So I'm just letting you all know that between finals and work (which has gotten extra busy lately) I won't be updating every week day. But I'M STILL GOING TO TRY TO! lol
but because I know I won't be able to, if I have time, on the weekends I'm also going to try and post chapters to make up for it.
=]
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Chapter Twenty-five: Fujimoto Miki
I decided to walk home, even thought it was three miles from Yoshizawas apartment to my own. I just needed some time to clear my head. I pondered over and over why she even did that. I mean, she was just crying over a break up and then decided to make a move on me.
I convinced myself she was probably just so upset that she wasn’t thinking properly as I arrived at my apartment. For some reason though, that thought didn’t make me happier about it. A part of me was still mentally kicking myself in the head for not kissing her, I wanted to.
But…I opened my front door and was surprised to see Aya sitting at my kitchen table staring out the window. “Aya?”
She glanced up at me; she wasn’t smiling in her usual way when she saw me. Normally she would smile brightly, run over and give me a hug every time she saw me. But she just sat there, staring at me, with the blankest expression on her face. To be honest it mildly scared me. It was almost angry looking because it was so un-Ayaya.
“Oh hi Miki.” Miki? She barley ever calls me that anymore! It’s always Mikitty or Tan, but never my actually name. I paused at how weird the conversation in my head was. I was stressing because someone was calling me by my actually name. Wow I’m a little paranoid aren’t I? haha…
“How’d you get in here?” I asked talking off my shoes and walking over next to her. She glanced away from me as I approached.
“You gave me a key last week remember?”
I scratched the back of my head embarrassed, “Oh yea.”
“Also,” she paused and looked over at me with a pissed off look on her face. Pissed of Ayaya: one, very rare and two, you don’t ever want to be on the receiving end of what she says when pissed off. Did that once, not going to again…or well I’m hoping not. “We were supposed to go out tonight, remember?” She said the last word very sternly, like I was a five year old child being punished by her mother.
I took a step back with one foot surprised that Aya was being so harsh with me. It was just a dinner date…that I forgot immediately when Yossui called. Damnit I knew there was something I was supposed to do tonight. Why couldn’t I have remembered earlier?
“Why don’t you answer anymore when I call?” She started to bring up the things that have apparently been bothering her for a while. I guess she decided tonight was not a time for dinner, but a talk. Gosh I hate having ‘talks’ with people. They rarely turn out very good. I reached down and touched the phone in my pocket; the date must have been why she called so many times. I didn’t think it would be something like this; she usually calls me a million times a night anyways. It’s really not that unusual.
But she’s right, I don’t answer really anymore. Well, it’s not really my fault. I’m always out with Yossui and occasionally someone else just hanging out. It would be rude to answer and go talk to my girlfriend. I know I get peeved sometimes when Yossui answered her phone. Eventually Rika stopped calling though; that was probably my fault now that I think about it.
I shrugged, “I dunno. I’m just always busy I guess.”
“Busy with what?” It seems like Aya can’t stay mad at me for that long because her voice had dropped down in volume a little and didn’t sound angry anymore. It was more of a desperate feeling than anything. My heart sunk down to my stomach and I wanted so much for her to be happy little Ayaya again. I want this to all be okay. I love her.
“Just hanging out with Yossui.” Even if our relationship is getting bad I have to give myself a point for never lying to her. I always felt that honesty is something that will keep a relationship in tact.
She seemed to get even sadder when I told her that. Maybe it was time to start lying. “Oh…” she mumbled.
“Well, it’s not always Yossui. A lot of the time it someone else.” Okay so it’s half a lie. Only some of the time is it anyone else.
“Where were you earlier?”
I didn’t break my gaze with her, but my mind was having serious conflicts. If I tell her who it really was she might get extra upset. I did forget about a date to go out with her. But on the other hand it was to comfort someone. I couldn’t have just left Yossui by herself.
She looked at me waiting for an answer. “Nowhere.” I cringed inwardly and felt our relationship deteriorating slightly.
Aya looked away from me and I could see tears in her eyes. Oh how easily she cries, it’s always been something I’ve found extraordinarily cute. Just not now. Don’t cry over me Aya. I’m not going anywhere. I couldn’t leave you.
I knelt down a little and took the younger girl up in my arms. She automatically wrapped her arms around me and cried into my shoulder. I gently moved and picked her up slightly so now I was the one sitting in the chair and she was clinging to me like a little baby koala in my lap.
I sat there and for the second time tonight let someone cry out there feelings into my shoulder. “Miki?” I heard her whisper and I suddenly felt dejavue and she pulled away from me and took my face into her hand.
But she didn’t do what Yossui had done just a couple hours earlier. She looked me straight in the eyes and spoke very softly and as she said each word she almost seemed like it pained her to speak her mind. “If you don’t want to be with me anymore...I could grow to understand. Sure it will hurt for quiet a while," she shrugged trying to laugh it off. "But I don’t want you if you want someone else…”
I sat in silence for a while as I watched tears start to slowly fall from Ayas face once again. She continued, “If you…if you love her more…I’ll understand. I love you Miki…unconditionally and I want you to be happy…Even if that means,” she sniffled and began to cry again leaning into my shoulder. She hiccuped a couple of time trying to speak again.
I gently rubbed her back, “Even if that means what Aya?” I asked as gently as I could. I was starting to feel myself tear up as well. I hate seeing the girl I love hurting so much because she wants me to be happy. It just isn’t fair to her.
She slowly sat back up tears still streaming down her face. “Even if that means I lose you.” She smiled and I could tell she meant it. I could also see the pleading look in her eyes begging me to stay.
I thought of Yossui and how much I loved being around her. How complete it felt to be laughing with her. How much I truly cared for my friend. But at the same time I thought of Aya and how much I loved her. How I knew that if I let her go, I might break her. I won’t do that. I can’t do that.
I pulled her as tight as I could into my body. “I won’t leave you Aya. I love you,” I stated firmly. She tried to pull away a little as she started crying again; but I held my grip on her firm. I am not going to let her go. She needs me and I need her. I’m not leaving.
Then I finally heard her whisper, “I love you Mikitty.”
I smiled…Mikitty. That’s what I love to hear.
Topic: Settling (chapter 38-FIN) (Read 74100 times)