This chapter took me almost twice the amount of time than the previous one.The convo was kinda hard to write..
Enjoy!
WARNING: To everyone just to play safe, please put away your knives especially....ok, I shan't name but please put those dangerous objects away
F.Y.I
Chapter 20
Puppet
December 24 (1.01pm)
After Miki stopped crying, Yossie led Miki in silence to the taxi stand as Yossie believed that they needed to leave this place and they hopped into a cab. When they were in the taxi, Yossie asked softly, “Where do you want to go?” Miki shook her head absently with tears running down her cheeks again. Yossie knew that Miki wanted to be away from the crowd now but she couldn’t figure out where exactly to bring her to. It must be somewhere that Miki felt comfortable in.
“Excuse me, where do you want to go?” the taxi driver asked impatiently. Yossie told the driver her address and she was not surprised that Miki didn’t comment on what she just said.
Almost immediately after the driver stepped on the accelerator, Miki began to cry hard hoping that the engine noise could cover her sobs. She placed her hands over her eyes to cover her tears. Whenever the taxi stopped at a traffic junction, she would hold back her tears hoping that the driver wouldn’t notice that she was crying that badly.
It was just so typical of Miki to do so. Even when she was depressed, somehow her mind would subconsciously function in such a way that she still made sure that her image and ego were still intact. How much Miki wished at this moment that this subconscious function of her mind which she was always proud of never existed.
What had happened over the past hour replayed in her mind like a broken record and the more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that she shouldn’t have done that. She thought, “Maybe Aya wanted to tell me about this lunch appointment with that bitch yesterday. But I flared up at her and she didn’t have a proper opportunity to tell me. Maybe Aya was smiling for the sake of smiling just now. Maybe Aya wasn’t in for a kiss with Maki just now. Why did my mind work so fast and rush into a conclusion just now? If only I didn’t think about it, maybe it will be fine. If only I didn’t come to the airport to play safe, maybe it will be fine…”
Yossie remained silent throughout the whole journey. She didn’t know what to say to Miki. In fact, she didn’t quite know what was going on. Was that act just part of Miki’s game? What triggered her to do so? But why would Miki do so? She loved Aya. She felt an intense urge in her to ask Miki what had happened earlier but it seemed way too insensitive to ask now.
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December 24 (2.34pm)
After around an hour and a half ride, they arrived at Yossie’s apartment. Miki wiped the tears off her own face and asked flatly, “Where are we?”
Yossie was quite taken aback by Miki’s question.
Damn, maybe she doesn’t want to come to my place now after whatever that had just happened. Or maybe she just was lost in her thoughts just now and didn’t pay attention to what I said. Or maybe she hasn’t been coming up to my place and has forgotten where my place is and how it looks like. “My apartment. Is that fine with you?” Miki frowned and after a while, she nodded reluctantly.
When Miki entered the apartment, she sat on the couch and closed her eyes in an attempt to indulge herself in those blissful memories. Her eyes hurt when she closed it because she had been crying too hard for the past hour. She shook her head conceding defeat. A simple action of shutting her eyes brought pain to her eyes; a simple thought about the future brought pain to her heart. All she had left was an even harsher reality without the very one whom she loved with all her heart.
She took out her handphone from her bag and stared at it. There was no new message as expected. What would Aya say to a girl who had shattered her heart with her own hands? She clicked ‘inbox’ and reread the messages Aya had sent her days ago.
The last one was dated December 23 4.03pm and the message was: “Miki-tan, I’ll be home very soon. Don’t miss me too much. Take a nap. Or have a kit-kat. ^^”
It sounded so innocent like always and she wondered whether she would receive a similar message dated somewhere after December 23. She had spoiled their relationship with her own rashness, jealousy and competitiveness.
For almost 7 years, she had worked hard on this relationship and eventually it evolved from friendship to love. She treasured every single smile and every single tear between them. She had long forgotten how life was without Aya and it seemed impossible to live on without Aya. How much she wished that this was a nightmare and Aya would be right beside her when she woke up.
Just as she was beginning to cry again, Yossie offered her a glass of orange juice. Miki took a sip of the juice before she placed it on the coffee table and continued crying. The sourness that she had just tasted just confirmed that this wasn’t a nightmare. It was reality.
Yossie sat beside Miki and waited for an opportunity to ask Miki what had happened. This was the worst feeling ever – wanting to console someone you care for but not being about to do so because you don’t know what have happened.
After about 10 minutes, Miki stopped crying and Yossie decided that it was time to ask. She wanted to console Miki in the best way ever apart from been there for her. Yossie held her hand and whispered, “What happened?”
Miki stared blankly at the fruit juice for some time as she debated over whether she should tell Yossie or not. It was just too painful to say it out but it would be unfair to Yossie if she didn’t tell her. After all, she made use of her.
