Writerjunkie's one-shot(UPDATE 1/2) Delusion

[.Mikoto]

Long time no-posting T_T
I really like this fic , it was really sexy (Miki-sama punish me~ xDD)
Poor Eri I don´t want been S(well maybe a little  )
I really do Love your fics 

[JFC]

Title: Possession
Oshit...

[writerjunkie]

Title: Closure

NOTES: This is a fan fic request I saw on JPH!P by KonaKaga and I decided to give it a try. Sorry it took so long because I wasn't sure if i should take this request since it was kind of old and I had some problems writing it. I still think it needs some fixing up, but here you go anyways.

“What happened? What did they say? Gaki-san!”

I don’t know how I can say this to Eri with out hurting her. I don’t think I cannot hurt her even if I didn’t wanted to. I won’t lie and there’s no way working around it to say this nicely. I stay silent to think of a better way to tell her. I’m stumped. Her mind is probably going a mile a minute as she waits for me to say something. She can’t take the suspense. She puts her hands into mine and squeezes my hand. I barely smile to her loving gesture that normally would make me feel better or calm me. It looks like it isn’t going to cut it today. She sees my lack of a smile and from that she knows something is wrong. She holds my hand tighter this time. She’s scared and I am too. I mentally prepare myself for the horrible news. I’m not sure if she can take it.

“They want us to break up and pretend this never happened or we graduate.” I tell her, in the nicest way I can.

What I said still has the negative effect on her like I vision. She’s devastated. Torn. Crushed. I don’t know what to do. I expected her to be like this, but it’s still hard to watch. She’s unhappy and I never want that. She bites her bottom lip then breathes out.

“T-That’s not fair! We can’t…we’re not going to break up, right?”

She looks at me to confirm her statement. And I wish I can, but for once I can’t. I won’t be able to. My eyes cast to the carpet of my room. I can’t face her. No one can make us end our love like this! It isn’t right! She latches on to my arms and shakes me to get some sort of a response. She wants me to look at her, but I won’t. I refuse to.

“Y-you want to break up with me?” Her voice cracks and I feel my heart break too

I don’t think she will understand how I’m trying to help her. I’m trying to save her from being shunned from the rest of the world. She wouldn’t be able to survive the wrath of the world or the publicity that will shoot through the roof if our relationship gets on the paper. It’ll most definitely be on the front page and the people will eat it up. We’ll constantly be questioned. We’ll become targets. Problems will spark and a huge wild fire will come after it. I just can’t have that.

“Eri, it’s the only way,” I insist, I don’t even believe half of what I just said

“No it isn’t! Gaki-san, I love you! And I don’t want to lose you.”

She pushes my face forward to have me look at her. Her face is covered with tears. My chest hurts. I knew this was coming too. It’s still just too painful. Her cheeks sparkle with the salty tears that paint her face. I grind my teeth to hold back sobs; I’m about to bawl. Why can’t this be easy? What else do I do without having to suffer? I stand and wait for Eri to yell at me- to beg me to make the right decision. She’s been still after she got me to look at her. All she does is hug me. She nearly knocks me over and I stumble at the impact. Her body presses against mine. Her arms go around my neck in a strong hold. I can feel her body quake and her hot tears damp my shirt. This is too much. What do I do? What can I possibly say to make this better? Nothing can be done. Nothing can salvage our quickly vanishing relationship.

“Please, don’t leave me! Risa, don’t leave me.” She chants

Her painful plea breaks me apart and I fell my tears fall instantly. I put my arm around her curvy frame and my right hand brushes through her smooth locks. Kame- The only girl in my life, my only weakness, my beautiful angel…I’m sorry to be the one to make you fall.

“Tell me this isn’t the end?”

I remain quiet. Maybe if I don’t say it she’ll be less sad, because a part of me doesn’t want to hear it either. We know it will happen, but we’ll avoid it. We won’t speak those dreaded words. It’s becoming harder to breath. I hate this. I can’t express how much. She moves back an inch to see my face. Her cheeks are flushed and her nose is red from all these unnecessary tears. Yet you’re still so beautiful, Kame. You’re always beautiful.

“Gaki-san! I need to know! Tell me!” She implores

I finally cry and breathe out slowly. There is no point in avoiding it. It’s in our faces. I never break eye contact like I did before. I’ll have to say it. I’ll admit it not only to her but also to myself.

“I’m sorry, Eri.”

And that’s all I can say. She knows what that means. She can put the pieces together. I break down. She falls to her knees and I follow after. Whatever she feels, I feel it too. I always can feel what she does, somehow we're connected. And that brings us closer. Right now I'm not sure if it will. I hold her and take her hand. She’s so torn. She barely could form words.

“It…I…we were…it isn’t fair!” is all she can say

“I know. I know.”

I close my eyes. Thousands of tears come out from my closed lids. I’m glad she doesn’t have to see this. I don’t want her to see me break down. Because I’m supposed to be strong for her, I’m the glue to keeping her stable. All I can do is agree with whatever she has to say. I’m useless. I’m a horrible girlfriend! I can't protect her! I can’t save us.

I’m sorry. I never meant to clip your wings.

 ***

From there on it’s been hard for me. And Eri isn’t any better. She smiles less and barely talks. I think it also has to do with how cold everyone is treating her. Sayu doesn’t talk with her and often avoids her as well as the rest of the group. It’s like she’s the freak of the group. Ai-chan treats me the same way. We’re both alone. Shunned by the people we’ve grown so close to. I’m starting to think if this is worth it. Should I have chosen the graduation than this? Rather than satisfy the agency and the fans? I’m so unhappy and so is Eri. I’m tried of people treating us like we don’t exist or we’re not worth their time. It feels like I shouldn’t have the right to exist because I fell in love with Eri. Why isn’t Ai here for me when I need someone right now? I walk into the room we share to try and catch up on lost sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well for over a week and I barely eat. I’ve lost weight dramatically, everyone knows. They don’t say anything though. They don’t care. No one cares anymore. When I needed to get my room changed Ai had no problem rooming with me. I’m surprised she agreed, because no one else would. I thought she had agreed because she got over the fact I was dating Eri and wanted to make our friendship work again, but I was wrong. Nothing changed. We are just two sudden strangers sharing a room. She’s in the room when I enter, but like always she’s silent and she ignores me. She looks at me ever so often, but that’s it. Today is different. When I’m done getting dressed and get into bed, she speaks.

