reached over and poked the girl in the arm, to a cute squeal. “If you eat something now you’ll never get to sleep~” she scolded her chidingly.

“But I’m hungry…” the girl said. “And I want something sweet…”

Miyabi rolled her head to look at the shadows of the girl’s face. I can give you something sweet… she thought, her eyes straying helplessly to the girl’s lips, and she licked her own. It had been so long since the two last saw each other, and she was nervous being in the same bed with the girl, much less being so forward in her affections.

She pondered a moment on why that was. She was never that shy when it came to this type of thing before, and after her experiences with Saki… Well, she shouldn’t have anything to hide after that. Still, when around Risako, somehow her stomach rose to fluttering and she was happy sometimes to even speak to the girl in complete sentences. However, even Momoko seemed to be all for the two of them, and she still wasn’t sure why she held back. For example, Chinami and Yurina had dropped all reprimands since beginning… whatever it was they had going on.

“Risako…” Miyabi said in a low voice, having one of those moments when she was unable to complete a sentence.

“Hmm…?” the girl responded, though didn’t look over at her as she continued staring at the ceiling dreamily, likely imagining the varieties of cake and cream puffs she could be enjoying right now.

“…I think the hotel lounge sells some kind of chocolate cake,” Miyabi finished, having failed miserably once again. “If you want, we can go there and try to find some.”

“Oh really?” Risako asked, brightening and now rolling her head to look at Miyabi as well. “Would you go with me?”

“Of course…” Miyabi said, holding back a sigh, and the girl giddily pushed down the covers and sat up in the bed.

A short time later found them sitting at a table in the hotel lounge, which definitely did have chocolate cake – and a very good one at that – that Risako was now happily enjoying. Miyabi couldn’t help but smile at the smears of chocolate that were flourishing at the sides of her mouth.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” they heard someone say, but Risako barely looked up from her prize to recognize the new arrivals.

Miyabi smiled at Chinami and Yurina, and gestured to the two open seats on the other side of the table. “Something like that. Our Princess needed her nighttime treat…” She rested her chin down against her arms, blinking sleepily. “Myself, I’d be happy to still be in bed right now.”

Chinami giggled as the waiter came to take their order, but they only asked for iced cocoa. “You know,” Yurina said, pondering the waiter’s back as he went to retrieve their drinks. “I heard they serve sake to anyone here. You wanna try some, Chii? Or you, Miya? You look like you could use a pick-me-up.”

Chinami looked at her scandalized, but her face quickly relaxed, something Miyabi attributed to Yurina stealthily grabbing her hand just beneath the table where they thought no one would notice. She gave a small smile before looking to her own side and watching Risako’s hands finish polishing off the last few bites of her precious cake. Once finished, the girl patted at her mouth daintily with her napkin and let those hands fall to her sides, where not far away Miyabi’s own burned with restraint.

“Maybe I’ll try a little bit…” Miyabi offered, causing Risako now to utter a small gasp of her own. “I’m the wild one after all, aren’t I?” she grinned at them.

“Miya, if you drink tonight you’re sleeping on the floor…” Risako reprimanded, and smiles broke out across from them.

“Ouch, she’s being scolded…” Yurina commented.

“How embarrassing!” Chinami agreed.

“So how long have you two been in rabu-rabu?” Miyabi shot in, causing whatever embarrassment there might have been to shift, and she sensed that the two girls quickly released each other’s hands.

“E~hhhh?” they both exclaimed together.

“What are you talking about?” Chinami said, betraying herself with slight nervousness.

“Oh come on, it’s not like you two are experts at hiding it. Anyone could have spotted what you were up to from kilos away.” Miyabi grinned at her taunting of the poor girls, who now looked like deer in the blaze of headlights.

“What’s going on?” Risako asked, and Miyabi looked over at her clueless face. “Rabu-rabu…?” she asked as if the term was unfamiliar. She’d only used it a thousand times on air…

Miyabi’s face fell completely into her arms at that as the other two girls began giggling as if their apprehension was suddenly relieved. “Good question!” Chinami chirped. “The whole idea is silly, isn’t it Kuma-chan?”

“Silly,” Yurina agreed, and Miyabi could feel all eyes on her.

