All In Good TimeSlumping into the water, Ai allowed herself to slide down until the water lapped at her chin. Closing her eyes , she leaned her head back to rest on the edge of the bathtub, letting the hot water relax her body.
There was nothing more relaxing than a soak in the tub, and Ai could feel the knots in her muscles loosening. Her breaths became long and deep, her mind following the calming rhythms.
It felt a little strange not to have something other than her private thoughts to occupy herself while in the bathtub. She had become used to either reading scripts or gaming while doing so, never allowing her mind to remain idle. It was oddly pleasant to have her mind empty itself, neither feeling or thinking, suspended in a single moment.
Such moments of peace were few and far between, and Ai cherished them. More often than not, her thoughts were always a whirl of activity. The things she had to do, the things she planned to do, hundreds of different little details crowding in her mind, all clamouring to be heard. Gaming helped to banish those persistent little voices by giving her something else to focus on. Speaking of which, she was getting close to beating Tactics, and she couldn't believe Reina had forbidden her from bringing her DS in.
The nerve.The thought made her smile, unconsciously. Her languid thoughts shifted easily over to the pint-sized kitten that had insinuated herself into her life. Her chest tightened again at the memory of Reina coming to her defense earlier. She had been terrified when Reina appeared then. Afraid of what Reina would think. Afraid of how Reina would look at her.
But Reina had not looked at her disgust, or even pity. Reina had protected her. The memory brought a warm feeling to her heart. Despite how weak she had been, how weak she still was, Reina had still come for her. Ai could not imagine why anyone would, but the fact remained that Reina was
there for her when she had been all alone.
I really don't deserve her. The thought made Ai's forehead crease, and she brought her knees up, hugging them to her chest. Reina was so full of life and energy, and Ai felt boring in comparison to her. She could not imagine why Reina continued to be with her when she could be out with other more interesting company.
Even though I want her by my side.The thought made her go still. It was true. Ai felt a strong urge to protect Reina, and more than that, to bind the younger girl by her side. The impulse was powerful, and Ai lowered her head, her cheeks burning. She didn't want to let go of Reina at all, like a child never wanting to let go of their favorite toy. She clenched her fists at her sides. That couldn't be right. Reina was a person, not a toy. Ai had no rights, none at all, to keep her by her side. The thought stung, but Ai couldn't quite banish the selfish thoughts from her mind. It shamed her to feel that way.
Reina really deserves someone better than me.Reina's outburst came back to her. Ai rested her chin on her knees, staring at the bubbles on the surface of the water. The things Reina said earlier had a powerful impact on her. Reina's anger and sadness because of Ai's actions made the older girl feel ashamed of herself. She wanted Reina to be happy, but it seemed to Ai that she just didn't know how to make the younger girl happy.
To think of myself...? Ai struggled with the concept. It was hard. It was easier to focus on other things. The last time she had seriously thought of what she wanted, she had ended up leaving home and coming to the city to pursue her dream. Even now, she occasionally still felt a twinge of guilt at the way she left, but refused to regret it. She had made a decision and would stick by it, come hell or high water. It was the way she was.
Ai had once felt like she would never think of others again after her failed relatioship with Yamashita. Reina had changed that though. Reina made her smile again,
really smile, not the fake ones she put on for the camera. It made her happy to see Reina happy, and in that she felt like she could sort of understand what Reina meant when she said she wanted her to be happy. To know that Reina cared for her so much was a joy in itself.
Still, it was inconceivable that anyone could accept her as she was. Ai struggled with old memories as they surfaced. She wanted to be a better person, but her past gave her nightmares of her own making. Her failures tore at her; the worst of which, of course, had been her association with Yamashita. She still regretted it, blaming herself for being so foolish. These little things ate at her, preying on what little self-confidence she possessed, until she was far happier when she was
not herself.
It was in part because of this that she enjoyed theater. There, on stage, she could be any number of things, anything but herself. The masks she could put on there liberated her, freeing her from being, well, herself. Ai could feel in control there, instead of being her weak self.
That was what felt the strangest when she was with Reina. Ai pushed herself hard in all things, striving to eliminate the weak parts of herself, enduring anything in order to burn away those weaknesses she saw in herself. There were still far too many, but Ai was nothing if not persistent. With Reina though, Ai sometimes found herself slipping a little, relaxing and just goofing off to do something silly with the younger girl. Despite her desperate need to be seen as an 'adult', Ai had been surprised to find that it was
fun to just play and act like a kid.
Ai knew she was often too serious, an observation many had made of her. She never had a problem with that before, since she felt like it was only right to be serious for work. Finding that she could still be as childish as her age evidently allowed came as a surprise, and that was one of the more important things Reina had given her.
The thought made her smile wryly. Younger though Reina might be, it seemed that Ai still had to learn from the younger girl. Her pride prickled a little at that, but Ai did not let it bother her too much. She always had more to learn. The perfectionist in Ai would never stop seeking to better herself. There was always room for improvement.
It seemed like an age as her thoughts worked themselves through, and Ai's skin was starting to get pruney by the time she finally heaved herself out of the tub, still dripping. Reaching for a towel, Ai winced when she brushed against the nail marks on her arms. That had been a stupid thing to do earlier, but she hadn't been thinking straight then.