“You shouldn’t have broke the rule.” She says, coldly.

She turns away from the mirror of her dresser and I stand frozen in shock that she spoke to me in so long. We room together, but it’s like we’re two completely different people living together, so we never spoke- until today. Her eyes seem full of disappointment and anger.

“I don’t get why you didn’t listen. Now you’re left to suffer.”

“I knew the risk. I knew how bad things could get.”

“Then why did you continue it? Why did you even date HER?”

“Because I love her.”

I mean those words with my heart. I mean them more than I’ve ever meant anything else in my entire life. I don’t regret saying them either. Ai frowns and faces away from me.

“Would you have been happier if I dated a boy?” I growl

“It would make you at least look decent on the papers.”

I’m furious. This isn’t the Ai-chan I know. What’s wrong with her? What happened to my best friend? Who is this person? I can’t stand her! My jaw goes tight and my teeth press together, grinding.

“So you’re against me because I just so happened to find love with a girl?! You of all people I would have thought you would understand.”

She chuckles. “Well I don’t. I’m done talking to you goodnight, Risa.”

 She goes into bed and I’m left furious. Is that what everyone thinks? That I’ve made the hugest mistake of my life? That I’m some piece of trash on the side since I feel for a girl? Am I cursed now for my choice? I don’t think so. If this is what everyone thinks then I wonder if Eri gets the same feeling. All I can think about is Eri and if she’s getting treated the same way as me. I get into bed too to try and sleep, despite the cruel words I’ve just received.

 ***

The following day while walking to the lounge I spot Reina in the hall talking to someone. I can’t see whom since she’s blocking my view. It’s probably one of the girls. I don’t think much of it though. All the girls here talk to each other in the halls about latest news, PVs, singles, albums, or dances. That’s nothing new. I walk closer, paying no mind until I get within earshot of the conversation.

“You’re better off just leaving Morning Musume. We don’t need people like YOU around. You make us look bad. I’m surprised they even let you stay! It’s not like your loss will effect us.”

I stop and put together whom she’s talking to. I can hear sniffling and sobbing. She has some nerve! She’s no better than us, picking on Eri like this. She won’t get away with this! I turn around.

“Shut up Reina!” I scream, “Quit being such a bitch and leave Eri the hell alone before I make you!”

She glares at me and folds her arms in a challenging pose. I’ll make her think twice before saying such things to Eri. I’ll make her regret her words! She’s already suffering from our break up and now this?! Unacceptable! Reina rolls her eyes and scoffs.

“You’re not worth my time.”

Then she walks away. I hurry over to Eri to see if she’s ok. She holds on to me the instant I’m close to her. She’s in worse condition than me. Her face is pale and her eyes are puffy. She can’t hold up by herself.

“Gaki-san, I can’t! This is too much. I don’t want to do this anymore.” She mumbles into my neck. “Everyone hates me! I don’t want to go through this.”

I feel the urge to cry again. Only she does that to me. She can only bring a reel of emotions inside me and they often get the better of me. Keep it together. There's no time to fall apart. She needs me. She's in her weakest form. Ok. If that’s what she wants then that’s what she’ll get. I hug her tight to comfort her.

“Ok Kame.” I agree "Ok."

 ***

I spoke to my manager after that incident. I couldn’t get it out of my mine. It bothered me constantly. I had to straighten everything out once and for all. So I made a meeting with my manager and we had a long talk on my decision. He wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing. He was not only looking out for me, but my career too. He knew the risk and results if I chose to graduate and to be honest I was more than sure on my choice. I knew this was the right thing, not for the fans or the public, but for me and for Eri. He tried to talk me out of leaving at first, but my mind was set. There was nothing that could be said to persuade me. So it was settled after an hour of talking things through. I left the boardroom when we were done and I was so tired. The conversation was draining, but I still had one more thing to do. I had to see Eri. I’m on my way right now to give her the good news. I don’t know if she’ll be awake since it’s late. But I don’t want to wait. I have to tell her now. I’ll just have to see if she’s asleep when I get there. The walk isn’t long. The meeting room was close to her room. When I see her door come into view I speed up my pace and knock on the door a few times when I get there. It’s silent on the other end. Maybe she is asleep. Should I stay here? The door opens seconds later, answering my question. I stand up straight, nervously and frown when I see her face. She looks horrible. She's a mess. My chest wrenches at the sight of her state of health.

“Gaki-san?”

I gulp, at a loss for words at her condition. I’m sure she hasn’t been eating and sleeping looks like she hasn’t had any in weeks. She wipes her eyes and sniffles.

“What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?”

She motions for me to enter. Her room is messier than normal. Her bed is undone. The place is trashed. Has she stayed awake in bed all night? What has she been doing? She must have given up on everything. I hope she hasn’t done anything to herself! She’s smarter than that! I take a seat on to her bed. While trying to keep my cool. She joins me with the same grave face as before. She was probably in here crying. She’s suffering so much. I need to put a stop to it.

“It’ll be ok Eri.” I say, not really believing the words myself

It will probably be ok for now, but for later I have no idea what will happen to us. And that’s a scary thought.

“No, it won’t. How can you say that?! Don’t you see what’s happening? How can you still remain positive? Look at me Risa! It feels like I’m…dying.”

She cries again and I hold her like I always have. I know she can’t take anymore of this. She’s lost. I lie down on the bed and bring her with me. It brings some comfort to her. Her crying has stopped for a second. We face each other while lying on our sides. One hand is tucked under my head for cushion. I stay here and watch her cry. She’s still so beautiful- so defenseless yet still stunning and able to capture my heart. That will never cease to amaze me. Still an angel that anyone would be lucky to have and I’m glad she’s mine. In my heart she’ll always be mine. And I’ll always be hers. I speak when her crying is down to sniffling and uneven breathing. She’s still trying to keep things together.

