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Author Topic: One Minute (Chapter 13, two days in a row!)  (Read 62278 times)

Offline heyyouhiya

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One Minute (Chapter 13, two days in a row!)
« on: May 13, 2008, 03:12:09 PM »
So I actually don't know if this is okay...but I don't care
I wrote this not really thinking of anyone in particular, but a whole story evolved from it
and I find I write better if its a fanfiction and I think this will fit the H!P girls perfectly =]

I'll be slowly writing this one (alongside settling which I hope to finish in the next couple of weeks)
what can I say, I can't write one thing at a time xD and with summer approaching I'll probably be witting a whole lot more.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Prolouge

I remember everything about that minute. Your sympathetic gaze as you set the small digital watch on the table counting down from a minute. The feeling I can only explain as cold slowly spreading throughout the room. How every move that was made seemed to take an eternity, while still passing all too quickly.

You finally turned toward me, the raw emotion in your eyes was bewitching and painful at the same time. You looked so fragile, like glass. It felt that if I even breathed you would surely shatter into a million pieces. You were in so much blatant pain that it hurt to look at you. It was as if you were reading my mind, for we both looked away at the same time.

You turned to stare blindly out the window, your long hair shielding your eyes like a curtain. I busied myself by staring at the numbers slowly going down on the small watch.

Thirty-two seconds

The air was thick. I could feel my lungs tensing and my heart beating louder. I was certain you could hear it. I don't even know why I was scared. But a cold feeling had spread around the room and left me empty.

It felt like hours before you finally spoke. I knew it hadn't been that long because my eyes never broke their gaze at the clock.

Twenty-five seconds.

"Goodbye"

Those words hung in the air between us. Strangely my heart didn't quicken; I think it just stopped. I looked up, you hadn't moved. It was almost as if you had never spoken.

"What? Going on vacation and you didn't invite me?" Joking was all I could think to do in order to stay calm. My own laughter rang in my ears.

You looked back at me with a sheepish grin before turning back to the window. I walked over and reached my hand out to touch your face, almost to make sure you were really there. To my horror, I realized I was crying.

I pulled back quickly and turned away trying to wipe away my tears. I don't know why or how, but my eyes found there way back to that damned clock.

Five seconds.

You slowly reached up and cupped my cheek in one of your hands. It was a warm and gentle touch; I was your most prized possession.

You managed to catch my eyes again. I think the world stopped for a moment under your calm, unflinching gaze. It seemed like I could see straight through your eyes and into your very being. Pain, confidence, fear, joy, understanding...and then I blinked and the moment was over. I felt a sharp pain spread from my cheek through my entire body, and I was alone.

I didn't need to look at the clock; I knew it displayed zero. I reached up to touch my cheek where your warmth had been moments before. I could feel my whole body becoming numb. I leaned my forehead against the cold forgiving glass of the window and laughed.

I understood everything now.
« Last Edit: August 01, 2009, 09:57:40 PM by heyyouhiya »

Offline peti-chan

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2008, 05:30:10 PM »
 :fainted:

Another sad story... :cry:

I can't wait to find out about who this story is...  :dunno:

Offline JFC

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2008, 06:49:27 PM »
:dizzy:

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline chibilolli

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2008, 08:23:13 PM »
^I think that about sums it up.

I'm very intrigued with this story. I hope you don't take too long to put up the next chapter because I know I will be pondering immensely over this until you do.

Maybe...umm...time travel??? But why the pain?...hmm...

I think I'm thinking too much in to it.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2008, 02:33:56 AM by Lolli »

Offline heyyouhiya

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #4 on: May 14, 2008, 02:30:45 AM »
Another sad story... :cry:

I know, haha
i just prefer writing them I guess...

I'm very intrigued with this story. I hope you don't take too long to put up the next chapter because I know I will be pondering immensely over this until you do.

Maybe...umm...time travel??? But why the pain?...hmm...

I think I'm thinking too much in to it.