Miki rushed through her words, “Aya went to see Maki behind my back and Maki almost kissed her. I got pissed off so I…” Miki’s voice trailed off as she started crying again. Those scenes and emotions hurt her so badly whenever she thought about it. She wondered just how much she had hurt Aya. It must be at least 100 times greater than what she was experiencing right now.
Yossie thought for a while before she spoke softly, “So you kissed me to take revenge on them. Or, to be more precise, you wanted to take revenge on Aya.” Miki didn’t respond which meant that her hypothesis was correct.
Silence fell between them for almost 5 minutes before Miki whispered in a sincere voice, “I love Aya. I really do.”
“But if you do love her, why did you do that to hurt her?” Oops, those words just came out a little too quick. Yossie prayed that she hadn’t hurt Miki with that.
Miki shook her head. Tears ran down her cheeks as she spoke, “I don’t know, bad, horrible and crazy thoughts ran through my mind and it culminated into revenge…I didn’t mean to hurt her. I love her…”
“This isn’t love at all,” Yossie murmured more to herself than to Miki.
Miki, with her ever sharp ears, heard that comment and questioned with her typical sharpness, “What do you know about love, big flirt?”
“At least I won’t hurt her intentionally,” Yossie said defensively.
Miki felt as though Yossie was taunting her with that statement. She was frustrated with herself inside and the last thing she needed now was for someone to taunt her like that. She looked at Yossie right in her eyes and said flatly, “Oh yeah? Even a horrible person like me knows that love doesn’t come from the mouth; love comes from the heart.”
“At least I won’t take on the ‘an eye for an eye’ approach and kiss a hot chick so as to deliberately hurt my lover and screw up my love relationship.” She knew she was going overboard but she didn’t like the fact that Miki had hit the nail on its head a moment ago with what she said. Oh well, she was just applying the Fujimoto Miki’s ‘an eye for an eye’ approach.
Miki frowned and she said without exchanging any eye contact with Yossie, “I didn’t choose you. You just happened to be there. I wanted to choose Ai actually but I didn’t have the heart to spoil her little romance with Risa!””
Yossie stood up and raised her voice, “What do you mean by that? So you think that it’s ok to spoil my romance with Rika by doing that?”
“That didn’t cross my mind…”
“So you just treated me like a puppet? Or to be more exact, the replacement puppet for Ai?”
“So what if I did? I already apologized!”
What’s your freaking problem, Yoshizawa Hitomi? Yossie rolled her eyes. “You mean that silly ‘I’m sorry’ after you kissed me just now? Did you even think about how I feel?”
Miki lowered her voice, “Sorry.”
Yossie held her shoulders and shouted with tears welled up in her eyes, “Did you think about how I feel at all? Did it even cross the great Fujimoto Miki’s mind? Tell me!”
You’re such a selfish moron, Fujimoto Miki! Miki closed her eyes which were still hurting as much as before. This would go down as the worst day in her life. It started with losing her lover because of her actions and now, she was on the verge of losing her friend because of her words. She said firmly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t.”
Yossie nodded. With every single word that Miki spoke, her heart ached. She was just treated like a puppet despite her efforts to revive their friendship by trusting her and caring for her. She felt stupid thinking that they might be lovers. She wasn’t even treated like a friend. “Did you even feel anything when we kissed?” she asked softly. She dreaded the answer but she needed to know.
Miki shook her head. “I’m sorry if you did feel something. But why would you? There-”
Yossie stared blankly at the glass of orange juice that Miki had just drunk and interrupted in a soft voice, “What if I like you?”
Miki laughed. “Don’t joke about this Yossie. You like Rika,” she paused before adding as an afterthought, “Our relationship isn’t heading anywhere towards love. Not even with the kiss.”
Yossie smiled in an attempt to mask the pain she was feeling inside. Was that how one felt after a rejection? Or was that how one felt in an unrequited love? Maybe she just had been thinking too much. “You’re right about it,” Yossie said as firmly as she could.
What was she right about? The fact that I like Rika? Or the fact that our relationship isn’t heading anywhere towards love? Yossie spoke as happily as she could, “Fujimoto, I just remember that I left something behind in the studio yesterday. I got to go. Hope you are feeling better! Bye!”
She ran out of her own apartment and slammed the door shut behind her. It was such a dumb excuse. It was even dumber for her to leave her own apartment like that. But she didn’t want to be with Miki right now as she feared that Miki would be able to tell that what she said earlier wasn’t entirely a joke.
Miki took another sip of the orange juice and she smiled to herself. She thought, “At least I didn’t screw up our friendship, Yossie.” After that thought had flown out of her mind, she stared blankly at her phone again, waiting for that miracle to happen. She felt that if the phone was to vibrate at this very second, her heart would stop beating. Thankfully or unthankfully, her phone didn’t vibrate and her heart beat on and she lived on in this nightmare that she created with her own hands.
*Play Love and peace hero ga yattekita*
Topic: F.Y.I 29 - Recurring Moments (Read 150716 times)