“We’re going to be ok now, Kame. We’re going to graduate together. This is all going to stop.” I whisper

Her tear filled eyes lock with mine and I see a small sparkle form. And in a very long time I get to see her happy self again. Her happy smile. She’s filled with life once again. She isn’t lifeless anymore. Her sorrow can end. She’s relieved and I am too. She shifts closer to me. I put my arm around her waist. I can feel her breath against my neck, tickling me. Her body sags down from all her stress and emotional baggage she’s been carrying. She can rest now. She can finally close her eyes. I smile. For once I can help her. I no longer feel useless and helpless. I can do something! We can finally be at peace…together.

[KonaKaga]

 

Those were the emotions I went through when reading that 
Man, you rock Junkie! (Can I call you Junkie? )
That was so sad

Somehow the line that sticks in my head the most is:

“Ok Kame.” I agree "Ok."

[writerjunkie]

yes you can call me that. Just about any nickname is fine with me. =) I'm glad you enjoyed the one-shot.

[strawb3rrykream]

Owie, my heart hurts now. I mean, the ending was happy-ish but reading the way everyone treated them was agony.

[JFC]

Eri =
Risa =


JFC =

I take only take comfort in the fact that this is an obvious AU story (because we know that the other members wouldn't/couldn't be THAT coldhearted).

[writerjunkie]

Title: The Most Precious Gift


I don't know if this will work but it's worth a shot. I don't know any other way to talk to her. And it seems that the more she's away from me the more awkward our talks to each other get and that's not supposed to happen when you're dating someone. I don't get why she's become so distant. She's been like that ever since we had sex which was a month ago so for one whole month we haven't talked. We haven't done anything together. She's just given me the cold shoulder and it doesn't make any sense why. This makes me worry. Did I do something wrong or has something happened to her? I can't stand to see our relationship turn like this. I have to do something about this. I have to know how to fix it. I'm tired of being avoided. And I'm tired of panicking over what will happen to us. I'm going to put a stop to this. I'm going to clear everything between us. I hear the elevator to her apartment floor ding and I stand up straight away from the wall. I'm so nervous. My blood is rushing through my head and my hands are starting to sweat. I can't back down. I have to do this if I want us to be ok again. The doors open and my heart is racing off the scale. I'm scared and on the verge of panicking. I gulp back all these overpowering emotions to fighting the urge to gag. I've never been so scared to talk with her before. We've always been free and open to each other. I thought we worked out all our insecurities and doubts. We've been dating for months, but now with the way she's acting it's hard to tell if we have a relationship anymore. I look down the hall, waiting for her to step out and then to take my chance to race up to her before she notices I'm here. She might run towards the stairs if she sees me. I'm not sure, but I'm not taking any chances. I can hear heels tap lightly against the slick floor and my heart swells when I see her, standing completely in the hall, transfixed on her cellphone. She's probably reading the number of text messages I've sent her this past week. My phone bill must be so high sending those, but I could care less. Now is my chance to get her. I run through the hall and grab her arm. She jumps and lets out a scream, completely caught of guard.

“Ai-chan?! What are you doing here?! You scared me to death!” She wails, placing a hand to her racing chest.

“I have to talk with you.” My voice is stern.

Her eyes flash from fear to dread. She must have knew this was coming. We haven't talked in a little over a month. Would she think I would continue to let that happen? I love her. I can't just let this happen. She stares at me, frozen. I look at her, determined to get my moment alone with her. She can't turn me down, I won't let her. I tighten my hand around her arm.

“I need to speak with you Risa.”

“I...I can't Ai-chan. Now isn't a good time.” She mumbles.

She puts her head down unable to meet my gaze.

“Then WHEN is a good time Risa?! When? I have tried calling you all month but you haven't returned my calls or my messages. I don't even get a reply saying your ok. It's like you...don't want to be with me anymore. What have I done to upset you? Please I need to know.” I plead. “I have a right to know.”

“You wouldn't understand.”

I grab her shoulders with both hands in a strong grip. She flinches. Yeah so I'm mad, but who wouldn't be when the girl you're in love with just suddenly ignores you like you don't exist for a month! Mad would be an understatement.

“I'm not letting you go until we talk!”

I can see her visibly shake. She's never seen me this angry. I've lost my cool. I'm desperate and in pain from her sudden disappearance. I loosen my hold and sigh, controlling my anger and putting on a much calmer and nicer face. I shouldn't be getting this angry at her. I have to keep some control or else we won't be able to talk this out. I sigh.

“I'm sorry. I just...please let's talk about this?” I ask.

She nods, giving in to my demand. As if I would leave if she had said no. So I might be alittle stubborn, but I think I deserve an explanation. She walks down the hall, leading me to her apartment door. She fishes her keys out of her purse and unlocks the door. When the door opens I feel nervous all over again. I'm not sure what I to say. I haven't gone over it that well in my head. I was mostly sure that Risa would not allow me to speak with her and just leave or tell me to leave. But she's given in and now I have to figure this out before the conversation can start. We stop in the living room and Risa turns around, a little worried herself. It makes me wonder why she's this scared. I don't want to think too much on that because my mind will start racing and I'll think the worse possible scenarios. I need to keep it together.

“Would you...like something to drink?” Risa questions.

“No, I'm fine.” I reply, sharply.

Risa fidgets, trying to find the words to say something. Shouldn't I be the one doing that? Should I sit down first or stand? Screw it I'll just talk now.

“You've become so distant lately.” I start.

Yeah one whole month is lately. Her eyes shift to somewhere else other than my face.

“Do you have any idea how much you put me through? I don't understand, why are you like this?” There's silence. “You don't love me anymore? Is that it? I wasn't enough to for you?!”

“No, Ai-chan it isn't like that.” She responds.

“Then what is it Risa!? You have me scared. Do you want to break up? Couldn't you have thought of a better way to tell me instead of leaving me to suffer?”

My hands curl up into fist. I'm angry again, beyond what I can imagine. I don't think I can stay calm anymore. Risa turns away, her back facing me.

“You wouldn't understand.”

I reach for her arm and spin her around. I pull her close to me, locking our eyes together in an intense stare.

“Then HELP me understand! I don't want to lose the person I'm so deeply in love with.” I cry.
Her eyes start to tear and her free hand lifts up to her stomach as if trying to protect something precious to her. What is she so afraid of?

