Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo

[~Dan~]

Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo

ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo


WHAT. THE. FUCK.

[iacus]

At least she didn't die in vain.

Now women the world over know that sticking a jackhammer up their crotch can have deadly consequences.

[tru_harmony]

that was just 

[shadowstar]

WTF is really the most appropriate thing to say here..

[THUNDERDUCK]

Talking about coming and going at the same time...

[shurastriker]

probably she never used the required protection (goggles, helmet, gloves)

[JTRIX]

I just wonder how the fuck she can stick a jackhammer up her crotch???

[frblckstr1]

^ You should watch some (more) JAV

[shadowstar]

I just wonder how the fuck she can stick a jackhammer up her crotch???

Ah, the wonders of women!

[Tuffty]

That's terrible. Can't imagine the pain she must have been in.

How she managed to do it is just...

[JFC]

As Gackt would say...

[arun.yothin]

When I first read it late last night, I was thinking she had a dildo on the end of it. Is there no mention if there was one or just the actual jackhammer. She shoulda bought one of those machines actually made for the job.

[tru_harmony]

the crazier thing about using the proper machines is that she actually sells sex toys

[ichijoujirena]

Buh..... 

She probably got tired of all the sex toys and wanted to try something new?

[Datalanche]

You know, I understand that in the end everybody wants to get off, but the day I am so desperate for it that I am about to put a high-RPM device near my rod, I'll just pay for the plane ticket to Vegas and hooker it up instead. Seriously, what are some people thinking? >__________________>

[eynjel18]

She must have seen "Tetsuo: the Iron Man"