Even as she spaced out in front of the mirror, her hands working automatically with towel to dry herself, her stomach growled. Ai flushed, though there was no one around to witness it. She would have to do something about dinner soon.
It was only when she reached out for something to put on when she realized that in her rush to the bathroom earlier, she had completely forgotten to bring a set of clothes in.
Well, darn. Ai frowned briefly, then shrugged. The towel would serve until she could get to her room. With that in mind, she gave no more thought to the situation and stepped outside.
~*~*~
Reina was bored. Even without a game system to entertain herself in the bathroom, Ai still enjoyed taking her time in there. After Reina had successfully ridden herself of the fake nails and even cleaned up the mess, the yankii girl found herself with nothing to do for a good bit.
Then again, it only took all of 5 minutes for her to start feeling bored, so it was really her own fault. Reina's mind was not really on the drama playing on the television. It kept straying to the girl in the bathroom, and Reina sucked nervously on her thumb.
Something had changed between them, Reina was certain. She couldn't quite put a finger on it, but it was just different. Reina was fairly sure that none of her friends made her feel so strongly for them. She would back any one of them up anytime, but with Ai, it felt so much more intense. The thought of anyone hurting Ai infuriated her, and it tore Reina apart whenever Ai was in pain. Reina had never been good with crying people, but Ai crying really messed her up.
All this thinking was making her confused, and Reina hated that. If she didn't already like Ai so much, she might have been cross at the older girl for making her head hurt like that. Reina preferred it when things were laid out clearly in the open. All these mixed signals and strange feelings made Reina want to scream. If she had a clear idea what all this was, she could at least do something about it. The way things stood, she didn't even know how to approach the issue, and that bothered her. Reina was not made for inaction.
Let's see. Ai is important to me. Reina started off with the first certainty, ticking off one point on her fingers. She hesitated, considering the next point.
I want Ai to be happy. The next point, ticked off decisively. Reina paused again. She didn't particularly know how to continue from there. The two points she had were correct, of course. As to where that led to, she wasn't sure.
You like her. Fuji's voice echoed in her head. Reina scowled, her cheeks flushing lightly. Of course she liked Ai! Ai was her friend! An important friend, Reina added to herself. It was normal to like your friends, Reina reasoned.
Her stomach growled, reminding Reina that she had yet to have dinner. The kitty frowned. Ai would have to be hungry too, and it would still be some time before the girl came out of the bathroom. Reina made her up her mind in an instant, leaping up from the couch.
When Ai finally did wander out, she saw Reina busy in her kitchen, dilligently making a simple dinner with whatever was in her fridge. The sight made her smile, and a mischievous thought slipped into her head.
To think was to act, and Ai stole closer to Reina, taking advantage of the younger girl's distraction to sneak right up to her back. A quick glance ascertained that Reina was not handling anything hot or sharp at the moment, and Ai grinned briefly to herself before breathing right into Reina's ear.
"Rei~"
"Kyaa!" Reina dropped the onigiri she was making, jumping in her surprise. Ai laughed behind her, snorting hard in a most unladylike fashion. Reina growled, turning on the older girl.
"Don't do that!" Reina had her hands on her hips, the perfect picture of indignation...at least until she took in the fact that Ai was only clad in a towel and precious little else. Her face turned red, though if anyone pointed it out to her, she would probably vehemently deny it.
Ai was still giggling, hardly aware of Reina's state. Having grown up with a younger sister, Ai had very little discomfort about her current state of undress. It wasn't like she was completely naked after all. There
was a towel in the way.
"Get dressed!" Reina ordered, trying to hide her moment of distress with a display of anger. Throwing a tantrum was always an option for the spoiled only child she was, and Reina had turned her back on Ai when the older girl quite suddenly wrapped her arms in a loose embrace around Reina's neck, making the younger girl freeze.
"Reina's such a good girl~" Ai chuckled, leaning her chin on Reina's shoulder. "Thanks for making dinner."
"Y-you're welcome." Reina stuttered briefly, feeling Ai's closeness to her. To hide her sudden nervousness, the kitten continued on irritably.
"Go put on some clothes before you catch a cold!"
Ai laughed and pulled away, but not before reaching up with a finger to flick off a grain of rice that had ended up on Reina's face earlier, putting the grain into her mouth with a flourish. Reina saw it out of the corner of her eye and flushed harder, though she stubbornly refused to turn around. Ai chuckled again.
"You look adorable in an apron!" Ai called out before darting quickly away to her room, her laughter ringing in Reina's ears. The poor kitten was already blushing down to the roots of her hair, and she wasn't even sure why.
This is all Ai's fault. Reina asserted to herself. That woman was way too confusing for her own good. Satisfied with that explanation, Reina conveniently avoided thinking further on the topic.
After all, for all of her apparent maturity, Reina was only 15 years old. Some realizations would not come easily, if at all.
For now, perhaps it would be enough to be innocently happy. There would be time enough for other things, all in good time.
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Still postponing on the fluff.
Sorry guys, but they gotta take it slow for now. Happens when you have two stubborn people in the equation.
And now I sleep!
Topic: Destiny Love [16/02 - In My Own Time] (Read 78614 times)