When she finally looked up, the two lovers stared at her expectantly, relief shining in their faces mixed with slight apprehension of her next move. “Whatever…” she said, and the two girls relaxed fully. However, she let them know with a gaze that despite Risako’s unfathomable cluelessness, their secret was definitely not safe from her. Still, they seemed satisfied enough with that for the moment.

Finally the waiter came with the other drinks, and the two new arrivals sipped them in silence, each with thoughtful expressions as if considering Miyabi’s revelation. For her part, she looked over to Risako, who seemed to be getting a little antsy.

“Excuse me,” the youngest apologized. “I have to go to the washroom.” And with that, she rose and swept to the back of the lounge and her goal.

With Risako gone, Miyabi watched the other two quietly, each giving her half-hearted smiles when they noticed her looking. “Are you happy?” Miyabi asked suddenly, and after a sip Yurina looked at her curiously.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“You know,” Miyabi said. “Being together… dating… being girlfriends… lovers… whatever you wanna call it.”

Her words this time made Chinami nearly spit out her drink, and she wiped her mouth before looking carefully back into Miyabi’s eyes. “You really know, don’t you?” she asked, the embarrassment creeping back into her face.

Miyabi nodded, and the two glanced at each other before reaching over and holding hands once again, this time above the table. “Of course we’re happy,” Yurina said, having apparently given in. “If we weren’t, do you think we’d take the risk?”

Chinami nodded eagerly. “Yeah. I mean, we know what happened with you and Captain…”

There was an uncomfortable silence after that as Miyabi’s eyes fell once again to the table, and she pulled Risako’s plate over to scrape up the remaining small amount of chocolate frosting with a finger.

“Oh, I’m sorry…” Chinami said, as if just realizing what she had said. Yurina gave her a frown, but then a reassuring squeeze to her hand. Miyabi sighed.

“Are you happy?” Yurina asked, leaning down slightly to peek in at her face, which was again somewhat buried in her arms.

“What kind of a question is that?” she asked in response.

“It’s one you asked,” Yurina pointed out quietly, and Miyabi sighed again.

“Am I happy?” Miyabi repeated, as if it was still unfamiliar. “I suppose I haven’t really been since… since…” She couldn’t finish.

“But you have Rii-chan, don’t you?” Chinami asked. “I mean, you two seem to be getting along quite well…”

Miyabi barked a laugh. “Yeah,” she said shortly. “Well.”

“If you…” Chinami began, looking at Yurina and gulping as the girl squeezed her hand again. “If you two would get together, we’d support you as much as we could,” she said, and the silence stretched a bit longer again as Miyabi considered the words that came from the girl who may have been the most against her similar relationship with their Captain.

“I think it’d be good for both of you,” Yurina chipped in, looking between Chinami and Miyabi. “I mean, obviously for you, but Rii, well… for one it’d keep her away from the boys…”

Miyabi smiled again. “Yeah, I suppose that would be a good thing, wouldn’t it?” she asked, then stayed silent a moment. “But what about Saki?” she followed finally. After a moment she looked up to the other girls looking between each other as if considering her question. “I mean, you see how I’ve taken this. Do you think she’d like seeing me with another of our friends?”

“I think Captain would do her best to support us whatever we did…” Chinami said carefully, though avoiding Miyabi’s eyes. Yurina nodded slowly.

“I’m back!” Risako said to no response as she took her seat again and looked around at the three silent girls. Miyabi was still tracing circles on the plate with her finger. “Did something happen?” she asked. “It feels like somebody died here…”

“Sorry, Rii-chan,” Chinami said.

“It’s late…” Yurina commented, and the two girls rose to leave.

After a moment Miyabi could feel Risako’s eyes on her. “Did I say something wrong?” the girl asked quietly, and Miyabi looked up to see her youthful eyes filled with concern.

“No,” Miyabi said quickly, lifting her head from the table. “Of course it’s nothing like that.” She reached for the girl’s wrist, realizing how close she was to her hand, and pulled her up out of the chair. “Let’s go back to bed,” she said. “I’m really tired.”

On their way back up the elevator the two girls stood silently until apparently Risako could not stand it any longer. “Miya, what happened when I was in the washroom? I get back and those two leave… and then you’re acting all weird…”

“It’s nothing,” Miyabi assured her. “Really. I mean, it is late, isn’t it?”

“Not so late…” Risako said, searching Miyabi’s eyes as if she knew there was something she was holding back.