“I'm pregnant.” she says in a hushed tone.

What?

I let go of her arm as if I were burned. I take a step back. Am I hearing things? If I weren't angry enough before I sure am now. I grab the collar to Risa's shirt and shake her.

“You've cheated on me?!”

She shakes her head repeatedly. “N-no, I didn't!”

Tears shine her cheeks, but that doesn't stop me from losing my top. I can't believe her! After all I've done for her! What we've been through together she decides to mess it up by doing THIS?! She's betrayed me.

“Don't LIE to me Risa!” My grip closes tighter around her shirt. “Who is he? What's his name!?”

“Ai-chan I didn't cheat on you! You're the only person I've been with, I swear.”

She needs to STOP lying to me. This isn't making things better. She's just trying to protect him, isn't she? I'll find him eventually and I'll be sure that he won't be able to walk when I'm through with him. And that's if I've changed my mind to suddenly kill him first. I push Risa to the ground, too disgusted to look at her. She looks up at me from the ground, brokenhearted. I stare down at her, showing no remorse. I'm too heated to care what I've just done. She's broken my heart now it's only fair that I've somewhat broken hers. She expects me to buy this crap? I don't think so. Does she think I'm stupid?!

“When you're ready to tell me the truth you know where I'll be.” I growl. “Until then...don't even THINK about trying to speak to me. As far as I'm concerned...we're over Risa.”

I turn around, walking towards the door.

“Ai-chan wait! Please, I'm not lying! Ai-chan!”

Her soft crying as I march away makes me want turn back and hold her. It kills me to see that I'm leaving her like this. I love her so much. I don't want to leave her like this but I can't go back. My choice is set. She had her chance to tell me the truth instead of this poorly thought out lie. I can't forgive her. I want to but I just can't. She's hurt me, badly.

***

We haven't talked in two months. I didn't expect her to be this stubborn. All I want is the truth from her. Is that too hard to ask? I'm a mess without her. But how can I go back to her or trust her after what she's done? I can't just easily forgive her. What she has done has gotten to me. But even if I'm angry at her or hurt I keep thinking about her. I wonder how she's doing. Do our friends know what's happening? I shouldn't be thinking about this. I came out here to try and forget everything and yet even after two months I can't. I slouch onto the bar table and sigh. I motion for the bartender to come over and order a pitcher of beer. I've been doing this a lot when the thinking has become too much. It helps...sometimes and other times I drink until I eventually pass out at home. I have been refused a few times anymore drinks because I was too drunk. At least the bartender is nice enough to order me a cab and make sure I'm on my way safely to bed. I grab the pitcher handle the second it's given to me and instantly pour myself a glass all the way to the brim. Well...here goes to another drunk restless night. I slide the cup over and go to take my first swig.

“Don't you think you've been doing this enough?”

I put my cup down and stare at the man to my right. Who the hell is he?! He can't tell me what to do. I'm old enough to make my own choices! And if I want to drink until I lose all my brains cells or have alcohol poisoning I can! He can't change that. He isn't my father and even if he were it would not make a difference. I glare at him. He isn't afraid to look back at me despite my scowl and he even smiles. The smile is warm smile. As we stare at one another I take the opportunity to really look at him. He's tall, nicely dressed decked in formal clothing. He has to be the only guy here wearing suit. Clothes like this make him stand out like a sore thumb. He probably isn't from around here either, looking him over more carefully, I also notice that he must be much older than me. He certainly acts wiser. His hair is black and short, slicked back and neat not a single hair out of place. His eyes twinkle with a welcoming kind of shine. Why does he keep acting like he knows me. How can he know me when I don't even remember him? I have no slightest memory of meeting him. Is he stalking me? I turn back to my cup to continue drinking endlessly.

“Do you want your child to not grow up with a single parent?” He questions again.

I nearly drop my glass to the floor. Everything inside me ran cold flooded with dread. My body hunches over and my hands turn clammy.. Did he just say what I think he did? Slowly, I turn back to him, still trying to taking in what he just said. How does he know anything about me or my relationship? And most importantly...MY child? Or so Risa claims it to be my child. This man isn't a stalker he is some crazed man that belongs in the nut house. We lock eyes again and he has on the same cheery smile. What's there to smile about?! He's starting to freak me out. Is he messing with me? He's the father of that kid isn't he?! And he just came here to rub everything in my face. He has a lot of nerve coming over here to face me! I should kill him right where he stands. My hands tighten to fist while collecting together the pieces as to how he would know such personal matter. I want to punch his face in SO bad. He's ruined everything! He's come between Risa and I. Now I'll never get to see her. She'll even probably marry this guy. She won't let the child grow up fatherless. I feel my heart crush into pieces to this harsh fact. We'll never be together again. I feel tears quickly forming I bite my bottom lip to contain myself. I'm going to lose her. I'm going to lose the person I'm so in love with.

“Oh silly girl, I am NOT the father. You are.” The strange man corrects.

“What?” I croak.

“That child is yours. I only helped you make the child.” He explains. “I've chosen both of you to receive this gift. Don't you remember feeling a little strange during your date at that restaurant?”

As if I could forget it. It was our perfect date. Nothing had gone wrong. It had to be one of the happiest days for her. I have never seen her smile so much. They were special smiles only the type that would be given to me and it made my heart beat a thousand times faster. At the end of the night had left. Exiting the restaurant, we felt...different. I've had strong urges to kiss her and hold her. I was more...touchy to put that into a nicer term. Risa was even surprised then I was. I couldn't keep my hands off her and when we got home we...wait I'm starting to remember now. That drink I had ordered. I knew it tasted strange. And now that I think about I do remember seeing some older man looking at us, grinning as I drank the entire cup. I don't remember his face, but the smile I remember.

“That was you!?” I shout. “What did you do to me!?”

He lets out a small laugh. “Relax, I've done nothing to hurt you. I've only given you both something you wouldn't be able to make by yourselves. I don't normally do this, but I felt that you deserved it. The love you have for each other is quite remarkable. I've never seen one this strong.”