I'm going to hopefully have the next chapter up by this weekend, or at least sunday
and time travel? Hmm...interesting theory

Offline chibilolli

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #5 on: May 14, 2008, 02:38:40 AM »
I'm going to hopefully have the next chapter up by this weekend, or at least sunday
and time travel? Hmm...interesting theory

Yay! I look forward to it. I'm reading this with the two people that I can't get enough of at the minute (in fanfics) in the two roles. I think I will be kinda gutted if it's not them, but I will still continue reading. Maybe you could tell us who it is before you post the next chapter... oh wait, no don't tell us, let it be a surprise... gah, sunday is too far away.

As for my theory, I'm probably way out. I bet it's something quite simple, but I'll stick with that theory for the hell of it.

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2008, 02:42:48 AM »
soo sad!  :cry: But I really wanna know who they are! For some reason, I think of Rika and Yossy..... :? Sounds great so far!  :)

Offline zay05ohayou

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #7 on: May 14, 2008, 10:28:16 AM »
aw.. is this another angsty story??  :( please tell me its not ishiyoshi breaking up or something..

Ishiyoshi~ DEF.DIVA~ GAM~ hANGRY&ANGRY <33

Offline sweeety

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2008, 04:57:30 PM »
noooo~! not another ishoiyoshoi!

 I thought it was YoMako! Cause of the goodbye thing. maybe it was a dream that yoshi had about Mako leaving. I read some of the lines somewhere else in the same context before..... weird. it slike de ja bvou. I like the idea of YoMako, if not then YoMiki.

 I first thought Yoshi because of the joke thing, then I thought either Miki or Mako (Bacause I really didn't want it to be RIka) and then I thought, maybe, just maybe tis Mako apologising for going to Aus. I thought maybe ist how she broke the news to her. Then you said the disapearing thing and I thought maybe it was a dream. either way, really interesting stuff, and Id like to read more if possible.
I have a porcupine called zazoom, he leaves his scent on peoples' graves.

Offline takagakifan

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2008, 05:50:55 AM »
Hmmm... whats this a puzzle  :ding:
Brainstorming time  :glasses:
Okay fact one girl in dream has long hair so :dunno: :
Rika
Miki
Konno
Risa
Ai no wait she cut it
Sayu
Reina
Koharu
Jun Jun
Lin Lin

but I highly doubt its Lin Lin, Jun Jun, Koharu, Reina, Sayu or Risa so new list :mon study: :
Rika
Miki
Konno
Risa
Sayu
Reina
Koharu
Jun Jun
Lin Lin


So the dreamer could be Yossie or Mako I doubt Aya so...

Umm... I'm gonna say this is Mako dreaming about Konno :bingo:
.... maybe I know its kinda random

No one on the corner got swagga like us!

Offline heyyouhiya

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2008, 06:03:49 AM »
a couple flaws in theories...
So I'm going to clarify some stuff that will probably make this more confusing; not less
mua hahaha

It is not a break up scene- so don't think they are any two people from common pairings
Not a dream
not time travel

Now...what could it be? hmm *stokes beard*


muahahaha
« Last Edit: May 17, 2008, 06:07:16 AM by heyyouhiya »

Offline takagakifan

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2008, 06:46:02 AM »
Is it a ghost? :mon huh:
No one on the corner got swagga like us!

Offline heyyouhiya

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2008, 12:20:56 AM »
^ Nope not a ghost either

and ^^; heheh I'm just letting you all know I got slammed with writing two papers this week soooo...
I have most of the first chapter written..but not edited at all
It will probably be more like tomorrow when I get it up
But no later than tomorrow! I promise =]

Offline sweeety

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2008, 12:21:48 AM »
astral projection?
Memory?
And is it an uncommon pairing like KameShige (you knoe, not common but still existing) or like GotoYui (First time couple -as far as you knoe)?

and is that bit set now? Or is it in the past which would mean iat could be Ai?

New crazy idea
Ai/Mako
or
Risa/Konkon

but long hair screams "Kaorin" to me.....
I have a porcupine called zazoom, he leaves his scent on peoples' graves.