Miyabi looked back into the girl’s own, and this time she didn’t know if she could hold back. “Risako…” she said again, this time her voice in barely a whisper. Her hand rose slowly up the girl’s arm until it reached her face, where she slowly cupped her cheek.

She noticed Risako swallow with sudden nervousness, but just as she began to lean in, the door opened to their hall and her eyes snapped quickly in that direction. Thankfully there was no one in the hall at this hour, but instead of continuing her previous action she grabbed Risako’s arm again and pulled her out down the hallway and toward their room.

This time they dressed quietly with no protest from either, but when they crawled into bed the silence became eerily awkward and they paused before sliding fully under the sheets, gazing at each other as they sat in the dim light from the bedside lamp.

“Miya…” Risako said, breaking the tension finally. Miyabi could almost feel the courage she was gathering to speak. “If that elevator door hadn’t opened… what were you going to do?”

Miyabi stared back at her a moment without answering her question, and spoke up again, still without answering it. “A while back,” she began, “At another time we shared a room and bed like this, I had a dream.” Her voice seemed like it was speaking by rote now, things that she’d wanted to say for so long finally managing to form on her lips.

“A dream?” Risako asked, and Miyabi nodded.

“Well,” she corrected herself. “At least I thought it was a dream… I woke up in the middle of the night, and couldn’t remember where I was. Then I realized you were next to me. I reached out to touch you… I’m not sure that I can say why… and you scooted closer to me, wrapping your arms around me like I was your teddy bear or something. Or at least that’s what it seemed.”

Risako blushed. “I’m sorry. That’s so embarrassing… I guess I must have seemed so childish.”

Miyabi smiled suddenly. “No,” she said softly. “It was cute.”

Risako blushed further.

“Well if that’s what you’re worried about, I can tell you that it probably wasn’t a dream… I…” She hugged herself, unable to meet Miyabi’s eyes. “Actually, at home I do still sleep with a stuffed bear. Toto, I call it…” She looked up to see Miyabi’s smile. “I know, silly name, isn’t it?”

“Not at all,” Miyabi assured her, then gathered herself to go on, her smile fading. “That’s not why I think it was a dream though. When you scooted over to hug me, you called my name...” This new information apparently caught Risako’s attention, and she looked curiously, if a little frightened, at Miyabi. “Therefore I don’t think it was Toto you thought you were hugging.”

Risako blushed again, but this time didn’t look away. “Did I… Did I say anything else…?” she asked, her voice rife with uncertainty and apprehension.

Miyabi looked back into her eyes a moment before responding. “Yes…” she said, and the girl twitched a little as if at a shock. “You said…” she paused, considering her words. “You said, ‘Miya… thank you…’” Her heart, which she just realized had crept back into her throat again, fell back down again at her most recent failure to really express what was on her mind.

Risako visibly relaxed, and even gave a little smile. “Thank you?” she asked, then giggled a little. “I wonder what I was thanking you for?”

“No clue,” Miyabi said, now smiling too.

“I don’t know why you were so worried,” Risako continued, giving Miyabi a slight nudge at her shoulder. “That’s hardly something that could have only been in a dream. Everything I’m sure had quite a reasonable explanation… at least in my head,” she said, giggling again.

“Yeah,” Miyabi agreed. “You’re right. I don’t know why I was so concerned…”

Then Risako reached over her to switch off the light, Miyabi closing her eyes as she felt the sudden proximity of the girl she couldn’t seem to escape yet couldn’t quite seem to catch either. Afterward, the two girls slipped fully beneath the sheets and lay in silence a minute as they attempted to fall asleep.

“Miya?” she heard Risako ask in the darkness.

“Mmh?” she responded.

“Maybe I was thanking you for our time together. You’ve always treated me so well…”

“Have I?” Miyabi asked.

The girl nodded in the dark. “You’re always here for me whenever I need my teddy bear and he’s not around, and even… even when I thought my life was going to change forever, you were there to pull me back to the ground. I actually don’t think I’ve thanked you enough, so… thank you… again…”

Miyabi felt her chest tighten at the girl’s praise, remembering the horrible things she’d done to her, the worst even without her knowledge. “Risako…” she said, intending to set the record straight, and rolled over to her side.