I don't understand. I stare at him, blinking, trying to process the latest piece of information. This isn't possible. There is now way. No way that I could have impregnated her! I don't have what is needed to make a child! Yet he seems so sure about this. This doesn't seem right. His eyes sparkle a mysterious glow. His smile is still intact, still soft and gentle. But that very smile is taunting me. He seems so sure of himself it makes this whole crazy situation believable. Have I somehow gone insane too overnight?

“Who are you?” I ask.

He lets out a light laugh. “That really isn't important. What you really should be doing is going back to that woman you love. She needs you the most.” He pats me gently on the shoulder. “Have a goodnight Takahashi-san.”

He walks away before I can get another word in. How did he know my name? What IS he? I turn back to my cup, staring and sulking. I'm not sure if I want to get drunk tonight. He's spoiled it for me. I can't drink this anymore. Why did he have to show up!? He ruined everything for me! But wait...that means he's not the father and if what he said is true then...that isn't right though! Something like this can't happen! It just can't! I push my mug filled with beer away from me and exhale. I don't know what to do anymore. I slip out a few bills from my pocket and place it on to the table before leaving. What am I going to do? Where should I go? I still can't believe this. I would have to see it for myself to believe it.

***

“Ai?”

I rub the back of my head, sheepishly. I put on a shy smile and wave, weakly. This is the only thing I can do. This is the only thing I know what to do. I hope this doesn't fail me. It's the only plan I have.

“Hi...Sayu, is uh...Risa there?” I ask.

“Come in.” She replies.

She steps aside and I slowly make my way inside Risa's apartment. I didn't think Risa would have company over. But I think they would come even if she had not asked them. She had good friends who really care about her. Sayu closes the door and joins me in the living room. This feels all too familiar for me. I can still remember the fight we had. The words that were exchanged and the emotions that ripped through me are still fresh in my mind. As if I could forget them.

“Sayu who is it?!” Reina stops in the hall way and glares at me. “You.” she hisses, her arms cross in front of her chest. “What are YOU doing here? You don't belong here. She doesn't need you! Haven't hurt her enough?”

My jaw clenches tight together. I guess they do know about our break up. Then why did Sayu let me in?

“I...I want to talk to her.”

Reina chuckles. “I'm not letting you in that easily. Why don't you just leave?”

I can feel my arms shake. There is no time for backing down. I came here to make things right and that's exactly what I intend to do. Even if I have get through Reina to do it.

“It isn't up to you to say that I can't apologize. All I want to do is talk to her. I want to know from her that I can't see her again. You have no say in this, Reina.” I shoot back.

We stare at each other, hotly. I'm not moving. I'm not going to let her win and she isn't going to let herself lose. She's quite determined and I'm very stubborn. This could turn violent if none of us back down.

“Let her go Reina.” Sayu interrupts. “Gaki-san is a mess without her. Let them talk. Maybe they can work things out.”

“But Sayu,” She given a strong stare and sighs then steps aside, letting me pass.

I'll have to thank Sayu another time for letting me do this once I fix things with Risa. I can feel Reina's glare on me as I pass her, but I pay no attention to it since the only person on my mind is Risa. I walk to her bedroom, but the room is empty. Where else could she be? At least I know she's here. Her bed isn't made so she has to be here, somewhere. Down the hall I can hear mumbling and the sound of a constant flushing toilet. She has to be there. I follow the noise, not sure what to see when I get there, but I'm ready for it. I take each step carefully, scared as I draw near. This is it. This is where I'll know if I can fix things and have Risa back. I step into the bathroom.

“Gaki-san, are you ok? Maybe you shouldn't eat sushi.” Eri questions, patting Risa on the back.

Risa clings on to the toilet sink, gasping for air. She coughs several times and pushes back her bangs. I've never seen her this defeated. She's so vulnerable.

“I'll be fine Kame. It's just morning sickness.” Risa mumbles.

Her hand tiredly reaches up to the knob of the toilet to flush down the remains of her meal. Eri doesn't seem convinced. She pats Risa on the back some more to try and sooth her nausea. Risa takes a piece of toilet paper and carefully wipes her mouth then puts it into the toilet. The pregnancy is finally showing. I wonder if she's gain a large amount of weight too. A lot has happened in just three months and I've missed it. I can't make up for it but I can still be here for what's going to happen now. That's the least I can do. Eri looks up and notices me standing, fearfully into the doorway. She looks at me in shock as if not expecting me to never show up. Risa notices the change in Eri's behavior and turns around. I feel my body lock into place as she faces me, her face just as surprised as Eri's. We stare at each other in silence and Eri takes this as her time to go. She quietly gets up and dashes towards the door, leaving me finally alone with Risa. I slowly make my way to her and stand there, still silent.

“Hi.” I meekly greet.

She doesn't say a word. I look down to the tile floor. How should I say this? Would she get mad at me if I did tell her this? I hope not.

“Risa I...I didn't mean to leave you. I'm sorry. I...is it ok that...we can still be together again?”

The last thing I expected from her was to cry. I thought she would yell at me, throw things at me, tell me to get out and to never see her again but she wasn't doing that. She was crying. I don't know if its a happy cry or one that released her pent up sorrow, but that doesn't matter. I'll make everything better. I go over to her and sit next to her. I take Risa into my arms and hold her. I can feel myself starting to tear and I don't know why. Risa puts a hand to her face to hide her tears and I circle my arms around her waist, protectively.

“I'm sorry. Risa, I'm sorry.” I whispers, rocking her gently into my arms.

She puts her hand down and grabs my hand. I look into her tear filled brown eyes and sniffle to contain my own sobs.

“I know you don't understand and...I don't either but Ai-chan,” She takes my hand and puts it over her stomach. “I know it's yours. I don't know how but it's your child too.”

I kiss the top of her head and put my chin to her shoulder. I can feel my tears silently slipping down my face. What if it is mine? What will I do? Would I be a good mother? What should I do? Risa hiccups a few times through the silent, but I can see that she's calming down. Her breathing is becoming less heavy and more relaxed. Sleep is taking her over. She must feel so relieved now and I am too. I'm finally happy again. I stroke her hair, affectionately and sit there. I'm not leaving now wither this child is mine or not. I'm going to stick with Risa until the end. That's how it's meant to be.

***

“Ai, relax.” Reina says.

