@kawaii beam: It wasn't too bad.
And thank you!
@KonaKaga: Thanks, hun!
@Hotaru: Aww, glad you thought it was cute~
@alwaysYOU: Sorry, no continuation. That's for you as a reader to think about.
I always have some TakaGaki up my sleeves~
@peti-chan: Awww, it makes me happy to be missed~
I think TakaGaki can melt anyone and everyone's hearts.
@ringo-hime: More is definitely coming!
@writerjunkie: Thank you! It's great to be back and I can't wait to see more from you as well!
@kRisZ: Thank you for your support!
@JFC:
@Hammy: It is, isn't it?
Thanks for the welcome back~
I'm leaving for LA tomorrow to go see Momusu at AX!!!!
So I wanted to leave something to keep you all occupied. I've been working on this for a long time but couldn't think of the right way to write it. Note: I like Miki-sama all soft and mushy~
Enjoy and I'll see you all when I get back!
........................
Break Down“Otsukaresama~”, I grinned, bowing to the staff as I walked out of the venue. I hiked my purse up higher onto my shoulder and headed towards the train station, my plain black Converse squeaking along in the pavement. It was pretty late, the street lights casting an eerie glow across the cars zooming past.
As I approached the station, I heard the announcement of the last trains. “Shit”, I mumbled, grabbing tighter hold of my bag and took off running. I sped past a group of giggly and probably drunk college girls, nearly knocking a few over. My sneakers screeched to a halt as I reached the turnstiles, quickly reaching into my bag for my train pass.
“Fuck…where is it?”, I grumbled as I dug my hand deeper into the Hello Kitty print. Once I located the essential plastic card, I passed through effortlessly and was once again flying towards the platform.
Lucky for me, I made it with a few moments to spare, allowing me time to catch my breath. I was still on that after-concert high so it wasn’t too bad. As I stood rolling up my plain grey sweatshirt sleeves, the train breezed in.
It was pretty empty, just a few business men and some couples around my age. I sat down on the blue cloth seat, crossing my legs casually and setting my purse on my knees. My mind wandered back to tonight’s concert.
My last as a Hello! Project member.
The audience roared with joy as we stepped out onto the stage. Glow sticks were beaming brightly, reminding us of all those who care, and will continue to support us. I followed the girl in front of me as we filed out. Smiles were plastered on our faces, though we could all feel the sadness bubbling up within our hearts. The train stopped smoothly, a few people getting on. I leaned farther back into the seat and let my head rest on the window. It’s so peaceful on the train when it’s near empty. No annoying people chattering so loud you can’t even hear yourself think or people breathing down your neck.
I watched the scenery across from me, city lights blurring together as we sped past. The night life fluttering away like a butterfly in the spring. A feeling of melancholy took over, whispering in my ear that I could now be a part of that, but at the price of giving up the environment I’ve known for so long.
The safety and familiarity of the H!P family.
The spotlights felt unusually hot as we came to a halt in the middle of the stage, everyone standing on their assigned piece of tape. As Yuko began to speak, the crowd fell completely silent, hanging onto her every word. I could feel my eyes begin to water when she stated that we were really leaving the Project. I knew the camera zoomed in on me at that moment so I put on my brave face, my regular expression. We stopped at another station, my stop. It took a few seconds for the realization to kick in and when it did, I sprung up in a panic. “Shit, shit shit…”, I mumbled, stumbling towards the sliding doors. Barely making it through them as they closed, I cursed my thoughts for distracting me once again.
I began my ascent up the escalator, placing my hand firmly on the railing. “Get it together, Miki”, I thought to myself, “You’re stronger than this” But as the main floor of the station grew closer, I noticed a pair of girls on the other side as they headed down to the platform I just left.
They didn’t look to be the same age, one woman looking distinctly more mature than the other, not to mention the fact that she seemed to be pretty drunk. She had long, wavy blond hair, gyaru style, and wore a navy and white striped sweater dress, similar to the one worn by Ai-chan in my last single as a Morning Musume member. She looked so unstable just standing as she swayed back and forth.
The younger girl was very cute, with short black hair framing her round face. She wore a black and white strapless dress and had an arm wrapped firmly around her companion’s waist. An expression of determination, with just a tad of nervousness, graced her soft features. When the older girl began to try to break from her grasp, legs tangling together in an instant, she pulled her back, mumbling, “Inouye-senpai, please just let me take you home safe.” I watched them slowly descend down the escalator and make their way across the platform, instantly reminded of an incident a few years back.