Offline Kreuz_Asakura

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2008, 12:34:52 AM »
I'm going crazy but I would really like this idea:
Aya/Yossy :mon geek:

well, and about the situation :mon huh2: :mon dunno: :mon pick: :mon huh: :mon duh:  I give up :mon exhaust:
not a dream, not a ghost.... maybe they are in the future and Aya is an hologram :mon lol: but now that I think about it an hologram doesn't feel warm so  :mon yo:
ahhh... better I just wait :mon impatient:

Offline heyyouhiya

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Re: One Minute (Prolouge)
« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2008, 07:29:10 AM »
Guess who was able to get the first chapter done!!
Anyways, some things I should explain:
Because of how the plot is I changed a lot of ages, but its not even set that they're idols in the story so I don't think it matters.
Also, its more of a fantasy or science fiction story than anything...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 1: Smack

2 1/2 months earlier

Mangled steel was strewn across a small street in a fairly low populated area just north of the big city Tokyo. Various people slowly gathered around it confused as to how a tree could suddenly fall down and land on top of a man driving by in a small car. The whole area seemed to be in a huff over the incident as the local authorities began to arrive.

Well, everyone was panicking except one person who had slipped into a local coffee shop right after the tree had fallen. The shop owners weren’t even there, for they had run out to see the wreckage. The girl who could be no older that twenty stared out the window with a blank expression on her face as she watched the police pull the man out from the tree.

He was bleeding profusely from the head and his arm was sticking out in a strange angle, presumably broken. When an ambulance arrived and the paramedics began to stop the bleeding and put a brace around his neck, the young girl turned away and walked over to the counter.

She glanced down at her watch. There wasn’t a time displayed there like a normal watch would have; but rather it seemed to be counting down to something. Currently it read: “16:48:51.” Obviously it represented hours, minutes and seconds as the fifty-one was scrolling down quickly.

The girl sighed and ran a hand through her long brown wavy hair as she peered over the counter to see if anyone would serve her a cup of coffee. She had on a white collard shirt that was slightly puffy on the ends with a stripped black and white tie loosely hung around her neck. Her pants were black and then to contrast the black and white scheme, she had on bright yellow tenni-shoes.

Tapping said shoes and crossing her arms over her chest she finally got fed up and hopped over the counter. She watched out the window as she prepared coffee for herself. They were now trying to keep any more blood from escaping as they lifted the man onto a stretcher. She sighed; anyone looking on could tell that this man was going to die any second now.

She looked at her watch once more. “16:47:01” and then in a blink of an eye it flashed “00.” Smiling wickedly the girl looked up at the wreckage once more. It seems they haven’t noticed yet as they were still trying to save him.

Grabbing her cup of coffee she leapt over the counter once more and headed out the door, pressing a side button on the watch as she did. There was a strange white mist now floating above the mans corpse that no one but her seemed to notice. As she approached, while nonchalantly sipping her drink, the mist quivered slightly. Once she got about ten feet from the body the paramedics suddenly panicked as they finally noticed the man they had been trying to save had passed on.

Rolling her eye she lifted her arm bearing the watch slightly towards them causing the mist to quiver again. Pushing another button it slowly began to seep towards and into the face of the watch.

“What the…” she whispered as suddenly the mist stopped flowing into the face of her watch and it began to beep. No one could hear the beeping as the mans death had caused another wave of panic amongst the on lookers. Staring down at the watch it now flashed in a blood red color, “100%.”

Growling the girl threw down the coffee, causing a few stares, and marched away from the accident. “Fuck,” Fujimoto Miki mumbled as she made her way down various streets and to the local church.

* * * * *

Takahashi Ai glanced to her right to find her good friend Niigaki Risa sleeping peacefully on her desk as the teacher lectured. Her black hair was strewn across her face in a very messy fashion as she stirred slightly. Ai smiled to herself and glanced back out the window to the court yard below.

Suddenly she heard a loud whack and whirled her head around to see the teacher standing above Risa. “EHH!!??” She yelled loudly looking around the room confused. Everyone in the class began to giggle in there matching navy blue uniforms as Risa rubbed the back of her head.

“If you are that tired you might as well not come to school!” The teacher yelled, pointing her finger in the young girls face.

She bowed her head slightly, “I’m sorry it won’t happen again.”

“It best not,” the teacher scolded and she returned to the head of the classroom.