I spin around to my group of friends, frantic. They're looking at me scared out of their minds, but not for Risa for me. I take a deep breath and wipe the sweat forming around my forehead. I think I'm starting to hyperventilate. Is this normal?!

“Relax?! Reina, I've been standing in this waiting room for over TWO hours! How can I relax?!” I shout. “What if something went wrong?! What if the baby is sick o-or Risa is in danger?!”

I start to pace around the room at a quick pace and my friends do nothing to stop me. They know how stressed I am and I'm sure nothing they can say will stop me from freaking out. But I think that's normal. I mean my girlfriend is in labor and I have every right to worry! Anything can happen in the delivery room! She could die or what if I lose the baby?! I don't want my baby to die! Wait...I can't be so sure if that child is mine. I'll have to see once the baby is born. Why won't it just come out already?! It would save Risa from all this pain too. I pick up the speed in my steps as I think about this and the possible outcomes, none which are exactly good. Please, Risa just be ok! Am I hyperventilating again?
“Ai-chan, will you stay still!? You're freaking us out!” Reina screams.

I stand still and turn to my friends, realizing they're still here with me. I let out a nervous chuckle and look to the title floor, embarrassed. I wipe the sweat on my palms against my jeans and let out a shaky deep breath. Right, I gotta stay calm. I have to keep cool. I hear the double doors to the emergency room open and I spin around scared all over again. Please let it be something good. I curl up my hands to fist, tightly. The doctor that came out, walks up to me with a neutral face. I gulp. My friends stand, staying close behind me to prepare for the news. At least it's good to know I'm not alone and that my friends are here in case something horrible does happen. It makes me feel only slightly better.

“Takahashi Ai?” The doctor ask.

“Yes.” I quiver.

“The baby has been delivered everything is perfectly fine. Niigaki-san would like to see you so you can go right in.”

“Thank you.”

I bow to the doctor and he smiles at me before leaving to attend to any other business that needs to be done. I guess I'm the only one allowed in, for now at least. I face my friends, still on edge and shaky to face what I might see when entering. They all smile at me. Sayu puts a hand to my arm and nods.

“Tell us if she's ok when you're done.” She says.

“Oh and the baby! Tell us about the baby too!” Eri wails.

Her excited behavior brings a brief smile to my face. “I will.” I agree.

I leave my friends and walk into the delivery room frightened. This is it. This is where I'll see if this child is actually my child and I no longer have to live in doubt. It's not that I don't believe Risa when ever she said it was mine all the time since she's been carrying it. It's just that, I need to see for myself. I don't want to be told something, I want to see it with my own eyes. I want to be the judge of what I'm about to see. As I go through the double doors I can see in the middle of the crowded room with hospital machinery and a single bed in the middle of the bed I can see Risa. Her eyes transfixed on the little bundle that's in her arms as she rocks to sooth the little baby tucked neatly inside the sheet. I've never been so eager in my life. I'm not scared anymore and the closer I get to the bed the more I want to see what this baby looks like, resting safely into Risa's arms. I've never seen such a cute sight before, until now. I stop at the railing of the bed and rest my hands on to the poles, attached to the small bed. Risa looks up, realizing I've showed up and she has this huge smile on her face. Her eyes light up with joy it makes my heart beat out of control. I feel warm inside with both excitement and happiness.

“How are you feeling?” I whisper, to not disturb the baby.

“I'm tired, but I'm glad all the pain and hard work is over.” She chuckles. “Do you want to hold her?”

I have the hugest smile on my face at the last words. “It's a girl?”

She nods. She holds the baby out to me and I can feel my arms shaking again to touch her. Ok, I just have to be gentle with her. I pick up my arms and get a firm grip around her then lift her out of Risa's arms. She squirms into my arms a little, scrunching her face as she stirs, but goes right back to sleep the instant she's securely in my arms. She's so beautiful. I look at her lost at what I'm holding in my hand. This has to be the most precious moment of my life. I dip down and kiss the baby lightly on the head and she starts to shift again, rubbing her tiny fist against her chubby cheeks and I let out a small giggle and smile. She yawns and in that second she slowly opens her eyes and my heart stops. She has my eyes. Then that means...she IS mine. She's my child too. I'm really her mom. I...I don't know what to say. I'm overwhelmed. I just start to cry, but they're tears of joy. I've never been so happy in my life. I look back at Risa, still unable to speak. I go over and kiss her, passionately.

“I love you.” I stutter, through my tears.

“I want her to have your last name. Takahashi Minto.” She replies.

I grin from ear to ear. I couldn't think of a better name myself.

A friend had to help me with the name. Minto is something they came up with which means wise door in kanji to match both the last names of Ai and Risa.

[candy_boy]

Aww~

The first part --the whole scene with Ai-chan ambushing Risa at her apartment-- was really cool. I like how you described her feelings. It really gets the reader into the atmosphere of the story, the setting. I was really nervous along with her. Brought me back to the time when I was in a similar situation 

By the way, you really have weird timing. I just finished learning about the birthing process and practicing how to deliver a baby. [bgcolor=#1d1d1d][bgcolor=#ffffff][bgcolor=#090909]Man, it's really nasty business.[/bgcolor][/bgcolor][/bgcolor] And I was just thinking how I'd never want to get pregnant...  then you bring down this atomic-warhead-of-a-fluff on me!! Damn you! 

Anyways, I was all smiles reading through this. I now officially feel warm and fuzzy all over Nice work yet again! 

[ringo-hime]

OHHHHHH..
pregnant Risa!!!

ohno..some old man drugged Ai!
im curious..haha.

LOL, Ai-chan was so cute hyperventelating. hahaha.

EPIC!!!

[JFC]

Ok, considering they're both girls it would have been a miracle for them to have gotten pregnant this way.



That being said, after the bar scene I was totally expecting you to have them name the kid "Koharu".

[rndmnwierd]

OMG that was so cute!! 

[writerjunkie]

@rindmnwierd- lol thanks, I'm happy that you like my latest one-shot.