However, when she did so, she noticed the girl was lying on her side too and now facing Miyabi, gazing at her silently with their faces centimeters apart. “Yes, Miya…?” she asked, eagerness in her voice, as well as curiousness, but for the first time no trace of anxiety.

Miyabi didn’t respond, but instead slowly withdrew a hand from beneath the blankets to rest on the girl’s shoulder. “I’m about to do something that up until recently I felt couldn’t be right, but that for some reason now seems like nothing else could be more natural…” she said very slowly, never looking away from the girl’s eyes.

“What are you going to do, Miya?” Risako responded in kind. She suddenly noticed the girl had somehow shuffled closer to her, and now wrapped herself around her once again just as she had that time from her dream.

Then, without any words, she leaned her face in and tilted it slightly until her lips met those of the other’s. It was the most gentle kiss she’d ever had, as tingles like tiny shocks spread throughout her body from the softness of the lips that were at the moment caressing hers in a slow rhythm. Despite whatever she might have done with that boyfriend of hers, she was still obviously inexperienced, something that Miyabi didn’t mind in the slightest at the moment.

After a few minutes that seemed like barely seconds, they parted and glanced once again into each other’s eyes before Risako pulled her closer and nuzzled her face into her neck. “I hope this means you’re mine now,” Risako said softly against her neck. “I’ve waited, I think… off and on for a long time now… We’ve been through a lot, but I… I don’t think I’d rather experience things with anyone else…”

Miyabi felt her insides roiling at the confirmation of the thoughts she too had imagined for a while now. Still, even here with the girl in her arms, she wondered if she was really experiencing this.

“Then is this…” she began, “Is this all right? That kiss wasn’t like our first one. I really meant it…”

Risako pulled her face back level with her own again. “I did too,” she said, her candid eyes sparkling. “But like before, this was only once… Would you kiss me again, so that I know without a doubt that you’re mine?”

Miyabi smiled gently, but this time pulled Risako close for a kiss she thought would leave the girl doubting absolutely nothing. She also thought there was something she had no doubt about now herself – her dream had become a reality.



“Do you dream often, Maa-chan?” Saki asked her roommate as they lay in bed reading deep into the night. Well, Saki did at least. Maasa was watching the late night music shows on TV, but at least she didn’t have her earphones in so Saki could still talk to her. She’d not been able to do it for a while during their stays because she was always spending time with Miyabi, but since then she’d rather rediscovered its enjoyment. Still, following the words up and down the pages didn’t seem to convey the same sort of luster to her as it used to before… before…

“Oh of course,” Maasa replied, keeping her eyes on the screen. “Usually about crazy things though.”

“Are they nice dreams, though?” Saki asked, now laying the book facedown against her stomach.

This time Maasa spared her a glance. “Someone’s getting sentimental tonight,” the girl said.

“Not really,” Saki defended. “I’m just curious.”

It was actually a bit more than curiosity. Lately it seemed like she hadn’t been able to dream, after all that happened… She knew it was a horrible thought, and couldn’t possibly be true, but she didn’t know if she had any dreams left.

“Some are nice dreams,” Maasa said in response to her question as she turned back to the TV. “Some aren’t so nice.”

“But even despite the bad dreams, the good ones make it all worth it, don’t they?” Saki asked earnestly.

Maasa gave her a sideways glance. “Ok, what’s wrong? Captain’s never like this. Usually you’re the one giving answers to questions like that. You’re the one that knows it all, aren’t you?”

Saki’s eyes fell, pondering. “I wish I did…” she said in a slow and quiet voice.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Maasa asked, her voice changing slightly, and she hopped quickly off her bed to sit at the edge of Saki’s own. “Captain, are you okay?”

Saki did her best to keep her eyes from moistening. “Yeah, I’m all right. I crossed that bridge long ago.”

“Bridge?” Maasa asked. “Were you going somewhere?”

Saki coughed a hoarse laugh at that and leaned up to playfully shove the other girl on the arm. “Don’t be so dense. She said you were always there for her when… when she needed it, so I know you’re not so oblivious.”

In contrast to the snide remark she expected in response to that, Maasa was quiet a moment. Then Saki realized what she just said. “Is it Miya?” Maasa asked in a low voice finally, and Saki swallowed. “You guys have been apart for weeks now. Is it really still affecting you?”