“C’mon, Fujimoto-san”, Eri’s voice sounded exasperated as she stood next to the table where I sat, “Everyone’s already gone” My head turned towards her voice and I struggled to focus my eyes on her cute little face. Well, it was frowning at me but that made it even cuter. “You’re so cute, Kame-chan”, I grinned, “Cutie Kame” The younger girl just sighed and replied, “Please Fujimoto-san, let’s get going now” Because we live pretty close to each other, she was left with the task of getting me home…and she did. I woke up the next morning with a terrible hangover and a sleeping Kame-chan on my couch.
I smiled to myself as I recalled what I could of that night. It was partially thanks to that night that I’ve always had a soft spot for the girl.
Her hot bod isn’t too bad either.
Stepping back out into the cold night air, I tucked my hands into my pockets and set off for home. The street sounds kept me company as I silently step over a small puddle, no doubt a result of keeping the flowers fresh at the vacant shop to my right. The faded red awning fluttered gently in the wind as I passed. My body continued to move along the sidewalk but my mind traveled away once more.
The loud slapping of festival banners filled my ears as we walked through the crowded plaza. Both my arms were held tightly by two younger ones, their child-like grins wide with delight at all the offerings of various stalls.
Grilled corn, mizuame, takoyaki…the list goes on. “Let’s go over there”, Reina suggested, pulling us towards the makeshift yakisoba shop. “Irasshaimase~”, the friendly old man grinned when we came near. “One order please”, she said politely, pulling a 500-yen coin from between the folds of her yukata. The little grandpa must have noticed because when she received her order, it was piled with meat. “Thank you~”,she winked and we were off again.
“Jeez, Reina, that was pretty low”, Ai-chan teased from my other side. “Shut up, I got more meat, didn’t I?”, the youngest smirked, sticking her tongue out. The pair continued to bicker, nothing new there. I just kept walking until we reached the rest of the group.
Ai-chan let go of my arm gently and curled up next to Gaki-san, who in turn wrapped an arm around her. Reina also let go, settling herself with Shige-san, Koharu, and Kame. I slipped my sandals off and joined Yocchan behind the rest of them as we awaited the fireworks show. That day was one of my most rewarding as a sub-leader. I got to spend time with the rest of the girls, but without the stress of work. We all joked around and I feel it was a small turning point in my relationship with them all.
Suddenly, I noticed a warm, wet sensation on my cheek.
I was crying.
Out of nowhere, all the telltale signs were there. The lump in my throat that had previously gone unnoticed was now making itself known. My eyes began to sting and my ears heated up.
Fear of being seen like this drove me to pick up the pace of my walking. Before I knew it, I was flying down the blocks, just as I had been when catching the last train. My hair sliced the air behind me and my clenched fists punched at the night. The few tears that tricked from my eyes dripped off and disappeared into the darkness, hopefully hidden forever.
“Just one more block”, I croaked out to myself, pushing my body forward. My shoes slammed against the ground rapidly and I nearly missed the entrance to my building.
I pulled open the heavy door and power-walked to the elevator, shoving the button much harder than necessary. The last thing I wanted was a neighbor to see me and ask what was wrong. I don’t think I’d be able to answer without breaking down, I wouldn’t trust my voice to even speak.
At last, the elevator opened, thankfully empty. My vision was becoming blurry with unshed tears, a few slipping out as I blinked hard. Fingers shaking as sobs threatened to wrack my body, I pressed the button for the 7th floor. I wrapped my arms around myself and let a couple drops slide down my flushed cheeks.
Once I arrived to my apartment, I fumbled with my keys and dropped them on the hallway carpet. “Dammit”, I sniffled, crouching down and pulling the black key holder back into my hands. Carefully, I inserted the key into the lock and successfully unlocked my front door.
Stumbling to the step leading inside, I relieved my shaky legs and trembling fingers undid the white shoe laces. It was dark as I slid down the hallway to my bedroom. My bag lay forgotten on the neat area rug next to my bed and I collapsed in a fit of sobs.
Tears ran down my face like a waterfall, soaking into the pillow I buried my face in. I finally allowed myself to let go of inhibitions, of the fear of being perceived as weak. Everything from tiny whimpers to full-blown cries of anguish left my lips.
After many minutes of clinging to the sheets and blinking teardrops from my eyes, I began to settle. My breathing was still uneasy and labored but I backed myself off the bed and took careful steps to the bookshelf on the other side of the room.
Picking up a framed picture, I sat back down on the white bedspread and held it in my hands gently. My fingers traced over the glass and ran along the silvery frame.
Everyone I had come to know of the past 7 years smiled in the photograph. I smiled a little as one last tear came to rest on the cold, protective cover.
“Thank you,” I whispered to them all.
Topic: strawb3rrykream's notebook (Aki Urara - updated 8/17) (Read 165686 times)