@JFC- yes it can't happen but shhh it can happen here cuz stories make the impossible. Plus, TakaGaki having a child is so cute. ^_^ You can not deny that. lmao name their kid Koharu? Or maybe Miracle. lol

@ringo-hime- lol whatever the man did to the drink I'll leave it up to the readers' wild imagination. lol

@candy_boy- Oh...sorry didn't mean to remind you of all the nasty stuff that comes with giving birth and delivering a child. lol I can only imagine how that must look like. *cringes* Well at least I didn't have to go into detail about the baby being delivered! I saved you from that. lol I covered up that horrible imagery with fluff at the end so it's all good. =)

[strawb3rrykream]

OMG BABY~~~~ TakaGaki baby!!!!! So cute!! As much as I enjoyed all the angstiness and confusion, the baby is the best part~~

[Fizzle]

That was so strangely cute.

I was actually expecting a boy!Aichan since, y'know, what are the chances of a woman impregnating another woman? But you totally surprised me by letting Aichan stay as a female throughout the whole story, despite the unusual circumstances between her and Risa. I know I'd freak just like her if I found out that I impregnated someone of the same sex. But I bet their kid is blindingly beautiful. I mean, the parents are Aichan and Risa after all. =D

So, um, what kind of stuff did the sneaky old man put in Aichan's drink? Is she kind of like a... "guy" now? ._. If so, then she better not get friendly with the other girls, or she'll end up in huge heaps of diapers trouble.

[badsaints]

I gave my 2-cents view on H!O but considering how beautiful this story is, I just have to put in another cents worth here also.

It's beautiful how you describe the story. I can't help but smile with Ai as she hold the baby (the lady who sat next to me thought I was crazy ). Oh did I tell you that it's beautiful?

Btw, I totally seconded what Fizzle say here

[DO Me DO Me]

Strange, but it can only happen in the Land of H!P fics. Very sweet story, it's been a long time since I've read a story that had someone pregnant in it.

[kRisZ]

She looks up at me from the ground, brokenhearted.

My heart did twinge

“When you're ready to tell me the truth you know where I'll be.” I growl. “Until then...don't even THINK about trying to speak to me. As far as I'm concerned...we're over Risa.”

Damn

“Oh silly girl

When I read this, I thought it was a typo but then when I read on... damn she really is a girl, no wonder Ai could not believe it

She's quite determined and I'm very stubborn.

A very good combination for a non ending battle 



Woman+woman=baby’s strangeness didn’t leave a big question mark, at least for me, because it’s being overshadowed by the way you’ve awesomely written the story. Very impressive.

[writerjunkie]

Title: Eri's Christmas Adventure

“Mush! Mush! Mush! STOP! Hey, slow down! AH!”

The rider standing inside the red sled flipped over from the abrupt stop from her group of 'reindeer' who were having a hard time pulling the heavy wooden sled along the snow covered streets. It was much too late and too cold to be out pulling something this heavy. The ground was too slippery. In this type of blistering cold weather and at this late hour no one wanted to be out here fooling around or romping in thick white snow, but the commander of the sled who was still on the floor saw this as the perfect time to be out and do kind acts of generosity to others who were tucked comfortably into bed. The group working the sled envied the people who were into bed warm and shielded from the cold. The commander's partner peeked over the sled to inspect the damage to the sudden stop.

“Eririn, are you OK?!” Sayumi asked.

From the ground, a black glove covered thumb peeked out over the rim of the sled as a reply, quashing Sayumi's worries. She sighed and sat back into the cushioned sled seat. Her eyes turned to the  'reindeer' that caused her best friend to fall.

“Be careful you three.” Sayumi warned, to their 'reindeer'.

A sneeze erupted from one of the three 'reindeer', the other two were too cold to processes what was being said from the dark haired bunny decorated in red and white Christmas clothing. Visibly, the three 'reindeer' shook to fight against the strong brisk air. While Santa Kamei slowly climbed her way back to her feet and into the large red sled.

“I think I'm getting a cold!” Chisato complained, and sniffled.

“I can't feel my toes!” Miyabi cried. “Kamei-san, couldn't you have gotten REAL reindeer?”

Eri entered the sled once again and sat back down comfortably. She fixed the red and white Santa hat on her head before grabbing the ropes to her 'reindeer' again.

“Ah, but real reindeer don't fly!” Eri replied, with a goofy grin in place.

“Neither do we!” Chisato shot back.

Eri's grin grew which made her three juniors fear what else she had in mind. It was bad enough that she had gotten the three out of bed and nearly forced them all to come and aid the airhead turtle for her plan to spread Christmas cheer. If it weren't for Sayumi's help Eri would be here reindeerless.

“Well, yeah, you three can't fly, but you can climb.” Eri smirked.

Miyabi squinted at her senpai, trying to get the meaning behind her words. “What's that supposed to mean?”

Eri's goofy grinned remained and a giggle came out from hearing her junior's questions.

“Hey, wait a minute!” Chisato interrupted. “You can't afford real reindeer, but you can afford moose costumes?! You could have at least gotten the right costumes.”

“Yeah, why does Kusumi-san get the only reindeer costume?” Miyabi complained.

“I told you guys we're on a tight budget.” Eri replied, silencing the complaining of her two juniors. “Now, where are my two elves?!”

Eri and Sayumi looked around for their little helpers through the strong blowing winter air. The two rokkies noticed a pair of angry eyes during their search and knew it was one of their elves. The short elf folded her arms over her chest and sulked. She didn't want to be a part of this, but she had no choice and Eri and Sayumi weren't going to let her go now that they were at the first house. In defeat, the small elf stomped over to the sled in rage at the two girls that had forced her also to dress up in a ridiculous elf outfit. Right behind the unhappy elf followed another girl much more shorter than the angry elf up front.

“Why am I the elf?!” The taller elf snapped. “I wanted to be Mrs. Claus.”

“Because Reina, I make a cuter Mrs. Claus.” Sayumi replied, performing a cute pose to prove her statement.

She ignored the glare Reina was giving her and smiled at Reina's misfortune of being stuck to be an elf. The fact that Reina's glare was being ignored and had no effect on Sayumi it left Reina even angrier with her assigned duty in this stupid late night attempt of spreading Christmas spirit.

“Besides, who else is short enough to fit into those costumes?” Eri added. “Santa has to have his elves!”

“Hey!” Momoko shouted, offended to Eri's explanation.

