This may be confusing....
F.Y.I
Chapter 17
Cracked Heart
Go’s version
December 24 (11.00am)
I stood at the drop-off point in Narita Airport with my back leaning against the wall. I wondered for the hundredth time whether it was correct for me to be part of this test. It wouldn’t hurt anyone physically and I just wanted to make sure. As much as I wanted to see Aya, I didn’t want her to turn up. If she did, it would mean that what
she said was true. I wished for Aya’s happiness and I wanted to see that for myself before I leave the country. After all, I had hurt her greatly and this was the least I could do for her.
My train of thoughts was disrupted abruptly when I heard someone called my name. It was Risa. Probably she came to send me off but she was early. Way too early. I asked rather courteously, “Why are you here so early? My plane is only flying off at 3.25pm.”
She blushed. Oh well, she wasn’t the first Hello! Project girl who blushed when she talked to me. After all, I was Goto Maki. She rushed through her words, “I heard there’s a nice sushi restaurant in the airport. I think it’s quite romantic to dine in the airport with a clear view of the planes.”
“Oh,” I replied. I had absolute no interest in Gokkies but it would be okay to entertain her provided that Aya didn’t turn up.
“So I’m waiting for Ai-chan here.”
I laughed. Ai-chan? So it wasn’t about Goto Maki after all. “Why didn’t you just come here with Ai?” I asked.
“It won’t be the same. I think she will be touched to see me waiting here,” she replied. These girls really had grown up. A couple of years back, they wouldn’t even make an extra effort to make the other feel touched. That was pretty sweet of her to do so. Would Aya be touched to see me waiting here for her? I doubt so. I had hurt her too much for her to feel this way towards me. As much as I wanted her to be touched, I didn’t want to her to feel anything towards me which could spoil her happiness.
A taxi stopped in front of us and Ai came out of the taxi. Her eyes widened when she saw Risa standing there at the drop-off point waiting for her with a wide grin. Ai scratched her head and said awkwardly, “Oh shit! How long have you been waiting? Sorry that I arrived late!”
Risa shook her head, blushed and spoke gently, “You aren’t late…I’m just early. I want to wait for you…”
Ai turned and greeted me. She shouldn’t have even bothered greeting me. How much I wished I was invisible then. I nodded as an indication that I acknowledged her before I gazed at somewhere far away. I didn’t want to look at them as they brought back too many memories to me. We used to say cheesy things like that and we used to wait for the other. No, I shouldn’t think of those days. Aya’s happiness was the top priority even if that person she spent her life with wasn’t me.
Ai smiled and said, “Maki, we are getting in first. See you later!” I waved to them without exchanging much eye contact. I just didn’t want to look at them. It was just too painful to do so. They reminded me so much about us. Ai took Risa’s hand and they entered the airport complex together. I prayed that they wouldn’t have a similar ending as that of Aya and I.
Not before long, a taxi stopped and Aya popped out from the taxi. It had been some time since I last saw her. She seemed tired with the dark rings beneath her eyes and she was in deep thoughts. Bad signs. She looked in my direction once but she didn’t see me. She was too lost in her thoughts. Very bad sign. “Aya,” I called out. Even though I had been mouthing her name all these while to myself, it just seemed weird when I said it out loud to the girl I always loved.
I asked gently, “Shall we go in?” She nodded in agreement. Well, she didn’t have much of a choice there. When we were in the complex, I asked her, “Do you like Starbucks?” She nodded, avoiding eye contact with me. She was correct doing so. I was a jerk. She shouldn’t even speak to me at all. Maybe things weren’t that bad.
We walked to Starbucks in silence. I knew she didn’t want to speak to me and I didn’t want to talk while we walked. I mean, I didn’t prepare a lot of things to talk to her about and I would rather talk to her in Starbucks where I could have a good look at her while I spoke.
When we were in Starbucks, I led her to a cozy corner and we sat across each other after we bought our respective coffees. I took a sip of the latte in an attempt to calm my nerves before I spoke softly, “I’m sorry for dumping you like that. It was all my fault. I never expect you to forgive me. I never expect us to be anything again,” I paused and gazed at her.
Her eyes, nose and lips were still the same as before. No, I shouldn’t think of that. I lost my chance. She looked at me in the eyes and for that one moment, our eyes met. I wouldn’t be able to forget that moment. I could see the pain she was suffering from her eyes. Maybe I was the cause of the pain. Damn, I shouldn’t have agreed to help
her. Maybe it wasn’t me. Damn,
she might be right about it.
I continued, “Thank you for dropping your charges. Thank you, Aya.” Well, I really had to thank her. Jail wasn’t the best place on earth. But most of all, I wanted to thank her for those days that we spent together in the past. They were the best days of my life. I wondered if she got my message.
She smiled and spoke rather flatly, “I heard from Nacchi about you and I just sympathize with you. That’s all.” I didn’t quite know how to feel after I heard this line. Should I be upset that all she felt towards me was just sympathy? Or should I be delighted that she had already found happiness that I no longer mattered at all?
After she said that, she drank the cappuccino she had ordered rather clumsily. I couldn’t help but to smile. She was such a clumsy person but this made her all the more likable. I leaned across the table towards her and said gently, “There’s some cream on your face, Aya. Don’t move.” She obeyed and she didn’t move an inch.
Our faces neared. I could hear her heartbeat quickened. This was way too familiar for me. It was as though we had gone back in time and we were back in those days where we waited for each other. When our faces were inches apart, I summoned all my strength to stop myself from kissing her. As much as I wanted to taste her again, I didn’t want to ruin it all for her. I had to control myself.
Just at this moment, I heard footsteps moving towards us. I turned and to my horror, it was Miki. What timing. Maybe
she was right about it. Miki was just an insecure lover who couldn’t trust Aya. Aya just looked shocked beyond words to see Miki. How much I wanted to just grab Aya and kiss her at that moment. Why couldn’t she just trust Aya? But I didn’t want to spoil their happiness. After all, I was just part of the test.
My acting skills didn’t fail me this time round as I smiled and greeted her, “Hi Miki.”
I could see the rage inside her and I was expecting her to do something to me. Splash me with latte? Or maybe a slap? She raised her arm and slapped me hard on the cheeks. Real hard. How much I wanted to congratulate Fujimoto Miki for living up to her name. It was a really hard slap.
I concealed the pain I was experiencing and gave her a nonchalant look. I just wanted to spite her by depriving her of the satisfaction of slapping. Not that it was part of the ‘test’ but I just wanted to do so. I mean what else could she do after slapping me if I looked relaxed? From her eyes, I could see anger as well as menace. She bit her lips and ran off as quickly as she could.
Aya stood up and shouted ‘Miki-tan’ several times but Miki didn’t turn back. I knew I needed to say something. Aya, the blur queen, might just stand there calling her for the whole afternoon without moving a bit. “Go and chase after her. She likes you,” I said with a smile on my face. A worried and desperate Aya looked so adorable. Aya took off her heels and ran after her.
I took another sip of the latte before I took out the plane ticket from my bag and tore it up. There were things for me to do in Japan. This was getting interesting. Maybe I could even step in somewhere. Just maybe.
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Topic: F.Y.I 29 - Recurring Moments (Read 150987 times)