Saki, after a short pause, responded, “You’ve spent a lot of time with her lately, haven’t you?” Maasa nodded slowly, her face now taking on a very sympathetic tone. Saki tried her best not to wonder about why, and went on in a voice tight with emotion, “When… it happened… it felt like a part of me was ripped out. Try to put on a cheery face as I might, not a single grain of what I lost has come back to me. The worst part might be that we never stated clearly where we were. We wanted a break… that was for sure… but beyond that… I wonder if that’s why that hole can’t be filled.”

Maasa continued looking at her quietly, the music from the TV now playing an appropriately gently ballad. “Do you still want to be with her?” she finally asked softly, and Saki tensed, though she couldn’t imagine she should have been surprised at the question.

“I…” she began, trying to find the words to say what she felt, but instead going a different route. “…Even if I did, I’m not sure I deserve her anymore. Not after what I’ve done…”

“What did you do?” Maasa asked, concern now deeply etching her voice.

“I…” she began, as memories came flooding back. “Jun…”

“Jun?” Maasa asked, eyes widening in surprise. “That boyfriend of yours?”

Saki nodded. “The night after, I… I went to him.” Maasa’s eyes widened, but this time in slight fear. When Saki noticed this she explained herself quickly. “Nothing happened… but the idea of what I almost did…”

For some reason, Maasa seemed to suddenly calm down. “Almost did…” she repeated, and even gave a small smile.

“What’s there to smile at?” Saki asked with a blank face.

“You said ‘almost’”, the girl responded. “If that’s the case, then everything’s all right.”

“But I wanted to…!” Saki protested, but Maasa laid a finger to her lips.

“There are a lot of things we want to do, Captain,” she said in almost a motherly way, “But it’s the things we follow through with that define us.” Saki fell silent at that, allowing the other girl to remove her finger, realizing where she was going, and how stupid she was being.

“That’s good advice,” she responded almost sheepishly.

Maasa smiled again, this time more fully. “I heard it once from a very intelligent person,” she responded. “I never thought I’d ever repeat it to her though.”

“It’s just hard, Maa-chan…” Saki said, turning to lay flat on her stomach, her book falling to the side. She rested the side of her head on her pillow. “Despite the fighting, I still can’t imagine myself with anyone else…” She noticed Maasa’s face become devoid of emotion again and watched her eyes carefully. “But that’s not very likely, is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Maasa said, though Saki could tell she was hiding something. She knew her girls too well for them to get away with concealing things from her. “If you really want something, and are willing to work hard for it, nothing is impossible. More good advice I heard once upon a time.”

“That’s true,” Saki admitted, “But there’s more, isn’t there? You’ve been around her… It’s Rii-chan, isn’t it?”

“Th-there’s nothing to say about that…” Maasa replied, her stuttering all the confirmation Saki needed of something she already knew.

Suddenly Saki smiled. “I’m happy for them. Sometimes I felt like I stepped into a private world that I didn’t belong in, and that was designed for just the two of them alone. Of everyone I know, they honestly deserve each other.”

“Captain,” Maasa pressed again, this time taking Saki’s hand within hers and squeezing it softly. “Don’t talk like that. Don’t give up. I can see now how much you want this. Don’t let the opportunity slip by. When I said there was nothing to say about Rii-chan, I meant there was nothing to say. They hang out a lot, but nothing else happens. They’re best friends, like you and Momo are, and I’m not sure if that’ll ever change. I mean, Miya loved you, didn’t she?”

Despite her resolve, the girl’s words did get to her a bit. If it was true that those two wouldn’t become involved… even though she believed it wasn’t… then perhaps she could still have her Miyabi. Perhaps she could still have her dream. Best friends like her and Momo, the girl had said. Yeah, that’s a good example. Momo was in love with her, though she just couldn’t feel the same way in return. Maybe… could Miyabi and Risako be a mirror image? If so, could she really be satisfied with herself if she left both of the others unhappy? After all, they were all her girls.

“We’ll see,” Saki said finally, closing her eyes. She wondered if she would finally have a dream tonight. She supposed she could always try to see more in Momo, but the thought didn’t feel right. To her, love was something rare that you don’t act on unless you’re willing to follow it through. “We’re still young, aren’t we?”

“That we are,” Maasa said, and Saki looked up to see her face smiling back at her.

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