Ai sighed, she knew in the next five minutes Risa would be sleeping once again and then probably be kicked out of the classroom like usual. It’s a wonder she hasn’t been expelled yet. For a first year in high school she sure picked up a bad reputation with the teachers fast. Probably the only reason she got decent grades was because Ai would always help her…

Just as predicted, ten minutes later Ai watched as the teacher drug Risa out of the classroom by her ear and assigned her extra work. Lucky for her she didn’t have to stand out in the hall long as the bell rang not even five minutes after that.

Ai gathered up her things and went over to her other friend Kamei Eris desk. “Do you think Gaki will ever stay awake in at least one class?”

Eri shook her head laughing as she stood up slinging her bag over one shoulder. “I highly doubt it.”

The two exited the classroom and joined Gaki, as they called her, to head off home. Both of them playfully made fun of the sleepy girl as they walked.

Soon that daily ritual got boring and they began to talk of other things. Gaki looked over at Ai smiling mischievously. “So Ai-chan, did you hear our little Eri has her eye on a girl in our class?”

Eri turned a bright shade of red and immediately smacked Gaki across the back of her head hard, “Gaki!”

She rubbed the back of her head once again, “Eri what’d you do that for? I’m just trying to inform Ai about your crush on Michishige. Ow!” Eri had smacked her once again and stuck her nose up in the sky.

“I can’t believe I told you that,” she grumbled as Ai began to laugh at the two of them.

Gaki was still rubbing her head as she also laughed. “Oh like it isn’t obvious.” This time she was able to duck and avoid Eris hand as it swung down once again.

“So Eri,” Ai said sounding serious. “When are you going to propose to her?”

Eri growled slightly and looked away. “Never.”

“Aww why? You two would be so cute! A turtle and a bunny, I can see it now.” This time Gaki wasn’t able to avoid another smack on the head. “Stop hitting me!” she whined.

“Then shut up!”

“No.” Smack. “Stop!”

The two began to quarrel and Ai couldn’t help but just laugh and watch. The two would do this all the time it was a miracle they were actually friends. Soon however, she had to break off from the group as they got to her house.

Ai waved at the two as they walked away continuing to argue.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope for wonderful comments =]
« Last Edit: June 07, 2008, 09:04:31 AM by heyyouhiya »

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: One Minute (Chapter 1)
« Reply #16 on: May 19, 2008, 07:53:56 AM »
I'm totally loving where this is going so far! I know exactly what outfit you are describing Miki in.....it's this one, huh?

Love it, btw. She seems to have some kind of power where she can time ppl's deaths.....interesting. I'm definitely looking forward to learning more about this.
And Ai-chan, Gaki and Kame are so cute! Oooo, Kame has a crush on Shige! So adorable!
Can't wait for an update! I'm not sure my comment is as wonderful as you'd like.

Offline ringo-hime

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Re: One Minute (Chapter 1)
« Reply #17 on: May 19, 2008, 07:54:32 AM »
OHhh..miki and her wonder watch,, :O
i wnder wats that all about...SHINIGAMi..XD

GakiKame..nyahaha.. :lol: and Ai...hmm...

great chapter!~ can't wait for more.

ganbare~ XD

cool pic strawb3rrykream

Offline Sukoshi

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Re: One Minute (Chapter 1)
« Reply #18 on: May 19, 2008, 09:05:30 AM »
I read the first chapter...thought it was a break up story and then I read the second chapter...wow...this changes things a lot  :shocked:  I wonder who died in the first chapter  :cry:

So far this story is just excellent.  I really like the first chapter, I read it twice!  (it was so sad the first time..but then I read it again after the second chapter...the second time was just heartbreaking!)  the second chapter on the other hand was very cute!  Yay! so far the story has all my favourite characters.  I like the contrasting modes between the two chapters...I have a feeling the end is going to hit me like a ton of bricks...but since this story just started I can't wait for the next chapter~  :w00t:   

Offline lonewind

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Re: One Minute (Chapter 1)
« Reply #19 on: May 19, 2008, 10:00:22 AM »
 :w00t: wow i got to say i am very intested in this fic!! can't wait to read more!

 :wub: love the little Eri and Risa argurment! Eri and Sayu, is one paring i haven't heard about in a long time!

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