Whooooooooooooooooooooottttt!!!!!!!!!
First off,
congratulations SarangAi on finishing your fic on 100 chapters. That's a quite a remarkable feat for a first time writer.
(But it's good that your chapters aren't that long, isn't it?
)
The last two song fics featuring solos from all four of our protagonists were so very lovely
I especially loved the moment when Ai came on stage and sung for her panicked lover.
Thank you for all the hard work you put into the song chapters. Wonderful. I actually haven't looked into the meaning behind the songs before >.< Do you translate them yourself, or get the translations elsewhere?
Cute, girly song for yankii Reina
I think she did an awesome job singing it though, and imagining Eri watching her girlfriend sing that and all those thoughts that ran through her mind...
Ai-chan solo FTW!
All for her bean; that was an incredibly heartfelt chapter...
And I love how you brought back all the other minor characters too!
at Aika's retort against Sayu... but awwwwwwwwwww at SayuJun. Before this fic, I had never actually read about these two before
but it's safe to say, you've made me a fan!
The
final chapter....
Simple yet so
DAMN sweet. A very fitting ending to a very competent story.
Cheesy Eri
+ Magician Reina
= TanaKame =
TanaKame living together =
*Beecubed is sorry for the emoticon abuse* 
And TakaGaki kissy purikura - I get such a sense of innocence between them here. It's as if all the pervs didn't happen >.<
But wow, I didn't expect that was the place Gaki-san was going to drag Ai-chan too. I'm so happy for these two!
Now, I'm going to step out of fangirl mode and do a bit more critiquing...
I think as a writer, you have such great control over the flow of the story and you know how a narrative works. You are quite expressive, and you have a good feel for dialogue. The writing isn't as fleshed out and elaborate as other authors around here who I've read, like Estrea or rndm (just two off the top of my head
), but it strangely doesn't take away from the impact of your story.
However, I think this makes everything such a fast-paced read. Not everyone will agree, but personally, I would like for you (in your following stories) to perhaps think about slowing down a bit and focuse more on details - on feelings, moods, the little things... your story sometimes feels quite hurried and moves forward in flurries of events; like one thing happening after the other, talk, talk, talk, and maybe a little bit of delving into emotion every now and then. I'm not saying any of this was boring - in fact, everything you wrote about was interesting and managed to hold my attention. I guess... it's just as somebody who loves language and gets all
seeing it being creatively used etc. etc., I sometimes crave for more of it when I read fanfiction. I know, I'm a total nerd.
If you're just writing for fun and don't want to take all this too seriously, then please ignore what I've just suggested. But if you are inclined to improve, then I hope you take what I've said into consideration. My advice may not be all that great, but I'm just giving you all this to ponder over because I'm an extremely passionate reader and would love to see my authors do better and better... all in the name of
....
I am still bummed that KameShige lost out so badly.
But TanaKame as main next time should be interesting.
I vote for much more angst and grief next time~! Hehe.
Anyways, all in all, I think you've done a fantastic job with this fic. I can totally understand why it has created such a following (look at all those lurkers!!!!
), and I'm looking forward to everything else you will be sharing with us in the future.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SARANGAI, FOR SHARING KOKORO NO UTA WITH US!
Topic: Kokoro no Uta ~Mainly TakaGaki, TanaKame~ [COMPLETE - EXTRA: Ch. 101 - (12/1)] (Read 241441 times)