Reina grumbled a few times and scowled. “I was better off being a reindeer.” She mumbled.

“But I like being Rudolf!” Koharu shouted.

“Enough!” Eri demanded, before any other statements were made. “Now just get us up that roof my Christmas helpers!” Eri pointed to the chosen house with a whip in hand.

The three 'reindeer' and two elves looked at the young turtle in silence. Neither girl could believe what she ordered for them to do. The group of girls looked at each other then back to Eri, who was still pointing to the roof with her whip. The five girls settled on to the thick whip in Eri's hand just realizing she had pulled that thick whip from nowhere.

“Where did she get that whip?!” Reina yelled in fear.

“You aren't serious, right?” Miyabi whispered.

“Very serious.” Sayumi replied. “Momo, Reina, you better help Koha, Chisato, and Miyabi get up that roof.”

 ***After Climbing The Roof***

“Why did you make us climb that roof?!” Momoko squeaked.

The group of girls were now inside the chosen house out of breath and red in the face from the strain of getting the heavy sled up the roof while Eri and Sayumi sat inside. The five girls who worked on getting the sled inside were all just glad it was over, which meant that they didn't have to worry about nearly falling off the roof again or breaking something. It also was nice to be inside a warm and cozy living room for a change rather than the ice cold winter weather outside.

“Hush, Momoko! Your high pitched voice squeaky voice annoys me.” Eri replied.

“We chose right to make her an elf.” Sayumi added, observantly.

Momoko pouted and turned away from her two senpais upset. She grumbled as she walked away to try and contain herself from snapping at the older girls. Eri stood up to see who she could get to do the work of unloading the bag of gifts.

“Momoko, get your peachy butt over here to unload the presents.” Eri ordered.

“Hey!” Momoko shrieked, a hand going over her butt in embarrassment. “...you think my butt is peachy?”

“Be careful, she has a whip.” Sayumi reminded, ending any protest that might have came after her question from Momoko's mouth.

“Who gave that whip to her in the first place?!” Chisato questioned. “My back hurts because of it!”

“My butt hurts!” Miyabi cried.

“I don't wanna be a reindeer anymore!” Koharu whined.

“Quit your complaining! We have stuff to do.” Eri reminded curtly, silencing the group once again. “NOW! The list! Sayumi get the list!”

Eri opened her hand, waiting for her request. Sayumi's face scrunched up in confusion then stared at Eri's opened hand.

“We have a list?” Sayumi whispered covertly.

Eri put her hand down and scratched the back of her head to the question. “Well...we're supposed to.” She answered.

“No one made a list?!” Reina screamed, highly annoyed.

Eri gave out a bashfully giggle and looked around to her four juniors, who were also unhappy to Reina's announcement. Eri scratched the back of her head and smiled nervously.

“I kind of figured...Sayu would do it.” She admitted.

There was a long pause as the group of girls glared at the aho turtle in the sled. Not only was everyone dragged out of their bed and forced to do this stupid stunt at the dead of night and freezing cold, but it was also not organized and Eri clearly had no idea what she was doing. This night couldn't be any worse.

“Can I go home now?!” Momoko pleaded, desperately.

“No! These people need presents.” Eri responded.

“Why don't we give everyone coal and we have all the gifts?” Sayumi smiled, evilly.

“Sayu, it doesn't work that way!” Eri denied. “Hmm...I'll just have to remember who gets what.”

“There's no way you can do that!” Reina protested. “There are too many people to remember.”

Eri signaled for Reina to remain quiet as she tried her hardest to remember the people on her large list. She did not get a word Reina said.

“Quiet down shorty!” Eri bellowed.

Reina's face turned into a sneer, her teeth grinding together, finally fed up with the remarks she was receiving from both Sayumi and Eri. It was bad enough being stuck an elf and now Eri was making fun of her height, a very touchy subject for the yankii. Eri snapped out of her heavy thinking and noticed Reina's raging facial expression.

“Your a snippy elf aren't you?” Eri noticed. “Where's your Holiday cheer, Reina?”

“Shut it, idiot!” Reina replied.

“I told her we should have made her a reindeer.” Sayumi whispered, for Eri to hear.

“Hey,” Miyabi cut in. “Who's house is this anyway?”

Suddenly, the light to the living room flickered on and the group of girls turned to the direction of the switch. Their expressions changed from confused and curious to fearful and panicked.

“MIKI?!” The girls yelled.

“RUN FOR IT!” Eri screamed.

The girls screamed and yelled while they ran around causing massive panic.

 ***Many Hours Later***

“I've never felt so violated!” Miyabi cried, clinging on to Momoko's arm disturbed.

Momoko hugged on to Miyabi tightly, obviously startled as well from what happened inside Miki's house. Koharu and Chisato just held on to each other crying and shaking from the horror they've been through, trying to escape from Miki's clutches. Sayumi was helping Eri who was having a hard time walking and fell straight into the snow a few times while walking down the street. Out of everyone in the group, Eri's clothes were ripped the most and her hair was a mess. She lost her hat on the way trying to leave and didn't bother to get it back. It was better off there for obvious reasons.

“C-can I go home now?” Momoko begged.

“Who ever knew Fujimoto-san had...” Chisato left the rest untold, too traumatized to say anything else.
 
The seven girls just looked at each other horrified from tonight's events. All seven made a silent promise that didn't need to be spoken. This was clearly a story that shouldn't be spread around amongst the Hello! Project girls and neither of the young girls in this group wanted anyone else to know. It was just better off left ignored and later forgotten. With the silent promise out of the way, Eri finally was able to find her voice.

“I-I- I think we should...go home.” Eri agreed, stumbling as she walked.

Sayumi rushed over to help steady the small turtle again. Eri clung on to her best friend for much needed support. The other girls nodded in agreement to Eri's announcement. Together, the girls walked through the bright colored snow taking relief in the quietness around this sleeping town.

“Kamei-san, are you OK?” Koharu asked, noticing Eri walking crooked.

Before Eri could even mumble a word, she slipped from Sayumi's weak grasp and fell face first into a large pile of snow.

[kawaii beam]

LOL of course it had to be eri XDDDDD so unorganised XDDD lol and of all the houses in the town they had to land on miki's XDDD so hilarious!